#the first vday event had me a bit 'aw man here we go....' but then....??????

[flovverworks]

speaking of rustica but them going "ya hes trans" is so unreal to me too (positive)

[castielsparkle]

SIGHHHHH okay posting. mainly to keep tabs bc my mental pinboard and various notes on it all over are a mess so this will help me finalize my shit.

so on 03/25/2024 (this upcoming monday) there is going to be a penumbral lunar eclipse. moon has played + still plays a big role in our dynamic in a ton of ways. also 3 and 25 are two of his favorite numbers and there are no significant events surrounding this period of time close enough for it to be a squish anniversary deal in the future ykwim, it stands alone sufficiently. we will be going to the cemetery - we have wanted to go for awhile, and i finally found one that works! (this location is also relevant bc we both want to become morticians lol<3) the moon will not only be a penumbral lunar eclipse but also a full moon! as far as he knows all we are doing is making + exchanging blood vials and locks of hair in the cemetery LOL. the max. of the eclipse is going to be at 3:12am - 3 and 11 are his fav numbers (tied) so i will be asking him out at precisely this moment if all goes to plan and then bam eclipse time babyyy. and by this time we will have scouted a place to sit and watch it.

before verbally asking him out - i will be giving him a handwritten letter, sprayed with a cologne hes wanted really really badly that he doesnt know i got him yet loll. when we went to the place its sold at and he checked for it he was like :(( aw man its all gone we cant get it today and i was like oh nooo this is so sad ill just have to get it later lets go smell the candles together babygirl (guy who had acquired the cologne for him the night prior to going w him voice LMAO.) and im also going to be wrapping the letter up w a maroon ribbon tied around it + sealing the ribbon w melted wax from his fav candle of mine (sandalwood & tobacco - he complimented it the night we met :]) and then painting over the melted wax w a deep rich blue pigment (symbolizing deep romance and passion.) and then the red ribbon just cause his fav colors r red and black.

also the moon stuff - this months full moon is usually associated w the moving of winter -> spring and is used to symbolize hope for the coming months, renewal, new beginnings, good luck, and the constellation of the virgo maiden will be visible that night. the virgo maiden constellation is usually associated w similar messages - hope, bountiful harvest, fertility, not all necessarily literal in this case but yk, good things to come from here on. also with its heavy association w wheat, which is associated w the most basic need being satiated, hunger, -> fulfillment, nourishment, growth, transformation, and in this case, i love him, i want to make sure he eats well, yknow. anyways. winters our fav season but in the more symbolic sense. cold and death -> warmth and rebirth transitional period. also the etymology of monday derives from 'the moons day' :] oh and!! the virgo maiden constellation is typically depicted w angel wings - and the night we met he said i looked like an angel, and he has continued saying similar compliments since :"] virgo maiden also is known to symbolize helping and serving, and we both greatly enjoy taking care of one another

additional: giving him a single red rose (light association with vday which was the day of our first date, but heavier association w red rose = deep romance, desire, love, longing, passion + singular rose = love at first sight - which i have had beef with my entire life until i met him and was floored by how immediately i felt the urge to proclaim my love for him.) handwritten letter, scented w incense + that cologne i mentioned (- which i was gonna get him for his bday but second guessed - turns out i was entirely correct and he very very very much wanted it and was so excited when i mentioned it and said that wouldve been perfect loll, anyways) its going to be prose about all of the times i bit my tongue on saying i love you to him, as neither of us have said this yet! which is entirely unknown to me before, as i am always telling everyone i love them, its usually what i say in place of 'goodbye' when i leave my house lol. like. i literally am always saying it. so the fact ive bit my tongue is soo peculiar and new to me. and its eating me alive i need to tell him. so this will be that. making a cd mix with lovesongs/songs tht make me think of him that i know in his fav genres, we have bonded quite a lot over music (on a related note, the last time we went out on a full moon was for my siblings bday - we went to a club that played nothing but the smiths + the cure, and when just like heaven by the cure was playing i remember dancing w him and singing the im in love with you part w him and kissing and. i keep doing this thing where i will say i love you only by singing it to him in songs we listen to so thats fun. like one of the first times he fell asleep in my lap i sang my love mine all mine - mitski to him as he drifted off. continued to do this a few times until i found out apparently he was still awake during this! because he later said he enjoyed hearing it while drifting off 🥲) my outfit is going to consist of all black save for my red tie + light green nail polish. red can symbolize romance ofc but. well i shouldnt have to say bc this is the childrens hospital website BUT also blood. which is a big theme in our relationship also LOL. nails r gonna be the same green as his eyes bc im gay but also green can symbolize hope :]. the cologne i got him is also a dupe of a scent that is known to 'smell like corpses' also so theres that.

in summary. asking him out in a cemetery during full moon+one minute before the max view of the penumbral lunar eclipse for our location. this months full moon usually symbolizes renewal, growth, rebirth, starting anew/new beginnings, shedding the 'winter blues', and hope for the future. same w the virgo maiden constellation which will be visible that night. also we r gonna both be morticians hence the cemetery. handwriting him a letter + spraying it with a scent hes really wanted then i am also giving him the bottle itself ofc lol. as far as he knows all were doing is going to exchange vials of blood and locks of hair<3 theres probably more things im forgetting but im sooo sleepy need to pass out now. if i fumble this idk what im gonna do wish me so much fucking luck please LMAOOO

i think if i trued to explain the plans i have to ask him out itd be like an entire dissertation but itll be so fucking embarrassing if i fuck it up or he doesnt like me like that so maybe ill bite my tongue before i post it and risk showing my ass over this . however i probably wont do that and will just post it anyways in like five minutes