#the idea of its innateness that dean applied should he decide to do so. i feel like that's where this is working from
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for the life of me i cannot figure out why people are so desperate to apply a version of dean's facade to sam
#like... as someone with autism‚ wrt autism masks‚ they aren't black and white between what's presented vs what we feel...#not even dean's facade works like that. where is idea that what sam expressed isn't what he feels coming from?#like we get canonical evidence or exploration for what he feels in his actions very often in canon so??#and his emotional compartmentalising is very often presented in situations that are different from‚ say‚ his code switching#why are you so desperate to erase his canonical character exploration? like having headcanons in which what he feels and expresses#or what his actions are aren't what he feels at all kind of renders everything about him useless?#do you just have this hc to have the room to make stuff up about him? or what#the 'when the “loveable rogue” act Dean played didn't work out' line is crazy#because it's made me realise that this headcanon isn't about sam at all in a way that i cannot quite put my finger on#anyway the ways in which sam goes about attempting to be normal are explored in canon...#it isn't in terms of 'trying to mimic human behaviour' (please dissect why you think about him like this I BEGGGG)#it's canonically in terms of the hunting vs nuclear dichotomy. he doesn't want to to beat uo his bullies because kids his age#shouldn't have the skills he does !!!! he doesn't want to kill his first kiss because kids his age GET to have their first kiss#and not kill them. and this is interesting to me actually#his monstrosity hinders his idea of his normalcy and the hunting dichotomy of innocent vs monstrous is the structure#within which he both crosses that boundary to achieve normalcy but it's also why he cannot achieve it#the idea of its innateness that dean applied should he decide to do so. i feel like that's where this is working from#because it is just so strange that you attribute a facade with no canonical standing within a hc#to the monstrous boy as 'pretending to be normal' rather than trying and failing#while also stripping dean of his facade entirety to get to what you perceive as his entirely gooey insides within the same post#ludere
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