#the nidhogg isn't gone

[ind1exo]

No way they got Clive referring to himself in third person. 🤣 It's got to be a mistake or something.

Or has it? Apparently not according to his route that happens after this because... Lars' route being uncanon *sniff* Also Lars worries over every little inconvenience. It's no problem, Clive.

Pfft- The two biggest slackers of the bunch are trying to hog all the credit? No freaking way. They know they're lying too.

[siderealcity]

I've had some thoughts buzzing around in my head about the narrative structure and themes of Dawntrail, and I might do a longer post on this later, but I want to get this one down real quick.

Land of spoilers ahead, enter at your own risk.

Very early in the MSQ, well before I got to the final zone, I couldn't help being struck by how similar in construction this story is to Heavensward.

They are almost point-for-point identical. Go on a quest across a land you are unfamiliar with, guided by two characters who are natives of that region, both of whom believe at the start that they already know all there is to know about their home. They both learn they were wrong about their own knowledge of their people. You achieve the stated goal of the quest at around the halfway to two-thirds mark of the plot! ...at which point shit gets real because you did so. Then you're forced to chase after a villain who murders an important and beloved character into a high-tech dream/nightmare-like land. We even keep having campfire scenes, just to hammer home the point.

I don't think that similarity is accidental.

But the parallel that I really want to talk about here is that Sphene and Hraesvelgr are mirrors of one another.

Yeah, you read that right. Sphene and Hraesvelgr.

Because their central conflict is letting go of the dead. Hraesvelgr consumed his beloved's soul to keep her with him forever, and Sphene uploads the memories of all her people to the cloud and then eats their souls to keep those memories alive. The largest difference between them is that Hraesvelgr has spent centuries wallowing in his grief. For Shiva, for Ratatoskr, for the dream of peace they both shared. And Sphene refuses to grieve. Everything is fine! They're all still here! No one is ever gone, because she won't let them go.

Dragons, we are repeatedly told, don't perceive time as we mortals do. To them, the past and present are indistinguishable. Hraesvelgr lives forever in the moment of his loss, just as much as he does in the moment of his happiness. And Sphene is, herself, a recording. She exists as a snapshot both of the idealized, happy, past, and the tragedy of its destruction.

In the end, Hraesvelgr permits himself to move on. And so he doesn't become the monster that replaces Nidhogg. And Sphene isn't allowed to let go. Her programming doesn't let her.

Like Emet-Selch and Elidibus, she has no future because she can only live in the past.

[iamnotshazam]

in ffxiv, dragons can sense other dragons, and mortals can train themselves to "see" and feel other mortals' aether. there must only ever be a few people at a time in all of coerthas, much less inside ishgard, that can do both, and well. those who might, dragoons and blood-changed heretics, have until recently spent their lives racing towards death or dragonhood. no one knew . . .

which is why estinien is. a bit surprised. a little unnerved. when he wakes up in ishgard after the final steps of faith and something is . . . different about everyone in the city. it's very slight and takes him a long time to even try to describe. like there's a breath of dragon's aether just slightly layered in between their eyes and their mortal soul, but in ways not physical. it's neither mortal aether nor dragon aether. and it's so stretched and thin it should break and yet it's inexplicably strong.

it should not be familiar to him in his mortal shell but it is. nidhogg's memories and estinien's own acknowledgement of the truth of the war (that they do not deserve her) both pull against making the assumption but eventually he has to admit-

ishgard is steeped in ratatoskr's aether.

it gathers strongest in teachers and bards and parents nurturing children. it croons grief, and yes, anger, over the dragoon training grounds but also rejoiced when they drove back dragons that would kill the dragonets children of the nest city. it settles into warm bellies with the bite of fresh bread and twines around thumbs as if amazed. it keens hardest at betrayal and abandoned children. if an orphan in the brume is very tired and lonely or afraid as they fall asleep, they might hear a moment of a lullaby from a voice that isn't real, in a language that doesn't exist on hydaelyn or the dragonstar, but they understand all the same. it delights over the choir in st reymanaud's cathedral and dances over the air let out from the pipe organ. it coils around the soft skin of the elderly on a deathbed and gives what comfort it can for a people doomed to mortality. it is awestruck with every live birth, so painful, so triumphant, so weirdly . . . mammalian.

it is not really her. more like the echo of an echo. nidhogg expected the ascians to try some terrible scheme with her memory, as they had with tiamat and bahamut, but they didn't. perhaps the villains knew the first brood would never fall for that again. no matter how badly he missed her he knew she wouldn't want her life extended unnaturally if her eyes and body were gone. yet midgardsormr and his brood are not mortal, and something of choice remains for them after death. to dissipate into the aetherial sea? or, like midgardsormr resting in the lake, to linger for some watchful purpose after death?

estinien books it the hell out of ishgard with a lot of flowers. he's got a lot of graves to see, and he doesnt plan on stopping until he reaches sohr khai

[dainesanddaffodils]

I wanna write fic but my Brain doesn't so instead of a full fic I'm just gonna write a long Tumblr post about the thing I wanna write fic about that's... kinda a fic? mix of fic and not fic

soo

AU where Estinien and Cimorene met very briefly as kids.

y'know. pre-Nidhogg.

also pre-calamity so it's not... endless winter in Coerthas. Except it IS still Winter because it's like. Starlight season and it's the alps, so its kinda snowy. And being, y'know, shepherds, Estinien is accompanying his father to go, like, trade some wool in the North Shroud and its probably the first time he's gone because he's like 11-12 now and his father thinks he's old enough to start learning more about The Family Business.

so they're in Fallgourd Float, which is warmer but still kinda snowy because again, foothills of the alps in winter - and they're essentially peddling their wares to folk who don't want to travel all the way into Coerthas for the kind of good quality wool that area has. And it goes pretty well and they make what's considered a decent amount of Gil for a market day and so they plan to stay the night at the town's inn and go back home in the morning.

and just outside the inn there's a cart with a small... not quite crowd gathered around it. And sitting on the back of the cart are two au ra, playing instruments for the handful of people amassed.

which, you know, is kinda fucking rare. rare in Gridania and very rare in Coerthas. and like, rural shepherds boy Estinien has definitely never seen one and only kinda heard of them, and he kinda looks to his dad for 'how do we react to this' guidance.

and Estinien's dad isn't racist because I said so, because I refuse to play into rural and catholic must mean racist. So even though he, too, probably has actually never seen an au ra and definitely not a xaela au ra, he does know that they're not, y'know, dragon-adjacent and so he's just like 'huh. didn't think au ra came this far north'

so Estinien is like 'we're cool. got it.' and moves a little closer because, damn it, he is curious.

There's the au ri man with pale blue skin and white hair - and he's singing a Starlight carol that most people know (because Cimorene's dad was really good at picking up songs from every place they traveled; he also learned Starlight is popular in the Shroud and playing Starlight songs will get more people interested).

Beside him is a young girl that doesn't look like she could be any older than Estinien's baby brother. Her skin is a milky white, her dark mossy hair is braided back, showing off fin-like horns. She's playing a long stringed instrument that looks like its too big for her - but she clearly knows what she's doing. She's focused entirely on playing, unlike her father who is beaming at his audience, exuding warmth and friendliness. It's that, as much as his pleasant voice, that draws Estinien a few steps closer, fully into the amassed crowd.

Then the man picks up a small flute that had sat beside him and begins to play. On cue, the girl takes over singing the next verse.

Her voice is high and clear as a bell - so much so that it's hard for Estinein to fully wrap his mind around the idea that she's making the sound and not another instrument. It's pretty, yes, but almost unnerving. He thinks of folk stories his mom has told him, about sirens in the seas that lure sailors to their deaths. He kinda takes a step back and runs into his dad who has moved up to join him.

They linger until song ends and a couple people drop Gil in a basket the au ri man has gotten out. He thanks each person, even strikes up small conversations with a few who seem more inclined to speak to him. Meanwhile the girl tunes her lute-like instrument with single minded focus that makes her seem older; his brother certainly doesn’t have that attention span.

Estinien doesn’t realize that he’s staring until his father taps him on the shoulder, passing him a Gil.

“Go on; they gave us a show.”

The man is in the middle of a conversation with a miqo’te hunter that doesn’t look like it’s wrapping up anytime soon. Estinien shuffles in place awkwardly, before he finally gets too impatient and walks up to the girl.

“Here,” he says, holding the coin out to her.

She looks up at him, eyes wide. It’s the first time he’s really seen them; a bright yellow that seems to glow in the grey, early evening gloom. She doesn’t take the Gil. She doesn’t say anything.

Her father laughs, not unkindly. “Cimorene, the nice boy wants to give that to us.”

She hesitates a second longer then snatches it out of his hand and scrambles back into the cart, closer to her father.

“Come on, I know I’ve taught you better than that,” he says, shaking his head.

Her pale face darkens. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

Estinien just shrugs; he doesn’t like having this much attention on him. “Can we go inside now?” He asks his father.

It’s his turn to be laughed at. His father exchanges a look with Cimorene’s father that says ‘kids, am I right?’ before he says, “Yes all right. Thank you,” he adds again to the musicians.

“Thank you,” Cimorene’s father echoes. Cimorene is still tucked into his side but she gives them a small smile at last - and Estinien can admit she’s kinda cute (the way adults call his little brother cute; the way newborn lambs are cute).

The au ri musicians are gone in the morning. Ferndale is gone a month later.

Both children forget the encounter entirely.

[mariyekos]

As Azure Fades Analysis, Part 1

Azure Dragoons: Aging and the Impact of the Eyes

@scrollsfromarebornrealm made an EXCELLENT analysis post about the newest short story from the official FFXIV sidestory website, and in my attempt to respond to it I ended up with something so long it probably won't fit in a single post. So, I decided to split it up before i hit the image/text limit.

And yeah, in case you didn't know there's a new official FFXIV short story out relating to Estinien and Haldrath. Go check it out, because it is AMAZING.

First things first, as is typical of me: I will be discussing both canon and headcanon here. I will do my best to make it very clear when I am discussing something explicitly stated or heavily implied in canon, and when I am discussing headcanon. Some of this will come from the new short story, but I will also make references to the whole game, so get ready for sources galore!

Introductory Sources:

(Above: from the new story)

(Above: from the quest Heart of Ice)

(Above: from the sidequest Thar be Dragons)

Hraesvelgr's Line, and the Lifespan of Elezen

Alright with my sources out of the way, I actually interpreted the new story and Hraesvelgr lines differently! First, when I read Hraesvelgr's line, I took it as him saying that Estinien would be old and unable to effectively fight by age 50, rather than that Estinien would be dead by then.

Elezen live to be 100-120, but Edmont and Charlemald use old face models by age 56 I believe, so it's not like they stay spring chickens forever. I'm taking the fact that Haldrath and Aureniquart have young faces as the devs wanting them to be recognizable, or maybe aging a little more gracefully. It's been 20 years, so I would put them at mid 40s, maaaaybe mid 50s since Estinien and Aymeric are 32 in HW, which means 32 is a perfectly good age to still be fighting. If elezen live to 100-120, then 45-55 could definitely fit for "a brawny man well into his middle years."

In canon, it is heavily implied if not outright confirmed that transformed heretics can live for centuries (see: Thar be Dragons). In my long-established headcanon, Estinien ends up aging slower because of Nidhogg's power. In that HC, Hraesvelgr doesn't necessarily know of the impact that Nidhogg's Eye had on Haldrath, since Hraesvelgr basically peaced out after handing Nidhogg his own Eye. This new story is making me re-evaluate that HC... In Canon, the actual Eyes of Nidhogg are gone at this point, but Estinien spent some time a few days according to Lucia, but it's months/patch time in my HC again possessed by Nidhogg with the Eyes in his flesh, and there's no denying there have been lasting effects. Going purely on canon, Estinien can do the clone thing now, and is a huge powerhouse. The dragons recognize the bit of Nidhogg that resides within him too. Stuff like scales is pure HC that I happily accept but acknowledge isn't canon as far as anything we've seen. But imo that could partly the modelers being lazy since that would require excess effort .

(Above: Estinien making clones, à la Nidstinien. Source, with video)

Haldrath, Estinien, and How They Age

Now, Estinien's lifespan might not be impacted at all by what happened with Nidhogg. But since heretics can live centuries, and we know Estinien has been impacted somewhat...I think it's possible Hraesvelgr's assessment about Estinien being spent by 50 was wrong. Especially if we go with the idea that in his isolation he didn't know what happened to Haldrath beyond just that Haldrath had the Eyes (general had, no knowledge of the merge). Plus, his "spent" assessment came before Estinien ended up melding with the Eyes. If we go with the assumption that Hraesvelgr does know about what the Eye did to Haldrath, it could also be that Hraesvelgr told Estinien he would be old and infirm by 50 because he assumed Estinien would get rid of the Eye before it had any lasting effects on him, like all the other Azure Dragoons. By getting rid of it, he'd get old too.

(Above: from the new story).

Haldrath was still able to slay dragons during his middle years, after all. He collapsed because of Nidhogg's growing influence. Which admittedly could've been better-able to get him because maybe in aging he was growing weaker, but I think you could say it was more prolonged exposure to Nidhogg making him vulnerable than aging-induced-weakness.

(Above: Thordan upon revealing Haldrath in the quest Heavensward)

In the new story, Estinien mentions Haldrath's aging corpse. In the quest Heavensward, Archbishop Thordan VII makes reference to the body's lack of decay. This preservation is why I HC that maybe Estinien would end up aging slower- maybe the aether would be enough to maintain him as he is, just as Haldrath was. Now we didn't take of Haldrath's armor so who knows what lies beneath, but what I find interesting is that his corpse apparently did not change. He most definitely didn't turn into a full-on dragon. He's still an elezen (albeit with an eye in his chest, which is notably smaller than the Eyes bound to Estinien! I really wonder if there is meant to be a lore reason, like the Eyes tunneling deeper into the flesh over time, or if that was just a visual thing to make possessed!Estinien seem creepier). It could be that Haldrath neither decayed nor transformed because Nidhogg's power could only transform living beings, not dead ones. Haldrath's body never rose on its own to return to Nidhogg, after all.

Dragon Eyes and Consciousness/Control

Which brings into question how much consciousness is afforded to the Eyes... Vrtra can operate Varshahn and his true body separately, but given the scene when he freezes as Varshahn while he calls to Azdaja with his true body, maybe Dragons can only instill consciousness in one Eye-containing vessel at once. Haldrath kept both Eyes, even if only one merged to him (and why only one...? just to make sure the story could happen, or maybe because Nidhogg was weakened by the attack and only one could...?). Estinien had both Eyes when possessed too. When Nidhogg speaks through the Eye to Estinien in the lv50 DRG quest, we don't see his true body (with Hraesvelgr's Eye) and whatever that's doing. Maybe Nidhogg can only keep his consciousness in one place/with one Eye (so it's rendered moot when both Eyes are together).

Maybe dragons can only use their Eyes operate living beings (Varshahn is made by alchemists, so he's special). Maybe there was some sort of seal on Haldrath's dead body that kept Nidhogg from making it rise and deliver the other Eye unto him, even after Berteline/the next Azure Dragoon(s) held the Left one. Maybe he just didn't feel like going through the trouble to reclaim it because he could wage his war perfectly well with Hraesvelgr's Eye and wasn't going for extermination/didn't need full power until HW. Maybe the writers just needed an Eye in Haldrath's body and let the reason for Nidhogg not reclaiming it slide to make an awesome story moment.

(Above: comparison of Eye sizes. Also Estinien's Eyes move)

Summary on Aging, HC and Canon

In any case! Back to canon: 1) Transformed heretics can live for centuries. 2) Haldrath's body ceased to age and did not decay after the Eye merged to him. 3) The Eye was able to remain in Haldrath's body for a thousand years and was still functional when it merged to Estinien (it wiggles in the CSs).

HCs from this: maybe Estinien will age slower and be able to maintain his form. Maybe he will gradually be transformed into a dragon or more draconic being over time. Even a drop of dragon's blood- supposedly- is enough to transform an Ishgardian, and Estinien got fully blasted with Dragon Essence upon possession. We even see a middle form during the Nidstinien fight! Nidhogg's shade (dragon form) might just be an aetheric projection rather than flesh. But back to HC, I interpret that as Nidhogg attempting to actually warp flesh, before going to his Shade and then returning to the form that his body- Estinien's body- recognizes best as its own.

...All of this is a really long way to say that I don't think Estinien would necessarily be dead by 50. Well. Unless we take it with the idea that Nidhogg would have taken full control of him, and that the "youthful vigor" he would lose would be his ability to reject Nidhogg's influence before being lost as Haldrath was. For some reason that did not occur to me until this very moment, over an hour into writing this, despite the fact that that was probably what scrollsfromarebornrealm was implying... And/or that scrollsfromarebornrealm just meant that Estinien would probably get himself killed by 50 because yeahhhh, that man did NOT seem to care about himself enough to be safe and survive that long. Especially if aging meant he grew weak and then said weakness had him fall in battle (rather than Nidhogg's corruption straight up killing him by 50. Which is also an intriguing possibility).

"Becoming the Azure Dragoon is a death sentence."

The quote above comes directly from @scrollsfromarebornrealm's post. While I'm not looking at it as dragoons being too old/weak to fight by 50, I do wholeheartedly agree with the idea that (nearly) all Azure Dragoons die young. Partially because of the dangers of their job, partially because of the risk of Nidhogg's influence.

First, Alberic. Alberic retired 20 years ago and he's fine! But two things: 1) Alberic was 24 when he retired (don't feel like taking a picture, but in my Encyclopedia Eorzea it says he's 44, and it's been 20 years). 2) Alberic is a hyur. Haldrath held onto BOTH eyes of Nidhogg for 20 years before he could no longer handle it, and drank of Ratatoskr's aether. Most Azure Dragoons were probably Elezen given the racial distribution of Ishgard. Alberic, a hyur, does not bear elezen/dragon blood (as long as he's purely hyur, which I am assuming he is). In addition, he probably only had the Eye for a handful of years at most, since he was only 24 when he rejected it. It makes sense that he would walk away from Nidhogg with relatively few impacts. He didn't die in battle and he firmly rejected the Eye when it threatened to take control of him. I think retirement for an Azure Dragoon (followed by at least two decades of survival) is EXTREMELY uncommon in Ishgard's history.

(Above: from the new story)

A few things here. I'll start with the point I was trying to make: "While the Eye lent him strength, in harboring Nidhogg's undying malice, it was also slowly corrupting his being. Ere long it would finally consume him..." In other words, the Eye is most definitely a death sentence. It will kill Haldrath eventually. Possessing an Eye long term- at least as a part of one's own flesh, though since it seems possessing it long term binds it to the Azure Dragoon's flesh you could just shorten that to "long term" only- will corrupt the Azure Dragoon to the point of no return. The only options left at that point seem to be Getting Consumed And Becoming Nidhogg's Puppet (Estinien) or Being Killed As To Not Become A Puppet (Haldrath). It was too late to reject the Eye, which is what Alberic did to make his escape.

Back into HC territory, I now want to pick up an old fic of mine about a previous Azure Dragoon basically having to be put down upon being too far gone due to Nidhogg's Corruption. Not to the level that the Eye melded to their flesh as it did Haldrath and Estinien, but mental corruption, and maybe attacks like the one Haldrath has. Ishgard would be wary of another Azure Dragoon being claimed by the Eye not only because they don't want Nidhogg to have a new pawn, but also because they can't afford to lose the second Eye with the first still bound to Haldrath. They also probably wouldn't want news of the Azure Dragoon's corruption leaking to the public, since the Azure Dragoon is supposed to be a hero and that would be Not Good for the Azure Dragoon's image. So maybe Ishgard kills Azure Dragoons who are too far gone (whether they're actually too far or whether the people in power are paranoid about it).

A different HC I'm not sold on but thought of is that the stress of being Azure Dragoon could lead to an early grave. Yes Dragon blood does extend the lives of transformed heretic, but it could be that without the transformation, the stress of it all causes damage to the insides of Azure Dragoons in a way that prematurely ages them and/or just causes them to die young. Alberic at 44 has some white hair. Which 44 year old men can definitely have without anything bad happening, don't get me wrong! But that could be a fun HC interpretation of that.

So yeah. I HC that Azure Dragoons die young as based on 1) them potentially needing to be killed to avoid falling to Nidhogg, 2) their jobs being so dangerous they're killed in battle (and the Eye retrieved) or die from wounds, 3) the stress of the Eye causing irreparable damage that leads them to die young even after relinquishing the Eye. Plus, as @scrollsfromarebornrealm points out, Valeroyant died 2 years after fending off Nidhogg. We don't have many named Azure Dragoons so even one early death is suspect!

Haldrath and the Two Eyes

(Above: from the new story)

Yes, one of these is a repeat of the one above. But I really want to empahsize something in this because my eyes (haha) are SO wide at this. Haldrath refers to an Eye, singular, being what is corrupting him. Not the Eyes plural. And only one of the eyes has fused to his body, which matches what we know. At first I thought that maybe he only had one or something. Yet he tells Berteline that he will "entrust [Nidhogg's] eyes" plural to her.

So this is odd. Haldrath only mentions drawing on a singular Eye, and only a singular Eye has fused to his body. But he entrusts both to Berteline. My thought here is that maybe he stopped drawing on the power of the second one once the first fused to him, unwilling to give up the strength afforded by the first, but wary of drawing on the second lest it fuse to him too. I do wonder if he thought Bertiline would be able to pry Nidhogg's Right Eye from his corpse (in addition to presumably taking the Left Eye from him, which is the one Estinien has), or if when he said he was entrusting the eye to her he meant he was entrusting his dead body (containing the Eye) to her to...keep away from Nidhogg, or something. In the Echo Flashback to Haldrath following the events of The Aery, we can see Haldrath holding both Eyes and then storing them. It's heavily implied (if not outright stated) that Haldrath never met with any of the Knights Twelve again, save Aureniquart on his deathbed, so I assume Haldrath would've also had the Left Eye on him at his death even if only the Right had fused to him.

But yeah. Haldrath says he's been corrupted by One Singular Eye. It could be that the second just isn't mentioned here because it hasn't fused to him, and maybe I'm reading too far into this (see: me going feral over Estinien saying "Then you and Alphinaud threw my eyes off a bridge, and I’ve never known peace since."). Yet he must possess two to entrust both to Bertiline. Interesting.

I do wonder if anyone ever attempted to pry the Eye from Haldrath's body. It is possible they thought he was a Holy Object and didn't want to disturb him so never tried. It's possible that those who knew of him were worried they might also be corrupted if they touched the Eye, so they didn't want to try. It's possible they tried and failed. Who knows. But it seems like the Eye remained undisturbed within Haldrath's ageless corpse until Thordan used Primal Powers to fuel his ascendance to a God-King.

End Note

I honestly don't know what to say anymore other than Wow.

This one short story has blasted my mind open. I'm not sure how many words this giant essay is, but it's been about 3 hours so I think i should stop for now, despite the fact that I've hardly even begun to talk about some of the most intriguing parts of the short story! (See: Estinien being able to see Haldrath's memories and attributing it to Nidhogg, a more in-depth analysis of corruption, being able to hear Nidhogg and him sounding like the wind (hey remember that dragoon helmets are designed to make the sound of the wind going through it seem like a dragon scream, thank you levequest), whatever the hell was in that drink (I think it would be fascinating to explore it being an intentional flashback on the part of the Alchemists, using the blood they took from him...maybe fic worthy hmmmm), the parallels between Haldrath and Estinien losing their burning passion to fight, Aureniquart and the pain of being told to kill your liege-lord plus potential backstory there and some lines about loyalty...needless to say there's a lot more to talk about!)

So for now I am going to stop here. There's a lot to think about. Haldrath did not die in battle as I'd assumed, but due to the Eye's corruption. He entrusted the Eye to a successor, as Nidhogg had already begun to call out to others. He asked to be killed. This has big repercussions.

If you've read this whole thing, thank you! I hope my rambling was somewhat interesting. If you want to discuss anything here, reblog or reply and I would love to talk xD. I don't have every lore piece memorized, and I've definitely forgotten some things, so if I'm missing some crucial information I would be happy to know!!

[milesducemdominus]

"That isn't something you can ask for." Aymeric replied, eyes fixated upon the ground aside him for but a moment ere he raised it. He would always worry for his friends, for they were all he had as a family; worry came naturally to him, especially when he had perfectly good reasons to worry. Estinien had almost died; he'd seen it with his own eyes, had carried him all the way from the Steps of Faith to the infirmary. He'd done naught but worry.

"He's gone." There was a vague sense of relief within his voice, a weary smile pulling onto features; "... The warrior ended him. Nidhogg is no more; the war is over, my friend." And though it was a great relief and a monumental moment in their history, there was now much to be done.

"I feared I had lost you to him." Aymeric admits, gaze falling once more to their held hands, his own seeking great comfort in that softened contact. He couldn't lose another friend, not so soon... his dear heart couldn't have taken it but oh, heavens, had he been dancing on the precipice of it. The relief just to see Estinien awake was nigh overwhelming.

Neither of us are dead. Even just hearing this sentence felt wrong. Estinien didn’t remember everything, but he remembered a rare moment of clarity that was supposed to be his end. He remembered the dreadful wyrm and what it felt like to be controlled by him, he remembered the isolation and loneliness as he lost himself more and more to Nidhogg’s control, but he also remembered begging the Warrior of Light for death when he finally managed to regain control over his own body long enough to suppress the dragon. So why was he still alive? His entire chest was filling with dread. Did he really dare ask what had happened if he was still alive and Aymeric looked as pale as a ghost, apparently still being haunted by what had happened?

“Fool”, he scolds the other from between gritted teeth, as always he was quick to forget about his own pain and well-being, ignoring the crushing headache or the sheer exhaustion that threatened to pull him under again at any given moment. To prevent that he held on to Aymeric, concentrating on the comforting warmth his hand radiated, clinging to it like a lifeline.

“Don’t lose sleep. Not over me.” I don’t deserve it.

Estinien knew he was supposed to be dead, he had been ready to die, and yet a selfish part of him was grateful that he was granted to wake up again and see that Aymeric was alive and well. He never would have forgiven himself if he had brought harm to the one person that had believed in him ever since they were young. The fact that Aymeric had shot an arrow at the possessed Estinien was a fact he quickly pushed to the side. Still, he had to know, even though he was afraid of the possible answers..

“What happened? Nidhogg.. where is he?”

[kayzis]

a guide to shura's hair over the first 3 questlines ✨ text + other details under the cut~

A REALM REBORN

shura cut his own hair, so it hangs awkwardly + unevenly around his face

it's messy and shaggy, and he doesnt care about maintaining it too much. still has his blue highlights from when he was a teenager

he's all big goofy smiles to hide the Pain Inside (tm). still getting used to being WoL and having a sense of purpose

gucci eye bags

HEAVENSWARD

events after ARR shook him up. he stops cutting his hair, but eventually when he comes to his senses, he decides to let it grow and takes better care of it. his blue highlights start to grow out

despite the trauma shura experienced, he's more chill, more confident, and his general mental health has improved, bc he has good people around him and he's adjusting to his new life. his time in ishgard (specifically with house fortemps) is exactly what he needed

on the other side of this he's more open with his emotions and hides them a bit less - hence, he lets his hair sit off his face. something something metaphor for not hiding his true self anymore

gets some sleep :)

STORMBLOOD

the fight against nidhogg/estinien probably burned and otherwise ruined his hair, so shura cut it off to neaten it up a bit. would later become grateful for it when his travels took him to gyr abania, where the climate is basically the opposite of ishgard

his blue highlights are gone by this point, and he actually starts to care about his appearance properly now.

although he has friends and a family again, he starts to feel the weight of being Warrior of light, and essentially being a weapon in a war that isn't his to fight. is far more serious/thoughtful than before - takes thancred and estinien's words to heart about the scions kind of just using him as their trump card all the time.

eye bags make their return but this time theyre versace