#the next time i see them compared to brutus and caesar because it's the only pairing that springs to mind i'll do heinous things

[polepositioned]

"prost and senna were so brutus/caesar coded" WRONG.

[amanece-parabellum]

It's all good, girl. I get you, don't worry. Also, don't worry about English not being your native language. You're doing great! There's a few minor typos from time to time, but nothing too hard to understand. Plus, English is my ONLY language, and I keep messing up with typos all the time, lol. My phone's autocorrect goes crazy.

I also wanted to take this chance to expand with something I forgot in the Curly ask. And that is that you show Curly does still have a really good heart. And it's because of that heart that everything is so heavy and he feels such shame and remorse.

It's a great foil to Jimmy the next chapter when Curly is telling Anya that it's all his fault, to never forgive him if she doesn't want to, and his frustration when he literally cannot process it when she starts to blame herself as he feel's he's failed her again seeing her blame herself. Compare that to Jimmy, who runs away from her figuratively and literally in his nightmares until he is literally cut down, unable to escape.

I'm so excited to see how they develop together because it really does feel like the world is against them, especially with how unhuman everyone else treats them while on earth. It's an excellent detail that they're taken care of as a "duty" and are seen for the "miracle" of returning from space. But it feels like they're only human and themselves in that moment they had together. I don't know if its on purpose, but it really makes me miss them, and I can't wait to see more of them together.

sob It's something I've talked about with my fiancée before: Jimmy and Curly are the tragedy of being two sides of the same coin. Cain and Abel. Caesar and Brutus. Romulus and Remus. Plots with characters like that fascinate me. Curly is too good for his own good. Jimmy is too bad for his own good. Everything unravels and goes to hell from that similarity and difference between the two. They're ethically complicated that way. Jimmy is unable to acknowledge his guilt, Curly is unable to stop feeling guilty. While one would be able to live his whole life running away from what he did, the other would be able to live his whole life unable to forgive himself. That's how they've always lived and they've become too accustomed to this toxic model of life that they've both trapped each other in.

[sa-suga]

friends with (economic) benefits

credits to @haikyuu-ink for the lovely title! (her fics are amazing and were what inspired me to try writing haikyuu imagines too, so definitely check her blog out!! i worship the ground she walks on tbh)

∟ iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader | teeth-rotting fluff, a lil bit of angst

warnings: swear words bc i apparently use them for humour now, haha shit

word count: 4k

masterlist

summary: there’s an alarming amount of couple’s discounts throughout the year, and you’re not one to turn down a discount, especially when you’ve got two guy best friends. it’s all in good fun till you realize - this was never an act for you.

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

It starts like this - February 14th of your second year, forgotten mittens and your breath blowing out in puffs, the usual “shut up, Trashykawa” and “so mean, Iwa-chan~”, and a flyer in the window of a bakery that says: valendine, free hot cocoas for you and your sweetheart with any purchase!

Stopping to stare at the flyer, you consider your situation. Your hands are freezing. No amount of rubbing or sticking them in the pockets of your coat will change that.

“Y/n-chan?” Tooru asks when the two boys come to a stop behind you. “We just ate, and you already want a bun?” His smile turns teasing.

For once, you don’t rise to the bait. Hot cocoa. God, you could almost feel the warmth. Whipping your head to the side, you give both boys a critical once-over. Tooru squirms, clutching his ribs where Iwaizumi had given him a sharp jab. Yeah, no.

“You’ll do,” you decide, and promptly grab Iwaizumi by the arm.

“L/n, what-” Iwaizumi starts. Your left arm is linked with his, dragging him forward with you as you march through the bakery.

“A donut, please,” you tell the cashier - a boy who can’t be much older than you, and who looks like he would much rather be home than in the ghastly pink apron he’s wearing - confidently, “and we’ll take the free hot cocoas too.”

Apron Boy gives you two a critical once-over. “It’s for couples only,” he tells you, voice flat. “It’s written on the flyer-”

“-And we’re a couple,” you say, beaming. Next to you, Iwaizumi chokes, starting to splutter something, and you dig your elbow into his ribs. Apron Boy levels you an unimpressed stare. He’s really making us work for it, huh. While Iwaizumi wheezes, you look Apron Boy dead in the eye-

-And hook your right hand in Iwaizumi’s collar, tugging him down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Right, Hajime?” You smile sweetly at him. Your eyes promise murder if he doesn’t play along. Do it for the cocoa, you try to tell him telepathically.

Iwaizumi gulps. He can’t tell if his heart is beating too fast or not beating at all - all he feels is the brush of your hand against his neck, how soft your lips had felt on his cheek, and - shit, he thinks a little deliriously, because the hand you’d used to tug him down is now snaking down to rest lightly on his chest, right over his heart, and oh yeah it’s definitely beating, I think I’m dying, what the actual fuck.

“Y-yeah,” he manages to choke out, because you’re still staring at him the way you do when there’s clearly a right answer, and if he gives the wrong one he’s going to regret it for weeks. “We’re dating.” It’s a once in a lifetime chance, he thinks with a touch of hysteria, and reaches down for your left hand, now free, to lace his fingers with yours.

Apron Boy huffs, but turns around to fill two cups with cocoa. You turn to Iwaizumi with a smile.

“Mission accomplished!” You whisper in his ear.

(His breathing stutters. His face is remarkably red. You don’t notice either of these things, in the same way you’ve forgotten that Tooru is still outside the bakery, staring at your backs with the scheming look he gets when he’s planning out how to break an opposing team’s strategy, starting with their morale.)

You take your cocoa and donut, leaving the bakery with Iwaizumi’s arm linked with yours again.

(He’s warm. You try not to think too much about it.)

“Y/n-chan,” Tooru whines when you reach him, “if you wanted a fake boyfriend you could have asked me!” He strikes a pose, and you can almost see the shoujo sparkles, “It’d be an honour to be your prin-” He chokes off with a pained wheeze. Iwaizumi lowers his foot.

“Shut up, Shittykawa. She didn’t want to be mobbed by your fangirls.”

You smile. “Yeah,” you agree around a mouthful of your donut, then, as an afterthought, go in for the kill. “Not that I know what they see in you, Tooru-kun.”

You tune out Tooru’s splutters. The warmth of the cocoa seeps into your palm through the styrofoam cup. You offer the unbitten side of your donut to Iwaizumi. “Want a bite?”

He studies you for a moment, an expression you can’t decipher - you file it away in your mind, even as you tell yourself you won’t be mulling over it later, because there’s nothing to think about, nope - and you think he’s going to decline. You pout, but just as you’re pulling the donut away Iwaizumi lunges forward slightly in a sudden movement, and you freeze.

He takes a bite, small, almost courteous, but his eyes don’t leave yours.

“Thanks,” he says, and looks away. The moment - it wasn’t a moment, you argue almost immediately; he’s just a friend, and friends share food all the time - ends, and you lower your arm after a beat. Ah, you note faintly, feeling kind of detached from everything, as your mind replays the white flash of teeth sinking into pink icing, lingering on equally pink lips, it’s kind of warm again.

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

For some reason, after Valendines, you see a poster boasting some sort of Couple’s promotion every time the three of you hang out.

No biggie, you tell yourself, as you link your arm with Iwaizumi’s, it’s a promotion, I have two guy best friends, it’d be a downright waste if I let this pass me by. You smile at Iwaizumi over the complementary bubble tea you’re sipping.

I can’t ask Tooru, I’d be mauled by his fangirls, I swear they’re everywhere, you think as you let your hand slip into a calloused one, and accept a waffle that was 50% off. Iwaizumi curses as he takes a first bite, the waffle fresh and warm. Carefully, you wrap the waffle in the napkin and tear it in half, offering it to Tooru. I’m just being economical.

Fuck, you admit finally, as you grumble through Iwaizumi’s ruffling of your hair. You glare up at him through the mess of your fringe, eyeing the amused lilt to his mouth and hoping he writes the flush on your cheeks off as a result of the lingering chill, I think I’m getting attached.

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

Iwaizumi, for his part, learns to melt on the notice of an arm hooked through his, a (small, your hands were so small compared to his, fuck) hand on his back. He learns to turn his head for chaste kisses on the cheek, and develops the habit of pushing your bangs back to plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.

He tells himself it doesn’t mean anything. You had been Oikawa’s friend before you’d been his - first year classmates with a flair for dramatics, the both of you had gotten along like a match and a firecracker, or two bulls in a shop of fine china.

"You should confess, you know,” Oikawa mentions casually while they’re stretching after practice, and Iwaizumi flounders, puts too much weight on the setter’s back - Oikawa breaks off into a screech.

“Tch,” he says, letting up on his friend’s back, glad that Oikawa can’t see his blush. “Stop saying stupid things, Loserkawa.”

The setter laughs. “Y/n-chan’s asking you to pretend to be her boyfriend at least twice a week, who knows, you might have a chance, Iwa-chan!”

“Shut up,” the ace replies, and pushes Oikawa forward a little harder, drawing satisfaction from the squawk he makes as he’s forced to stretch further than he usually does.

It doesn’t mean anything, because you’re just friends, and he knows how frugal you are. Whatever this was, it was definitely in his head. You did it for your wallet; he’s just the bastard who takes advantage of it to hold your hand.

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

You like theatre. You’re only in your second year of high school, but your mind is mostly made up - you want to study literature in university, and maybe theatre arts too. There’s something about the ironies, the tragic endings that if you think about a little more, are actually inspiring in that they reaffirm the human spirit, that draws you in.

But you can’t act, for all your love for stageplays and dramatic flair. You teeter, endlessly, on the fraying tightrope between apathy (Brutus was stoic too, and a rather boring character compared to Cassius, in your opinion) and feeling too much (Caesar died for his potential, what a waste). You never could act, so you settle into the role of director in Aoba Johsai’s theatre club and write plays of romance and tears.

Method acting. If this was a play, then it’s the first that you’ve truly lost yourself in acting. Except it’s not so much that you’ve immersed yourself in it but that the role has eaten you up and spat you out, turned you inside out to bare your feelings to the burn of the spotlights.

(You can’t keep lying to yourself. This was never a question of immersing yourself in a role - your feelings have always been lying in wait, and it’s only now that they’ve finally crawled out of the concrete to wither in the face of the sun.)

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

You’re walking home after school on a Monday with Iwaizumi. Tooru had a check-up for his knee, and you realize this might be the first time you’ve been alone with Iwaizumi for an extended period of time since Valendines. 

“Man, I wish Tooru-kun would stop overworking himself,” you finally say, breaking the silence. Had it always been so awkward with Iwaizumi? Sure, you were slightly closer to Tooru, but you considered both boys as your best friends, no matter how much your friends in class liked to waggle their eyebrows and giggle excitedly whenever they came to pick you up from class for lunch.

“Hey, L/n,” Iwaizumi starts. Something in his voice makes you pause, and you look at him questioningly. He’s decidedly avoiding looking in your eyes.

“Why’d you call Oikawa Tooru-kun?” He finally says, then, seemingly only just realizing what he’d said, tries to backtrack, “I mean, I’m just curious, it’s not like I find it weird or anything.” He stuffs his hands deeper into his pockets, and - was that a blush on his cheeks? You resist the urge to rub your eyes.

You laugh a little. Of course not. You know how Iwaizumi is - shy for all his brashness, awkward for all his consideration. Of course it isn’t what all your shoujo manga would suggest. 

“He asked me to call him that,” you answer, looking forward again, hand tightening on the strap of your bag, “apparently calling him Oikawa-kun makes it seem like I’m one of his fangirls.” Then, to alleviate the awkwardness, “And unlike you, Iwaizumi, I don’t constantly find new insults to pun with his name.“

Next to you, Iwaizumi huffs, and you let yourself smile. You’re nearing the crossroads between where Iwaizumi lives and you do. 

“You can, you know,” Iwaizumi blurts out when you’re about to say something that’ll break your heart like see you tomorrow, or bye, I gotta go bury myself in shoujo manga when I get home to satisfy my unrealistic expectations, “I mean, you’ve called me that once.” At this, you peer up at him curiously.

“And we’re a couple, right, Hajime?” Valendines; hot cocoa and the reassuring beat of a heart under your palm. 

God, you wanted to strangle past you.

You smile. Your heart fractures and shatters in a pretty firework of glass shards. “You can call me Y/n then. Bye, Hajime, see you tomorrow!”

You turn with a wave, leaving Iwaizumi staring at your back. Your roads split, and at the crossroads you cut your palms on the jagged edges of your heart.

(Iwaizumi is awkward. Iwaizumi is kind, and considerate, and everything you hadn’t known you wanted until you’d watched him serve a volleyball into the back of Oikawa’s head, and had felt his lips on your forehead.

Iwaizumi is awkward. Iwaizumi is kind. You are his best friend, and maybe your use of his last name had made him question your friendship.

Ah, you tell yourself, as you scoop fragments of glass into your hands and watch the way they reflect the sky above you in fractures, better by my hands than his.)

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

If this was a play, then the climax comes when you least expect it, for all the buildup of suspense that had led you to where you are now.

In hindsight, you’re ashamed you didn’t see it coming.

You hide behind a wall as you hear a first year stumble through her confession - a blur of Iwaizumi-senpai and I really look up to you, you’re the ace of Seijoh’s volleyball team, I watched you play the other day - and try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach. 

You’ve made your peace, had made it since you realized that what you feel is more than momentary attraction to one of your annoyingly attractive best friends; you’ve patched your heart up with the glue the theatre club used for props, added a bandage when you realized your feelings still leaked through a hole in the bottom, and layered a band-aid over it for every time he hovers in the doorway of your classroom during lunch, every victorious smile he sends your way when they win a game (because of course you’d go to all of them, they’re your best friends, and that’s exactly why you will never risk ruining what the three of you already have). 

You realize it doesn’t matter, because your heart is crumbling under its own weight, and no amount of glue or band-aids can stand in the way of gravity.

The first year finishes her confession, and you hold your breath with her, even though you know you should walk away.

Iwaizumi says something too soft for you to pick up, but when the first year thanks him for his time with a wobble to her voice, you know it’s a rejection.

(You feel terrible for the momentary lifting of your heart.)

The first year runs past you, and you brush off your skirt. It’s about time you left, Tooru will be wondering where the both of you are. 

You take a step, and your foot knocks against a discarded soda can that you hadn’t seen.

“Y/n?” You whirl around, and Iwaizumi is looking at you, surprise on his face.

Shit, you think, this is the climax, isn’t it? 

“Yo, Hajime!” You try for a smile, your voice light. It sounds a little unhinged. “Getting real popular, aren’t you? Tooru-kun better watch out, eh?” You take a step backwards, and the moment you feel your foot slip on the same soda can that’d been the trigger to this entire fiasco, you know: the universe really is gunning for the whole shoujo scene today, huh. 

True to form, Iwaizumi catches you, lunging forward instinctively to pull you forward by your arm. 

But he isn’t the ace for nothing, and those biceps and forearms certainly aren’t for show. As it is, he pulls a little too hard, and you stumble into his chest with an oof, only to trip over his feet and send the both of you toppling forwards with your weight. 

Oof indeed, you think a little hysterically, as you raise your head to see Iwaizumi’s face inches from yours, cheeks flushed and lips parted from the shock of impact, your hand on his chest - it’s a very nice chest, you register appreciatively, with a touch of deliria. Your mind does the equivalent of a Windows shut down, complete with the dying cries. 

“Y/n?” Oh, his voice is low, and rough, and very, very hot. You flush hotter than you thought was possible. “Are you okay?” His hand is on your waist, burning through the fabric of your uniform.

“Yeah,” you say, without feeling your tongue. Fuck, his collar is open. Again. Did he know how much he tormented the entire school population when he did that? Tooru had even hummed appreciatively the first time he’d popped a button while arm wrestling Makki, not that you know how the physics of that had worked. 

“Um,” he says again, when you don’t move. “Are you sure?”

“Peachy,” you answer. Your eyes linger on his lips.

“Okay,” Iwaizumi says, sounding a little strangled. (He noticed. He’s trying very hard not to think too much about how one of your legs is slotted between his, and seeing your eyes drop to his mouth really isn’t helping.)

Then he remembers what landed him here in the first place (besides you literally landing on him, but he’s not thinking about that right now, nope.)

“How much did you hear?” The question brings you back, and you wrench your gaze away from his lips, because what the fuck, we talked about this, you’ve even exhausted your emotional wallet on band-aids, fuck. 

“Uh,” you say intelligently, “everything?” You pause. Then, “She was cute.” I’m so glad you turned her down. 

“Okay.” Iwaizumi takes a moment to process this. You’re still on him, your (stupidly cute and small) hand on his chest. He closes his eyes for a moment. To whatever entity lies up there, don’t let Shittykawa pick the photo for my funeral. 

He opens his eyes, fixes you with a stare. “Okay,” he repeats, and he sounds as lost as you are. Then, very seriously, he says, “Feel free to slap me,” and leans in.

He goes slow, not that it matters, because you’ve lost all control of your body. You couldn’t move even if Oikawa was aiming one of his jump serves at you right now. 

An eternity passes before his eyes close (the part of you that’s still capable of thought mourns, because his eyes really are a very pretty shade of olive green, and- oh fuck, his lashes are longer than yours, that’s unfair, what the actual fuck), then his lips are on yours and whatever part of your brain that had been running on fumes and hysteria dies.

It’s the barest touch of lips, a shy glance that can’t even be called chaste. Iwaizumi lingers in your space for a moment, then pulls away completely.

You reach out on autopilot, hooking your hand in his collar (like on February 14th, which feels like a lifetime ago at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday), and bringing his lips to yours in a messy clash of noses and teeth. You feel him stiffen, then he’s leaning in, his free hand reaching up to cup your face. He tilts his head slightly, and oh, your noses aren’t in the way anymore. You make a noise in the back of your throat, and Iwaizumi’s hand on your hip tightens.

The sting jerks you back to the present, and you lurch away from him in a sudden movement, pushing him away with both hands on his chest.

“Y/n?” You cover your face in your hands, because Iwaizumi sounds thoroughly gone. “Fuck, shit, I’m so sorry, I should have asked, are you okay? Fuck, I really am sorry-”

You slap your hands onto his mouth. “Shut. Up,” you huff, flushing so much you think you might pop a blood vessel, or maybe a very important artery. But when you steal a glance at him, Iwaizumi looks so stricken, so guilty, and you realize what this must look like to him.

“Wait, no-” You take your hands off his mouth, waving them around in your haste to explain, “I liked it,” you say finally, and blush hard enough to make you light-headed again. “It’s just, it was my first kiss,” here you look away form him in embarrassment, bringing your hands up to cover your face again. “And I probably really, really suck,” you finish lamely, muffled by your palms.

Silence. You try not to overthink it. You fail.

Just when you’re about to apologize and maybe run straight into a river, surely there’s one nearby, warm hands circle your wrists, and Iwaizumi gently pries your hands away from your face. (You resist. It makes no difference. The man is the undisputed champion of arm wrestling in Aoba Johsai, and maybe all of Miyagi, though you don’t know if he’s ever challenged the ace of Shiratorizawa.)

“I’m going to kiss you again,” he tells you, “And I’m really, really glad I’m your first kiss.” He leans in, and this time you’re the one to close your eyes. 

The kiss lasts a little longer this time; he coaxes your lips open, and you let yourself be swept into his rhythm. When he pulls away, you finally open your eyes. He’s looking at you, and you realize - oh, so that’s why it’s called eye contact. He’s as red as you feel, and every nerve in your body is fizzing under his gaze. 

“So, uh,” Iwaizumi blushes, and you resist the urge to pinch his cheeks, “Like you heard me tell her, I really like you.”

Wait, what?

“What?” You say. You hadn’t heard that.

Iwaizumi looks at you with dawning embarrassment. “I- she asked if I rejected her because of you and- and I said yes?” His voice breaks on yes. 

“Oh.” Then, as your mind slowly knits itself back together, you squish his cheeks between your hands, lean your forehead against his, and say with all the calm you don’t feel, “I like you too, Hajime.”

He flushes. It spreads downwards to his neck, and your eyes follow it unashamedly. There’s nothing to lose now - sometime during the emotional roller-coaster that you’ve yet to come down from, you’ve both moved till you're basically sitting on his lap. 

“Date me?” Iwaizumi asks, “please?”

You can’t help it, you laugh. “Please,” you tease.

He buries his head in the crook of your neck, grumbling, “You like it when boys are polite.”

You blink. It takes you a while to remember. “Were you listening in on the theatre club?” 

A pause. An uncertain, “No.”

You smile, feeling fondness bloom in the space between your ribs. “We were discussing the characterization of the prince for a play, dumbass. Besides, I like you, Hajime, even if you swear.” You don’t know how much I swear when I think about you. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” he breathes into your neck, then in a flash of movement he’s pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

From your right, the sound of a picture being taken echoes.

Both of you freeze. The position you’re in probably looks very compromising, you realize with horror.

But when you turn, all you see is Tooru, his phone held before him. Silence stretches between the three of you.

Tooru is the first to move. “Oops,” he says, not sounding sorry at all, and takes off in the opposite direction. Hajime curses and picks you up - wow, that’s hot, you think - setting you gently on your feet before he takes off after Tooru. 

“Fucking Trashykawa, get your ass back here!”

You laugh as you watch them streak over the courtyard. “Get him, Hajime!” Then, because you can, you let a wobbly smile take over your face and let the giggles spill from your (no longer virgin) lips.

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

It ends like this - February 14th of your third year, mittened hands holding yours (because you’d left your mittens at home again), “wah, I’m the third wheel now, aren’t I~”, “then go home, Lonerkawa, we won’t miss you”.

“False,” you pipe up, “We’ll miss you, Tooru-kun, but not terribly.” Hajime huffs in amusement and presses a kiss to the top of one of your hands. 

You love what the three of you have - they’re your best friends, and the fact that you get to kiss and cuddle with one of them only makes it better. 

(The curtains fall, and you run off the stage and into a bakery, asking for a milk bread - to appease Tooru, and also reassure him that they really do love him, you know how he can get insecure sometimes - and the free hot chocolate for couples.)

»»------------- ------------- ------------- ¤ ------------- ------------- -------------««

imma just be honest and say this is very self indulgent HAHA, i love the fake dating trope, i love food, and i love iwa so <3 here, have this 4k words long behemoth

my first ever haikyuu fic!! i’m aware there’s lots of room for improvement, and i’m open to feedback so ,, maybe hit up my inbox? 👉👈

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edit: if you’d like to be added to my taglist, please send me an ask!

[vendettacanons]

Some Fun Facts About Antony

// Because I did a bit of research to develop him a bit more after that IMDB discovery and then kept writing-

It’s not made clear exactly what rank Antony holds in relation to others in the Legion but I have a deduction based off of some research, Caesar based his empire off of Rome. Antony is a reference to Marc Antony- Caesar’s Master of the Horse. Despite the title, according to my research, his actual rank was leader of the Roman Calvary and his rank would have been comparable to or directly below Brutus- you know, Caesar’s military leader.

Carrying that over into Caesar’s Legion, if Caesar is, well, Caesar, then that would make Legate Lanius his equivalent of Brutus (seeing as Lanius is next in line to be crowned and also at the head of seemingly all military operations under Caesar). And since Marc Antony was head of the cavalry and therefore just below Brutus, and Legion Antony is a direct emulation of him, that would mean he’s directly beneath Lanius in rank.

Looking at the Legion’s hierarchy those directly below the Legate are the Praetorians, which I personally put in a class of their own with Caesar since they’re basically his bodyguards. However, as we see with Lucius, they do have their own specialties. Theoretically, this means that Antony could be a Praetorian. The only problem is, Praetorians specialize and fight in hand to hand combat only. And Antony does have a gun and a machete in his inventory (additionally he’s wearing Veteran Legionary armor).

So really, it seems like it boils down to Antony being the same rank as one of Caesar’s Frumentarii. He is not a Frumentarii, but he has equal standing with them on account of being in charge of the cavalry, and he answers only to Lanius, Caesar, and the Praetorians really.

Going off of that, and basing it off of historical references, this means that theoretically, if Lanius was killed as Caesar Antony could become Caesar. Let that sink in.

For someone who works with dogs all day and does hard labor training them, Antony’s remarkably very clean. He bathes fairly often and stays fresh as he can. The tent where he sleeps and works the rest of the day is... less so. It’s not terrible nor is it unbearable (for most people in the Legion at least), but it’s definitely not as well-kept as he is. Thanks, Lupa.

I mentioned previously that Antony does have a machete and gun on him that he can use but in my portrayal, he doesn’t nearly use it as much as he could. Nah, Antony would rather wrestle someone to the ground and choke them out or fist fight someone to the death if he has the chance. Hell, this man will bite you if you get close enough to him.

Antony, much like Lanius, has no love for the Legion, and his opinions of it are overall very mixed but predominantly very negative. He has a begrudging type of respect for Caesar and what he’s built. He also respects the people that follow him so blindly for their loyalty and their dedication. But in all actuality, Antony does not like Caesar, doesn’t truly believe in his cause, and indeed he wouldn’t stay loyal to him if it weren’t for one thing: Lanius. He despises and is terrified of Lanius. Everything he does for the Legion, he does because he’s scared of having Lanius thrown upon him as a punishment. He’s seen first-hand what the Legate is capable of. He’s witnessed and experienced his callous cruelty and it is something that he fears with every fiber of his being.

Which is why when Caesar dies, if Lanius takes over he’s defecting. Caesar is the only reason Lanius has not obliterated him completely, and even now when he thinks Antony’s dogs do a poor job, he’ll have his men throw them into flames live for their failures and make sure word gets back to him out of spite. (And yes, Antony can, has, and will silently cry himself to sleep every time he hears that news bc fuck Lanius, those things are his spirit animals.)

Antony has a weird push-and-pull relationship with fire. Campfires and matches don’t bother him. In fact, he actually finds controlled flames very interesting and mesmerizing to watch and will easily become distracted by light sources in the distance (especially in the dark) because he’s become so sensitive to them. But larger uncontrolled flames terrify him. Wildfires or the kinds of scorched earth-style fires Lanius sets to try and erase things from the earth are just so scary to him. He doesn’t know why.

If Antony does not like something and it’s too close to him, he will bite it or smack at it. And not just regularly open palm smacks either. He curves his fingers so his nails are out and will actually claw at the thing bothering him and break flesh because his nails are surprisingly tough and catch flesh easily.

Antony gets a lot of looks and a lot of whispers about him for being so much more focused on his dogs than his comrades at times. He doesn’t really care what people say to him or about him. Now saying something about his hounds will draw more of a reaction.

If you think Antony spins around three times before laying down, you’re not entirely wrong. He actually checks everything in his tent three times before laying down.

Antony has a very sharp sense of direction. He’s very good at memorizing certain landmarks to indicate where he’s at. He only needs to pass through an area once to commit it to memory.

Likewise he’s also good at remembering names and faces. He has a habit of studying people’s traits and features and has an easy time putting names to their quirks. On more than one occasion, he’s found himself identifying the bodies of his comrades that either no one else can name or no one else can recognize for varying reasons.

Antony’s not the strongest swimmer but he makes up for it by being able to hold his breath longer than most. He can doggy-paddle and dive very well. It’s the coming back to the surface part that he has yet to master. Luckily, he’s learned that if he just holds still the air in his lungs will eventually cause him to float up to the surface.

He’s not great at climbing either. Lacks the balance and grip for it. Plus he get nauseated from being up high. He’s fine so long as he doesn’t look straight down. The problem is, Antony often gives into the temptation to look straight down.

Honestly, Antony is probably best on foot. He might not be as meaty as some of the other Legionaries, but he’s still a tough little bastard and his size gives him a remarkable advantage for being fast and agile. It’s harder to land a hit on him than you think, and even if you do, he tends to shrug it off and keep going. That’s not to mention Antony is hard to sneak up on.

Antony is a very alert person. Don’t let his odd demeanor or tendency to linger alone fool you. Tying into his memory, Antony has a habit of looking over his surroundings often. He counts the number of people around him and makes notes often of where they are. He also takes note of where things are (weapons or vantage points in particular), where sounds are coming from, and what is making them. He’ll notice if someone disappears or something suddenly starts or stops very quickly. The drawback to this is that his focus is immediately broken when he does... well, anything. And it kind of shows in conversation when he is not paying all of his attention. It’ll seem like he’s unfocused or spacing out. Luckily this is rare, as he was raised with some respect.

Whatever Antony doesn’t detect, Lupa and his dogs will.

Antony carries on some of the practices of his tribe in a secret. The Legion may boast that they assimilated him, but he refuses to let Caesar erase the Hangdogs completely. Especially because his old practices are something he clings to for comfort and security, just as much as he does his dogs.

Another cool thing about Antony is his ability to track things. Like seriously, this man could track a stray nightstalker pup across the Mojave. It’s not just because of his hounds either- Antony is great at picking up on tracks and footprints, determining how long they’ve been there, and following them. He can do it for days. He’d make a good Frumentarii for the fact that he can just go for weeks at a time tracking and following something undetected, studying its patterns and habits, and strategizing where the best opportunity to strike will arise. It’s because a part of the Hangdogs tradition was knowing how to hunt for yourself and survive on your own. If you could do that, then your dog would only make you more powerful. (They wanted you to have a symbiotic relationship with your sacred hound, not be completely dependent on it.)

For someone so good at keeping tabs on things and tracking things and being fairly decent in combat, you’d really think Antony is a well-rounded Legion soldier. But you’d be wrong. This man cashed out on luck and is only subpar on intellect. He’s only average intelligence but with how clumsy and ditzy he can be sometimes, it’ll leave you wondering if that’s the truth. And sometimes the things that come out of his mouth or the way he phrases them makes it hard to believe his Charisma is anything above a 2 (in actuality its a 5 but he hardly talks like it so-).

Antony is more emotional than most men of the Legion. He tends to think with his heart rather than his head sometimes (see: predominantly) and speaks out based on how he feels rather than what’s logical without saying it. (Ex: if something seems unfair or makes him angry, he’ll convey that without actually saying that he’s upset and simply try to intervene.) It also drives him to be a bit more interactive with others, especially if they’re distressed. His lack of experience leaves him a bit awkward about it, but he’ll do his best to comfort people and is actually pretty good at it.

Likewise, Antony’s strong emotions and quick-to-judge nature cause him to develop equally strong opinions of people fairly quickly. For example, he quickly began hating Lanius.

Antony has a tendency to throw his weight when he sits or lays down. Just a full body flop.

Antony doesn’t like having his hair touch unless it’s by someone he cares about. In which case, he loves having his hair touched. He loves being touched in general. He’s touch starved and very physically affectionate. He’s also big on giving gifts.

Antony knows how to carve wood and is fairly good at sculpting. He never gets to do it though.

He’s also fairly good at tanning, smithing, and sewing, and prefers to repair his own armor when it gets damaged. (And yes, he has tried making armor for his dogs.)

Antony has several tics that he does. He bounces his leg, taps his foot, curls and uncurls his fingers, cracks his knuckles and his neck a lot, taps his cheek or chin with his fingers, bites his nails, and tends to pace a lot. It’s not just when he’s nervous either. He just happens to do it a lot. Mans has too much energy.

Antony loves food. He knows how to cook a lot of things from his old tribe and cooks for himself mostly. Bring him ingredients and ask him to make you something new and he will love you forever.

Tying into that, Antony always has food and drink on him. Always. Like it is astonishing the ways in which he stores food and how much of it he can carry on him at a given time without anyone even knowing. It’s not like he has a super huge appetite either. Antony easily survives on just one or two meals a day.

Antony does have a regiment he follows in terms of walking his dogs. He wakes up early to go for walks out in the desert, gives them a small breakfast, trains the whole day, breaks for a walk or two, goes for one long walk by the river to drink and then take them out into the desert again, then returns them to the camp. He savors it too. He doesn’t like the feeling of being cooped up for too long. He prefers to be outside more.

Antony has a soft spot for children. So do his dogs.

Antony never took any slaves. He, like many who were brought into the Legion, could not bear the thought of taking any slave knowing that they could be one of his sisters or brothers. 

He might not seem like he ever runs out of energy but he does, and when the batteries are finally empty, Antony crashes. Hard.

For someone so tough and so brutish, Antony sure is good at giving puppy eyes.

Antony has jokes. Lots of them. They’re mostly stupid puns. And pranks if he feels close enough with someone.

[notmoreflippingelves]

The Case for Kristoph Gavin as a Shakespearean Tragic Hero/ Anti-villain (Pt 1: Iago, Richard III & Edmund)

So, as I former English major, I’ve been trying to put my finger on why exactly Ace Attorney’s Kristoph Gavin makes such a compelling character. And when I made an allusion to Othello in a Kriswright fic I’m writing, I suddenly came irrevocably to a stunning realization. 

Kristoph Gavin is a fantastic villain, because he was written in the mold of a great Shakespearean antagonist--complex, conflicted, and dripping in delicious ambiguity. Not only that but there are some pretty AMAZING parallels between character motivations and arcs of some of the most memorable Shakespearean villains/tragic heroes and Kristoph. 

(I’ve  decided to break the analysis into two parts, cause this part alone is WAY too long (So long I didn’t even get to all of my feelings about Kris as Brutus from Julius Caesar yet..)This part is for Iago, Richard III & Edmund the Bastard,  the three characters who are constantly vying with each other for the title of “most EVUL character in  all of Shakespeare.” Whereas in Part 2, I plan to focus on the more sympathetic antagonists ( including BRUTUS! I Can’t wait! It’s my favorite set of parallels. ) 

But enough intro, let’s jump into some analysis. (YAY!!!) I’m putting this under the cut, because  as I said it’s LONG.

Kristoph as Iago-- Okay, let’s tackle the giant elephant in the room first, shall we? The parallels are so glaring . (This parallel is kind of boring compared to the other two cause it’s so obvious. But it’s important to cover anyway.)

So we have Kristoph and we have Othello’s Iago. Two-faced “Big Bad friends” driven by envy to ruin another’s life.  One slightly surprising l thing that I’d  forgotten at first is that one of Iago’s proposed motivations is--like Kristoph’s-- thwarted professional ambition. Like Kristoph with the Gramarye case, Iago loses out on a job opportunity and decides to ruin the lives of those who passed him over.

 There’s also the VERY common scholarly interpretation that Iago is also driven at least in part by toxic love of/ excessive lust for Othello (It’s especially blatant in the Kenneth Branagh’s portrayal). One can definitely see a similar interpretation of Kristoph’s “friendship” with Phoenix--either  in a “if I can’t have you, no one will” way or  in “I will deliberately and methodically destroy everything you love until I’m the only the only thing left. Then, you’ll have to choose me” way. 

But there’s also hints that Iago could have mixed motives, completely different motives, or even no motive  at all. Now who does that remind me of? Kristoph “you’ll never break my five black psyche-locks”--Gavin. 

“Determined to be a villain”--Kristoph, Richard, and Edmund intro - When it comes to their motivations,  King Lear’s Edmund and Richard III are remarkably similar characters to each other  in terms of their motivations--even if their methods/results differ somewhat. So I’m gonna talk about their motivations together for a bit  before I talk about Kristoph parallels in terms of individual character arcs. 

Both  King Lear’s Edmund and Richard III are victims of a world that they believe had left them no other choice but villainy (Edmund because he was born illegitimately and Richard because he was born with multiple physical deformities)  When Richard III says that great line in his opening soliloquy  “I am determined to prove a villain,” he doesn’t mean  “I’m so excited about the fun evil I’m gonna do. Yay! YOLO.” (At least, he doesn’t mean ONLY that.)

“Determined” is actually part of  the verb in this sentence, not the adjective.If you tweak the  sentence structure to match how we’d express this in 21st century English, you can see that Richard is actually referring to himself as a passive subject: “I have been determined a villain by _______.” There’s an invisible indirect object there--the one that Richard believes has forced his hand: fate, his birth, his looks, divine judgement, or something else entirely. (Edmund also has a very similar monologue about how “nature” has made him a villain because of the circumstances of his birth but not gonna dive too deeply into that rn.)

Okay, so during that time and place, illegitimate children and those w/ physical disabilities thought they had little control over free will/personal morality. Makes sense. But how does Kristoph come into this? 

Well, he might if he had a serious mental illness instead. I have seen plausible cases being made for a Kristoph with PTSD (due to unexplained trauma suggested by his black psyche locks), anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, OCD, and/or paranoia. Any one of these could make someone believe that the dice are stacked against them and that the only way to enjoy success/happiness is to take drastic action to ensure it. 

Of course, none of the above excuses or justifies any of what Richard, Edmund, or Kristoph do in their respective arcs. It just makes it easier to understand why they might do those things.

Now we’re gonna look at Richard and Edmund respectively and compare their specific parallels with Kristoph. 

Kristoph as Richard the III:

 So the most obvious parallel between Richard and Kristoph is a visual one. During his final break down, Kristoph hunches over in a way reminscient of someone--who like Richard--has  scoliosis. There’s also the creepy spasm on his face when he loses his cool, which does give him a very Richard-esque look. 

In terms of parallels in their actual arcs, Kristoph may not have murdered his two nephews  like tricky King Dicky does but his poisoning of Vera Misham does show that he--like Richard-- is willing to hurt a child if said child threatens his ambition. 

 And one more little thing: Kristoph like Richard (and also like Edmund who’ll we will get to in a second) does have a magnetic personality which he uses to charm the pants off his would-be enemies. 

The biggest example of that is when he is somehow able to convince Lady Anne to marry him- while standing next to the body of her of her dead father-in--law whom Richard himself killed alongside her husband too! 

Kristoph may have not done anything quite that twisted, but “befriending” a man whose life he personally ruined is definitely Richard III-esque--especially if one believes that Kristoph also has a sexual/romantic interest in Phoenix and/or that their “friendship”  had a physical, non-platonic component to it. 

Kristoph as Edmund the Bastard:

And now for the grand finale. Edmund you magnificent bastard (literally as well as figuratively). I cannot believe I nearly missed this particular parallel. It’s just... stunning.  

So, the main b-plot of King Lear involves the rivalry between two brothers--Edgar the legitimate son and Edmund the other one. Edgar is impulsive and hot-headed with a insightful, sometimes caustic sense of humor, whereas Edgar is cold, collected and quietly compelling.  (Does this remind y’all of a certain pair of lawyer siblings yet? Hmm... Just wait.)

Just like in AJ, the conflict between the brothers in Lear reaches a breaking point due to...get this.. a forged document. (Le gasp! Is it really so? What a freaky coincidence. Yeah that was my thought too!) 

So, Edmund writes a fake letter from “his brother” that alleges he’s plotting to overthrow their father and then hands the letter over to dear old Dad who exiles Edgar which kicks off the plot. 

But wait, you say? Phoenix was the one Kristoph ruined w/ the forged document, not Klavier, and you’d be right about that mostly. If you actually look at the timeline carefully, you’ll see that Kristoph ordering the forgery pre-dates his being fired as  Zak Gramarye’s  attorney. And as others have pointed out , there’s only one reason why he might do that.  

Kristoph was planning to use the fake diary page himself in court and present “indisputably compelling” fake evidence to get his client off. He was gonna use this forgery against his own brother, just to ensure he got what he wanted. Just like Edmund... (*mind blown*)

It’s only after he’s fired as Zak’s lawyer that Kristoph switches his animosity to Phoenix, setting him up to take the fall, because a Gavin court victory is still more valuable than that of a nobody--even if the wrong Gavin has to win the day. 

So yeah...that’s all she wrote so far. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pull my Claudius and Brutus thoughts together soon for a follow up.

[samspicturesandwords]

Next Assassin’s Creed Game

Predictions about the next Assassin’s Creed game

(Please note that I am not a journalist and I have no insider info about the Assassin’s Creed series or Ubisoft. This is all speculation for fun. Also, FYI this is not a history paper! I am looking up some facts and dates, but also just discussing things I’ve read and heard before and am hoping I’ve remembered correctly. Don’t take this as a good source of history. I apologize for any mistakes this post may contain and encourage you to do your own research into the topics mentioned if you’re interested in them. Sources I consulted for the history I discuss here include Encyclopedia Britannica and Wikipedia.)

It’s a safe bet that the Assassin’s creed series will be around for a while yet, but what’s less certain is the form that the next installment will take. It has long been rumored that there will be title set in ancient Rome, and it seems likely that the next release will be exactly that – Rome would be a nice way to close out a loose “trilogy” of games set in the classical/Hellenistic Mediterranean after Egypt and Greece. But the history of Rome is long and complex.

In early times, Rome was a kingdom; it then became a republic from 509 BCE to 27 BCE, and then an empire that stood until the late 400s AD (in the west – the eastern half survived much longer). The period between the traditional date of the city’s founding in 753 BCE and the fall of the western part of the empire around 476-480 covers more than 1,200 years, and though the empire is long gone, Rome itself still remains, a beautiful and remarkable city I have had the pleasure of visiting. Obviously, a lot changed over more than one thousand years of Roman history, and saying that a game is set in Rome or the Roman Empire would be quite vague, so I’ll attempt to narrow it down.

I once thought that an Assassin’s Creed game set in ancient Rome would likely make Julius Caesar the main antagonist, because (spoilers for Origins and for real history!) he was famously assassinated after becoming something of an autocrat in what was supposed to be a republic. In Brotherhood, players can find the armor and writings of Brutus, one of the conspirators who killed Caesar. It could be fun to play as Brutus, or, as I suspected, to at least have him as a major character, as a way to tie the game to Ezio’s story. However, as those of us who have played Origins know, Caesar is assassinated by Aya at the end of that game, so it would make little sense to re-visit that exact time period since Caesar has already been used as an antagonist.

What if we look back further in history? My best guess now is that an Assassin’s Creed game set in Rome will take place during the second Punic war, which raged from 218-201 BCE. It was a particularly fierce and dramatic conflict fought between Rome and Carthage, a state founded by in north Africa by Phoenicians. Rome had defeated them once before – we are talking about the second Punic war here after all. Although their earlier loss had undoubtedly weakened Carthage, by the time of the second war with Rome they were still formidable.

While there may be no Romans from this period who are as famous to us today as some later emperors are, this is the war Hannibal Barca fought in. Most of you have probably at least heard of his daring invasion of Italy, in which he and his army, including elephants, crossed the Alps to attack the Romans from the north. Hannibal was a great military leader and has a lot of name recognition (more than Scipio Africanus does these days at least). Imagine fighting an army of Phoenician soldiers, their ranks bolstered by northern “Barbarians” who had joined the cause, and by a bunch of elephants. Elephants were already present as optional bosses in Origins, but imagine if they were integrated into field battles like the conquest battles of Odyssey. Historically, Hannibal had a fairly limited number of elephants at his disposal during his invasion, but they could appear as occasional bosses during story missions.

The Battle of Cannae, in particular, is one of the most famous battles in all of history and saw Hannibal defeat a larger Roman force. It could be a spectacular set piece.

One strike against my theory is that some prominent works of Roman architecture, like the Coliseum, were built after this time period, and would therefore have to be omitted if any semblance of historical accuracy was being observed. Then again, many of us already climbed the Coliseum and the Pantheon as Ezio in the Renaissance and wouldn’t miss them too much if they don’t show up in this game.

What would gameplay be like in this setting? Well, probably similar to the last two games in many respects. One way they could differentiate melee combat could be to re-introduce shields, which were present in Origins and absent (for the player character at least) in Odyssey. Shields were very important to Roman infantry (though as Blue from Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube has pointed out in his video “Historical Realism Review: Assassin's Creed Odyssey,” shields are an odd omission in that game, so who knows). The Romans also made use of javelins – could they be integrated, perhaps having higher damage than bows but also a shorter range?

Speaking of Blue from OSP, in the same video he mentions that it was unrealistic to see Greeks fighting in a disorganized melee when they actually relied so heavily on the phalanx formation. He said that he wished the game had been able to “bridge the gap” between a rigid formation and a “Battle royale.” In the unrelated game “Ryse: Son of Rome,” battles are split between sections in formation and sections of free-for-all fighting on your own. The latter type of gameplay is by far more common, but there are a few points at which the player character forms up with other soldiers and commands them to advance, brace behind shields to withstand incoming arrows, or throw javelins. An Assassin’s Creed game could do something similar, with some story missions embedding the player within a formation of soldiers and controlling them as a unit. This type of combat would likely be less engaging than the freer one-person army whirling through the battlefield, but it could be used occasionally in story missions to show a more realistic version of combat tactics at the time and to change up the pace of gameplay.

Naval combat could return with a twist: why not give the player’s ship a corvus? This Roman innovation is a type of spiked drawbridge that could be swung down onto a nearby enemy ship, allowing the Roman infantry to storm across and capture the vessel rather than destroy it. Historically, the Romans used the corvus in the first Punic war and it fell out of favour before the time we’re examining, but it is historically possible that at least the player’s ship could make use of this existing technology. Then naval battles could become deeper (no pun intended): players could decide whether to ram an enemy vessel or set it ablaze with flaming arrows, or attach the ships and engage in melee combat. Boarding already exists in Assassin’s Creed games, but the corvus could be a way to differentiate boarding a ship from destroying it. In Odyssey, boarding was only possible once a ship had been disabled and was nearly sinking from battle damage. What if in the next game, ramming or burning an enemy vessel would destroy it, while using the corvus would allow it to be not only boarded and raided, but captured? Troops on board your ship could be a resource, expended to board and subsequently sail enemy ships. I can imagine a system in which it was possible to capture enemy ships during battle, have your soldiers take control of them, and then have those ships assist you as AI companions. Maybe only one or two ships could be taken over before you run out of troops, and maybe they’d only assist until the battle was over, or perhaps they’d have to be manually dismissed to regain your full count of troops onboard your own ship. I think this would add a new dimension to naval combat.

The nation struggle system is likely to return, especially if the game is set during a period of intense warfare. I have written the preceding sections under the assumption that the player character would be on the Roman side. I do not know, of course, if the player character would be loyal to one side or the other, and if so, to which. I hope that they will fight for one side, because being a mercenary with no allegiance or real moral code irritated me in Odyssey. I feel that if the protagonist is loyal to one side, it will likely be Rome, partly because Rome would actually feel like the underdog in this conflict in which their territory is invaded, and partly because of Eurocentrism and the greater pop-culture familiarity with Rome compared to Carthage. Maybe we’d even go back to a system with two playable characters, like in Syndicate, but this time with one on each side of the conflict, but that might be too complicated to implement.

And now, just for fun, what could the title for this hypothetical Roman Assassin’s Creed game be? I’ve seen “Assassin’s Creed Legion” floated as a possibility by someone online. I also think that “Empire,” the rumoured title of Origins, could be appropriate. What do you think?

Again, I only looked up a few things here (and hoped I’m remembering the rest correctly), so I apologize if I’ve gotten some historical facts wrong. I mean, I’m just spitballing about what a video game might be, I’m not doing much research. Thanks for taking the time to read. I’d love to hear your theories and hopes for the game as well!