#the last time i bought something unimportant was cannabis seeds that she wanted me to get
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I desperately want to start playing trumpet again I literally can't stop thinking about it
#i own a very very very shitty trumpet but its in storage in the back house (we have 2 trailers combined by a scary room) and is going to#take tremendous effort to get to. i eitber have to break into the back door that has no stair case#or move all of the furniture in the living room to unblock the door into the scary room#and I'll also have to use a flashlight the entire time because the electricity is turned off back there#and also idk if the trumpet is even still good its been in storage for 10 years ya know#did i mention its super shitty and i paid $100 for it like 12 years ago#my other option is to save up my game money for probably 6 months and buy a second hand on off Facebook marketplace#because i am unemployed and while my sister does pay our bills and i get food stamps#i don't get money for fun stuff ever. i just don't think my sister thinks about it which makes me sad#at least once a month she gets a silly little package of stuff she buys for herself to make her happy#i don't. and i don't want her to feel bad about it because she deserves nice things but like i get sad because i can't but thinga#the last time i bought something unimportant was cannabis seeds that she wanted me to get#because she prefers smoking to taking edibles#before that my mom gave me $50 for my birthday and i still could only bring myself to spend $40 at the craft store#i used the other $10 for cat food that we didn't even actually need at the time#because i feel guilty asking for anything let alone stuff that isn't a necessity
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