#the levels of fucked up shit from tony's past and his relationship with parents which ultimately made him what he is

[zevrans-remade]

.

[professorrw]

The New Recruit

Pairing: female reader x Wanda Maximoff

Requested: Yes

Warnings: reader isn’t sure of sexuality/hasn’t come out, alcohol, partying, fluff, making out, mentions of human experiments

A/N: Requests are open for one-shots, headcanons, imagines, and drabbles for My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, and Marvel! My taglist is open so if you’d like to be on that just tell me! Please like, comment, and reblog!

After all the attacks that had been made on Earth in the past ten years the Avengers thought it was time to find a new member. Who better than a 24 year old girl that grew up in a lab? From a young age you were experimented on and eventually developed powers. Said powers being cloning. You can create duplicates of yourself for a limited amount of time, and during that time they do whatever you project them doing.

Your father, or the mad scientist that created your powers got arrested when you were 15, leaving you with your grandparents. You were kept under surveillance until you came of age 3 years later. You acted like everyone else, going to college and then getting a job. That was until you got a call from Nick Fury. He knew about the tests and experiments that were done to you and asked if you could control those powers.

That was how you ended up becoming an Avenger. It was exhilarating to finally use your cloning for good.

The Avengers became like your second family, Wanda especially. She was the closest in age to you, only being about a year younger. She too was experimented on and ended up with powers. The rest of the squad was weary of her. Her emotions were strong because of everything she had been through.

You and Wanda quickly became close. Like sisters close. But there was something there you were afraid to explore. You felt… attracted to Wanda in a way you hadn’t before. You weren’t opposed to dating girls. You’ve been with a few guys before but it never lasted. You could never confide in them your secrets, your power.

Your sexuality was something you’d never explored. But Wanda made you feel safe and warm. When she touched you it made your breath hitch and when she looked at you your heart ached. You didn’t know how to tell her, or how to tell any of the crew you liked men and women. But you could start with telling Wanda how you felt. You had an inkling that maybe she felt the same way about you.

You were hanging out with Wanda in your room, watching a romance movie that you found. You thought it was a romance movie but by the end of it you were both crying. It ended in tragedy, which you didn’t know.

You turned to Wanda who was crying. You both looked at each other and giggled. You reached out to help Wanda wipe her tears. You cupped her cheek and swiped your thumbs beneath her eyes. You didn’t retract your hands when you finished though. You realized the close proximity you were in. Your eyes flickered from her parted lips to her pupils. Without saying anything you leaned in and so did Wanda.

The kiss between you was electric. Fireworks went off and lights flickered (not literally). You kissed once, then again, then once more. You rested your forehead against Wanda’s while you both breathed. Wanda licked at her lips and wistfully sighed.

“What?” you whispered.

“I wasn’t sure if you…” she trailed off.

“Me either but I know how I feel about you. I like you Wanda.”

Now she was cupping your face, pulling you in for one more kiss.

That was the beginning of your relationship with Wanda. You both agreed to keep it a secret until you were ready. You didn’t want to tell the whole squad about your sexuality and attraction to Wanda just yet. You would kiss in private or hold hands when no one was watching. Little risks like those set your heart ablaze. You felt like a kid keeping secrets from your parents.

You kept this up for a while and you planned to tell everyone soon. Wanda was nothing but patient with you. She said she liked the secret looks and touches. You were still going with the whole charade when Tony announced his birthday party would be in a few days. You never experienced one yourself but Thor and Natasha told you how over the top they were. 

For the party you dressed in a short dress with a low hanging neck that flattered your body. You also put on a pair of strappy heels, fit for the occasion. You could hear the music playing in the main living area as you went down in the elevator. You peered out the floor to ceiling windows and saw cars lining the street. Leave it to Tony to invite every single celebrity he knows. 

You stepped out onto the level that the party was happening. The whole floor was full of people dancing, drinking, and lounging around the couches and pool table. You immediately spotted Wanda across the dance floor and you had to go all the way around to get to her. Your jaw dropped when you saw her. She was wearing a gorgeous deep red blazer and matching pants with a belt to cinch in her waist. To go along with it she had black glittering heels that made her taller than usual.

Seeing her like that and not being able to touch her was the hardest game of temptation you had ever played with yourself.

“You look amazing!” you yelled over the music.

“So do you!”

You both went to the bar to start the night off right. Natasha happened to be occupying the bartender position and made you the ultimate party drink to get you loose in no time. The drink had a satisfying burn as it went down your throat. You downed the rest of it, resulting in a wild laugh from Natasha. “I just know you can party!”

You took Wanda’s hand and pulled her over to the dance floor. You moved in time with the music, feeling yourself up as you danced in circles. Your girlfriend was completely hypnotized by the provocative way you were moving your body. She couldn’t resist anymore and put her hands on your waist. The alcohol was strong and was already clouding your thought process. At the moment all you wanted to do was dance.

Hundreds of sweaty bodies were moving and sliding around on top of each other. Wanda was behind you now and moving back and forth with you. You threw your head back on her shoulder and guided her hands up and down your torso. She had finally broken her resistance. She pulled you away from the party and into the empty hall that held the elevator.

“What-” She pressed you against the wall and crashed her lips against yours. She was gripping your hips, which had been tempting her all night. You were pulling her even closer by her neck, head turning this way and that as you tasted the drink on her tongue.

Heels clacking pulled you out of the kiss. You gazed over at the person who so rudely interrupted you and saw that it was Natasha. Oh fuck. You suddenly felt as sober as a saint.

“Natasha- I- We-”

She chuckled, “You don’t have to explain yourselves to me. I already knew. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” She winked and returned to the bustling party.

You leaned your head against the wall. “Shit.”

“Hey gorgeous, it’s okay.” Wanda put her hand on your cheek and leaned back into you. “She said she wouldn’t tell. I trust Natasha.”

“No. It’s about time I told everyone. If you want to, that is.”

“Do whatever you’re comfortable with, baby.” You let out a breath with your nose and smiled at your girlfriend. She smiled too and then continued to kiss you.

You ended up leaving the party early, which didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the Avengers, who asked you about it at breakfast the next day.

“Why did you two leave last night? The party was just getting started.” Tony was drinking a green smoothie but put it down when you two came in.

Wanda looked at you, encouraging you.

“Um… we left. Together. Me and Wanda are… together.” You shifted your weight from one foot to another as you gaged your teammate’s reactions.

Realization dawned on everyone’s faces other than Natasha’s. Tony was the first to speak again. “Well I think this calls for a celebration.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. 

You laughed, in awe of your team. Of course they wouldn’t judge you.

Taglist: @bellamy1998​

[mrsmarymorstan]

Don't why the fans especially the manga readers are hyping about tooru breaking the curse when she didn't even do shit. she just went on that silly adventure and be an annoying crybaby whenever she learns something new about the curse. it was actually akito who broke the curse so i can't understand what you are all hyping tohru on.

Ah yes, I to remember the days when I’d be deliberately antagonistic just for fun and beat on female characters for showing emotions and caring about people. Or indeed, resent characters for having entirely realistic reactions to the cosmic horror and terror that surrounds them. Then I turned 16 and HER WE ARE ten years later and I get to see it from a whole new perspective! What fun. 

In your misguided attempt to cause drama by shitting on people having a good time by being excited about upcoming character moments, much like Dr Flemming’s unwashed petri dish, you have hit upon something that benefits further discussion and interest. 

That point being, was it TOHRU who broke the curse, or was it Akito? 

The answer, I believe, is both. SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLIES TONY YOU ARE WARNED DO NOT @ ME AGAIN IF YOU MESS UP. 

When Tohru sets out to break the curse and stop the love of her life from being locked up in a cold dark room for the rest of his existence, she finds out that the curse is firstly, a bond of blood sworn by the spririts of the past and not something that can be physically manifested, and secondly, that the curse has already begun to break RE: Kureno. 

Now, there’s a LOT of theories about why Kureno’s curse broke and if it truly was some random event or if there was a trigger. I think it’s a combination of the two. It’s noted by the maids and by (I think) Shigure that this is the first time in a long time that the entire Juunishi are present. There is also a sizeable age gap betwee Hiro and Kureno, that would about match up between Hiro being an infant when Kureno’s curse broke. Ergo, I propose that his curse broke soon after their first New Year’s together as a complete banquet with no spaces missing. Save that of the cat, of course, but more on him later. 

Kureno is the rooster, and I believe that in legend the Rooster was seen as the closest to God because he could deliver messages between heaven and earth. Therefore it makes sense that the first to leave God alone, is God’s messenger. “We have had our final Banquet, it’s time to end the cycle.” 

Of course Akito/God does not have a positive reaction to this, and the loss of one Juunishi inspires a great sense of loneliness and fear within Akito similar to that which lead to the creation of the bond in the first place. We do not see God being willing to make any attempt to work on achieving the Cat’s wish of finally being able to form friendships beyond the Zodiac and forming bonds with the humans he was so afraid of before. 

And THAT is the crux of the matter. Tohru came into the Sohma’s lives and began to break the curse simply by forming close bonds with them all, and letting them into her life and react to the world around them. Hana and Uo are both friends with Kyo and Yuki, actively choosing to spend time together. We also see that in Kyo attending the same school as Yuki, it opens up that same school to Haru and Momiji where they too can form bonds outside of the Sohma influence. It’s a school THEY chose, not the single sex one Akito picked out. Equally this means we have to give some credit to Yuki for making the brave choice of defying his parents and Akito’s wishes by attending a mixed school, and Shigure (who continues to be the mastermind here) for goading Akito into allowing Kyo to also attend that school and not simply pay off the private school he was MEANT to attend and have them let him back in. 

It’s also no real surprise that the two other Juunishi whose curses break before the final scene are Momiji and Hiro. Hiro is shown to be forming bonds outside of the Zodiac too. Not only has he matured enough that he is able to understand things from Tohru’s perspective now and has a relatively positive relationship with her, he ALSO becomes a Big Brother with a little sister he adores. Again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that his curse breaks whilst he is in the same room as her. The Sheep has formed a meaningful relationship outside of the Zodaic, so it is time for the Sheep Spirit to return to its original realm. We then have Momiji, who is absolutely desperately in love with Tohru and is also equally desperate to be allowed to have a relationship with his OWN sister. Momiji’s curse breaks only after he has gone through puberty though and reaches adulthood. It’s when he starts to truly understand the path that is laid before him, and where he stands in it. He WANTS a relationship with Tohru, but he can also recognise that she is in love with Kyo and that makes it all the more painful. He knows that as he ages he is only going to be made to feel more distant from his sister, and that hurts too. HOWEVER, Momiji doesn’t ever stop LONGING for meaningful relationships and a world beyond the life of the Zodiac. He recognises that he does not have anything really tying him to the Sohma anymore, and so his curse breaks. The rabbit spirit has no need to be part of the banquet, and so heads home.   

Now, as you can see, whilst Tohru is a key trigger in the breaking of the curse, she’s still not the one to actively do it, right? 

Well, wrong. Sort of. 

Take note that when we’re told the ACTUAL story of the Original Banquet , we find that the Cat was the first friend God ever made, and was also the first to die. It was the death of the cat that triggered God into creating the eternal bond that would always bring them together, and it was the cat’s terror and dismay at being forced into such a bond that caused them to disown him. The cat has, all along, simply wanted God to make friends. The first who had the curse take effect upon them, was the one who rejectd it the most and as such was then shunned forever more. The cat wanted God to make bonds outside of the Zodiac, and in turn the cat was forever banned form making those bonds. Even though we’ve been show the Cat was granted some realtionships in the form of Kazuma’s Grandmother; it is a relationship made out of pitty rather than love and understanding. 

Tohru though? Torhu is the God Damned (excuse the pun) Year of the Cat Fanclub PRESIDENT. Nobody loves and respects the OG Cat Spirit in the way she does. She emphasied with the Cat’s plight in the legend her mother told her, feeling sorry for them being tricked like that and being forced to miss out on being part of the legend. She wanted the cat to join the group! She cradled the cat’s body in much the same way God in his final moments, as instead this time Tohru brings him back into the light and forms a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the cat spirit through love and empathy.

And later on, in that same mountainside, it is TOHRU who is the one who reaches out her hand to god and asks to become friends. It is the act of God forming friends with mortal humans that triggers Akito/God to finally release everyone from their curse. That’s why it happens when it does, when Akito knows that Tohru is safely out of hospital, that she has still welcomed Akito into her life... and that if Akito is going to take those terrifying steps into forming relationships that can end in rejection, she’s going to have to do it on her own two feet. 

THAT is how Tohru breaks the curse. THAT is what is important here and what is so FUCKING HARD ROCK about Tohru Honda. We see her willing to stand up to GOD in order to break the curse, but she stands before God as an EQUAL. Tohru WILL break the curse. She WILL fight for her soulmate. She WILL make you be friends with her and address your deep seated issues of self hate and abandonment (not that she has those issues herself ahahahha no I’m just your average happy go lucky teenager with two dead parents who lives in a tent I’M FINE) 

Of course, it turns out that everything Shigure and Kazuma told her about breaking the curse was true: That she didn’t have to do anything other than to continue to be herself. HOWEVER, in order to BE herself she needed to try and have a “silly adventure” where she tested her metal and learnt to speak up for herself. Why are we excited? Because we’re going to see Tohru finally find the confidence to speak out against others without harm! We see her get into a fight with Rin about it. We see her refusing to back down against Kagura. We see her standing on her own two feet and saying “No. No I don’t want that. I REFUSE to give in and to leave well alone!” 

All before, Tohru has been so scared to speak up for herself because of her debilitating abandonment issues (and please let’s not make fun of people’s mental health issues, okay? I haven’t been having a weekly therapy session for nearly two years now just because for the fun of it) but now she’s got to the point where she feels comfortable and secure enough to show an uglier side to herself that people might reject. She is able to be mean, and shout, and fucking break into someone’s house in order to get what she wants! How can a TRUE fruits basket fan NOT be excitd for that level of character development? 

And to end it, please, for the LOVE OF GOD it is 2020. I am 26 years old. I have been on tumblr since 2011. Do not send me hate about female fictional characters and expect me to roll over. My username is “Mrs Mary Morstan”. Mary. Morstan. The most hated female character in all of BBC Sherlock. Do not even try to fucking test me, you Petri Dish. 

[veryvincible]

Do you think you could share some of your Tony Ty youth/relationship days hcs? hehe

Yours truly,

Tys obsessed fan

Oh boy! I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because there is, uh, a lot. Also, I adore you, and I love every Ty ask I receive.

I think this post would end up far too long if I responded the way I desire to in my heart, so I’ll keep it relatively simple (edit: it did not stay relatively simple, and also it branched out slightly into other topics. This is so very long. Be warned.)

Content warnings here for psychological/emotional abuse/domestic abuse/child abuse!

I like to think they didn’t really have a “let’s get together!” moment. I think they ended up becoming close, they were casual with each other, and it just kind of... became what it became. I think they probably ended up using labels at some point, but I don’t think there was ever an official, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Would you want to be, like, boyfriends?” moment. 

I think Tony was a generally isolated kid (obviously, he gained acquaintances like Bruce and potentially Reed as he grew older, but you know) and Ty was... probably also a generally isolated kid. Ty may have had a few other “friends” around, given what we know about him; he’s certainly charismatic. I don’t think Ty would have really developed close friendships with many people, though, given that his personality seems more rotten the closer you get to him.

We don’t see a lot of their childhood together at all, so this is almost entirely shit I’ve come up with for the sake of fic writing and general note-taking for the sake of coherency with how I write Ty, but.

One thing I tend to lean toward is the idea that Ty had kind of an awful home life. This isn’t really an, “Aw, boo, so sad, what a tragic man,” sort of thing so much as it is that... I think Ty and Tony are at their most interesting when they’re contrasting forces, and the idea of Tony (a victim of abuse who broke the cycle) becoming friends with Ty (a victim of abuse who perpetuates the cycle) at a young age, not in spite of their differences but because of them, is something I really like to think about.

We don’t actually get much of Ty’s parents in canon-- they’re kind of implied to be, like, Fine Parents. They’re contrasted with Howard Stark, who pulls the shark-eat-shark business motherfucker thing and basically causes Mr. Stone’s business to, like. Drown, or whatever. You know. The contrast there is implied, and I respect that for what it is. That being said, that’s not what interesting for me to write, and as such, I’ve chosen to tweak these little details for the sake of my more personalized (and slightly more self-indulgent) fic writing experience.

I think there’s a lot of potential in considering the differences between how they act at home as opposed to how they act with each other, too. I think Home Tony is generally apprehensive and subdued, but more uncertain and anxious than outright fearful 24/7. In IM Vol. 1, Howard was shown to be unpredictable; we got to see a lot of bad, but there were also sparkling moments wherein they seemed to be bonding as a father-son duo, and Tony would actually get to work with his father and learn from his father. I think that very well could have exacerbated the anxiety he felt, because he’s not being taught to never touch anything ever-- he’s being taught that there are very specific circumstances under which he’s able to explore as he’d like to, and those circumstances are 1) virtually impossible to accurately predict and 2) subject to change at the drop of a hat. So, Tony has been shown to be at least a little bit capable of testing the waters with what he’s allowed to do in the house and what he’s not allowed to do. That doesn’t make it any less anxiety-inducing, it just makes him a tiny, tiny bit of a more active child than one who’s constantly paralyzed.

Home Ty, to me, would be the opposite-- he is fearful 24/7, and as such, his behavior as a child is kind of... flawless, at least in the eyes of parents who think that children should be seen, not heard (and sometimes not even seen). I think both of his parents were abusive-- his father more so than his mother, but certainly both of them, if only because I think it would be yet another nice contrast between him and Tony, whose mother wasn’t perfect but certainly tried harder and felt more for Tony than Howard did. I like to think Ty was kept on a very short leash at home; boundaries were predictable, there were no “glimmering moments” he could grasp onto in order to make him feel like there was ever a chance of having normal family dynamics, and he was too afraid to really... do anything about it.

In contrast, I think Boarding School Ty was probably a lot pushier, a lot more risk-taking, and generally just... took up more space. I think he was still pretty fearful of authority and nervous about punishment, but he was well aware of the fact that this was distinctly different from being at home and that most people at school didn’t give a flying fuck about him. It likely could have been both liberating and anxiety inducing for someone so used to being around people who found it important to control him. I think he was probably pretty manipulative at this point, but I don’t think it was at the point where you would point to him and go, “Oh, what a fucked up, toxic person!”, especially since he was, like... a little fucking dude. Like, a fucking young’un. But I think the seeds were sort of planted here, and given that he had no healthy relationships to model himself after, he worked off of the assumption that in order to have control as opposed to being controlled, he needed to 1) possess things, 2) protect them aggressively, and 3) make sure his authority wasn’t threatened.

Boarding School Tony (from what little we’ve seen of him, though we can imagine he was probably similar to pre-boarding school Tony for a while, just with more Issues now) was probably the opposite-- less willing to take up space and less willing to take risks. It’s not unimaginable to assume that he might have thought his (extremely) mild exploratory tendencies might have had something to do with the abandonment, and he very well could have adjusted accordingly; if him causing trouble for people was what pushed his parents to leave him, he would very simply not cause trouble. A lot of this is nabbed from Adult Tony tendencies, wherein pretty much everyone else is prioritized over himself and he’s practically incapable of finding himself worthy of anything at all.

It’s the classic “extrovert friend-adopts an introvert” trope, except... it’s a severely damaged child feeling gutsy enough to finally, finally take up space and find something to possess and control for his own for once... friend-adopting a severely damaged child who very likely feels like the best way to proceed in relationships is to very clearly identify boundaries, figure out what it is the other person wants from him, and try to adhere to those desires as much as he’s able.

Of course, canon portrays the relationship as a “friendly rivalry” that Ty takes much more seriously than Tony does. From what we’ve seen of Tony, though, Tony doesn’t actually want to be better than anyone. In fact, he tries his best to make it seem like the opposite. He treats everyone like they’re on the same level, he tries to simplify the concepts he’s explaining so no one feels inferior to him, and, generally, he just... isn’t much of a braggart. That isn’t to say competitive/proud people can’t be kind and gentle and want to level the playing field often, but in Tony’s case, it seems that competition is best for two things: 1) having two intelligent, capable people trying to outdo each other and, in the process, creating better and better technology for the betterment of society at large, and 2) lighthearted fun.

For Ty, it very clearly wasn’t just lighthearted fun, and I think most of their childhood rivalry would have become formulaic at a point: Tony would put a good amount of effort into their competitions, but if it seemed that Ty was lagging behind too much, Tony would simply back off and let things even out. I don’t think Ty was predictably a sore loser; in fact, I think he was unpredictable, and I think a part of Tony that had only known life to be unpredictable found some level of sick comfort in that.

For Tiberius Stone specifically, I tend to read more into the unintended consequences/implications of his character based on one-off lines that... weren’t really intended to say much. The story canon gives us isn’t incohesive, exactly! It’s a pretty good story, especially if you’re not hellbent on analyzing character motivations. There’s just a lot about Ty that doesn’t seem very stable. Obviously, he’s not a stable person, given that he, uh, freaked the fuck out and tried to take over the world. But when I say Ty doesn’t seem very stable, I mean his character doesn’t seem the most stable at a second glance; we’re given conflicting accounts about his motivations, his intentions, his past, and even what he’s trying to do in the moment. And some of these inconsistences can be found in dialogue from Ty’s own mouth.

Now, if you read into it from a point of view that’s canon-adjacent as opposed to canon-compliant (i.e., assuming there’s much more of a story there than canon offers, and canon’s “case closed!” for the timeline of Ty’s life isn’t actually a closed case), you can gauge not only some level of dysregulation, but also... a level of delusion, almost. Ty seems disconnected from reality, but it’s not like there’s one single alternate timeline of events that’s cohesive in his head. It feels like his view of the world and, most importantly, himself (and this is excluding dialogue wherein he’s explicitly lying to Tony in order to manipulate him).

Most notably, we can kind of gauge fluctuations in his own views of his self worth. He engages in constant competition with Tony, he refuses to come back to America after leaving until he’s more successful than Tony, and pretty much everything he does is to prove he’s better than Tony. So, he thinks he’s better than Tony, right?

Well, not really. Because so much of his life was spent with the understanding that he wasn’t better than Tony. That was the whole reason he was gone for so long. He said he’d come back once he’d beat Tony, and... he still hadn’t beaten Tony. The beginning of the narrative leads you to assume that he thinks his big victory was being richer somehow, but it was all a set-up to bait Tony into Dreamvision. He comes across like he wants to kill Tony at first, and when that doesn’t work, he wants to... keep Tony. Like a pet, almost. But he also wants Tony to... kill him?

It’s a lot. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. And that’s kind of what’s interesting about it. It (unintentionally, probably) suggests that Ty doesn’t have consistent motivations, which is something you do see often in people who are in survival mode in environments that don’t necessarily warrant it. It suggests a psychological wound that’s easy to poke at.

Essentially, Ty just comes across as very... hurt. Which, y’know, doesn’t justify shit and doesn’t make him any better of a person, but it provides the opportunity for some interesting narratives to sprout. Figuring out all the ways that Tony could unintentionally pick at this psychological wound of his and all the ways Ty could poorly respond is neat, I think, and I feel like these kinds of narratives tend to be very... raw, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. They just kind of hit hard, especially for those who have experienced similar situations.

It’s just something that’s terribly common in abusive relationships-- any implication that the traumatized abuser is doing something wrong can be a trigger for a borderline nervous breakdown, which makes communication practically impossible and, if the victim of the abuse feels obligated to stick around or take on the role of caretaker, turns the relationship into a cycle of insecurity and misery on all fronts. That’s not to say the abuser and the victim are suffering equally or are equally justified/valid, but it is a kind of relationship dynamic that can be incredibly cathartic to both write and read, and it’s also just... I don’t know. It just, as the kids say, hits different.

So, rewinding about four paragraphs there (whoops, this is getting long), I think most of my feelings about youth/relationship days Ty/Tony kind of center around this concept of two suffering people handling their trauma in totally opposite ways. I think it’s especially interesting to look at it from the point of view of them as younger adults (or teenagers, or children) who aren’t so set in their ways quite yet. You see these redemptive qualities and you see these children and these teenagers who are so, so ready to be helped and saved and cared for, but with the knowledge that they just... don’t get that. Not for a long time, at least.

It can feel fatalistic from a narrative standpoint, and... I mean, it kind of is. There are very few circumstances under which I could see Ty getting a redemption arc of any kind, and that’s kind of what makes a younger Ty so tragic. Everything he does is born of insecurity and anger, and everything Tony does is born of insecurity and love.

I think (for a short period of time, at least), they molded each other. Ty’s anger and competitiveness only solidified Tony’s inferiority complex and Tony’s inability to really, genuinely stand up against Ty in a way that would make any lasting meaningful changes only cemented the idea in Ty’s head that this was an acceptable way to be.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are some more simple and concise headcanons, because you asked for them and I’m sorry this became so terribly long and broke off in so many different directions:

- I think Tony and Ty bickered a lot as they got older. I don’t think Tony was totally incapable of standing up for himself, but I do think Tony probably had a tendency to call Ty out in the moment, and when Ty became too agitated and too unreasonable, Tony just left it alone and let it settle. 

- I think Ty can play house extremely well. He probably remembers all of Tony’s favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite fabrics, favorite... I don’t know what other favorite things you could have, but you get my point. I don’t think he always used this information, but I think it would be incredibly important for him to know how to make someone feel loved, even if he didn’t always employ these methods (and in some cases, may have actively withheld certain kindnesses as acts of pettiness). I think it was also incredibly important for him to know Tony’s dislikes, for... obvious reasons.

- As I said before, I think Ty had a tendency to become terribly dysregulated; I think he was more than capable of both premeditated manipulation and unintentional manipulation. I think he very likely could have fallen into a spiral of thoughts that could make it pretty clear just how easily his self worth and his view of Tony’s worth fluctuated. 

- Tony’s just... a stronger person than Ty. That’s a given. That’s been proven. And I think a lot of Tony’s willingness to put up with Ty would have come from this idea that he was more resilient and Ty was more fragile and volatile, so if Ty needed to take shit out on him every so often, that was fair enough.

- Another factor that may have played into Tony’s tolerance of Ty’s behavior in their youth (which, again, wasn’t nearly as awful as what Ty did as a grown ass man, given how Tony responded to Ty post-Dreamvision and how he pretty much immediately broke things off-- though, I very much enjoy the concept of Tony making some effort to make amends and Ty failing to meet him in the middle yet again) could have been the fact that it feels like Ty probably didn’t have a lot of other friends at all, especially not close friends. I think Tony would very much carry the weight of this “Maybe I’m the only person in the world who loves him” mindset. He values human life quite a bit, and I believe that even on a less intimate scale, if Tony tried to view the situation through the perspective of an outsider, he would still feel terribly, terribly saddened by the very human tragedy of being forced to take more than you can reasonably handle and becoming difficult to redeem as a result of this-- not because there’s no good left in you, but because you’re so frightened by the idea of even touching the trauma that you can’t force yourself to acknowledge you have a problem to begin with.

- I don’t think Ty feels the same comfort and warmth from physical contact that most people do, not because of anything innate (i.e. a natural preference), but because the only physical contact he received for a long, long time was, uh... Awful! That being said, I think he enjoys physical contact on the basis of being the center of attention, and he probably initiated physical contact quite a bit. I think Tony’s very big on physical contact, and Ty would very much play into Tony’s preferences here, too. Just to make himself seem like a better, more attentive boyf.

- This one is less tragic-- I think Ty and Tony get pretentious together! While I adore in-canon comparisons between Tony and the rest of high society, I also think a long-forgotten part of Tony’s character in fanon is the fact that he really does fit in with a more yacht-having crowd just as much as he fits in with your average Joes. He was raised by them and with them, after all, and his education was shaped by this. Of course he doesn’t love a lot of the culture around it, but with regards to the more harmless aspects of being a privileged kid in the environment he was in (the experiences one might have that aren’t inherently negative, that is, like having certain extracurriculars or being exposed to certain educational content), I think Ty and Tony really mesh here. Tony’s sense of humor with Ty would be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Steve, which would also be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Rumiko. Tony’s incredibly well-rounded, and I think he could match Ty’s Classics-loving, borderline classical theater kid tendencies very well.

- This one is 100% headcanon, based on virtually nothing other than, like, one comic panel... that isn’t even awesome evidence. It’s just a personal hc. I think Ty’s gay. Like, obviously, he’s gay for Tony, w/e. But I think Ty’s gay as in, Ty is exclusively attracted to men. The only women he ever had eyes for (or showed interest in) were the women that Tony had shown interest in/dated first, implying that there’s more of a possessive/competitive aspect than anything really... genuine. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t be bi, pan, or anything else (or straight, obviously, but this whole post is about him and a guy he likes to fuck, so that doesn’t really fit into the theme, here), but I prefer to write him as someone who’s only really interested in men (Tony specifically), and I prefer to write Tony as a bisexual man with a preference for women. This wasn’t really intended to be a big contrast between them; I had the headcanon for Tony already set in stone (haha), and for a long while I wrote Ty as a bi man, but recently I’ve kind of shifted things around to better accommodate my feelings about these characters.

- I love, love, love tattooed Ty. Get this man a quote in Latin on the base of his neck. Get this man some symbolic tattoos. Let this man be a poet who simultaneously wants to appear profound for appearances and wants to have these symbols on his body just because he likes them, and he likes to look at them, and they feel reflective of who he is. I have very specific Ty tattoo thoughts that I do not remember at all, but this is the gist of it.

- I think Ty handles the “normal” adventurous stuff, but he’s far more of a, uh... I don’t know, a pussy? than Tony is. Tony deals with actual threats; Ty deals with fake, stupid threats. Ty is the guy who rids the dorms of cockroaches when Tony’s too afraid to and Tony is the guy who handles home invasions.

- I think the vast majority of Ty’s abuse is emotional/psychological, not only because this is what comes most naturally to him and it’s easy for him to fall into these manipulative tendencies without necessarily thinking about it, but also because physical abuse would cross a line for him in his head that would be very difficult to ignore. I think, if you take into consideration how volatile he seems, his flip-flopping back and forth between how he feels about both himself and Tony could become more exaggerated and more severe, possibly leading to an irreversible breakdown of his psyche. I think there could very well be an, “Oh, I’ve become my father” moment if that were to happen, which is exactly why it doesn’t happen. Ty’s too wrapped up in this idea that, so long as he doesn’t cross that line, everything he does can still be justified. Which is garbage.

- Tiberius did not like Sunset Bain. Sunset Bain did not like Tiberius. 

There’s a lot more that comes to mind, but this is already upwards of 30 paragraphs, and I, uh. Do not want to make this longer than it already is! So, do with that what you will.

Again, obligatory note here that this is canon-adjacent and canon-inspired, but not an analysis of canon material in the sense that I’m attempting to pick apart what the intents of the writers were. What canon provides is much more straightforward. These are headcanons, this is for funsies, and a lot of less important background details have been tweaked for the sake of the narratives that I, as a fanfic writer, would like to write and see written.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was legitimately so nice to write. I rarely ever get to spam about this, which is very likely why there’s just so much text every time I receive an ask like this, but. Again, it was very nice and I’m very grateful for you, anon.

[kimannhart]

I was going through my Google Drive and found these two SteveTony WIPs from almost two years ago and figured I’d share. So, here are two SteveTony fics that I will never finish.

~~

He missed him. 

Steve absolutely missed Tony. 

They were absolutely great together. They cherished one another, spent significant amounts 

of time doing things together, and treated each other with a good amount of love and respect. Overall, they were the ideal couple. The one couple that everyone admired. Everything was going great. 

Until it wasn’t. 

~~

A/N: That’s it, that’s the excerpt lmao. The title for that supposed fic is “when the party’s over” so clearly inspired by the Billie Eilish song lmao. 

The next excerpt, “one of us,” is based off of the ABBA song (since fall 2018 me very much felt that, that was a SteveTony song as hell) and was supposed to be occur somewhere right after c*vil w*r in the MCU. This one will be under the cut because it’s a little over 1k.

~~

They passed me by, all of those great romances

Growing up Tony had always admired the relationships he saw around him. Ana and Edwin Jarvis being the main relationship that he absolutely adored—which to many people in the media would probably be surprised to know. 

While in the public eye Maria and Howard Stark maintained the perfect relationship, their relationship behind closed doors was a different story. To Tony, his parents relationship was something that he saw as one-sided. Tony never saw his father cherish his mother the way she should have been. Howard never put in the amount of love and effort into his marriage the way Maria did. So, yeah Howard and Maria’s relationship was definitely not something Tony wanted to model his own on. 

Ana and Edwin on the other hand? That was the type of relationship he wanted to have with his own significant other one day. But as Tony began to grow older, it was clear that relationships were something that Tony was not really good at. 

During his MIT days, practically all of the potential people Tony could have a romantic relationship with was ruined by Tony’s unwillingness to break down his walls and open up to others. Though, in Tony’s defense a good majority of the people that interacted with him only wanted him for his fame and money. Sadly, people never wanted Tony for Tony. 

The only real relationship that Tony ever formed while going to MIT was with his college roommate and best friend, James Rhodes, or Rhodey as Tony loves to call him. And for the longest time Tony had this huge crush on Rhodey, who soon also gained the nickname Honey Bear after being friends for three months. Tony had believed that Rhodey could be the person that he would love and cherish romantically for the rest of his life. Well, that was until Tony found out that Rhodey was straight. That image that Tony built up in his mind was destroyed. So, now Tony is just going to love and cherish his Rhodey in a platonic way. 

Then came along Virginia Potts, better known as Pepper. At first Pepper was someone who Tony was impressed by. Pepper is a genuine person who knows what she wants and never backs down. In other words, Pepper is someone who does no harm—for the most part—but takes no shit. For the longest time, Pepper and Tony were simply just best friends. Then as more time went by feelings for one another grew. Eventually, they decided to turn their friendship into something more. Their relationship worked for a small while. For Tony, he even slowly started to believe that Pepper was his one and only. But as Tony’s commitments to being Iron Man and Pepper’s commitments to Stark Industries grew, they slowly started to drift apart and went back to their old friendship habits. Realizing that they were better off as best friends, both Pepper and Tony decided to break up. 

As more time went on and the multiple failed attempts at dating, Tony had slowly started to believe that he would never find his own significant other. 

Well, that was until S.H.I.E.L.D. presented him with the Avengers Initiative and introduced him to Steve Rogers, or better known to the rest of the world as Captain America. Or, in Tony’s eyes, the man who Howard loved more than his own son. 

You were, I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances

Plagued by their own pasts and issues, the first interaction between Steve and Tony was definitely not the best. Despite that, the two were able to come together and save the world in the Battle of New York. Right after that battle, Steve and Tony interactions with each other were still a bit tense. But, at least they gained a new level of respect for one another.

During the months that followed the Battle of New York, a slow friendship began to blossom between Steve and Tony. Conversations and interactions moved from tense to awkward to decent. 

However, it took the duo months to actually have a fleshed out conversation that was not centered on battle strategies or getting Steve familiar with the twenty-first century. No, that particular conversation involved a sense of vulnerability for Tony in discussing his daddy issues and the resentment Tony had towards Steve growing up. It involved emotions and reminiscing about the past for Steve. By the end of that conversation, Steve and Tony both had shed tears and felt that the conversation was something that they both needed. 

In the months that followed, the rest of the Avengers noticed a change in Steve and Tony. The two were now comfortable with one another and a bit more happier. Clint and Natasha had started to pay more attention to their leaders and noticed that Steve and Tony were playing the ‘Will They or Won’t They?’ game with each other. It was clear to the two super spies that Steve and Tony, or Stony as Clint had dubbed them, had slowly started to develop feelings for each other. But neither of them was willing to take the first step. Natasha figured that they were both afraid to change the still somewhat fragile dynamic between them. Clint had said that they were both oblivious fools and hoped that they got their shit together soon so he didn’t have to bear witness to all the unresolved sexual tension anymore. And thus, Natasha and Clint decided for the sake for everyone, to lock (with the help of JARVIS of course, who too was tired of seeing Sir and Captain Rogers pine for each other) them in the Hulk’s containment room and told them to either fuck out their feelings and move on, or progress their relationship to the next step. 

Thankfully, it only took Steve and Tony a good forty-five or so minutes to actually talk about their feelings and decided that they wanted to take it slow with each other so that they could gradually come to terms with the new change in their relationship. As they were let out of the containment room, Natasha begrudgingly handed a twenty dollar bill to a smug Clint who bet that they would 

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 2

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

 Penny Parker worked, on average, 108 hours a week between three jobs to make ends meet for herself and Peter. His high school, a stupidly expensive private science academy, sucked the majority of her income up each month despite a scholarship. Rent was $1,200 a month, not including utilities. Peter ate like a quintessential teenage boy, which meant a pound of cereal every morning before school and the equivalent in the evenings when he got home from his clubs.

She didn’t sleep much and only had one rotating day off each week. After learning of Peter’s situation with Tony Stark, she slept even less and spent her days off doing any and all research she could into the man and her options for getting Peter away from him. By the time a month had passed since the revelation that her baby brother was being stalked by a super powerful, criminal mastermind pedophile piece of shit, Penny was a wreck of a human being. Even Peter, who was understandably wrapped up in his own head most of the month, had noticed the bags under his sister’s eyes and the harried look she carried about her at all times.

They joked that Penny had taken every bit of chaos from her parents combined genes, somehow managing to leave behind every ounce of intelligence for Peter. She was a walking, talking disaster on the best of days. He’d seen her stick a fork in a toaster, try to mix bleach and vinegar, hell one time she’d come home from work with a sprained wrist because she’d fallen off a ladder stocking some shelves despite the fact someone had been actively holding the ladder to spot her. But this was an entirely new level of disarray from his sister.

Peter could tell that she wasn’t coming up with any solutions that she was happy with. Despite their inside jokes, Penny had a weird sort of intuitive intelligence. She couldn’t do basic math in her head and forget anything to do with science, hell basic reading comprehension could be a trial at times.

What she knew was that Tony Stark had every police department in New York on his payroll, despite the act they put on that “they were doing everything in their power” to gather evidence on the 87 open investigations into him and his company. She knew that he had several politicians under the same thumb, not because it was public knowledge, but because somehow every bill that was put to vote that could be useful to Tony Stark passed into law (or however that sort of thing worked—Penny didn’t understand bills and laws and the senate or whatever, but who really did?).

She knew that the surrounding states were similarly within his range of power. That his companies’ holdings in California meant he had too much control there too. He had holdings in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico as well. It wasn’t public knowledge, but Penny could read between the lines when things seemed too good to be true. Or, too good to be true for one Tony Stark. Everything aligned in a way that was so suspicious, she couldn’t figure out why the FBI or CIA or NSA weren’t on to him too.

In the end, all it meant was that nothing Penny did would really matter in the long run. Tony Stark was infinitely powerful in a multitude of states, rich and influential in a way that one person shouldn’t ever have the ability to be. And Penny Parker had $3,000 to her name and a shitty apartment and an even shittier car. Compared to Tony Stark, she wasn’t even good enough to be dirt.

It meant that she had to be more creative. Penny wasn’t smart, but thinking outside of the usually accepted parameters was kind of her specialty. There was no good way to get Peter away from Tony’s sphere of influence, but there were some ways. Maybe just a single way. A very unpleasant, single way that would rip her heart to shreds. But Penny had decided as a 13 year old that she would do everything she could to keep Peter safe and happy and fuck if she was willing to stop now.

***

“Are you still stalking the webcam feed?” Tony wondered if it was possible to push anymore exasperation into his voice as he walked into the main living room only to find Clint once again watching Peter’s empty apartment on the massive TV.

“Something might happen,” it was the same defense the assassin always used when caught in the act, but Tony knew that the blond actually just wanted to catch a glimpse of Penelope Parker.

In all fairness, even Tony could admit that the young woman was rather beautiful. Where Peter’s skin was milky white and freckled, Penelope had a tan that betrayed her father’s Israeli heritage. She was shorter than Peter, held more weight than her lanky but growing brother. Her hair was long and held a natural wave, the same colour as Peter’s. They had the same eye colour as well, but Penelope’s were more narrow and slanted. It wasn’t Tony’s cup of tea, but he could objectively understand the appeal.

In all honestly, Penelope Parker wasn’t his cup of tea as a person. Every time her name popped into his head, he felt a seething rage begin to build in his chest. Penelope fucking Parker, responsible enough to be deemed guardian of the most precious boy in New York but not responsible enough to actually take care of him.

Back when he thought Peter lived alone off his meager inheritance, the living situation had bothered Tony but not enraged him. After all, sure a teenage boy would be fine living in a shit hole if it fit his budget. But no, his sister was the one who made him live in that rat’s nest. His sister, who worked so often it left poor Peter neglected and alone, was the reason he had to walk through dangerous streets to get home at night. His sister.

His fucking sister.

No wonder Peter hadn’t told him he had a sister. She was probably a fucking monster, as selfish and miserable as the goddamn evil stepsister from Cinderella.

He’d caught enough glimpses of Penelope Goddamn Parker in the last month to last him a life time. She and Peter hardly interacted where the webcam could pick up, although sometimes they caught snippets of audio. Mostly, they witnessed just how addicted to the internet she was. She spent more time on her fucking laptop than she did talking to her own brother.

It drove Tony insane, knowing that the longer he left Peter in her care, the more neglected he would be. His baby boy was trapped in an apartment with an uncaring bitch who spent 90% of her time working and the other 10% ignoring him for whatever bullshit Instagram, Facebook nonsense she was so obsessed with. Tony didn’t even bother keeping a record of her internet history, after the first two days of monitoring had revealed she spent the entire time on Youtube.

“Yeah? And has anything happened in the last, oh, 6 hours since she left for work?”

“No but she should be getting home soon—” Clint winced, having walked directly into the trap Tony set like a dumbass.

“Stop watching the bitch on my TV, all you do is stare down her fucking shirt anyway.”

“The bitch would make a pretty decent lay if you’d give a guy a break.”

Tony Stark did not roll his eyes. Tony Stark was a genius, ran a weapons engineering empire, had the most important politicians in the United States in his back pocket. Tony Stark did not roll his eyes.

So Tony Stark Did Not Roll His Eyes at the blond parked out on his couch with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. No doubt there was a cheap ass pizza on it’s way up the elevator, despite the fact Tony employed some of the best chefs in New York for his private kitchen. Clint Barton was the worst sort of best friend Tony had, but he’d still kill for the dumbass.

“What has Penelope Goddamn Motherfucking Parker done now?” Sam Wilson questioned absently as he walked into the living room from the kitchen, quoting Tony’s general tone of voice when talking about the woman.

“She hasn’t even taken her shirt off where I can see it, can you believe that? Fucking ridiculous. With a rack like that she should be shaking her tits on camera for money daily,” Clint whined in response, gesturing to the empty room on the TV, “I swear she sleeps on that fucking couch almost every night and not once has she undressed in front of the computer.”

“You’re a freak, my dude,” Sam smacked the blond upside the head as he walked past towards the elevator, “Time table still on track, Stark?”

“Steady as she goes,” Tony replied, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, “Where are you going? Movie night starts in 20 minutes?”

Movie night was almost the most ridiculous thing Tony participated in on any given day. His inner circle was made up of the only people in the world he trusted, was made of up assassins and ex-military super soldiers and all sorts of genetically altered freaks, and somehow movie night had become a staple of their existence. To miss a movie night without a doctor’s note or a mission was a crime punishable by near exile in the form of a group silent treatment. Pepper, Happy and Pietro were currently exempt, away on a business trip as executive, body guard, and assistant.

“Just going to change,” Wilson gestured to his workout clothes and shrugged, “need to shower.”

“Now if only we could make you realize that needs to happen more than once a month,” Clint muttered quietly, only to have a dirty shoe nail him in the face a moment later.

The blond fell off the couch with a shout, popcorn flying everywhere as the bowl escaped his grip. Sam, who’s aim was almost as impeccable as Clint’s own, gave the man the finger as the elevator doors closed dramatically.

“You are a disaster of a human being,” Tony commented absently, still watching his phone as the little dot that was his baby boy moved through the city.

He ignored Clint’s protests, flopping onto the couch and making himself comfortable while the rest of the tower’s residents slowly ambled into the communal living room. Bucky and Steve were parked out on the recliner, disgustingly cute and cuddly even from a distance. They, like Clint, had a stupid fascination with fucking Penelope and were watching the webcam feed while they waited for everyone to arrive.

Natasha and Wanda wandered in while chatting, each already having a drink in their hand. Thor, Loki and Bruce all came out of the elevator at the same time, Bruce having come from the labs and the two brothers from the coffee shop on the ground floor of the tower. Sam and Rhodey entered at the same time from the stairwell, both having freshly showered after a long day.

“What are we watching tonight?”

The following argument generally lasted a solid 20 minutes, but Wanda and Natasha won out with a comedy horror they’d all already seen before. It left plenty of room for conversation while the movie played in the background, a deck of cards finding their way onto the coffee table as well.

“So what’s the plan for your boy’s sister, Tones?” Rhodey questioned as Sam dealt cards for their third game of poker of the night.

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to get away from the bitch,” the man grumbled in response as he adjusted his hand, “He’d probably walk right out the front door and leave her in the dust if I asked. I figure I’ll give her an ultimatum: Peter comes with me and she shuts the fuck up, or Peter comes with me and she finds herself in a shallow grave.”

“I think I could draw her tits from memory from how often she’s on her computer and ignoring her brother,” Clint stated, because despite the fact he thought Penelope god awful Parker was hot as all Hell, he knew how much it hurt to have the person who was supposed to care for you most ignore you completely.

Rhodey hummed in agreement, “Maybe we should off her, just in case. I bet she gets some sort of welfare from the state for him and she shouldn’t get to keep raking that in.”

“She shouldn’t get it even while she’s got him,” Natasha stated from over her wine, spread out and lounging on the loveseat closest to the couch, “probably uses it for drugs. It definitely isn’t used for groceries to feed to the poor kid, he looks half starved.”

“Nah, that’s just teenage boy syndrome,” Bucky added a couple of bills to the pot on the coffee table, “Not that I think she’s winning any care taker of the year awards, but I’ve seen that him eat while doing surveillance. Kid could take down a whole ass McDonalds by himself if given the chance.”

“He’s been putting on some weight actually,” Tony felt the corners of his lips tip up in a small smirk, “Muscle mass, one of his friends started dragging him to lift weights on Thursdays.”

“Careful Stark, you get too excited by the thought and you’re gonna pop off in your jeans,” a round of snorts sounded at Rhodey’s words and Tony Stark, Who Did Not Roll His Eyes, gave his friend the finger.

“I say we just go ahead and kill her,” Bruce was focused more on his laptop and the reports there in than the movie, but made sure he always paid attention to the conversation during movie nights, “she’s a liability. It might help Peter adjust too, knowing that she’s gone.”

“And that he has nothing left and nothing to go back to,” Clint added, not mean spiritedly but pointedly and with an exaggerated head tilt.

“He won’t have anything left or anything to go back to,” it was pragmatic and a bit cold, but Steve never pulled his punches, “its best to cut all ties. The more he relies on Tony, the faster he’ll adapt to his new situation. Maybe its manipulative, but this is a weird situation and we might have to get our hands dirty to get him to a good place, mentally and physically.”

“By weird you mean kidnapping a kid?”

“For his own good!”

“Its only kidnapping until he turns eighteen, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how the concept of kidnapping works, Clint.”

“Excuse me, sir,” JARVIS suddenly interrupted, turning on the lights and turning off the movie, “I believe it is important that you watch the webcam footage I’ve been monitoring. The recording begins as of five minutes ago and is still ongoing.”

“Pull it up, J,” Tony ordered quickly, sitting forward on the couch.

Everyone in the room watched in confusion as the TV began to roll on Peter and stupid fucking Penelope sitting in front of the laptop, most likely at the kitchen table. Peter was slightly off to the side, the computer centered more on his sister.

“Penny, please just tell me what you’ve decided on? I’ve been watching you lose your mind for weeks, I know you came up with something last night.”

“You’re… not going to like it Peter,” fucking Penelope’s voice was soft, the laptop microphone too shitty to pick up the quiet cadence well, “If you can think of something better, we’ll go with that. But… I don’t think there’s another choice. I’ve gone through everything I can think of. Try to let me get through this without yelling at me, okay?”

They’d never really seen Peter and fucking Penelope interact before. Most of the time it was just her, on the laptop, all the fucking time. Peter came and went in the background, to and from school and clubs and his friend’s houses, but most of the time she closed the laptop when he was around. They were all a bit surprised by how much affection was in her expression as she looked at her brother. Peter nodded at her, lips already pursed in frustration.

“I’ve been doing as much research as I can on Tony Stark. He’s… God, he’s got more influence than the fucking president. There are entire states in his pocket, Pete. Can you believe that? From what I can figure out, he’s got just about every New York senator on his payroll and don’t even get me started on the police—”

“How’d she figure that out?” Rhodey’s frown was a mixture of concern and irritation, “There’s never been any sort of reporting on your dealings with politicians.”

“I don’t know.”

“The good news is, I don’t think he has any business in Oregon. I’ve looked through as much of the gossip as I can, he’s never spent any significant amount of time there and if I’ve been understanding the weird ass insinuations correctly, his businesses don’t operate in the area.”

“Oregon? Are we gonna go there?” Peter reached out and grabbed his sister’s hands, “I promise, I’m not upset over us having to move Penny, I—”

“Peter, I’m… I’m not moving babe, you are.”

The teenager seemed to draw back slightly, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth dropping open as he searched for words but was unable to come up with any.

“I don’t think you remember them, the last time we saw them was before mom and dad died, but we have second cousins in Oregon, Paul and Olivia. They’re about ten years older than me, with one kid. When I got custody of you, I contacted them. I wanted to make sure that if something happened to me, I had a sure thing lined up for you. It was years ago, but they promised they’d take you in a heartbeat if I couldn’t care for you anymore, for any reason.”

“You… you wanted to give me to them?” Peter’s eyes were full of tears and they watched as Penelope reacted in horror.

“Peter, no! Never! I would never willingly let you go. I was worried, everyone around us was dropping like flies in freak accidents and I couldn’t let you go into foster care if I died. I just wanted to make sure you would have someone if something happened to me.”

“You thought you were gonna die?”

“My birth father died, and then mom and dad died, then uncle Ben, then aunt May. I didn’t want to leave you alone with no one. I didn’t think I was gonna die, I just… wanted to be prepared. Just in case.”

“Why are you bringing them up? And Oregon? What do you mean that I’m moving? Alone?”

Penelope What the Fuck is Happening Parker’s lips pursed, eyes filling with tears. There was a level of sheer pain on her face that was startling for them all to see, especially considering they’d managed to work her up as an unfeeling monster in their heads for fucking weeks now.

“I’ve tried a thousand ways for us both to go, but I just… I don’t have the money saved for us to move. We’d have to break the lease and even if we left with the clothes on our backs, we wouldn’t be able to afford getting to Oregon. The car won’t make it, I can’t afford plane tickets. I wouldn’t be able to afford to get to Oregon. But I’ve figured out a way to get you there.”

“How Penny?” Peter’s was obviously trying to sound stern, but his voice cracked slightly.

“Not tomorrow, but the day after, we’re going to put in an anonymous call to Child Protective Services and claim that I’m abusing you. Neglecting you. They’ll take you out of my custody and send you to Olivia and Paul, since they’re our ‘closest’ living relatives.” Penelope Oh Fuck Parker’s voice was cracking too, tears running down her face as she explained her batshit crazy plan to her baby brother, who they were quickly realizing was far from neglected or abused.

Tony felt his chest tightening at the sight of the siblings, both with tears streaming down their cheeks. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get it so incredibly wrong. Maybe he’d seen what he wanted to see, that his baby boy was easy pickings. That no one really cared for him so it would be easy to sweep him off his feet and spirit him away.

“You’ve never abused me! You’ve never neglected me! How could you even say that, Penny!? Everything you’ve ever done—”

“Peter please, listen,” Penny was nearly sobbing, grasping Peter’s hands tightly with her entire body angled downwards over them, “We have to pretend, okay? We have to pretend because they’ll send you somewhere safe.”

“You’ll go to jail!”

“That’s fine! That’s okay, Peter! As long as you’re safe, I don’t care—”

“You can’t ask me to do this, you can’t ask me to send you to jail, to send you away when you haven’t done anything wrong, ever! I wouldn’t even be able to visit you! I’d be a million miles away and you’d be rotting away in jail because I was too stupid to mind my own business!”

“Peter none of this is your fault,” the tone was so stern and determined as Penny sat straighter in her chair, squeezing her brother’s hands reassuringly even as her chest heaved with grief, “it’s that fucking pedophile, piece of shit Tony Goddamn Stark’s fault, don’t you ever think that you are at all to blame for any of this—”

“I probably deserve at least half of that rage,” Tony stated absently, almost guilty at the word ‘pedophile’.

“Half? Hah!” It was an absent response, more instinct than intention but got the point across even as the entire group was absorbed by the pain playing out on the TV.

“I went to that stupid tower!” Peter wailed suddenly, making Penny go stiff, “After you got that note telling you not to report the assault, I went to the tower because I knew he worked there and I wanted him to suffer. You wouldn’t go to the police because they threatened your family but I thought… It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was stupid and I went to fucking Stark Tower and that’s where he saw me. It’s all my fault.” Peter’s sobbing was viscerally painful to hear, even through the shitty microphone.

“What assault? A note? JARVIS, figure out what he’s talking about!” Tony barked, already on his feet and pulling out his phone, “Give me the surveillance footage from that day, who was my boy here looking for?!”

“As the conversation is roughly five minutes delayed, I took the liberty of deciphering Mr. Parker’s statements already, sir,” the AI stated calmly, “six months ago, Mr. Brock Rumlow of level six security sexually assaulted Ms. Penelope Parker in a club in Queens. In order to prevent any bad press upon the company, a persuasive letter was sent from the Tower’s security to Ms. Parker to ensure her silence on the matter. I assume the day you came across Mr. Parker was the day he arrived to confront Mr. Rumlow over the assault and threat.”

“Find him,” Tony snarled towards Rhodey, who was already on his feet and typing away at his phone, heading towards the elevator, “Alive, Rhodey!”

“I’ll see what I can manage,” the man muttered darkly as the doors shut and he began descending towards level six, leaving the rest of them in the living room.

“He… he saw you… there? Oh, god… Oh god he saw you because you went to the tower, oh my God you went there because of me and he saw you— Oh my God!” Penny’s reaction was so emotionally brutal that it verged on physically violent. Her entire body seemed to lock up for a solid thirty seconds before she threw herself out of the chair and they could hear retching in the background a moment later. Peter was still sitting on the far side of the screen, sobbing into his hands.

Almost five minutes later, Penny ambled back into view. Her face was so pale compared to her usually tan complexion that she looked like a ghost. A fine tremble ran through her entire body, goosebumps visible on her exposed arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter’s voice broke through his sobs, bone achingly sad, “I’m so sorry I did this to us.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, bud,” Penny’s eyes were almost blank, the pain so overwhelming that she couldn’t force any other expression, “I set all of this in motion. I made a mistake and I’m so sorry you’re having to pay for it. I should’ve protected you better, you never should’ve even known what happened, let alone who— it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Everything is going to be okay Peter. We have a plan and everything is going to be alright.”

“You’re going to go to jail, Penny! For a horrible crime that you’d never, ever commit! Because I was stupid and immature and—”

“Stop Peter,” Tony’s eyes watered as Penny gently ran her fingers through Peter’s hair and left it to rest on his cheek, “don’t blame yourself for this. No matter what you did, no matter what choices you made, you didn’t deserve to be frightened and stalked. What’s happening is happening because there’s a man out there with a sick mind, who thinks he can take whatever and whoever he wants for whatever he wants. That’s not on you, babe. That’s on him. And everyone who built him up and let him get to this point.”

She let Peter cry for several minutes and the group in the living room found themselves left to digest the situation to the sound of his sobs. Discomfort ran through all of them, for different reasons. Because they’d judged Penelope Too Good for This World Parker so wrong. Because they were the ones enabling Tony to do something terrible. Because they didn’t actually feel guilty for enabling Tony but they did feel guilty for the pain it was causing the Parker siblings.

“You’ll take such good care of him, Tony,” Natasha said quietly after a moment, seeing the pain in the man’s face, “He’s never going to want for anything ever again. He’s going to live in comfort and luxury for the rest of his life and that’s because of you.”

“He’s scared right now, Tones,” Clint jumped in quickly when it looked like Tony might protest, “They both are and we can’t blame them for that. But once they’re—he’s here, he’ll realize that it’s not a bad thing and that he has nothing to be afraid of. That we’re going to take care of them—him, all of us.”

Mind running at a million times per hour, Tony considered their words. Actually, he considered Clint’s words. Clint’s misspoken statements that implied both Parker siblings would be in the tower. Both of them would be safe and cared for. Both.

“They’ll never want for anything ever again,” Tony repeated quietly, all eyes in the room locked carefully on him, “Peter and Penny shouldn’t be separated.”

“You’ve given up everything for me, Penny,” Peter whispered after his cries calmed, “You dropped out of high school, dropped out of college, started working three jobs so I could go to that stupid school, you don’t sleep, you hardly eat, and I know it’s all for me. I can’t let you give up your freedom, I can’t let you give up anything else for me.”

“Oh my God no wonder she’s so skinny,” Wanda suddenly gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks in continuous rivers, “we thought Peter was skinny, but look at her, look at her collar bones! JARVIS, give me a record of all credit and debit card transactions she’s made in the last month and—” The redhead cut herself off when Penny began speaking again.

“All I want is for you to be happy Peter,” Penny whispered, the blank look in her eyes fading into grief again, “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. You’re everything to me, you’re my baby brother. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, bud, anything.”

“I won’t do it, Penny, I won’t—”

“Yes, you will, Peter,” resolve hardened Penny’s voice and she squeezed her brother’s hands, “You’re going to do as I say. Tomorrow you’re going to go to school and I’m going to call out of work. I’m going to throw most of your clothes away, all of the food in the house. I’m going to switch my stuff for yours, so it looks like I make you sleep on the couch while I take the bedroom.”

“Oh God she does sleep on the couch every night,” Professional Perfect Person Penelope Parker Stalker Clint Barton gasped in horror as he recalled his earlier comment on her sleeping habits and her undressing habits oh no.

“I’m going to trash the place as authentically as I can and I’m… God I’m going to destroy some of your stuff, Pete,” Penny looked pained at the thought, scraping a hand down her face, “But I’m going to transfer all of my savings into your name, so you’ll only be without your stuff for a little while. You can rebuy everything you need once this is over.”

“I can’t take your money, Pen—”

“Hush Peter. I don’t have much saved up, but I’ll put it under your name tomorrow. Now, when I turn 25 in a few months I’ll be able to use my portion of the money mom and dad left us. I’m going to transfer that to you as soon as I can, it should be enough for you to live off of once you turn 18 as long as you use it wisely.”

“Penny, please, you can’t expect—”

“I expect you to do as I say, Peter!” She cut him off with all the flare of a bossy big sister, “I want you to apply to universities outside of the United States. Focus on places like Norway, Australia and New Zealand. Avoid Mexico, Canada and the UK because I think he has business dealings in those countries and I don’t know how long he’ll be willing to search for you, so don’t risk it.”

“How does she know about our business in those places?” Tony threw his hands up in confusion.

“Sir, from what I can gather from Ms. Parker’s search history, she has done her best to track yours and your staff’s movements around the world for the last five or so years by means of social media and gossip blogs—”

“Well holy fuck, who would’ve thought to do that?” Sam’s eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline, “that’s ridiculous, no wonder she was on the laptop constantly.”

“Once you turn 25 you’ll come into your inheritance too. By that time I’ll probably be out of jail but… Peter I want you to leave me alone, okay? We don’t know… we don’t know if Stark will let this go, if he loses you. He might use my location and contacts to find you and I can’t let that happen.”

“You want me to just cut you out of my life forever? Like you’re some horrible monster I never want to see again? I can’t—”

“We don’t have a choice bud,” Penny was quiet, soothing as she ran her fingers over his wrists and hands, “Tony Stark is a dangerous man and he has more connections and money than we could ever hope to fight. The police won’t help us, the law won’t help us. All we have is this plan and I need you to follow it. I need to be able to trust that you’ll follow the plan, so that you’ll be safe.”

“What about you, Penny!? You won’t be safe! You’re always so worried about, about me being safe and happy that you forget about yourself! Do you understand that you’re telling me you want to go to jail? That you want me to abandon you forever?”

Penny seemed to waiver for just a second, as if she might actually let some tiny ounce of selfishness set in and change her mind, before her resolve hardened once again and she stood, putting herself nearly out of frame, “This is happening, Peter. This is the plan. This is what we’re doing. Because I won’t let him hurt you. I will literally do anything to keep you safe Peter, this doesn’t even make a wave in the pool of batshit crazy I’m willing to go if I need to. I love you. Now go to bed, you have school in the morning.”

[ravenforce]

New Dawn

Prompt: "I really loved that story (see you in a minute) and I hope that later you can make the story of Natasha x reader of how their relationship was given until arriving at the battle of Thanos I would love to read it. And I hope you crave your other stories”

Requested by: @ecruzsalaz​

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 8987

Warning/s: Nothing!

A/N: Hey guys! I’m alive! I am so sorry for being AWOL for a while after posting the end of the SYIAM universe. I had a terrible writer's block, I got a new gaming console (Switch), had so many things happening at work before the end of the year, and I’ve been sick. Nothing life-threatening, don’t worry guys but I am back! Thank you for being here.

Also, I proofread this twice but if there are still mistakes that escaped me, I apologize. I hope you guys like it. PLEASE comment and/or message me your reactions. I missed it! xx

PS. I’m not sure if this can be read as stand-alone. If it gets confusing, you might need to read See You In A Minute series first. Please refer to the masterlist on my description. 

*** 

Semi-retirement from fieldwork and mostly working on your lab at the compound is so reminiscent of your days as International Operations Director of STARK Industries. Your time is on your hands to do what matters to you the most and that’s spending time with your family. Anyone who knew you before you joined the Avengers would laugh at the idea of you settling down nicely to family life.

You and Tony were a force of nature, who comes and goes as you both please; leaving satisfied bodies but empty hearts. No one can keep you down long enough to tie you down. You’re always on the move; either galavanting the world using Tony’s private plane or crossing international waters lazily using your own yacht. 

You were brought back to the present when you felt your daughter kick you under the lab table where the two of you are playing chess. You two are the designated people to man the fort while the Starks are in Miami, and your wife went to check up on Laura with Maria, Wanda, and Carol. The old you would have felt bummed to be left behind but spending alone time with your daughter is hands down one of the best use of your time; up there with being in the company of your wife, of course. 

“Where’d you go, mom?” Asya asked as she surveys the chessboard; definitely planning a massacre of your pieces. 

You smiled up at her because even though a lot of people said she looks like you, there are moments where she looks exactly like Natasha. Heaven knows you’re so whipped for both the two. 

“I just thought of how no one from my past would ever tell you married life is where I’m headed.”

“Not even uncle Tony?” she asked as she glances up at you. 

You grinned, “especially not Uncle Tony.”

Asya laughed. She has heard stories from Tony and the others about you, before joining the Avengers and before dating Natasha but she’s never heard your side of the story yet. She moved her King in preparation to make her killer move. 

“Mom, would you mind telling me how you and mom met?” she asked sheepishly. “From your perspective, I mean.”

 You looked at the board for a minute before looking back up at your daughter. “It’s a long story.”

”We have time,” she defended easily. Because you have, Natasha and the others are not gonna be back until tomorrow night. 

You glanced at the clock. “Very well. We should finish this and order some pizza?”

Asya’s eyes twinkled with excitement at the prospect of hearing your story, as well as having greasy delivery pizza for dinner. She immediately hopped off her seat before standing at the side of the table. “Then make your move already mom, we don’t have all night,” she sassed playfully.

Yup, totally just like your wife, Venom said in your head.

You chuckled before moving your piece. “Checkmate,” you said before standing up and walking towards the door of your shared lab.

Asya gaped at the board. She was sure she got you on her hook.

Savage, Venom cheered in your head. You only chuckled to yourself. 

“Coming, love?” you asked innocently. When she looked at you, there was pure adoration in her eyes and maybe a hint of fire. Surely, she’s gonna ask for a rematch in the coming days. After all, she’s yours and Nat’s daughter.

***

Eating at the huge family dining table without the rest of the family home is a tad depressing for both you and Asya. So you two decided to just bring your box of pizza at the front porch.

“Go on mom. I wish to sleep at some point in the night,” Asya sassed as she dabs the pizza with a napkin to rid it of excess oil; a habit she picked up from Nat for sure.

You laughed heartily. “Okay, okay. I met your mother the day I arrived back in Miami,” you started.

Asya knew the basics: how you were basically adopted by the Starks after your parents passed away, how you and Tony are thick as thieves; going to the same university, traveling the world until you two decided to stay in Switzerland for a while. The only time you were basically separated was when Tony needed to run the business in the US and he needed you to stay on top of the business in Europe and Asia.

***

You inhaled deeply as you stood on the pavement in front of Stark Industries Headquarters before squaring your shoulder and strutting inside the massive building. You were immediately met by Dylan an intern who was supposed to escort you to Tony’s office. Dylan blatantly stared at you through the mirrored walls of the elevator. Typical. When the lift stopped at the penthouse, he didn’t step off. 

“Thank you, Dylan,” you said smiling. He looked so surprised that you even bothered to read his nameplate. 

You walked the short distance from the lift to the door and was not surprised to see the most beautiful woman you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Definitely typical since Tony has a knack of choosing the prettiest woman to be by his side. After all, he chose Pepper.

“Hi, I’m here to see Tony,” you greeted politely. You had to reign in the urge to shiver and groan the moment her green eyes met yours. She’s breathtaking that you had to take a moment to compose yourself. You’re Y/N Y/L/N, you reminded yourself. You get girls as pretty as her whenever and wherever you go.

“Name?” she asked confidently, her eyes never wavering. At that moment you knew, this woman, this Natalie Rushman is different from Tony’s previous assistants.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answered.

Natalie looked at her computer. “I’m sorry but you’re not on his scheduled meetings today,” Natalie said matter-of-factly. You tried to pout, and talk your way in but Natalie isn’t one to swoon over you. Not typical!

“Come on, Natalie. I know for a fact that he’s having lunch with Pepper right now,” you said as you walk a few steps towards the door but Natalie was lightning fast on her feet and already blocking your path. 

“Take one more step,” she warned you.

You were right, this woman is something else because, at this point when you’re this obnoxious, Tony’s previous assistants would do only two things. One, they will faux put up a fight but let you in any way. Two, they will call security on you. So far, Natalie has done none of that. 

You cocked your head to the side. “Or what?” you challenged her by stepping right into her personal space. 

Natalie looked into your eyes before she shoved you and pin you against her table, which causes some of her things to fall and make a ruckus on the floor. She wasn’t really hurting you but her grip is strong and she’s clearly capable if you pushed her one more time. Any other time someone pushes you, you would have been mad but instead, you just started laughing. Natalie looked at you like you’ve grown another head but she didn’t let you go. 

“First meeting and you’re already tied down,” Tony snickered from the door where he and Pepper are standing to check on the noise. You groaned at the fascinated look of your friends' faces.

Natalie let you go. You stood up and started straightening your navy three-piece suit. 

“Fuck off,” you said before walking towards the pair.

“Not you though,” you said to Pepper before giving her a familial kiss on the cheeks. 

“Welcome home,” Pepper said before shooing you and Tony inside. When the door closed, Pepper walked towards Natalie who was suddenly feeling self-conscious. 

“Who was that?” she asked quietly after picking up all her stuff from the floor.

“That’s Tony’s best friend, his little sister. She has level 10 access to Tony too.”

“Shit,” Natalie cursed under her breath.

“Don’t worry she’s cool. Sometimes, even cooler than Tony,” Pepper said before walking away laughing.

***

“Mama pinned you on your first meeting?” Asya asked before breaking into fits of giggle.

“Stop! It wasn’t that bad,” you said as you throw the pizza box on the bin.

Asya walked back to the house on the reverse so she can look at you. “I’m sure it wasn’t, mom. It’s very romantic,” she said teasingly. 

Very, Venom decided to chime in and gang up on you. 

“I had enough of your sass, missy. You better run,” you mock threatened her. Asya squealed before running off inside the house. You laugh hard before walking leisurely after her. 

***

After checking that all the doors were locked and activating the night security protocol, you walked back to the common living area only to be met by a flying pillow right in your face. You let out a very dramatic fake gasp and caught the pillow in your hand. When you looked at your daughter, already looking comfortable on her very own blanket fort.

“What happened next?” she said while wiggling her toes at you.

You held up a finger before running upstairs and rushing through your nightly routine. After exactly, ten minutes, you came down with your matching silk pajamas.

“Finally,” Asya groaned dramatically but smiling.

***

The second time you met Natalie, you didn’t expect it to be at S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters where Fury is introducing you to the Avengers as the new recruit. She doesn’t look happy to see you there. She looked like she wanted to protest your credentials but was polite enough not to do so in front of everyone. Tony was so happy when he found out Fury accepted your application at S.H.I.E.L.D. It’s the least you can do since you failed at convincing your best friend not to join a ‘superhero initiative’.

Pepper still wasn’t happy by your “alternative solution”, saying how now she has to worry for two. Fury deemed that two heads like Tony Stark are better than one. Hence, why he accepted you at S.H.I.E.L.D. Afterall, you were the one who helped Tony synthesize the new element to stabilize and upgrade the Iron Suits. Your job at S.H.I.E.L.D is mainly at labs, helping build new weapons for the agents and the Avengers. 

Word travels fast even in a secret organization. People at the labs kept wondering why you’re in there with them when you can be out there with the Avengers. A conversation that came up once when you decided to take a break at the same time as everyone. It was a bright and sunny day, the lab rats decided to eat a snack at the outdoor sitting area when the quinjet landed on the distance. Everybody watched you watch the plane come to a full stop. 

“They said you grew up with Tony Stark. They said you’re as smart as him,” the one named John said. 

You turned to him. “Is there a question in there?”

A younger man, named Carl, smiled. “They said you have a black belt in jiujutsu and mixed martial arts as well.”

"I still don’t hear any question,” you said smiling before taking a sip of your coffee. 

“I guess what they were getting at is why are you in the labs with us?” the only other woman in your lab team, Hailey, asked. “You can be one of them with that credentials,” she continued, nodding towards the direction of the quinjet. 

It’s not a new question; you’ve heard variations of it a lot of times when you were growing up with Tony. And the answer has always been the same. “Someone has to look after his back.”

They all cocked their heads to the side. “You can’t watch someone’s back if you’re too close to them. I’m better at protecting him from here; where I can see clearer.”

Your team was surprised that you’re foregoing the fame that comes with standing side-by-side Tony Stark. Then they all nodded, newfound respect shining in their eyes.

“Besides, I’m really not good at limelights. That’s Anthony’s thing, I’m more of the fly-under-the-radar type,” you continued lightly. 

“You mean you’re the lab rat type,” John joked cautiously but relaxed when you broke out into a belly laugh.

***

The third time you saw Natasha was in the training room. A part of the being a S.H.I.E.L.D agent was to know how to fight. Even though you have a background on different fighting styles, you still pushed yourself to train harder. You found out a long time ago that you liked training in private and that’s how Nat found you punching and kicking at the bag until it broke open. She stole your file from Maria, she knows your credentials but something about you irks her. 

“What did the bag do to you?” Nat asked from the doorway in lieu of a greeting. 

You looked up at the sound of her voice and you smiled at her when you spotted her leaning against the doorway. Nat thought your smile was charming but she wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that. 

"Good morning, Agent Romanoff,” you said before picking up your water bottle and chugging the contents of it.

Nat didn’t mean to but she followed the movement of your throat, down the curve of your neck to your tracksuit covered chest. You coughed to catch her attention. When she looks up she didn’t know whether she wanted to punch or kiss the smug look off your face. So what if you caught her blatantly checking you out?

“Training at this hour?” she asked holding your eyes. She’s Natasha Romanoff, she’s not gonna be intimidated just because you’re super cute. 

“Yes, I woke up early for a conference call in Geneva. I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I thought I might as well just start early," you explained.

You tried not to vomit the words but failed spectacularly. Nat thought it was adorable as she watches you wrap a protective bandage against your bruising hand.

“You’re still working at Stark Industries?” she asked impressed. 

“Technically, yes. I’m a member of the board and consultant. I mostly only work with Pepper and Tony now,” you answered.

Something about Natasha renders you unable to give simple answers, it annoyed you. When she didn't say anything else, you took it as your queue to leave. You’ve heard how the Black Widow likes her space, keeps to herself and not one who gets chummy with agents. 

“Do you want to train with me?” Nat asked.

Something about her voice gave away her hesitation. You looked at her bewildered at first but you grinned before dropping your bag and joining her in the mat. 

Nat didn’t show it but she was glad you decided to stay. In the few minutes that you were talking, Nat found herself wanting to get to know you better. She did her own research on you because she thought you’re just another billionaire, philanthropist, playgirl but you proved yourself different. You’re modest and don’t brag about your lifestyle. In the weeks that she has observed you, Nat found that you’re also infinitely funnier than Tony. 

***

Time flew by the moment Nat started throwing punches, as well as directions on how to fight better. One cat scratch on your eyebrow and a busted lip later, people started pouring in the training room for their morning exercise including Steve and Clint.

“Get those injuries cleaned and checked out at the infirmary,” Nat said before hopping off the mat and passing both boys on her way out. You didn’t see it but Nat narrowed her eyes at them, which made both of them chuckle before turning to you. Clint came over to you first, introducing himself formally.

“You got a death wish or something?” Clint asked lightly, his eyes alight with mischief.

You cocked your head to the side, not understanding the line of questioning.

“No one asks Natasha to spar or train, ever. She’s the learn-from-your-failure kind of teacher,” Clint continued chuckling.

You shouldered your bag. “I didn’t ask her to train. She did,” you said before smiling and walking back to your room to shower.

Clint blinked once, twice before he caught Steve’s eyes who clearly heard what you said. They both started grinning at each other, the same thought running in their head.

***

It’s like the world tilted off its axis ever since Nat found you in the training room. Since then you’ve been seeing her more like she stopped actively avoiding you. While you made strides befriending Steve, Clint, and Bruce; Natasha still needed a little work but that was okay. You were willing to wait until she’s ready. 

It was enough that she works out with you every morning when she’s not out on a mission. It was enough that she trains you to become a stronger, faster, better agent than you already were. Coupled with your smart weapons inventions and deadly fighting skills, Fury even lets you officially join Agent Hill’s tactical team.

Nat was secretly so proud yet madly worried when you go on missions without the Avengers because she likes having your back and vice versa. You make a deadly efficient team; dare she say better than she is with Clint. She tries not to dwell so much on what it means, or what it means when her heart race when you get injured in battle, or what it means when her breath caught in her throat when you smile at her but Clint won’t let her. Clint takes it upon himself to bug Natasha, in private, to inspect these feelings. 

“If you ask me, I think you may have a crush,” he said one time after you all got back from a joint mission in Sokovia. Fresh off the shower, and lounging on Nat’s bed Clint waited for her to finish drying her hair.

Even over the sound of the dryer on her hand, Nat heard him. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought and begrudgingly, she knows that her best friend was right. After all, he was one of the few people who know her best but he doesn’t need to know that, did he?

“Thankfully, I’m not asking you,” she said after exiting the bathroom and flopping down beside Clint. 

Clint laughed hard and rolled onto his back. Seeing this side of Natasha makes him happy.

***

Steve figured it out next. Thankfully, he isn’t as nosy as Clint but it still annoys Nat when she sees him smiling every time he sees her talking to you.

Bruce found out after Clint not-so-subtly elbowed her when you entered the compound in crisps red three-piece suit and whispering business with Tony. You two were so engrossed with looking at your tablets, you both didn’t notice the rest of the team watching. You only noticed them on your way out. So you waved goodbye, Nat may or may not have stared at your ass as you exit the room. 

“Close your mouth, Natalia. It’s very unbecoming,” Tony whispered on Nat’s ear. Nat groaned before averting her eyes and turning around to face Tony’s very smug face. 

At that moment, she knew she was doomed but she’s not gonna fold to Tony Stark; no matter what. 

“Not a word, Stark,” she warned. 

“What? I haven’t said anything yet,” Tony defended. 

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“What? I think you like my sister?” Tony challenged playfully. Nat only glared at him before opening the magazine she stopped reading the moment you walked in looking like a dream. 

“I mean, how can I blame you? She’s perfection. She’s smart without being annoying like me, she’s beautiful, funny and above all, loyal.” Tony said solemnly

Nat glanced up at him. At least, they can agree on some things. 

“I…” Nat started. Tony held her eye, definitely waiting for her to lie and deny his accusation. “I do but keep your mouth shut or I’ll cut your tongue.”

Tony smiled amidst the definitely real threat as he sees the genuine fondness that’s usually absent in the cool, collected Black Widow’s eyes. He resolved to keep his mouth shut, for the moment, at least. 

***

Nat was so sure one of the boys would rather out the moment they get you alone but a few weeks after the confrontation with Tony, Nat can see no change in your behavior whatsoever to indicate that someone squeaked. She’s secretly grateful because the last thing she wants is for your budding friendship to turn awkward just because of a schoolgirl crush. 

‘It’s just a crush’ has become Natasha’s personal mantra that she recites in her head every time you so much as smile at her while passing the corridor. And while Nat resolved to do absolutely nothing about her feelings, the universe seems to have a different plan. The following weeks, the universe launched into a series of events that helped Nat ease into accepting that she has indeed fallen in love with you

First, Fury sent you and Tony on a tandem mission in an undisclosed location, which launches Nat into a full-blown panic.

“Agent Romanoff,” Fury said first.

Nat didn’t back down on her demand to send Steve or her or anyone as back up. Fury watched his other sort of adoptive daughter quietly and carefully. Nat tried not to squirm under the scrutinizing gaze of the only father figure she has in her life. Fury smiled eerily when he caught up. Maria tried not to chuckle but failed. 

“Agent Y/L/N is more than capable of completing a simple mission,” Fury finished before turning on his heel and walking away. Before he leaves, he looked back at Natasha. “Stand down Agent Romanoff, that’s an order.”

Nat huffed and kicked her boot down on the concrete floor. Steve, Clint, and Maria exchanged worried yet amused looks across each other. “Sit down,” Steve gently dragged her over one of the chairs in the command center. 

“She’ll be fine. Y/N is not only a good fighter but she’s also a genius,” Clint tried to assure Nat but nothing can make her sit still.

She worries about you, she worries that Tony will be too distracted to watch your back properly and she wouldn’t be there to protect you. Nat tried to reason to herself that the burning need to protect you is because you’re a part of their team, and she protects her team. 

***

A few hours passed and Nat couldn’t stay and do nothing. She stood up and walked towards the same exit Fury went through. Steve caught her arm. “Where are you going?”

Nat pulled her arm back, “I can’t stay here Steve! I will find her and make sure she comes home to me.”

Everyone smartly decided not to comment on that one. They all understand that having romantic feelings for someone is really foreign for Natasha. It’ll be suicide to push her. 

“Fury gave you an order,” Steve, ever diplomatic, said. 

“Fuck what Nick said,” Nat nearly yelled before taking a few stomping steps back. 

Back away from the door and completely caught up in her worry and fighting with Steve, Nat didn’t see you and Tony step inside the room. 

“Woah! Language,” Tony said then smiled at everyone before walking directly to where Fury keeps his precious Scotch. 

“Miss me, Agent Romanoff?” you asked cheekily. 

Nat felt all the stress of the past few hours leave her body the moment the sound of your voice entered her ears and registered in her brain. She turned to look at you, and you greeted her with a warm smile. You were surprised when Nat stormed towards you, looking royally pissed. You were prepared for a slap in your arm for whatever it is she’s pissed at you for but it didn’t come. She immediately pulled you into a hug before she can talk herself out of it. 

This isn’t the first time Nat touched you. Ever since you’ve started training together, Nat seems to always find a reason to touch you. May it be holding your hand a little longer after helping you up from the mat or laying her head against your shoulder as you both try to get your breathing back after some intense sparring session or touching the ends of your hair whenever you’re sitting close together on movie nights. All these touches though are done in relative privacy; not like this, not where the Avengers and half of S.H.I.E.L.D are there to watch. 

You smiled before wrapping your arms around her strong frame. If you were being honest, the mission was easy but you’re bone-tired after that ambush at the end of your mission. Clint cleared his throat, and Nat pulled away slightly but only to assess your physical well-being. She frowned when she noted your dirty suit, the small cut on your eyebrow, and your busted lip. 

“I’m okay,” you whispered without breaking eye contact.

She didn’t answer, she just runs the pad of her thumb across your busted lip before kissing you. 

***

“What?” Asya yelled, interrupting your story. The two of you are lying on your back inside her makeshift fort. “She kissed you first?”

“Yes. She did,” you answered. She looked so surprised for a second before she broke into a laughing fit.

“I guess, legends are just that; legends,” Asya said merrily after getting a hold of her sanity back.

You gasped. “Hey! Have you seen your mama?” you asked in mock offense.

Asya smiled at the dreamy look on your face. She secretly loves how much you love Natasha, even after all the time you’ve been together, and apart. It was impressive.

“She’s as breathtaking as the day I met her,” you said softly. “How would I know someone like her can like someone like me?”

Asya rolled to her side and lay her head on your chest. “You’re an idiot, mom.”

“Already? I thought I was just getting to that part,” you said before kissing her forehead.

***

You still haven’t figured out if it’s lucky that Fury officially made you an Avenger after that tandem mission with Tony a week prior or a curse because now, you have to move in on the compound with the rest of the team and deal with the boys’ teasing and being around Nat more often. Speaking of Nat, you hadn’t seen her for a week after she kissed you in the command center where everyone - literally everyone - saw. Maria said Nat asked Fury to send her on a mission. 

‘So, she’s avoiding me,’ you thought.

An ache blooms in your chest when you think of Nat regretting that kiss but the time you spent training with Nat every morning taught you that she’s not good with feelings. Her history, her past, taught her that love is for children. She didn’t become the legendary Black Widow by being soft and loving, she became the Black Widow by being deadly. So you resolved not to push her, as well as not push your feelings towards her. She will come around if she wants to. 

***

You and Nat saw each other exactly thirteen days after the kissing incident. You weren’t planning on counting but you did because you missed being in her company. It just so happened that you’re both busy people; she’s out there saving the world most of the time and you? Well, you’re juggling being an Avenger, a S.H.I.E.L.D lab rat, and a member of the board for Stark Industries. So you don’t exactly have a lot of time either. It took thirteen days before the universe, Fury and your schedules permitted you both to be in the same room for more than just two minutes. 

It was midnight, you were walking the halls of the Avengers compound to your room when you heard groaning and sobbing inside Natasha’s room. Panicked that someone was able to slip inside everyone’s defenses and attack Nat, you opened the door and went inside her room with your gun in your hand. When you step in, Nat’s seating up on her bed alone. You checked her surroundings first. When you were positive you two are alone, you holstered your gun and called out for her. 

“Tasha,” you whispered softly as not to startle her but she didn’t make a move to acknowledge you. 

You walked in front of her. Only then did she blinked and looked at you. It must be a nightmare, you though; based on the beads of sweat on her forehead, the sheets balled up on her fist, quick breathing and unfocused eyes.

“Y/N?” she asked as softly. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay, you’re safe,” you tried to assure her but she only started shivering at your words. You sat beside her and pulled her in a hug. You continued to rock her gently and whisper words of assurance until her breathing slows and her heart rate came back to normal. 

When Nat pulled back, you stood up to let her get back to sleep but she held on the hem of your suit like a little girl. You look at the fingers holding you in place and then back to her face a couple of times before she said something. “Can you sleep here with me?” 

 It took you a couple of seconds to figure that Nat wasn’t joking. You smiled before motioning her to lie down. She watched you peel away the layers of your suit. Had it been a different setting, you would have died from the intensity of the way she looks at you. Stripped down to your polo shirt and trousers, you started to climb her bed, only for a soft fabric to meet your face. 

“Lose the pants and change into that. It’s more comfortable,” she explained. 

“You buy your own Black Widow merch?” you teased her as you change the shirt she gave you. 

Nat groaned playfully, averting your eyes as you start to undress in front of her shamelessly. “Yeah, a drawer full of it. I can’t resist quality,” she said casually. 

 “Well, you’re right. This shirt is really comfortable,” you answered after plopping down next to her. 

“Told you,” she said before rolling on her side and scooting over until her back touches your front. 

You’ve cuddled some in your lifetime, you can take the hint. You figured that taking hints is especially crucial to any kind of relationship with Natasha. So you learned how to read her earlier on, or at least try.

Safe and secured in your arms, Nat couldn’t help but sigh blissfully at the warmth emanating from your body, the feel of your arms around her torso, your chin on her shoulder, and your breathing against her ear. 

“Thank you,” Nat half whispered half moaned. 

Feeling emboldened, you kissed her shoulder. Thankfully Nat didn’t freeze at the contact. “From here onwards, know that you have me; always.”

Nat sighed. “It’s the red room,” she said simply. Something about the moment made it easy for Nat to open up. 

Unconsciously, you tightened your hold against her. You’ve heard third-person accounts of the red room but never from the source. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I do,” Nat sighed out before turning in your arms and resting her head against your chest. She sighed once again before launching in the story of the red room. The sky outside her window was starting to turn purple when Nat finished telling her story and drifted off to peaceful slumber in your arms. 

***

You noticed that after the nightmare fiasco, Nat is a little easier to approach than usual. She’s even more open to hanging out with you since then, which you didn’t mind because you love spending any time with her. May it be going on coffee dates (as Nat loves calling it) or training like a madwoman in the gym or sneaking out of the compound in the middle of the night to drive and get a midnight snack.

You absolutely love spending time together and getting to know each other in the process. You tried your hardest to slow down your descent to imminent heartbreak but you knew at that point that it was useless. You knew that even though you’ll only get heartbroken because Nat couldn’t possibly like a nerd like you, you’ll do it over again. Over and over and over again, if it meant you’ll always be by her side.

Unbeknownst to you, Nat had the same internal struggle about how someone like you can’t like a killer like her. She didn’t try to shove down her feelings they way she always does though. She tried but it was too late; her feelings for you sneaked up at her like an assassin. Of course, she knew she was attracted to you when she kissed you a couple of weeks ago but it was only after the nightmare incident that she allowed herself to want you for more than just carnal reasons. 

You started to become a steady presence in her life, more than just a teammate. While kissing you in front of the whole team and S.H.I.E.L.D was a grand spur of the moment decision, one that she doesn’t regret, she lives for the little moments as well. She loves the way you seem to remember small details like how she takes her coffee, or the way you subtly take care of her by always cleaning her weapons too before going on missions, or the way you always pack a spare jacket just in case you finds yourselves on the eye of climate change. She loves the way you easily make her feel safe and calm. She loves the way you weren’t shy to deviate from the headstrong, broody character everyone knows you are and make a fool out of yourself just to make her laugh.

***

The only problem was, you both suck at talking about your feelings, let alone admitting them. You had the same but lowkey reputation with women like Tony, and she’s the Black Widow; Miss love-is-for-children. Everyone tried to help both of you confess; Tony and Maria tried to help you tell Natasha your feelings while Steve and Clint tried to help Nat ask you out but the world seems to have a crisis every time one or both of you decides to make a move. 

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something,” Nat sighed as she walks to the quinjet after being called for a mission with Steve and Clint.

“I never pegged you to believe in signs from the universe,” Clint teased lightly.

Steve narrowed his eyes but Clint was never scared of Nat’s wrath. Besides, Nat was too distracted to be offended.

“Let’s just finish this shit as fast as we can,” Nat replied offhandedly while buckling herself in.

“We haven’t even left yet,” Steve said. Lips tugging upwards subtly. He likes seeing this side of Nat. 

“I know, and I miss her already.”

***

“Wow,” Asya burst out; interrupting your story, again. “You two are,” she paused to search for the right word in her vocabulary.

Saps! Venom supplied.  

Asya giggled. “Correct! You two are saps!”

You don’t know the half of it, child, Venom complained. It’s disgusting.

You laughed so hard, the walls of your makeshift fort shook.

***

The team tried to finish their assignment as fast as they could but it still took them five days. Five days with no communication with you made Nat almost jumped out of the quinjet the moment its tires hit solid ground. Clint and Steve just chuckled as they watch Nat power walk towards the compound. When they caught up with her, Nat’s frowning so hard on her phone. 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked tentatively. 

“Y/N’s not home,” Nat replied, clearly disappointed.

Before anyone can say anything Nat’s phone alerted her of a new message. Nat’s frown only deepened. 

“I’m gonna guess. Not Y/N?” Clint asked teasingly.

Nat locked her phone before putting it on her back pocket. “No, it’s Maria. She said they’re at Stark Stadium. They need us to fill the Starks team.” 

A couple of S.H.I.E.L.D agents passed by. “Let’s check it out. Agent Johnson said, Agent Y/L/N’s team is hot,” one agent said, not realizing that the three Avengers were on the other side of the room. 

“What do you expect? Agent Y/L/N is hot,” another answered. The other two laughed. 

Nat gritted her teeth before clearing her throat to announce her presence. The agents turned around so fast, the boys wondered if they had whiplash. 

“Don’t you have better things to do, agents?” Nat said sternly.

The three agents gulped, nodded and scuttled away like ants on fire. Natasha watched them until they disappeared in the corner. 

“Calm down, Nat. I’m sure they’re not that hot,” Clint tried to assure her as he stirs her to the direction of the garage.

***

Clint gulped when she saw who you were teammates with. 

“Not hot, huh?” Nat said eerily calm as she watches you with your team.

Out of your S.H.I.E.L.D uniform, and in your black and red number 13 jersey you looked so much younger, more carefree. Nat smiled internally. She realized that as much as leather-clad Y/N is hot, she much prefers you on casual clothing because you look happier. 

“How am I supposed to know Y/N’s friends with a lot of stunners?” Clint defended with a pout.

He knows there’s a flaw in his defense. Of course, you’ll be friends with a lot of beautiful people; you’re basically brothers with Tony Stark. You’re smart, funny, and beautiful too. Naturally, people gravitate toward you. 

Nat put her hand up to silence Clint. Clint and Steve followed her gaze back towards the field where a certain blonde, wearing the same black and red uniform jogged towards you and tackled you in a hug. Nat watched as said blonde didn’t let go, and worst of all casually planted a soft kiss against the side of your face; dangerously close to your mouth. 

“That’s Sara Lance, heiress to Lance Corp in Star City. Y/N’s last real ex-girlfriend,” Maria suddenly spoke beside her. “Also, I’m sure you’d like to know, she declared she came here to win Y/N back.”

Nat balled her fist before walking towards Tony’s side of the pit.

***

“Give me a uniform,” Nat demanded. 

Tony laughed so hard, you heard it from across the field.

“I had a feeling you’ll want to be on my team,” he said before handing Nat a shirt with your last name on it.

Nat quirked an eyebrow. 

“How am I supposed to know you’re coming back in time for the game? This is Y/N’s new uniform but she insisted on wearing her old one. So you can have this one,” Tony explained. 

 Steve face-palmed at the sheer dumb excuse but also the ingenuity of it. Stark has a parent-trapping game, Steve can give him that.

***

The game was supposed to be a ‘friendly’ match between the two tech giants but for some reason that escaped you, it was intense from the start. Sara refused to be subbed by Maria and played head to head against Natasha, which you definitely didn’t know played soccer.

“I didn’t know you play,” you panted out as you run the ball towards the goal with Nat running close beside you. 

“You don’t know a lot of things about me,” Nat said as she tries to run and tackle you.

You scrunch your brow together but didn’t stop running. Before Nat can make try to take you down again, Sara came barrelling towards her; allowing you to run freely to your goal. 

Score for Lance Corp! Amaya, Zari and Gideon crowded towards you. So you were unable to see Nat and Sara glaring at each other as they dust their uniforms off. 

“So, you’re the Natasha Y/N can’t stop talking about,” Sara said candidly. “I’m Sara Lance, Y/N’s girlfriend.”

“Ex-girlfriend,” Natasha said deathly calm but Sara was never known to be easily scared.

Sara smirked. “Maybe but not for long,” she said confidently before running away to join your little group hug. 

Nat frowned deeper as she watches Sara pull your body against her lit form and you seemingly unperturbed about it. 

“Take her word seriously,” Tony said suddenly from behind Natasha. “If Lance is here to take Y/N back, she will do it. She’s smart and tenacious. So, play your cards right.”

“Play your cards right? That’s your advice?” Steve questioned incredulously. “I think you should just ask her out after the game.”

“Trust me, Y/N can’t be wooed by flowers, chocolates, and fancy dinner. People tried,” Tony said after rolling his eyes. 

Maria sighed, which prompted everyone to look at her. “Got unsolicited advice for me, Hill?” Nat asked teasingly. 

“Stop running away,” Maria said as she stood and get ready to get back on the field. “You kissed her and then disappeared for a week. You made her feel like you didn’t want her.”

The three gaped and watched the elusive Deputy Director as she runs back to the field and high-five you. Steve patted Nat’s shoulder before jogging back in too.

“I guess Hill trumps all our advice. Now come on, we have asses to kick,” Tony relented. 

***

The game ended with Stark Industries winning, Nat wanted to gloat but none of the Lance Corp women seem to mind losing at all. 

“Congratulations,” you whispered behind Nat. Nat tried to suppress the shiver but it was too late, she knew you saw it by the smirk on your face. She smiled at you. 

“Thanks. This would have been more fun if you played in our team,” Nat said crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

You shook your head. “You don’t mean that. I know you like that you bested me,” you said smiling. 

Nat glanced at you before grinning. “You’re right. I did,” she admitted. 

Your heart seemed to flutter every time Nat smiles at you like that. You wanted to say something, you wanted to pour your heart out to her at that moment but Sara yelled for you. Nat sighed heavily, and you gave her a sheepish smile. Sara yelled your name again, now louder and closer. Before you turned around you, Nat reached out and held your hand. 

“Lance, stop yelling. I heard you the first time,” you said casually.

Sara ignored you and zeroed in on your joined hand. You tried not to squirm as the two sized up each other. Suddenly the room felt too quiet.

“Did you need anything urgent, Lance?” Nat snapped.

Sara peeled her eyes off your hands in Natasha and smiled sweetly. “Care to show this girl a good time?” 

Nat rolled her eyes as Sara blatantly ignores her and flirts with you. You wanted to say that the city only became fun when you met Natasha. You wanted to tell Sara that fun isn’t about drinking yourself to stupor anymore, or getting high on your boat while you two cross the Atlantic. Instead, fun is making breakfast together with Natasha, training and kicking each other’s butt in the gym, sneaking out in the middle of the day to get a massage with Natasha, napping and cuddling Natasha, going on coffee dates with Natasha. 

You wanted to say all that but your friends from Lance Corp came all the way from Star City to spend time with you and Tony. The least you both can do was show them a good time. You caught Tony’s eyes behind Sara, he smiled at you. The kind of smile that says, ‘I got a plan’. Sara caught the interaction and she knew they’re in for a long night. 

“Get ready to party, Lance,” you said grinning.

***

The Avengers are not new to Stark parties. What they - especially Natasha - wasn’t ready for was you on party mode wearing the skinniest leather pants, tight black backless halter top, and boots. You arrived fashionably late with Maria. 

“Mission accomplishes, agent,” Maria whispered as she watches Nat and Sara practically drooling the moment they laid eyes on you. You ducked your head to hide the faint blush creeping up to your neck and cheeks. Dressing up was Maria’s idea. 

Nat was about to stand and walk towards you but Sara beat her to it.

“Patience, little spider,” Tony sat crossed leg beside Nat the moment Maria joined their table without you.

Nat turned to look for you and she nearly crushed the glass on her hand when she saw you dancing with Sara. It doesn’t help that Sara’s not only standing way too close but she also has her hand secured against your hips. Sara caught Nat’s eyes from across the dimly lit ballroom. It almost took every ounce of her self control not to go there and claim you but she didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. 

 Nat breathed in deep before taking a swig of her drink. Tony’s right, she has to be patient. Unfortunately for Nat, Sara was planned to monopolize you all night. Two hours after you arrived but Nat still hasn’t had the chance to at least talk to you. She had to step out.

***

When Nat opened the door to the back of the club, she was surprised to see you leaning casually on the adjacent wall; a bottle of water in hand. 

“Took you long enough,” you chirped before opening the bottled water in your hand. 

Nat scrunched her eyebrows. “What? How?” she stuttered out. 

You smirked at her over the rim of the water bottle. “You’re not the only stealthy one, Tasha,” you said an octave lower than your speaking voice. 

Nat bristled, “I thought you were with Sara?” She didn’t even try to hide the edge and tightness in her voice. 

“I was then I missed you,” you said earnestly before walking towards her.

You left two feet between you. She didn’t say something for a minute, she just continued to frown at you. 

You studied her for a minute before you decided that Nat’s really not in a bad mood. “Aw, are you jealous?”, you teased lightly. 

Nat frowned deeper. The blatant ‘no’ is at the tip of her tongue but she didn’t want to lie, not to you; never to you. She held your eye before whispering a breathy, “yes.”

You stood toe-to-toe with her. You cupped her face on both of your hands. Nat held her breathe. “There’s nothing to be jealous about, Tasha.”

Nat couldn’t help it any longer. She pulled you by your hands on her face and wrapped you in a hug. You chuckled before wrapping your arms around her steady shoulders. 

“I love you, Y/N,” Nat blurted out.

She expected you to freeze at the mention of the words. After all, you’re both allergic to love but it didn’t come. You stayed relaxed in her arms, and she can feel you smiling over her shoulder. She pulled back a little to look at you. 

“I love you too, Tasha,” you said before planting a soft kiss on her cute nose. Nat chuckled, had it been anyone else, she will be annoyed but can’t with you. “Now, let’s go eat. I’m hungry from all that dancing.”

Nat watched you walk out of the alley and into the street for a minute before jogging up to you. “Wait, does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” you heard her call after you. 

“Hurry up or this will be the shortest relationship ever,” you joked.

Nat mocked gasped after catching up to you, just in time for a cab to sidled next to both of you. You were about to reach for the cab door when Nat pulled you back and pulled you in for another bruising kiss. 

The cab driver rolled his eyes playfully but waited for both of you nonetheless. 

‘Ah! Love’, he thought to himself and smiled. 

The kissed lasted for a minute. Only breaking away from each other after the need for air persisted. You peered at Nat’s eyes lovingly. At that moment, on the side of the street with a very patient cab waiting for you, you decided Natasha will be the last woman you’ll ever be with. You’ll make sure of it. 

***

Asya let out a soft ‘aww’ and nothing else. You listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing and you knew she has fallen asleep. You smiled down at your little miracle, and just before you could close your eyes your mobile phone vibrated next to you.

Wife: I hope you’re not feeding our daughter junk food. Much. I love you, see you tomorrow.

You: I did not. Much. I miss you, I love you. See you tomorrow. xx

[malereader-inserts]

Andante, Andante | Ch. III

“Missed me?” Peter asked with a toothy grin as you scoffed, looking at the time on your watch, “How coincidental that you’re in Denny’s at-“

“I live in Queen’s, you muppet, I didn’t go looking for you,”

Word Count: 2,033

A/n: I had to cut the last part of this to the next chapter or it would have been too long and I want you guys to be wondering what is coming on the development of their relationship.

< Previous | Next >

Peter went home back to Queens that evening, as did you. You went back home to the city of New York. Greeting your little siblings and kissing your mother’s cheek whilst your dad ruffles your hair. 

You pretended that you didn’t see Peter smile more that day after getting morning coffee, and you definitely pretended not to hear Tony whining about “Pete is being extra happy and he won’t tell me why.”

Peter pretends he doesn’t notice your relax shoulders, and softer features that day as if you were exhausted, granted he did wake you up at four in the morning to watch the sunrise. 

“So,” Natasha greets you with a teasing voice, “Peter.”

“We’re not friends,” You stated, as she puts her hands up in defence.

“Never said you were,” Natasha points out as you give her narrowed eyes, “A lot of aggression for an eighteen-year-old boy.”

“Shut up,” You mumbled as you give her a side-eye, “Doesn’t prove anything.”

Natasha squeezes your cheek as you grumble, unamused, crossing your arms over your chest and there it was again the scowl finding home on your face.

“Would it kill you if you showed some softness?” She asked, teasing as you looked at her.

“Yes.”

She grins at you anyway as she gives you a hug, for a Russian spy she would do anything that makes you even slightly uncomfortable as you lock your jaw. 

“I will shock you,” You grumbled, not afraid to use your powers against her as she raised her hands to show you that they were no longer upon you, “Thank you.”

Natasha shakes her head, bidding your goodbye when you return home. You stay a week away from everyone else, spending time with family.  Your family is who you keep dear to your heart, you wanted to spend as much time as possible before your mother and father send your siblings to summer camp, they take up as many shifts to provide for their children - and you left alone.

You tried offering them your superhero money that you earn for each mission you do, but your parents refuse, that money should provide for you. For you to reach the stars, you made it big, kid, and they’re so damn proud of you. 

Peter had been summoned by his aunt to spend time with her, not that he complained, he loved Aunt May to bits because she was so caring and ready to help him. Still, she was a terrible cook and when it hit two in the morning, Peter was sure May was asleep, he decided to go out for some food. 

“Be right back! - PP!” Peter stuck the yellow post-it note on the fridge, making sure it was held by a magnet just in case.

Peter grabs his jacket and quickly moves through Queens with ease.  Then, a scent had hit his nose, Denny’s, the weird goodness of food. His stomach grumbles louder and louder as he follows the food scent closer.

Despite the late hour, as Peter walks in, he noticed that he wasn’t alone.  He could spot an elderly lady, devouring an ice cream sundae with a happy smile on her face, a group of students, all of them obviously in a rather cheerful mood. As he grabs his order, he noticed a familiar mop of hair.

Peter tries to convince himself that he isn’t just missing you from not seeing you for almost a week, but he didn’t want to be that person to slide into a booth thinking it was you, to turn out it wasn’t.

And, yet his feet started to walk in your direction. He had spotted your familiar purple and white windbreaker - he’s heard from Barton that you really like that windbreaker. 

With ease, he slides in to see you, your eyes widen to see him.

“Missed me?” Peter asked with a toothy grin as you scoffed, looking at the time on your watch, “How coincidental that you’re in Denny’s at-“

“I live in Queen’s, you muppet, I didn’t go looking for you,” you grumbled, rubbing your eyes, “Didn’t take you for a cocky little shit, Parker, and anyways you’re the one storming up in my booth seems like you’re the one who missed me”

I am, you good looking idiot, Peter thought affectionately before he processed your words.

“Wait,” Peter pauses, grinning that you were finally opening up, “You live here? In Queens?”

You narrowed your eyes towards him, “I live like two blocks away, Parker, you better not start stalking me home.”

You point a fry at him before taking a bite into it. Your shoulders were tense, your right elbow resting upon the table as your left arm rested itself, you swiped your fry into your chosen condiment as Peter enjoys the silence between the two of you. 

“Why are you even up at this time?” You asked, Peter mid stops the chewing of his pancakes, “Don’t tell me you’re already trying to get ahead of your science nerds for college.”

Peter says no words as you shake your head, Peter looking downright embarrassed. Red cheeks as he looks down at his food, biting his lip as you jeered.

“You are something else, dude,” You mused out, shaking your head, “That’s brilliant.”

You laughed, actually laughed, and Peter couldn’t help but snap his head up towards you to see how you threw your head back, your eyes shut and a big fat smile on your face. 

“You amuse me too much, Parker,” You finally calmed down, shaking your head.

“Hi,” A worker, who was obviously sleep-deprived, greeted, “Can I just say you two are so cute!”

“Uh,” Peter stutters, “We’re not-uh, you know...”

“Fuck off,” You grumbled, “We aren’t even friends, acquaintances at best.”

The worker looked apprehensive, obviously taken aback with your cold tone. They understood why the pair of you two worked, opposite attracts they say, you like to claim there is nothing to attract.

“What are you still doing here?” You asked with a jab as Peter smacks your arm, looking at you in disapproval, “Sorry, that was uncalled for, just fuck off.”

The worker frowns, walking away as you look at Peter, “No wonder Wanda doesn’t like you.”

“What do you mean?” You asked at a higher octave, “I’m lovely.”

“A lovely piece of shit.”

The two of you share a glance before snorting into laughter. Peter brightens the fact he was able to make you laugh again as your eyes sparkle when you started to calm down. Then silence overcomes the two of you, as you finish your fries and Peter almost eat up all his food. 

“You know this is the perfect opportunity to know each other.”

“I think it’s past our bedtime,” You pointed out, tapping your watch, “It’s quarter to three, maybe next time.” You slide out the booth and nodded, “See you around, buddy.”

Peter smiles to himself as you walk away, he watches you open the door and pull your coat closer to you as you leave in the opposite direction of his home. You called him buddy, he hopes that you mean it affectionately.

It’s not like he was looking for you, it just happened.

Tonight the streets weren’t as empty as they had been the night before – it was Friday and people were either going home from one club or another or were on their way to the next bar or getting some food.

Peter played with the thought of going back to Denny’s, but a quick glimpse inside told him that you weren’t there that night. So, instead of going in, he craved that fresh air - Peter walks down to find himself entering IHOP. He might as well get some French Toast in addition to the coffee that he so desperately needed.

Before anyone could come and lead him to a table, Peter scans the building to see you already looking at him, with a questioning stare, almost in disbelief and in humour. Peter makes his way there to you, standing at the end of the booth.

“I thought I told you not to stalk me,” There was evidence of clear amusement.

Peter smiles, shrugging his shoulder, “I’ll admit, I did look in Denny’s to see if you were there again.”

“So, you are missing me,” You accused him, as you motioned him to sit which he gladly accepts thankful you hadn’t rejected his presence.

“Truthfully,” Peter starts as you stare at him, “I don’t take you for an IHOP person.”

“I like the french toast,” You shrugged, at ease with his presence, “I like to switch places up, I’m always up late.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“You’re really pushing it,” You said with furrowed eyebrows, just as Peter was about to apologise, “I like that.”

You carefully give him a look before looking down, missing the bright smile you thrust upon Peter.  You looked up at him as he munches happily on his french toast.

“So,” Peter started, relaxing as you leaned back in your seat, “Last night you agreed that I get to know you more.”

“I am a man of my word,” You nodded, vaguely remembering last night at first when you woke up that morning you thought it was some realistic dream.

“Well, I want to know more about your power,” Peter said straight up, tilting his head, “Everyone knows I’m ˢᵖᶦᵈᵉʳᵐᵃⁿ.” He whispers the last part as you looked at him with amusement.

“Alright, well, as you know I was struck by lightning and you know I’m good friends with Thor.”

Peter nods, “You work with electricity, not like The Flash or whatever?”

“The Flash?”

“DC comics?” You shake your head, unfamiliar with it, “Dude, you’re so uncultured.”

You pretend that doesn’t offend you in any way, “Continuing, I can manipulate electricity and then there are subcategories of it. So, I can do electricity manipulation at will and send different levels of shock. It is like the surface of what I can do.”

Peter nods, wanting to know more as he itches closer towards the table, “So, with electricity manipulation, you can do like attacks?”

You nodded, “Yup, plus electrical construction, meaning I can create tools, objects, weapons, armour out of electricity, but only I can use them or Thor and Tony if he has the right material. So, I can hit people with an electric blast but also make an electric shield to protect myself.”

“That’s so cool!” Peter shouts as some people cast their eyes towards your table, “Is that I saw you all decked out with electric armour last time?”

“Oh, well, I needed protection and my suit broke,” You shrugged, “My suit is build ti withstand all the currents I make, I guess it got outdated. I guess that’s mostly my power, I can advance it if I wanted.”

“Like to what?”

Peter looks at you with wide eyes like a puppy, curious, you couldn’t help but melt into his curiosity.

“I’ve heard that I could do something called Electrolytic Blood manipulation? I think it’s too advanced for me and I like what I have,” You shrugged, snapping your fingers as he sees the small spark created at the friction, “But, everyone in the team is begging me to earn electric flight.”

“All this talk is making you sound like a pokemon,” Peter says and you consider it for a moment as a grin stretched out on your face.

“I guess it does, Parker,” You nodded, agreeing with a small laughter as you hugged yourself, “you better finish up, your aunt won’t like to see you not in bed.”

“What about you?”

“I’m off, buddy,” You say, tapping on your smartwatch, “Almost three am, gotta dash before we get too carried away.”

“See you around?”

Peter watch you stand up as he stuffs the last of his french toast, you shrugged and send him a wink.

“Dunno, depends on how good your spidey senses are.”

Peter accepts your challenge silently, knowing you were making a jest him stalking you. He doesn’t push it past you because he knows you’re already softening.

After all, he’s got you to laugh two nights in a row.

Tagged: @locke-writes @yesthetrashbin  @blackirisposts @idwithoutthesuperego @screamingmuffinsunite @fifi550 @vydante @batfam16 @kpopchangedmylifesstuff @chaotictyler @delphicillusion @daeshaunex2 @spideylovin @lewi-black @hey-cigasrette @vances-violets 

Wanna be tagged for the next parts, message me! I just tagged the people who responded their interest, want your name off, again, just message me!

[perpetuallyfive]

some thoughts on Endgame

I always find it a lot easier to write very long rants about things I dislike than praise about things that I like. It just feels like the good things are obvious, you know? So compiling them in lists feels a little pointless.

It’s why I haven’t written anything about Endgame yet. I honestly thought Infinity War was pretty average at best, so the fact that I fucking loved practically every single minute of Endgame kind of caught me by surprise. It checked so many of my boxes that it’s almost hard to even articulate. 

So much of what was good about it honestly felt almost inevitable.

Mark me down as pretty confused then as I read some of the negative responses. Like... obviously, I’m just being dense. Nothing exists, especially on the internet, without some negative response. And I don’t even mean that in a pithy way. People are really different and what works for one person doesn’t work for everyone.

Which brings me back to my earlier point.

Just because I thought some of this stuff was obvious or amazing doesn’t mean everyone did, so here are a few observations, in an unordered list:

The way that time travel works in the movie is deliberately left a little vague, in my opinion, to allow wiggle room for the multiverse moving forward, especially as they expand into streaming services.

They do however clearly say that you cannot change your own past. Bruce says it. This means that Steve absolutely is not in our timeline, whatever the writers might say about it now. He’s not. In our timeline, he knew Peggy married someone else. That’s in his past. He cannot change his past in his own timeline. Therefor he cannot change who Peggy marries in his own timeline.

Seriously, he’s not in our timeline. They’re just wrong.

This means you have a million possibilities in fanfic for all the things Steve did that sent out ripples in his own new timeline or the many multiverses he could have created. It’s a fucking candy shop.

Try not to be too hard on the writers for having no idea what they’re talking about, I guess; it’s hard writing characters that are way smarter than you.

Am I less than charitable toward the writers because of their dumb takes on Natasha in defending why she’s not a part of the funeral at the end? Yes.

Just put a fucking second wreath there, god damn, would it have been so hard.

Framing Nebula’s storyline as a bad thing, which I’ve seen a few times now, is frankly insane to me. She isn’t, as the daily dot put it, killing herself. She missed her chance to save her sister five years ago and has regretted it every since. The second Gamora is at stake this time, she makes it clear that she would sacrifice anything (even someone who looked like her), to prevent losing her sister again. That’s great shit!

I am bummed we don’t get original Gamora back, but I’m also intrigued by the soft reset this does on her relationship with everyone in the Guardians. I wonder what their plans are with that in Vol 3. In many ways, her healing process away from Thanos was sidelined in the first two films and this allows the possibility of reframing that as more central to the focus in the third. Fingers crossed.

More Gamora and Nebula in general but especially in Guardians 3 please; I might threaten to retroactively like this movie less if this is the last we get of this much attention on their relationship, please and thank you.

The problem with the MCU crossover movies is they have to exist as two things at once. They have to be a movie that works as its own thing with good timing, pacing, structure, and an end that feels conclusive. They also have to pay off minor characters that mainstream audiences might not care about, as part of larger world building and the stories shared across an entire universe. Endgame, in my opinion, did a much better job of it than Infinity War or Ultron. (it’s hard to compare it with Avengers, when the scale was much more intimate.) 

No but really, I don’t think a lot of us in fandom have an appreciation for how many people don’t know any of this shit we take for granted. A shocking number of the people I have spoken to IRL who are entirely apart from fandom didn’t even know what “on your left” was a reference to and were actually a little confused by that moment. 

Just think about that and understand the levels this movie has to operate on at all times. It’s almost enough to make me feel bad for the writers, except they still said dumb shit about Nat, so I’m good.

I did actually love all the more subtle callbacks, like Natasha’s necklace and T’Challa knowing Clint’s name, but the direct quotes were pretty great too, especially Steve’s reaction to “I could do this all day.” Super charming.

Another awkward thing about the crossovers is they have to try to level the playing field slightly and there are some Avengers who are just way more powerful than others. Carol was disappointingly absent, but she’s also insanely OP. It’s why Thor got depressed and it’s why the Russos now say that Hulk will have limited use of one arm. They nerfed some of the classic Avengers, but kept Carol full powered just off in space. That’s preferable, so long as she gets more screen time later and jesus please fix the wig. Or just do the actual haircut now that it doesn’t have to be a secret.

Please dear god the hair is great in concept but seriously if there’s anything about the straight agenda ruining Endgame it’s how borderline soccer mom they managed to make that hair look.

Natasha deserved better and I think we can all agree on that, but here’s hoping that her prequel is deliberately designed to echo the destination we know she’s headed toward and to give her a better resolution more in line with what she deserved. I want to believe that they didn’t give her a full ending entirely because they knew she still had a movie coming up and didn’t want to create that sense of finality that might keep audiences from seeing it. Here’s hoping they can make it work. 

Like specifically with very different writers, please. Hopefully a woman. You’ve maybe heard of them before, one of them wrote Guardians, the movie that nobody thought could work and fucking made it work. Yeah.

Tony and Steve were always headed in opposing directions at the end of their arc. This has been covered. Tony went from living selfishly to living selflessly. He went from a playboy bachelor, to a husband, to a father. His one priority when he decided he had to save the world wasn’t even himself, it was specifically keeping his daughter in existence. He went from a selfish dick with daddy issues to someone whose only priority was being a dad.

it was perfect. Like people can say otherwise... but they’re wrong.

 I’m an expert on this, clearly. Tony’s death was perfect. 

THEY FINALLY GAVE ME RESCUE. I loved everything about it, from Tony planning it carefully for a long time -- like obviously I think it’s because he was customizing the design to be more in line with Pepper’s wants and values, like it is in the comics -- to the fact that it actually does look more defensively focused but still super capable in battle. I want to watch this movie a billion times, honestly, but this scene in particular. I need to know everything about what her suit can do.

Steve was always going to end up settling down. We don’t actually know what he did in his own timeline -- again, IT’S NOT OURS -- so there’s a chance he was still a bit of a troublemaker, but honestly the five years seemed to take a lot out of him. He doesn’t always need a war, and that actually is forward momentum and growth. I get that some people are against the idea and think that getting to be with Peggy was somehow a step back, but I’m not sure I buy that.

Tony taking out the arc reaction at the end of IM3 wasn’t actually about him erasing his trauma or leaving it behind, and Steve getting to be with Peggy doesn’t erase his growth. It was part of it.

Theoretically Sharon was always an option, except the audience (and fandom) response to her was pretty terrible, so actually she wasn’t.

And not to just keep harping on points made in an article that I think is frankly pretty terrible, but Steve going back to the past instead of settling in the present wasn’t about compulsory heterosexuality so much as it was about a franchise that is going to keep making movies needing to keep the next decade of films in mind. 

If Steve is still around in the now, that will always linger as a nagging question. The same way that people can’t shut up about where Carol was for the last decade, Steve hanging around in retirement refusing to help would hang over the next phases of movies like a cloud. Putting him in the past lets him live (which he deserves) and clears the slate.

Let Steve rest but, more than that, dear god won’t you please let Chris Evans rest too.

This goes back to how these movies, especially the crossovers, have to work on almost too many levels and it’s frankly shocking that they manage to do it and still have moments of sincere humanity and sweetness. 

Like I’m not going to try to oversell it, but seriously fucking think about the fact that one of the most successful blockbuster movies of all time actually has quiet moments where people talk about trauma, loss, parental abuse or neglect, failure, and depression. 

Hey remember when the movie gave us acknowledgement of Rhodey and Nebula’s disabilities? In the possibly going to be most successful movie of all time, they had characters with disabilities say how they’re different now but it’s okay, they work with what they got, and they bonded over that and it was so fucking shocking for me and BEAUTIFUL. Just a reminder for us all that THAT happened in the movie that may actually pass Avatar to become the MOST SUCCESSFUL FILM OF ALL TIME.

Just allowing another moment to let that sink in while I try to wrap this up (for now).

ps I can’t believe this movie made me have nice thoughts on Ultron, which I fucking despise with most of my being. 

Actually I might have to take back every nice thing I said, just because of the Ultron thing. How dare you, film.

But still lol at the fact that even talking about Ultron for a few seconds was enough to make Tony Stark pass the fuck out. Hard same, Tony. 

LOOK OBVIOUSLY I LOVED MORGAN STARK. I AM EXCITED ABOUT MORGAN STARK. SHE IS A PRECIOUS PERFECT ANGEL AND I LOVE HER.

SHIT.

So this is a totally incomplete list but here you go. Some of my thoughts on Endgame.

[ssironstrange]

endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea 

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.”  SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this. 

[heartavenged]

THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AVENGERS ENDGAME

SPOILERS.

Based on the amazing post by @saieras (21 things I loved about endgame), anything pushed by blockquotes (the little line on the left), and some of the titles, come directly from said post --DISCLAIMER -- and means I agree completely.

1. THE FIRST 20 MINUTES

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

CAROL, again.

2. THE TIME JUMP

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

3. TONY CONFRONTS STEVE

I have firmly been Team Iron Man since Civil War, and Tony is my favourite character (I am not okay), so suffice to say that I loved how, even weakened with malnourishment, he got in Steve’s face, and everything he said.

4. THE LANGS

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. DOMESTIC TONY

Tony and Morgan. Such a real, cute father-daughter relationship. ‘Mommy send me to rescue you’ and ‘Love you three thousand’ filled my heart with joy.

6. INTERN

Tony and Peter’s photo (...)  AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan

7. THE NYC SCENE

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da–“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky… Is… ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

8. FRIGGA AND THOR

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

9. TONY AND HOWARD

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And… while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

10. PEGGY AND STEVE

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

Also because I don’t much care for Steve.

11. GAMORA

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

True, the minute she realizes Thanos’ plan is to wipe out half the universe, she is so clearly appalled (I don’t think she really knew what he planned for after he gathered all stones), and immediately starts to reconsider her position on the whole thing.

12. CLINT AND NATASHA

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

- I knew it would be Natasha , though, Clint and his family, and Natasha and her whole “I need redemption, I’m still trying to be a better person” -

Back to the Vormir scene: it was amazing, and heartbreaking, the lengths they were willing to go to make sure they were the sacrifice, like, how they were willing to injure if it meant the other were alive at the end. Clint and Natasha were never my favourites (except around Avengers), but I will forever applaud Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner for their outstanding performance.

13. THE BIG THREE FIGHT THANOS

Thor’s lightning and Tony’s Iron Man tech combining to kick purple ass, all of three of them holding the titan back while the others tried to crawl out of the rubble. Still, the “big three fight” was mainly focused on Steve, in my opinion.

Like previously stated, I’m not a greeeat Steve fan, but even I have to admit that Mjölnir zapping to his hand at that precise moment was awesome. I cheered right along with everyone else. Which also justifies Thor grabbing it along from the past and possibly, maybe, most likely, leaving his past-self without it?

Anyways, cue tears at each shard of the shield.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

If I was crying before, the moment that Sam hails Steve, and Shuri, Okoye and T’Challa walk through that first portal I was outright sobbing.

Words don’t do justice to the emotion I felt at seeing ALL my heroes assemble for the last time. At each new face I cried harder. They didn’t forget anyone and that made me so fucking happy. 

I felt as if I could climb into the screen and fight alongside them, I felt powerful enough and fired up enough to do it too. And that’s the magic of that scene, thank you cast and crew. Thank you MARVEL for the incredible build up, I thought it was worth it.

15. PETER AND TONY

How Peter goes straight for Tony and cute rambling mode is already turned on, but Tony can’t even speak, and just falls into the hug in a parallel of their “hug” in Infinity War.

“Oh, this is nice!”

The moment is essencial since Peter, and not really any of the other tens of trillions* that vanished in the snap, is the reason Tony embarks in the time travel venture, even when it could’ve cost him so much. So it validates his choice, besides his being, you know, a true hero.

16. CAROL’S ENTRANCE

I missed her in this movie. I mean, I thought she would be in almost every shot, but maybe that was just because I think she’s fantastic. Her entrance, tho.

“What are they shooting at?” “Something just entered the atmosphere”

And then blast! Singlehandedly destroying the mothership (Thanos’ looks so fucking offended and we can see any conviction of victory waning from his expression), and kicking some ass. Way to establish dominance early on girl!

I mean, I played with the idea of Infinity-War-Thor being equal to Carol, (and maybe, maybe, he could’ve come a close) but now? She’s so clearly in another level... No words except: goddess.

17. PETER IN THE BATTLE + CAROL

Instant kill mode

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!!

“Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. (...) It be like that sometimes.

I don’t think Carol would ever be around enough for anything close to parental relationship (plus, May is Peter’s mom), but that boy will worship the hero-shit out of Captain Marvel.

18. MARVEL’S HEROINES

If my crying had eased a bit from the general assemble moment, I fucking cracked again here. They are so tough, and powerful, and beautiful.

As a woman, it was so damn empowering and important to see all of them up there, together, each with their own background and their own strengths. I love how we had all kinds of women - warriors, mothers, princesses, generals, wives, captains, businesswomen, scientists, girlfriends, assasins, friends, witches - and all of them fighters.

I also can’t wait for the gifset and the final still - it’s gonna be my background for about everything.

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. TONY’S SEND OFF

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

Of course I knew Natasha wouldn’d be the only one to die, but damn, I’m still feeling the hole his amazing fictional character left/ is going to leave in my life. Literally the only one (Peter was of course safe with Far From Home around the corner) I didn’t want to die. I loved him before my heart was inflated with Stark-family feels.

The lake house was so peaceful and I loved how it showed that after all his trouble, his PTSD, Tony had found a home and a family (even if somethings haunted him).

The picture, and how devastated Peter is can only mean that between Homecoming and Infinity War they grew closer, which had always been what I wanted. But I wanted to see it! Fanfiction will have to continued to lull my pain, I guess.

Speaking of fanfiction, Harley being at the funeral is all the proof my little fanheart needs to claim they’ve not only been in contact through the years, but had a mentor/parental relationship as well.

The question for me now is: how well do the boys know each other?

20. AND FINALLY, TONY. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

FOREVER IRON MAN

[thawedpatriot]

okay, my e.ndgame thoughts are below the cut. beware, they’re somewhat incoherent at times mainly just because my brain is still trying to wrap my head around some stuff. also it’s really really long. like 3k words long. major spoilers ahead!

-okay so the whole beginning felt. really rushed, if that makes sense? like, i’m glad that tony got back to earth fairly early on but that was very sudden, having carol show up and carry the ship to the compound. however, i can’t complain too much because watching steve book it to tony’s side as he was coming off the ship gave me life. the fact that he just hovered the whole time and was there to support him and show he cares just. pleased me.

- tony had every right to blow up at steve. i mean, god, the man’s been through so much. he’s lost so much and is still recovering from everything that happened. he’s frustrated and angry and hurting and steve pressed for information too callously too soon, and it set an exhausted tony off. totally valid. and tony was right, he saw all this coming and no one listened to him, even though half of that was just bc aou was a fucking mess writing wise. but steve told him ‘together’ and because they weren’t together when shit went down, they all lost. would it have killed either of them to call during the two years they had to do so? no, probably not. that probably would’ve been a step towards working back to that ‘together’ thing. because there’s years of unresolved tension and conflict between them at this point, none of it ever got resolved between them, so it’s finally coming to a head now that they’re properly in the same room again.

- that said, the ‘you weren’t there when i needed you’ bit rubbed me the wrong way. because it was bruce who ended up calling. tony never made a call, never asked for steve’s help. never let him know he needed him, even though he had that ability to. so yes, steve is at fault here too, but it’s not 100% on him that things went down the way they did, if that makes sense.

- tony shoving the arc reactor into steve’s hand???? killed me on the spot, thanks.

- the devastation steve must be feeling when they figure out the stones are gone??? gutting. he was so sure they would be able to bring everyone back wit the stones once they’d taken care of thanos. he was so ready for a fight, so ready to get his revenge and make things right, and there just. was no fight, no way to bring his friends back. he’d lost bucky all over again, and now he’s lost sam, too. sam, who he dragged into all this. that kind of guilt festers in him for those five years, no doubt.

- i wanna know what steve did for those five years. because, yes, we see him talking in that small therapy group, but not only is he giving advice he’s not taking himself, but he’s just not shown doing much of anything else. he’s holding on to all his trauma and grief and not dealing with it, just like he’s been doing since he left the ice. so what is he doing all that time??? but also seeing him in a therapy group setting made my heart swell a little bit because you know he did that for sam. he misses his friend and is doing that for him, i will not believe anything otherwise. sam was and is so important to him.

- this is unrelated to steve but is important to me as a bi: carol’s hair looked so good i made a noise when i saw it and my friend hit me in the arm 

- god i wish we saw more of steve and nat interact. because clearly they’ve been in contact with one another for the past 5 years and that’s probably the longest running friendship he’s had going besides bucky so. it’s nice to know he didn’t lose everyone in one way or another for those 5 years. they just know each other so well and recognize the similarities between one another and i’m just really glad he wasn’t all alone all that time.

- steve is so done with everyone throughout this movie, including himself. it’s beautiful.

- sidenote, i could not take bruce seriously as a character the way he was and i don’t know why. also they did thor dirty. they did thor so dirty. he was a joke until they needed him to fight. the level of guilt and trauma thor is dealing with is immeasurable and they turned it into comic relief by leaning into fat-shaming and joking about alcoholism???? nah man, that’s not okay. not at all. address that he’s dealing with ptsd, show that he’s using unhealthy coping mechanisms, and help him. don’t make fun of him, don’t just let him keep doing that to himself, help him. the only scene in the whole movie i genuinely liked with him in it was his scene with frigga. because she took him seriously, she was willing to listen and offer advice and tell him what he needed to hear. that scene was so important.

- another sidenote, as much as i disliked p.epperony in the past, this movie made me appreciate them more. because i’ve always loved them both as individual characters, pepper potts owns my whole soul, but as a couple they were just written in a way that made me not love it as the movies went on. however, this movie really showed growth in their development as a couple, in pepper accepting tony for who he is and the needs he has to do good. also tony is an amazing father and it’s just so validating to see a character who grew up with an abusive parent break the cycle and become soft and kind in any interactions he has with his daughter. you can tell how much he loves his family, and it’s what he deserved.

- okay so i hope we can all agree the time travel science in this movie was fucked and they did a really bad job at explaining how it works. it was not clear, did not make sense, and following standard time travel laws there were a million paradoxes happening and it makes me angry. nebula killing her past self? bullshit bc she should not exist after that. steve’s whole ending??? also bullshit but i’ll get to that later because that’s an essay in itself.

- tony giving steve the shield back was such a big deal okay. the fact that tony has acknowledged that holding onto the resentment was detrimental to his own health and being was so important. we got a handshake and i really thought they were gonna go for a hug but noooo that’d be too much to ask for i guess. but steve hasn’t seen or held that thing in like 7 years it has to be nice to have it in his hands again, seeing as he always refers to it as an extension of his arm and all. and to be getting it back, nice and polished, from tony probably means a great deal to him as well.

- okay now let’s get to the actual time travel bit. steve and tony being the ones to zap back to 2012???? my god its like everything i ever wanted was handed to me on a platter. that movie was what got me on this marvel train and as even with its issues, it holds such a dear place in my heart. so you know the second that ‘2012′ popped onto the screen i was ready to combust. and then it just got better because it felt like an extension of the movie, like we were seeing deleted scenes, which was just. really nice?? 

- god okay “america’s ass” gave me so much life as dumb as the whole joke was. because tony blatantly checking out steve’s ass?? my dude thats the gayest thing i’ve ever seen with my own two eyes. but then tony commenting on how his ass looks in the suit???? i was living, okay. living. and the fact that he checked out his past self’s ass and was like ‘yeah, damn straight’ amused me greatly.

- ngl the ‘hail hydra’ bit made me uncomfy initially, but honestly i’m just gonna appreciate how clever my boy is and how stupid hydra is. his ‘i’m clever and i know it and i just outsmarted piece of shit nazis’ smile as he walked away from the elevator with the case???? priceless. i was half expecting another elevator fight but i guess that wouldn’t really make sense sfdghj

- steve fighting himself? past steve reacting to the compass appearing and getting super fucking pissed over the concept that someone might’ve taken it or something??? the fact that it was ‘bucky is alive’ that had him going full stop???? oof. also, the ‘i can do this all day’ and ‘yeah, i know’ was funny initially but oh my god is my boy exhausted. he’s so tired. he’s been fighting for decades. someone let him rest. please. 

- also unrelated, i wanna know where the fuck loki fucked off to when he grabbed the tessaract. like is this where the concept for his spinoff show comes from???? what did he do????

- steve and tony being on the same wavelength and trusting each other??? steve trusting tony wholeheartedly even if he didn’t fully know what it was tony was planning?? important. so, so important.

- steve in camp lehigh. oh my god. why did no one recognize captain america???? it’s been twenty years, sure, but y’all slapped ‘birthplace of captain america’ on your sign and there’s probably pictures of his face around in more places than peggy’s desk. you’re telling me no one would recognize him standing in the middle of the military camp??? nah, i don’t buy it. y’all had poor disguises and didn’t even get him sunglasses or anything. c’mon guys, you’re better than this.

- okay look this isn’t a tony blog but what the fuck was that scene with howard,, i understand it in terms of why they included it when looking at the narrative. because of tony’s whole ‘resentment is corrosive, didn’t like it’ thing and the need for closure on that front before his story ends, but he didn’t owe howard jack shit, let alone a ‘thank you’. that man, even if he had the best intentions and wanted tony to succeed in the future because he knew he had potential, was neglectful and abusive. he was not affectionate, he did not make tony feel as though he were loved, and it deeply affected tony as a person. the fact that he doesn’t know how far along his own wife is with their firstborn child??? big red flag right there, friends. sure, it’s good to show kids with bad relationships with their parents that its possible to work through negative emotions and resentment and move on with their lives but this was not the example to give. tony did not owe his father anything at that point. he’d moved on, made himself better, became a better father than howard was to him. i’m just. so angry about it okay.

- steve looking through the glass of peggy’s office at her, believing this was the last time he was going to see her again??? broke my heart but i called it as soon as i knew time travel was involved in this movie. i knew they’d throw a ‘steve sees her while traveling and is really sad about it’ bit in there somewhere. and i would have been content if that was it, if that was all he got. if that was the closure he got, one last glimpse of her. the fact that twenty years later she still has the picture of him, before he was captain america, on her desk??? erases any of the development and growth we know she went through in her series and whatnot, but it’s a good reminder that peggy carter was one of the few people that saw steve for who he was. she saw the skinny kid from brooklyn and knew he had what it took to be a hero, she saw him for the good man he was. she loved him for who he was. that means a great deal to steve, who no doubt struggles with the line between steve and cap a lot. but by this point, peggy would have moved on. in the series, she had moved on. erasing all of that development is detrimental to her character and i refuse it.

- seeing jarvis again was a treat. i squeaked.

- what the fuck was that with natasha??? what kind of man-pain fuel was that??? and why didn’t she get the proper funeral/mourning she deserved??? she’s been around since im2, she was the one who united the avengers, she was the first female avenger (bc they swept janet van dyne under the rug but thats a whole other rant), and that’s the end of her arc??? as soon as i saw where her and hawkeye were headed i just knew. i knew what was gonna happen and i was hissing internally. because i knew there was no way she’d be like ‘yeah you’re my best friend, you have a family, you go ahead and jump’ and on behalf of all the mcu writers i wanna apologize to all c.lint.asha shippers for the mess the mcu gave y’all. i’m so sorry j*ss fucked it up for y’all bc he wanted something for two characters no one else wanted. she deserved to be mourned. she didn’t deserve to be forgotten for like the rest of the film after that initial ‘she’s gone’. she deserved a funeral, too. steve just lost one of his closest friends???? on top of everything else he’s lost, let him express that. please.

- so back on my s.tony shit, the ‘that’s my man’ when tony nudged steve awake to hand him back his shield after the compound blew up??? not heterosexual at all. y’all aren’t even trying to hide it anymore u bastards

- STEVE ROGERS USING THE HAMMER. Y’ALL. Y’ALL. MY BOY IS WORTHY AND I KNEW IT AND THIS MEANS HE SPARED THOR IN AOU BC HE’S A COMPASSIONATE LOSER WHO DIDN’T WANT TO HURT HIS FRIEND’S PRIDE AND FEELINGS. BUT GOD THAT WAS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING I’VE SEEN ON SCREEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. HIM USING BOTH HIS SHIELD AND THE HAMMER AT THE SAME TIME, MAKING COMBO STRIKE OUT OF IT??? USING THE LIGHTING???? MAN I CAN TELL YOU WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT I HAVE NOT SCREAMED SO LOUD IN A MOVIE THEATER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

- all the ladies fighting together?? shielding peter???? kicking ass together??? gave me life. that was the most beautiful scene in the entire mcu,,, it made my bi heart burst,, all it was missing was nat, but it was a nice way to be like ‘this is what she started’. and seeing pepper out there as rescue was just the cherry on top okay i love her sm she’s so cool and finally fighting out there alongside tony and rhodey. my wife carol danvers is also the coolest??? not even flinching when thanos does whatever head-butt thing he was going for??? god i love my wives.

- ‘on your left’ god damn yes let sam wilson be the one to announce that they’re all back my boy deserves it. i wanted a proper reunion between steve and sam and/or bucky. we didn’t get that. we didn’t get that!!!!!! we didn’t get anything like that!!!!! steve was primarily on his own for 5 years because he lost his two best friends and we don’t get a reunion scene??? i call bullshit, marvel

- also rocket trying to shield groot with his own little body during the aerial attack??? broke my little heart??? like he just got him back and is terrified that he’ll lose him again,,,

- no one talk to me about tony stark i can’t handle it, he deserved to be happy and live a long life with his family. he deserved that happy ending, but i’m so grateful that pepper just. understood what he needed. she knew what he needed to hear and was there for him and could just ‘we’ll be okay, you can rest’. and give him that peace of mind. he did it, he saved the universe, he brought everyone back, he can rest. but god he really deserved to be able to rest with his family, happy and alive, okay.

- steve’s small exchange with bucky was like a nice reference to the first cap movie, but that was all we got. steve has spent multiple movies trying to get bucky back and help him, and we don’t even get a reunion scene and then just this one little bit of back and forth. a soft ‘i’ll miss you’, even though its technically only supposed to be seconds for them?? like,,, does that means bucky knows??? like, he has a feeling he knows what steve’s gonna do??? idk man, idk. all i do know is that they deserved better in this movie. i’m also summing up bucky’s telling sam to go talk to steve as bucky’s ‘i don’t know if i can handle that’ admission tbh.

- god bless sam wilson. between being the one to be like ‘bring him back. where is he? get him back.’ the second something seemed to go wrong with the time travel was,,, really nice. like, thank you for caring about my boy. thank you for always having his back. i love you so much sam wilson. and anyone who thinks sam shouldn’t be the one to get the shield can meet me in a back alley okay, this man has earned it, he’s the right pick for the cap mantle. the cap theme playing when he was given the shield? Iconic. did i cry whenever the cap theme played during this movie?? Absolutely.

- time travel in this movie is a fucking joke but i wanna know if steve had to see the red skull when he returned the soul stone because can you imagine??? that interaction??? like, did anyone warn him??? did anyone tell him the red skull was there or was it only implied when clint said something about a red man or whatever after coming back and being upset about natasha???? but also where did steve travel back to in order to start his new life??? were there just two caps in the universe??? one in the ice and one living his life w/ peggy???? none of it makes sense. none of it. where does the shield go/come from???? guys??? guys.

-okay now we address the end of steve’s arc. i’m gonna start by saying i see both sides of the discourse it’s stirred up. i understand the intention behind it, not wanting steve’s story to just be one big tragedy. because that’s where it was headed. if they killed him, he would have been fighting for decades on end without rest, without knowing peace, and that would’ve been it. that’s not the end people want to see for their heroes. he deserves to be able to put down the shield and rest. he deserves that ending for himself after fighting his whole life. However, the way they did it not only flattened his entire arc, but it flattened peggy’s entire character as well. she built a life in his absence, she moved on, and he knows this. he knew this, and i refuse to believe that steve would selfishly go back and disrupt that, take that away from her for the sake of his own personal happiness. that’s not steve rogers, a good and compassionate man. because think about the life he’d have to lead, knowing all he does. because if he isn’t supposed to disrupt the timeline, he has to let everything with hydra happen and infiltrate shield, something he knows peggy’s dedicated to, he has to let everything with bucky happen and be okay with not stepping in and rescuing his best friend from that horrific life/killing tony’s parents, he has to watch both tony and sharon grow up knowing everything about their lives??? (not to mention how fucking weird everything with sharon would be  considering the mcu just forgot about her after they made out in the parking lot???? sharon deserved better.) 

- this wasn’t an end of an arc, it was the flattening of an arc. he didn’t actually deal with anything that he’d been through. tws was all about how he needed to move on, peggy herself told him that the world was changing and he had to move with it instead of lingering in the past and what he lost. he was supposed to be building himself a new life, addressing what he lost and the trauma he’s been through and work through it all to push onward. that’s development. he got away with not working on himself or anything he went through, the group therapy was never actually beneficial because he didn’t take any of his advice, he clung to his emotions and grief and wasn’t able to move on and says as much. giving him this easy way out just feels lazy in my opinion. like they didn’t know what to do with him, wanted him to end up happy, and this was the only way they saw that happening because he wasn’t properly developed over the course of the mcu. i’m happy my boy ended up happy, don’t get me wrong, i was very close to sobbing over him finally getting that dance, but it was highly unsatisfactory in terms of a story and character arc.

[bi-hargrove]

Into the Flood - Sweet Pea

in which sweet pea and his best friend still have heart eyes for each other and are still idiots

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Warning(s): Strong language, mention of shitty parents

Note: This is the second installment of a series that I’m calling ‘Ride or Die.’ The first installment (Swelling Storm) can be found here. If you would like to be tagged when more parts are posted, please let me know! 

your eyes slowly crossed as you stared at the computer screen in front of you. for the past two hours, you had been cooped up in the riverdale high library, doing last minute review for the calculus final that you had to take the next day. or rather, you were panicking with the practice exam open on the computer in front of you.

“calculus can kiss my ass,” you muttered under your breath before you face planted into the computer’s keyboard.

“looks like you’re working really hard.”

you let out a long and loud groan. “i hate calculus. i need to have a chat with whoever came up with it so i can explain to them, in great detail, how much calculus fucking blows,” you grumbled.

sweet pea chuckled as he plopped down into the seat next to you.

“ah, yes, please continue to laugh at my pain,” you quipped as you finally lifted your head from the keyboard to shoot him a dirty look. “i didn’t laugh at you when you punched a hole in the wall because you hate jane eyre.”

“don’t even say that name around me,” he grumbled.

“then don’t laugh at me.” you stuck your tongue out at him, then turned your attention back to the computer. “you know that my brain wasn’t made for math and science. that’s your thing.”

that was an understatement. sweet pea was a whiz when it came to the more technical fields of study. a lot of people just assumed that he was a big, idiotic lug who barely knew how to add 2+2, since he was a member of the southside serpents. the serpents still did not have the best reputation around riverdale. it had improved some since nearly two years ago, when southside and northside high combined, but a lot of the northside of riverdale still thought poorly of the southside.

but since the transfer to riverdale high, sweet pea was able to reach his fullest potential. he finally had the equipment to prove just how smart he was; equipment that southside high had been sorely lacking.

“yeah, i am kind of a genius when it comes to those things, aren’t i?” he teased.

you leveled him with an unamused look. “did you just come here to gloat?” you asked.

“actually...” sweet pea reached into his backpack and pulled out a to-go bag from pop’s. “i brought provisions; a milkshake, fries, and me.”

he slid a foam to-go cup in front of you, then passed you the to-go bag.

“you’re a prince, sweets,” you sighed as you shoved a handful of fries into your mouth. “this is exactly what i needed.”

“and you were ready to rip my head off two seconds ago.”

you reached over and lightly shoved his shoulder. “don’t make me regret what i just said,” you grumbled.

sweet pea shoved you back before he leaned over your shoulder to look at the problem that you had been struggling with before he arrived.

“i see where you’re going wrong,” he said, pointing to something in the middle of the work that you had written down. “you’re mixing up two parts of the formula. have you been doing it that way the whole time?”

you nodded your head as you took a sip of your milkshake.

“y/n, i told you about that a week ago,” he mumbled distractedly as he flipped through your calculus notebook. “see, look.”

he pointed at a note that he had scribbled in your notebook during your tutoring session last wednesday. you leaned in to glance at the note that he had written down.

“i told you my brain wasn’t meant for this stuff!” you whined as you face planted into the computer keyboard again. “fuck calculus.”

after another two hours spent going over calculus formulas and practice problems with sweet pea, your brain was pretty much fried. you felt like you had a better understanding of what to do, compared to when you first started studying, but with the way things were going, you very well could forget all that sweet pea taught you by the time you went to take the exam. you were too exhausted to care.

“i have to go to the wyrm. fangs wants me to be his partner in a game of pool against some new recruit. apparently, the guy keeps bragging about how he’s the best player around and fangs decided to defend my honor for me,” sweet pea explained, sounding less than thrilled that his best friend decided to do that for him. “do you want to tag along or do you want me to drop you at home?”

“depends. is toni working?” you asked as you shoved open the double doors that led to the school’s parking lot.

sweet pea nodded his head.

“okay, then i’ll come with you,” you decided. “i feel like i haven’t seen her in forever. i miss her.”

sweet pea lifted the seat of his motorcycle to stow away his backpack and to retrieve your helmets. you opted to keep your backpack, and quickly secured your helmet onto your head before climbing onto the bike.

“she was asking about you the other day,” sweet pea informed you as he started up the engine. “said she has something to talk to you about.”

you had a pretty good idea of what that “something” was. after you confessed to toni that you loved sweet pea, she had made it her mission to convince you to tell him how you felt. the two of you got into heated discussions about it at least three times a week.

you sighed quietly as you looped your arms around sweet pea. now you kind of regretted your decision to join him at the whyte wyrm. you were tired and you really did not feel like getting into it with toni over the whole sweet pea situation.

but you had been truthful when you said that you missed her. even though your relationship had become strained over the past few weeks, toni was a really good friend of yours. you had known her for almost as long as you had known sweet pea and you considered her the sister that you had always wanted.

so you decided to just suck it up and go to the wyrm. hopefully, you were wrong about what you suspected she wanted to talk to you about.

but as soon as sweet pea threw open the heavy door to the bar, alerting everyone of your entrance, and toni’s eyes landed on you, you knew that you hadn’t been wrong.

with a quirked brow and a quick flick of her index finger, toni summoned you to the bar.

“go kick some ass, pea,” you cheered and gave his arm a squeeze before you moved through the crowd to go over to toni.

“hey, t,” you greeted with a tight smile. “how’re you?”

she leveled you with an intense stare as she prepared a drink for one of the serpents sitting at the bar. her eyes did not leave yours as she slid the glass down the bar to its owner. had you not been so uneasy by the way she was looking at you, you would have been seriously impressed.

“so, i heard something pretty interesting from a certain someone,” toni began, her voice possessing a sickeningly sweet quality that scared you a little. “he thinks that he loves you. apparently a conversation that you two had after prom made him realize that.”

your eyes widened in shock. as far as you knew, sweet pea had never outright said that he loved you before. fangs had told you that the most sweet pea had admitted to was feeling as though you guys had something more than just a friendship between you. never had he said the “l” word.

“are you serious-” you gasped, only to stop short when toni narrowed her eyes at you.

“oh, that’s not the most interesting part,” she barked. “he came to this realization, but he feels like shit because he doesn’t think that you could ever feel the same way about him. which is crazy because we both know that you do. so, i’m not understanding why you still haven’t told him how you feel.”

“it’s complicated, t-”

toni’s eyes turned to little slits as she gave you the scariest look that you had ever seen. and that was a huge feat, considering the fact that your best friend’s resting face was so frightening that it once made a grown man cry.

“it’s really not that complicated, y/n. you’re making it complicated,” she informed you. “and there’s literally no reason for you to be doing that. you love him. he loves you. just go for it.”

you groaned loudly as you laid your head down on the bar. “i can’t. what if we try to date and something awful happens and we never talk again?” you asked.

toni’s face softened as you finally confessed why you were reluctant to make a move. you had never told her about the worries that had been plaguing you since it dawned on you that you liked sweet pea as more than a friend.

“that would never happen,” toni assured you and took your hand in hers. “he cares about you so much and would literally go to the ends of the earth for you. and you know how loyal he is; he would never ever cut you off like that.”

“yeah, y/n, SP is crazy about you! once he makes you his old lady, he’s never lettin’ you go,” one of the older serpents, named jerry, chimed in from his stool a couple down from where you were sitting.

you turned your attention to the burly man and shot him a confused look. “how do you even know who we’re talking about?” you asked.

he laughed and got up from his stool. as he walked by you, he clapped his hand on your shoulder. “everyone in this whole bar knows who you’re talking about. you and Pea aren’t as slick as you think you are,” he told you.

a few other serpents at the bar mumbled in agreement or raised their glasses to that statement.

“does everyone know that me and sweets are in love with each other?” you asked hysterically.

“pretty much,” toni chuckled.

you groaned again and buried your face in your hands. “this is so embarrassing,” you mumbled.

“it’s not that bad,” toni tried to assure you; the operative word being tried. “c’mon, y/n, just tell him. go over right now and be like ‘sweets, i’m in love with you and i have been forever.’ he’d probably literally jump for joy. which is something that i’d like to see, so that’s even more of a reason to do it.”

you considered what toni suggested. apparently, it was no secret that you and sweet pea were crazy about each other. the risk of putting your feelings out in the open had lowered significantly now that you were sure that sweet pea felt the same way about you that you felt about him. and toni was right; sweet pea was extremely loyal, so he wouldn’t ditch you if something went wrong in your relationship. that just wasn’t in his nature. the more you thought about it, the more sense it made to tell him.

“you know what, i’m gonna do it,” you announced, standing up from your seat. “i’m gonna tell him! t, please give me a shot of the strongest thing you’ve got back there. i need liquid courage.”

toni saluted you before pulling a bottle down from the highest shelf behind the bar. she poured you a shot and plunked it down in front of you.

you knocked it back and cringed only a little bit at the burn it left in your throat. “alright, here i go,” you sputtered.

“you’ve got this!” toni assured you and gave you a huge thumbs up.

you strode over to the pool table, feeling as confident as could be. this was going to be great; you were finally going to tell sweet pea how you felt about him.

“hey, sweets,” you called as you got closer to the small group that was gathered around the pool table.

you couldn’t believe that you were about to tell sweet pea that you loved him. you were really about to throw caution to the wind and just lay everything out on the line.

sweet pea turned around at the sound of your voice. the scowl on his face immediately softened to a smile when he saw you coming toward him. your eyes met his and your heart dropped to your asshole.

what the fuck did you think you were doing?

you couldn’t tell him that you loved him. you couldn’t tell him that in his arms was your favorite place to be. you couldn’t tell him that you loved watching him sleep because his face softened as he relaxed completely, and he looked like the boy who used to pick flowers from the edge of southside elementary’s rundown playground and stick them in your hair. you couldn’t tell him that you thought that he deserved the very best of what life had to offer because you knew that under his tough guy persona was a boy who just wanted his shitty dad to tell him once that he was proud of him. and you definitely couldn’t tell him that his smile made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

your eyes widened to the size of saucers and you turned on your heel, scurrying back to the bar without saying another word to sweet pea.

toni shook her head slowly as she stared at you with a look of complete disappointment on her face.

“don’t say a word,” you muttered as you face planted the bar.

“i’m bored,” sweet pea whined loudly. “how much longer until you’re done?”

you rolled your eyes as you resisted the urge to sigh. “i don’t really know. i have to finish going over these flashcards a few more times,” you mumbled distractedly as you shuffled through the pile in front of you.

“you’ve already read them four times each since i got here. if i knew i was going to slowly die of boredom when you invited me over, i would have said no.”

you turned in your desk chair to glare at your whiny best friend. he stared back at you with a blank look on his face as he tossed your beloved mr. moo up in the air repeatedly. you narrowed your eyes into tiny slits in an attempt to scare him into not being such a pain in your ass. he sighed loudly in response.

“okay, first of all, put mr. moo down right now,” you grumbled, admitting defeat in your stare down against sweet pea. “and i told you to come over at seven because i knew that i had some studying to finish up. it’s not my fault that you decided to show up two hours early.”

“i was bored and i figured you wouldn’t mind if i came over early,” sweet pea explained as he set mr. moo down gently beside him on your bed. “but i guess you do because you’re trying to kill me by boring me to death with history flashcards.”

he flopped back onto your bed in such an overdramatic fashion that all you could do in response was to roll your eyes as you turned back around in your chair. you picked back up where you left off with your studies, and you were able to get through a grand total of four flashcards before sweet pea started complaining again.

“seriously, y/n, how many times are you going to reread those stupid flashcards?” he asked, breaking your concentration. “you already know everything on every single one of them.”

“i just want to make sure i’m prepared for my final,” you said.

“why is russia considered a european country, even though only about 25% of the country is located in europe?”

“because over 75% of russia’s population lives in the portion located in europe.”

“what is the smallest country in the world and how big is it?”

“vatican city and it’s only 0.44 square kilometers.”

sweet pea came up behind you. you felt the hairs on your neck stand up on end when his arm brushed up against you as he reached for your laptop.

“i think you’re more than prepared for your final,” he assured you as he returned to your bed. “make the popcorn and i’ll get the office queued up.”

you couldn’t even argue with him; you knew that you were ready for your exam. in fact, you were going to kick major ass when you took it.

you had been using studying as a stalling tactic.

you and sweet pea had participated in hundreds of movie and tv show marathons before. the summer before your junior year, the two of you spent all of your free time cooped up in your room binge watching dexter. one weekend, after a particularly rough patch for you, sweet pea surprised you with an uninterrupted viewing of all eight of the harry potter movies. the two of you spent an embarrassing amount of time cuddled up together, staring at a tv or laptop screen.

but since you nearly confessed your feelings to him the other day, you had been feeling on edge around sweet pea. whenever the two of you hung out, you could feel the tension hanging over you. stolen glances, nervous laughter, and long, awkward silences were now a big part of your interactions, and you hated it. you just wanted things to go back to the way they were before.

unfortunately, you weren’t sure if that was going to be possible without you telling him how you felt.

in a last ditch effort to return things to normal without putting your feelings out there, you invited him over for a binge watching session. if a six hour marathon of the office couldn’t fix things, nothing could.

after you ran to the kitchen to make a bag of microwave popcorn, you crawled back into your bed next to sweet pea. you tried to snuggle into his side, like you usually did whenever the two of you watched tv together, but you just couldn’t get comfortable. every time you tried to cuddle into him or he wrapped his arm around you, you felt as though your heart was going to jump right out of your chest.

as you watched the office crew go through the dundies ceremony at a chilli’s restaurant, you subtly put a few inches between you and sweet pea.

or, you thought you were being subtle.

sweet pea reached over to hit the pause button. “why are you fidgeting so much?” he asked.

“i’m not,” you fibbed as you scooted a teeny bit farther away from him. “just trying to get comfortable is all.”

he stared at you, suspicion written on his face. you knew that he didn’t believe you, but fortunately, he didn��t push the issue. he unpaused the show and turned his focus back to the screen.

a few minutes passed before he tried to put his arm around you again. when you saw him reaching for you, you moved away. but you failed to notice that you were extremely close to the edge of the bed, and next thing you knew, you were sprawled out on your bedroom floor.

“y/n, what the hell?” sweet pea grumbled as he peered down at you with a bewildered look on his face. “what is your problem?”

you groaned loudly as you buried your face in your hands. you hated that you just couldn’t seem to act like a normal person around sweet pea anymore. you had turned into a flailing nervous wreck who freaked out at the simplest of touches from him. it was so out of character for you to be this bent out of shape over a boy, even if the boy was as great of a boy as sweet pea. you weren’t acting like yourself anymore and you couldn’t stand it.

“sweet pea, i think i need to be alone,” you said quietly. “could you please leave?”

“wait...what?” sweet pea was out of your bed and by your side in a flash. “y/n, what’s wrong?”

you shook your head as you shrugged his hand off of your shoulder. “i don’t want to talk about it. i just want to be alone,” you mumbled.

“oh great, so you’re back to this shit again,” sweet pea muttered as he stood up.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, your head snapping up to glare at him. “i’m allowed to want to be alone.”

he scoffed at you as he snatched his jacket up from the back of your desk chair, where he had tossed it when he first got to your place. his face hardened into a scowl and he returned your glare.

“you know, the possibility of you losing me isn’t because of me,” he said, his tone biting. “if you keep pushing me away, what do you think is going to happen?”

“i’m not pushing you away-” you tried to argue, but sweet pea cut you off.

“don’t mistake my loyalty for desperation, y/n,” he warned you. “i’m not gonna stick around and let you lie to me and keep secrets from me just because you can’t get your thoughts and feelings straight. i may be in deep, but i’m not a sucker.”

he stomped out of your room and a few moments later, you heard the front door of your home slam shut.

you stared ahead blankly as you tried to process what had just happened. and once you did, you burst into tears.

sweet pea knew that you loved him, he loved you back, and you may have just majorly fucked everything up.

you experienced an odd feeling in your gut as you walked down the front steps of riverdale high for what would probably be the last time for a very long time. on the one hand, you were ecstatic to finally be a high school graduate. there were some times where you weren’t sure if you were going to make it to this day. but also, you knew that you were going to miss being a student at this school. sure, you hated it when you first arrived, but it really did grow on you as time passed.

once you made it to the bottom step, you turned to face the school. you watched as your fellow classmates burst through the doors, chattering excitedly about the graduation ceremony that had just ended. you didn’t think you were going to feel so emotional about being finished high school, but here you were, with tears in your eyes.

“y/n!”

you whipped around to see your mom coming toward you with a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms. hopping down from the last step, you made your way over to her.

“i’m so proud of you, sweetie!” she gushed as she handed the flowers off to you. “i can’t believe we made it to this day! you’re officially done high school.”

“thanks, mom,” you said as you examined the flowers in your arms.

she took you into her arms and squeezed you tightly. “i can’t believe you’re going to be leaving to go to college in a few months. oh, i’m just so proud of you! my baby is about to be a college girl,” she chattered.

she patted you a few times on your cheek before she released her hold on you. “are you ready to go home?” she asked.

“yeah, i need to take these shoes off,” you sighed, looking down at the five inch heels that you had stupidly thought would be a good idea for a graduation ceremony. “they’re killing my feet.”

your mom chuckled. “i told you they wouldn’t be comfortable.”

you rolled your eyes and followed behind her as she headed toward the parking lot. she made it only a few feet before she stopped in her tracks, causing you to bump into her.

“there’s pea,” she announced as she pointed to the far end of the parking lot. “huh, he’s with ben. i’m surprised he showed up.”

you followed the direction of her finger and when your eyes landed on sweet pea, your heart rate sped up. you looked on as his dad spoke to him, and from the looks of things, it was not a pleasant conversation. sweet pea was staring off in the distance as his dad wagged his finger at him and waved his arms around a lot. you could also see sweet pea’s grandmother standing a few feet away from the two men. the annoyed look on her face confirmed your suspicion that whatever sweet pea’s dad was saying to him wasn’t anything nice.

sweet pea’s only living grandparent was his mom’s mother. he lived with her in a trailer at sunnyside trailer park, and had been ever since his mom first got sick. his grandmother had raised him as though he was her son, and she loved him so much, so needless to say, she couldn’t stand his father. on more than one occasion, you had been present when she went off on a long-winded rant in khmer about how much of a piece of shit ben was. sweet pea was always more than happy to translate her harsh statements for you because you knew that he agreed with her. hell, you agreed with her.

benjamin walsh was never going to win any father or husband of the year awards. as soon as sweet pea’s mom became sick, ben booked it out of town, leaving sweet pea with his grandmother. apparently, he had claimed that it was too hard for him to see his wife in such a sick state, but you called bullshit. he was just a cowardly bastard who decided that he didn’t want to be there for his wife and son when they needed him most. he wasn’t that great of a father to begin with, so it wasn’t exactly a shock to anyone that he wasn’t around when his son really needed him to be. sweet pea tried to play it off like it didn’t bother him that his dad did that to him, but you knew that it had hurt him a lot.

ben had been in and out of his son’s life ever since. unfortunately, whenever he chose to be in it, he was awful to sweet pea. he was full of criticism and complaints that he thinly veiled as “advice.”  

you had wanted to tell ben to go to hell for years, but sweet pea always talked you down. even though his father was awful to him, he just couldn’t cut him out of his life completely. you understood where he was coming from, seeing as you knew you would feel the same way if your father ever returned into your life, but it killed you to see how much of a negative effect ben had on sweet pea. sweet pea always carried himself in a very confident manner, but you knew that his father had done a number on his self-esteem. he had doubts about if he was strong enough, smart enough, and enough of a man because his father always told him that he wasn’t.   

basically, benjamin walsh was a piece of shit and you wanted to bash his face in.

“you should go congratulate pea,” your mom suggested, nudging you forward.

you hadn’t had any contact with sweet pea since your fight, other than the text that he sent the sunday night after, telling you that he wouldn’t be coming to pick you up before school the following day. you had to ask your mom to drop you off at school on her way to work, alerting her that something was going on between you and sweet pea. that evening, once she came home from work, she demanded that you spill the details, and you told her everything.

she wasn’t the only one to notice that things had changed between you and sweet pea. everyone in town was so used to seeing the two of you together, that you had gotten many strange looks as you went through your normal day to day routine without sweet pea by your side. even veronica lodge had pulled you aside the other day after history class to ask you what was going on with you and sweet pea. you hadn’t even realized that she was aware of who you were, let alone that you and sweet pea were practically attached at the hip.

“i don’t think that’s such a good idea,” you said as you tried to wiggle out of her grip. “he probably still doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

she sighed as she leveled you with her trademark disappointed mom stare. “i think you two have dragged this fight out long enough,” she told you. “you’re willing to throw away twelve years of friendship over this? and you’re willing to miss out on what could possibly be a really great relationship because you won’t tell him how you feel about him?”

“mom, it’s not that simple.”

she stared at you for what felt like an eternity before she sighed again. “fine. i’m going over there to congratulate him. you can go wait in the car if you want.”

she handed you her keys and you walked as quickly as your heels would carry you to the car. from the rearview mirror, you watched as she walked over to sweet pea and his family. ben tried to engage in a conversation with her, but she blew him off, and instead turned her attention to sweet pea. she gave him a hug and said a few words to him. he said something back, an unsure look on his face, to which she replied with a wave of her hand and another hug. she hugged his grandmother as well, then snubbed ben again, before she headed your way.

“grandma chanlina says hello,” she told you as she got into the car.

the drive back to your house was silent. the look on your mom’s face was hard to read. you couldn’t tell if she was mad at you for refusing to talk to sweet pea or not. you really hoped not, because you weren’t sure if you could take another person being mad at you.

when you got back to the house, you hurried out of the car and up to your room. you had to get those torture devices off of your feet. you changed out of the dress that you had worn for the graduation ceremony and into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before you headed back downstairs.

“y/n, can you come here for a sec?” your mom called from the kitchen. “i want to talk to you.”

you sighed quietly and rolled your eyes as you headed toward the kitchen. you already knew what this conversation was going to be about.

when you entered the kitchen, you found your mom sitting down at the kitchen table. she waved you over and you slid into the seat across from her.

“i wanted to apologize to you,” she said, surprising the hell out of you.

you figured that she had called you to the kitchen to lecture you.

“for what?” you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion.

“look, i know that you never had an example of what a healthy, loving relationship looks like when you were growing up because of your father and i. i know how important that can be for a child,” she explained as she took your hands in hers. “i’m so sorry for that and i always will be.”

“mom, you don’t have to apologize for that. it’s not your fault that dad didn’t want to stick around. if anyone should be apologizing to me, it’s him, not you.”

your mom frowned and gave your hands a squeeze. “i do have to apologize, honey. i didn’t realize just how much our split affected you. with everything that’s gone on in these past few days, i’ve realized something about you; you’re afraid of forming romantic relationships. and i think a big part of that is because the relationship between your father and i didn’t work out. and that’s not fair to you at all. you’re going to miss out on so much with that mindset.”

“i am not afraid of that!” you argued as you snatched your hands away from her. “just because i don’t want to tell sweet pea how i feel about him doesn’t mean i have some weird intimacy issues because dad left. don’t try to psychoanalyze me, mom.”

“i’m not trying to psychoanalyze you. but, honey, you are afraid and not just because admitting your feelings for someone can be nerve-wrecking.”

you crossed your arms over your chest and glared at her.

“obviously, i’m no expert on what true love is. but when i look at you and pea, i think you guys have a damn good chance of being the poster kids for it,” she admitted. “you two have been through so much together and you’ve seen the other at their worst and still stayed by each other’s side. that’s one of the biggest hurdles in a relationship and you guys have already been there and done that. the love between you two is so great and i just don’t want to see you throw it away.”

you remained silent, but you lowered your narrowed eyes from her face, to the table in front of you.

she stood from her chair and came around the table to place a kiss on your forehead. “i love you and i just want you to be happy, sweetie,” she murmured. “i really believe that you have a great chance of being happy with sweet pea. but that’s up to you to decide.”

she left the kitchen and headed to the upper level of the house.

you stayed at the kitchen table, pissed off because you knew that your mom was right.

before, you could write your fear of romantic relationships off as normal. people broke up with their boyfriends and girlfriends all of the time without it being a problem, so you didn’t see why your breakups had to be any different. sure, you purposely pushed your perfectly nice boyfriends away because they tried to get to know you on a deeper level, but that didn’t mean you had any unresolved issues with meaningful relationships because your dad left you when you were young. or, at least that’s what you told yourself.

for a long time, in the back of your mind, you had known that your non-existent relationship with your dad had an impact on you. you tried to bury it down and you thought you had been doing a good job of it. but the whole situation with sweet pea brought those issues to the surface and you didn’t think that you could brush the issues aside any longer.

“fuck,” you whispered as you picked up your phone to make a call.

you heard the rumble of sweet pea’s motorcycle before you saw it. you watched from your perch on the playground swing as he pulled into the elementary school’s parking lot. he rose from the bike, removed his helmet, and ran his fingers through his hair before making his way toward the playground where you had agreed to meet. without a word, he plopped down onto the swing next to you and started to rock back and forth. the two of you swung in silence for a few minutes until you finally broke the silence, not able to take it any longer.

“hi,” you greeted, your voice barely above a whisper.

sweet pea grunted in response.

you bit down on your bottom lip as you stared at him out of the corner of your eye. you had so much to say to him, but you didn’t know where to start.

“can you stop biting down on your lip like that?” he grumbled after a couple more minutes of neither of you speaking. “i’m trying to be mad at you and i can’t if you keep doing that.”

your eyes widened and a blush spread across your cheeks. “sorry,” you mumbled as you began to bite down on your thumbnail instead.

several more minutes of silence stretched out between you two until you finally mustered up the nerve to tell sweet pea the truth.

“i love you, sweets,” you admitted as you stared ahead at the playground. “i’m crazy about you. but i know that i fucked up majorly. i haven’t been fair to you at all these past few weeks. instead of just talking to you about it, i did what i’ve always done with all of my other boyfriends, and i pushed you away. and you deserve way better than that because you’re way more than some silly high school boyfriend to me. you’re my best friend, my confidant, and my favorite person, but i haven’t been treating you that way lately. i’m so sorry.”

sweet pea didn’t say anything for a long time. after a couple minutes of silence, he pulled his switchblade out of his pocket and started fiddling with it, a nervous habit of his.

your heart pounded in your chest as you waited for him to say something, anything in response to your confession. maybe you really had messed everything up and he decided that you were more trouble than you were worth. maybe he just didn’t know how to let you down easy.

“dammit!” he yelled suddenly, jumping up from the swing and storming off.

your mouth dropped open as you watched him walk away from you.

your shock quickly turned into anger. you may have messed up, but you thought you deserved more than him stomping off without an explanation.

“hey!” you called as you ran after him. “you can’t just walk away from me. not again!”

sweet pea stopped in his tracks and whipped back around, frustration written all over his face. “this is exactly why this is never going to work! you’re always going to be worried that i’m going to walk away, so you’re going to pick fights,” he shouted.

“wow, nice, pea, thanks,” you bit out sarcastically. “i’m so sorry that my abandonment issues are too much for you to deal with. because they’re just a walk in the fucking park for me.”

the grimace on sweet pea’s face softened the slightest bit. “that’s not...i’m sorry. that came out wrong. i meant that your response to anyone who’s dating you trying to get close to you is to push them away. i get that your issues aren’t something that you can just get rid of overnight, but can you be sure that you’ll actually be able to get rid of them? because i’m not sure it’s going to work out if you can’t,” he explained.

“you sound like such a dick right now.” you laughed humorlessly as you tried to make sense of the crap coming out of your best friend’s mouth. “again, i’m sorry that my issues aren’t something that i can just fold up and pack away in a box. i can’t be sure that i’m going to be able to get rid of them. they very well could be something that i’m stuck with for the rest of my life, but i’m willing to try for you. i could never say that about any of my old boyfriends. but because it’s you, i’m willing to try to work through those problems so that i can have a shot at a relationship with you. but maybe i shouldn’t even bother because you’re being such an asshole about it. you know what, forget i called you here today. forget i said that i love you. i take it back, i don’t.”

you pushed past sweet pea and headed toward the exit of the playground. you made it about halfway there before sweet pea’s voice stopped you.

“i love you too. and it scares the shit out of me,” he confessed, his normally steady voice wavering a bit. “i’m scared that we’re going to fight all of the time and you’re going to be in and out of my life because of that. you’ve been a constant in my life for as long as i can remember and i’m so fucking terrified of not having that anymore.”

and then it hit you that, while you had deep-seated issues caused by your father to deal with, sweet pea had his own issues to deal with as well.

people had dipped in and out of sweet pea’s world for his whole life. he was used to people entering and exiting his life at the drop of a hat, some wrecking havoc before leaving him behind to clean up the pieces. he always appeared to take it in stride, but you could see now that it had taken a toll on him.

you turned and strode back to where sweet pea stood. “i’m sorry. i was being really self-centered and didn’t think about how my problems might affect you. that was a dick move,” you apologized. “and i take back what i just took back. i do love you. so much. it was shitty to say that i don’t because i got mad. that was another dick move. i’m sorry i’ve been such an asshole lately.”

you bit down on your bottom lip as you stared up at sweet pea, waiting for him to say something in response.

“you’re doing that on purpose so that i won’t stay mad at you, aren’t you?” he asked, gesturing toward your mouth.

“maybe...”

he rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth turned upward in the smallest of smiles. “okay, okay, it worked,” he mumbled. “i’m sorry for being an asshole too. i shouldn’t have thrown your abandonment issues in your face like that. that was messed up.”

a couple beats of silence passed between the two of you. but then, sweet pea finally asked the question that had been on both of your minds.

“so...now what?”

taglist: @the-greatt-perhaps, @everheart12, @osculatcr, @lisannehus, @gingerfangirlthefeels, @blueeyedbesson, @dontaskshhhhh

I know that I’m missing at least one person for the taglist and I’m so sorry! I’m an idiot and deleted part of the list that I had of people who asked to be tagged. If I forgot you in the tag list, please send me a message and let me know.

[waywcrdsons-blog]

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ henry cavill + cismale + he/him — have you met maksym petran? they are a thirty eight years old known around town as the the prevaricator. they’ve been in the gang life for two months, and currently work for the gang as a soldier, as well as a private investigator. they are a bisexual gemini, which means they are protective + level headed, as well as stubborn + secretive. faded bullet hole scar, worry lines, frayed photographs. × tony. twenty five. he/him. gmt. 

hey there! i’m tony. i’m 25. irish. generally a mess but sure look, who isn’t. i’ve managed to get mamma mia! here we go again (2018) to step off my neck long enough to free up one of my two braincells to let me figure this lad out and i’m very excited to write him with you all. 

                                                         ABOUT.

Maksym Hadeon Petran -- goes by Maks.

Born in May in 1980 in Kiev, Ukraine to Adrian and Vivianna. 

Older brother of Nikolas Petran. 

Father to Nicholas Petran (5).

 Moved to Valdez, Colorado with his family when he was 14 years old. Initially, he found it difficult to acclimate to life in a new town, in a strange land, but gradually he began to get used to it. Unlike his father, he was a free thinker with dreams bigger than that of a company man. 

He was out of Valdez and out of the family home as soon as he got his college acceptance letter, leaving barely a trace of himself behind as he set off to Seattle on a scholarship. He did fairly well despite English being his second language, but he dropped out of college in his second year to pursue a career in law enforcement. 

This was the same year that he was woken up at 3am by a phone call from a sympathetic voice telling him they were sorry to call so late, but something horrible has happened. Both his parents slain like pigs in their home, leaving him and his brother orphans. Despite his intentions to look after Niko himself, it was too late by the time he had returned, Balthazar Caito had gotten his hooks into him deep and with nothing to offer him, he resolved to leave him there until he got his life together and then he would return for his only remaining family. 

Maks kept his head down and relocated to Kansas so he could at least feel he was nearby and got a job as a police officer, rising up the ranks to detective. While he loves his work, another part of him wondered if it was a final of rebellion against his father -- what was more of a fuck you to the son of a criminal than that same criminal in a badge and blues putting away guys who were like the man who raised him? 

But for the most part, Maks has a strong moral compass and a clear idea in his mind of what’s right and what’s wrong, and he settled into this job well. It was easy to forget his roots when faced with a new life and a path that he chose to walk instead of being told was what he had to do but there was one piece of his past he couldn’t leave behind -- his brother. 

The weeks meshed into years before he knew it, his career remaining steady and the fulfilment he got from it like no other. The idea of reaching out became more difficult as time got the better of him. He kept track of Niko, of course he did, but he had been taught well and it grew harder and harder to get information on him. 

Until one fateful evening when assisting on a narcotics case with one of his detectives he spotted a familiar face in a photograph. Older than he remembered and rough around the ages, the grainy CCTV screen capture bore an image of his brother with the words PERSON OF INTEREST underlined in bold red letters beneath. 

This discovery was what lit a fire beneath him, despite the life he had made for himself in Kansas, he knew that the time had come when he had no choice but to go back for his brother. This departure was made equally as difficult by the fact he wasn’t just leaving behind a job but a little boy too, with eyes as blue as his and a name he shared with his long lost uncle. 

Telling himself it was in his boys best interest did nothing to soothe the ache that it caused in him, but he couldn’t be deterred. His return to Valdez was done quietly, getting the lay of the land and a feel for the town again. Rather than join the police force in his “homestate” he had quit altogether, electing instead to set up his own private investigation business which allowed for him to continue to gather intel without raising too many suspicions. 

Six months after he moved back he made it known that he wished to take what he called his rightful place in the organization. With two parents who had given their life for the cause, he was sure that his long sabbatical on the moral high road could be overlooked with some useful information that only someone who had walked down the roads he had could provide. 

He’s been a soldier for the past two months, deliberate in his attempt to not make too many waves as he tries to toe a dangerous line between a good man and a good soldier. 

                                                         PERSONALITY. 

While Maks can be withdrawn and sullen, for the most part he projects himself as easy going. A pathological liar, he’s gotten used to having to tell fib after fib since his return, which has gotten easier with each time he’s had to do it. Slow to drinker and never one to dabble in using drugs, he likes to keep a clear head about him at all times -- it was safer that way. 

Stubborn to a fault, he can be hotheaded when pressed despite trying to remain reserved. He’s deeply devoted to his family, to the point where he’ll let other personal connections wither if his brother or his son need him. They’ll always come first. 

                                                         WANTED CONNECTIONS. 

These aren’t fleshed out yet, but I’ll send them to the main when they are! The general gist of them would be:

GHOSTS OF THE PAST -- those who would remember him from age 14-18 as a quiet Ukranian teenage boy with a funny accent and broken English at first. Could be friends, lovers, enemies. Pretty much open to anything. 

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU -- His baby mamaaaa. I’m keeping that as vague as possible but he would have met her in Kansas sometime six years ago. Could have been earlier and they could have been a relationship, could have been a one night stand that resulted in a son. This one would have to be discussed && plotted in great detail because aside from Niko it would be the most central personal relationship in his life. Could be unrequited feelings, antagonistic as shit, exes with feelings. I’m breeeeezy. 

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY -- people who work in Valdez with connections with law enforcement out of state. Maybe they worked a case or two in Kansas? Maybe they interacted at out of state meetings? Worked together on cross state cases? Maybe they know the extent of his career as a police officer and realise what a fun blackmail opportunity could be given his current attempt at gang life.

YES two out of three of them are song ABBA song titles. and YES i am deeply sorry for that. if any of these interest u or u just wanna yell at me about life, dogs or the mamma mia franchise my ims are open and or feel free to add me on discord @ -- can you hear the drums fernando?#0510 (i know that’s another one... meryl streep pay for my therapy 2k18.) 

[justavengeit]

"You dropped it; finders keepers" IM DEAD XD also I wasn't really looking for a shock moment I mostly just wanted to see bucky's fixation on tony and his way of looking at the world.

Rhodey, outraged, summoning the War Machine armor: i didn’t drop SHIT

Mm! To me it seems like a lot of people really adore that ‘shock and awe’ moment of ‘here it is, this is it, this person is shining and amazing and i have immediately fallen in love and will devote myself from here on out’ - and I love it too, honestly, but I’ve never been able to write it. That’s not how I write attraction and love *shrug* The more I struggled to answer your ask to my satisfaction, the more confused and twisted up i made myself lmao. I really just take Bucky’s fixation on Tony for granted. 

So the thing about Bucky is that despite everything, he stockholmed himself to his captors, even when they brutalized him. That takes a special level of survival drive - a special level of incredible emotional and psychological damage. I rarely bother with writing a Bucky that thinks he ‘can become’ a Real Boy or even wants to become a ‘real boy.’ I’m honestly too convinced of the fact that he’s too damaged to allow that kind of concept to cross his mind out of pure self preservation. He doesn’t get frustrated with himself over his PTSD and breaks from reality because that’s just How Bucky Barnes Functions. That’s just business as usual for him.

He does get frustrated when other people expect him to behave as a standard issue human, though, because why would he? Spring a surprise party on him and almost get shot in the face, and honestly that’s your own fault because what did you think was going to happen, really?? Whereas if Natasha or Tony nearly shoot you in the face over a surprise party, they’ll be embarrassed and give themselves a hard time about it. Instead of, you know, correctly wondering what the fuck people who know you have PTSD and hyper-vigilance issues thought they were doing.

So anyway, Bucky and his weird fixation on Tony. I phrase it this way because in the end, all things end up coming back to Tony with Bucky. He’s more than happy to live out his life in a rural village doing handy work for dinner. Bucky’s motivations mostly revolve around ‘what can I do that will cause the least amount of damage to everyone involved.’ He basically wants to live quietly while helping people, which is something native to his basic personality. 

Prior to Siberia, Bucky would have been willing to fight whatever ‘good fight’ Steve brought to his door if it were necessary (his opinion previous to the bombing was ‘you have a perfectly good team, steve, fuck off’ but then he got backed into a corner and took the best way out of it). Bucky doesn’t want to fight. He’s an incredibly effective weapon. People will die.

Then you bring him into contact with Tony Stark, and whereas before that, Tony Stark is like a talisman against the destruction wrought by the Winter Soldier (kind of a forest fire analogy, and a weird, twisted one, since Tony was never actually in danger from the winter soldier), Bucky basically gets all his Winter Soldier baggage rubbed in his face like a naughty dog. He spent years unable to escape the legacy of Stark Industries no matter where he went, carefully attaching all this baggage to Tony Stark, and now Tony Stark is in his face demanding answers, demanding he take responsibility and quit pretending what happened doesn’t matter.

Bucky would have been weird about any of the survivors of families he’s decimated. The fact that Tony ties in closer to his forgotten past and could-have-been future than the others is only salt on the wound. The fact that Steve and the rest of the team are tied up in knots about Tony Stark only exacerbates the situation. Bucky hasn’t been able to escape the legacy of Tony Stark since he got away from Hydra. He’s like some kind of omnipresent force of nature, like the sun if the sun wanted you to answer to your sins.

HYDRA happened to Bucky. Steve happened to Bucky. But Bucky happened to Tony Stark, and that matters. So.

in the brokemachine verse, Thanos invades before this matter of the pardons could go down, and it was the rogues’ actions during the invasion that creates the opportunity for talk about pardons (services rendered etc etc). Bucky is deeply baffled by the fact that Tony would be working to get the pardons signed when he no longer has use for any of them. T’Challa, due to his obligations towards Bucky and his work with Tony during and in the aftermath of the invasion, orchestrates a situation where both of them can resolve their issues with one another, starting with Bucky asking to be allowed a pardon, and Tony working on that outside of trying to leverage Bucky’s pardon against Steve.

Bucky starts to contemplate the idea of actually resolving his Winter Soldier issues now that Tony’s opened a path to do so, and as Tony is the one that’s orchestrated this opportunity to start making amends, Bucky focuses on Tony. Tony is the injured party, Tony made it possible for Bucky to ‘come home,’ Tony is paying for the therapy and experimental procedures to fix Bucky, Tony is still wandering around with those dark eyes and that clenched jaw, designing up and maintaining a better arm than Bucky’s ever had before. It’s Tony’s ghost telling him he’s still not doing enough, and Tony rejecting his apologies (and why shouldn’t he, it’s not like Bucky can make amends for what he did, he can’t unkill Tony’s parents, undo Steve’s secrets), and Tony who holds Bucky’s fate in the palm of his hand and despite the bitterness and resentment, never curls that hand shut and crushes Bucky the way he should.

Bucky starts to work incredibly hard on resolving/owning the whole Winter Soldier mess (violently destabilizing himself in the process) because he’s trying to measure up to becoming something Tony Stark can approve of - or if not that, at least use. Bucky seeks absolution from Tony because Tony needs him to, and it’s the least Bucky can do for all the expense Tony has put out on maintaining Bucky.

So they have this weird kind of unspoken dialogue, and then in a broke machine, Tony consciously lets go of his anger and resentment, thus releasing Bucky from the burden of absolution, and allowing their relationship to evolve into something new and nurturing. They can start to heal together instead of working at odds to one another.

Well, as much healing as Bucky can do anyway. He has a safe space to figure out what the fuck is going on with his head and what he actually wants from the world at large, now, because Tony was generous before he liked Bucky, and he only all too clearly likes Bucky now, and the idea of someone actually liking Bucky as he is, now, instead of just working with him for someone else’s sake, or because of the man he once was, or because they pity him  - well. No one thinks of a cat as greedy for curling up in a warm spot of sunshine all to themselves, do they?

[tonystarkbingo]

Week 10 Roundup!  Go forth and discover what all of our wonderful collaborators came up with this week!

Title: A Heart Beats at Midnight Collaborator: trashcanakin Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Past Tense Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Team Cap Critical, inner turmoil, mutual pining Summary: Bucky & Tony share a non-moment and grow a little closer. Or a lot. Yes, definitely a lot. Word Count: 749

Title: Ball Pit Battle Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - asking for trouble Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: fluff and humor, Avengers family Summary: This is one civil war that won't end in blood and tears. Well... hopefully. Ball pits can be a dangerous place. Word Count: 2592

Title: Magic Fingers Collaborator: serenial Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - backrubs/massages Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: sleep deprivation, fluff Summary: Tony hasn't slept in God knows how long; JARVIS rats him out to a certain Winter Soldier that works his magic on the dead-inside genius. Word Count: 1370

Collaborator: monobuu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - Groot Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, craft Summary: Groot painted flower pots

Title: Redeemed Collaborator: Iron_Eirlyssa (Eirlyssa) Link: AO3 Square Filled: S5 - image of Tony in the workshop fixing the armor Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: redemption, drabble Summary: Tony works on the Iron Man armor as he thinks. Word Count: 100

Title: Secrets whispered in the night Collaborator: ironstrange-is-the-endgame Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S5 - supernatural Ship: IronStrange Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: Stephen is a royal prince who meets a commoner, Tony, plagued with a curse: he turns into a dark creature every night. At first, Tony is scared that Stephen could ask for his head, but what he and everyone else don’t know is that Stephen is also cursed: he’s a wizard. So, during the nights, Stephen uses his magic to entertain Tony and to make his transformation less painful. They eventually develop a friendship and, maybe, even something more.

Title: Shake Your Graveclothes Off Collaborator: monobuu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - Graveyard Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, ghost Summary: Our boys are getting spooky! There might be a fic for this eventually, but the premise is: Tony’s a centuries-old witch who discovers a ghost from the 40’s who also happens to be smokin hot. So of course he’s gonna do some witchy shit so that his new boyfriend can leave the graveyard and they can go on adventures.

Title: Babysitting Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 - WTF Ship: none Rating: Not Rated Major Tags: Obadiah Stane's B+ Parenting, Alcohol abuse Summary: Obadiah looks at the construction before him and suppresses a sigh. Apparently, it’s going to be one of those days. Carefully ensuring his jocular ‘Uncle Obie’ tone is in place, he approaches. “Hey, Tony, how ya doing in there?” Word Count: 501

Title: call the minions (fire up the lab) Collaborator: calmena Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - crack Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: shapeshifters, fluff Summary: In which Bucky begins to bond with a dog in Stark's lab, and the dog turns out to be... something else. Word Count: 1536

Title: Take this Job (And Shove it Out the Airlock) Collaborator: tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - sci-fi/future AU Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: non-consensual drug use Summary: All Tony needed was a job…. But really, press-ganging wasn’t his style. Word Count: 1486

Title: I don't even paint... Collaborator: KahunaBurger Link: AO3 Square Filled: Chapter 1: T4 - fusion,  Chapter 2: A3 - free space Ship: none Rating: Teen Major Tags: Stargate SG1 Fusion Summary: General Fury wants Tony Stark brought into Stargate Command, Tony and his silent partner want everyone to relax and stop waving guns around, the Winter Soldier wants to meet a Muse, and Sgt Barnes just wants Fury to stop dangling his metal arm like geek catnip. Word Count: 1843

Title: Legacy Collaborator: NastyBambino Link: AO3 Square Filled: S3 -  Next Generation Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard, Riri Williams Summary: "I want to *fly*."

Title: Whoops Collaborator: ethereal-lullabies Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S4 - Image, Should I take the shot? Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: moodboard,  sexual undertones Summary: WinterIron moodboard

Title: Vanilla And Lovin' It Collaborator: camichats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 -  KINK: aphrodisiacs Ship: IronWidow Rating: Teen Major Tags: implied sexual content Summary: Tony thinks that he’s old, and he wants to give Natasha a reason to stay with him. Somehow, him fucking it up isn’t even a bump in the road. Word Count: 1541 

Title: I have met my destiny (In quite a similar way) Collaborator: bennettmp339 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 -  KINK: Costume Porn Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: Iron Man suit Summary: Tony gets arrested. It's not Steve's fault. Word Count: 1128

Title: K2- "I do like fireworks" Collaborator: thudworm Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 - image of Tony working on Bucky’s arm Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: fake relationship, getting together Summary: Tony and Bucky start spending time together. Other people make assumptions. Word Count: 707

Title: Truth Is... I'm Not Iron Man Collaborator: camichats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K2 - First Date Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Mature Major Tags: identity porn, getting together, kidnapping, injuries, cuddling Summary: The public doesn't know, but the team sure knows that Tony Stark is Iron Man. There are disagreements about getting him to admit it, and of course the biggest problem with that is, well, he isn't Iron Man. Rhodey's Iron Man, and it's a very specific kind of torture for Tony to see the man he's been in love with for most of his life to be in danger 24/7. Word Count: 9642

Title: If Wishes Were Horses Collaborator: camichats Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - Worst Case Scenario Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Star Trek fusion, near death experiences, pining, getting together Summary: Tony's had an obvious crush on Bucky for a while, but it's taken to a whole new level when his imagination manifests a version of Bucky that's all over him. Word Count: 1814

Title: Collared Collaborator: HogwartsToAlexandria Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 -  KINK: collars Ship: IronStrange Rating: mature Major Tags: Dom/sub, kink discovery Summary: Tony had come home to the penthouse to find Stephen not exactly kneeling for him but sitting kneeled in the center of the bed nonetheless, once, twice, until he stopped pretending it was just a perfect position to sit idly by himself, until Tony could stop hiding his faint smirks, not buying it for a second. It was a beautiful show to witness, that of such a strong-willed man with such a clear idea of who he was, or so he thought, battling with himself for weeks on end before he let go. Word Count: 2507

Title: Ghosts Collaborator: martianwahtney Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - gardening Ship: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes/Matt Murdock Rating: Gen Major Tags: eventual OT3, Maria Stark's good parenting, Bucky recovering, Tony Stark has a heart Summary: “I don’t trust him,” Matt said shortly. Next to him, Tony shrugged. “He’s cute!” On Tony’s other side, Rhodes sighed so hard that Matt felt it. “Matt you don’t even know him,” Tony added. “He always finds a way to be in the same room as you, I don’t have to know him to not trust him,” Matt shot back. “Maybe he thinks I’m cute,” “You are. But I doubt that’s his reason,” Matt replied, smirking as Tony’s heart beat audibly quickened. A series of events lead up to Tony Stark, Matt Murdock, and James Barnes at MIT. As expected, shenanigans ensue. Word Count: 744

Title: Apology Collaborator: mitochondrials Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R1 - apology Ship: Tony/Namor Rating: Mature Major Tags: Blood, Implied Violence Summary: Moodboard

Title: Starlord Collaborator: sereinial Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K3- Starlord Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: A Peter Quill/Starlord moodboard for TSB 2019.

Title On the Run Collaborator: Queen_of_the_Avengers Link: tumblr Square Filled: K1 - On the Run Ship: Natasha Romanoff x Reader Rating: Teen Major Tags: angst, fluff Summary: You and Natasha were accused of the murder of King T’Chaka and now all of Wakanda is out for your blood. You will never stop being on the run Word Count: 877