#the gunk. it's like. venom. but not even gay. it's juust a toxic slutch that wants me dead.
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Homesick for arms that DID hold me but. At what cost.
#i'll be normal again soon i promise. right now i just got that viscous vile ooze in me.#the gunk. it's like. venom. but not even gay. it's juust a toxic slutch that wants me dead.#also if it wasn't fucking clear. homesick for someone who might have loved me sure i mean we were family#but like. well fast forward several years now i just have all these really intense completely one sided feelings#that like. i just have nothing to actually Do with them. you're not a bad person i just think you suck ass.#we live in completely different worlds and lead completely different lives. also.#not a single thing in common. beyond blood.#but like Man. why do i have one million complexes about it. esp when like. there's no hope here.#like why do i even care this much about someone who really. does not give like a tenth of that energy.#why did i just. internalize everything forever. why did i make it my burdern to bear.#why am i still bearing it.
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