#the empress' personal bodyguard's name is “silly little guy”

[russianyoshkinaneko]

it's still funny to me that the guy whose name is "crow" is expected to be (and is treated as) a killer/assassin/murderer. i now how a flock is called "murder of crows" and the general associations with death and such but

have you seen crows?

in real life?

here's what they're like irl:

they are silly little creatures who dig in trash and hop around for fun.

it's more believable to me that Corvo was double-jumping all around Hound Pits Pub and playing with Emily than him being anywhere near ominous, with a name like that. the skull mask just makes him edgy but in a silly way.

what i'm getting at is. Piero's "talk" button opens up his shop, so technically you can make him talk only by staying in his field of view long enough. but standing like a statue is boring. so i'm gonna treat Corvo jumping & crouching in front of Piero until he talks as canon. and also that gif where he mask-off ""zooms"" with his hands. and him barging in on Calista for lols (he could've used that Dark Vision magic power instead but nah lmao). and him signing the ledger at the Boyles with his real name, also for lols.

[theskyexists]

empress ki

are these koreans gonna go as far as to let this man fall for who he thinks is just some young cool guy?

i mean - they’re not chinese so

this is kinda silly lol. if she really wanted to be let go she could have just punched him. i guess that would have gone too far

this RANDOM assassin almost kills them - he disappears. we good. no worries.

where are her own men????

NOOOOO don’t ruin it

why the fuck would she have developed a feminine slap? i think theyre gonna ruin it. like contact with a male love interest will just forcibly feminise you

ok no she came up with an excuse

god - an openhanded slap from another man lol i can see how that might be quite offensive

she just chills in the crown prince’s bath no prob lol. ok so she locked the door

she just let herself get fuckin shot for this lol

this episode moves super fast but thats fun but i still don’t know how the king and the crown prince are related. the whole hostage thing really messed things up

i just realised that i love the bro/bro mlm stuff if its actually m/f. LOL.and I KNOW it’s going to only last one fuckin episode bc we’re gonna go right back to misgyny and chattel slavery especially for women but yknow

does she remember him?? did she send the bandana? i dont know on which side she really is.

yeah ofc shes the bandana guy. i mean - DUH.

WHY RISK YOUR OWN MEN - WHAT WAS THE PLAN

is this spy gonna get her bandana now???

or are these not her own guys?? THEY ARE

is she playing the king?? like - im still trustworthy though!!!! (or at least my men are) but how could she think to rely on the crown prince???

oh no the cool big sword moustache guy!!! why would he be the spy for the king????????????? what is there to gain??????? HE’S NOT THANK GOD

YES!!!! I LOVE THEM. ‘hit me’ BAM *violently and romantically perches over him to almost stab him*

aww haha the king is attached to seung nyang. too bad you’re an evil bastard she wants to destroy

i can’t quite tell why revealing the salt location drop off point is important or not. i guess it was just and only a test.

was that the guy in blue who volunteered to be shot at? : ‘( ah it’s not.its just some nobody. I guess she couldn’t have known who knew of her blue bandana so she had to hide it. But couldn’t she have told this guy from the very beginning when they were alone?

did the official guard not get told that more people were coming???? LOL. that’s one fuckin mess

HEROIC HORSERIDING YEAAAAAAAA did she not think of a reason for being alive? ‘kill me’ OH MY GOD hahahahaa. smart but so risky (it turns out that the crown prince is the crown prince but the king is the brother of his dad’s)

is there something you want? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MONEY oh my god this guy is gambling it all lol. oh no, he’s gonna make it too.

it’s always the ‘unrightful’ people that get villainised for wanting power

what the fuck her dad’s gonna kill all her friends and make her into a sex slave? jezus christ how dark (i read a synopsis that she gets sent to yuan after all somehow). on who’s fucking authority? couldn’t they have gotten at the very least a letter from the goddamn ‘auditor’ to protect them

oh my god. just wear your fucking ring on the outside of your goddamn clothes. that was so FUCKING close

wow that was a pretty realistic breakdown

GO SEE HIM HELLO!!!!

she became a fucking COP TO SEE HIM HOLY SHIT LOL

JUST SHOW HIM THE FUCKING RING

did she just leave her band of boys behind???

dude why is this series romance blocking me what the fuck

gotta show that Yuan is backward through furs and beads!!

i do love that this series had the guts to start off with heartbreak. but also to let the female protagonist be a big bi....amorous...?

this show somehow made me feel sympathetic towards a stinkin imperial rich kid. he didn’t ask to be born into a family that would become his death

‘young boy’ *is literally at least 40*

the KING has only 10 men to spare? really?

he’s gonna let his servant get fucking murdered in his stead? yikes. ok so that wasn’t his PLAN no. poor servant guy

so they got her a MATCH - a dirven and smart and powerful king. and a soft and unexperienced and endangered future emperor.

this is so much my fucking THING it’s insane. i don’t even mind that the king is kinda ...average looking.

and she kicks his ASS LOL. and he falls ultimately deeply in love with her. this is incredible.

i wonder if she’s going to hold the death of his servant against him

they didn’t even take his head? stupid. oh i guess that’s for the traitors.

SHE STILL DOESN’T GET ITS REALLY HIM. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART

really - she lets the fucking chief get the credit. are you fucking kidding me? fuck this. be smarter! hate having to say that to a character. Be! smarter!

now he gets to be WHY HIDE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FUCK. if this is gonna be the whole fuckign show i can’t take it.

im gonna need to know if she keeps fucking hiding. stop hiding! STOP. stop hiding from the important men in your life! what the FUCK. stop hiding from your dad. Stop HIDING FROM YOUR FUCKING BESTO BOYFRIEND

the prince isn’t even upset about his servant’s demise

fucking finally somebody found out seung nyang was the ONE

I love Strong King - I love vulnerable future Emperor

he’s just a stupid indoctrinated kid! somebody should explain to him all the horrors that have been done to people in his name!

we have a sequence in which she’s done great deeds, gets called in, is concerned about how she slapped the important person around lol

we’re gonna get teh exact same for Togon one day

jezus christ that’s a very romantic thing to say to a cool and heroic young guy who saved your skin twice, king. are you - i n l o v e? a lil bromance perhaps?

awww he’s so damn happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

she’s like - fuck. wish she stayed a little more ruffian though. wheres the fucking swagger!

how am i so into this m/m ship. LOL. im really into this stronk man and rogueish ‘boy’ bonding through hardship crisis crossing all rank

im up for her teaching the prince compassion and horror and the way of the world though

I KNOW this is soon going to devolve into a palace drama though so that fucking sucks

why is the emperor a young guy and the brother an old guy. was the emperor the preferred son? from the preferred wife?

has she never heard a guy pee??? i thought she lived with soldiers and shit

why the fuck is she carrying his excrement to the sea when she’s his BODYGUARD. this went differently than i thought

he literally is alone. there is no shift of the guard with him. hello?

what the fuck is this lax bodyguard shit. you need at LEAST two so one can sleep while the other guards.

everytime she bathes im like - ALARM ALARM

this jimbo traitor is so stupid lol

commander - just approach this stupid idiot. be the dad you want to be.

you could just become his son!!! hello????

so you really care about the peoplle huhg? thats why you keep selling off women?

oh my god. is the prince also falling in love with this ‘boy’? who embodies the masculine ideal? GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH im gonna cry when this is over and she ends up a fucking maid

this romantic fucking epic music as they struggle in a petty fucking competition in teh surf jlsjLKFJSDLJ:FLDSF I LOVE THIS

SHE VIOLENTLY PERCHES ABOVE THIS GUY TOO. ROMANTIC MUSIC

the koreans KNOW what is good. THEY KNOW.

oh this poor guy. please let this guy meet poor people. like. idk. the stolen women made into slaves and shit

yeah yeah they bond without him knowing about losing a parent and wanting revenge

the king is like, MY BOY!! that’s MY boy!! hands off!!!! that’s my dearest bromance boy friend!!!!

oh no - shes going to have to choose who to ride with lol

oh nooooooooo Seung Nyang don’t hurt King boyfriend !

‘he will not take Seung Nyang, will he?’  i had to double take there

I FINALLY understand the appeal of all unassailable men in romance. god, my brain is weird.

give seung nyang to me. dsjfpawejfeawjfljsdkljldsjflkdfsa dude. no. i know this is a love triangle but it is just within good if they do THIS moment right

the prince is a horrible shit

nooooo seung nyang please don’t hurt the king!!! he loves you!!!!

‘why am i burning up inside?’ YOU LOVE HIM!! YOU LOVE SEUNG NYANG!!! you love this guy!!! the koreans are daring lil mfs

where is the ruffian guy with the moustache and big sword?? he was the king’s left hand man when he wasn’t king yet.

the actress has really feminised Seung Nyangs mannerisms and way of movement past few eps (oh it’s a dream)

oh my god they’re no-homo-ing this through a dream. he just FEELS like Seung Nyang is a woman!!! that’s why he’s attracted!!! lol

seung nyang loses her dad. prince doesn’t notice. jezus

he impressed some dudewith his self-righteous dragon heaven propaganda. goddddd. the prince truly does not care how many people have already died for him. WHEN will he become likeable instead of hilariously piteous

just absolutely devastating end scene. shitty k-pop outtro.o hgod

will the prince finally - through seung nyang realise that actaully it fucking sucks that people keep being horribly harmed and killed for his sake?

JEZUS CHRIST I AM ON EPISODE 5 wHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE 60 episodes long. oh my god no.

the thing i like about this show is that she looks believably like a very feminine boy for korean standards.

they keep playing him as childish, selfish and incompetent. but like, soooo many people DIED FOR HIM

hwo didn’t they kill bayan for obviously killing their own guard lol

finally she confronts him with the regular people!!!

what is lord jang doing with them

wow the commander’s beard is long. they been going for a while

well he is suffering - but can’t she get to him through words. make him a better person?

he is asking an important question. ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT

thsi ‘warming’ is so ridiculous haahahaha

*has full view of covered breasts* ‘he is definitely a boy!!!!’

i don’t know what sexuality politics this is - probably very bad ones - if you’re a straight man then you’re attracted to some fundamental femaleness in women!! or something

why is a bite mark evidence

god - these powerful people have enormous egos. they must, it is bred in them.i deserve power and when it is taken from me it sucks so much i can’t breathe!!! well uh yeah - everybody feels that way you ain’t special

she looks so sick

feels empathy for the first time ever. what a wonderful fantasy. that somebody could teach a prince empathy

*goes into town completely uncovered in royal robes which haven’t been weathered at all* ok

‘why did you hide you are a woman?’ what COMPLETE AND UTTER MALE NONSENSE

WOMEN ARE GETTING DRAGGED OFF TO BE SEX SLAVES AND YOU ASK THAT??? ��sure, im sure you had your reasons’

WHAT FUCKING IDIOT

53:50

so she gets him in and then he betrays her? lol. but does it really matter? the king won’t be tried, there’s no reason for goryeo to be annexed. seung nyang won’t die. etc. he might as well go back to his deadly golden cage without endangering himself.

is it for her dad that she asks this of him? he faints, eh that’s a fine way out.

cant she hug a king back when he hugs her????? come ON

he almost killed his fucking son. these people are so CRAAAYYYZY

*leaves the people most likely to turn on him behind with the prince*

why does he have to reveal this?? what are the stakes here??”

goryeo’s soldiers???????????? what the fuck. i thought he was gonna come up with something clever like - pirates or something. not just ‘oh it was a random weirdo band of soldiers’ no -  ‘under the orders of the king’

WHAT. hes throwing teh whole country to the wolves. if seung nyang doesn’t kill him ill be surprised. seung nyang better get him for this for a thousand fucking years.

so he’s even personally betraying seung nyang. for a tiny chance at power. damn. wow. damn wow.

jezus what a fucking way to leave your daughter! making your last exchange putting yourself down as a father. DUDE. could have ended shit in a better way!

anyway literally cried twice about her losing her dad already

anyway so they both die in her arms. great.

yeaaaaaaah swearing to kill him. good. too bad it’s gonna be like 50 eps of palace maid shit and the prince barely got a taste of poverty

really wonder how traumatising this whole - is revealed as a woman and transferred to the empire as a sex slave thing is going to be - for me i mean

‘he’s probably living well in his homeland’  - how could you trust that your orders will be followed???

this is completely unrealistic wow

doesnt she get a fucking horse

who the fuck was park bhu - the undercop?

oh apparently laughing ugly is an indication of evil for a woman. laughing maniacally is an indication of evil for a man

her archnemesis is gonna unmask her as a woman in public? i think i might have to quit this show at this exact moment.

aaand.....guess ill have to quit.

ok that wasn’t so bad

how did they have women’s silks and makeup with them

she’s literally a martial artist warrior and she can’t fight a rapist attacker with her hands free?

oh god. she’s gonna be all feminine now bc she looks like a girl. oh god. i feel kinda sick.

SHE SUDDENLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY BANGS ANYMORE BUT LONG HAIR

THAT COMB WAS MAGICAL

some classic ‘female body weak’ sexism. love getting that from the beau

i know they’re trying to make danashiri seem unsympathetic but she’s saying fuck you to sexism here. then again it’s because she’s a spoiled elite brat

they really are made for each other

holy shit. this series just goes on and on and on and on and on. i can’t do this.

[coldcomputersoul]

Marco vs. the Forces of Love Episode 9: Do I Wanna Know?

Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Star helps Marco to hide from Tom by taking him to her secret place. Meanwhile, Hekapoo’s job at the Magic High Commision gets complicated.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:

© Daron Nefcy

© Disney Television Animation

[theme song]

ACT I

[The episode starts with Mrs. Diaz going upstairs to Marco’s room]

Mrs. Díaz:

[opening the door] Oh Marco: It’s time to wake up, as you know that early to bed and early to rise makes a dude healthy and...

[She sees Marco and the girls sleeping together in the same bed and gets shocked]

Marco:

[yawning] Mom, don’t you think it’s a little too early for… [he realizes that his mother caught him] Oh, crap… Alright, listen mom: It’s not what it looks like, I-I-I can explain it to you...

[Mrs. Diaz is too shocked to listen to her son so she stands still at the door completely silent]

Star:

[waking up] Marco, what’s all that noise? don’t you see I’m trying to… [she also realizes that they were caught] sleep… oh boy...

[In that moment, the rest of the girls wake up]

Jackie:

[yawning] Good morning guys, did you have a good sleep? because I… [she becomes aware of the situation] Oh… Uhm, good morning Mrs. D you… you have a lovely home I must say he-he…

Janna:

Well, this is awkward...

Hekapoo:

Yeah, perhaps we should have thought this through before…

[Mr. Diaz enters the room to see what’s going on]

Mr. Díaz:

Honey, what’s taking you so long? the breakfast is ready and… [he notices Marco and the girls] Oh no… [he tries to get a reaction from his wife] Honey? Are you okay? please talk to me...

Marco:

Dad, you don’t understand… There’s this demon guy that...

Mr. Díaz:

[holding his wife’s hand] Marco, please… we’re on the middle of a crisis here...

Marco:

But Dad, I’m just trying to explain...

Mr. Díaz:

Don’t… say another word please. We can discuss this later in therapy.

Marco:

But this is not my fault, I...

Mr. Díaz:

Marco!!! PLEASE... don’t insist. This is not the right time, okay? [grabs his wife’s arm] come on Angie, I’ll make you an iced tea...

[Mr. Diaz takes his wife downstairs. Marco hides his face under a pillow and lies down on the bed]

Marco:

[sigh] Great job Marco Diaz. You’ve really done it this time. Now we’re gonna have to go to therapy… again...

Star:

Marco, I don’t really know what to say. I think I speak for everyone when I say: We’re SO sorry...

Marco:

No no no, don’t apologize Star. None of this is your fault. I’m the one who let all this to happen and… I guess now I’m gonna have to live with it...

Jackie:

Listen Marco, if there’s anything we can do to help you, don’t be afraid to tell us.

Marco:

That’s a very nice gesture Jackie, but… this is something I gotta make it on my own.

Jackie:

Oh, don’t worry, we understand perfectly. Right girls?

Star:

Uhm, sure...

Janna:

Yeah, no problem.

Hekapoo:

After all, we don’t wanna get in the way between you and your personal problems...

Marco:

[looking down] Thank you for understanding...

[The girls get worried about Marco and try to cheer him up]

Hekapoo:

Hey, I’ve got an idea: Next time we can make the sleepover on my dimension.

Jackie:

Great idea Hekapoo, it will be the perfect opportunity for us to… know each other a little bit better. What do you think Marco?

Marco:

[uninterested] Yeah, whatever you say...

Star:

[grabbing Marco’s shoulder] Then it’s settled: Next time we’ll have a sleepover at Hekapoo’s house. I can’t wait for it...

Janna:

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Marco:

[uninterested] Yeah sure...

[Cut to Marco walking to school with his hands on his pockets followed by Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo. Star tries to break the ice and starts a conversation]

Star:

You know, last night I had this really strange dream where we were remembering things while commenting on them like some kind of recap...

Jackie:

No way: I had the exact same dream.

Janna:

I remember that Star got angry because we made some jokes at her expense...

Hekapoo:

...that was when you told us about that time you and and Star went to buy some drinks at the store...

Jackie:

...and Star got distracted with the fluorescent lights. Yeah I remember that too.

Star:

[sigh] Would you please cut it out? I know that I get easily distracted, you don’t have to shove it on my face every single time, sheesh...

Jackie:

Star, relax. We’re not judging you in any way...

Janna:

Yeah, don’t get so serious about it.

Hekapoo:

Nonetheless: Don’t you think it’s a bit weird that we all had the exact same dream at the exact same time?

Star:

Indeed, that’s something you don’t see every day. What do you think Marco? 

Marco:

I don’t know. I’m feeling way too overwhelmed to come up with an answer... 

Jackie:

Okay Marco, we all know that you’re not in the best mood right now, but come on, lighten up. 

Janna:

I agree with Jackie: stop being so grumpy. Do you think you’re the first guy who got caught by their parents doing something embarrassing? don’t be silly...

Marco:

[sigh] It’s not that I don’t appreciate your efforts to cheer me up, but right now I feel like I have all this weight over my shoulders between Tom, my parents… I just can’t take it anymore...

Jackie:

[holding Marco’s hand] But Marco: That’s where you’re getting it wrong. You’re trying to deal with all these problems all by yourself. We want to help you, but we can’t do anything if you keep pushing us away. Am I right girls?

Janna:

Indeed...

Hekapoo:

Absolutely...

Star:

I couldn’t said it better myself... 

Jackie:

You see Marco? We understand how hard it must have been for you to adapt to all these changes, but don’t forget that you’re not alone. [she kisses Marco on the cheek] Now come on, let me see that smile...

[Marco smiles as he sees Jackie’s calm expression]

Marco:

Thanks Jackie: You always know how to make me feel better...

Jackie:

It’s what I do... [winks at him]

Star:

AND... [grabs Marco’s arm] don’t forget that you also have me to cheer you up...

Janna:

And I’ve got your back whenever you want... 

Hekapoo:

If there’s anything you need, just give me call and I’ll be there for you...

[unbeknownst to Marco and the girls, Ludo is watching them hidden behind a bush]

Marco:

Girls, girls, It’s fine. I know you’re trying to help me, but I don’t want you to sacrifice your personal lives just for me. For example: Hekapoo, you have your job at the Magic High Commission.

Hekapoo:

Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ve already asked someone to cover my shift.

Marco:

[raising an eyebrow] You do?

Hekapoo:

Of course I do you silly human. I’m always prepared for situations like this.

Marco:

I’m glad to hear that, because I wouldn’t like to get in the way between your job and...

[Before he can finish that sentence, Hekapo’s phone starts beeping]

Hekapoo:

Excuse me Marco, but I’ve gotta take this...

Marco:

Uhm, sure… no problem.

[Hekapoo picks up the phone and answers it]

Hekapoo:

What is it Rhombulus? [gibberish sounds] You what?!!! [gibberish sounds] And what the hell are you doing there in the first place?!!! That’s not your job... [gibberish sounds] Yeah, I know that today is the deadline, but I specifically told you that I would take care of it… [gibberish sounds] Well, I don’t care if it was the Pixie Empress who asked you to advance the delivery date. She perfectly knows that right now we’re on the middle of a crisis and we have our hands tied… [gibberish sounds] Alright, alright, stop being such a crybaby. I’ll be there in a minute just… hold on right there, okay? [gibberish sounds] Relax, I’m not gonna report you… for now. [hangs up the phone]

Marco:

Is everything okay?

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Yeah, it’s okay. Rhombulus just made a big mess that I’m gonna have to fix. What else is new?

Marco:

Is there anything I can do to help you, or...

Hekapoo:

No, no, no, don’t bother Marco. I know exactly what to do, but I have to go right now… [she opens a portal]

Marco:

Well, in that case, good luck with that.

Hekapoo:

Thanks... [kisses Marco on the cheek] oh, and before I go… [she sends a photo using her phone] now, check out your phone...

[Marco checks his phone and sees a picture of Hekapoo lying on her bed wearing black lingerie, which makes him blush. This also somehow annoys Star]

Marco:

Uhhhhhh...

Hekapoo:

You can thank me later for that one. [winks at him] See ya...

[She enters the portal and leaves. Meanwhile, Janna takes Marco’s phone while he’s distracted]

Janna:

Let me see that...

Marco:

Janna!!!

Janna:

[watching the picture] Wow, talking about the right angle. I don’t think those legs can spread even further, right Marco?

Marco:

[taking the phone back] Give me that.

Jackie:

Uhm, I don’t want to interrupt you guys, but… We’re gonna be late for school.

Marco:

You’re right. Come on girls, let’s go.

Janna:

Whatever you say loverboy.

[Cut to Ludo watching Marco and the girls walking away]

Ludo:

Finally, this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for… now it’s time to...

[He sees a dog growling at him]

Ludo:

Hey, calm down buddy. I don’t want no trouble with...

[The dog starts barking as he comes out from his hiding spot]

Ludo:

Okay, you asked for it: LEVITATO!!!

[Ludo uses his magic powers to make the dog float like a balloon]

Ludo:

Ugh, I hate the creatures from this dimension. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, [ehem] now it’s time to put my plan... [close up of Ludo’s eyes] into action.

[Cut to Marco and the girls walking in the school hallways. Star watches for danger at every corner while the rest of them just stare at her]

Marco:

Uhm Star, can I talk to you for a moment?

Star:

Not now Marco, I need to be sure we’re in a safe spot.

Marco:

Yeah, I get it. What I’m trying to say is that you could be just a little bit more subtle.

Star:

No problem Marco. Subtle is my middle name...

Janna:

Really?

Star:

Nope.

Marco:

The thing is: There’s no need for you to act like a full time bodyguard just because Tom is now after me. If something strange happens, we can contact each other by phone. Simple as that.

Star:

But Marco, don’t you get it? At this point, he must already intervened our phone lines. The only thing we can do to guarantee your safety is to remain as close as possible.

Marco:

Okay fair enough, but what if someone starts to suspect that we...

Star:

LOOK OUT!!!

[Star, Jackie and Janna hug Marco at the same time]

Jackie:

What did you see?

Star:

Oh, nevermind. It’s just a moth flying around. My bad.

Marco:

Uhm, Girls?

Star, Jackie & Janna:

Yes Marco?

Marco:

Would you be so kind to let me go? remember: [whispering] We’re in a public place.

Star:

[changing her face expression] Ohhhhhh…

Marco:

Yeah, you got the idea. Now hurry up before someone finds out that...

Brittney:

[o.s] In the name of all that’s good and decent, what are you guys doing?!!!

[The camera shows that Brittney is watching them with her arms crossed. Soon, the rest of the students are watching them as well]

Marco:

[deadpan] Aaaand... my social life is finally over.

Brittney:

Ugh, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.

Janna:

It depends: What do you think we’re doing?

Brittney:

It looks like you’re about to make out in front of everyone. Disgusting.

Marco:

Brittney, this is all a huge misunderstanding...

Star:

Yeah, we were just protecting Marco from my evil ex-boyfriend who wants to... kidnap him, or something like that...

Brittney:

[sarcastic tone] That’s a nice story. Very believable.

Star:

[whispering] We’re in luck Marco. She totally bought it.

Marco:

[deadpan] She’s being sarcastic Star...

Star:

Really? Aw man...

[The girls let Marco go while more students gather around them]

Brittney:

People: THIS is the kind of behaviour that’s getting our country right in the gutter. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Janna:

Uhm excuse me, but have you ever heard about this little thing called “free love”? You judgemental prick...

Brittney:

Ugh, now you sound like a filthy hippie. That’s the kind of nonsense I would expect from someone like Jackie, but I thought you were smarter than that.

[Meanwhile, everyone around talks about the situation while Marco stares at the floor, embarrassed. In that moment, Ferguson and Alfonzo show up]

Ferguson:

What’s going on here?

Brittney:

What’s going on? I’ll tell you what’s going on: Your perverted friend right here is having a four way with Star, Jackie and Janna like it’s no big deal.

Ferguson:

[to Marco] YOU WHAT?!!!

Marco:

Ehem, before jumping into conclusions, I wanna make absolutely clear that none of this was my idea.

Brittney:

Knock it off Marco, not even my senile grandma would believe that.

Jackie:

[stepping up] He’s telling the truth Brittney. I was the one who allowed this to happen. [everyone gasps in surprise] If you have to blame anyone, that should be me.

Marco:

Jackie...

Jackie:

Don’t worry Marco, I got your back.

Ferguson:

[to Marco] Wow, wow, wow, slow down. Let me get this straight: You’re dating THREE girls at the same time… and they’re all okay with it?!!!

Marco:

Uhm, dating it’s not the term I would use, but...

Janna:

Actually: We’re four.

Ferguson & Alfonzo:

FOUR?!!!

Janna:

Yep. Unfortunately, she’s too busy with her work to be right here, but… here’s a picture of her.

[She takes Marco’s cell phone from his pocket and shows the photo to Alfonzo and Ferguson]

Ferguson:

Holy guacamole… she’s SO hot!!!

Alfonzo:

She’s like an RPG character, but in real life.

Janna:

I know right? and that’s not even the half of it.

Marco:

Janna, what are you doing?!!! You’re gonna get me into more trouble.

Janna:

Trust me, I know what I’m doing. [winks at him] 

Brittney:

I just can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. You’re actually encouraging this kind of behaviour?!!! You all make me sick to my stomach.

Janna:

And what exactly makes you so high and mighty? I mean, it’s not like someone is forcing us to be in this relationship. You’re just too closed-minded to understand our love.

Brittney:

But it’s unnatural!!!

Janna:

Is it Brittney? Or maybe you and your outdated viewpoints can’t accept the fact that we chose an alternative lifestyle so you want to shut us down. Yeah, real mature...

Brittney:

Don’t try to make me look like the bad guy Janna, it’s not gonna work this time. Everyone knows that I’m 100% right.

Janna:

Well, in that case: [close up to Janna’s face] Let’s ask what everyone think about this...

[The camera makes a long shot of the crowd before cutting to black]

ACT II

Brittney:

[crossing her arms] You gotta be kidding me...

Janna:

What’s the matter Brittney? Are you afraid to debate me?

Brittney:

Give me a break... No one with half a brain would support your crazy ideas. Just give up, you’re just wasting your time.

Janna:

Pfft, what a wuss. You just don’t want to debate because you know you’re gonna lose.

Brittney:

Ugh, there’s NOTHING to debate about!!! What you’re doing is disgusting and that’s it. End of story.

[Everyone around start talking while Brittney stares at Janna]

Star:

[to Janna] Okay, this is getting out of control, maybe it’s time to go to plan B.

Marco:

Plan B?!!! There’s no such thing as Plan B, don’t you get it? it’s all over. 

Janna:

[getting nervous] Marco, what did I just tell you? Let me handle this.

Brittney:

Yeah, perhaps you should listen to Marco and accept defeat Janna. You’re making a fool of yourself.

Janna:

What, because I stand up for friends? When was the last time you did something nice for someone other than yourself? or for that matter: When was the last time you did something for this school? and don’t start with the “my daddy makes donations” routine. That doesn’t count.

[The crowd is now talking about Brittney]

Brittney:

Well… I’m the cheerleading captain. I’m responsible to lead our team to victory.

Janna:

Oh sure, because that “booty shaking” strategy from last year was soooo effective.

Brittney:

And what’s your point?

Janna:

My point is: You should leave us alone and mind your own business.

[The crowd start taking again, so Janna decides to confront them]

Janna:

And as for all of you: How could you be so ungrateful to even consider to condemn Marco after all the things he has done for us? If it weren’t for him we wouldn’t beat Silver Hill’s swimming record at the presidential fitness test. The least you can do is to give him the benefit of the doubt.

[The crowd quickly agree with Janna’s point which makes Brittney upset]

Janna:

Besides, who wouldn’t want to date a guy like Marco? I mean, think about it: He’s kind, intelligent, athletic, not to mention very handsome too. What’s not to love?

Star:

Don’t forget he’s an excellent cook as well.

Jackie:

And knows karate...

[The crowd once again agree with Janna and the girls]

Janna:

Also… [seductive tone] that’s not the only good thing about Marco.

Sabrina:

[approaching Janna] What do you mean?

Janna:

Well, if you really wanna know...

[Janna whispers in Sabrina’s ear and she just gasps in shock]

Sabrina:

NO… WAY...

Janna:

Oh yeah, it’s true. [winks at her]

Marco:

Wait a minute: What did you tell her?

Sabrina:

Do you mind if I post what you told me on social media?

Janna:

Be my guest.

Marco:

Janna!!!

[Sabrina uses her phone to post a message on the internet. Then all the girls check out her phones and react to it]

Hope:

Oh my...

Leah:

This is just too good to be true...

Chelsea:

I know right?

StarFan13:

Marco is SO hot...

Ingrid:

[speaking in russian] I would love to be her bride.

Linda:

What a pro...

Chantal:

And does he really can last for THREE hours straight? 

Janna:

That’s not even the half of it.

Raya:

Is it true that he also has a huge…? uhm, you know...

Janna:

Now, that’s a very personal question… but the answer is yes.

[All the girls (except for Brittney) gather around Marco]

StarFan13:

Hey Marco, can I watch you and Star making out?

Leah:

You know, I’ve always kinda liked you...

Hope:

Do you think we can go out on a date one of these days? If you don’t mind of course...

Chantal:

Here’s my phone number. Just in case you wanna have a good time... [winks at him]

Sabrina:

I wanna know what it’s like to to be with Marco... 

[Alfonzo and Ferguson also gather around to talk with Marco]

Ferguson:

Dude, you gotta tell us your secret.

Alfonzo:

Yeah, what can we do to get chicks? please tell us...

Marco:

Guys, guys, please… I know you want me to help you to improve your romantic life, but to be honest: I’m just as clueless as you are.

[Meanwhile, Brittney gets mad as she watches all the girls flirting with Marco]

Brittney:

Well, I don’t care how allegedly good you are in bed, or how allegedly huge your… thing is… You’re still a loser to me Marco Diaz...

[beat]

Janna:

[smiling] Mmmm, Sure… [air quotes] “Allegedly”

[Star, Jackie and Janna laugh at Brittney’s comment. Soon everyone else starts laughing too which annoys Brittney]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder...

[Cut to Marco and the girls having a picnic at the park]

Janna:

...and then she said: “you’re still a loser to me Marco Diaz”, that’s when everybody just laughed at her. I’ll never forget the look on her face, so funny...

Hekapoo:

Wow, that Brittney sounds like a total jerk...

Janna:

Yeah, but to be fair: it’s not her fault to be like that. When you’re rich and powerful you can become a jerk without even noticing. Right Star?

Star:

Tell me about it. I don’t wanna sound rude or anything, but there are certain people at my family’s inner circle that I just can’t stand because they’re SO obnoxious.

Marco:

I think you went WAY too far this time Janna...

Janna:

What are you talking about?

Marco:

You know, thanks to you, everyone thinks that I’m womanizer. Now I’ll have to live with that label for the rest of my life...

Janna:

That may be true, but look at the bright side: Now you have a group of female admirers. Isn’t that the dream of every teenage boy?

Marco:

But it’s already difficult for me to take care of all of you, and don’t get me wrong: I think you’re all wonderful, but… [sigh] I’m so exhausted. Perhaps it’s time to settle things right and take a decision.

Jackie:

That’s... very manly on your part. I hope you the best on your choice.

Hekapoo:

And just to be perfectly clear: Whatever decision you make, you’ll have my total support.

Janna:

Really? Too bad, cause I was starting to enjoy this, but it’s your decision so I won’t get in the way.

Star:

Neither do I, after all we’re still gonna be friends, right?

Jackie:

Sure...

Janna:

Of course...

Hekapoo:

Absolutely...

[awkward silence]

Marco:

Okay, no more beating around the bush, it’s time to decide: Uhm… I choose...

[In that moment, Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping]

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Can you hold on just a moment? [answers the phone] What do you want this time? [gibberish sounds] The royal library? [gibberish sounds] Yeah… [gibberish sounds] Oh, and the bookshelves just fell down without any explanation, right… [gibberish sounds] Do you have any idea how long it’s gonna take to restore the whole place? [gibberish sounds] Even if you use magic, it would take at least FOUR months of work to put it all back together… [gibberish sounds] Are you crazy? that’s not even in the budget!!! [gibberish sounds] And where the hell are we supposed to get a loan for that you moron? Don’t you think the current debt we’re holding is already bad enough?!!! [gibberish sounds] Look, just stay right there and don’t do anything. I’ll fix the problem all by myself... [gibberish sounds] That condescending tone it’s not gonna work this time. We’re gonna talk about this on our next meeting… [gibberish sounds] Look, I’m just gonna hang up, this is getting ridiculous... [hangs up the phone] I’m sorry Marco, but I have to...

Marco:

No, no, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for doing your job.

Hekapoo:

I know, but I just can’t help but feeling guilty for making you delay your decision.

Marco:

Don’t worry about that. I can... wait a little bit longer.

Hekapoo:

You’re so considerate. Let me give you a quick kiss...

[Just when she’s about to kiss Marco. Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping again]

Hekapoo:

[groaning loudly] That IDIOT!!! Sorry, but I have to go right now...

[She opens a portal and quickly leaves]

Marco:

Poor Hekapoo. Her work at the Magic High Commision must be so hard.

Jackie:

And did you notice how stressed she looked? 

Janna:

Indeed, she was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

Star:

That’s pretty bad, but… I’m pretty sure she can handle it. I mean, come on: She’s been doing this for more than 700 years.

Marco:

I guess you’re right.

Star:

Besides, we have to take care of other problems, like: What are we gonna do with Marco’s parents?

Marco:

Oh right. I completely forgot about my parents.

Jackie:

So, what are you gonna do?

Marco:

Well, one thing’s for sure: I can’t go back to my house right now. It would be so awkward to be face to face with them. Can I stay with one of you just for a week?

Janna:

Sorry Marco, but I can’t invite you to my place. It’s being fumigated. Also, we’re staying at my grandparents house and… let’s just say they don’t take too kindly the visit from strangers. 

Jackie:

No problem: you can stay at my place as long as you want. I’ll let you use the guest room.

Marco:

Oh thank you, thank you Jackie. It means a lot to me...

Star:

WAIT, YOU CAN’T!!!

[Everyone pays attention to Star and she immediately calms down]

Star:

I-I Mean… I know the perfect place where you can hide, so it would better for you to… stay with me...

Marco:

Are you sure about that? How are we gonna explain to your parents what’s going on?

Star:

That’s the thing: I’m not gonna take you to the castle. I’m talking about my secret hideout.

Marco:

Wait… this whole time you had a secret hideout?

Star:

Well duh, every princess in royal training have one. What are you ten years old?

Janna:

Did anybody else besides you knows about your secret place?

Star:

Well, there’s Princess Pony Head, but I swear: Absolutely no one else knows about it. Not even Tom.

Marco:

I don’t know Star. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but... I just don’t trust in princess Pony Head. I better stay at Jackie’s place.

Star:

B-But Marco, what about your personal safety? Like… right now, you’re being chased by Tom and… don’t you think it would be better if you stay with someone who knows how to use magic? just in case he finds out where you are.

Marco:

Mmmm… that makes a lot sense.

Star:

Yeah, and don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against you staying with Jackie, it’s just that she’s a bit… mmmm… how can I say it without being rude?

Janna:

Useless?

Star:

Yeah, that’s it. Jackie is useless for this situation. I’m sorry Jackie, but this is a magic emergency and...  I don’t think you could handle it properly.

Jackie:

[awkward expression] Uhm, sure none taken. I can... see your point.

Star:

Oh, I’m so glad that you understand. You know that in any other situation I would let you have Marco, I-I-I mean… take him to your place.

Jackie:

Yeah, don’t sweat it.

Star:

Great, [grabs Marco’s arm] come on Marco, I can’t wait to show you my room... 

Marco:

But wait, I have to go for my toothbrush.

Star:

Don’t worry, you can borrow mine.

Marco:

That doesn’t sound very hygienic...

[Star uses Marco’s scissors to open a portal]

Star:

Well, I guess we’ll see you on another time. Bye.

Marco:

Take care...

[Jackie and Janna watch Marco and Star leave through the portal]

Jackie:

[looking concerned] You don’t really think I’m useless, do you?

Janna:

[sigh] Look, if you think what I said was too harsh, I apologize, it wasn’t my intention, but...

Jackie:

But...?

Janna:

Star actually made a fair point. Right now Marco’s life is on the line and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s the only one who can protect him from that deranged demon dude...

Jackie:

I can understand that, it’s just that… I feel so powerless right now because I can’t do anything to help Marco. I wish I could be like Star.

Janna:

I know how you feel, and believe me: I would do anything to help Marco to overcome this problem, but in the end, we’re just a couple of average girls. The only thing we can do is give him our support. 

Jackie:

Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m gonna have to learn to live with it.

Janna:

Well, in that case: welcome to the club. [gives her a pat on the back]

Jackie:

Thanks Janna.

Janna:

You’re welcome, and now if you excuse me: I have to go home before my parents ground me for being 5 minutes after curfew. See ya...

[Janna gets on her bike and leaves. Jackie just stares at the ground looking disappointed. Cut to Marco and Star arriving at some isolated place in the middle of nowhere]

Marco:

Okay, where are we now?

Star:

Outside the limits of Mewni. This part of the country is so isolated that you can’t even find it on the maps, isn’t that great? 

Marco:

I guess, but I can’t see anything. Are you sure we’re in the right place? 

Star:

Marco: I was born and raised on this dimension. I know exactly what I’m doing, okay? Now, follow me. I’ll take you to my secret place.

[Marco follows Star who just keeps walking in straight line for two hours]

Marco:

How long till we get there?

Star:

[looking at a rock] That’s odd. I don’t remember that rock. Maybe we should have go northwest...

Marco:

WHAT?!!! You mean we’re lost?!!!

Star:

Marco, don’t be silly. We’re not lost. I just need to remember we are we supposed to go.

Marco:

Well, now that’s just great. We’re in the middle of nowhere without any direction whatsoever. I’ll just use the scissors to get us out of here...

Star:

Wait, now I remember: We were supposed to go east. That’s why I can’t recognize any of this... 

Marco:

Oh, so now it turns out that we were walking in the opposite direction this whole time.

Star:

I know… crazy, isn’t it?

Marco:

[sigh] Now we’re never gonna make it before sundown.

Star:

Hey, what’s with that pessimistic attitude? Don’t worry Marco, I’ll get us out of here in no time...

[Star uses her wand to summon cloudy]

Star:

Ta-Da...

Marco:

[deadpan] And you didn’t summon cloudy 2 hours ago because...

Star:

[changing her expression] Oh… Maybe I should’ve thought of that before.

Marco:

[deadpan] Yep, you definitely should.

[Cut to Marco and Star arriving at a small grey tower in the middle of nowhere]

Star:

...and we’re finally here. Marco, I present to you: My secret spot. What do you think?

Marco:

It looks kinda dull, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad, but… It just doesn’t resemble anything from Mewni.

Star:

That’s the idea. I mean, who would imagine that this seemingly abandoned tower actually belongs to the princess of Mewni?

Marco:

That makes sense.

Star:

Yeah, and if that’s not enough. The tower uses a special magic force field that makes it look like it’s abandoned, but if you use the right spell… [raises her wand] DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!!

[The force field disappears and the tower becomes bright and colorful]

Marco:

[impressed] Wow, it’s beautiful.

Star:

Thanks. I made the decorations all by myself. Follow me this way...

[Marco follows Star inside the tower. Cut to Marco and Star walking through the darkness]

Star:

[clapping her hands] Lights on...

[The tower magically illuminates while the camera pans the entire room. There’s a king-sized poster of Love Sentence hanging on the wall, a jukebox full of Love Sentence bootlegs, a giant TV screen with microphones to sing karaoke, a photo booth and a lot of games]

Marco:

This place is so… AWESOME!!! So many games and there’s a karaoke and… look at this thing [pointing at the jukebox] just when I thought I would never see one of these again in my life. The only thing this place needs to be perfect is… [the camera shows a Love Sentence themed arcade] THE LOVE SENTENCE ARCADE GAME: AWESOME FEELING?!!! but only 5 of these were made and most of them are in Japan.

Star:

Let’s just say I have my contacts.

Marco:

[with hearts on his eyes] Star, I can’t feel my legs.

Star:

Oh, too bad. Because I was about to invite you to LOVE SENTENCE’S NEXT CONCERT!!!

[Star pulls three tickets to see Love Sentence out of her pocket]

Star:

Can you spell: Front row seats?

Marco:

Star: You’re the best.

Star:

I know. But enough about me... let’s get busy.

Marco:

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Star:

I guess so...

Marco & Star:

It’s KARAOKE TIME!!!

MONTAGE:

-Marco and Star sing karaoke songs while dancing to the music.

-Marco and Star play twister. Marco loses the game, but they laugh about it anyway.

-Marco and Star play in the arcade. Star asks for one more chance after losing twice in a row.

-Marco and Star have a pillow fight using Love Sentence themed pillows.

-Marco and Star have fun in the photo booth while cosplaying as the members of Love Sentence.

-Marco and Star watch some old Love Sentence concerts while eating ice cream.

[Cut to Marco and Star rolling on the floor laughing]

Marco:

Oh man, I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun

Star:

Yeah, me neither. We really need to do this more often.

Marco:

You know, it’s been a long time since we hang out together, like… just the two of us.

Star:

Hey, you’re right, I never thought about that before, but it makes me glad that we can still have fun together like in the good old days. 

Marco:

Remember when you use your magic to freeze time because you were afraid of getting late to school? 

Star:

And we goof around for a while until I decided to gets things back to normal, but it didn’t work so we had to go to that weird time dimension? Yeah, I remember that... and how about that time you taught  me how to ride a bike, but I was keep asking you to hold my seat...  

Marco:

Yeah, and I had to chase you all the way to the highway. Yeah, how can I forget that?

Star:

We’ve been through a lot together and here we are: Having a good time together. Maybe Starco is not as platonic as I thought after all... 

Marco:

You know, that little nickname you use to refer to our thing: It’s not as clever as you think it is...

Star:

Yeah, I know...

Marco:

So, what do you wanna do now? Play some more games? Have another pillow fight? Watch another Love Sentence concert?

Star:

Nah, I think I had enough games and songs for today.

Marco:

So, what do you have in mind?

Star:

I’m glad you asked. Follow me...

[Star takes Marco upstairs to her room, which has a giant bed full of stuffed animals and more Love Sentence posters hanging on the walls]

Marco:

Well, this looks nice...

Star:

And I haven’t showed you the best part yet… [raises her wand]

Marco:

Have you considered to make your next sleepover right here. I mean, this place is big enough to have at least 20...

[Marco turns around and sees Star wearing a blue tight dress along with high heels that accentuates her figure. Marco just blushes as he watches Star getting close to him]

Star:

Yeah, that sounds good and all, but I think having a secret place is far more romantic, don’t you think Marco?

Marco:

Uhhhhhh...

Star:

Well, what are you waiting for? We both know I didn’t bring you here just to play checkers. Here, let me show you how to do it...

[Star puts her arms around Marco.. he reciprocates and gives her a passionate kiss while grabbing her waist]

ACT III

Star:

[thinking to herself] Okay Star, this is your chance. Don’t screw it up.

[Star throws Marco onto the bed and gets on top of him]

Marco:

Star, don’t you think we’re moving too fast?

Star:

What are you talking about? We’ve already done this before.

Marco:

Yeah, but… I was hoping that today I could… you know… take a time off from doing this...

Star:

But that’s exactly what we’re doing right now, or is it because... you don’t want me?

Marco:

What? No, that’s not it. Of course I want you...

Star:

Then what are we waiting for? Let’s get down to business… [she tries to kiss Marco]

Marco:

But Star...

Star:

What now?

Marco:

It’s just that… Uhm… I… [sigh] nevermind...

Star:

You know, you’re acting very strange lately, but don’t worry: I know how can I fix it. [whispers in Marco’s ear] now, pull down my zipper.

Marco:

[looking uncomfortable] Okay...

[Marco starts pulling down the zipper from Star’s dress, when suddenly...]

Hekapoo:

[o.s] Enjoying the evening your royal highness?

[Marco and Star turn their heads and see Hekapoo in front of them with her arms crossed]

Star:

[getting out of bed] Hekapoo?!!! What are you doing here? And how did you find my secret spot?

Hekapoo:

Princess, I’ve been around for more than 700 years. I know this land like the back of my hand...

Star:

And how did you manage to get through my magic force field?

Hekapoo:

Oh please. I’ve using that spell long before you were even born, but enough about that: Just what do you think you’re doing right now? 

Star:

Uhm, we’re in the middle of something here, so… why don’t you go back to mind your own business?

Hekapoo:

And let you have Marco so you can take advantage? ah-ah. No way...

Marco:

It’s alright Hekapoo. We were just about to stop anyway, so...

Star:

Well, this is a new low for you. First you kidnap Marco for 16 years, and now you’re stalking him like a complete pervert. So do yourself a favor and stop being so petty.

Hekapoo:

Mmmm… Seems like you know about being petty, considering that slim bath you gave me three weeks ago at the Bounce Lounge, your majesty... 

Marco:

Okay Hekapoo, we all know about that awful incident and we all agree that was a dumb mistake that will never happen ever again. Right Star?

Star:

I know exactly what’s going on? You’re just jealous because Marco prefers to be with me and you just wanna get in OUR way.

Marco:

Or, simply don’t listen to anything I have to say.

Hekapoo:

Jealous, huh? Seems like you know all about that...

Star:

And what is that supposed to mean?!!!

Hekapoo:

As if you don’t what I’m talking about... [shows her cleavage]

Star:

Watch your words Hekapoo. Don’t forget who are you dealing with...

[Marco watches both girls fighting over him while trying to figure out a solution]

Hekapoo:

Unbelievable. It’s like you can’t wait to become queen to boss me around all day long. You’re so petty.

Marco:

[raising his hand] Can I say something?

Star:

Well, I’m least I’m not a cocktease.

Hekapoo:

Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something princess bitter-fly: I’d rather be a cocktease, than be a  phony, cynical, spoiled daddy’s girl who treats their boyfriends like merchandise.

Star:

[raising her wand] I’ll show you merchandise...

[Marco gets in between to stop the fight]

Marco:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. How many times do you have to tear each other apart over me? Don’t I have the right to choose?

[The girls stop fighting and stare at each other in silence]

Hekapoo:

You know what? You’re right Marco. There’s no point to start another pointless fight. Just tell us which one of us do you want to be your girlfriend.

Star:

Yeah, I agree. Come on Marco, tell this backstabbing boyfriend stealer to screw off...

Marco:

Uhm… yeah, I was about to get into that...

Hekapoo:

No, don’t do that Marco. Choose me and I’ll give you the sweet love of a woman...

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Oh boy, now I messed up big time...

Star:

Ha! You’re just wasting your time. Marco is WAY too smart to fall into that game of yours. Am I right Marco?

Marco:

Well I...

Hekapoo:

Oh, okay... so answer me this: What's with that skimpy outfit you’re wearing right now? because I don’t see any party near around this area. Do you Marco?

Marco:

Please, do not involve me into this...

Star:

Say what you want about the dress, but you can’t deny the fact that Marco loves to see me wearing it. [makes some poses for Marco] Do you like this, don’t you baby?

Hekapoo:

And then you say I’m the cocktease.

Star:

[getting angry] EXCUSE ME?!!!

[Both girls get into a heated argument while Marco puts a pillow over his face out of frustration]

Star:

You see what you did? Everything was okay until you came to ruin our fun.

Hekapoo:

Forcing someone to do things he doesn’t want it’s not exactly my idea of fun, and I’m pretty sure Marco would agree with me on that.

Star:

Oh, shut up you... Slut!!!

Hekapoo:

Brat!!!

[They aggressively stare at each other until Hekapoo’s phone starts beeping once again which makes her groan in annoyance]

Hekapoo:

[answering the phone] This better be good Rhombulus… [gibberish sounds] You what?!!!

[Her expression quickly changes from angry to concerned]

Hekapoo:

Okay, just... slow down and tell me exactly what happened… [gibberish sounds] Aha... [gibberish sounds] yeah… [gibberish sounds] and the crystal is fine, right? [gibberish sounds] You’re kidding me… [gibberish sounds] Hold on, are you telling me you’re holding the Espercrystal with your bare hands?!!! Are you crazy?!!! [gibberish sounds] No, I don’t wanna hear your excuses. You know perfectly well that you can’t mess around with that thing!!! [gibberish sounds] Okay look, I’m on my way, so keep hanging there and please, PLEASE don’t let the crystal touch the ground, otherwise the consequences would be catastrophic... [gibberish sounds] [sigh] Yeah, whatever… [hangs up the phone] Okay, I’m leaving for now, but don’t even think that this conversation is over… to be continued.

[She opens a portal and leaves]

Star:

Well, I’m glad that’s over… Now, where were we? Oh yeah, you were about to pull down my zipper...

Marco:

Uhm, Star? Don’t you think there are other things to be worried about? Like that crystal thing Hekapoo mentioned just a moment ago...

Star:

Oh, forget about that. She can handle it. Now kiss me wildman...

[Star tries to kiss Marco, but he turns down her affections]

Marco:

Stop that!!! Seriously… just… Okay, that’s it...

[Marco gets fed up with Star’s unwanted affections, so he throws her to the bed]

Star:

What’s wrong? You wanna do it with me, or not?

Marco:

Ugh, I can’t believe how shallow you’re acting right now. The whole universe as we know it might be at risk of disappearing, and the only thing you care about is to have sex with me. Keep your priorities straight...

Star:

You know, I don’t understand why are you making such a big deal out of this. I told you she can handle it. It’s her job for crying out loud.

Marco:

That’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that you’ve been acting strange lately, like... First, you take me to this isolated place to play games and sing karaoke, and then out of the blue you lure me into your room and force me to have sex with you. Is this your idea of fun? Am I just a joke to you?

Star:

Well, excuse for trying to give you a nice surprise. I thought boys liked this kind of approach. 

Marco:

I didn’t ask for any of this. I just wanted to spend some time with you without having to take off your clothes. You know: Like in the old days?!!!

Star:

Oh, so you’re admitting that you only want me as your friend, aren’t you?

Marco:

[sigh] That’s not what I meant. Stop putting words in my mouth!!!

Star:

[getting angry] So then what is it Marco?!!! What do I have to do to get your love?!!!

[In that moment, Star breaks into tears and turns her back on Marco]

Marco:

Star, I...

Star:

Go away!!! I don’t wanna hear another word from you...

[Marco gets worried about Star so he sits next to her to talk, but she tries to avoid eye contact]

Marco:

Star, I know that you’re mad at me and you have all the right to feel like that and all, but… I can’t help but think you’re missing the point of this relationship, you see: I don’t hang out with you because I only want to get into your pants, I hang out with you because I like you as a person, as a human being…

Star:

[sobbing] And what about the other girls?

Marco:

Although I do have feelings for them as well, the thing is: You and I have something more intimate. We’re like soulmates, “the other half” of each other. And that kind of connection goes beyond any sexual desire you can possibly imagine...

Star:

Am I that important to you?

Marco:

[grabbing her shoulder] Of course you are Star. Don’t doubt it for a second...

[Star looks at Marco’s candid expression and smiles while he wipes the tears from her face]

Star:

Thank Marco. You always know how to make me feel better.

Marco:

Hey, you don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends are for.

Star:

Yeah, about that… Can I ask you something?

Marco:

Sure, what is it?

Star:

[blushing] Have you... considered the possibility to become more than friends with me? I mean, we know each other for quite some time and... I always thought you were kinda cute...

Marco:

[blushing] Star...

Star:

[standing up] And it’s not like I wanna get in between you and... the person you’ll choose as your girlfriend, but… I want to think about my own happiness as well. That’s why I’m trying so hard to get your attention. You must think that I’m pathetic.

[Marco smiles as he watches Star opening herself to him, so he stands up and gives her a hug]

Marco:

You know I would never think of something like that. I care about you and I want you to be as happy as possible no matter what.

Star:

[blushing] I know that you do.

Marco:

And yes Star: I did consider the idea of you and I as a couple, but I was too confused and scared to make a proper decision...

Star:

Marco...

Marco:

But now that I know I can trust you, there’s no doubt in my mind anymore… I choose you.

[Tears of joy fall from Star’s eyes as she hears it]

Star:

[smiling] I’ve always dreamed about this moment ever since I met you. I promise that I will not let you down and I’ll do my best to be the best girlfriend you can possibly imagine.

Marco:

That’s all I needed to hear for now… I love you Star.

Star:

I love you too Marco.

[Marco gives Star a passionate kiss as he starts pulling down the zipper of her dress. Cut to the Magic High Commision having an emergency meeting with Queen Butterfly. Rhombulus is sitting in the corner looking at the wall as this happens]

Omnitraxus:

You wanted to see us, your majesty?

Queen Butterfly:

Yes Omnitraxus, please take a seat.

[Everyone except Rhombulus sits down on the table]

Queen Butterfly:

Okay, the first thing I want to address on this meeting is regarding our current magic crisis and how are gonna deal with it. As you know, the empress of Pixtopia recently stated her kingdom’s withdrawal from our historical trade, which will result in a massive shutdown of all our sources of interdimensional communication within the next few months. We have to come up with an alternative solution.

Omnitraxus:

I know, what about we buy tramorfidian crystals to Quest Buy in exchange of approve that safe harbor protection act to protect their business?

Hekapoo:

That’s not gonna work, I just went there last week and they told me they don’t have enough crystals to maintain the entire kingdom. Also, their staff recently unionized, so right now they’re not in position to make any big decision.

Omnitraxus:

Okay, and what about the Lucitors? Last time I checked they had plenty of magic energy we could use as a backup.

Queen Butterfly:

I thought the same thing, but our relationship with the Lucitors is very delicate since we relegate their domain to the underworld. If we ask them for a favor, we’re at risk of losing half of our territory in the best case scenario.

Rhombulus:

[raising his hand] Can I say something?

Hekapoo:

Shut up. Don’t forget you’re grounded for almost destroying the entire universe.

Rhombulus:

But it wasn’t my fault...

Queen Butterfly:

From what I see it, now we only have two choices: Either we declare state of emergency and risk to lose more approval, or we keep on relying on the Espercrystal to backup our line servers until the next magic convention which will be in 6 months.

Hekapoo:

But Queen Moon, the Espercrystal is too unstable to work with. It requires someone with a lot of experience and attention to detail to extract the right amount of power, and Rhombulus is just too clumsy to do it...

Rhombulus:

Hey...

Hekapoo:

Shut up.

Queen Butterfly:

That’s why I want YOU do it Hekapoo.

Hekapoo:

Me?!!!

Queen Butterfly:

That’s right. I know I promised you vacations from the next 2 months, but we need you right here. The fate of Mewni is in your hands.

Hekapoo:

Yeah, I understand, but what about my actual work? I told you can’t clone myself anymore.

Queen Butterfly:

I’ll hire a crew to help you with that. The thing is: You’re the most qualified person to do this. 

Hekapoo:

[sigh] I guess you’re right. I’ll do it.

Queen Butterfly:

Good, so we all agree that Hekapoo will take care of the magic crisis. In that case, the meeting is over.

Hekapoo:

[looking disappointed] Whatever, [whispering] goodbye to my free time with Marco.

Queen Butterfly:

Don’t be sad. You’re making a really important sacrifice and you’ll be compensated for this. Now, come on, let’s go to the cafeteria. Today’s lunch is on me.

Rhombulus:

Can I go too?

Hekapoo:

No, you have at least 3 more weeks of punishment left, so no lunch for you.

Rhombulus:

Oh, tartar sauce...

[Everyone except Rhombulus leave the room to have lunch. In that moment, a portal opens and Star shows up bringing a backpack with her]

Rhombulus:

What took you so long?

Star:

I had some important things to take care of, but anyway... [opens the backpack] Here’s my PS4 with all my favorite games, a music player with the entire Love Sentence discography plus B-sides and rarities, and bag full of nachos.

Rhombulus:

Thank Star. It means a lot to me and all but… I must say: The fact that you paid me to mess things up on purpose to maintain Hekapoo busy with work is... kind of a dick move. even for you.

Star:

Well, since I don’t have a dick, I don’t know what you mean by that, but thanks for your help.

Rhombulus:

You’re welcome…

MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 9: DO I WANNA KNOW?

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2sFXBy9

Crime boss. Mexican Kim Kardashian. Empress of Los Antrax with Sinaloa cartel ties. Owner of a pink and gold plated AK47. Claudia Felix has been called all of these, though to be fair, she has vehemently denied being connected to the cartel and calls all such accusations that she is the world’s hottest crime boss “cowardly lies and slander.” If you’re to believe the rumors, she’s a combination of Scarface and Glamour magazine rolled in one. It’s hard to believe that a mafia leader would look more like a glamazon than a hardened gangster yet the accusations pour in about the social media star who is followed by many across sites like Twitter and Facebook. Her ocean of fans adore her for her beauty, seemingly unabashed personality, likeness to Kim Kardashian and of course, her prowess for all things automatic weapon. It’s obvious that society has a certain obsession with rebels. And to look at a photo of Claudia Felix casually seated near a glass of wine looking calm without a care in the world as two masked gun-toting men surround her, she’s more of a rebel without a cause than James Dean. Her love of posting selfies keeps fans coming back for more as they can’t get enough of the twenty-seven-year-old Mexico native. Whether you choose to believe she is a badass crime boss or just a sexy babe with a flair for flashy guns, here are fifteen photos of the often-alleged though always-denied world’s sexiest crime boss.

#1 The Standard Car Selfie The SCS is as good a place as any to start this list. Because what girl’s social media account isn’t complete without a few dozen in-the-car selfies topped off with a semi-sultry hint of a secret smile? But Claudia manages to go over the top and look extra glam with long glossy locks, super shiny red-pink lipstick, and oversized sunnies. Not a hair out of place, eyebrows on point and an overall look that says you’re too fabulous to even care. Yep, that’s how you nail the in-the-car selfie. Red interior, bonus points. We can only imagine what kind of luxury envy-producing car she is behind the wheel of.

#2 Not-So-Standard Car Selfie The only thing cooler than effortlessly nailing the standard car selfie? Levelling up with a custom made pink and black decorated AK-47 as your very special passenger. Why do we love car selfies so much? Maybe because it’s a chance for people to see us in one of the places we spend so much of our day. Our cars always say something about us; from a hula girl on the dash or our favorite kind of gum strewn on the seat. Most girls like to take photos of their favorite morning fuel coffee blend, adorable puppy on the way to the park or even their BFF next to them in the car. Not Claudia, who shows off her little friend (not so little, though) on the passenger seat looking every bit the part of a Hello Kitty meets Grand Theft Auto custom accessory and bringing an entirely new meaning to the term “shotgun.” You gotta admit— the girl’s got style.

#3 Bikini Shot Most girls want that perfect bikini/bathing suit shot to add to their social media album. Most girls also would probably want as many likes as Claudia gets for her bikini photos. Here, she shows off a pink cutout bathing suit with a frilly top complete with a perfect pout for the camera. She’s got the pose down pat and the eyes say it all, “I know I’ve got superstar quality.” It’s photos like these in her social media account that keep her fans and followers coming back for more. Girls love them for the fashion/glamorous/beauty factor and guys love them well… because of the obvious. This suit is cute and classy while showing off her curves but also leaving much to the imagination.

#4 Not Your Average Wine Bar To be honest, we don’t know if this is a wine bar or Claudia’s living room but we’ll go with a wine bar that comes with a set of very dedicated bouncers. Like, extremely dedicated. Claudia’s face looks so nonchalant, every bit the part of someone who’s just got done reading a good book or watching a light romantic comedy or eating a nice lunch, maybe. We’re pretty sure that most of us would look extremely freaked out if two men stood armed to the teeth near us, but perhaps those are her personal bodyguards who act more like teddy bears than the stone cold assassins they look like? Not to mention she’s cradling a shiny gun in her lap as if it’s a handbag. This is the ultimate female crime boss pic. Um, girl power?

#5 Literally Rolling In The Dough If you happen to be a film buff, this photo may dredge up memories of Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal or Katie Holmes and crew in Mad Money. For you 90s cartoon fans, maybe Scrooge McDuck swan diving into his vault of gold in Ducktales is more appropriate. But this is no movie. This is a real life shot reportedly from Miss Felix’s social media accounts of a true blue full on cash bath. And those are no $1 bills either. Oh no. High denomination all the way. For what is fantasy for the majority of us, here it appears this is just another day of rolling in an insane amount of cold hard cash on the bed. You know, no big deal.

#6 Welcome To The Gun Show It’s been said not to mess with a man and his gun. With the photos that Claudia posts, it seems that she may be rewriting that quote. Whether it’s a custom job of pink and black, gold-plated or basic badass black, it’s clear that Claudia Felix loves her automatic weapons. On her social media platforms, she’s often seen in photos with her bevy of AK-47s at what appear to be makeshift firing ranges or open fields. No matter the custom color or how pretty the gun is or whether she’s dressed casually to hit the gym or more dressed up in a tight black outfit, we think that the message is pretty darn clear: don’t mess with this girl.

#7 Impromptu Kiss Sometimes kisses are more fun when they’re just because! An impromptu kiss can make any day better whether it’s date night or just relaxing near the water. We’re not sure if this kiss caught on camera was planned or spontaneous and a photo taker just happened to be there at the right moment but either way, it’s a pretty cool shot as the “kissee” looks pretty pleased with himself and does not seem to be complaining in the least. Claudia passionately puckers up for the smooch while wearing a salmon-colored cropped strapless top and multi-colored short shorts. For extra amore, Claudia pulls her pecking partner closer to her and runs her free hand through her long hair.

#8 Brunette Ambition We’re sensing some major brunette ambition based on some of Claudia Felix’s posted social media photos. Many of her photos seem as if they were taken on the set of some mob movie. But this is no movie as Claudia is seen expertly looking into the scope of her rifle. It appears she has just hopped out of the car wearing a casual outfit and styled hair and felt the need to grab her rifle and make a, um, business decision? Or maybe she just realized what a great photo opportunity this would be and didn’t want to see it pass by. Yeah, we’ll go with that. In the other photo, Claudia is seen wearing a super sexy little black dress with a statement necklace as she looks down at her ultimate accessory. Her gun is shinier than her necklace! One thing is crystal clear— Claudia knows how to bring on the bling.

#9 Wardrobe Adjustments Ah, the ongoing battle of the sexy skin tight romper. This surefire traffic-stopping outfit is meant for curvaceous gals and leaves its wearers in an unusual and rather ironic predicament. Pull it up then you have to tug it down and vice versa, it never ends. But if you’ve got the body to rock it, it’s worth the hassle. Claudia certainly does and shows off her curves in this clinging animal print number as you can see from the paparazzi-style photo. She completed the super sexy outfit with several matching black and white bracelets and her signature oversized black sunglasses and doesn’t seem to mind that she’s been caught on camera giving her outfit a necessary little adjustment tug.

#10 Rebel Woman Okay, so we’ve seen photos of Claudia all dolled up, glammed out and beautified but here are some showing her pure badass, girls-are-just-as-tough, don’t-mess-with-me side. In these photos, Claudia shows us that spikes, shiny jackets and very scary looking automatic weapons can be just as feminine, depending on who’s behind them, of course. Whether it’s a camo-colored or painted specially to match her outfit, Claudia rocks the rifles as any tough-as-nails lady would. Again, her level of comfort around these guns is more than most of us would be able to stand. These photos show that Claudia has a serious side but even when she gets down to business, she still likes to keep it spicy in a low-cut cleavage revealing jacket and high-heeled boots that practically scream that she means business… ya know, if the guns don’t say it first.

#11 Guns And Glitz Guns, glitz, a glamorous lifestyle and gorgeous looks. These four things are what Claudia Felix’s fans are drawn to like moths to a flame. We already know that Claudia is able to appear cool under circumstances that would certainly unravel most others, but it still comes as somewhat of a surprise to see a woman in a silvery twist dress holding a gold-plated assault rifle in her lap as casually and comfortably as if she’s holding an adorable beloved puppy. Her hands, complete with a red polish manicure, look right at home resting on the custom AK-47. The way she shows off this obviously beloved rifle looks something out of an ad— for gold-plated assault rifles.

#12 The Duck Face Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for a while or have emerged from a deep hibernation and have missed out on trends sweeping Instagram accounts far and wide, we’ll fill you in. The “duck face” is a silly name for a selfie trend which has gone rampant like wild fire all over social media. This photographic fad occurs when a girl goes for a sexy pout by pursing her lips and, almost always, sucks in her cheeks a little as well. Sometimes, the duck face pose is further exaggerated with sad puppy dog eyes and the lips turned down as if in a frown as well but here, Claudia keeps it light and classy with just a classic kissy face showing her lipsticked-pout and perfectly made up face. This playful pose is almost always done in the car for fun on the go.

#13 Incommunicado Whether life’s going perfectly or not, sometimes, a girl’s just gotta take a break. Breaks are almost always better spent relaxing at the pool. Submerged in H20 from head to toe, Claudia lets her long dark hair fan out behind her as she floats in another fashionable cutout bathing suit this time, accessorized with oversized sunglasses and a girly necklace, red nail polish with matching red lipstick. The photographer catches her in a perfect moment of watery bliss. It’s obvious that she doesn’t have a care in the world as she allows the pool to relax any troubles away. We bet that most people wish they could look this effortlessly put together and coordinated while happily floating face up in a pool.

#14 Balcony Babe Balcony shots are a form of scientific art in themselves. One must capture the perfect blend of both the beauty of the subject as well as the landscape that the balcony resident is admiring. We wonder what she is contemplating while looking over the balcony at the city rooftops. Or perhaps she is just appreciating the view of water and palm trees below. Either way, the balcony shot is a classic necessity to any glam girl’s social media photos, while on vacation or just day-to-day while living the life. Here, Claudia contemplates business, life or maybe just the day as she gazes out in a white cropped shirt and patterned black and white leggings that showcase her well, “assets”. We can just imagine that Claudia must feel like the queen of the world as she peers out over all the eye can see.

#15 A Bedroom Mirror Selfie, Anyone? Claudia shows off her curvy figure with a sexy bedroom mirror selfie. Look closely and you’ll see that her hair forms the shape of a heart. Her fans go crazy when Claudia sends the love on social media by posting these intimate setting photos. Laying down on the floor near her bed in black boy shorts and a tiny top using a large mirror to capture the causal moment is exactly the kind of pose that allows her fans to see her as more relatable… if a reported mega crime boss with a thing for assault rifles can be considered relatable, that is. Based on this photo, Claudia clearly seems to know that sometimes showing just enough to leave them wanting more is key for becoming a rising social media star. She doesn’t even have to show her face for the viewer to know that this is a sexy tease pic.

Source: TheRichest