#the dice just don't want those two's sons to survive

[townsenddecades]

1329 – Day 2 – Chevalier Home

Robert wants to weep when they find their boy unmoving and cold one morning. They hadn’t  even noticed he was sick. Hawise is in tears, certain that it is her fault and that she will lose her position at once, which doesn’t help the situation. Reassuring her gives Robert something to focus on, but it also draws his attention away from his wife, who has gone utterly still with their lifeless son cradled in her arms.

Robert sends Hawise away to prepare breakfast, just to get her out of the way, and then walks over to where Elisaria is sitting on the bed.

“My dearest?”, he questions carefully. She doesn’t respond.

He sits down next to her, unsure what to do, what to say, only now truly realizing that their son, their third son, is dead. The Watcher has once again snatched one of their children away. Rage fills him, swiftly followed by desperate grief. Why their sons? Why all of them? They were so careful to keep Landon away from everything that could cause him to sicken. And he still died. It isn’t just.

He was only three months old.

Three months.

He closes his eyes tightly, desperate to keep his own rising tears down.

They bury their boy next to his brothers, to ascertain that at least his body won’t rest alone. His soul, they hope, will be safe with the Watcher. It would be cruel of Her to not only take him away, but to then neglect him.

Even before this, they visited their sons’ graves often, but now, there is hardly a day where Robert returns from town and doesn’t find Elisaria there. Every occasion makes him more reluctant to leave her alone, but he can’t neglect his duties to the earl.

Once, when he approaches her, he hears her angrily muttering. And he catches enough of her curses of the Watcher’s name to grow concerned.

“You shouldn’t say such things, my love. It’s blasphemous.”

“What of it?”, she snaps, whirling around so fast that the veil of her headdress hangs still in the air for a moment. “If the Watcher does not wish for my criticism, She shouldn’t take my sons away from me.”

Never in his life has he seen his gentle wife this angry. His heart goes cold at her words, and he looks around quickly, but the road and fields abutting their lands are, blessedly, empty of listeners. He takes Elisaria’s hands in his. “I feel the same, my love, but our sons wouldn’t want their mother to incriminate herself like this. If someone were to hear you-”

“They can’t want anything! She took them from us before they learned how to want!”, she shouts and yanks her hands out of his grasps. “I can’t understand how you accept this so calmly! They were our children, Robert!”

“And I mourn them.” He takes to step forward her but stills when she raises her hands and steps back. “Mon cœur, do you think the Watcher’s capriciousness doesn’t affect me? I lost my mother when I was just a boy, I lost siblings, I watched my brother the earl and Lady Petersmarch lose most of their children. My heart bled not only for our boys at their loss, but for you. But I have to believe that She has a plan. That She wants to protect them from the wickedness of the world. I’d go mad otherwise.”

“We could protect them. And what about our girls? Aren’t they worthy of protection?”

“Maybe She knows what fate would have befallen our boys and wanted to protect them from it”, he suggests. He doesn’t know if he believes that. He is angry too, although he knows it is blasphemy. But he has too much experience in pulling himself together and burying his emotions.

His words don’t make Elisaria any happier. She merely looks away. “If She took them to protect them, I don’t know that I want to know what Her plan for the rest of us is”, she whispers. She doesn’t resist when he pulls her into his arms, and she doesn’t expect him to answer.

Which is all the better, because he doesn’t know what to say to that. But it makes him horribly afraid for what is to come.

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[walkswithmyfather]

“About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachtani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” —Matthew 27:46

“When God Gives You The Silent Treatment (Praying Through Unanswered Prayers)” By Elevation Church:

“As Jesus hung on the cross for our sins, darkness covered the land. John was the only disciple of the 11, along with four women, who risked everything to show up in the middle of Jesus’ suffering.

The scene stood in stark contrast to the day Jesus’ earthly ministry had begun three years earlier. When Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened and the Spirit of God descended like a dove upon Him. God’s voice could be heard saying, “This is My beloved Son. I take delight in Him.”

But on Good Friday, no one heard God’s voice. Jesus cried out from His cross, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Jesus was in the center of His purpose, fulfilling God’s perfect plan, when He felt the most forsaken and alone. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to perform miracles and preach; He came to die in our place. And yet, when Jesus was closest to victory, God seemed the furthest away.

How do you push through pain and grief? How do you keep praying when it seems as though your prayers aren’t being heard?

Jesus responded to God’s silence on the cross by declaring, “Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit.” This statement is our survival guide for navigating seasons of perceived silence.

When you can’t change your situation, commit your spirit to the One who holds the whole world in His hands. Remind your heart that just because you can’t hear God doesn’t mean He’s absent.

It was in Jesus’ darkest hour that God was doing His greatest work.

​​If you're struggling to hear God today, meditate on the words He's already spoken over you. You are precious in His sight and loved by Him (Isaiah 43:4). He calls you friend (John 15:15) and He sees you as more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37-39). You are God's workmanship — when He sees you, He sees a masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). Don't fill in the silence with lesser voices — fill it with the Master's words and your faith.

Father, when I can’t hear Your voice, help me to hope in Your Word. There are situations where I can’t see You and circumstances I can’t change, but I do the only thing I can — I commit my spirit to You. I recall to mind Your goodness and it gives me hope. Because of Your faithful love, I am not consumed. Thank You for working ALL things for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

“On the way they found a man called Simon, from Cyrene, and they forced him to carry Jesus' cross. When they arrived at Golgotha, meaning “Place of the Skull,” they gave him wine mixed with gall. But having tasted it, he refused to drink it. After they had crucified him, they rolled dice to divide his clothes between them. Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. They placed a sign over his head with the charge against him. It read, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” They crucified two criminals with him, one on the right, and one on the left. Those who passed by shouted insults at him, shaking their heads, saying, “You who promised to destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days, why don't you save yourself! If you really are the Son of God, then come down from the cross.” The chief priests mocked him in the same way, along with the religious teachers and elders. “He saved other people, but he can't save himself!” they said. “If he really is the king of Israel, let him come down from the cross, and then we'll believe him! He trusts God so confidently—well let God rescue him now if he wants him, because he claimed ‘I am the Son of God.’” The criminals who were crucified with him also insulted him in the same way. From noon until three o'clock darkness covered the whole country. At about three o'clock Jesus shouted out loud, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” —Matthew 27:32‭-‬46 (FBV)

“It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. The sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” Having said this, he breathed his last. When the centurion saw what was done, he glorified God, saying, “Certainly this was a righteous man.” All the multitudes that came together to see this, when they saw the things that were done, returned home beating their breasts. All his acquaintances, and the women who followed with him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.” —Luke 23:44‭-‬49 (WEB)

[Welcome Resurrection Devotional Day 3 of 7:]