#the desperation wouldn't feel real if it was solved any sooner

[tbookblurbs]

The Hero of Ages - Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn Era 1, #3)

5/5 - Satisfying conclusion, excellent discussions about faith, intensely vivid world-building

Spoilers below!!

This book deserves high praise for its commitment to the plotline alone. Many books (and tv series) that I've read(/watched) find themselves unwilling to commit to the ending that they've set themselves up for. As heartbreaking as it is, sometimes the events set in motion have to result in major character death and despair. Anything else would be unsatisfying.

I can still remember how I felt the first time I read HoA and even knowing the ending, you still feel this sense of dread. How can the characters survive this? How can you fight the end of the world? And yet because I was so used to seeing most of the main characters survive, I remained convinced until the end that Vin and Elend would make it, which makes their deaths all the more heartbreaking. The imagery of Sazed piecing their bodies back together and laying them in a bed of flowers makes me tear up every time.

On the topic of Sazed, I think the bait and switch of Vin or maybe even Elend as the Hero, only to have Sazed fulfill that role is a really earned and satisfying conclusion. It feels good to see that only Sazed could save the world and bring everything back to what it should have been because he's a scholar. Conflict and death couldn't resolve everything in the end.

The journal entries should have tipped me off, honestly. The first time, I thought that maybe Elend or Vin was writing them later on, old and able to look back on these times with more of a curious eye, or maybe that Sazed and the pair were creating it together. But now, reading this for the second time, the hints of Sazed were there the whole time. He's got such a distinctive voice and way of looking at the world.

From a pulled-back perspective, Sanderson is really good at writing the end of the world. I felt similarly reading the Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler (which everyone should read!) and that same sort of sadness and hopelessness bleeds through the page here. However, just like in Butler's work, there's this pervading sense of hope. It's desperate and crazy at times, but it's still there. And that's one of the things I really like about Sanderson's novels. He seems to really believe in the potential for people to be good and hopeful and trusting in one another, which I vastly prefer over the "all humans are evil" schtick that a lot of other authors have going (GRRM).

[sofreddie]

Altar

Summary: Being captured on a hunt, Sam is magically spelled to take Y/N. He always wanted it, but not like this.

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean, Cas

Warnings: NON-CON, dub-con, Smut, unprotected sex, breeding, pregnancy, sex spell, angst, fluff, little more smut

Word Count: 2,887

"Hey guys, I think I found us a case," Sam said, sitting down at the Library table with his laptop. Dean and Y/N groaned as they straightened in their chairs, waiting for Sam to deliver the briefing, "Might be witches."

"Fuckin' hate witches," Dean grumbled, running a hand down his face and standing abruptly, "Be ready to go in ten," he sighed, heading off to his room. Sam nodded, shutting his laptop and following.

Y/N sighed. They just got back from a hunt, literally a few hours before. She desperately wanted a break after back-to-back hunts across several states, keeping them away from the Bunker for over a month.

Hunting alongside the Winchesters was new to her. She had hunted for years, but more as an as-needed, weekend gig. They had happened upon each other when the Winchesters showed up on her werewolf case a year prior.

The three of them worked well together and the case was solved easily and quickly. Afterwards, with celebratory drinks in hand, the brothers had asked her to hunt with them.

Dean would flirt constantly, but it was harmless. It was clear the two of them were more instant friends than lovers of any kind. Sam - well, Sam was a different story. Everything about him screamed man and had Y/N yearning for him in every way.

But working with the Winchesters, getting a chance at the big leagues, living with them in the Bunker - it was all fantastic and she felt like she was truly making a difference.

But she didn't want to jeopardize that by pursuing anything with Sam. So she buried her feelings and hid them expertly, leaving no one the wiser that she felt anything more than comradery for the brothers.

Little did she know that Sam was head-over-heels for her from the moment he watched her roundhouse-kick a werewolf clear across the room. Y/N was a very 'what-you-see-is-what-you-get' kind of girl and Sam couldn't help but want her the more and more he spent time with her. She was everything he never knew he needed.

But with his past with women, he didn't want to risk it. She was special - precious, even - and he didn't want to taint her. Especially when it was clear she had no interest in him. So he allowed himself to be content with their close friendship and pretended it was enough.

Dean was in full panic mode. One second, the three of them were investigating a lead. Next thing, Sam and Y/N had just disappeared. There was no one around, no trace of them anywhere - and no way to find where they might be or who had them.

He cursed as he climbed in the Impala, pulling out his phone and dialing Cas while simultaneously sending out prayers to his Angel friend. He had to find them. He wouldn't let them die like the others. He had to save them.

Sam woke with a headache. He groaned, placing a hand on his forehead to try and ease the ache as he scrambled to his feet. He was in a dark room, the concrete walls around him slightly damp, the smell of decay filling his nostrils.

Before he could fully get his bearings, his head shot towards the sound of metal scraping as the door to his cell opened. He shielded his eyes from the blinding light before several shadowed figures flanked him.

A woman approached through the doorway, her elegance out of place in the dungeon-like surroundings.

"What do you want?" Sam croaked, his voice hoarse and throat sore from disuse. He remembered being on a case with Dean and Y/N.

Where were they?

The woman smirked, raising a hand towards him and uttering a few words. An eerie glow emitted briefly from her hands. Sam felt his body relax as he stood at his full height. He was aware of his surroundings but unable to control his body.

He watched, like a helpless prisoner, from within his own body as he followed the woman obediently, the flunkies she brought with her pulling up the rear.

"Don't worry, Sam," the woman offered a smile that would be considered charming and friendly if it weren't for the circumstances, "I promise you'll enjoy this part."

Another door opened and Sam followed inside once more. The sight before him nearly made his heart stop.

Y/N was naked, laying on a stone altar, surrounded by people in robes, candles and torches providing a warm glow to the room. He tried to scream, tried to rush to her, but his body wouldn't cooperate.

He couldn't stop the woman from placing a hand on his shoulder and chanting. He couldn't stop himself from removing his clothes and walking to the altar. He couldn’t stop the others as they joined the chant, their eyes on him and Y/N as he stood at the end of the altar looking her over.

Her eyes kept his and he could see they were wild, panicked, but her body dutifully lay still on the altar. Whatever was happening, they were both trapped and aware in their minds, unable to control themselves.

Sam sent a prayer out to anyone who could be listening, hoping someone out there wouldn't mind an IOU from a Winchester.

Sam found himself crawling up onto the altar, his cock suddenly hard and throbbing as he looked down at Y/N beneath him. Her hands were bound above her in iron shackles, stretching her out along the stone surface, her entire body laid bare.

His eyes roamed her appreciatively, his hands following the burning trail of his eyes. He tried to focus, tried to break whatever spell was cast upon him.

But his mind was distracted by the soft warmth of her skin, the needy whimpers that fell from her parted lips, the eager squirming of her body under his touch.

The chanting grew louder, like a Gregorian song, as Sam’s body moved of its own accord. He parted her legs, lifting them to either side of his hips, as he slotted himself between her thighs.

As he rutted his length against her, he could feel her wetness, her heat nearly scorching. A groan slipped past his lips and Sam wasn’t sure if that was the spell or him any longer.

He’d always wanted Y/N - fantasized about her more times than he’d care to admit. Seeing her like this was somehow both a dream come true and a living nightmare - not like this.

As the chanting grew louder, all Sam could see was Y/N. Without warning, he slid his length inside of her in one mighty thrust, the force pushing her up along the altar. His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her body down against him as he continued thrusting.

Her wails were a mix of anguish and pleasure and his cock twitched in response. It was over quickly, Sam’s body shuddering violently as he came hard, filling her with his seed until it leaked out around his cock, soiling the stone beneath them.

He was denied even the chance to enjoy the high as his body crawled back off of her, standing at the end of the altar and facing the robed figures in silence once more.

The elegant woman approached Y/N and placed a hand on her lower belly, her eyes fluttering shut as she muttered something under her breath.

“It is done,” she announced, turning to a smaller table by the altar and grabbing a goblet in which she mixed several ingredients, including her own blood. She raised the goblet in the air as she spoke to the congregation,

“To our Lord Chemosh!” she announced, holding the goblet high as she turned back to Y/N, “You will be the mother of a God,” the woman whispered, before starting her chanting once more, the goblet held tightly in her hands as the others in the room joined her chanting.

Sam’s muscles tensed in his whole body as he fought to break through whatever hold they had on him.

A slam of the door on the far end of the room revealed Dean and Cas, weapons at the ready. Their eyes scanned over Y/N and Sam with shock and worry and Sam screamed for his brother in his mind, but his body held still.

As Dean pierced the heart of the elegant woman - the last of the cult around them - Sam’s body fell in a heap to the floor, his world going dark.

Sam groaned as he came to, his head pounding once more. In a flash, his mind flooded with memories - of the cult, of the spell, of Y/N. He gasped, sitting upright and realizing he was in his bed at the Bunker. He sighed, wondering if it was all some bizarre dream.

He forced himself from bed, trying to shake the thoughts of the dream from his mind, and made his way down the hall. He followed the sounds of voices to the Library, finding Dean and Cas pausing awkwardly mid-conversation as he came into their view.

“You’re up,” Dean smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes, “How you feelin’?”

Sam lowered himself into one of the chairs, still trying to clear his foggy mind, “My head hurts,” he grumbled, brushing his hair back from his face.

“That would be the remnants of the spell,” Cas offered with a sympathetic smile.

“The spell?” Sam’s mind flitted back to his dream and his wide eyes shot to Dean, “I-it was real?”

Dean sighed, dropping his head and nodding, “Yeah. Turns out the coven we were after was actually a cult, trying to resurrect their dead God.”

“Y/N,” Sam breathed out, barely audible to his own ears as his pulse throbbed in his temples.

“She’s fine,” Dean said quickly, “She’s resting in her room.”

“B-but the spell…the altar-”

“She’s fine,” Dean insisted, placing a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“B-but we - I -”

“We stopped the spell before they could conjure Chemosh,” Dean stated, sharing a glance with Cas before turning back to Sam, “I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner.”

“She…she’s okay though? I mean, what happened…what I did-”

“She’s safe and healthy,” Cas confirmed, “They both are.”

Sam looked up in confusion in time to see Dean flash a threatening glare at Cas who merely shrugged in response, “He deserves to know.”

“She’s….I…” Sam felt the panic rise like bile in the back of his throat, “She’s pregnant?”

Sam watched as his brother and friend nodded their confirmation and his heart shattered. Before all of this, he wanted her. Not just in his bed, but in his life. He wanted a life with her.

But he had convinced himself that being with him would get her killed or worse, so he refused to let either of them cross that line, no matter how much they wanted it.

Now, however, in the wake of a spell - a goddamned spell - all of that came crashing down. She probably wouldn’t be able to look at him without reliving what happened, what he had done to her.

If only I fought harder.

If only I was strong enough to resist the spell.

“You two need to talk,” Dean stated firmly and Sam immediately shook his head, “Sam, listen to me, alright?” he waited until Sam’s red-rimmed eyes met his and Dean could see how hurt and broken he was, “I know you probably want to avoid each other like the plague after what happened. But you need to talk, figure out what you want to do about this.”

Sam shook his head once more - partly to deny Dean’s insistence, and partly because he wasn’t sure he could make a hard decision when it came to…this.

Sam rose from his seat, still shaking his head. Dean tried to reach out to him once more, but Sam backed away, a stray tear streamed down his face, before he rushed back to his room, locking the door behind him.

As soon as he was alone, his back slid down the door and he rested on the floor, his knees drawn up to his chest as he sobbed, thinking every hope he had now died.

Three days later, Sam found himself standing in the Bunker hallway, his back braced against the opposite wall from Y/N’s bedroom door. It was late - sometime during the middle of the night - and everyone had gone to bed.

Dean came to him earlier that day, worried over Y/N. Much like him, she had been locked away in her solitude, not eating, barely sleeping. Dean had tried to take care of her, tried to get her to take care of herself, but nothing he did helped.

Sam, too, was ready to brush it aside, if it weren’t from the reminder from Dean that she was pregnant. With his child. Ready for it or not, Sam had a responsibility, to her and their child.

With a heavy breath, he forced himself from the wall, shuffling the few feet across the way to stand directly in front of her door. Before he could talk himself out of it, he raised a hand, knocking several times. Her whispered and broken voice echoed from the other side as she beckoned him inside.

Sam opened the door, slinking in quietly and shutting it behind him. He lifted his gaze, seeing her propped against the headboard of her bed, her knees tucked into her chest, her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

“Sam,” she whispered and he could see the shock on her face, “What are you-”

“You’re not eating,” Sam’s voice was gentle and hesitant as he looked at her with worry. She scoffed, turning her head to stare at the opposite wall, avoiding him. Sam licked his lips and took a few hesitant steps closer to the bed, looking down at her, “Y/N,” he pleaded.

“You should go,” she said sternly.

“Y/N,” Sam tried once more, sitting on the edge of her bed and reaching towards her. She shot off the bed in a huff, staring at him from across the room.

“Sam,” she sighed, “Look, I’m not mad at you, okay? I know this wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault. But what happened,” she shook her head, taking another breath.

“I know,” Sam stood, swiping his hair back from his face, “But it did happen, Y/N,” he pressed, approaching her once more, “A-and now…” his eyes flitted to her stomach and his heart ached. Ached for what had happened, and ached to comfort her and have her in his arms.

“What am I supposed to do?” she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, looking defeated and broken and Sam felt his own eyes well with tears.

“We,” Sam said, rushing to stand before her, his hands grazing her elbows as he yearned to just touch her, “We can do whatever you want. But for what it’s worth,” he added with a soft smile as he lifted her chin to meet his gaze, “I want this. Definitely not the way it happened and I can’t change that. But, Y/N,” he licked his lips, noting he now had her undivided attention. It was now or never, “I’ve thought about this, about us, about a life together so much and I know you have too.”

“I thought you would have wanted to forget,” she admitted, her voice weak and body trembling slightly under his touch.

He smiled once more, crowding into her until their chests nearly touched, his gentle grazes on her arms more prominent, “I could never forget,” he insisted as his hands began ghosting over her arms and shoulders with teasing grazes, “How soft and smooth your skin is. The sounds you made. The look in your eyes. How wet and hot-”

“Sam,” she gasped, her eyes fluttering as his fingers trailed up her neck before he cupped her cheek.

“Let me show you,” he breathed out, his breath fanning over her neck teasingly, “How it should have been,” he pulled back to meet her eyes, “How I wanted it to be.”

At her approving nod, Sam was quick to get them both undressed, kissing her passionately the whole time. Once he had her bare and on the bed, he slowed down, taking his time to kiss and taste and tease every inch of her skin from her neck to chest to hips and thighs.

He had her coming on his tongue before he scissored her open, relishing the sounds she made as she came for him once more. Finally, he entered her, slow and smooth until he had no more to give. They both let out long, contended sighs at being connected.

Sam cupped her face in his hands, capturing her lips as he rocked within her, barely leaving her warmth before pushing back in again and again. He slowly worked them to climax, the two of them desperately clinging and grinding as they climbed the high together, finally tumbling off into bliss.

Settling in on their sides under the covers, they wrapped up in each other, kissing lazily as they came down from their highs. The future was scary and uncertain, but they knew they could face it together.