#the hairest hair to ever hair

[comiiical]

Regardless of the universe, Stephen has the exact same measures, however, the body varies a little bit as well as some aspects of it, such as Casey!Stephen being the hairest of them all, Second chance (Casey, Chris, Rudy) having beard, Tempus Fugit having beard as well in both its verses but a lesser thick body in the future,... For instance, Oliver Stephen shaves and trims ocassionally, Evans one never will he ever take his ass hair off, but trim his cock for sure, etc.

[the-quiet-fire-of-defiance]

I never understand why everyone thinks elves lack body hair??? Is there an obscure piece of canon I'm missing? Elves LOVE hair. Hair is their JAM. The high king of all the Noldor is named after his super cool hair. All the prettiest elves (Galadriel, Luthien, Maedhros) get poetical descriptions of their ultra special locks that set them apart from the other elves. Elves name their kids shit like "Hair Commander" and "Skilled Hair the Second" to show how much obviously cooler their kids are than their half brother's. Hair colour is a big deal in Arda, and we all know that elves spend way too much time prettying up and braiding their hair because every single elf has a hair kink and that's a fact.

So I strongly believe that elves have an almost excessive amount of body hair. It's a sign of virility and beauty. Elven body hair is THICK and covers every part of their body. Finwë was the hairest elf to ever live.

If you think about it this way, it also explains some deep mysteries of our earth.

Think of elves, graceful and 8 foot tall, covered in body hair, skulking through the woods. Imagine them living in our world, even now, but shying away from human company.

So if you believe that elves are covered in hair it automatically leads to the conclusion that elves are Bigfoot, and I don't know why anyone would reject this clearly factual canon.

[heelmaryse]

I read that person fic you reblogged as "ajs chest hairs flew in his face" instead of "ajs chestnut hair flew in his face" i just imagined him with the hairest chest.

AHAHAHAHAH he does have really fuckin attractive chest hair tho like??? U have to admit that the hair on his chest and abs is like the sexiest thing EVER