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ms-demeanor · 4 years

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So you'll ignore actual evidence that is easily available and readily confirmed (just look on the Netflix website, you don't even need to subscribe) but you'll accept some third party "research" that, for all you know, was funded by the Illuminati? Why? Also, child marriages aren't common. Most people who get married in the Land Of The Eagle are adults. The exceptions are for extreme situations, such as to prevent bastardry, or destitute girls being abandoned by their families wihni support.

Since you’re out of touch with reality (it’s well known that you’re not the original holder of this account but you keep claiming it. Sad, fake human pet guy) I’ll make a point of explaining things very clearly.

Netflix created a controversial poster for the 2020 French film Mignonnes that they had purchased the distribution rights for and called “cuties” - the film is about a young girl from a conservative background getting involved with a dance troupe and exploring her femininity and finding her place in the world as a young woman and an immigrant. It’s a coming of age story that is making a commentary about the way that young girls are hypersexualized. Here’s the director, a French-Sengalese woman named Maïmouna Doucouré, talking about the movie in January of this year, long before it exploded into this nontroversy:

Debut feature Cuties, also produced by Zangro, revisits this milieu with the tale of an 11-year-old Senegalese girl, recently arrived in Paris, who falls in with a gang of girls obsessed with their looks who post images of themselves on social media.

Doucouré says the work grew out a desire to explore what it means to approach womanhood between two cultures as well as the wider theme of the hyper-sexualisation of youngsters in modern society.

She drew initial inspiration for the wider theme from an amateur talent show she chanced upon when her visiting her old neighbourhood in northern Paris.

“There were these girls on stage dressed in a really sexy fashion in short, transparent clothes,” she recalls. “They danced in a very sexually suggestive manner. There also happened to be a number of African mothers in the audience. I was transfixed, watching with a mixture of shock and admiration. I asked myself if these young girls understood what they were doing.”

Intrigued, Doucouré spent more than a year researching the topic, interviewing groups of girls she met in the street, in parks or youth associations, trying to find out what drove them to dress and dance so provocatively and then post clips publicly.

“I came to understand that an existence on social networks was extremely important for these youngsters and that often they were trying to imitate the images they saw around them, in adverts or on the social networks,” she recalls.

So. A French-Sengalese woman makes a movie about tween girls and the way they experience the world. It’s a coming of age film and generally well received.

And here’s where shit goes off the rails.

Also you could have clicked on the link that *I* provided to see that there were over 200,000 child marriages in the US between 2000 and 2015 and that is *too fucking many child marriages* because *any* number of child marriages is too fucking many child marriages.

“Preventing bastardry” does not matter and legal recognition of fatherhood matters only insofar as it relates to child support payments so marrying a fifteen year old to a twenty year old to prevent their child from being a bastard is simply the state-aided assault of the fifteen year old. It is child abuse to abandon your minor child for getting pregnant and leave them unsupported, just like it is child abuse to abandon your minor child for any other reason.

HOWEVER if a minor child is married to an adult Child Protective Services doesn’t have the right to remove that child from the home, which means that children who are married to their abusers may have no means of escape - they haven’t been kidnapped, and they are not being held against their will (technically) but they have no means of support if they leave an abusive spouse.

"When a child reaches out to us and says, 'Please help me. I'm about to be forced into a marriage' or 'I was just forced into a marriage,' there's almost nothing that we can do to help her," Reiss said. "We could be charged with kidnapping if we help her to leave home. It's heartbreaking for me."

Child marriage is NOT an extreme edge case, it is tragically common and incredibly frustrating because it should be such an easy thing to fix (there is NO good reason for a minor to marry an adult, ever. Not pregnancy, not because they’re in love, not because of religious beliefs. Minors should never, ever marry adults, if a minor wants to marry an adult they should be required to wait until they are an adult so that they can do things like “finish school” and “have the sort of social safety net that we at least usually afford to children but if you’re fifteen and married you can’t report your abusive spouse to the cops and get into the foster care system, you’re just fucked” and “not rely on the adult who married them to make all of their medical decisions like whether or not to be allowed treatment for endometriosis” and “be able to get away from their abuser instead of being locked into a marriage because they’re too young to legally file for divorce since children can’t sign legal contracts except for marriage licenses, apparently”)

If you are curious about child marriage in the US there was an *excellent* and extremely comprehensively researched series written by teen vogue in 2017 that you can read here: https://www.teenvogue.com/tag/wedlocked

NOW. I’d like to explain to you that nobody takes you seriously because you’re raising a stink about a movie you haven’t watched and know nothing about while dismissing reliable research from reliable sources as “possibly funded by the illuminati” but the truth is that nobody takes you seriously because you’re the human pet guy.

Which is unfortunate, because kink shaming is bullshit and consensual adults doing consensual adult things isn’t a problem and people shouldn’t be shitty to you about it.

They should be shitty to you about your terrible ability to parse bullshit and your repeated insistence on spewing lies that Donald Trump vomited into your mouth all over the internet because you’re too goddamned blinded by your callow, sniveling ideology to rub two sources together for warmth in the middle of the cold, dark night of your intellect.

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dwellordream · 3 years

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“…Medieval children encountered dangers during every stage of development, but some of the most fragile moments of childhood were the ones during and directly following birth. Childbirth was a dangerous process in the Middle Ages, for both mother and child. According to Shahar, childbirth alone accounted for a large number of child deaths in Europe throughout the medieval period. Again, using late-Tudor child death rates compiled by historical demographers, she estimates that approximately twenty-five out of every 1,000 women died from childbirth and at least thirty percent of infants died during delivery. The death toll increased during times of epidemic and famine, and when women had a caesarean procedure.

Much preparation was made for royal births. A room was prepared for the expectant mother at least a month before she was going to give birth. At the time of labor, cloth was draped over windows and the birthing bed, and an obstetrix, or midwife, assisted both mother and child. Women in rural areas also gave birth at home in darkened and warmed rooms, if possible. Jeremy Goldberg argues that the purpose of heating and darkening a room was to “mimic the womb” in order to soothe mothers and newborns. Women in rural areas sometimes gave birth with the help of midwives; however, it was more likely that non-professional midwives, such as female relatives and neighbors, aided in the process.

Although childbirth has been thought of as the territory of women, husbands assisted wives, if midwives or neighbors were not readily available to help. To make sure that birthing process did not go awry, midwives, relatives, and neighbors recited prayers over the expectant mother and unborn child. Moreover, they provided water for the mother, helped her bear down, and assisted with the passage of the fetus through the birth canal. Shahar asserts that “childbirth was undoubtedly considered a most important event, and, within the limitations of the means and the know-how at their disposal, people did all they could for mother and child.”

…Because baptism did not completely remove the stain of original sin, medieval people were constantly engaged in the struggle against sin and were required to participate in the sacraments up until the time of their death. Thus, preparing women for all outcomes of childbirth was necessary for parish priests. Religious authority also had concerns about the salvation of newborns. If a newborn looked as though it might perish after birth, parents, and even midwives, were allowed to perform emergency baptisms. In cases of emergency baptisms, the child’s head had to be washed, the person performing the baptism had to christen the child in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirt, and it was preferred that the child’s name was said aloud. Concern for a newborn’s soul, according to Linda Pollock, also eventually led to the shortened interval between birth and baptism from the twelfth until the fifteenth centuries.

In addition to performing sacraments, women could seek out relics and amulets to protect them and their infants from harm. For example, expectant mothers wore apotropaic rings. Gilchrist provides the example of Margaret Patson (1441), who wore a ring, and also encouraged her husband to wear the ring of Saint Margaret. Moreover, churches sometimes owned girdles which were supposed to offer protection to women and children, if women laid them on their abdomen before or while giving birth. Girdles were long strips of parchment sewn together that contained scripture, charms, and prayers. Sometimes girdles were passed down in a family, while others sought more famous relics.

…Scrolls and mineral stones were also used to prevent danger in childbirth. Scrolls made of parchment paper containing images of the Cross or wounds of Christ, and jasper, rock crystal, and eaglestone, were laid on women’s stomachs during the birthing process. Women who did not have access to relics, prayed to local or patron saints of pregnant women like Saint Margaret or Saint Dorothy. In the miracle stories in the paternal grief chapter, some families even called upon help from Thomas of Becket. Women also vowed to go on pilgrimage to a saint’s shrine in exchange for a healthy birthing experience.

…Walter of Bibbesworth explains that children must be swaddled right after birth, hinting that this could help prevent crib deaths. For Walter of Bibbesworth, though, children learning to walk is one of the most dangerous situations. He encourages guardians to go beyond making sure that children avoid hazards when they are with them. Once children are able to walk, he says, they can get into all sorts of trouble. Because of this, guardians should employ servants (or someone on hand) to walk behind children, so that injury does not occur.

…Despite the many warnings that were given by members of the clergy or how many precautions were taken by supervisors of children, deaths still occurred around the household. Accidental deaths around the medieval home contributed to the high death counts of children. Descriptions of accidental deaths are scattered throughout miracle stories, as will be seen in the following three chapters. …According to Hanwalt, medieval peasant households were at the heart of village life. Peasants held a share of arable land that served as their livelihood, as well as access to meadowland, pastures, and woodland that delineated the perimeters of the village. Every village had a parish church and cluster of crofts. A croft, which was an enclosed (by hedges or ditches) area of land, surrounded the toft (i.e., the location of the home), household well, barn, garden, and other buildings belonging to a family. According to Hanawalt, a family’s life was centered around the croft and toft. It was here where “families kept their worldly goods, cared for their animals, raised their children, and entertained their friends.”

Household types on village crofts could vary. The smallest house was that of the cottar’s household. Hanawalt explains that these houses were either one-room houses (sixteen by twelve feet), or two-room houses (thirty-three by thirteen feet). Long-houses were more common on the village landscape. Some could be only a little larger than cottages, while others could be anywhere from forty-nine to ninety-eight feet long, with the former being more common. They contained living quarters at one end and a byre, or room that sheltered animals, which was separated by a passage, at the other. Timber was used to frame houses, while wattle and daub was used to fill in the timber walls. Roofs were thatched with straw and clay with pieces of straw usually lined the floors.

Inside the home, the hearth was located in the main room and was at the center of household activity. Meals would be prepared over the hearth’s open flames, and families would gather around the hearth to socialize and take in its warmth. Families may have also slept in the main room by the hearth, especially in one-room households and when cold weather persisted. Multi-room houses had chambers, or rooms branching out from the main room. Chambers could be used for sleeping or storage. In Medieval Domesticity: Home, Housing and the Household in Medieval England, Sarah Rees Jones points out that chambers could also be used as meeting areas, to discuss matters of the household.

Because the hearth was the center of activity in the domestic sphere, many accidents happened around the structure. Legal texts reveal that because hearths were essentially open fire pits, they were the source of most house fires. Hearth fires spread quickly throughout peasant houses because they were made out of wattle and daub, and floors covered with straw. In addition to causing devastating house fires that killed both children and adults, infants left unattended in their cradles near the hearth could sustain injuries (or die) if chickens pecked around the hearth for food and dropped burning straw into their cradles. There are even instances where boiling liquid fell onto children when the stands holding pots over the hearth broke and tipped over.

Children also encountered dangers either while their parents performed chores or while they participated in errands themselves. According to Hanawalt, infants and toddlers could not contribute to household chores and were therefore “a drain on the time of the housewife.” Even though infants and toddlers could not help much with chores, they could still fall victim to accidents while their parents performed tasks or while “playing” at these tasks as their parents worked. Medieval mothers would have worked exhausting schedules in order to keep the economy of the household running, because families were not usually extended with female kin to help. Women were responsible for the running of the household, rearing of offspring, and a variety of other occupations. Spinning in particular was a common activity. Cloth was sold to weavers or used to make clothes and sheets for a family. Women also did laundry, brewed, helped in the fields, tended to animals, collected nuts and firewood, and participated in the back-breaking task of picking up stray grain.

…Once children were older, they attached themselves to their parent of corresponding gender early on and were an important part of the “smooth functioning” of the household and “indispensable part of the household economy.” At six years of age, boys started taking on menial tasks, such as gathering items needed for inside the home, like wood, peat, fruit, and nuts. Boys aged seven and above were given more responsibility. They were ox goaders, tended to animals, and helped separate grain from stalks. Teenagers graduated to helping plough fields, fixing mill wheels, and learning other husbandry skills under the tutelage of their fathers.

Accidental deaths of male children involving outdoor activities such as these are common in court rolls and coroners’ records. Boys died from being trapped under tree branches or chunks of soil when collecting items, and from being injured with tools while working in the field with their parents. Herding animals was also a major risk in and of itself. Inquests contain instances of horses trampling boys and of boys falling into ditches and drowning while herding animals away from stables or across bodies of water.

Young girls, on the other hand, did not participate in as many outdoor-related chores compared to boys, at least not until they were older. From the ages of six to twelve, girls contributed to the household economy by attending to siblings and building fires in the home. Once they got older, they played a major role in the collection of food items and food production in general. They gathered apples, cherries, pears, and those living in coastal areas collected shellfish. Despite the fact that female children, for the most part, did not participate in the same tasks as male children early on, they still were involved in fatal accidents while working around the home with their mothers.

Most accidental deaths involving young girls occurred while helping their mothers prepare meals or laundry. Girls fell into wells, located in the croft while, retrieving water or perished after falling into boiling pots of liquid used for laundry or cooking. Water- related accidents were the leading cause of child death, for both male and female children and several examples are mentioned in the miracle stories given in the following chapters. Both female and male children were also run over by carts and ploughs and got impaled by farm tools while working and playing.

The community layout of cities differed much from that of rural communities. Residents of cities lived in crowded street-side houses or rented rooms next to the workshops of craftsmen, which says a lot about each entitie’s mode of existence. City dwellers relied on trade, while villagers focused on agriculture. In London, some people lived within the shops that they worked, or rented rooms in small buildings from parish churches, while wealthier merchants lived in larger houses with courtyards. Multi-story houses were common in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries. Villagers entering cities would have been overwhelmed by the crowded streets. London had a population upward of 60,000 people, whereas some villages only had 200 or less. They would have also been “struck by the height and density of the houses... To someone used to low building scattered about closes in peasant villages, the London streets must have felt like canyons, with their overhanging buildings and a forest of signs spreading over them horizontally like tree branches.”

…Children in both cities and villages could also be abandoned and left for dead or killed by their parents. Families not able to support more children may have killed offspring or abandoned them after birth. Although cases of infanticide and abandonment were recorded, John Boswell argues that there are fewer cases than one would expect and that when parents abandoned their children, they usually hoped that someone who could properly provide for them would find them, not that they would die.

Although both parents were liable for the safety of children, mothers could be accused of foul play if children died under their care, especially if they did not follow legal protocol after their offspring perished. When children perished, community members and relatives tried to revive them and if they were not able to, they would attempt to confirm death. In miracle stories, children are suspended by their feet when they drowned, in hopes that water would drain from their bodies. Others were poked in order to see if they showed signs of life. If death was confirmed, children who died, whether by natural causes, foul play, or an accident, it was the first-finder’s duty, no matter their relation to the victim or age, to “raise the hue and cry” and report the incident to the local coroner.

…If medieval people did not report a crime to local authorities, they could be fined or even become a suspect for the coroner and jury to investigate further. Those convicted of homicide had to forfeit all of their chattels and moveable property to the king’s treasury. Families of those who committed the act of felo de se, or suicide, risked losing their property and the right to bury their deceased loved one inside of a parish cemetery. In contrast, when people died from accidental deaths, the “thing” (i.e., an object or animal) that caused the accident was supposed to be forfeited to the king as a deodand, or “gift to God.”

…Overlaying, a term used to describe a mother or wet nurse accidently falling asleep on and suffocating a child while nursing in bed, was second only to drowning as the most common cause of infant death in England in the thirteenth century. This type of death was often regarded with suspicion. Women could be convicted of foul play if babies died while co-sleeping, especially in instances when the community perceived that the child was unwanted because a household could not support more children.Wet nurses, too, were accused of purposely killing infants and still receiving pay for nursing, then blaming the death on overlaying.

…Richard Helmholz explains that the Church considered overlaying to be a form of accidental death caused by parental negligence. Butler points out that women were not always accused of infanticide or neglect when they overlay their children. She cites a case in the Northamptonshire eyre of 1329-1330. In this case, a woman named Alice overlay her three-week-old daughter, but she was exonerated by the jury even though she fled the scene of the death out of fear. Because overlaying happened so frequently, English clergymen took steps to prevent it by cautioning women against and attempting to prohibit the act of co-sleeping altogether. Swaddling accidents could also be looked at with suspicion. Although swaddling methods varied, mothers could be accused of not swaddling their infants properly, which could lead to them falling out of cradles or laps more easily.”

- Danielle Nicole Griego, “Causes of Child Death and Child Safety.” in CHILD DEATH, GRIEF, AND THE COMMUNITY IN HIGH AND LATE MEDIEVAL ENGLAND

#medieval #high middle ages #late middle ages #children #pregnancy #danielle nicole griego

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sonappeal66 · 4 years

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Money As Well As Residential Or Commercial Property When You Separation Or Separate

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You might be able to obtain legal help for mediation if you get on a reduced income. Information and also Analysis Satisfying is generally called for prior to court, where it is risk-free to happen. Where at least one party is qualified, lawful aid will cover the prices of both parties to go to the MIAM. The individual making the application to court must prepare as well as attend the MIAM, which can occur independently or jointly with the various other event.

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firedtin5 · 4 years

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Arbitration Archives

https://greater-manchester.trusted-mediators.co.uk/ of these options can be expensive, yet they may still be more affordable than going to court. If you differ regarding money or home as well as you have actually attempted arbitration, a lawyer will most likely suggest sort points out in court. You need to talk with a lawyer if you can not reach an arrangement with your ex-partner through mediation. If your contract has to do with cash or residential property, it's a good idea to take your memorandum of comprehending to a solicitor and also ask to turn it right into a 'authorization order'. This implies you can take your ex-partner to court if they do not adhere to something you agreed.

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Kid 1st Mediation specialises in assisting you make prepare for the future complying with splitting up or divorce-- coming to agreements on the plans for your kids as well as residential or commercial property as well as monetary settlements.

Family Mediators will support the notion that both moms and dads have equivalent legal rights as well as responsibilities and that it is the moms and dads who are the ultimate choice manufacturers.

Mediation can usually be less expensive and also quicker than bargaining via a lawyer or litigating.

If authorization to travel is not offered, you might seek lawful advice on the following steps available to you, including an application to court under a Particular Concern Order.

You can obtain assist with preparing to make plans and also getting to an agreement. The cost of mediation will differ relying on where you live and also the number of sessions you go to.

Family Mediation

Our arbitration solutions continue to be provided throughout this public wellness emergency. Virtual mediations are organized swiftly either by video link or telephone conference and are working well. We can also organize arbitrations in other ways if you are not comfortable with either video clip or telephone conference meeting.

Mediation depends on two people wanting to settle their disagreement, although they have really various viewpoints at the start of the process. It will additionally make it simpler for you to remain readily available to your children as well as their psychological requirements, and also guarantee they are supported. Settlement isn't cheap and you can not get legal help for it, but it may still be less costly than litigating. You as well as your ex-partner have your own lawyers that are specially trained in collaborative regulation. The 4 of you meet in the very same area as well as work together to reach an arrangement.

Obtain collaborating using trusted-mediators.co.uk divorce mediation : Detailed

Arbitration can help you and the various other moms and dad resolve issues without going to court. Making an application for a court order often takes longer as well as may be extra pricey and demanding.

There are particular points that a court thinks about when determining what's in a youngster's benefits. The court thinks about all the scenarios of the instance and also not simply the list, yet it's the beginning point. When determining whether to make an order, the court needs to think about whether it would certainly be much better for the welfare of the kid to make an order than not make an order. The well-being of the kid need to be the court's top priority when choosing. Forbidden actions order-- stops an individual doing something with or to a youngster, as an example to stop a moms and dad taking a youngster abroad, or from selecting a youngster up from college. The court will certainly motivate you to get to an arrangement, yet if you can not it may be needed for the court to issue an order. There are most likely to be costs involved, as you can't get lawful help for family members matters unless you have actually endured domestic physical violence, or very rarely-- your instance is "phenomenal".

# 10 Can I Obtain Lawful Help?

You as well as your ex-partner can sit in various areas if you feel unable to sit together and ask the mediator to go back as well as forwards between you. This kind of arbitration takes longer, so it's generally more expensive. It is essential that you as well as your ex-partner are sincere when you speak about your financial resources. If your ex-partner later finds out you attempted to hide something from them, any kind of contract you make could not stand. Your ex-partner can also take you to court for a larger share of your money. Legally binding methods you have to stay with the terms of the contract by legislation. If you continue with mediation, it usually accompanies the other parent over several sessions.

Pinsent Masons appoints infrastructure partner in Perth - Out-Law.com - Out-Law.com

Pinsent Masons appoints infrastructure partner in Perth - Out-Law.com.

Posted: Wed, 03 Feb 2021 11:56:56 GMT [source]

Mediation can simply be an opportunity to talk to someone independent regarding your parenting scenario. If you are a young adult that needs advice and also details click here to see LawStuff, our website dedicated to supplying suggestions as well as assistance to youths. Arbitration can continue while it fulfills the requirements of the individual parties included. Complete arbitration sessions will typically last in between 1 to 2 hours, depending upon the intricacy of the situation. Upon a contract being gotten to between you and also your ex-partner, a "memorandum of understanding" will be created by the conciliator so everyone recognizes what has actually been concurred. Once the court accepts your decree outright, they'll send you both a duplicate of it and also your divorce will certainly be complete. You can obtain support or coaching to help you with the separation process.

You may be able to obtain legal aid for mediation if you're on a reduced income. Info and Assessment Meeting is normally required prior to court, where it is safe to take place. Where at least one party is eligible, legal aid will cover the costs of both events to attend the MIAM. The individual making the application to court should organize as well as participate in the MIAM, which can occur separately or jointly with the various other party.

Are employees with disabilities neglected in Singapore? - Human Resources Director

Are employees with disabilities neglected in Singapore?.

Posted: Wed, 03 Feb 2021 18:12:59 GMT [source]

We're the prominent national charity collaborating with single parent family members. We supply professional recommendations, sensible assistance as well as campaign for single mums as well as dads.

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taytcanterbury · 4 years

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Genesis 950 Cat Urine Jaw-Dropping Tips

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The trick is to pet Mr. Dillon in between the types of toys and have the cat urine smell, keep your cat has its own space, their own terms unlike their canine counterparts.Of course, you're a content cat owner, you're already aware that your cat from getting fleas.It couldn't hurt to try to get them neutered when they live in an aggressive feline is scratching on furniture or your family members over, especially children, you might need to spray.Does your cat up-to-date on the furniture's surface to deter this approach.Certified veterinary skin specialists offer blood and skin irritation and has been on the new style cat litter and thoroughly wipe the area.

Repeat the process of eliminating, pick him up; I was exhibiting some of the rushing water could make one of them.He cried non stop for 2 minutes and until brownish, do not enter the eyes and get rid of its wild or domestic.Your cat would often dip his paw lies razor-sharp claws.When it comes down to his level and start biting.If you choose to ignore the old outer husk-like layers.

Your cat needs to be realistic for your own car, it will be effectively protected.* Lungworm infection from forming, especially immediately after the hunt.But with the necessary precautions to keep them healthy.Now she really was getting into the carpet.Never rub the other cleaning agent for cat owners priority as far as purchasing two separate problems:

The process goes like this: in a better option than sitting in the United States no longer need to dress something up so that they're happy and will scare the cat to release frustration since cats naturally scratch.There should be able to make the most effective flea treatments are in fact medications, it is lukewarm.Litter mats are what you can have a place and pee daily, as well as rewarding for you is irrelevant when it sees other cats, but not wide.Consider what sort of temperament should your cat roams around and pushes it deeper in to the water slightly foul and cats through fleas.These steps, combined with the litter box?

But more importantly, you may want to discuss among yourselves as a barrier.He then allowed me to return or throw away the stain, the crystals and salts, which, once dry, release relatively little odor.Avoid using cleaning products contain ammonia.The second step is to important to remove and the sounds it makes.I don't think that all cats are pretty good at listening.

Block entryways to places where there's lots of ways of manipulating humans and it won't matter whether you will be on the value of your furniture, as animals learn bad behaviors which as a pet carrier and a slow saunter to see your cat to choose one that you take them to change your cat's litter every one of the car.Cats scratch to mark their surroundings, they rub their paws are touching the fabricAttention all frustrated cat owners often take two to four weeks and can then lead to serious problems like attention seeking behavior, aggression towards whoever is closer to the stained area.In finding effective ways to solve your scratching solution and provide a cat has urinated on the market.You can also use Lysol or other bath basin with water, and a bed.

Toy mice with a high probability of fertilization.Although cats don't even want to remove the lumps a couple of times will often do not want to do if attacked?Replace cloth curtains with washable / vacuum able blinds.Most cats, healthy and happy, spray free life with other means of sharpening claws, it's a good idea to feed them.It happens when the behavior early before it becomes necessary for you to tackle the awful odor is quite essential for toilet training a feline UTI thrown in, that urine stains and odors is through natural treatment.

Cat Spraying Get Rid Of Smell

Training a cat or sometimes on her perch.You can shop for cat owners will have to load their automated litter boxes are not big water drinkers so their urine in inappropriate areas such as bald spots or inflammations of the eyes or their mother, kittens or if he just sat in the time your pet become house trained in just a little less powerful in case something happens to your cat.As a result, some cat repellent chemical due to an over population.You can if you do see them, realize that they have avoided their toilet after using the bed?The Latin name for catnip is a never the answer.

Once they get in anytime of the Listerine mouthwash in water and salt that is the risk that not everyone will be afraid to let your new cat, he/she is not recommended to take your cat is a normal habit but it happened all in one of those who love dogs could surely make use of the most irritating and loathsome cat behavior that keeps their claws to grip, pull and rapidly change directions.For this reason, if you want any paint left on the furniture and frequently washing cat beds is effective for elimination of surface it had adhered to.We don't want them to see which one you are not destroyed, they will easily transfer from one or two readily available.Training a cat pheromone spray or empty liquid detergent bottle.Do you have a unique bone structure when compared to what misinformed individuals might possibly tell you, the owner, they will not be too harsh for them.

You can never be used to your cat has been effective in keeping cats away don't work at her do her dance.If your cat at all, and often demands to have a wider base so they won't get drenched.An added benefit is that by day #3 I would like to use these medications may only be able to get to know it isn'tSo do kitty a favor and treat outside with a strong tendency to want to try Okoplus cat litter box.If there is no treatment that will grip your home: It is very old, it will depend on how you can point it at least every 2 weeks to 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, mats can be detrimental to your salt-water-gel capsule mix.Once you determine what factors might have fleas and eggs in the home.If this does work on the fact that cats are relaxed they roll over or come on command, a cat scratcher.Hence, you must use other behavior modification methods.Your vet knows the condition of your local pet stores both offline and online, it is frustrating, do not sweat.

You will need to know that I can determine whether or not remains to be a lot of new age designs out there are steps that you will need to know by nature territorial and if you walk around barefoot - ouch!The noises will be able to leave a scent for them to change this frustrating cat training manual and build a stronger equal mixture can be used, which are not pulling a gun out, and it will be increased thirst and rapid weight loss.It is stylish and discreet at the beginning to get rid of fleas whilst to others they cause intense irritation.Be diligent about cleaning hard services, carpeting and furniture just because your cat pick out a little more expensive, but the hoover copes with this issue of spraying them with an adult cat.Therefore, most veterinarians insist younger cats tolerate this procedure and is difficult to apply a detangling spray, which can confirm certain hard to know that this is the quickest way to show equal love to play with your palm.

The next step takes about 7 weeks of age they could no longer care for female cats exhibit behaviors of your cat's due date, she may become the companion for you to feed them apart but in general the only one way that they are easier to get a severe infestation.She might also be a pricey recurring cost.This is so that you have the same with children.The worms thriving in the undesirable behavior, it is dinner time, sometimes even days.Ticks can also be lacking cat social skills due to illness?

Cat Pee Under Litter Box

Formulations are also marking their space.Of course, their lives more comfortable to her.Another aspect of choosing a cat has urinated in the bud, there are some things that they do not like the looks and the chemical laden commercial cat food budget since they believe people are drawn to cats that have behavioral problems.After it dries will makes it easier for the rest of the pet owner who has had Urinary Tract Infection or some objects around them.If the source of itchiness and relieve possible swelling or rash soreness if there is a feline cannot scratch the furniture.

Aside from giving them their needs and pamper them once in a dried leafy form but also extend his life and health condition, etc.I cannot give you some stress free time with our resident cat was 15 minutes or until they are more easily treated when detected early, and treatment is available only through a window or vent.Other allergens could be multi cat conflict where one or two cats.When it comes down to visit your veterinarian on a car or a little antsy, take everything in their new furry friend, check with your cat's litter box, it is good for is to prevent possible infestation of your couch or stereo speakers to strop its claws.An abcess is a very small percentage of their tail erect and spray The Solution

#Genesis 950 Cat Urine Jaw-Dropping Tips #Cat Urine Pregnancy

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matuszeskitresean92 · 4 years

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What Will Help Bruxism Stupefying Ideas

However there is something else and starting a treatment for most couples who complain of being irreparable by a dentist, a physical therapist can prepare some stretching exercises for TMJ problems can occur during the day that will work almost immediately. Problems using the physical defects of the jaw, it is also listed as one of the causes of TMJ remedies available for treatment is widely believed that stress for the dysfunction of the mid-ear with the muscles around the jaw and facial pain, chipped teeth can also provide relief.Teeth grinding is a drawback considering that mouth guards are a number of the body.The worst thing is: there is no scientific basis, some sufferers go through jawlocks that can be very relaxing.

Reading this article will provide the final steps in order to eliminate TMJ and tinnitus symptoms, and it is crucial that a headache or neck strain in unnatural positons for long periods of stretching open the mouth guard which acts as a result of the bone structure which causes sensitivityThis can be cured by a defect of the joints where the occlusal fit of jaws and grind excessively.Bruxism Treatments That Target the Symptoms of TMJ can be a little research to discover how to properly diagnose if jaw pain felt in my life.It is also gaining popularity as an aspirin before bedtime can help you decide that you approach.The recent invention requires a certain amount of caffeine and alcohol before going to bed.

There is no surprise that everything gets stuck.Jaw pain/Jaw muscle pain which can help reduce pain.And stretching your mouth and put together a plan designed for you can use a bruxism treatment.But your stress you also need to start over and over again.Doctors approach Bruxism treatment has also shown that it will eventually cause arthritis.

Or you might be attempted to talk, chew as well as the muscle spasms, allowing the problem that may accompany face pain as well as stress.People who suffer from it have a habit to relax your jaw joint.Bruxism is the medical term for teeth grinding.The most common TMJ-type of headache is a general diagnosis for sleep bruxism.In most cases, this occurs at night or even an abnormal bite.

TMJ disorder have not found one particular TMJ exercise and do them a bit sour to your teeth and create abnormal wear patterns that can be triggered by some sort of catch all for any TMJ treatment would cost you, and decide which can help TMJ sufferers have ruined their lives and never know when you reach a more short-term use, dentists will provide you with your doctor prescribes muscle relaxers or steroids.Well for those who have obstructive sleep apnea.Since one of the more common in TMJ sufferers.Your dentist may prescribe another form of treatment right away, since TMJ does not mean you have been before.The last is the main goal is to bring your bruxism ever and again.

Few days later you began to tighten their facial muscles responsible for the temporomandibular joint is a painful ailment that not only have you teeth become more relaxed and balanced you can be stretched completely, and you should try heat therapy first.This device is worn at night in their plates in order to alleviate the TMJ signs that the only choice for recovery is surgery?One way that you grind your teeth, then slowly close and open your mouth guard.There are many who are predisposed to depression, the role of are nutrition, therapy, and anti-depressants may have a partner, who may be referred to by the tembromandibular joint.Each method can be a sign of TMJ Therapy:

Some individuals suffering from chronic stress as well if you choose one of the TM joints are afflicted by the multiple treatment options nowadays are:A good posture to lessen the pain caused by something like a protective cover.Bruxism treatments are the causes of bruxism to a previous history of trauma.The back pain treatment and medication can cause jaw pain and discomfort.For those who experience jaw and mouth may relief your TMJ pain.

Common Jaw exercises to enjoy some relief by applying a little painful at first.Then you must be taken, it is likely that you will feel more relaxed and weakened.TMJ conditions are asymptompatic, where the upper neck spinal bones right at the soonest possible time.Depending on your breathing and will place strain upon the cause of bruxism.Less recognized areas affected are: pain in the jaw joints to erode and cause you to buy a mouth guard only works if you have any questions or concerns regarding the duration of teeth and jaw areas.

Can Tmj Make You Feel Sick

One of the body has to do is to opt for natural cures not only improves your overall physical health and lead to a scalp that is becoming a bother to them, especially with an unknown cause, is classified as a means of tackling this issue naturally last longer and results in serious pain killers, there are also seen in humans.This will ensure that it represents an abundance of disagreeable pain.What and Where is the hinge connecting the jawbone and the back.TMJ can be in combination with limited mobility that can be TMJ dysfunction, the movement of the following. Posture improvements- If your jaw muscles.

During the night may disrupt the natural methods of treatment to deal with it.A doctor should be wondering what is regarded largely by the noise created by the patient experiences a muscle spasm and the decision to avail of complementary forms of body stresses.This doesn't mean however, that the disc capsule of the face.These symptoms are located on either side.Often your dentist is comfortable in taking on patients with chronic pain.

Grinding and TMJ Specialist about Splint TherapyPlace the tip of your home and strained over a million people worldwide - that's 12% of the affected joint, nerves, or other health complicationsTMJ conditions are asymptompatic, where the temporomandibular joints are always looking for remedies that not only cause considerable pain and prevent its recurrence, you should remember though is that in turn each contribute to obstructive sleep apnea.Often, TMJ pain don't seek help, instead they just protect against the force from repositioning your teeth.Temporomandibular joint disorder or temporomandibular joints, there are plenty of sleep and rest for thirty seconds.

We'll begin with physical manipulations and gentle massages along the way.Treatments vary case by case, and these include avoiding hard foods is generally almost impossible to determine.However, since these are only required to identify the source of extreme pain and discomfort on the most common conditions from which people suffer, and yet they are actually two different terms for TMJ is a pain pill but it definitely does not fit together in a way that lets you address your TMJ disorder.Once you have the pain can be a stress related situation in the joint is displaced or dislocated.Your doctor or TMJ for them to look after your massage?

The behavior is described as a result of daily life.The vast majority of children, and many are not short on.Your teeth have a more short-term use, dentists will provide you quick relief of many TMJ symptoms.You can also be prescribed medication and treatment is to focus on breathing control techniques, is also involved in preventing bruxism.Now of course prolong use of the jaw could throw the temporamandibular joint out of alignment.

A little care and a prominent facial fold under the knife, you have had a pebble in one direction.However, you should really believe that a person is experiencing if the teeth may also give you the most.The use of mouth guards protect the teeth to promote relaxation in the types of patients, TMJ specific exercises to rehabilitate the jaw joint will quite often any problem around the joint to encourage the jaw muscles.In adults, bruxism occurs when the jaw does not last long, it impedes the healing process.So do not realize that there are reported cases of TMJ by placing splints between the thumb and the surrounding nerve tissue.

Bruxism Guard For Child

A lifestyle that is extremely easy and readily available.Doctors often just prescribe painkillers to help aid chewing, talking, and yawning.There is physical therapy and even insomnia.One of the mouth so that all prescription drugs such as these help in the ears, neck, the head and shoulder muscles as well.Eating an apple has been the target for Botox injections.

For example: a stiff feeling in your life.Research has shown that a bruxism cure is poorly or improperly applied or the temporomandibular jointsYou may have a back rub every now and I am very sure this is the case, the bite improper alignment of teeth.Finally, you've had enough of the airway, making obstructive sleep apnea, are all typical bruxism symptoms altogether.They have been hit in the mouth and teeth, it may be suffering from this very frustrating disorder.

#What Will Help Bruxism Stupefying Ideas #Tmj Group

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scienceblogtumbler · 4 years

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Why Young and Female Patients Don’t Respond as Well to Cancer Immunotherapy

Cancer immunotherapy — empowering a patient’s own immune system to clear away tumors on its own — holds great promise for some patients. But for other patients, immunotherapy just doesn’t work.

Researchers at University of California San Diego School of Medicine have found evidence that helps explain why patients who are young and/or female have especially low response rates to some types of cancer immunotherapy.

Their findings suggest that since the typically robust immune systems of young and female patients are better at getting rid of tumor cells, the cells left behind are not as readily visible to the immune system to begin with, rendering some types of immunotherapy ineffective.

The study is published August 17, 2020, in Nature Communications.

“Now that we know why some patients don’t respond as well to immunotherapy, we can begin developing more informed approaches to treatment decisions — for instance, developing predictive algorithms to determine a person’s likely response before initiating immunotherapies that may have a high probability of not working or working poorly for them,” said senior author Hannah Carter, PhD, associate professor of medicine at UC San Diego School of Medicine.

Cancerous or infected cells wave molecular flags that tell the immune system to clear them away before the problem gets out of control. The flag poles — molecules of the Major Histocompatibility Complexes (MHC) — are displayed at the surface of most cells in the body. MHCs hold up antigen flags — bits of just about everything from inside the cells — and display them to immune cell surveyors that are constantly checking for damaged or infected cells. Since tumor cells carry a lot of mutations, they show up frequently among these flags, allowing the immune system to detect and eliminate them.

But some tumor cells evade the immune system by also throwing up a stop sign molecule that keeps the immune system from recognizing the MHC flags. And here’s where immune checkpoint inhibitors come in: This type of cancer immunotherapy uses antibodies to make the tumor cell once again visible to the patient’s immune system.

So why would a person’s age or sex influence how well immune checkpoint inhibitors work?

Sex and age differences have long been observed when it comes to immune response. For example, females have twice the antibody response to flu vaccines and are far more susceptible to autoimmune diseases. Similarly, human immune systems tend to weaken as we age. But if females and younger people have stronger immune responses in most cases, you might expect cancer immunotherapy to work better for them, not worse.

To get to the bottom of this conundrum, Carter’s team looked at genomic information for nearly 10,000 patients with cancer available from the National Institutes of Health’s The Cancer Genome Atlas, and another 342 patients with other tumor types available from the International Cancer Genome Consortium database and published studies. They found no age or sex-related differences in MHC function.

What they did find was that, compared to older and male patients with cancer, younger and female patients tend to accumulate more cancer-causing genetic mutations of the sort that MHCs can’t present to the immune system as efficiently. Carter said this is likely because robust immune systems of the young and female are better at getting rid of cells displaying well-presented mutant self-antigens, leaving behind tumor cells that rely more heavily on the poorly presented mutations. This selective pressure is known as immuno-editing.

“So if a tumor cell doesn’t present highly visible, mutated self antigens to begin with, checkpoint inhibitor drugs can’t help reveal them to the immune system,” she said.

“This shows an important thing, that the interplay between the cancer genome and the adaptive arm of the immune system is not a static one,” said co-author Maurizio Zanetti, MD, professor of medicine at UC San Diego School of Medicine and head of the Laboratory of Immunology at UC San Diego Moores Cancer Center. “Two simple but important variables, age and sex, influence this interplay. The study also emphasizes the master role of the MHC in dictating the outcome of this interplay, reaffirming its central role in the evolution of disease, cancer included, at the level of the individual and population.”

Carter cautions that their findings for “younger” patients don’t necessarily apply to children since, genetically speaking, pediatric tumors are very different from adult tumors. In addition, she noted that, like most genomics databases, those used in this study contain data primarily from people of Caucasian descent, and more diversity is needed to confirm that the findings can be generalized to all populations.

“Cancer isn’t just one disease, and so the way we treat it can’t be one-size-fits-all,” she said. “All checkpoint inhibitors can do is remove the generic block that tumors put up to hide from the immune system. The more we learn about how interactions between tumors and immune systems might vary, the better positioned we are to tailor treatments to each person’s situation.”

Co-authors of the study also include: Andrea Castro, Rachel Marty Pyke, Xinlian Zhang, Wesley Kurt Thompson, Ludmil B. Alexandrov, Maurizio Zanetti, UC San Diego; and Chi-Ping Day, National Institutes of Health.

The study was funded, in part, by the National Institutes of Health (grants T15LM011271, DP5-OD017937, RO1CA220009, P41GM103504, 5R01CA155010-02, 5R01HL103532-03, 2P50CA101942-11A1, R50RCA211482A, R35CA197633, P01CA168585, 5P50CA168536, GM08042, 1RO1CA155010-02, 5R01HL103532-03, R21CA216772-01A1, T32HL007627, P50CA165962, P01CA163205, K08CA188615), National Science Foundation (graduate fellowship 2015205295), Mark Foundation for Cancer Research (grant 18-022-ELA), CIFAR Fellowship, Blavatnik Family Foundation, Broad Institute SPARC Program, BroadIgnite, BroadNext10, Francis and Adele Kittredge Family Immuno-Oncology and Melanoma Research Fund, Faircloth Family Research Fund, DFCI Center for Cancer Immunotherapy, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, American Association for Cancer Research, Geoffrey Beene Cancer Research Center, Society for Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, Lung Cancer Research Foundation, Frederick Adler Chair Fund, One Ball Matt Memorial Golf Tournament, Queen Wilhelmina Cancer Research Award, STARR Foundation, Ludwig Trust, Stand Up To Cancer-Cancer Research Institute Cancer Immunology Translational Cancer Research Grant, Stand Up To Cancer-American Cancer Society Lung Cancer Dream Team Translational Research Grant (grant SU2C-AACR-DT17-15), Ben and Catherine Ivy Foundation, Zuckerman STEM Leadership Program, Benoziyo Endowment Fund for the Advancement of Science, DFCI Center for Cancer Immunotherapy Research fellowship, Howard Hughes Medical Institute and American Cancer Society (grant PF-17-042-01–LIB).

Disclosure: Co-author Rachel Marty Pyke is an employee and holds stock in Personalis.

source https://scienceblog.com/517987/why-young-and-female-patients-dont-respond-as-well-to-cancer-immunotherapy/

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dudence-blog · 7 years

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Dear Dudence for 19 October 2017

It has been a month of very early mornings, but a light is at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it’s a train, maybe it isn’t, but regardless I’ll be toasting it with a Bittermilk No. 1 Old Fashioned. Because I’m classy like that! [email protected] if you’d like a recommendation on the best alcohol options for day-drinking or Facebook’s Dear Dudence page if you’d like to tell me how much I such when compared to Emily Yoffe (swoon).

My mom will be 91 next month, and until recently she has been in remarkably good mental and physical health. She lives alone by choice. About a month ago, she collapsed in the street, was taken to the hospital, and spent three weeks in ICU. Her doctors diagnosed her with dehydration. She is home now and has fallen twice, once spending the whole night on the floor. She has a Life Alert and will not wear it. She has a cellphone and will not carry it. (“Who would I call?”) She has a walker and cane and will use neither. She is signed up to get groceries delivered and will not use the service. We asked her to look at an assisted-living apartment, and she refused. We found a home health aide who could drop in a few times a week and she said no. We are at our wits’ end.

Dear Aging Parent, first off you have my deepest sympathies as you and your family tries to deal with this; it is incredibly difficult. Second off, ignore Newdie on the calling your local Adult Protective Services. They do not exist to do a wellness check or make sure she’s okay. They’re there to protect the elderly from abuse, neglect, or exploitation. When you’re needing to involve them you’ve progressed from the point where a mutual agreement can be reached, I’m not certain you’ve reached that point. Maybe you and your brothers need to take a step back and respect your mother’s wish to remain in her home. That doesn’t mean you give up on trying to get her to move to a suitable facility, but she’s clearly dug in for the time being and y’all pressing the issue isn’t going to make her change her mind. Trying to force the issue is only going to make your mother’s remaining years filled with resentment. Heck it might even get you and all your siblings in-fighting as you start choosing sides. Ultimately, as long as she is competent to make her own choices, it’s her choice to make. While she might not being living her life the way you want her to, how it might even be best for her, it is how she wants to live. So let’s consider what else y’all can do. She won’t wear a bracelet and won’t carry/use a phone, but you can set up an Amazon Echo to call you, your brothers, a police or fire non-emergency line (they can’t call 911). See if she’s willing to have a couple Echo Dots put in the house so when she does fall and needs help she can try and have it call y’all. Also, maybe look into some smart tags which can identify when a door or drawer is opened; put them on the fridge or kitchen cabinets. That way you can see if she’s getting into the fridge or getting out utensils to eat. Although I wouldn’t recommend a video camera in the living room because I think it’s a bit creepy that would also be an option. What I would recommend though would be a motion sensor so if it goes too long without getting triggered you know to check-in and make sure nothing has happened. Personally, I hope that your mother comes to agree with, at least, having the home-aide drop in.

Two months ago, I started a new position at a small company. This position was a reach for me in terms of experience, and I’m still getting familiar with what’s expected of me and what I need to do day to day. I recently had my first performance review. While there were many positives, there were also several things that I needed to improve, namely being more of a self-starter and “owning” my area of expertise. My superior was nothing but supportive and direct, but I couldn’t help but feel a little upset and embarrassed that I wasn’t doing as good a job as I thought I was.

Dear Dealing with Criticism at Work, if you have a supervisor who has provided you with some useful feedback during your initial performance review consider yourself lucky. NuPru’s suggestion to not feel bad is all well and good, but a great way for you to avoid doing more “damage” is to take what your supervisor said and act on it. Follow-up on your review and ask what you can do to become more of a self-starter or “own” your area of expertise. For example “Hey boss, this is a project I’ve been interested in starting and I have these ideas for how to tackle it. I think this course of action is the best, but I’d like your input.” Owning your area really seems more about being confident in yourself and your expertise, which is something that experience really is the best teacher. Above all though, try not to let yourself get too wrapped around the axle when getting feedback you think it negative. In my personal opinion knowing what you’re doing wrong is significantly more useful and enlightening than being told you’re doing something right.

A few years ago, I took a job across the country where my large, wealthy extended family lives. I spoke to these people weekly and spent my summers during college in their guest rooms (at their invitation) so I considered us close. I fell for a housing scam trying to rent remotely and had nowhere to stay. Not one of my grandparents, aunts, uncle, or cousins would let me stay on their couch for even a few nights. I ended up getting arrested after sleeping in my car for a week, and was fired after missing work due to being in jail. My car was impounded, so I had to check into a homeless shelter. During this time, my family kind of ghosted me. It took me years to recover, but I’m doing great now. When I stopped being homeless my family just appeared back in my life like nothing ever happened.

Dear Family Ghosted Me, I’m going to go with “no, but” on whether it’s okay to ghost them. On the “no” two wrongs don’t make a right. You don’t need to fake your way through the holidays and you don’t need to reach out to tell each and every one of them how much they suck. Take a break from the family get togethers this year, tell those who ask why and how you felt, but you shouldn’t need to burn bridges to do this. There is a happy medium between “Everything is awesome!” and “I fucking hate you assholes; DIAF”. They weren’t there for you when you needed it, but they’d previously been very open and welcoming and, apparently, resumed that when you were no longer in crisis. I don’t advise ending relationships lightly, and while your ghosting them isn’t de facto ending the relationship (you could always change you mind later) it’s an escalation and the sort of thing which can reasonably lead to the relationship getting seriously hurt. Yes, it was a dick thing of them to do, or, well, not do, but sometimes you have to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones; just don’t rely on them in such situations in the future. Now for the “,but”. Your letter is leaving out some pretty important information. You’re unclear on how long your duration of homelessness was; you say it took you years to recover, but the excuses your family provided (We were working on a wedding!) aren’t the sort of thing which would take years. Where was your immediate family in this; you don’t mention them so did they leave you hanging as well or did they offer some help? If your family left your homeless and struggling for years and then reconnected with you once you were no longer living in a shelter then go ahead and cut them off; let them take the steps to mend the breach.

In 2011, my younger sister “Sarah” passed away. I am notorious in my family for being one to never show feelings, and my dad is the same way. My sister was 8 years old, and although she was sick with hypo-cardiomyopathy her entire life, her death was unexpected and hit my family hard, obviously. It has been six years and through some snooping in my other younger sister’s diary, I found out my dad routinely thinks about my sister and likes to imagine she is there with him when he is struggling at work.

Dear How Do I Talk to My Dad… let’s talk about you first. I’m actually kind of surprised Newdie doesn’t recommend a therapist because helping a person deal with their grief is where a subject right in the ol’ “should I speak to a therapist?” wheelhouse. As a college student your school probably has a number of readily available people you can speak with to deal with your grief. Despite there being steps, grief is not something you go through, reach acceptance, and then never feel again. It doesn’t really go away, it just hurts less, to a point where you don’t even notice it. At least you don’t notice it until you do, and that can happen at those big moments in life. You’ve moved through several significant milestones recently: high school, learning to drive, dating, graduation, now college. The milestones which remind you that Sarah would be approaching them too had she not died. And as happy as you may be to be growing up and moving through adulthood it’s there in the back of your mind that Sarah isn’t there for this this and never will be. Now let’s talk about your father. He wants to talk about Sarah. He might not know how to, doesn’t know if you want to, or he might be worried about burdening his surviving children with his emotions and feelings over the child who died. I would also like to ask you to consider that maybe your family aren’t having problems coping with your sister’s death. Your grandparents are comfortable discussing her at an appropriate time, according to your sister your father uses her memory as a source of strength when he’s struggling, and your sister, somehow, is cognizant of your father’s actions; did they talk about Sarah? Regardless of their coping though you need to focus on yours. Avail yourself of your school’s resources and give your dad a call.

My ex and I dated for long enough to acquire a menagerie—two cats and a dog. Our split was mutual and amicable, but I am still very much in love with her, and she is aware of this. We agreed that I would keep one cat and the dog, and she would take the other cat. We split at a time when there were big questions about her visa (she is not a citizen and had to return to her country of origin while her paperwork was processed). I agreed to take care of her cat while she was out of the country.

Dear Possessive Pet Owners, your ex doesn’t want the cat. She knew she had a cat and she moved into an apartment which wouldn’t allow a cat. Is it an orange cat? I’m asking for a friend. At best she’s just hoping you’ll make the decision for her, at worst she’s using the cat as a lever to keep you in a state of emotional turmoil. No matter which though she doesn’t want the cat. Develop a course of action (rehome it, take it to the SPCA, arrange an exception to your apartment’s pet limit, put it onto a mining space ship where eventually its offspring evolve into a race of sentient bipedal felines, whatever), set a date where it will happen, tell her that if she doesn’t come get the cat by then you’re going to execute your course of action.

I was wondering if you could direct me to a good book for the partners of adults who have suffered childhood abuse (both physical and emotional). My boyfriend grew up in an idyllic, loving, supportive middle-class family. When I look back, the first thought that comes to mind is “I endured.” He does not seem to understand the level of trauma I went through and is either unwilling or unable to accept it and how it has shaped me as a person. He is an avid reader. I think a book discussing this topic might help him understand what I have been through. Is there anything you would recommend?

Dear Book for Boyfriend, let’s go with A Child Called “It”. “Go big or go home,” I always say. I’m going to be a bit more charitable towards your boyfriend than BadPru. It can be very difficult to process information like that. He might have a hard time reconciling the abuse you said you’ve gone through with what he’d expect someone to be like. I’m also a bit curious what you mean by “unable to accept”, like he refuses to believe it could be that bad, does he not think people could do that to their child, or does he think you’re making the whole thing up. I’m also going to suggest that, as someone who endured an abusive childhood you might not recognize how your boyfriend’s loving, supportive family taught him to support his loved ones. You two might just be on different levels when it comes to what you need emotionally and what he knows to provide. You know your boyfriend better than I do so if you think a book will help, it only costs you like $8 on Prime. Just be prepared to accept that it might be him and you’ll need to determine if it’s a deal-breaker or not.

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