#the fifth chapter just refuses to cooperate with me and i struggle to write out of order if i'm not writing WAY out of order

[ilasknives]

COLLARBONES: A Future Piece.

Hello! It’s been, like, six? Seven? months since the last Collarbones update. I still don’t have the next part. I’ve been attempting to write it that entire time, but it evades me - however! I do have this little piece about a Future Nico that isn’t whump (it’s horribly sweet and he deserves it), but it’s a glance into his future and where he gets to, one day. (Not the end of his story, though. There’s more to go for him beyond this). I’m gonna give you this and I’ll let you guess where Callum is and what Nico’s injuries he’s still healing from were caused by as a fun little ‘what’s in store for him’ lmao. Enjoy!

The music isn't made for swaying, not really.

It's the loud, electronic kind, the kind you're meant to jump to, no thought or finesse required, just good feelings and the thud of your feet against the floor. It pulses through the speakers and across the club, so loud Nico can barely hear himself think, but he doesn't mind. It's all part of the experience, even as overwhelming as it has been, and he's come to love it.

(He's come to love everything like this, everything that feels impolite and reckless and such a far cry from what Vaughn wanted him to be.)

Nico's cane rests against the wall not too far from him, still in his line of sight but not immediately necessary. His knee's been good today, and anyway, he has something else to hold on to right now. 

There's something he can't quite name in the way the music is so harsh, but he's being held so gently in someone's arms. They're tucked into a corner, he and Sebastian, and they're swaying. Nico's arms rest over his shoulders, one hand in the fabric of his sweater and the other buried in the soft curls of his hair. It's sweet, the way Seb's hands tighten on his waist every now and then, like he's worried he might fall, or leave him. (Neither could happen here. Here, Nico is safe, he is held.) They've both been silent for a while, just holding each other. Being close.

Nico taps his shoulder gently, and Seb's chin lifts from his shoulder.

"Mm?"

He laughs softly. "Just making sure you weren't falling asleep on me."

"With music like this? Never." Seb's voice is soft, so different from the rough, painful rasp of Nico's own now, and he loves it. Would listen to him speak forever. Seb moves his hands, gripping the fabric of Nico's shirt gently, then drawing back. "How's your knee? Need a break?"

"I'm fine. It's not bad today."

There's a hum, and Seb's chin drops back down onto his shoulder. He's taller than Nico, and he has to hunch over to do it, but he never seems to mind. The contact, the weight of it, is nice. Reassuring. Nico threads his fingers further into his hair, shifting his weight back onto his good leg. Leaning one way, then the other. Swaying.

"We look ridiculous," Seb mumbles into his shoulder, and Nico hums.

"I know. I'm glad."

The music changes, into something just as atrocious as the last song, and Seb pulls away again. Nico chases his touch, a hand on his shoulder, his cheek, but Seb only smiles and reaches up to entwine their fingers. "Dance with me."

"We are dancing."

Seb shakes his head, laughs. "No we're not. We're… rocking."

"Swaying," he corrects softly.

"Mm. Swaying. Dance with me properly." He grins, a flash of teeth, eyes bright. "Let me twirl you around."

He pulls Nico's arm and he goes, laughing. He lets himself get twirled around and falls right back into Seb's chest. Arms wrap around his middle. He reaches up behind his head to rest his palm on Seb's cheek, and Seb presses a soft kiss to his palm. 

He laughs and turns himself, buries his face in Seb's shoulder to resume their swaying as Seb hugs him tighter. 

"That dancing didn't last long."

"I prefer swaying."

"Nicer on the knee?"

Yes, Nico thinks, but that's not entirely it. It's much nicer on his knee, doesn't cause him the all aches and struggles that dancing on it does, no grinding of the never-properly-healed bones together. But he would have preferred this anyway. Nico's always been desperate for touch, and he's closer to Seb this way, held against him, able to hold on.

"Yes," he says simply anyway, and he knows that Seb understands.

Soft lips press against his hairline one, two, three times. "Do you want a drink, Neeks?"

Nico presses his face further into the fabric of his sweater and mumbles a muffled yes, but he doesn't let go. 

Seb tries and fails to pull away, and lets out an amused huff on top of Nico's head. "Alright, you've gotta let me go if you want it. We can't go up to the bar like this."

"Sure we can."

"Nico."

"Sebastian."

He laughs again, they both laugh, and it's the best Nico's felt in a long time. When they pull away, he reaches for his cane, the rings on his fingers clacking against it. Seb's left hand slips into Nico's right, and they go up to the bar together.

Later, they try dancing again, and they mostly get it right.

But Nico likes the first part better, anyway.

Taglist: @insatiablewhump, @rainbows-and-whumperflies @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @hold-him-down @whumpinthepot @magic-is-something-we-create

[beewolfwrites]

And When I am Formulated, Sprawling on a Pin - Chapter Seventeen: Breaking Point

I wasn’t feeling too well while I was editing this, so I’m sorry in advance if the writing isn’t as good. Though I've been through it several times to try and make it better. Hopefully you can still enjoy it :) 

This is a Chishiya x OC/Reader fic, for those who don’t know. If you’d like to catch up with the previous chapters, you can find them all here on AO3. 

Thank you so much for reading!! You guys are amazing <3

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I collapsed to the ground in a shriveled mess of tears and shaking limbs. The rifle had been empty. Either he ran out of bullets and he just rolled with it, or he purposely emptied it beforehand with no intention of killing me. I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, shivering and telling myself that I was alive, that I was okay, even if my body wasn’t convinced yet.

Eventually, the lights turned off in the hall of mirrors, and I was submerged in near darkness. It should’ve been scarier than it was, but now that there was no light refracting off every surface, and most of my fear had subsided, I could finally see the true path to the exit.

Picking myself up off the ground, I left the building and followed the signs through the park towards the entrance. In the distance, Aguni, Niragi and Last Boss were inspecting their weapons as they approached the car. There was no sign of the fifth member of our group.

Niragi smiled brightly as I appeared. ‘There she is! Our little zebra survived.’

I folded my arms against the cold, avoiding Niragi’s gaze. On the other hand, Aguni frowned when he saw me. ‘Get in the car,’ he said.

I didn’t know if the ride back to the Beach was better or worse than the one going. With our fifth team member dead, Niragi took the front passenger seat, meaning there was room in the back to sit by myself.

But it was impossible not to notice the occasional glance of mild confusion Aguni sent at me through the mirror. ‘彼女を殺さなかったないか,’ he said quietly. You didn’t kill her?

I stiffened in my seat. Aguni knew what Niragi had been up to, but from his bored tone and mild curiosity, he had no interest in my death.

So it’s just Niragi who thinks Chishiya, Kuina and I are plotting something.

Niragi leaned back in his seat, looking at me through the rear-view mirror. ‘まだまだ.’ Not yet.

After that, they talked in hushed tones, and I struggled to understand what they were saying. Only a few feet away, Last Boss was silent. His katana, smeared with blood, was propped up on the back seat.

I couldn’t wait to get back to the Beach.

-------------------------------------------------

It turned out that if you’d been in a game with Niragi, Aguni and Last Boss, returning to the Beach wasn’t just a slip-inside-quietly-and-take-a-shower deal. With one arm around my shoulders, Niragi steered me along with the group as we paraded around the pool.

‘Oi! Turn that music off,’ Niragi snapped at someone, and everything went quiet. All eyes were on us.

This was bad. This was very bad. I didn’t want to be associated with the militants, and the way Niragi had his arm around me, people would think that I was with him, especially considering the rumours floating around about what had happened. Eventually, Aguni stopped when familiar faces came into view.

The boy from the Tag game, the climber girl and Kuina. They were relaxing together on recliners. Before leaving for her game, Kuina had said something about getting to know the boy, and from the looks of things now, they were already in the process of making friends. At the sight of our group, they stopped talking.

Kuina’s eyes instantly landed on me, then widened at the arm around my shoulder. Part of me was silently pleading for her help, but I also didn’t want her to get involved. Knowing Kuina, she was smart enough not to rile up the militants.  

Aguni scanned the two new members. ‘Where’s your friend?’

Does he mean the blond one from the game?

The boy tried to speak but couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It was obvious what had happened.

‘What a shame,’ Aguni said, lazily. ‘So only the small fish survived.’ His eyes roamed over the climber girl, then he nodded to Niragi. ‘Bring that woman over.’

My heart jumped. He was going to take her.

He’s going to do to her what Niragi…

Releasing me, Niragi moved towards the girl. Now free, I took my opportunity and darted away from the group, earning a raised brow from Aguni and a grin from Niragi. He placed his hand on the girl’s arm, beginning to pull her away.

I wanted to protest. I wanted to speak up. But my body refused to cooperate.

Why can’t I say anything?

But to my surprise, someone did interject. The boy.

‘Hey, don’t get involved with this,’ Kuina warned him.

Niragi’s eyes glinted in that familiar way. It had seen it before at the bar, and when he chased me at the theme park and zoo. And now, there it was again. He smiled at the girl. ‘Our boss says he wants to have a taste of you—’

‘I said stop!’ The boy grabbed Niragi’s arm. This couldn’t end well. I waited with bated breath for Niragi to punch him, kick him in the ribs, or even shoot him right there on the spot.

Instead, he shrugged out of the boy’s hold like it was nothing. ‘Boss, what should we do with this brat?’

Please don’t kill him, please don’t kill him.

‘Take him away and break his legs so he’ll die in the next game.’

With one signal from Niragi, several militants from the crowd moved forward to take the climber girl, while Niragi pulled the boy away by the scruff. That was, until the boy tore away from Niragi and darted back to the girl, blocking the militants’ path.

I don’t think I can watch.

Fingers lightly brushed the back of my elbow, and I turned to find Chishiya standing next to me, hood pulled up over his head. His hand retreated back into his pocket as he watched the scene before us. I couldn’t help but relax at his presence.

‘What’s going on over here? Is this a fight?’

Hatter’s voice broke through the crowds, as the Beach’s residents parted to make way. Niragi rolled his eyes.

‘Back off Hatter,’ Aguni said, ‘this doesn’t concern you.’

‘I can’t do that,’ Hatter replied, waving his hands in a regal display. ‘As number-one, I’m obliged to maintain order at the Beach. Could you do me a favour, Aguni, and stop driving the newcomers away?’ When there was no reply, Hatter turned to the others. ‘Niragi?’

Rebellious as always, Niragi simply looked away. ‘I only take orders from the boss.’

‘Then let me ask your boss.’ He squared up to Aguni as they stared each other down. ‘Who’s your boss?’

Beside me, Chishiya hummed ligtly with amusement. The whole pool grew stiff, waiting in anticipation as the two men locked eyes.

‘It’s you, right?’ Aguni said simply.

Hatter stepped away. ‘Go take a shower,’ he muttered, then called out across the pool. ‘I need executives to gather in the meeting room now.’ As Aguni, Niragi and Last Boss disappeared into the hotel, Hatter gestured to the newcomer. ‘You too, Arisu.’

Arisu… so that’s his name.

The two left, and the pool slowly relaxed, the music and bar picking where it had left off. Chishiya brushed past me to join Kuina’s side.

‘So, what do you think about him?’ he asked quietly.

It hurt a little that Chishiya had directed the question so blatantly at Kuina rather than the both of us, but I was too tired to say anything, let alone complain.

‘I like him,’ Kuina said, smiling. Then as if suddenly remembering, she spun around, seeing me hovering behind the recliner. ‘Hey, what was that about before?’ Her eyes dropped to my feet. ‘And where the hell are your shoes?’  

I shook my head. How could I even begin to start telling them was happened in the game? I was still coming to terms with it myself. Chishiya’s eyes slid from my dirtied clothes, to my muddy socks, then back up to mine.  

‘He tried something during your game, didn’t he?’ Kuina muttered.

I wanted to tell her everything, but the words just wouldn’t come out. We were surrounded by people everywhere, and there were a few of them nearby who were looking at us curiously. They were pretending not to listen too much, but from the way their eyes glanced over, it was clear they wanted the latest gossip.

‘Kuina,’ Chishiya said, ‘take her to your room. I’ll join you both after Hatter’s meeting.’

With that, he headed off, leaving Kuina to shield me from prying eyes as we made our way back into the hotel.

------------------------------------------------

I hadn’t intended to cry. In fact, I hated the way I always teared up at everything like a child. But even just talking about the game had brought back the fear of being hunted down by Niragi, and the pure terror of that final moment when I wholeheartedly believed I was going to die.

Stop crying, I told myself, as Kuina passed me another tissue. Stop crying.

We were sitting on Kuina’s bed as I talked through every second of the game, the predators, how Niragi had shot at me from across the park, the bear attack, and then finally, our showdown in the hall of mirrors. I even told her about the conversation in the car, and how Niragi planned to kill me at some point, but only when he was finished having fun.

‘You did pretty well to survive without a weapon,’ she said, impressed. ‘I can’t believe you wrestled a bear.’

‘I didn’t wrestle it, I tased it,’ I pulled the converted Walkman from my pocket and tested the buttons. It was still broken. ‘It didn’t have any effect. It was like the animals weren’t real. They didn’t react to injuries like normal ones would.’

Kuina nodded, understanding. ‘Yeah, I’ve seen animals like that in games before. It’s like they’ve been designed specially to kill players.’

I shuddered at the memory of the bear’s hot fur, the smell of flesh on its breath, the beady darkness of its eyes. Despite the misfortune of the whole game, I was lucky to have survived without a scratch, and that was more than some people could say.

There was a creak as the door opened and Chishiya entered. He pulled up a chair and without needing to be asked, talked us through the executive meeting. As it turned out, there was only one card left to collect – the Ten of Hearts. And with Hatter’s visa running out tomorrow, it meant only one thing: the militant sect was going to take over sooner rather than later.

With his explanation over, Chishiya looked to me, waiting. ‘Your game,’ he said, ‘what happened?’

I repeated everything I’d told to Kuina, but aside from an amused glint or a raised brow, he didn’t seem at all surprised or disturbed. It was only when I finished that he finally spoke.

‘I gave you that taser for Niragi, and you go and waste it on a bear.’

I knew better than to expect sympathy from him by now. ‘I didn’t waste it. The bear would’ve killed me.’

He tilted his head. ‘Actually, from the sounds of it, Niragi saved your life. I’m not sure what there is to cry about.’

‘I’m crying because I thought I was going to die. Maybe not you, but most people would cry in that situation.’ I looked down at the blackened taser in my hands. ‘I’m sorry, I might have broken this though.’

With a hum, he took it from me and gave it a once over. ‘I’ll fix it.’

‘We should do something to get back at him,’ Kuina said quietly. She regarded Chishiya like one would an irresponsible child. ‘This all started because of your feud with him. It’s up to you to fix this.’

He dismissed the idea immediately. ‘Forget about that for now. We’re running out of time and we need to focus on the plan.’

We spent the rest of the evening discussing whether or not the Ten of Hearts would appear. After all, if we stole the Beach’s cards and the final one never showed up, it would be almost pointless. Considering the layout of these games, they were created by people, which meant that someone out there was controlling what cards were assigned to which game. It was as if they were waiting for the perfect opportunity, maybe even a certain condition, to introduce the Ten of Hearts.

Chishiya and I eventually left to head back to our respective rooms. Much to my surprise, he accompanied me all the way to my door, but I didn’t want to question it in case he decided to leave. He didn’t speak much, except to tell me that I could lose the bandages around my arm by now, but the gauze was still a necessity.

When we finally arrived at my door, I hesitated to go inside. ‘Maybe Kuina was right… we should do something about Niragi.’

‘I’m surprised,’ he said, considering me with a sigh. ‘I thought you knew me well by now.’ Then putting in his headphones, he disappeared.

If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve assumed he had no interest or intention of getting back at Niragi. But I did know better. Chishiya wasn’t one to simply ‘react’ to provocation. In fact, he didn’t ‘react’ to anything. He was always one, or even three steps ahead, just how he liked it.

That’s why it didn’t surprise me at all when I later learned that a fire had broken out that night in Niragi’s room.

[dark0angel13]

The Ties That Bind

This is a story I’ve been working on for the better part of four years. I have it posted to my FFN account, but the beginning chapters are trash so I’m rewriting it and posting it to my AO3 account. You can find the original 33 chapters here, but if youd rather wait until I get around to posting updated chapters, you can read the first chapter now here,

Without further adieu...here goes.

I forgot how cruel the world could be. For a split second, the thought of a person taking another life, was foreign to me. What happened to make humanity lose its grip on compassion? What was the trigger for this complete switch to one’s personality? The questions flash through my mind almost too quickly as hot tears stream down my face. My eyes seem glued to my sister as she's carted off to God knows where, and just like that, my heart shatters into pieces.  

A scream rips its way up my throat, and I’m clawing at the arm around my neck, nails digging into flesh in an attempt to free myself. The grip is strong, but no matter how hard I struggle, twist, and fight, escape seems impossible. All I can do is watch in horror as her form grows smaller; the carriage she’s locked in gets further from my reach. Their cries echo around me and my jaw tightens.  

“Struggle all you want little girl, you won’t save them.” The owner of the voice flexes his arm and breathing becomes difficult. “You would be going too, but a child who fights tooth and nail against everyone, will serve no purpose in the Tower of Heaven. You will die here, and while you bleed out you can regret not cooperating when you had the chance. You will never see your sister again.” A gasp escapes me when he relaxes and I’m doing my best to suck air into my lungs. Every nerve ending is alight with white hot pain, and I can feel my head pounding in time with my pulse, but giving up is not an option right now. Not when she needed me.  

“I’ll…kill…all of…y-you…” The threat comes out as a hiss and blackness encroaches on the edges of my vision; my arms feel like lead.  

“Little bitch!” His anger is almost palpable, and seconds later my hearing fails. The world seems to stop, time itself standing still and I feel something hit me, followed by a tugging sensation.  My eyes widen and my body jerks, but there’s no pain. My struggling stops; my arms refuse to work anymore, falling limp at my sides, and I can feel a rush of liquid invade my mouth. My sense of taste is next to fail me, and even though I know blood dribbles from the corner of my lips, I can’t taste it. Nor can my nose pick up on any smell at all, as that sense quickly follows suit. Every sense I have, refuses to work. I can’t help a glance down; knowing full well what I’ll see, but still needing the clarification, and sure enough, the blade is there—protruding just to the right of my belly button—glistening in the moonlight, and tinged crimson.  

Words fail me then, and I can barely manage a gasp of air because each shallow breath I make, seemed an impossible feat. Even the slightest shift in my body is enough to move the blade and though it didn’t hurt, the damage would only increase. Is this it? Am I going to die here? The questions come, but not the answers and when I look up, I meet her beautiful amber eyes now wide with terror. Her face is contorted in shock and I can see her hands trembling around the bars, her knuckles white from tension.  

Sound comes rushing back to me then, filling my ears with a myriad of acoustics that I can only barely comprehend. The iron grip around my neck is suddenly gone and it’s in that moment, when my legs refuse to hold me up anymore and my face is rushing to meet the ground at an alarming speed. My entire balance shifts on its axis and I hit the ground with enough force to bring a scream from my lips, pain exploding in my left temple. But it’s not me I was worried about. I couldn’t care less about what happens to me. All I cared about was her. Her image leaves my field of vision but I hear my name die on her lips before a bone crunching thud echos and her grunt of pain follows.  

All around me houses burned, livestock lay slaughtered, and people lay lifeless as the monsters who stormed into our small village, now vacate just as swiftly as they’d come. What did we do to deserve this? The question repeats over and over in my head. The sound of the carriage is gone, leaving me to bask in the symphony that is raging fire and haughty laughter, and I hate it. They were just going to vanish now, literally getting away with not only murder, but child abduction as well. That simply could not happen.  

“Leave the girl to bleed to death. She can’t do anything anyway, and it would be a waste of time to finish her off. Let’s go boys.” That same gruff voice speaks, and I can hear the amusement.  So, they were leaving me for dead? I didn’t warrant even a finishing blow? How insulting. My pulse races faster now; my blood boils so hot I can see steam emanating from my skin. The numbness in my limbs abates, replaced by seething hatred faster than I can comprehend, and something inside me seems to explode outward, ripping up the ground around me even as the pain fades from my consciousness.  

I know instantly what the feeling is. The magic lying dormant within me finally activating, and I feel the raw power of it running through me light a current. My strength swells, letting me know I still have the opportunity of ridding the world of the scum that remained in my village. I was given a second chance I sure wasn’t going to let it slip through my hands. The air grows silent around me as the magic rages like a torrent, swirling in a typhoon of brilliant indigo that rockets skyward. The blade comes free with a sickening squelch and a pained hiss escapes me. It was a beautiful dark steel, running the entire length of my body, the hilt decorated with woven red and blue patterns.  

I struggle to stand, my legs threatening to collapse under me, as the world spins. The sword is heavy, but at the same time, the weight of it has a calm washing over me. I can do this. The thought flutters through my mind as my right hand applies pressure to the wound in my stomach, the sword held in a death grip by my dominant one with every ounce of strength my body would allow. My magic chooses that moment to calm down, and it dissipates on the wind like smoke.  

“Hey!” The anger in my voice surprises me, the steadiness of it even more so, and the threat laced within the simple word sends a shiver racing down my spine. I watch as their forms freeze, and I swear not a single one even risks a breath in. I take a step forward, making sure my stance allows me to either attack or defend should the need arise. Two of the five remaining jumped slightly, stepping back on instinct if I had to muster a guess, and even from here I could smell their fear; see the beads of sweat glistening on their trembling forms, and a primal part of me loved that feeling. The hunters were now the hunted and I wasn’t going to let them get away.  

“Easy now…I know you’re upset…but killing us isn’t going to bring anyone back. It’s not going to make you feel better!” The man in front says shakily, his once arrogant chuckle, replaced with terror.  

“No,” I crouch and reel my arm back, ready to put everything I had into this, to ensure they never bothered anyone again. To make sure they never ripped apart another village; another family again. “but it’s a start!”  

I move then, my body blurring as I release all of my magic power at once, and the force of it obliterates everything in its path. The fires that run rampant through my village are snuffed out in an instant, their memory floating through the night in the form of ash, and the shock wave rockets the remains of the houses off into the distance, the screaming of the wind overpowering every other sound. They didn’t stand a chance really, and it’s over before I even straighten.  

In the wake of my sword, is a trench forming outward into a massive ‘V’ shape, originating at my feet and easily reaching what looked to be as wide as five houses. The effect has my entire body shaking and I can feel the magic fading. A sigh escapes me, and I turn on my heel to sprint off into the direction I last saw the carriage heading.  

 will find you… My foot catches on a root and I hit the ground with a grunt, and stars dance in my vision. Air is suddenly difficult to acquire and the pain is slowly, agonizingly, beginning to return as the high of adrenaline fades into nonexistence. I try to stand, to move any limb at all, but my body refuses to obey me anymore; seems to be fine with succumbing to numbness as all sensation fades in my hands and feet.  

This is it. This is where I die. Alone, weak, and wondering if my younger sister would even live to see her fifth birthday. My jaw clenches as a fresh wave of tears fall and soak into the dirt.  

“At…least I c-can die…knowing I avenged…our p-parents…stay alive….”  The last vestiges of strength leave me in a rush of breath from my already burning lungs, and blackness encroaches on my vision. The last thing I remember is her face flashing through my mind, and her name fading from my lips.  

“Erza.”

END

In my opinion, this is still trash, but I won’t get better unless people rip my stuff apart and tell me what they want. So...have at it. Tell me if you love it, hate it, want me to keep going, or if I should give up writing all together. 

[floggingink]

Riverdale: “Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend”

What damn high school in America: Riverdale High classes begin at 8:30 and last until 3:01, fucking imaginary high schools starting classes a fucking hour later in the morning than my fucking real one

Riverdale English students discuss dystopian fiction as sophomores, fucking imaginary high schools leaving 1984 and Brave New World a fucking year later than my fucking real one

Archie and Jughead continue to, apparently, seamlessly live out of the same room

Archie really, really wanting his parents to work it out after all this time is precious, his baseball-style Henley, precious

Veronica was rich: I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’m ready to guess that Veronica’s black handbag with the lock is an Hermès

“Why does this suddenly feel like a friend-tervention?”

Betty has known Jughead most of her waking life and doesn’t know when his birthday is? Jughead has been keeping that shit under mad wraps

Archie does a VERY good friend-tervention telling Betty about Jughead and the Bijou and how Betty trumps him this year

Fifth period is AP English: Archie forgot until this moment that The Three Musketeers is an actual book. I would posit Jughead as principles-of-friendship-above-all Aramis, Archie as loopy Porthos, Betty as a less-drunk Athos, and Veronica as flashy newby d’Artagnan

Betty-inviting-gang-leader-FP-Jones-to-dinner is but the first salvo in this episode’s artillery battery BEETHOVEN DRAMA OPERA

“Does he know you’re calling me?”: FP’s instinctual “ahhhhah” uncomfortable laugh at Betty “surprising” Jughead; “There’s one thing Jughead likes less than surprises, and that’s his birthday,” wisdom of the elders

how did Betty get FP’s cell? HOW? I don’t care! Riverdale!

Archie immediately shakes his head, like a lot, like emphatically, at Betty throwing Jughead a “low-key surprise party,” the third time Betty is straightforwardly told to leave it alone, Veronica characterizes it as “negativity” as opposed to “life truths about how some people are shy and introverted”

Kevin: Everybody says that and nobody means it. Archie: He fucking well means it

CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!

“lats” apparently are like, back muscles

can you believe Betty marched right over there!!?? Betty full of rage is my favorite Betty!!!!

the shot of Betty clenching her fist at her side like a gritty reboot of the Arthur meme

“I’M NOT GOING DARK ANYTHING.” remember how awesome Betty was in the first episode right before Cheryl sat down at their lunch table and Betty was like “DON’TTALKABOUTARCHIE”?? I’m breathing into a paper bag

Veronica recognizes Dark Betty from across the caf

Ethel’s extremely wholesome lunch of half a sandwich, an orange, a banana

Archie is like…what…at Chuck winking at him…

everyone is focusing their misplaced interpersonal tension on this party and EVERYONE IS GOING TO EXPLODE!! CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK! YES!!!

the same day: “Man, you don’t quit, do you?” “Rarely. If ever.”

her brown skirt!

of course the last time Betty saw Jughead and his father interact was FP showing up late to get him out of questioning at the sheriff’s, so she assumes Jughead seeing FP being there for him is what he wants

Alice’s flowery blouse

“You’re really falling for this Jones boy, aren’t you?” YUP-PER

Betty KNOWS she should tell Jughead about the CHUCK! chlorine/maple syrup drama, but that was Dark Betty! so she doesn’t!!!

“There are some things about myself that I struggle with.”

I haven’t seen a single John Landis movie! but he’s always funny on those Bravo’s 100 Scariest Movie Moments Halloween specials

Archie just informs Jughead that he’s going to the movies with Betty, and Jughead is like, Et tu?

Jughead uncomfortably describing his family refusing to acknowledge their problems, arbitrary celebrations, my childhood

Veronica in plastic cat-eye reading glasses? no, that’s fine. yes. sure, I guess. sure. yes. fine.

@newton-scarmander

Hermione listening to what Veronica has figured out since learning what Archie overheard: is she hearing this for the first time, about the Blossom payments and the Blossoms’ hand in Hiram’s arrest? or is she thinking hard while her daughter catches up to where she already is?

Hermione calls Clifford a “wig-wearing monster,” DAMN

Cheryl’s hair: no ponytail this practice for the HBIC! doesn’t need one!

Cheryl, on being front-and-center as usual: “But of course. I do have the maddest skills on the squad.”

“We live in a democratic society, Cheryl.” no cheertators here! only friend-terventions!

Gay?!: “Who’s cherry-on-top?” VERONICA?

Gay.: stop and truly think about the glory of the dance-off. it is completely unnecessary narratively except to piss Cheryl off enough to want revenge, which could just as easily have come from Veronica tossing a snide remark over her shoulder. instead, literally, before my eyes, a cheerleader-themed ode to sapphism. catered to girls. high-waisted shorts. Veronica’s shirt is tucked in. Cheryl’s So You Think You Can Dance hair-writhing. Veronica’s toned thighs and baseball socks. Cheryl is in lipstick for no reason

Betty knows who won before she asks, has never been prouder, more gay

to be sure, though, where are Veronica and the Vixens going? is practice over?

Cheryl is furious at being overturned, but also on principle that her living mannequins didn’t even have the guts to vote against her

“SHOO, BITCHES.”

Archie is so stressed he is getting out his father’s alcohol at five in the afternoon???

DILTON, DILTON, DILTON IS BACK! I MISSED YOU, YOU CREEP

“our arch-nemesi”: not nemeses? possibly a “Winklevii” reference

Cheryl’s pins: Cheryl has pinned her spider pin onto her white fur

Cheryl eats the cherry-on-top on top of Chuck’s milkshake. oh little does she know. “I saw the way you were looking at me.” LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW

Veronica has a dark sparkly pin on HER black fur

Mr. Sowerberry went to the Bryan Fuller-Hannibal Lecter school of interior decorating for offices (it’s dim af)

Hiram Lodge is so shady he uses “–” instead of an em-dash

does Jughead not eat lunch in the cafeteria with everyone else? why wasn’t this quiet bitch at lunch with them?

Kevin and Jughead “TALK”

Best costume bit: obviously Betty’s crown sweater from Sak’s was knitted by angels just for her, one imagines Jughead’s expression upon seeing it

“What exactly happened between you guys that night?” ALERT!!!!!! JUGHEAD DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BALCONETTE BRA!!!!!!!

“I only really ask because…he made it sound like you were upset.”

Betty Cooper thematically coded as a werewolf really waters my crops, Jughead beams, cupping her shoulder yyeeeesssssss

Ethel’s scarab beetle pin is back! why was Ethel invited? why not, but like, why was she invited. she seems like an overheard-and-Betty-was-too-polite-to-deny invite

Joaquin is always welcome, but PEOPLE LIKE KEVIN (bitter party rant) thinking that their SO’s being their SO’s entitles them to inner-circle status, thus ballooning the guest list, is what ruins inner-circle-only parties for SHY INTROVERTED PEOPLE

Veronica goes straight to the booze, too! she’s “so over this”! pregame Ronnie!!!

the Andrews have a cabinet in the corner apparently filled with vases

“…this is why we left the double-feature.” Betty just didn’t want to sit through Animal House

Betty’s heavy tan coat is straight from her mother’s closet

Archie is of course a sloppy-affectionate drunk, Jughead not impressed

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica’s tired, lovely “Feliz cumpleaños, Torombolo”

every single thing Cole Sprouse does to get across a prickly, nervous, irritated quiet person forced to go through the script of enjoying something they don’t enjoy: “Thanks, Veronica. Thanks, everyone. Oh, it’s Kevin.”

big hug from Kevin! “Happy birthday, bud!” THEY TALK

Jughead knows how to hug when he wants to hug someone, chooses not to deploy

what a nice handshake with Joaquin. how weird is Joaquin feeling at his gang leader’s son’s birthday party

blue and gold wall decorations

“Damn good coffee”: when the lights dim and Betty turns the corner with that fucking cake lighting up her face and huge blue eyes like she’s a fucking psychotic birthday-fairy and she sings “Happy Birthday” in a warbling tremolo like she’s Marilyn Monroe walking down a human gauntlet to present a hamburger cake to Jughead, who has never seen anything so beautiful or creepy in his life

Jughead is definitely thrown off-course of his misery cruise, for a split-second, by his girlfriend biting her lip, lit from below, handing him a birthday cake, loving him

“That was haunting, Betty” is maybe…..the greatest thing he has ever said…..

for the record, his “I wish it was just the two of us right now” is pointed, not romantic, and Betty knows it

Archie actually does acknowledge that his problems right now pale in comparison to Veronica’s problems, they sad-hug

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Jughead like cannot handle Veronica and Archie, on top of everything, pawing each other

Betty is sent from beyond the veil to be spectacular, but she should not be surprised that “this isn’t exactly your scene.” baby shower for someone else, good. birthday party for him, not good

IT’S ALREADY NOT INNER-CIRCLE ONLY

Cheryl walks through the front door like evil Aragorn. “Without moi?” there has never been a crashed party on a teen show before THIS MOMENT YEEEEEEESSSSSSS

God bless Moose: Moose has the kegs! Moose!!! bisexual Moose!

Jughead immediately flees to the garage with the dog, I have literally done this

I’m sorry, but is Dilton DJ-ing? I MISSED YOU, YOU CREEP

Joaquin’s face at Cheryl and Moose making out

@kevinkeller

“Dude, Valerie just got here. Do you think she wants me back?” ARCHIE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. THIS IS THE GREATEST ARCHIE YET

JUGHEAD DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT

Sixth period is Intro to Film: Jughead likes John Landis party movies, does not like Seth Rogen party movies

“It doesn’t matter, Jughead. You’re her boyfriend now.” “What does that mean?”

FP came!!!!! Betty invited him and he came! and wrapped a present very nicely, in “Happy Birthday” wrapping paper! dad points! he looks very sober!

I like to think Jughead and FP are doing a lot of nonverbal communicating in the garage, re: “I didn’t think you had this many friends”, “Is this a living nightmare?”

“How…dad…did Betty invite you?”

“She knows what she wants, that one.”

WHAT IS GOING ON with Kevin and Joaquin talking about Sweetwater River? it’s common knowledge that Kevin found Jason’s body there with Moose, right? so why does it seem like Joaquin is starting to feel some new information out? how are his eyes THAT BLUE? JOAQUIN?

FP STICKS AROUND TO TALK TO JOAQUIN AND INTERRUPTS HIM MAKING OUT, LIKE THE GRUNGIEST CHAPERONE EVER YYYYYYES!!!

“We’ve met. Kicked me out of the Whyte Wyrm.” “Good times.”

oh shit you know Veronica has never met Jughead’s father but she knows who extorted her mother!!!!!

Please protect Betty: God fucking bless Betty cleaning up the empty beer cans

CHUCK! is of course a Grade-A creep but he has never been righter that he saw some fucked, dope shit that night

she was like drowning him in boiling water, Jesus!

however NO ONE cares he isn’t getting into Notre Dame. no one cares CHUCK!

Betty’s slap sounds like it had some serious momentum behind it

Chuck is like, Let’s play ball BITCHES. YEEEEEEEEEEES!

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: OF COURSE FP and Joaquin decide to confab IN ARCHIE’S BEDROOM across the yard from BETTY’S BEDROOM, where Alice Cooper is literally using a pair of binoculars to look…..into the window……Riverdale……

she was okay letting the kegger play itself out as long as she could make sure Betty and Jughead weren’t having sex in Archie’s room

“Just doing my job, keeping my ear to the ground.” “And your tongue in the sheriff’s kid’s mouth.”

Jughead literally would have plonked down in the garage and sat there until the party burned out at three a.m. out of spite

THE GARAGE FIGHT. YES. YES. YES. THEY COULD ONLY GENTLY KISS FOR SO LONG. BETTY IS TOO TIGHTLY WOUND. JUGHEAD THINKS HE’S TRASH. BRING IT ON. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES.

Jughead definitely does the preciously-delicate self-proclaimed loner thing where you jealously guard your isolation and make a thing of it, but it’s FASCINATING that he doesn’t consider Kevin (THEY TALK) or Veronica a friend, or at least he SAYS he doesn’t think they’re friends, EH?

I like that the murder investigation and the Blue & Gold stuff has Jughead interacting with worlds of people beyond his usual circle of TWO PEOPLE

also, Jughead, “two months ago I would have actively shunned” them but now he doesn’t, so, this is how friendships…begin. he’s like…friends with these people now. it’s over. it’s happened. he can gripe about it, but they’re all FRIENDS now, YOU TWIT, THAT’S WHAT A FRIEND IS

the little thing he does with his hand when he pauses saying, “I don’t fit in, I don’t—want to fit in” is…genius

@fyeahriverdale

“You did this for you. To prove something.” she did! but you could discuss this calmly, Jug!!! you are going to make her cry!!!!!

Betty does not want to be called CRAZY or PERFECT for the rest of her life or she’ll rip out her own guts

Betty doesn’t think Jughead is a project! she has never asked him to take off his stupid hat! she thinks he’s cute! but he can’t separate the party she wanted to throw that he didn’t want from the party she didn’t want to throw that he didn’t want! HE’S ON A REALLY GOOD DESTRUCTIVE ROLL! JUGHEAD IS AN ANGSTY COCKTAIL OF PATIENCE, INITIATIVE, AND SELF-SABOTAGE! EVERYTHING IS EXPLODING! YES! YES!

he calls himself weird, damaged, godforsaken white trash, which is incredibly overdramatic and very sad and terrifically in-character. self-proclaimed weirdness is never that weird. he’s just a teenage boy and everything makes him uncomfortable and he kind of hates himself, the last of which he may not grow out of

in desperation Betty puts her hands to his face! this has always worked before! PLEASE JUGHEAD

Jughead doubts it: “Until you’re tired of slumming it with me? Or until Archie changes his mind and says he wants to be with you?” AAAAAAAA+++++++++

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: Betty dropping him like an unwanted extracurricular the instant Archie beckons her has been Jughead’s secret, neurotically nursed fear ever since she kissed him back

Betty already used her one designated slap for the evening otherwise Jughead would be getting it, and he knows it, as it stands her big spring flower Bambie eyes fill with tears

his excellent wince as she walks away, he knows he just fucking fucked it up

Archie’s trees have already been TP’d, damn!

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Archie IS a “hot mess” and should probably get a beer thrown into his face once most episodes

Cheryl could not be more thrilled at what she’s seeing! Melody is like, Why the fuck did we come here? Whose birthday?

Archie, incredibly, panics after he gets drenched and goes to his room and calls his dad

Jughead does not even have the RAM to devote to wondering why his father and Kevin’s boyfriend are standing together in Archie’s kitchen

aaaaawwwww Ethel tries to give Jughead a piece of his cake, he gives her a polite preoccupied “Hey, Ethel, I’ll see you at school,” AAAAAWWWWW SHE LIKES HIM

the Blossom corpse: Cheryl honestly manages to wrangle name-dropping Dead Jason at the party

she locks the front door like she’s Jason Isaacs outside of the church in The Patriot

Cheryl’s a psychopath: Cheryl’s game is literally just standing around discussing vicious gossip, THIS BITCH

the female gaze: there are three boys standing in the doorway by Jughead and their bulging, rippling arm muscles must be paused to be believed

Cheryl’s sheaths: Cheryl appears to be wearing a short velvet dress under her fur coat, and then excellent off-black hose and red pumps

oh you KNOW JUGHEAD DIDNOT KNOW VERONICA’S FATHER BOUGHT THAT DRIVE-IN

hahahahaha Cheryl bringing up the #RiverdaleRealEstateDrama to publically drag Veronica is so…ridiculous. like anybody else cares. except Jughead! and he can’t handle a single thing more!!!!! NOT A SINGLE THING

Joaquin and FP (WHO IS STILL THERE) execute some pretty quiet shifting at all the Hiram referencing

Veronica and truly everyone in the room knows more or less Cheryl did not kill Jason, so Ronnie honestly is just using her sharpest blade for the drama of it all

“THIS IS RIVETING. I CAN’T BREATHE.” I HAVE NEVER EMPATHIZED WITH A GAY HIGH SCHOOL BOY MORE

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WITNESSED AN INCEST ACCUSATION ON A TELEVISION SHOW THIS DAY I AM IN THE COMPANY OF A GOD

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: “This game is sick. I want to go next.” DILTON, YOU WERE WASTED ON THE ADVENTURE SCOUTS

CHUCK!’s deep Gus-on-Psych’s VW Bug-blue shirt is fantastic, fantastic

Dilton has been sitting on this Grundy connect-the-dots for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, like a snow leopard stalking its prey

These students are legally children: MARY KAY LETOURNEAU

Betty desperately throws Dilton under the bus

KEVIN IS ABOUT TO BITE HIS HANDS OFF

“You may get a free peep show every night, but you do not know her.” EW.

Ethel is sitting next to Jughead, willing herself to take his hand

“She dressed up like a hooker, in a godawful black wig…” SHAME ON CHUCK. she looked fabulous

Jughead is about to put his face through the glass window

Betty in distress is gorgeous, like 1930’s Norma Shearer about to cry

@veronicalodgn

CHUCK!’s incredible prescience that Betty under no circumstances would have told Jughead about that night: “But hey, you know all about this, right, Jughead?”

YES!!!!!!!!! JUGHEAD JUST PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE, YES!!!!!!

Jughead’s right hook is GOOD! his elbow is high, parallel to the floor, solid contact! and you know he has nice arms for being such a weed!!!!

FP is like (HE’S STILL THERE), God Jesus, my fucking kid

YES!!! CHUCK PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE TOO!!!!!!! CAN YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING

of course, when Chuck punches Jughead it’s with the force of like a thousand Dodge Challengers

FP has a lot of experience kicking drunk fucks out of his bar, high schoolers, manhandles Chuck out of Archie’s house with grace, dignity

when FP grabs Jughead by the lapels to stop him leaving, Jughead is honestly about to burst into tears: “What. Want to give me some advice on my right hook? I’m going to go hang myself. I ruined everything. Irreconcilable differences.”

FP calling Betty Jughead’s “girl” is very Southside, Kenickie

Certified pedigree: “Man up” is a stupid phrase, but FP is right, “She needs you,” Jughead listens to his father

the duality of FP Jones, SIDE ONE: The sheriff’s son is gay and you’re gay. Take one for the team and get in there. Am I clear? I will burn your car. Do you like him? I don’t give a fuck. Look at my face. SIDE TWO: She needs you. Be decent. Be stronger than me. Buy her a milkshake. The relationship you’ve never had. I love you.

ALICE IS FROM THE SOUTHSIDE? DID HAL COOPER STEAL ALICE FROM FP JONES, JR.? MY VENN DIAGRAM OF THE PARENTS’ RELATIONSHIPS IS GETTING VERY COMPLICATED

“dressing from the southside” must mean the leather, the plaids? Docs? Jughead’s Chucks?

Jughead’s song is “Uptown Girl” and simply, this is the way it is, it is “Uptown Girl”

“Still hot, Alice. Too bad you’re a stick in the mud.” FP, God. I love you. I fucking love you

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: Alice Cooper with no eye makeup and her hair rumpled, in a hastily-donned coat standing in the middle of the road is SMOKIN’

Jughead walked Betty to Pop’s for milkshakes and calmings-down after giving her the mother of all apologies, the apology of his life

I can’t explain why Jughead is sitting with his head cocked back, showing off his throat, the severe angle of his Adam’s apple, the cut under his eye highlighting his cheekbone, his hair pomaded into a curl along his temple, like a greaser after a bar fight, his arm around his cheerleader girlfriend who loves him despite him telling her he’s no good for her, I can only sacrifice this pair of doves so that it might happen again

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: his hat is off and suddenly he’s like, Juggggheaadddd, which much like…thicker g’s

Jughead hurt and rejected Jughead on imaginary-Betty’s behalf tonight, only played himself

the pink lighting in this diner really brings out the pinks of Betty and Jughead’s pouty cupid’s bow mouths, Jughead’s blossoming black eye, the pair of them have never looked better

you can’t tell me Jughead didn’t get inwardly, guiltily a little bit excited when Betty said she had a “darkness” inside her

the biggest scare between them was never if Jughead would stab himself in the eyes if he got a birthday party but rather what if it turns out Betty is too frightening for him

the emotional porn of the diner make-up scene is truly something else, finally the climax of a slow-burn: the pretty, bloodied-up boy, emotionally raw; the most beautiful sparrow-winged-eyelashes Betty, her well-meaning heart cracked open like a brittle eggshell; Jughead’s hair is so black it’s almost purple; Betty still wearing her totemically evocative sweater; there are no more secrets, Jughead doesn’t care about the pool, there’s a waltz playing on the loudspeakers, Betty confesses that she’s scared of herself, Jughead doesn’t look away from her. and then, in the most tender gesture of affection EVER ON EARTH, Jughead gathers Betty’s tiny needlepoint fingers and scabbed-over palms in his huge working-class, bring-the-straw-in-for-the-harvest hands and, making sure she’s watching him, never having looked more like River Phoenix plus James Dean, kisses them

@dailycwriverdale

nbd but Alice told Betty not to trust Jughead with everything and Betty still ended up showing him the physical manifestation of the crack in her perfection facade and he wordlessly accepted all of it

so they’re both weirdos, but not really that weird at all. they’re just sixteen and everything is life or death. but Betty really does hurt herself, and Jughead kisses her hands, her mess is his mess. they are cellularly, DNA-level compatible

also fucking exhausted. Betty kisses him (IT’S A REALLY GOOD KISS) and their foreheads touch (this hallowed trope) and she snuggles up to his shoulder, but like a going-limp snuggle, and he holds her, and they both just fucking sit there quietly for a few minutes, Jesus Christ

@jonesbetts

Archie & Veronica’s “I’m messed up”/“We all are” is their “We’re all crazy,” of course next they kiss, they’re gorgeous

is Archie really messed up “less than most”? he’s just EARNEST and calls his dad a lot instead of digging his fingernails into his palms, dousing people with syrup, writing creative nonfiction

Veronica is so cool she wears a ring on her middle finger

their kiss is TIGHT and I think they actually have sex!

Archie took the floor!!! a gentleman!!!!!

not enough column inches to devote to Veronica’s incredible cinched cropped top

Veronica descending the stairs to see Jughead reading at an armchair, the pair of them surprising each other, and their mutual goofy smiles, she got laid but good, PLEASES ME to no end, she’s your friend you idiot

Smithers repping for Hermione is why you’re always polite to those in the service industry, because you never know

Veronica used a CLASSIC run-around telling her mom she was at Betty’s. but why would she need to lie about going to a party? Hermione would certainly have heard worse from her

Jughead’s “Long night’s journey into day?” at Archie hungover and mopping is his second Eugene O’Neill reference

Archie > Dawson: Archie is hungover AND mopping

Archie coughing and cleaning up the mess before his dad gets home is a return to the best kind of Archie: a hot mess that wants to be good

Jughead eats: Jughead had a burger at his side at Pop’s in the opening montage, but this morning he’s eating his birthday cake at the island, drinking directly from a quart of skim milk

ONCE AGAIN the Andrews kitchen pulls through: the island has a drawer underneath it for dishes! did Fred build all this cute shit himself? SO cute

“Jug…” “Don’t worry. I’m never telling anyone anything literally ever.” [drinks from quart, pinky up]

…except for the book he’s writing

Betty wakes up hungover looking like Grace Coddington styled her

@shelleyhenign

…she sleeps with a stuffed cat, #Caramel

Alice is putting together some major moves with all the FP-Joaquin-Kevin dots-connecting

Betty drinks decaf skim lattes! Betty drinks skim too!!! for the record skim lattes are a tough sell because the lack of like fat or whatever means it’s thin as hell, so now I just get 2% caramels like normal people because there’s going to be an earthquake soon and Portland will fall into the sea and I want to have died drinking rich lattes

Betty giggles like an angel after her “The last time you brought me baked goods was after you kissed Archie”

Veronica is all caught up on the Jones/Lodge backstory now, right? in past days, I would have relished the fallout of Jughead discovering that it was Veronica’s family who kicked him out of his drive-in, but now I just want these children to have a quiet day at school, and the way they smiled at each other seems to suggest Jughead is past begrudging most anyone anything anymore (literally ever), and he and Veronica can continue their upward trajectory of “BEING FRIENDS”

Veronica joining the B&G investigation is Cordelia Chase discovering Doyle passed his visions along to her

HIRAM DARED SEND HIS DAUGHTER ANOTHER STRAND OF PEARLS, POSSIBLY TO HIS KNOWLEDGE THAT VERONICA RIPPED UP THE FIRST ONE

ARCHIE GOT HIS RED HAIR FROM HIS MOTHER

HIS MOTHER IS MOLLY RINGWALD I’M EXHAUSTED

next week: I thought the mannequins in the Blossom closet were Jason wigs!!!!! but then there’s a white-haired Cliff Blossom looking at himself in a full-length mirror, so they’re wigs for him. Hermione knows he wears wigs! AND SKEET ULRICH HAS SHAVED!!!!!