#the jacket was hot as hell and itchy after a while and i don't wear waterproof anything

[knifefightandchill]

yeah so i don't think i've ever posted my face on here. but i have a couple of con selfies that i liked. so i thought why not be bold for once.

my makeup and contour had mostly come off by the time i took these rip. so they're not good pictures of the cosplay at all but listen i like them in general.

[auliahq]

April 3rd, 2019

"Hey, are your hands cold?"

It was only 3 days after last time we went together to a disastrous date, no thanks to my audit team. But we decided to go out again on public holiday because apparently I was told by my manager that I might be sent to Kalimantan for stock take this weekend (Surprise surprise! It was cancelled D-1, I loathe public accounting). So naturally, when I told you, you asked me out to watch Shazam together.

The night before, I was having terrible headache due to being overworked. By the time I got home at around 1 a.m., I had already developed high-fever. I remember when I got home, I immediately fell asleep on the sofa in my living room for like an hour, then I felt a little better but also felt itchy all over my body. So I prepared myself a hot bath, alone, at 2 a.m., while having nightmarish fever. I took a bath, drank paracetamol, and fell asleep again.

On the next day, the headache had gone, but the fever stayed. I didn't want to cancel because I wanted to see you so badly. So I pushed myself to eat some food and drank another paracetamol I kept in my room. I always keep some generic medicines in my room in case I get sick, because I don't want my parents to know I am sick, they'll just ask me stuff and kind of get mad at me. I don't need that kind of treatment.

While I was panicking because my fever didn't get better, my dumb ass tweeted the whole thing. I thought you never opened your Twitter, but boy I was wrong! But I'll get there in later post. So anyway I kept tweeting how I got so sick and didn't get better just mere HOURS before our date. All I knew was I couldn't meet you that weekend so I had to meet you today. In all panicking that I did, I decided to secretly get stronger paracetamol my mother kept in a medicine box and I took a little higher dose than needed. Then I took a nap for like 2 hours. When I woke up... the fever had gone! Like, truly all gone! Praise the people who create Sanmol!

I took a bath and prepared myself to meet you. I usually hate makeup, but I put a little tint on my cheeks and colored lipbalm on my lips so I didn't look pale. You picked me up in the evening on our usual spot. You greeted me with a big goofy smile. You know, even up until today, every time you give me a big smile, I still can't believe you are my boyfriend. (I just can imagine you say on this part "No, I am your husband!")

We decided to watch the movie at the mall near my house. Not long after we're on our way, you asked me, "you look pale, are you sick?". Did I even put the tint properly?! I guess I put too little. "No, I am totally fine" I answered. "Really? But you don't look fresh" you said. Then you just casually put your hand on my forehead. I was shocked so I didn't move at all! "Hmm you felt a little warmer than usual, are you having fever?" you asked again. "No, I am fine now" i answered. "You fine now? So previously you were sick?" you kept asking me. "No......" I answered hesitantly. "You could have told me if you're sick, you know. Are you really okay to go out?" you asked to make sure of me. "Yes, I am fine, I promise. It's just that I can't meet you this weekend, so I want to meet you today" I blurted my mind out. "Hey, that's fine, Awel. I'll be fine waiting for you" you said, calling me with a nickname you made for me.

We bought tickets and went directly to the studio because we were a little late. We got seats on the fourth line from the front, a little bad, but at least not straining my neck. The movie was funny, and we made little comments here and there. I put my hand on the armrest beside your seat. Intentionally? Perhaps. I felt like the time is right.

At one point in the middle of the movie, you leaned on to me and whispered, "Hey, are your hands cold?". "No, why? Are yours cold?" I whispered back. "Yeah, my hands are cold" you answered, rubbing your hands together. I noticed that you brought your jacket, but you didn't wear it. So I said innocently, "Well, just wear your jacket". Then you wore your jacket and we continued to watch the movie.

A couple seconds later it hit me: "GIRLLL MAYBE HE HINTED THAT HE WANTED TO HOLD YOUR HAND!" DAAAAAMN! I felt like a pure dumb donkey. And you already wore your jacket! You must have been warm by now. Ugh I loathed myself for missing your hint. The movie also went to the serious part so I couldn't make any comment as an excuse to talk to you. You know, I scored 139 points on my IQ test in high school, but why oh WHY WAS I SO DUMB AT CATCHING HINTS?

I continued to watch the movie when waiting for the next funny scene so I could make comment and try to save my dumb bumbo from being single for the rest of my life. When a funny scene finally happened, then it's my time to shine! I leaned over to you and whispered stuff about the funny scene, then you laughed. Happy with my progress, I continued to whisper, "Hey, are your hands still cold?". "Yeah, a little" you responded. "Really? Where?" I foolishly asked. Well of course the cold was in his hands! I reached out for your hands and you put them into my hands. Wow, you were really cold! Turned out that wasn't a hint at all. But I kept holding your hands... in an awkward position. Not long after we started holding hands, another funny scene came, so we laughed and focused on the movie, while we stucked holding hands like we were about to do a handshake. Awkward as hell! But if I pulled my hands back, then I'd lose my progress. Making this move really took all of my courage. So I kept holding your hands awkwardly for a couple minutes.

Then you adjusted your seating position along with the holding/shaking hands position. Then we finally holding hands properly! Yeay! I felt so happy. It's like those paracetamols I took were worth it (?). Our fingers were intertwined. My hands fit perfectly in yours, almost like it was meant to be. Towards the end of the movie, our hands were sweaty but none of us stopped holding hands. Disgusting, I know. But this was a happy disgust, so I allowed it.

The movie ended, but we were still holding hands. We both went to toilet after the movie ended. Then we continued to hold each other's hand. We had dinner, then you drove me home with one hand, because you still used your other hand to hold mine. You gave a big smile again when you were about to drop me off. It looked like it's hard for you to let go of my hand, but you did because I had to go home. I said thank you to you before you went home. I saw you drove away. After I was sure you couldn't see me, I jumped around and clapped my hands. Yeah, the hands you just held for so long. Because I was so happy. Two years later, holding you has always been making me feel at ease, even when I am unstable. I hope it will continue to feel like that forever.