#the lady from UP isn't calling me so the internship she told me about was probably a bust :|

[whispering-kavka]

please please please someone hire me so i can buy myself that pretty deck without feeling guilty

[djbunnie]

Oooo!!! What if Sam helped Danny with the "dodging the bullet" moment!!!

Sam knew Danny in highschool Peripherally. He was one of the popular kids (the good kind). And Sam was a bookworm. The new girl Paulina, Sam and she became friends (along with Val, star, dora) a few months later, Paulina started dating Danny. At first she seemed cool and they would talk about everything. At one point, she starts talking about how she has been hooking up with her ex-boyfriend (Dash Baxter) behind Danny’s back. Just before the end of the school year. Paulina tells Sam she is pregnant and that she knows it belongs to her ex boyfriend. She is laughing and really proud of herself because Danny is going to do the right thing. Withdraw his college application and go work to support her and the baby. Her ex, the father of the baby, is kind of a loser, so she thinks it’s the best thing, even if she can continue banging dash while making Danny support her. 

Sam really didn’t know Danny that well, but she got his phone number from an acquaintance of hers who knew it (Tucker Foley aka Danny BFF). Sam anonymously Texted him about the Paulina ploy and said “get a paternity test. The baby isn't yours.”

He then thanked Sam. (through text)

Danny and Paulina broke up. He cussed her out and Danny went to college and made something of his life.

I thought maybe... Paulina told Danny that they had sex at a party when they were drunk, Danny believed her of course, it made sense at the time. but in reality they never had sex because Paulina was with Dash.

Sam did the right thing; she cut Paulina off and moved on with her life…

Meanwhile, before they graduate. Danny wanted to know who sent him the text? He wanted to thank them personally, and wanted to repay them by saving his life.  After a couple of days, Danny almost wanted to give up. He tried calling and texting them. But they didn't respond. Until, when Danny arrived at Nasty Burger and sat at the booth next to Val, star, dora. He overheard their conversation about their ex-friend and how they were lucky to have good friends like Sam in their lives. Praising her for warning Danny from paulina.

When Danny learned that it was Sam who warned him, he went to find her...but Sam was really busy. Because they were graduating soon, Sam was too busy apartment hunting, packing her stuff, and etc.

Unfortunately they never did meet up, after graduation Sam left right away. (I'm being lazy so I'm going to reuse some of the office love idea lol) Sam and Danny met again later in life, (they are 25-26 years old) Sam and Danny were at a bar or some cafe. It was Danny who approached her first. 

Danny: “Sam is that you?”

Sam: “huh? I'm sorry, do I know you?”

Danny: “It’s me Danny! Danny Fenton…we went to the same highschool…and you saved me from Paulina.”

Sam: “Oh! OMG!!! Danny!!!”

Danny: *Chuckle*

They got to talking about life, careers, etc. Sam told Danny about her great job as a game illustrator, originally she wanted to go into business, but she wasn't happy. Then she entered a game art contest, won first prize and got an internship. Sam dropped out of college and has been working for the company ever since. And she loves it. And to further her career she is taking night classes to gain the skills as a generalist animator and/or 3D modeler.

Danny was impressed by Sam, but not as impressed as Sam when she learned Danny is an Aerospace Engineer!!!

Sam: “WOW!!! That is so COOL!!!”

Danny: “it’s nothing.”

Sam: “don’t be so modest, Mr. Aerospace Engineer. I bet you're making Bank. your gf is a lucky lady to have you.“

Danny: “actually…no.”

Sam: “wha?”

Danny: “I-i don't have a gf.”

Sam: “....”

Danny: “....”

Sam: “....im sorry, i have a hard time believing that.”

Danny: “it’s because of the incident with Paulina, i'm having difficulty with trusting women in an intimate/ romantic setting. ”

Sam: “oh..right, yeah i don't blame you.”

Danny: “Sam…i've been wanting to thank you, for saving me from a miserable fate as a factory worker to support that wicked woman and raising someone else's child. It was thanks to you, I was able to pursue my dreams of working in NASA and freedom.”

Sam: “Oh please, anyone in my position would have done the same.”

I was thinking Danny kind of lied but not really, don't get it wrong. Danny was traumatized. He was never serious in a relationship but he has had a lot of one night stands. and Danny has been very careful. He took every precaution. Danny knows he's in a position where women would do anything to lock him down (baby trap him and etc) because he is very successful and financially good, so yeah.

also it will be interesting throughout the years when Danny is sleeping with other women he imagines he's with Sam!!! 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Danny: “What about you? How was your dating life?”

Sam: “It sucks, I've only been with two…well technically one serious relationship.”

The first guy was mostly a “friend with benefits” and the second one was her ex-fiance. (Gregor,) the liar and cheater. Since then Sam has been single since.

I think it would be really sweet if Danny only sees him and Sam having a future together. So Sam and Danny would have a second chance in love/ Friends to lovers type of love story story.

[bitternest]

Recently started doing admin on iseries. Please share any and all Big Blue horror stories 🙇🏻‍♀️

iseries

Oh nice. I took classes on AS/400. So that's where I'll start. Let's see if I can do this without doxing myself or my prof. See, she was one of those highly skilled people with a skillset that is nearly out of date, which is to say AS/400 and COBOL. The thing about having a skillset that is nearly out of date is that you can basically ask whatever the hell money you want in order to work, especially if the technology underpins, um. Most of the world's banking systems. You can also basically do whatever the hell you want if you're a professor. So this... irascible old lady would regularly take 3 month contracts in the middle of term for $50-100k and... no one could stop. Good luck replacing a 60 year old IBM guru. And also, like. That's your bank. The one with your money in it.

So yeah. Iseries ain't the worst place to be. Buff them skills, network with some folks and learn to negotiate.

Second story is. Well. Here's the thing about IBM. From your first internship to when you finally "make it" as an engineer, it's drilled into you that your only viable way to advance is how many patents you can submit. Skilled engineers can take advantage of this and bang out a ton of patents for the company pretty quick. The problem is, not many skilled engineers apply to IBM. And a lot of "lifers" do, because IBM will implode around the time of the US government.

This means that a lot of politically-, bureaucratically-minded engineers are constantly looking for competition internally and are constantly fucking each other over. This is the trauma factory. We hired one guy who managed to get out and he was a nervous fucking wreck, took the most defensive positions on everything and was basically incapable of long-term planning. When he could actually code (he took a management position), he actually cranked out some decent stuff. But his mannerisms and performance was the beginning of a "don't hire from IBM" policy.

The rubber stamp on that policy was an interview I was in where less than halfway through, the engineer basically told me that I didn't know what I was talking about on a piece of third-party software, which obviously cooled the room substantially. I gently informed him that that was possible but unlikely and moved the interview on to other topics, but the man clearly had his blood up and eventually basically got HR involved, who joined the call. At this point I'm dying of second-hand embarrassment for the guy and when the politicking back and forth and trying to squeeze in all sorts of slights on my part in, it finally came back around to said piece of third party software. At which point I asked if he knew how to use github, which let me tell you got a flinch from HR. I asked him to navigate to the code repository and look up the commits for basically the whole-ass docs directory. My name was signed to at least a third of them.

He disconnected. And that was my experience with the knife factory.

Which nicely brings me the final story of the night. From the first dude I heard that the internal Pull Request process for legacy code (so like. 65% of it.) is viewed as "at least we're not at Oracle." Because Oracle's PR times can go as long as 18 months. IBM's were closer to a year for things in, say, AIX. For non-tech folks, an especially busy public repository might take two or three months to review, especially if the subject isn't a priority. The absolute longest I've ever had to wait was six months. A year, for a completely internally managed repository? I cannot IMAGINE the bungling going on there.

So basically what I'm saying is don't work for IBM.

[ricciardonorrisleclercgasly]

Lose the Dress || Sebastian Vettel

Not my gif.

Part 2 to Dont Play Games with Me.

Requested: No

Pairing: Sebastian Vettel x Reader

Warnings: Oral Sex male recieving, Penetrative Sex female receiving.

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER 18S DO NOT INTERACT.

Find my masterlist here.

Find my prompt list here.

Requests are open.

Sebastian takes you on a date and, as promised, this time it's his turn.

You heard the knock at your front door as you were slipping your shoes on. "Who is it? You called out. "It's me" you heard Sebastian shout back.

"Come in, I'm nearly ready"

You heard the door open behind you as you applied your lipstick in the mirror.

"Wow" Sebastian mumbled as he appeared in the mirror behind you, wrapping his arms around you and planting a kiss on your cheek. "You look amazing liebling" he said holding your hand and twirling you around, making you giggle. "You don't look too bad yourself" you smirked at him. Sebastian led you out to his car, opening the passenger door for you before climbing into the drivers seat. "So where are we going?" You asked.

"I know a place" he said nonchalantly, placing his hand on your thigh as he drove. His touch drove you insane, it felt as though his fingertips were burning through your bare skin.

After a short drive you pulled into a quite carpark next to a quaint little restaurant, Sebastian hurried round to your door, opening it for you and giving you his hand whilst you stepped out of the car. You headed inside the restaurant hand in hand.

"Ah Mr Vettel!" The waiter greated him.

"I told you, call me Seb" he grinned shaking the waiters hand.

"Okay Sebastian," the waiter said, "and who is this beautiful lady with you?"

"This is Y/N, she's my date, isn't she gorgeous" Seb said wrapping his arm around you.

"Well you are a very lucky man, right this way." You blushed at the compliments as the waiter led you both into a small private room. There were candles all around and fresh cut flowers in vases. Sebastian pulled out your chair for you and kissed your cheek as you sat down, he really was the perfect gentleman. He sat opposite you and ordered a bottle of wine for the table. The waiter came back and poured you both a glass, handing over the menu's. "What would you recommend?" You asked glancing up from the menu.

"The pasta here is to die for" he smiled at you.

"Okay. I'll have the pasta then"

Sebastian ordered for you both as you sat and talked at the table.

"So I know that this is very early" you said nervously, "but I know Christian doesn't take well to his employees dating" you took a bite of your food.

"Don't worry about Christian. I will deal with him when the time comes." Sebastian said calmly reassuring you.

You ate your meal, chatting away together. Sebastian asked all about your journey to the red bull garage, you told him about your time at university and your internships, you asked about his time karting and growing up in Germany. You shared desert together, finishing off your bottle of wine.

"Shall we head back to mine? For coffee?" Sebastian asked, signalling to the waiter that you were ready for the bill.

"I would love to" you smiled. You reached for your purse to pay your part of the bill.

"Put that away, this is my treat" Sebastian said swatting your hand away from the bill. He tossed some notes on the table and lead you out of the restaurant.

When you arrived at Sebastians you were in awe. His house was beautiful and modern. He opened the door for you again and took your hand, leading you inside. "Please make yourself at home, how do you take your coffee?" Seb said showing you to the living room.

"Just milk, no sugar. I'm already sweet enough" you winked at him sitting down on the sofa. Sebastian shook his head with a smile and went off to make the coffee. You kicked of your heels and settled into the seat, scrolling through your phone as you waited for him to return. Seb came back quickly holding two cups of coffee, he placed them on the table, loosening his tie and taking off his jacket and shoes. You sipped your coffee as your eyes locked his figure, you were always in awe of Sebastian but seeing him in a suit always made you weak at the knees. "You're staring again" Sebastians voice snapped you out of you trance, you looked up at him to see a smirk on his lips. "Sorry. Sometimes I can't help myself" you mumbled looking away sheepishly. Seb now stood close, towering over you, he cupped your chin and tilted your face up towards him, "Don't be sorry Schatz" he said kissing your lips, "I can't take my eyes off you either, especially when you look like this" he sank into the chair next to you, pulling you up onto him.

You straddled his lap, knees at either side of his hips and his hands on your waist. Your forehead resting against his as your lips pressed against his, his fingertips gripping your body and pulling you agaisnt his. You opened your mouth, giving his tongue full access moaning against his lips. You rocked your hips against his, desperate to increase the friction between your thighs, Sebastian bulge growing underneath you pressing against his trousers. You kissed down his neck and jawline nipping and sucking at the skin as you went. Sebastian's moans echoed through the room, spurring you on for more. You climbed off his lap sinking to your knees in front of him and unbuttoning his trousers. He lifted his hips slightly as you wiggled them down his legs, his cock sprung out from his boxers already hard. Holding the base of his cock you slid your lips down his shaft, Seb moaned loudly running his hands through your hair and gripping tightly. You continued to suck on his length, pressing your tongue against the underside driving him crazy. He guided your head back and forth with his hand in your hair, you gave Sebastian full control as you pleasured him, spit and precum running down your chin and he pushed his cock deep down your throat making you choke. Suddenly Seb pulled you back, falling out of your mouth, "Upstairs, now" he demanded, without saying a word you rose to your feet and followed him up to the bedroom. "Lose the dress" he said kicking off his trousers and buttoning his shirt. You did as you were told and slipped out of your dress leaving you stood there in your underwear. "God damn you are so sexy" he moaned kissing your neck and pulling you close to him, you could feel his cock press against you as his hands ran over your ass. He lifted his hand and landed it back on your ass with a stinging impact, you hissed at the sensation but longed for more. Sebastian picked you up and tossed you on the bed, his lips not leaving your neck, you moaned loudly as he positioned himself between your legs pressing his rock hard erection against your core. He broke away from you for just a second to pull your underwear off your body, he took a second to look over your naked body in awe of your beauty. He lined his tip up with your entrance teasing you as he rubbed up and down through your folds, he pushed into you slowly moaning at the feeling of your walls around him. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him in closer, Sebastian started to build up his rhythm thrusting deep inside of you. Both your moans filling the room with the room with sounds of ecstasy. Seb reached his hand down between you, his thumb started circling your clit. You dug your nails into his back as you started to reach your high, the combination of Sebastians thrust and stimulation was hitting you hard. You scratched at his back as you tipped over the edge moaning out loudly for Seb. Feeling you tightening around his cock was driving him insane, attaching his lips to your neck, Sebastian left big blue love bites over your skin. His thrusts becoming more and more erratic as he neared his orgasm, Sebastian was moaning your name loudly. Just before he reached his high he pulled out of you, finishing off with his hand and cumming all over your stomach. He grabbed a towel to clean you both up and tossed you a tshirt out his drawer. You put your panties back on and pulled the tshirt on over your head, sitting on the edge of his bed. Sebastian climbed under the covers pulling you in next to him. You laid cuddled up on his chest whilst he played with your hair. "I don't know why I waited this long" Seb laughed.

"What do you mean?" You questioned propping yourself up to look at him.

"Ever since the first day you stepped foot in that garage I wanted to get my hands on you"

"Then why'd you wait?" You said.

"Because I knew that every single guy in there wanted you and you never seemed interested"

"Yeah because I was interested in you!" You laughed tapping his chest.

"Yeah well I know that now" Sebastian said kissing you and wrapping his arm around you.

@mysticalnightenthusiast

[no1gaytheist]

Don't mind me, I'm just making a list of details about my oc so that I don't forget (and also so I don't accidentally make her a Mary Sue)

Just a heads-up: this universe was created by a large group of friends, and any characters that I mention besides Marcie are not my characters! I'll be happy to answer questions if anyone has any tho.

(Before/during Corruption Arc)

About: Marcie is a 19 year old girl who is perpetually stuck in the limbo between high school and college. She lives at the corrupted office she works at, because as soon as she started her internship there, she lost her memory. She doesn't remember most of her life before the internship, so she doesn't know who her family is, who she is, or where she's from. But she's terrible at communicating when she needs help, and besides that she was just scared. So she started living at the office building. Eventually living such an isolated life (with no close friends because she's just terrible at making friends and had no reason to actually talk to her co-workers) made her emotionally hollow. She stopped caring about anyone and anything, often being mean to the other workers just for kicks. She never sought out to actually hurt anyone, though. She was just impulsive and never once stopped to consider how her actions would affect other people. In her mind she was just playing pranks, and she didn't really care if she was the only one who enjoyed them.

Weaknesses:

Antisocial

Lacks empathy

Brutally honest

Self-centered

Not dependable

Inconsiderate

Mean

Hardly feels any emotions, so she lives solely to entertain herself

Lazy

Could be good or bad?:

Doesn't care about other people's opinions

Impulsive

Strengths:

Independent

Flexible

Not judgemental

Chill as fuck

Meme queen

(AU Games Arc[?])

About: After leaving the corrupted company, Marcie and her co-workers started working at a game development company called AU Games (I came up with the idea, someone else came up with the name). She works as a play tester (mostly for horror games because she is completely and utterly unfazed by them) and lives in a decked out blanket fort in the office building. She's gotten a lot better at dealing with people, and she's slowly regaining her ability to feel. This is in no small part thanks to her best friend, Oz. Oz is an informational automaton who is still learning about humanity, their interactions, and their culture. When Marcie first meets Oz, she does what she's used to doing and tries to play all sorts of pranks on them by taking advantage of the fact that they know so little about human culture. She shows Oz all sorts of memes in order to "teach them about humans," and purposely gives them incorrect information as a joke. At some point, however, her pranks turn into a genuine desire to help them. Soon she starts to spend more and more time with Oz, talking to them about anything and everything. And Oz enjoys listening to her, because it helps them to learn. For the first time in a long time, Marcie starts to care about someone other than herself, as both she and Oz learn how to be more... "human." Oz is the only one Marcie trusts, and the only one she would ever even consider opening up to. Since losing her memory, Marcie has been completely alone, with no one to talk to. And then along comes Oz, who is completely content to just... listen. Because of them, Marcie discovers that she isn't emotionally hollow; she had just gotten really good at hiding her feelings even from herself. Now she's actually able to talk to her co-workers (nicely) and become closer to them. But of course, no one will ever be as close to her as Oz.

Interesting/unique traits:

Marcie is full of surprises. No I will not explain, because then it wouldn't be a surprise

She has a habit of just showing up in random places, like the vents. The vents are her preferred mode of transportation. Also just like... anywhere. Two of her co-workers could be having a private conversation and be completely unaware that she was standing there the whole time. Just... chilling. Havin a snack.

Halloween is her favorite season. Yes, I said season. She celebrates Halloween from mid September to the end of November. The Marcie you see during the Halloween season is completely different from the one you see during the rest of the year. She radiates joy, and sometimes she even opens her eyes all the way! (See ref sheet)

She has regular hangouts with Oz in her blanket fort where they just chat while she paints their nails

One of her greatest accomplishments is having listened to the entire ten hour version of Spooky Scary Skeletons without stopping (and she enjoyed every second of it)

Marcie is very knowledgeable about pop culture (memes), despite the fact that she rarely leaves the office. Why would she? She lives there.

She's very good at vibeo james. Pro gamer right here

She's demisexual, but she never really stopped to think about her romantic orientation. She's probably panromantic

Before she lost her memory, Marcie was an incredibly skilled hacker. During the AU Arc, she rediscovers this ability via muscle memory

Marcie's origin story:

I'll add more details as I come up with them