#the next one focuses on Cole and Lilly's death

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

’Cause Daddy Doesn’t Love Me, Mommy is a God

it’s here!! Almost 3k words of Jay centric angst why do these keep getting longer. this is split into two scenes; one from Jay’s childhood, the other right before he becomes a ninja. warning for one instance of mild swearing, cross posted to ao3

~

Jay poked at his cereal sluggishly. It was the first day of term break and he was all alone in the house. Again. Dad had gone to work, he was pretty sure, and wouldn’t be back until night. The housekeeper and nanny, Ms. Peony, was at her daughter’s wedding this week. None of the other employees were here today either, meaning that Jay had the house all to himself.

Giving up on his cereal, which had begun to get soggy, Jay went upstairs to his room. For other people, the house may have been considered eerily quiet, but for Jay it was normal. The only sounds he could hear were his own footsteps and the air humidifier. Gurgle. Gurgle. Gurgle.

Jay looked over his comic book collection. He had quite a few, ranging from Fritz Donnegan to Spider-Man to Wonder Woman. None of them seemed particularly interesting right now, though. Not even the Fritz Donnegan ones, which were his favourite. 

Maybe I can draw something, he thought. Pulling out some colour pencils and paper, Jay quickly sketched out a dragon. He liked dragons. Cole’s mom had told them stories about them. The dragon he’d drawn was blue, with yellow stripes and fire coming out of its mouth. Pretty cool, in his opinion. Maybe Dad could hang it up on the fridge. 

Speaking of Dad, Jay missed him. It was just the two of them when Jay was little, and now he was always busy. Jay missed when they would curl up on the couch with popcorn and watch a silly movie together.

Shaking his head to snap out of the old memories, Jay picked up another sheet of paper. Thinking about the past wouldn’t change the present. He went to go get the markers — he wasn’t technically allowed to use them, but they were needed for his new drawing.

Uncapping the orange marker lead him to realise it was dried out. He tried the red one instead, getting the same results. A third test showed that all the markers were likely dried and unusable. 

Great. Now he really had nothing to do. It seemed too early for TV, and he didn’t want to bother plugging in the video games. Oh, wait! There was a landline in the house. Jay wasn’t entirely sure how to use it, but maybe he could call Cole. Cole was always good company. 

Marching down the stairs now that he had renewed purpose, Jay found the landline and tried to remember Cole’s number. It wasn’t technically his, much like how the number Jay had given him wasn’t actually Jay’s, but it would contact Cole. 

Punching in the numbers, Jay watched the phone ring. Someone picked up on the fourth one. “Hello?” That someone said. It was Cole’s mom. 

“Hi, Mrs. Hence, it’s Jay,” Jay started. “I’m looking for Cole?”

“Oh, I’m afraid he’s not here right now,” 

Jay felt a pang of disappointment at that. “That’s alright. Thanks,” he hung up before Mrs. Hence could respond. It was rude, Jay knew, but he did it anyway. 

Now what could he do? It wasn’t even lunch yet, and Dad wouldn’t be back until after dinner. Jay had no one to talk to for the entire day.

Maybe a nap was the solution, Jay decided. Mrs. Chan, his old babysitter, had often said that sleeping helped pass the time. Though he wasn’t sure if that applied to kids, or just grown-ups.

It was worth a shot. Jay went back to his room, Spider-Man crawling up the stairs, and jumped onto the bed. His blankets were still rumpled from the morning, his stuffed animals shoved into the corner.

Jay closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It was harder than expected. The light kept shining into his eyes. Groaning, he pulled the blanket over his head, trapping himself in darkness. Much better, Jay thought. 

He woke up at about five in the afternoon, well past lunch but still before his dad would return. Jay rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and dragged himself out of bed. Mrs. Chan had been right. Now, time to get a late lunch (did it still count as lunch?) and some water. 

After a quick snack of potato chips and chocolate, Jay was feeling much better. Junk food was always good for energy, and Dad would (hopefully) be home by 9:00. He could watch movies until then. 

Turning on the television and scrolling through Netflix, Jay found that there weren’t a lot of movies he wanted to watch. Giving a brief shudder at Coraline, he eventually clicked on Into the Spider-verse. It was a good enough movie.

One movie marathon later, it was already seven o’clock. Jay went to the pantry and grabbed some instant ramen as dinner — perhaps not the healthiest, but definitely tasty.

It was getting dark, now. Soon it would be completely pitch black. Jay hoped that Dad got home before that. He didn’t like staying at home alone during the night. 

Jay slurped up the rest of his dinner and put the bowl in the sink. He’d deal with that later, right now he wanted to play with his action figures. 

Fritz Donnegan lands on the ground, sticking a perfect landing. “No sign of any ambush,” he says. “I’m going to look around, stay on guard.” He takes a step forward, and then— 

Downstairs, the front door slammed closed. Jay looked up at the sudden noise, and jumped to his feet upon realising that his dad was home. 

“Dad!” Jay ran into his father’s arms, hugging him as tightly as a nine-year-old could. 

“Hello, Jay,” Dad said. He pried Jay’s arms off himself. 

Jay tried not to let that sting. “I drew a picture for you!” He exclaimed. 

“Mhm,”

“Don’t you want to see it?”

Dad sighed. “Not right now, Jay.”

“Okay,” Jay said. “I’ve already had dinner, so there’s no need to cook for me,”

“That’s good,”

“I called Cole, too, but he wasn’t there. I did watch a movie, though. It was fun!”

“I need to shower and eat, Jay,” and oh, that was Dad’s ‘I’m Getting Tired and You Need to be Quiet’ voice. “You should go to bed now,”

“Okay,” Jay ran back upstairs. He hadn’t even gotten to show Dad his dragon picture. 

~

Jay looked up at the mansion he called home and frowned. Dad was considering sending him to boarding school after all the trouble he’d been getting into. “It wasn’t my fault,” Jay had screamed last night. Dad had started yelling, and he hadn’t wanted to deal with it anymore. Jay had stormed out the door and didn’t come back until Dad was asleep. 

No one was home right now, so Jay let himself in. Dad was still out with his girlfriend, Amanda. Yet another woman who treated Jay like he was rubbish, or pretended like he didn’t exist. After all, nobody wanted to deal with the illegitimate son of Cliff Gordon, Jay thought bitterly. Nobody except Cole, and he’d been gone for years by now.

Kicking off his shoes and shoving them in the hallway closet, Jay went to his room and collapsed on the ground. He didn’t bother locking the door. Dad would be out all night. 

Scrolling through his phone showed nothing of interest. There was a new trailer for some action movie, but it wasn’t like Jay had anyone to go see it with. Also, Jay didn’t want to see anything with his dad’s face in it.

Hmm. Jay’s thoughts drifted to the makeshift hang glider shoved up in the attic. It was one of the results from his venture into DIY-ing. (Not that Jay didn’t do inventing anymore, just that it was one of the earlier projects.)

“Where are you?” Jay muttered to himself as he dug through the attic. It was shoved full of old trinkets and boxes. None of them seemed to be labelled. So far he’d found two boxes of old books and papers, five boxes of assorted junk, and one box of family photos. But no hang glider.

He squeezed past another crumbling box of who-knows-what and threw aside an old lamp. Jay figured it was yet another priceless antique that had been left to rot, much like the other twelve pieces of junk he’d found so far.

His efforts were finally rewarded when he found the hang glider dumped into a corner. Picking it up and shaking the dust away revealed that it was (mostly) in good condition. Now to get it out of the attic and to a good hang gliding place. Doing his best to fold it up, Jay dragged the hang glider though mountains of boxes and down the stairs. Huffing and sweaty, he glared at it.

“You’re a lot more trouble than I expected,” he said. “This better be a fun activity,”

Getting the hang glider into his car proved easier than finding it. The trunk was just barely big enough to fit it. Jay wasn’t technically allowed to drive, but Ninjago City wasn’t known for good law enforcement anyway. 

The commute took just over an hour — enough time for Jay to finish the podcast he’d been listening to. 

“Ugh, finally,” he muttered as he parked the car in place. Dragging the hang glider out, Jay found the nearest skyscraper and climbed up. He got strange looks for it, and it was a weird sight to see a teenager with what was essentially an oversized kite, but he managed.

The building he’d chosen was a good spot for hang gliding. With lots of other buildings around it, Jay had a much better chance of not falling to his death and landing safely on another rooftop. Sure, it was probably illegal, but no one would notice. Hopefully. Jay really hadn’t thought this through. 

Well, too late to back out now. Jay spread the glider’s wings, checked to make sure he was fully strapped in, and jumped.

It was exhilarating for the first few seconds, but Jay quickly found that the rest of it was terrible. The glider worked — he had gotten a smooth takeoff, and he wasn’t falling to his death, but Jay should have realised the billboards scattered around were a hazard. He crashed into one with about as much grace as a manatee and collapsed. The world was swirling. Jay bet that if anyone could see him, they’d see birds flying around his head. 

“Well, isn’t this an interesting sight?” A voice startled Jay out of his dizziness. 

“Wh— huh?” Jay looked up, head still spinning, to see an old man sitting calmly and drinking tea. 

“Who are you?” He blurted, then realised that was probably rude. 

The old man didn’t seem offended. “A dreamer, like you,” he said. 

Jay resisted the urge to call the old man crazy and run away screaming. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You may call me Wu. I’ve been waiting for you for a while,”

“What are you, some kinda stalker?” Jay narrowed his eyes. 

“No, nothing like that. I want to offer you an opportunity,”

“An opportunity?” Jay parroted. 

“Yes. There is a dark force rising, and I cannot stop it on my own. You have great potential. I want to train you in the ways of spinjitsu,”

“I don’t— what?” Jay’s head spun from all the new information. Or maybe that was the probable concussion. 

“You have potential you are not aware of, and I can help you unlock it,” Wu sipped his tea. 

“What’s this ‘spinjitsu’ gig going to involve? I wanna know what I’m getting into,”

“You would be able to help people. And the world could very much depend on you,”

Do it, something in Jay whispered. He took a breath and put a determined look on his face. “I’ll do it,” he said carefully, “but I need to pack first. And I can’t just run off without telling anyone,”

Wu nodded. “Of course. Meet me here tomorrow at sunrise, and we will start your training,”

“Yeah, sure,”

Wu smiled, picked up his teapot, and walked to the side of the building. When Jay blinked, he had vanished. Stupid cryptid old man and his stupid cryptic messages. 

Jay left the remains of his glider on the rooftop. It was unsalvageable, and Jay figured that he wouldn’t have a use for it anymore. He found his car, shoved the parking ticket into his pocket, and drove home.

The house had lights on when he returned — that wasn’t a good sign. It meant that Dad was back, which meant the argument from yesterday would start again. Great. 

Jay opened the door as quietly as he could, cringing at the creaky noises it made. You would think a multimillionaire celebrity could afford to oil his door hinges, but apparently not. 

Dad was standing in the main hall when Jay turned around.

“Where have you been?” He snapped. “I’ve been waiting for over an hour now.”

Jay scowled and looked at his dad angrily. “I was out.”

“Out doing what? I grounded you,”

“Doing stuff,” 

“You are grounded. You’re not allowed to leave this house.” Dad glared at Jay, but it had lost the intimidation factor years ago.

“Well, I did. And it’s not like you would’ve noticed,” Jay said that last part under his breath, but Dad still caught it. 

“Why wouldn’t I notice?”

“Because you’re never around! There! I said it! You’re never around, you don’t ever know where I am, you don’t care about me!” Jay exploded. “All you care about is your stupid career and fancy house,” Wow, where had all that come from? Jay wasn’t normally very vocal towards his dad. 

“Jason Edward Gordon! Go to your room and don’t look at me until you’ve apologised.” Dad glowered. 

“Well then, I guess I’m not gonna look at you ever again,” Jay spat. He marched up the stairs and slammed the door. 

Cursing under his breath, Jay stomped around the room and looked for his backpack. If he was going to become some sort of ass-kicking vigilante, he’d need supplies. 

Clothes. A couple pairs of socks. Water bottle. Headphones. Tablet. All these items were shoved into a duffel bag — the backpack wasn’t big enough. Though Jay was still bringing the backpack, because it was cool. 

He made a point to be as quiet as possible. Let Dad think he was sulking, when really he was plotting an escape. The old man Wu had said to meet at sunrise, but Jay would have had to pack even if he wasn’t running away, so it didn’t make a difference to do it early. 

Jay looked into his drawers for anything he might want to keep. There probably wouldn’t be any coming back after he left. He found multiple trinkets he’d bring — an old pocket knife, some notebooks, a portable charger. All of those would be useful. 

Digging even further led him to find an old bracelet. It was old and tattered, and the little star charm was banged up, but Jay remembered this bracelet. Cole had given it to him right before he got shipped to boarding school. Jay slipped it into his pocket. 

A bottle of lotion got thrown into the mess that was his bag too, along with a couple books. Jay left his phone. He didn’t want to get tracked, and he rather doubted Wu had Wi-Fi. 

Zipping up the duffle bag and shoving it under his bed proved easy enough. Jay thought about writing a note, but decided not to. Not like Dad would bother reading it. He fell into a dreamless sleep quickly. 

At exactly four o’clock in the morning, Jay’s alarm sounded. He didn’t normally wake up so early, but sacrifices had to be made if he wanted to get to Ninjago City before sunrise. He grabbed his duffle bag and crept down to the kitchen, planning to get a quick breakfast. He didn’t expect his dad to be sitting at the table. 

They made eye contact. Dad opened his mouth, clearly planning to ask what Jay was doing, so Jay spoke first. “I’m leaving,” he said. 

That seemed to stun Dad into silence. “What?” He finally croaked out, face a perfect mask of shock and confusion. 

“I’m leaving,” Jay repeated, “I don’t know if I’ll be back.”

“Why?” 

Jay shuffled his feet. This conversation had not been a part of his plan. “I got an offer,” he decided to say. “I was told that I have potential, and that I could unlock it,”

Dad rose to his feet. “Who?” He demanded. “Who told you that?”

“Just someone,” Jay shrugged.

Dad narrowed his eyes. “Was his name Wu?”

“I— yeah,” Jay admitted. 

“I should have known,” Dad sighed. “Your mother knew him. She always said that you’d have to make a choice, someday. I suppose this is that choice.”

“Mom knew him?”

“I don’t know all the details, but yes. You should go. I think we both need time alone, and it’ll be good for you. Just stay safe,”

“You don’t get to parent me after ten years of forgetting me,” Jay snapped. 

Dad looked at him with sad eyes. “I know,” he said. “I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. If you don’t come back, I understand.”

Jay thought back to his earliest memories. Their relationship hadn’t always been this strained — he could remember good times, with movie nights and silly dance parties and being tucked into bed with a kiss. But he couldn’t find the words to say all that, so instead he said, “I’ll tell you if stuff happens.” An inadequate response, but it would have to do. 

Dad nodded grimly. “You can take the car,”

Jay nodded back and took the keys. He walked out the door, started the car, and didn’t look back. He’d have to drive quickly if he wanted to make it by sunrise.