#the guy who said you shouldn't do coke on fear hahaha

[sehodreamsthoughts]

VINA PLS😭😭 no cuz that was soo good like i never want to pressure u or demand anything but i definitely want ur input!! i love that u add context to it and i love to read what u write about it<33 and omg that was really good i really loved it🤭🤭 i can totally see everything u wrote .. jungwon seems like.. kinda sneaky loser.. but also he’s just figuring things out, and he wants to break out of the archetype he’s been put into🤭

it’s okay it didn’t have to be dark at all like i said, i was just thinking mean!dom and i’ve been having a lot of noncon thoughts but i love ur descriptions of his view of reader like omggg pls🤭🤭 so hot im dying immd😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😫

i’m about to go into work but with dealer!sunghoon.. i see him as like dealers i knew in college because he’s more reserved, not necessarily quiet but he’s just.. calmer than some of the other boys.. could see him doing it just for the money and not even actually using.

i rmbr i was hanging out one time and one of the guys i was there with said like.. i don’t rmbr exactly but he basically said we shouldn’t have to do c0ke in fear, like this sucks, it’s his space and he shouldn’t be afraid of the residence advisors catching him😭😭😭 like BRO it’s illegal!!! ur dumb (and that just feels like smth jake would say lmfaoooo🤭🤭🤭)

- 🥟 anon

I don't know what's been going on with me and Jungwon, I've been seeing him way too fine lately 😭 (Jake's still my number 1 tho).

I SAW DEALER! SUNGHOON LIKE THAT TOO 😭. SO, i wanted to write something short and I got lost, and I don't think this is even half of it but I don't want you to think I'm ignoring this convo like our jake/heesung working at a store (I still have the draft that's not finished hahaha) so I leave this part here to hear your opinion. I honestly think that one of my biggest problems with writing is that the theme keeps getting twisted. I can't do just dark or non-dark content, it's as if it was all mixed into some weird stuff, I thought first of Sunghoon using his client, but then I kept writing and it became this thing that I think is romantic but at the same time it's kind of sick if you analyse it 😭

Well, it's only 1.5k, what do you think?

He goes to parties just to stand in a corner with flat lips and a half-full drink in his hand, just waiting for people to approach him for the stuff he's selling, he's not even into the excitement everyone shows when he brings better stuff, and he knows about it, he knows about what the things he sells do, but he simply does not give a fuck about trying it because he's there for his cash and nothing else.

He's a big follower of you don't do what you sell, and he's not publicly proud of living by that motto, but again, he doesn't really care about other's opinions. If they say he's boring, if they say he's a prune, he doesn't mind because, at the end of the day, he's the one going home with their money in his pocket.

Still, the minute you get into it, he starts to get nervous. Sunghoon doesn't have a problem with drugs, but he has a problem with beautiful things.

As he calls you every time you meet him in disgusting party bathrooms, "Hey, gorgeous'', he hasn't been able to stop taking in your image whenever you appear in front of him, and for him is frightening how he's been so into you since you appeared in front of him with that pretty smile and your voice whispering almost scared "hi… I'm here to buy some candies?".

Sunghoon still laughs at the innocent image of you starting some shit you hadn't been introduced to by anyone. You did it on your own, which was unusual. You walked to him, no old client beside you saying with an overexcited voice "This is Sunghoon", believing they could get some freebies for giving him new clients. You had heard about him around and you went to his corner by yourself with shaky eyes and too much cash inside your phone case.

It started soft, a few gummies since you had said candies and he thought you honestly just wanted candies. He carried a few bags for the dumb boys who wanted to relax their girlfriends without them noticing it (Sunghoon didn't care what they did with the stuff people paid him for. In his head, no one should trust people too much, and if they did it, it was their own mistake), and for the hello kitty girls that enjoyed them a bit too much, but even if in that case they consumed them on their own will, he equally disliked them because they always asked for discounts. You, to his luck, hadn't even asked for your change.

You looked frightened, as if the money he tried to put in your hand burned you with its graze, and you pulled your hand away the second he tried to give you the bills, brushing him away with an almost mute "It's okay."

It was hilarious to him how you would excitedly look for him in every party he attended, asking again and again for candies, and how you would run away the second the interaction was over. You’d take the gummies like a kid, and you wouldn’t accept his money (which was technically yours since it was just your change) as if he was a creep offering you sweets in a park.

He realized, after some time, he kind of was.

At first, you searched for him between the bunch of bodies drinking under the limp lights. You’d scan every face around until you found him, and he would wait for you to do it. He didn’t need much to feel you had arrived, it was as if his body had a sixth sense telling him she’s here, and he would only need a second to spot you moving your eyes through every person as if he wasn’t always in his corner.

He never moved to let people easily find him, but you needed more than a few weeks to realize that (oh, and that if it wasn’t you asking, he’d never leave his sacred spot). Everything felt like an innocent game with a not-so-innocent prize. You wouldn’t stop looking for him until you found him, and once you did it, you’d walk to him and ask him for your usual stuff, and then, when you got tired of it, for more adult stuff (your words, not his).

He never cared about other people. To him, they could all go and fuck off their lives with opioids, and he would gladly sell them if that little conscience left in his body wasn’t still there after all the shit he had done. Sadly, that tiny part of him stopped him from teaching you about the heavy stuff.

He needed a month to introduce you to real weed, and closing the door of an unknown room in the house of a guy he knew even less, he sat beside you and taught you how to smoke it (he really didn’t want you to learn from anyone else. Yeah, it was wrong that you trusted him, but he knew it would be worse that you trusted someone there that wasn’t him).

Inhaling a few times, he kept a straight face to calm you with his mostly theoretical knowledge, proudly looking at you doing it on your own like a champion after a quick three-minute class on how to roll a cigarette and light it.

You laughed when you finally did it on your own, presenting it to him like a work of art and your wide smile. ‘’You’re a fast learner’’ he said.

‘’Yeah, always top of the class’’ you answered, licking your lips and then moving the slightly too thick roll to your lips (he never told you that you kind of overfilled that one. You looked too pretty to push you out of your cloud).

He stayed there beside you, perfectly knowing that he was probably losing customers downstairs with his sudden absence and that he, indeed, was going against his life motto. He was, indirectly, doing what he sold.

The laughs you shared, what went through your mind when you approached him, all of it is there in his mind. You mentioned something about being stressed, then that you were tired of smoking normal cigarettes, and that vapes felt like a game you didn’t feel like playing.

‘’It’s too sweet, the aftertaste’’ you said.

‘’The gummies are sweet too’’ he laughed. He wasn’t smoking after those few first hits to teach you (although you had some real experience smoking already, which explained a lot why you didn’t even cough when you took the first drag).

‘’It’s different’’ you smiled and turned to see him more comfortably. You looked at his face, and he let you, doing the same, until you talked again. ‘’I need more than just a sweet treat.’’

You two were sitting on the floor after needing a firm surface to roll the leaves easier, and after almost 30 minutes of you smoking your own made cigarette, you followed him into leaning against the foot of the only bed in the room, looking at him with the soft light of the study lamp the boy had there, stopping you from being in complete darkness (Sunghoon deduced it was a boy’s room, otherwise, it would be difficult to explain why there was a big soccer t-shirt with the name Jake framed and hanging on the wall, or the box of tissues over the nightstand, because it was either a room owned by a boy, or by a girl that cried too much over a boy named Jake, which was more concerning than a boy that jerked off probably every day— He also deduced that when the box got empty after he pulled the last tissues to make you more at ease at doing your first try).

Sunghoon nodded, and both of you observed each other with relaxed eyes, comfortable with the atmosphere you had unintentionally created. After slowly blinking a few times, he exhaled through his nose, feeling more liberated than never, and he moved his eyes down to your lips, thinking that they would probably be way sweeter than all the things you had talked about that night.

At the next party, he realized he had a problem when he stared at the entrance door since he arrived, quickly brushing off his clients without much small talk, and accepting to give the hello kitty girls their discounts so they left him alone.

He even got angry when the same guys tried to buy some gummies for their innocent girlfriends, sputtering without hesitation a ‘’Sorry, just sold the last one’’, which was a complete lie since he always carried an extra bag in case you also wanted them. You had stopped having them since you learned how to roll your own cigarettes, but Sunghoon still liked to have them in hand, as if it was his strawberry lucky charm.

Well into the night, almost at 2am, he realized you wouldn’t arrive, so he sold the last stuff he was holding on for you. In the end, he left with a successful night in his pocket, but feeling worse than ever, even more than when in his first night selling almost no one dared to approach him because he was (and continues to be, by their words) too pretty to be a dealer.