#the fish flop works for me. unfortunately. it's absolute madness and it takes me like five minutes to get upright but it works. kind of.

[magically-maddie]

I was writing for kicks and giggles and ended up rambling in my notes, so I'm throwing it (the very edited version) into the void. Bone app the teeth.

Today's subject: my hatred of hotel rooms. Even "accessible" hotel rooms. ESPECIALLY "accessible" hotel rooms. Bitch what do you mean the bed is a foot above my seat cushion and it's fixed to the wall? What the fuck do you expect me to do??? A fish flop face first?? It's absolute madness to travel as a wheelchair user with paralysis and encounter the complete worst accessibility. What do you mean, you only have hearing accessible rooms? What do you mean, only your hearing accessible rooms have two separate beds? What do you mean, your accessible bathroom stall has grab bars but can't fit a wheelchair inside? What do you MEAN???

I'll break it down under the cut for the curious and/or nondisabled people.

Hearing accessible: A hotel room set up for deaf and hard of hearing people. Usually has a combination audio/light doorbell and flashers on the emergency alarms.

Hearing accessible rooms and beds: For some odd reason, throughout ALL of the hotel chains I've stayed with, the only two bed "accessible" rooms they have are hearing accessible. It's like they never considered that disabled people are more likely to travel with a companion or caregiver and may not want to sleep in the same bed as that person. Or may not want to relegate that person to the pull-out couch.

"Accessible" bathroom stall: Don't ask me why, but I've encountered so many bathroom stalls that have grab bars and are slightly larger than average but can't fit even a very compact wheelchair. (More often in sports venues, schools, and airports, for some reason.) Grab bars do not constitute accessibility. Basic accessibility is a stall sizeable enough to fit a large wheelchair and an additional person. Great accessibility includes hoists/lifts and much, much more space. Grab bars do not equal accessible stall.

Disclaimer, I'm a person with a high lumbar incomplete SCI. I am fairly independent in activities of daily living and these are only my experiences. But damn if these don't make me think about how someone with higher support needs, a carer, a power wheelchair, or anything but a manual wheelchair and some ability to transfer would have to do. The world is so fucking insane when it comes to accessibility.

[mandysimo13]

Skinny Dipping

This prompt came from @weneedtotalkaboutsherlock

I'm just writing down some ideas, you take what you want: Maybe they're on a  case during the summer and there's a piece of evidence at the bottom of a pond, so naturally Sherlock starts stripping to his pants and dives in the water to search for said thing, while John watches, flabbergasted, until Sherlock asks him join him in his search. Once they're both in the water... things happens. (Whatever you choose, first kiss? More? ;) )

John came jogging up to the pond -rather, small lake- of the small, no-name town they were investigating a murder in, panting as he reached Sherlock’s surly form.

Two minutes. He had been in the loo two minutes to empty his screaming bladder and exited only to find their stakeout position missing Sherlock and a message on his phone saying that Sherlock was charging on the chase without him. Not long after that a second message came in with Sherlock’s location. Then the infuriating man hit him with the news.

“What do you mean he’s chucked it in,” John asked in disbelief.

“I mean,” Sherlock growled out between ground teeth, “that he knew someone was onto him and he tossed the murder weapon in the sodding pond!” Sherlock waved his arms above his head in frustration. “What else could I possibly mean by that?”

John rolled his eyes and replied, “what I mean to say is, what do you mean he managed to slip by you long enough to ditch the evidence while I was in the loo? You said you had it under control!”

Sherlock strode angrily away “I did!”

“Clearly not! Now we have to call the police and tell them we’ve lost the evidence.”

Sherlock spun on his heel. “Absolutely not. We will not have the police bungling this investigation.”

“What? More than it already is?”

Sherlock narrowed his eyes at John and shrugged off his Jacket. Even in the heat of summer Sherlock had insisted on wearing his usual attire of black suit, though he had conceded that the Belstaff would have been overkill.

“What are you doing,” John asked.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” He tossed his jacket aside and tugged his shirttails out of his trousers. “I’m going in. And I am certainly not going in wearing this suit.”

John reached out to grasp Sherlock’s arm, momentarily stilling him. “What do you mean going in? Are you mad?”

Sherlock scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s just a pond, John.”

“Yeah, in rural England. You know, snapping turtles are cropping up in ponds all over the countryside, right? Fancy getting your knob bit off by one of them?”

Sherlock raised an amused eyebrow. “What do you care about my knob?” John swallowed thickly, trying to come up with a witty reply. Sherlock shrugged him off and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Besides, if you’re so worried, you can come in with me. Splash about a bit on the surface. Scare off any turtles or otherwise.”

John shook his head. “No, absolutely not. You don’t have any goggles, we don’t have a first aid kit if you do get hurt. And, most importantly, they have people at The Yard whose job it is to fish things out of the bloody pond!”

“So we’re saving the Queen a bit of money by doing it ourselves.” He tossed his shirt aside and unbuckled his belt. “Besides, it’s like 30 degrees out. I’m hot! A bit of a swim will remedy that.”

John threw up his hands in frustration. “You’re doing this with or without me aren’t you?”

“Yup,” Sherlock replied, popping the “p” at the end.

“Fine! Fine. Don’t come crying to me if a turtle bites you. See if I care.” He crossed his arms as petulantly as possible to get his displeasure across. He turned his back, not indulging in Sherlock’s whims one bit.

Sherlock snorted. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You could use a dip, too. Might make you less dramatic.”

“I’m being the dramatic one?!” John spun back around to deliver a speech about Sherlock’s own theatrics but was stopped by the sudden swallowing of his own tongue. “Nnngh-Sherlock! What are you doing?!”

Sherlock’s pasty bum was staring right at him while Sherlock chucked his pants to lay on the already discarded pile of his clothes. He looked over his shoulder at John and said, “what? I’m going swimming without a suit. Did you think I’d be putting my clothes on over wet pants? That’s just begging for chafing!”

Then, without another word, Sherlock Holmes took a step into the pond. He hissed a bit at the cold but didn’t let it deter him. He carefully stepped further in, using the feet attached to his long legs to scope out where the muddy bottom lay. When he was in up to his hips, Sherlock flopped onto his back to float along the surface. He sighed and called for John to join him.

“Come on, John! The water’s fine!”

It was hot. And he knew the water would feel great.

So, with a long suffering sigh, he began unbuttoning the light shirt he had worn that day. He was very aware of Sherlock watching him, his stormy eyes tracking his movements. John shivered and it had nothing to do with the weather. When he got down to his pants, John stopped, his thumbs hooked into the hem as he noticed Sherlock’s gaze still on him. Now, John Watson -army captain, doctor, former school rugby player- was not a shy man. But he couldn’t help feeling just a touch shy, knowing that Sherlock could see anything and everything in him. He had come to terms ages ago that he had a crush on -was in love with- his flatmate and best friend. He had managed to keep himself under control; fond gazes but no lingering touches, no creepy advances (married to the work), and he tried to keep his Sherlock related wank fantasies to a minimum. But getting into the water naked as the day he was born with Sherlock would be his strongest test yet.

It’s necessary, it’s necessary, it’s necessary, he chanted to himself internally.

“Excuse you,” John said, trying to sound affronted by Sherlock’s ogling.

“Problem?”

“Turn your back,” John insisted.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll start looking while you get your bits in here.” With that, Sherlock disappeared beneath the water and John was about ready to put his clothes back on and stomp back to the car.

“Infuriating git,” John whispered to himself. He took his first few steps into the water, biting back a gasp at the cold. Sherlock’s head popped up once, long enough to take a breath, and then he was back under the water to continue his search. In no time, he had acclimated and he had gotten the lower half his body into the water.

Sherlock’s head burst through the water a couple feet away and he sucked in a lungful of air. “John! I think I found it!”

“What, exactly, are you looking for? You never did say.”

“A candlestick with the family crest on it.”

John blinked. “That’s rather damning evidence. Are you sure we’re not in a game of Cluedo right now?”

Sherlock giggled as he tread water and said, “honestly. How silly.” Then he sunk back beneath the water, leaving John alone again. He felt silly, standing there alone, looking out for any suspicious snapping turtles or rogue catfish or consulting detectives looking to take the piss out of him. But then Sherlock surfaced once more, triumphantly holding the candlestick above his head.

“Aha! I’ve got it!” He proudly swam then strode out of the water to drop the candlestick by his clothes.

“That it, then?” John started to make his way out but stopped as he saw Sherlock reenter the water. “What are you doing?”

“Why do you always ask the obvious? What’s it look like I’m doing?” His long legs propelled him through the water, his flaccid cock swaying with his movements, water dripping down his torso. John licked his lips at the sight. Never before had he ever wanted to lap up gross pond water but Sherlock Holmes had a way of making him want to do all sorts of absurd things.

“How long are we going to be here?”

“Do you not enjoy swimming? It’s great exercise. Good for your shoulder, too,” Sherlock told him as he began an effortless backstroke.

John did enjoy swimming. He just wished he’d had a suit. Or Sherlock had a suit. Preferably both. He just wanted an extra barrier between him and certain embarrassment because he wasn’t sure how long he could be in the presence of a wet, naked Sherlock without reacting.

At first, he just stood there in the cool, hip-deep water watching Sherlock swim. But then Sherlock swam up close and splashed him right in the face. John spluttered in surprise as Sherlock laughed, kicking away and out of reach.

“Come on, John! Swim with me!”

“I’m good here, thanks,” John said, wiping the rivers of water off his face.

Sherlock disappeared under the water and then John’s adrenaline kicked in. He widened his stance, making it harder for him to get knocked off-balance should Sherlock try to pull him under. His hands went up in the classic self-defense position and he scanned the area for any sign of Sherlock. But all his precautions were for naught. Sherlock managed to slip up behind him and push him from behind into the deeper water.

John recovered himself quickly, bouncing back up to the surface as Sherlock swam closer.

“Doesn’t the water feel better over your shoulders and back? You were starting to burn, I saved you from some unfortunate pain later,” Sherlock said, grinning at him as they tread water.

“Oh you cock,” John said, reaching out to grab Sherlock’s arm and tug him close. Sherlock’s body flew to him in the water and he managed to dunk Sherlock under before splashing away to avoid repercussions.

They went on like that for who knows how long, splashing and laughing and chasing each other around until, somehow, Sherlock grappled onto him. His legs came to wrap around John’s hips as his arms hugged him close to avoid getting splashed in the face again and John froze, his arms floating limply at his sides. They bobbed in silence for a few seconds, the water lapping around them as they realized the delicate position they’d found themselves in.

The space around them became charged. Electrified.

John chanced a look at Sherlock and found him similarly lost. “Sherlock,” John whispered, licking his lips.

“John,” Sherlock whispered back. His arms loosened slightly but didn’t go away.

John responded by slowly, gingerly, wrapping his arms around Sherlock’s back to hold him close. He took a deep breath, licking his lips nervously. From this close, he could see the sun shining off Sherlock’s wet, inky curls. He could see the droplets of water clinging to Sherlock’s eyelashes. He could watch his pulse pump in Sherlock’s neck. He could feel Sherlock’s hardened nipples press into his chest. Under the water he could feel the stiff clutching of his thighs as John tread to keep them both afloat.

He could feel his own cheeks grow warm, his mouth dry out. He could hear their mingled, strained breathing in his ears. He felt his hands flex, trying not to grab hold too hard to Sherlock in case he wanted to flee. He felt his own heart thump in his chest. A shudder passed through him, down his spine, and he realized that he was becoming aroused.

Without his permission, his cock twitched beneath the water, bobbing up hopefully. His hands tightened and he was horrified at himself to find that his hands had slipped lower to grasp Sherlock’s arse. Sherlock gasped, legs tightening and bringing their lower halves closer together. Then it was John’s turn to gasp as his suddenly raging erection became trapped between them.

Right next to Sherlock’s.

His eyes snapped open, not realizing he had closed them, and his mouth hung open as he tried to find the right words to say. He wanted to say something succinct, eloquent, thoughtful. Instead what came out was-

“You...you’re hard.”

“Yes,” Sherlock said huskily.

“Because-”

“Because you’re touching me,” Sherlock confirmed.

John nodded, averting his eyes and trying to collect his thoughts. Which was an immense feat considering his heartbeat that throbbing in his penis. Sherlock shifted slightly, hips thrusting into John’s abdomen and it caused them both to whimper slightly.

“John,” Sherlock keened, undulating his hips into him needily. John’s hands gripped him tighter and he buried his face into Sherlock’s neck. His mouth dropped open, panting hotly into Sherlock’s damp skin which caused him to shiver.

“Christ, Sherlock,” John huffed out against his neck. His lips pressed themselves in a slack kiss. “We...we can’t...this isn’t-”

“Stop thinking so much,” Sherlock said, a layer of anger in his voice. “Why must you over analyze what is so plainly obvious,” he barked out impatiently.

John pulled his head up. He looked wide-eyed at Sherlock, suddenly irritated. “All that’s obvious to me is that we’re both hard and desperate for a good shag. But I am not someone for you to just use when it’s convenient for you to do so, Sherlock!”

John let go and took a step back, trying to separate the two of them but Sherlock was having none of it. “What’s obvious is that you’re oblivious to the fact that I like you!” John stopped his retreat, nearly falling back into the water. He gripped Sherlock again, steadying himself and Sherlock kept going. “I’ve liked you since the very beginning, loved you nearly as long, and I know you’ve been arse over teakettle for me and we’ve both been royal idiots who’ve been dancing around each other for years and finally, finally, we get an excuse to stop hiding and you’re still-mmph!”

John couldn’t listen to Sherlock ranting for one more second. The confession he’d longed to hear was out of the man’s mouth and John needed to kiss it into his own. Sherlock quickly spurred into action, kissing him back and clutching John’s head as if his life depended on it. But eventually they both had to come up for air and when they did they were gasping.

After catching his breath, Sherlock said, “now, will you please, for the love of god, just touch me?!”

John laughed and shook his head. “No.”

Sherlock groaned petulantly. “And why not? Are you having some kind of sexual crisis or something?”

John laughed and began moving backwards towards the shore. “I’m not having a sexual crisis you berk.” When he’d reached shallower water, he set Sherlock down and kept moving. “But I refuse to have our first time be in the middle of a bloody pond where anyone with half a mind to go sightseeing will really get an eyeful.” He reached out and took Sherlock’s hand to lead him out of the water. “I want to take you back to our hotel room, wash this pond scum off you, then lay you out on our bed where I can enjoy you in private.”

Sherlock’s eyes dilated, obviously onboard with that plan. He licked his lips, “I suppose I can agree to suspending activities until after a shower.”

“Good,” John said before reaching up on his tiptoes to give Sherlock a soft, lingering kiss. “Now, put your pants on so we can go.”

[mrneighbourlove]

Snake who Smiles: Ch 5. Small Seeds

Malik held his new baby born closely. Revan was a handsome baby, black hair like his mother. It took a while but he had finally fallen asleep. Moments with just being with his family he cherished dearly.

"I thought for sure the little one would have your red hair since all of Zarazu's do so far." Asakonigei laughed softly as Malik placed Revan into his basinet. She was resting in the bed while Malik attended to their boy. Her husband was absolutely smitten with his son, counting his fingers and toes. The Kovina thought it was adorable. "Well, Zahirog has the closest to her locks of dark brown, like a burnt amber sort of color. Though I'm delighted to see he's strong, healthy, and most importantly, safe."

"Yes. Safe. Even more when I find Zahirog's attacker." Malik gave a mighty sigh. "I worry too much for the two of you, and the rest of this family on my back. Every corner, every drink. Just....dangers."

Love, you're not alone here. We protect our own, yes?" Asakonigei tried to soothe his news as she patted the spot on the bed beside of her. "Whoever did this will be found soon enough. We have more security now, people testing the food, and besides... have you ever seen my uncles and cousins when they're stark raving mad when it concerns me? Make you look like a mouse." She kissed his cheek as he sat. "You may be Gerudo, but Lorleidians take family of every tribe."

"Yes, yes. Your the fine pussy who caught me." He kisses her back. "Won't stop me from worrying."

"Excuse me? I'm a freaking goddess, thank you very much. Without my divine strength, I doubt I could have pushed that one out of me." Asakonigei motioned to Revan. "Big, like his father you know... and will probably worry and fret just like him too." As she settled underneath the warm covers, the Kovina sighed as she held Malik's cheek. "I understand why you worry, love. Just remember, we're here to help you if you need us."

Malik carefully positioned Revan between them. "I know, I know. Now that I'm a father, I worry even more. If not now for his present, then Revan's future. I had a disturbing conversation with Zizi not to long ago, after she had a man devoured, how everyone in our world has to kill at some point. To take a life. And to think our children will do that....I've lived death. I don't want them to experience it if I can't."

"Unfortunately, that is the world everyone lives in nowadays." Asakonigei had her fair share of bloodlust on the battlefield. She only killed to keep from being killed herself. "Even when I lived on Lorleidi, I had to fight. There were pirates, harpies, serpents and we faced Vul'kar too, Malik. Perhaps one day, our children will be able to rest and not fight."

"This isn't the world I want to bring them in. I don't want them to worry about their people suffering a genocide, or have demons rise from the ocean to take them. I just...I disagree with you and Zizi. It can be different." Malik took what he said in. Never in his wildest imagination would he denounce the belief of kill or be killed. He was stuck living by it, but he'd do his damnedest to make sure Reven didn't have to.

"I'm glad you disagree, I want to be wrong." Asakonigei sincerely hoped there would be a day in Hyrule's future where there was no violence. "Wouldn't it be nice if Revan could simply just work in the castle one day? Perhaps be an advisor or maybe run the forge if he liked?" She thought about her boy one day warping metals like she did. It would be a treat if he turned out to be a Kovina or perhaps a Vatra like her mother. "He could make horseshoes, carts, saddles... maybe one day there will be no need for weapons."

"That'll be the day." Malik leaned closer to his wife rubbed his nose with hers. She really was a goddess.

"I wish you could have seen Lorleidi when we were there and barely scraping by." Asakonigei told Malik as he snuggled closer, keeping Revan in-between the two of them. "We had very little, but we had each other. You know there were no thieves in Lorleidi because we shared what we had?" She held his huge hand, looking at the callouses there. "No need for locks, for money, for poverty, anything. I miss it sometimes... but now, I'm so utterly grateful to have you and to have our little Revan."

Malik gives a chuckle. "That sounds so much like my desert home. For a race of 'desert rats and thieves' we always looked out for each other. We made sure no Gerudo would go hungry or without care. I hope I can take you and Revan out there one day."

"I want to see where you used to live one day. I've never seen a desert." Asakonigei kissed Revan's forehead as he yawned. "Maybe one day, Lorleidi will have healed and you can see how beautiful it was. For now though... I think our first big step will be getting a place of our own one day, don't you?"

"Agreed. The noise complaints we get from your screams alone is enough of an excuse."

Blushing dark red in the cheeks, Asakonigei swatted his shoulder. "And just who is responsible for those screams?"

"I believe your ragged words were, 'big monster Gerudo cock'." He smiles like the devil back to her.

Oh!" Asakonigei blushed even darker and scoffed at her husband. "You! I swear, we're going to have a barn full of your younglings if you have any say."

"That'd be nice." He leans over and gives her deep kiss. "I'll be sure to look into it."

"... how many children do you want, Malik?" Asakonigei asked him as Revan dozed lightly. "I know Gerudos like big families. I don't think I'd object to many daughters or sons. I just hope one of them gets your red hair."

"Until we're satisfied. Night my dear."

~

Zahirog's health improved within time. He still had trouble breathing every now and then, so he had to be closely supervised. Zarazu refused to be parted with her little son for too long. Covarog tried to talk to her about it, saying she needed to rest as well, yet the queen acted as if anyone else caring for her newborn was the plague. The king attributed it to the fear and paranoia of almost losing him. The queen was having a hard time with the separation right now thanks to assassins.

"Luimaya, Turagor, do be careful playing around the fountain." Zarazu told her twins as the pair fed the koi fish. "And don't feed the fishes too much, they'll get fat."

Alexander Zemalocke peered around the corner to the garden. He was given lecture after lecture to spy on the Dragmire family. His father had been very persistent on it. He raved on and on how Zarazu really was death to have survived it for so long. He had to know if she had a special magic protecting her or medicine, and to take it away if Alex could. In fact his father had only grown far angrier and angrier as time passed. Sometimes it scared Alex more then usual. Right now it looked as though they were just having fun, nothing more.

"But Mama, this one is really fat!" Turagor pointed to the biggest female fish in the water.

"She's probably peg... no, pignit... what's the word, Mama?" Luimaya asked her mother.

"Pregnant, Luimaya. She might be pregnant." Zarazu told her daughter as she kept Zahirog in a sling around her body. The boy was watching everything around him with wide eyes and had a smile on his face. As long as her children were safe, the queen felt at peace. Noticing a figure out of the corner of her eye, the Zarazu spotted Zemalocke's son at the archway to the garden. The boy was painfully shy still it seemed and still had not realized how keen her senses were. "Young Alexander, if you think you can hide from a queen, even though she might be sickly, you're dreadfully wrong, dear."

Alexander had shock on his face before hiding away behind the pillar. How did she see him?! Maybe she'd think she was seeing things if he kept really quiet, closed his eyes, and thought really hard he was invisible.

"Alex?" Luimaya, curious as ever, was the first to investigate. Covarog swore up and down she received that touch of nature from Ralnor, always wanting to know more. She waved her hand at him, urging him to come over to the fountain. "Come on over here! You can feed the fishes!"

"We got sandwiches, scones and tea too!" Turagor hopped off the side of the fountain ledge to get a bite of lunch. "Mama wanted us to have some fresh air."

Alexander peered around, still unsure. His father might discipline him again if he even talked to them. "N-no thank you..."

"Mister Alexander, are you refusing an invitation from your future queen?" Zarazu jested lightly. "Come now, we don't bite. There's an extra sandwich in the picnic basket if you haven't had lunch."

Alexander slowly inched his way forward, taking the sandwich, but not biting into it. What was he doing? He could get into so much trouble for this.

"Sit, Alex!" Turagor flopped down onto the picnic blanket alongside his sister. "Whacha doing around here? Another lesson?"

"Lessons are boring, I like sparing best!" Luimaya said as she nibbled on her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Though, fairy tales aren't too bad..."

"Alexander, have you been well?" Zarazu asked, having to stay in her wheelchair due to the uneven nature of the stoned floor in the garden. "I haven't seen much of you lately."

"Father has been very busy. He wanted me out of class for private lessons. Said there are too many distractions."

"I must agree, there has been a lot going on in the castle lately unfortunately." Zarazu shifted a little in her wheelchair to move Zahirog onto the other shoulder. "And is your family well?"

"Father is very stressed." Alex tried to keep it to a minimal.

Zarazu got the feeling the boy did not want to talk about his family. He hardly mentioned his mother. The queen wondered if the poor thing ever received any attention from her. Alex was well aware of the tensions between his father and the crown.

"Alex... you can be yourself here, dear." Zarazu told him gently. "I know things aren't the best right now but you're safe here. Nothing will happen to you under our watch, all right? No matter who does or does not like the other."

Alexander looked down at the ground for the longest time. "Why does my father hate you? You make life so hard for him."

"... Luimaya, Turagor, why don't you go check on Zizi's roses, yes?" Zarazu distracted her twins for a moment at the look of confusion on their faces. "Your mama needs to talk to Alex for a moment alone."

"But... okay." Luimaya figured it was best not to argue and walked with her brother to check on the flowers.

The queen took a slow breath before choosing her words carefully. She could not hold anything against the young boy. He was not his father.

"Your father hates me because I'm not Hylian, dear. He believes a pureblood should be on the throne, not a Lorleidian, not a Gerudo." Zarazu explained to Alexander as softly as she could. "I'm not like him or a lot of the people that live in Hyrule neither is my husband. Your father sticks to tradition, which has respect in some ways yet... sometimes it can hurt others." She looked at her newborn, the overwhelming feeling of dread creeping back when she thought she might lose him. "I come from a different world than your father does. I come from a place where everyone, no matter who you are, is equal. Noble, commoner, king or queen, no one is better than the other. I think that's why your father deems I make life hard for him, young one." Zarazu offered him a quiet smile. "Because I don't believe any one person can be better than the other simply because of this silly notion called 'royal blood'."

"Father tells me stories how I could be on the throne if I tried hard enough. I don't understand why I'm not allowed to play with Luiyama and Turagor. He calls your food filth, your husband a rat, and your family witches. I'm told not to trust your 'kind'. I don't know what that means.”

"I suppose what your father means is he thinks he is superior to us and we are below him, dear Alex." Zarazu tried to put the whole matter as delicately as she could. "I think that's why he doesn't want you to trust us or be around us. We're just a bit too odd for his likings. What Alexander, I must tell you this," The queen leaned a little closer. "Despite what your father says, and whether you decide to trust us completely or not, we will never ever harm you. Even though your sire views us differently, you are not him."

Alexander didn't know what to say, only nodding.

"And I believe I must ask you this, Alexander... do you think me wicked?" Zarazu asked the boy. "You, yourself. Not your father. You must think for yourself one day."

"N-no mamm."

"Then that's all that matters." Zarazu gestured for him to sit in front of her. "Now, love, I believe your hair is a tad unkempt due to this wind. Let me fix it for you, yes?"

Alexander finally sits down, sitting away from her.

"... will you at least have a scone, dear?" Zarazu asked the boy, thinking at least she tried to make a connection. Sometimes, the trust did not come easily. Still, she would not hold it against him for his wariness. Who knew what Zemalocke told him. It was probably something along the lines of her touch was death. "I promise they're fresh and full of the tasty blueberries."

Slowly he inches closer to her. "You can do my hair now..."

Zarazu smiled brightly as he finally was close enough for her to fix his tail of hair. The wind was a bit breezy today, but the garden shield them from the lot of it. Using her fingers, the queen carefully removed the navy ribbon in place and combed through his locks with her nails.

"You want a normal tail again or a braid?"

"Normal Tail please. Don't want Father to notice."

"Of course, dear." Zarazu used the utmost care when fixing his hair. She made sure to reinforce the sides by adding a twist to the end. The ribbon would cover it and both would hold his hair into place. "You are always welcome here, Alex. If you ever need anything at all, you come find me and ask. Promise?"

"Promise."

"That's a good boy, Alex." Zarazu kissed the top of his head. "Now, you hurry home before your mother worries. If you need a ride, fetch one of the guards or ask."

"I don't have a mother mamm."

"... no mother?" Zarazu had been under the notion that Zemalocke was married and his wife was well. Then again, she never saw her anywhere or even heard her name uttered. Was this some sort of taboo forbidden to speak of?

"She's dead mamm."

"I apologize, Alex, I did not know." Zarazu finished off the tail with the ribbon tied in place. The queen never knew her own mother, seeing Odetti died in childbirth. There was just too much blood lost. "I never had a mother myself, yet I had others to look in and care for me. My people, they're my family and since I married Covarog, I seem to find my family growing."

"And it will continue to grow." Covarog walked up behind his wife, leaning down to peck her on the cheek. The twins were giggling, sitting on his shoulders. "A certain pair of twins found the strawberry bushes and promptly had a feast."

"There's still plenty more!" Luimaya wiped at her mouth.

"We only ate a few." Turagor's lips were covered in the same sticky mess as his sister's. "I brought some for Zahirog."

"Zahi can't eat strawberries yet."

"I thought I could mush 'em up for him."

"We have company, love." Zarazu told Covarog as she patted Alexander's shoulders.

Alexander looked up at Covarog and still couldn't help but feel fear from him. "Hello sir."

"Good afternoon, Alexander." Covarog set the twins down beside of their mother. "You two need to go and wash up for your writing lesson."

"But Papa, I don't wanna!" Luimaya protested. "I wanna spar instead!"

"Yeah, can't we do the lesson another day?" Turagor asked. "I'd rather be outside."

"No, you two will go to your lesson and then after that, we will consider sparring." Covarog told his children as he urged them off with one of the guards. "And for goddess' sake, don't prank anyone else with Skull Kid with glitter bombs."

"At least its not stink bombs anymore." Zarazu remarked as the guards took the twins to their lesson. "Don't be anxious, dear. Covarog won't hold anything against you either."

"He still scares me..."

"... you know we actually fought each other when we first met, Alex?" Zarazu tried to change the tone. "At first, I was a bit intimidated by him too. We fought because at first, we deemed each other enemies due to some grievances in the past. Yet, now, look at what happened... sort of ironic, isn't it?"

"A king is supposed to intimidate others... yet, he can hold a soft heart." Covarog took Zahirog from Zarazu so she could have a small break. The baby cooed and babbled loudly as his father held him. Grinning from ear to ear, Covarog felt his heart feel tenderness at how Zahirog held onto his huge finger so tightly. "Especially for his family, his friends, and for innocents. You need not fear me, Alex."

"Thank you. What category is my father lie under?"

"That depends on how your father views me, young Alexander." Covarog answered honestly. "A friend is a friend... yet an enemy is an enemy."

Alexander looked down again. "And how do you treat your enemies?"

"I try to find a way to make peace with them first. Look at how much joy it has brought me to view the Lorleidians as a friend instead of enemy." Covarog held his wife's hand. "Yet, if the enemy refuses to find common ground for the sake of others... then I have to think of how said enemy would treat those I love. I cannot let an enemy hurt someone I care about. Do you understand?"

Alexander looked at him with a neutral expression, maybe even dark. "Father says you shouldn't be on the throne...what do you do to enemies who don't agree with you?"

That actually caused Covarog to snicker a bit.

"Alexander, a lot of nobility besides your father does not want me on the throne." The king told the young boy. "That is simply an opinion of those who do not like the way my queen and I are trying to rule, or, in your father's case, because I am half Gerudo. They're just a pain in the ass---side, I mean side."

Zarazu gave Covarog a look for cursing in front of the children.

"What my husband is trying to say, dear one, is sometimes people do not have faith in anyone that is different."

Alexander dropped his jaw at Covarog swearing. How could someone of such high nobility sweat?! "You swore! Mamm, he swore!!! Kings aren't aloud to swear!!! He should have his mouth cleansed!!!"

"I'm king, I can swear if I damn want to swear." Covarog muttered under her breath until Zarazu nudged his arm hard from her wheelchair. "Ouch! Stop that!"

"Stop cursing in front of the children!"

"Yeah, why can't we say 'damn it' or 'hell'?" Turagor asked with a huff.

"Uncle Malik says it all the time when he's sparring and someone gets the best of him." Luimaya chimed in her two cents.

"And how would you two know that?" Covarog asked them with narrowed eyes.

Turagor and Luimaya just grinned widely.

"We got done early studying and went to spy on him?"

"Oh good spirits..." Zarazu shook her head. "Alexander, we're people too. Even royalty loses their cool sometimes. I have plenty of times."

"In the bedroom." Covarog whispered in her ear to tease her.

Blushing slightly, Zarazu scoffed at him.

"Hush you!"

Alexander couldn't believe what he was hearing. He rushed to Luiyama and Turagor worried. "You can't swear in front of your parents. They'll burn your tongues!"

"We'd never do such a thing." Covarog laughed at Alexander's horror. "Maybe take away their deserts or ground them, but never hurt them."

"Hell yeah!"

"Luimaya, don't push it."

"Aw..."

Alexander was beyond shocked a lady would say 'hell'. "Father says only delinquents find delight in swearing."

"And where is this grand rule book on what royalty is and is not supposed to do?" Covarog questioned the young man. "There are many kind of delinquents... those who start food fights in the kitchen."

"That was fun!" Turagor snickered. "Grandpa and Grandma even played! The whole family was there."

"Stay up late playing hide-and-go-spook." Zarazu laughed. "Everyone jumping and stumbling over things in the dark."

"Uncle Ralnor won that game! He wins a lot!" Luimaya giggled. "I almost won once by hiding in an ale barrel."

"Slide down the hallway in socks and see who can go the furthest and not break any vases."

"Pillow fights."

"Dress-up!"

"Tea parties."

"The list goes on."

Alexander was at a loss for words. "I've never done any of that."

"Alex, just because we're king and queen doesn't mean we can't do things that other people do." Zarazu patted his shoulder. "Before anything else, we're a family."

Alexander was about to ask something but pulled back. His father's demands echoed in his mind. "Queen Zarazu? How is your health?"

"Asking for your father, are you?" Covarog realized now that Zemalocke was using his son. It made him feel sick but angry. "He's often sending others to inquire to see if you've gotten worse or are finally six feet under."

"Covarog, be nice." Zarazu chided her husband lightly. She could give the boy enough details so he would not get in trouble. "I'm still here, dear one. A little stronger every day. Yet, it's a long road to recovery."

Alexander did not like the way Covarog was looking at him. He was monstrously big and scary. "I should be going back to my father."

"I should be fine on my own." Alexander stood up and gave a bow only to Zarazu.

"Are you sure?" Zarazu asked him once more. "It's no bother if you want one of our guards to take you home. I just want you to be safe."

"Better to be safe than sorry. I'll see to him, love." Covarog told Zarazu as he picked up Alexander and settled him on a shoulder just like he did with one of his twins. "We'll find you a guard to take you home safe and sound."

Alexander was spooked to be picked up at first, and it showed on his face. "Is this necessary?"

"What? Don't like piggyback rides? And yes, you can laugh at the pun." Covarog knew anything that had to do with pigs was a touchy subject for his father. Yet, something like this was a bit innocent. "My wife wishes that I see to it that you are home safely with an escort so that is what I'm going to do."

"Father never gives me piggy back rides. Even when I ask."

"... well... that's his loss, then." Covarog headed to the stables and spoke to one of the guards. He was to take Alexander home on horseback and then come straight back to his post. While the guard readied the steed's saddle, the king fetched a sugar cube for Alexander to feed the horse.

"What's this?"

"Sugar cubes. The horses love them." Covarog walked closer to the huge horse. "Hold out your hand flat as can be with the cube in the middle of your palm. The horse will eat it; like a treat for them."

Alexander hesitated. "It won't eat my hand?"

"No, horses are herbivores." Covarog chuckled. "Here, watch me." He took half of the cube and put it in his hand. The mighty steed snuffled and licked the king's hand to take the cube, munching with a flick of his ear. "See?"

"O-ok. Alexander stepped forward to feed the horse. He squinted his eyes as it ate the cube. Surprisingly his fingers weren't taken off.

The horse licked Alexander's palm for the sweetness and snorted.

"Not too bad, was it?" Covarog used his handkerchief to wipe off Alexander's hand of the slobber. After that, he grasped the boy under his arms and set him on the saddle with the guard. "You make sure you send word after you get home. I don't want my wife to worry that you're not safe."

"Ok. Thank you for the ride sir."

"It's no problem." Covarog led the horse out of the stables. "Come back and play with Luimaya and Turagor anytime you wish."

Alexander nodded and left with the guard.

~

Alexander Zemalocke had returned to his father's castle. Peering through the door he saw his father was around a bored room of some nobles. Victor Zemalocke tapped impatiently on his chair. "How many as of now?"

"Ninty-Four my lord."

"Ninety-Four to attack Hyrule Castle at my beckon call. Damn. There should have been more."

When he see's his son the Baron makes a sharp gesture for him to come in. It was like a dog being yanked on its leash for Alexander. "Boy, tell me, what is Zarazu's condition?"

"W-well Father, the Queen says she's in good spirits and health, recovering everyday."

The nobles talk amongst themselves and Zemalocke throws his wine glass against the wall. The red wine leaked down staining the carpet. Alexander jumps back, afraid he was going to be punished. "GOD DAMN IT!!!"

The nobles are cautious. They expected Zarazu to have started losing health by now. The Baron was persistent in telling them she was fading. "Baron Zemalocke, do you have any plans?"

"Quiet worm, I'm thinking!"

Zemalocke stomped back and forth in a spot scheming. Everything he used to try and kill that witch had failed. He was running low on options. Major risks would have to be taken now. He knew he'd have to play all his cards now.

"I have one idea left."

"Will it work Baron? We've already put a good amount of stock into your previous efforts."

" It will ."

The nobles looked at each other and nodded in agreement. They wanted a Hylian on the throne. They already risked much by following the Baron. "Very well. What shall we do?"

"Get those that will follow us ready to strike the castle at my notice. If plan A fails, then I shall deal with the whole royal family myself."

The nobles muttered in agreement and left. Victor Zemalocke turned to his butler. "Put my son to bed. I need to travel."

"Of course sir."

Alexander wanted to object to his father, but the words hung in his mouth. He went upstairs having a silent pray Zarazu wouldn't have to die, or anyone for that matter. The Baron meanwhile hopped on his horse and traveled far into the Lost Woods in secret.

Once at the Woods and positive he was not followed, the Baron knocked on a particular tree. "Hello? Are you there?"

For a moment, no answer. As Zemalocke turned a figure jumped down from the trees. "And who pray tell are you?"

Zemalocke studied him. He wore a thick trench coat, and a bird like mask, something akin to a plague doctor, but made of solid gold. "I am Baron Zemalocke. Are you the Garo Master?"

"I am."

"Then you are the world's greatest assassin? You have never failed?"

"No Garo fails and lives to tell of it."

Zemalocke felt some relief. It felt as though this was the final piece he needed. "I'd like to hire you."

"I am quite costly."

"Money is no problem."

"Very well." The Garo Master brought out a contract and a knife. Zemalocke took a step back.

"What's this?"

"A most sacred of binding contracts. You will sign in blood."

Zemalocke took the knife. He hated the thought of even dropping a single bit of his blood, but if it meant the end of his enemies, so be it. He cut open his finger and dripped the blood onto the contract. Carefully he signed his name.

The Garo took the contract and put it his purple pockets. "It is done. Now what is your mark?"

"I want you to wipe out the Royal Family of Hyrule, specifically the King and Queen. I'll pay bonuses to any others."

"Then it will be done."

Zemalocke was a little surprised. "Just like that?"

"Just like that. We will only see each other once more."

Before Zemalocke said anything the Garo Master jumped into the air in a flash, not picked up by the Baron's eyes. For once the Baron felt hope, but he had tasted defeat enough to know he needed to be prepared. One more ritual would fix that.