#the impact of that speech to euden is Way lessened bc of him Literally being a 'burden' and unable to fight or be of any use
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i think the timing of chapter 19 is what hurts me the most
#its set up with ranzal trying to decide if he should leave the party (specifically euden)#it moves forward to when they end up in the city with the temple knights attempting to arrest the party (once again specifically euden)#then in the faewood they have to deal with those nasty illusions. the few we see are all about the viewer being left behind#the most vivid one we see is eudens which is abt the ppl realizing euden isnt someone worth following. implied to relate to -#- when they had thought of him to be the other. the illusions end with his friends leaving him without a word. euden just accepts it#luca reassures euden that they stick w him bc they Want to as well as bc they are his friends and think hes worth it#the impact of that speech to euden is Way lessened bc of him Literally being a 'burden' and unable to fight or be of any use#then that happens once again when they try to find finlorda and the fiends are specifically trying to kill euden#he's being protected by his friends again i.e being a 'burden'#and any reassurance hes gotten that they want to stick w him because they want to and NOT bc they feel an obligation to is -#- essentially lost. this ESPECIALLY becomes true when they find out that notte's life was entirely planned out#(once again eudens fault)#and that he was created from the other#now. the Only person whos actually said they dont care who/what euden turns out to be was luca iirc and i think zena.#and while at this point that reassurance probably means absolutely nothing to him. its still important to hear#the TIMING of this all fucking HURTS#its literally. this is literally the process of my depressive episodes AKSBKDNDK thats not related but its fun to note#theyre really setting up for him to BREAK and im looking forward to it but also im not. im not prepared.#.text#dl
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