#the fic has like toshi being near the edge of a roof and feeling like he's going to fall and die if no one stops him even tho he's sitting
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my ass was wondering why the fic felt so relatable and then I Realized
#tw past suicidal thoughts and shit. PAST I AM OK just rambling#the fic has like toshi being near the edge of a roof and feeling like he's going to fall and die if no one stops him even tho he's sitting#and holding on the safety rakl#and like it took me so long to figure out (that kind of feeling is in a lot of the fics I read. I AM Fine /gen#) but like once when I was very deep in the Not Okay zone I felt exactly like that#but not on a roof I was in my room in my bed and I felt like if no one stopped me I was going to kill myself w/ pills#and like. /rationally/ no I wasn't. I did not. and anyways the pills wouldn't have killed me. but I was so sure of myself#and it was terrifying and oof#I think there's only like 2 times where I really went into complete irrationality and wasn't thinking straight at all and this is the first#time#(second time I thought i was dead. oof)#anyways. again. me fine now. I'll go back to reading my fic. Toshi fine too btw lmao
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