#the current problems I'm facing in my brain are all mine and nothing they did

[khai-luvs-to-write]

"I hear your symphony."

(okay, this one is actually posted from a comment I made on a different story, that is not mine btw. try and find it, I dare you. and yes, I did write this while listening to the song.)

You and Iida have been dating for a while, right? You guys are comfortable with each other, as far as you knew. One evening(most likely past curfew, cause rules? Who's she? we don't know her), you go to check up on him because Midoriya told you he was acting differently. As you're approaching his dorm room you hear a voice you almost recognize singing a song you're all too familiar with.

"I used to hear a simple song...that was until you came along..."

You walk towards the door and hear what sounds like the strum...of a guitar? It was almost 11pm, Iida would be sound asleep right now, right?

"Now in its place is something new...I hear it when I look at you."

You sit and quietly listen by his door, the voice smoother than high-gloss paint, which is a really weird and random analogy, but it works. Before you knew it, the song was over, and you could hear a zipper and low strum of a guitar. You backed away from the door when you heard footsteps approaching where you were currently seated outside of your boyfriend's dorm room, just to hear something drop by the door. Tired, and afraid of getting caught, you begin to get up from your spot to head back to your room when you hear: "It's getting late, I can continue this tomorrow after school is done." in your boyfriend's voice. After that, everything seemed to click (even though it should have around 20 minutes ago, but your brain has problems processing things when you need it to).

Was that Iida singing?

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, while everyone is getting breakfast before leaving for the school, you pull your boyfriend aside to ask him a question.

"I was walking to your dorm sometime last night because Midoriya said you'd been acting differently and heard singing coming from your dorm. Was that you?" His face went red, and his eyes slightly widened before calmly responding:

"I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, my love. Are you sure you didn't have your headphones on and forgot about it?" he kissed your temple and grabbed his blazer to complete his uniform, and walked towards the door. You did have your headphones in last night, but you were sure nothing was playing, right?

Right?

Regardless of whether your headphones were on or not, you and Iida both agreed to never speak on the subject again.

Or so he thought.

[A/N] Hey guys! It's been a loooong while since I wrote anything, let alone anything good. I apologize for the the wait, but life's had other plans for me as of late, school and my schoolwork's been really draining me so I haven't been able to produce anything for a significant amount of time. Hoooopefully the work lightens up so I can write more.

509 words, counting the author's note.

[mellowyandere]

One Hell of a Logical Ruse Part 2

Reader: F

Characters: Toshinori Yagi (All Might)

Summary: Toshinori's anxiety over your absence quickly gave way to anger as he tired of your attitude. His own version of a punishment was in order.

Length: 6.7k

Warnings: non-con spanking, yandere themes, bathing, non-con, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, size kink.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Based off the pre-established fic You’re Ours to Protect. 

Toshinori and Hizashi were pacing the kitchen, phones in hand as they tried to get Shouta to respond. You had been missing for upwards of six hours now and the pros were on the verge of losing it. Their sleepy counterpart had stated he wouldn't need the two blonds help, but try as they might they couldn't help the anxiety clawing away at their minds.

"Fuck Toshi what if she got hurt? I know she's capable 'n all but the woods! There's god knows what out there!" The smaller blond was vibrating he was so wound up, the mental image of bugs crawling all over you and coyotes tearing you to pieces sending him into a panic.

All Might's anxieties were a bit more practical, imagining you finding your way to the road and trying to hitch hike away from them. What if a villain found you and hurt you? Nowhere was safer than home with them.

"Shouta is fully capable of finding her, any minute now and he'll give me a call..." The words were meant to bring Hizashi comfort, but he was struggling to convince himself as well. His phone was clutched in his large hand, its silence on the verge of killing him.

When it finally rang he almost threw it across the room as he fumbled it. Slamming the answer button he brought the phone to his ear.

"Where is she, is she hurt, is she alright?"

"Calm down she's fine. Dirty and upset, but otherwise relatively unharmed."

Hizashi bounded over, ears perked so he could listen in on the conversation. His perfectly aligned teeth worried his bottom lip at his husbands word choice of relatively. So he was a bit rough on recovery.

"I'll send you our coordinates, she managed to get pretty far into the endless forest. Good thing that contact of yours set up this quirk or else she would have reached the main road hours ago."

Toshinori heard your disgruntled yelling in the background at Shouta's newest revelation before the line went dead. His phone pinged and he made a mental note of where the two of you were. Taking a deep breath he puffed up his chest, taking on his more muscular appearance before running out the front door.

-----

An endless forest. Go figures. From what you could tell the further you wandered into the woods the deeper they actually became. You weren't exactly sure how they got in and out the house around the quirk, but the path you took was clearly not it.

You were currently sitting on the ground, back to Shouta as you simmered. Now that he was no longer plastered on top of you your anger was rekindled. You could feel his eyes burning holes into you, but you were far too pissed off to acknowledge him. It was a good thing he seemed to know when to leave you be, not bothering with conversation after fucking you into the forest floor.

The only thing he'd done since violating you was get his capture weapon, dragging you along so he didn't lose sight of you again.

Your head was still pounding from when you had hit the ground earlier. Combining that with how filthy you were and Shouta's cooling cum on your inner thighs, and you feel like absolute shit.

The sound of a loud thud behind you caused you to flinch. You didn't have it in you to turn around and face the number one hero right now, not sure if you would be able to handle whatever expression was on his face.

"Oh goodness, Shouta she's a mess what did you do?"

The dark haired man simply huffed in response, eyes rolling at the number ones concern.

"Just get us home, she needs a bath."

You hated when they talked about you like you weren't there, as if you were just some pet or child instead of your own autonomous person.

All Mights heavy footsteps approached you, stopping just shy of touching you. When you made no move to acknowledge his presence he sighed deeply, tutting at your behavior, before scooping you up bridal style. You closed your eyes to avoid looking at him, turning away from his broad chest.

"Shouta you can just grip around my neck from behind, it will only take a couple minutes to get back."

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes at his words. He had covered what took you six hours in mere minutes.

As soon as Eraserhead had confirmed himself secure All Might took off. Wind rushed passed you as he soared high above the canopy. You peeked your eyes open, trying desperately to see where the forest ended, but much to your dismay the nearest city looked to be hundreds of miles away, and any possible roads were obscured by trees.

"Take a good look Y/N," Toshinori murmured to you, voice rumbling against your ear. He didn't need to say more, you understood him loud and clear. Escape won't be possible, even if you get out you can't outrun me, and even if you hide it's only a matter of time before we find you. Your tears of frustration fell more freely now. Way to rub salt in the wound.

When you landed a minute or so later Shouta wasted no time in dropping off the giant while Toshinori quickly brought you inside. Hizashi greeted you at the front door, a strange mixture of relief, anger and disappointment swirling in his emerald eyes.

"Oh no baby look at yah. I got the water runnin' in the master bath in your room Toshi come on lets get her clean." Toshinori followed Hizashi upstairs, refusing to put you down. You all trailed through his bedroom, simplistic design leaving the space void of personality, until you ended up in his bathroom. The room was large, to accommodate the size of its owner, with white marble tiles on the floor, accompanied by white walls and white appliances, giving the room a sterile feeling.

"Hizashi, Shouta, I'll take care of her for now." You had expected a bit of protest from Hizashi but he merely walked out with a sad nod.

"Take it easy on her okay, it's partially my fault she got out..." Shouta mumbled, following his husband out of the bathroom. The door closed with a soft click and for the first time since coming into this house you found yourself alone with All Might. He was normally so busy you barely ever saw him, but now here he was, gently lowering you to the floor.

He stepped away from you, running his hand under the large free standing tubs faucet to test the water temperature. Hizashi had left everything he'd need to clean you up, towel and spare clothes included.

"Go ahead and strip." His voice was colder than normal, an edge to it that filled you with unease. Turning to finally look at him you sucked in your breath. His eyes were fixated on you, searing you with a look that was equal parts disappointment and wounded. He was still in his muscular form, kneeling impatiently beside the bath.

Heat rushed to your face as you slowly began to peel off your filthy clothes, until you were standing in front of him in your bra and underwear. He quirked an eyebrow at you as his frowned deepened.

"All of it." Anger and fear mixed dangerously in your mind as you glared at him.

"I can clean myself."

"I don't recall asking if you could. Strip, now."

When you made no move to comply he threw his head back in exasperation, heaving a large sigh before standing to his full height.

"I have had enough of your behavior young lady. I understand your frustration with us, but we're doing this for your own good. Would you really rather waste away in prison?"

"I'd rather you assholes just kill me already or something, this whole playing pet thing is really starting to piss me off!" His face dropped, teeth grinding against one another as his mind processed what you said. You had no idea how villains got the nerve to fight him, right now it was taking everything inside you to not back down and apologize.

"Kill you? Are you serious right now!" He stomped up to you, frame looming over you threateningly as his eyes blazed with fury.

Swallowing hard you steeled your nerves, you had nothing left to lose so might as well give him a piece of your mind.

"I was perfectly fine before you fuckers brought me here! I don't need you! The fact that you had to prevent me from using my quirk is proof enough that I don't need you! Sure I might not have had much, but it was mine! My life to own and do whatever the hell I wanted with, not yours to take!"

"The moment you decided killing people was the only way to solve your problems was the moment you lost the rights to your life. As heroes in this world, and enforcers of justice, you are sentenced to our care. Now stop arguing with me and strip."

Puffing out your chest you narrowed your tear stained eyes and fixed him with the nastiest look you could muster. "Fuck. You."

In that moment you saw something inside him snap. Mouth pulled tight in a terrifying scowl, he had you maneuvered faster than you could comprehend. One moment you had been standing in front of him, the next you were strewn over his lap, facing the floor.

You yelled out in anger, clawing at his calves through his cargo pants. You knew what would be coming next, but your brain didn't want to slow down to think about how humiliating it was about to be.

"If you want to act like a child then you'll be punished like one. Count. One for every hour you were gone. Be grateful it's not more."

"Let go of me you fucking assho- aH!"

His large hand made contact with your clothed ass, the slap muffled by the sound of running water.

"Count."

You bit down on your bottom lip hard, tears leaving trails as they washed the dirt down your face. You waited with bated breath, the stinging on your ass for now was bearable enough.

"Y/N, you will count on this next one or I will double your punishment. I'm done playing games with you."

You tensed on the expanse of his massive thighs. You didn't want to count, didn't want to give in, but deep down you knew you'd never win.

His hand came down again with another resounding smack right on top of the first hit. You let out a sob from the impact, choking out a soft "one" as your self preservation instincts kicked your ego to the curb.

"Good, only five more to go."

Your head hung in shame as you waited for your punishment to end, jolting and squeaking out numbers every time he made contact with your burning flesh. To his credit he applied the same level of force with each hit, but every time he made contact the intensity of your burn increased until finally you cried out a broken "six".

You felt so pathetic, strewn across All Mights lap. You used to be so independent, never did you imagine this would be your fate. What happened to your self confidence? The fire inside of you that pushed you to rid the world of villains felt smoldered. Doused by the degrading nature of your stay with the three pro heroes.

It made you want to curl up in a ball and cry until your head pounded from exhaustion. Today was simply getting to be too much for you to mentally handle. From your failed escape attempt, your pathetic attempt at self defense against Shouta, learning running was a pointless waste of your time, to now getting a spanking like a fucking child from All Might himself. The list of losses just kept adding up, and none of them were in your favor.

You were openly sobbing, and the fact that you were crying was pissing you off even more, making for a horrible cycle where you simply cried harder. Toshinori gently moved you around in his hold until he had you clutched to his chest, gently shushing you as you clung to him. Despite how wrong it was you found comfort in Toshinori as he rubbed soft circles into your back, grasping small handfuls of his t-shirt as you stained the white fabric with tears and dirt.

"Everything is going to be okay, I know you've had a bad day and being locked up isn't easy for you. Just give it some time Y/N and you'll see that things here aren't so bad with us. We're here for you, and we're never going to tire of you, even with that stubborn attitude of yours."

Toshinori waited patiently for your sobbing to turn into soft hiccups before peeling you off of him. He removed what little clothes you had left and then lowered you into the tub. The drain was unplugged since you were still filthy, and sitting you in a full tub of water would murky up the clean bath.

Grabbing a large cup Toshinori filled it and poured water over your naked body. You watched with unfocused and puffy eyes as the proof of your failed escape attempt swirled down the drain. Only when the water finally ran clear did Toshinori put the plug in. The lulling warmth progressively crept higher up your body, your head bobbing as you grew sleepy. Toshinori turned the water off once the water had reached your chest, leaving it a good bit from the lip of the tub.

You heard the rustling of clothes but paid the source no mind. You didn't so much as react when the now naked hero stepped into the bath, shimmying down until you were surrounded by him. The water level rose drastically with the addition of the 560 pound man. His thick thighs were splayed on either side of you, solid abdominal muscles pressed into your back.

You heard the pop of a bottle before two large hands gently began to lather your skin in body wash.

"I'm not sure how you like your hair cleaned princess. Whenever women find out I use two in one shampoo they give me a look like I kicked a puppy so I'll just leave that to you for another time." He chuckled softly as he spoke, massaging the tightness out of your shoulders before moving down to your arms.

He spoke so casually, as if all his anger from earlier evaporated with the ending of your punishment. You found yourself grateful that he moved on so quickly instead of lingering on your emotional degradation.

You felt his cock stir a bit as he came back to your chest, cupping them and working the soap onto your skin with more attention than he'd shown your shoulders. You stiffened a bit, but since he made no further move to grind himself against you, you remained in his hold.

"I'm sorry for being rough with you, I'd much rather do something relaxing like this than bring you pain." He pulled you until your head was laying on the expanse of his chest, the deep pounding of his heart mingling with the ringing in your ears. It was almost relaxing, minus the growing erection pressed against your lower back.

Reluctantly his hands left your breast, moving further down your body. He rubbed the soft expanse of your stomach, humming happily at your lack of resistance to him. Only when his hands drifted further did you begin to stir a bit.

"Now young lady I need to make sure all of you is cleaned up okay? You're behaving yourself so well I'd really hate to ruin the moment."

"No, no. Please. Just this one thing.."

His hands paused. He hated how broken you sounded right now. Pulling back he raised his arms outside the tub and rested them along the edges. You relaxed a bit as he retreated.

"Alright Y/N, do you need any soap?"

Sighing softly in relief, you were glad that he was willing to give you this. It almost made you feel human again.

"Nah, it's not healthy to use soap down there."

Toshinori merely hummed in acknowledgement, sliding further into the bath and pushing you along with him as he got comfortable.

You cleaned your core gently, it was still a bit sore from what Shouta had done earlier to you. Only once you deemed yourself spotless did you get soap to lather on the parts of you Toshinori had not gotten to. Speaking of, his breathing had gotten a lot deeper. You peaked back at him noticing his head uncomfortably resting against the tub as he drifted into unconsciousness.

Peering down his naked body you couldn't help but gasp softly as you took note of the large injury covering part of his abdomen. You turned towards him, sending ripples through the water as you cautiously brought your hand to the deep scar. You knew that All Might had been injured enough to force him into a smaller form, but seeing the injury first hand was something else entirely. Who on earth had been able to hurt this titan of a man?

You hadn't realized Toshinori had woken up until his large hand gently covered your own. Meeting his soft gaze you were taken aback by his sad smile.

"The man who did this to me, some say it would be best if I just killed him already. But that's not what heroes do, that's not what Nana would do."

Taking hold of your body Toshinori moved you until he had you straddling the smallest part of his waist. Since you were both completely naked you kept your eyes trained on his injury, heat rushing to your cheeks at the intimacy of the position. His hands rose from the water, gently cupping your face and drawing your gaze to his own.

"When I look at you sometimes I can see her. Your strong will, your intelligence, how beautiful you are... but you're not the same person. Not in a bad way, no you are unique. Your own individual, and someone who I've come to love, even if you don't feel the same way."

His blue orbs were hypnotizing, almost as if he believed if he tried hard enough your own glassy orbs would mirror his loving gaze, or perhaps he'd see it hidden in the depths of your irises.

This moment was far too intimate and personal for your comfort, it was so different than anything any of the men had done before. In a way you almost preferred when they failed to acknowledge you as an equal, it made it easier to hate them. But right now, sitting in the warm bath atop Toshinori, you could feel your resolve slipping.

You didn't want to bring attention to his confession so you decided to try and divert the subject.

"Who's Nana?" You had never heard of her before, not even in tabloids referring to All Might. Toshinori's hands froze on your face, eyes scrunching up as he contemplated on how he wanted to answer.

"Nana... Nana was my mentor. Though calling her that doesn't feel right, she was more like a mother to me. She's the reason I am who I am. Without her I'd be nothing."

Past tense, he was using a lot of past tense. It didn't take a genius to interpret why. His forlorn expression filled in the gaps, so you didn't bother to ask what had become of her. He saw you in the same light he saw this woman?

"Y/N, will you sleep with me tonight?"

Taking note of your hesitation he continued speaking before you could voice any protests.

"Coming home and realizing you were gone.. I was so worried, so afraid I'd never see you again. That you'd be taken away from me, and I don't know if I can handle losing you. I've lost so many people that I cared deeply about, I refuse to lose you too."

How in the ever loving fuck were you supposed to refuse him now. Even though you were still mad at him from his earlier form of punishment you couldn't find it in you to hurt him right now.

"Yeah that's fine, but just tonight. You probably put off a ridiculous amount of heat or snore or something..."

Toshinori flashed you his signature smile before bellowing out a laugh. The water rippled and your body jostled along with his hearty chuckle.

"Me? Snore? No, it'll be the coughing that might get to you haha-ack"

Pain flashed across his face before you felt his body rapidly shrink beneath you with a large puff of smoke. He scrambled upright, causing you to fall against him as he hacked out a lung. You awkwardly placed your hand on his back and rubbed small circles as one of his arms gripped you tightly for balance.

"So-sorry I think I was in my muscular form for too long."

He looked a bit sheepish, using the back of his forearm to wipe off some blood that had dribbled down his chin. You merely sat there, doing your best to look anywhere but him as he collected himself.

"The water's getting cold, come on let's get out princess."

You stood up first, awkwardly stepping over his legs and out of the tub. You were a bit embarrassed that he kept his eyes trained on you the whole time while his hands hovered to ensure your safety. A pile of large fluffy towels were set to the side of the tub on a stool. Grabbing the one on top you began the process of drying off.

You heard the sloshing of water as Toshinori stood up, followed by the sound of the plug being pulled and water draining. Looking over it amazed you that even in his smaller form he was was still intimidating. Wiry muscles clung tight to his frame, the angles of his face casting shadows across his eyes. Stepping out he grabbed a towel and proceeded to dry himself off as well.

"Hizashi left you some clothes it would seem... though they look a bit uncomfortable. You can borrow a spare shirt of mine, I also have a spare toothbrush on the top right hand draw of the counter if you want to hide out in my room tonight."

You very much wanted to avoid Hizashi, not sure if you could handle whatever he'd have in store for you right now. Out of three men here, he made you the most nervous. Even now, as you held the scandalous lingerie up to the light you knew he was still going to want his share of punishment.

"I'll take your shirt offer, as well as the hiding out offer. I don't think I can handle him tonight."

Toshinori hummed in acknowledgement before heading to his bedroom and shuffling about before reappearing with one of his large white t-shirts. He had on boxers now, which he must have bought specifically for his smaller form because they hugged all of him rather snugly. Tossing the shirt your way he meandered about the bathroom, preparing for sleep.

You both finished around the same time, leaving you to awkwardly shuffle towards his gigantic bed. He followed behind you, large hand on the small of your back to encourage you onwards.

You wanted him to sleep on the other side of the bed but weren't sure exactly how to voice your desire, especially when he followed so closely behind you. Pulling back the sheets you slid under the cool covers, and yet again Toshinori somehow found a way to leave you with no space.

After turning off the bedside lamp his long limbs quickly ensnared you, pulling you close and tucking you into his embrace. He was warm, but not unpleasantly hot.

Just for tonight. You'd give him this just for tonight. You were also beyond exhausted, your limbs heavy as you sunk into his ridiculously comfortable mattress. Your mind, which had been drifting off ever since the bath, finally dipped into unconsciousness. Your soft breathing filled the air as Toshinori watched you finally succumb to slumber. Smiling softly he lovingly stroked your cheek, planting a kiss to your forehead before giving in himself.

-----

Waking with a jolt you were thrown off by limbs harshly clutching your body. It took you a moment to remember that you weren't in your own bedroom, meaning Toshinori was currently holding you like his life depended on it.

The room was pitch black so you had no idea what time it was, but figured it was still way to early to be awake. His grip on your body was borderline painful causing you to groan out in sleepy annoyance.

"Toshinori, damnit, wake up. You're squeezing me too tight," you grumbled, wiggling a bit to try and jostle him awake. He was murmuring in his sleep, deep voice grumbling against you with the way he had you pressed against his chest.

"D-don't go... no no. I am here... please."

His body was trembling, caught in a nightmare that you couldn't see.

You raised your voice a bit, trying harder to wake him up but he still wouldn't release his grip on you. Only when you accidentally elbowed him did he finally react to you.

With a harsh gasp he threw himself on top of you, pushing you into the mattress. His blue eyes were a wild blaze, messy blond hair framing his angular face. His long bangs were plastered to his forehead from sweat, lungs heaving to swallow air.

"Y/N?"

He looked so lost, eyes clouded with tears as his brain finally registered he was no longer trapped in his own personal hell. Groaning out in discomfort he lowered his body on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. He wrapped his arms around you, trying to ground himself.

"Ah, I'm- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up... fuck." Moving down he rested his head against your chest, as if he needed to hear your heart beating beneath him in order to assure himself you were really here.

All you could find it in yourself to do was sigh in exhaustion, body going limp as you relaxed beneath him. It was a good thing he was in his smaller form, since he wasn't attempting to keep any of his weight off of you. You closed your eyes, not quite ready to ask him what his nightmare had been about.

He sniffled softly into your chest, arms unwinding from your waist to gently rub against your exposed flesh. His shirt had drifted up your body, leaving your stomach and lower half exposed.

"May I, may I touch you please?"

"You already are..."

"Oh, uh- yeah it would seem I am. Could I touch you, um down here?" His hand trailed down, knuckles softly brushing against your bare thighs.

You cracked your eyes open to look down at him, his own glowing orbs pleading up to you.

"Toshinori can we just go back to sleep? Please?"

Biting his bottom lip his hand continued to drift closer to your naked core, eyes averting from your own as he thought about what he was going to do next.

"I know I'm not around as much as Hizashi and Shouta but gosh I just- I need to feel you right now. The way they talk about you, how perfect you feel, I need you."

"I-I'd rather we just sleep, Hizashi is still mad at me an-"

Toshinori slid up your body, silencing your protests with a kiss. His hand slid up all the way, using his own thigh as leverage to keep you from closing yours.

His tongue delved into your mouth, fingers finally meeting your outer folds. You struggled beneath him, breaking the kiss.

"Toshinori please, I just want to sleep." In reality you were scared. You had seen his length before, and you'd be a liar if you said it didn't intimidate you. That coupled with the fact that tonight had been going semi-well with the pro, him finally having his share of you would cement your fate in this house even further. His fingers had paused, body still as he took you in below him.

"You don't have to do a thing then princess, I'll take care of everything. Just lay back and relax I promise I'll make you feel good."

"To-Toshinori please, I just want to sleep," you looked deep into his eyes as you pleaded with him, hoping somehow you could find the part of him that knew this was wrong. He gave you a sad smile, his eyes still a bit glassy from his nightmare.

"Just think of this as the last of your punishment then. I still don't think you realize just how terrified I was when I came home to an empty house."

You shook your head, sniffling a bit as tears formed. You tried to push him off but he merely took one large hand and easily secured both of your wrists above your head. His other hand resumed ever so gently teasing you, working on getting you aroused.

"Just lay back and relax alright, then we can go back to sleep. I just-I just need to feel you right now. Need to make sure you're really here."

You worked your bottom lip with you teeth, eyes closed so you no longer had to look at him. His thumb trailed up to press light circles against your clit while his middle finger began to delve a bit deeper, teasing your sore hole. Your body had gone slack, tired of the fact that this was just another situation in which your powerlessness was painfully on display. You didn't have it in you mentally to put up a fight.

Toshinori moved his slim hips until his clothed cock was pressed against your right thigh, rutting against you while he worked you open. He gave a gentle peck to your forehead before trailing kisses down your face to your mouth. He captured your lips with his own, freeing your bottom lip from your teeth and moaning into your unwilling mouth.

You didn't work with him, not giving him the satisfaction of your consent, but he wasn't deterred. He simply moved down, back arching as he made his way to your chest. His erection left your thigh as he finally settled on his stomach between your legs, allowing him to comfortably take your right nipple into his hot mouth.

He nipped at the sensitive bud, long finger pushing into you at the same time while he continued to work your clit. His movements were slow as he savored every moment, sleepy mind basking in the warmth of your body.

You tried to drift back to sleep, thinking that perhaps in the emptiness of unconsciousness you could avoid your punishment, but Toshinori was surprisingly very skilled when it came to manipulating your body. You shuddered beneath him when he gave a particularly hard suck to your breast, his lean digit rubbing against the spongy spot on your inner walls that had you clamping down on him in return.

His pace was torture, just on the cusp of bringing you satisfaction, but he seemed plenty content with dragging this out. You wiggled below him in annoyance, attempting to grind down against his hand in anger and desperation. If he was going to force himself on you then the least he could do was not torment you about it.

With a soft sigh Toshinori released your nipple from his mouth, a small trail of spit connected to his lips. Opening your eyes you glared down at him, while his eyelids were hooded in an amorous gaze.

"Tell me what you need me to do for you princess."

"Let me sleep."

Toshinori gave a sleepy chuckle before peppering your chest with lazy kisses.

"You're more than welcome to try."

Resting his head against your chest he continued to pump his finger excruciatingly slow, easily pushing all the way in to his knuckle, thanks to how wet you had become, before dragging out with a languid come hither motion against your sensitive walls.

You could feel your heart accelerate as he lazily stroked pleasure into your slack body. The way in which you velvety walls clamped down on him far too telling of his skill. It would be so much easier to hate him if he wasn't so damn good at this. In some sick and twisted way though, his loving movements quelled the rage inside you.

Did you want this? Tears slipped down your face as you realized that some fucked up part of you just might. Toshinori hummed softly into your flesh while he lazily worked you closer to your climax, the endorphins flooding your brain working to wash away your inner turmoil. His thumb rubbed gentle circles on your clit while he nipped and sucked on whatever flesh he could reach.

Once he realized you were close to finishing he simply added another finger, stretching and wiggling the two digits to help open you up. You moaned softly at the intrusion, hips bucking as you gave in to him. It didn't take him much longer to finally push you over the edge, but he didn't stop like you had hoped. Adding a third digit you inhaled sharply at the burning sensation, stretched walls still spasming from your orgasm.

"I'll make sure you're ready, don't worry about a thing. Just a little bit more, you're tight but I'll fit."

"It- you won't fit, please you know you won't."

As if to prove you wrong he pushed a bit harder then you were prepared for, burying three of his fingers knuckle deep and forcing a pained whine from your throat. He began to move, getting on his knees and arching his body over your own while continuing to stroke your now sensitive and stinging cunt.

"As I said earlier, just think of this as the ending to your punishment."

"But Hizashi hasn't-" Toshinori cut you off with a pointed look.

"That's not my fault now is it?" You cringed away from him, his cold tone from earlier in the night caused your chest to tighten in fear.

He sighed lowly at your frightened expression, before giving you a small smile and another gentle peck to your forehead.

"Just lay back and relax alright?" He gave your captured wrists a light squeeze as he spoke, large frame hovering over you as he continued to scissor his fingers inside you. The burning sensation from being stretched out began to subside as the familiar warmth of pleasure took hold of you once more.

"There we go, just like that. The more you relax the easier this will be I promise."

Finally pulling his devilish hand away from your soaked pussy he made quick work of shimmying out of his underwear, long cock springing free. The tip was red with a good bit of pre-cum dripping down his intimidating length, some getting lost in his neatly trimmed curly blond pubic hair.

You had flashbacks to the first time you saw it, a bit relieved that in his smaller form he lost a bit of girth. But holy shit if this 7 foot 2 inch giant of a man wasn't packing heat.

Heat flushed Toshinori's face as he watched you take him in. He knew his size could be a bit alarming, which is why he was well versed in the art of foreplay.

Bringing himself down on top of you he lined his tip up with your entrance, free hand helping to guide himself in. You could feel him, gently rubbing himself on your outer lips to gather your slick. His raspy breaths ghosted across the hot expanse of your face, while he closed his eyes, letting out a low groan as he began to push in.

"Sh-shit yes, just like that, ah fuck it'll be a tight fit."

You whined as he began to work on sinking into you, his hand leaving his cock in favor of gently wrapping around your throat.

Despite his best efforts his fingers hadn't been enough preparation when compared to his cock. Gasping in pain you thrashed beneath him. He shushed you gently, fingers stroking your throat delicately as he speared you open. Little by little he rocked his hips into you, holding you down while you cried out in pain.

"So good, you're doing so good. The worst is over okay princess hold out for me."

You hardly knew what he meant by worst part when it felt like he was never going to bottom out. He brought his face down beside yours, huffing and groaning into your ear until finally he was flush with you, cock buried to the hilt. You were breathing hard, small whines and whimpers slipping past your lips at how he stretched you.

"Oh shit. You- you're fucking perfect."

"Too much, it's too much plea-" much to your frustration his mouth met your own again in order to cut off your protests. He pressed your head into the pillow to try and prevent you from pulling away from him again, hungrily following your escape attempts. The hand he had around your throat receded, only to snake its way between the two of you so he could continue teasing your sensitive clit.

His hips began to move again, assuming he had given you plenty of time to adjust based off the way your pussy clenched around him as if begging for more.

He starting off with the same tempo he had been doing for the majority of the night, so slow it was as if he was teasing you. But as the burning sensation in your poor cunt eased you realized he was doing it for your benefit. He wanted you to enjoy this, needed you to find pleasure and comfort in him. After all this was your first time with him, he wanted to make sure you weren't afraid when he came back for more.

As your whimpers subsided, replaced with hushed moans, only then did Toshinori begin to pick up the pace. Finally he released your mouth from his kiss, both of you gasping for air. He showered you with praise as he fucked into you, deep gravely voice never letting you forget just how much he cared for you.

For your part all you could do was submit to him, letting his deft finger and cock bring you back to the brink of orgasm. Your warm walls fluttered around him as he took you closer and closer, the resounding slap of flesh on flesh filling the room as he lost himself in his own pleasure. He was grounded only long enough to see you through, but as soon as you began to convulse around him, hips bucking and pretty mouth moaning obscenely, his mind blanked out.

He abandoned your clit, hand coming up to join the other and thread his fingers through your own. He hammered into you, painfully drawing out your orgasm as he chased his own climax. The juxtapose of him lovingly holding your hands to his feral thrusts was giving you mental whiplash.

"Yes, yes fuck. So good for me, don't ever leave me again. Shit - fuck I can't lose anyone else."

His thrusts were erratic, your whole body forced to move against his. You had assumed he would cum in you, just as Hizashi and Shouta had already done, but right before he finished he pulled out quickly. Pressing the head of his cock into your skin, hot thick surges of cum covered your stomach. The excess quickly began to drip down the side of your body, mingling with your sweat on the sheets below.

Coming down from his high, his hands were still intertwined with your own, skinny body heaving from exertion. For your part your heart rate had mostly settled after your second orgasm, leaving you effectively spent under him.

You had managed to keep your eyes closed while he had fucked you, only now opening them to find him observing you fondly. Releasing his hold on you he leaned over to his bedside table and grabbed a spare handkerchief, using it to wipe off his cooling cum.

Only when he deemed you properly spotless did he toss the cloth to the floor and flop down in the bed beside you. Drawing your weary body against him he folded around you, capturing you once more in his unrelenting grip.

"I know you haven't been here very long, but I can't help but love you so much it hurts. I'll be good to you if you're good to me okay?"

A meager "m-kay" was all you had it in you to respond with, but it was all the man wanted to hear. With a satisfied hum Toshinori pecked your forehead with one last kiss before you both succumbed to sleep.

[vero-studies]

2022 Language Goals

I didn't make a post at all about goals in 2021 I don't think. But let's face it: I accomplished pretty much nothing in the language learning universe at all since I made this blog back in 2018. Big ouch. I got super burned out in 2021 and decided to not really do anything toward the latter half of the year. Waiting until the start of the New Year filled me with so much motivation I had to keep reminding myself to wait until 2022 to try and take things more seriously.

So here I am with some goals. And I still have to post a note picture from a lesson I did yesterday in one of my languages.

Japanese

Finally master katakana. It's been my number 1 struggle and motivation killer since I started to attempt to learn Japanese seriously. No idea why it's so hard for me to grasp, but here we are lol.

Be able to have a basic conversation with one of my Japanese friends on Twitter.

Complete a few chapters out of my Genki I textbook and workbook. I kind of had in mind before to get around the halfway point, but I don’t know. I don’t want to be super unrealistic.

Portuguese (Brazilian)

I severely neglected this language. Badly. So lots of reviewing for me. yay...lol. But I do have goals in mind:

Make a good-sized dent in the Portuguese 1 LingoDeer tree or finish it. I'm nearly halfway done with it anyway and after I review everything to where I was currently up to I plan on jumping back in. Plus it's similar to Spanish so I shouldn't have too much of a problem.

Be able to have a basic conversation with someone.

German

At one point I was around a lower intermediate level back when I took it in high school. Combine that with nobody to practice with and not being fully serious with it, I lost quite a bit of skill and definitely need to review. So this year I want to:

Finally finish my Complete German textbook. This has been a goal of mine in the past since making this blog.

Try and get back to the lower intermediate level.

Find someone to have a conversation with.

Serbian

Keeping this one pretty simple:

Learn the Cyrillic alphabet.

Begin Colloquial Serbian

I’ve also picked up a completely new language that I’ve never, ever dabbled in and have been so excited to start learning:

Nahuatl

Pronunciation because ooof my brain.

Just reach a basic level for now.

Yup. Those are my goals for this year. There might be some dabbling into other languages such as Swedish (I was pretty far along with that once when I was like 15-17 years old. Probably near intermediate level. RIP) But idk. I want to focus on this stuff right now for the time being.

What are your language goals for this year if you have any?

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Eighth Letter

----------------

To: Xu Minghao

From: Y/N

Dear Minghao,

I just want to thank you for being my friend despite my awkward confession, even if this current friendship might not last long. Actually, I don't think it will.

I'll be honest here since I didn't tell you this yet.

I spent a few years away from love. My high school years had so many different love stories and none of them exactly had a happy ending. They were all bittersweet endings and even the love story with you is a bit bittersweet.

I guess I misinterpreted your actions. I'm not mad or extremely sad that you rejected me, I feel like that put me in my place. Now that I think about it, maybe we weren't meant to be lovers. So, I don't want to drift away from you just because you rejected my confession. I'm not going to love you like that anymore, I want to keep you as a true friend.

I hope you won't feel awkward around me. I can already feel the awkward air but I wish for it to fade quickly. Let's not stop being friends. I'll stop loving you though. I hope you won't think of me differently now that I've confessed. I feel like you would pretend that it's fine but inside, the awkwardness only grows.

As I'm writing this letter, the fate of us is still being determined. Even I don't know what we are going to become. If the ending for us is unhappy and we decide to stop being friends... Well, I would blame myself for it. I would be losing a friend that I adored.

MinghaoI won't ever talk about my confession again so I'm writing this.

, you're a really attractive guy. I'm sure that anyone would fall for you if they got to know you. You're fashionable, fun, kind, warm-hearted, and also a great therapist, haha. You give me the best advice and always listen to my problems whenever I need to let them out. You always encourage me to speak up.

Remember that one time when I was getting yelled at by the professor over a misunderstanding? I was just standing there like a complete idiot, listening to the professor's words of criticism when you stood up and said, “Professor, it wasn't Y/N's fault. If you looked closely, you would have seen that the dress already had holes in it from the beginning. It was a part of the design. As a fashion professor, how could you overlook that?”

Your expression was so serious and you completely cornered the professor. I feel kind of bad talking about the professor like this but I just want to praise you. The professor apologized after class but I knew he was unwilling to admit his mistake.

When you stood up for me for the first time, you left such an admirable first impression. I wanted to get to know you immediately! You were so cool speaking straightforwardly like that and not hesitantly speaking your mind and standing up for me. I still admire you.

Minghao, honestly, I don't think we'll be okay.

The words still kind of hurt me. Whenever I see you, I think back on those words you said to me.

Since I was just a friend that confessed, I don't think you would remember your response to my confession, so let me remind you; not in a bad way. Since this is a keepsake letter, I just want to remind myself.

I think you and I were in front of an art museum together. You invited me along that bright, sunny morning, and of course, after realizing my feelings, I couldn't deny your offer. I was excited.

I'm sure you'll never know my side of the story so I'll tell you everything that happened that day and why it leaves a small scar in my chest. I'm not blaming you for it, I'm blaming myself. Minghao, it's all my fault.

Honestly, I was too expectant. Gosh... I was way too ahead of myself that day. Our friendly hangout in my head was a date.

After you invited me and told me that you'd come to pick me up in 30 minutes, I rolled out of my college dormitory bed and rushed everything. I did my hair, makeup, and tried to dress prettily for you.

I did my best in that short amount of time but the only thing you complimented was my outfit. Sure, I was happy, but also disappointed. I was bummed because I didn't even have a chance to breathe, meanwhile, you were looking as fashionable as ever with almost no effort.

The museum was fun. I always had a knack for art so everything was admirable and lovely. What made it better was that I was able to spend that time with you. We shared our thoughts with each other but to me, you looked way too serious. I should have gotten the hint then that you didn't feel the same way about me as I did toward you.

Suddenly, this lump started forming on my chest and I just felt like I should get it off. I didn't want to hold back anymore so after walking around the art museum, the words just slipped out of my mouth.

Then you went silent while staring at me.

“I'm sorry.”

I said it was fine then because I thought I was really fine with the rejection. But just a bit after, I realized that I couldn't ride in the same car as you. I wouldn't be able to. Everything came flooding back into my brain, the memories of us that I thought were memorable. That's why I told you to leave first. I'm sure you knew that we both were uncomfortable.

After you left, I just sort of... reminisced our sweet moments that seemed romantic enough to make us more than friends. I did that while taking a walk.

I especially remembered the days when we went shopping, worked together after courses and talked about our days. Even these things that seem so small held so many memorable things to me, including moments that made my heart pound and race.

Since you rejected me, friend-zoning me, I can only conclude that you don't like me back, thus the conclusion that these moments meant nothing more than acts of kindness.

Minghao, you shouldn't be so kind, or else people would misunderstand you, like me. Why must you be so attractive? You're masculine but at the same time, you can become so soft and cute and caring.

Anyway, at this point, you've probably lost interest in reading this letter (if you ever read it). I hope you'll trudge on though as I keep going forward with the reminiscing. I know that you like reading, Minghao.

So, when we went to the bookstore, there was something memorable that happened to me there.

Yes, it made my heart pound too.

Yes, it made me fall harder for you.

I was really sleepy that day. All the college work piling up only made me more stressed and I was so tired. You didn't know that I was, did you?

I ended up falling asleep at a table while you were choosing books.

When I woke up, I saw your face. It wasn't upside down, you were sitting next to me, with your head lying against the table, facing me. It's still a question to me why you did that when you could have just woken me up or sat somewhere else, but well, you rejected me.

You and I just stared at each other. I was wondering then, what were you thinking?

At that time, I didn't know how you felt about me, so every little thing was hope. Your face was so close to mine and our bodies were against each other slightly. I was able to feel your warm breath.

“Are you wide awake now?” You asked.

Minghao, when you asked that, I honestly got the feeling that you were nervous because you quickly got up and removed the book you have placed under my head while I was sleeping.

You? Nervous? I guess I was wrong.

Even now, I feel a bit hopeful that maybe sometimes, I did make your heart race, but that's all just false hope.

We went clothes shopping around a month ago.

You wanted to get some new hats and I tagged along because we were friends. While picking hats, we were talking about normal stuff that we always talk about, so I was busy with that conversation. I was talking to you while looking at hats and then suddenly, I felt a hat plop down on my head.

When I turned around, I nearly bumped into your chest. Your hand was still on my head, where the hat was placed. I was so nervous and my whole body was burning up, you know that?

After that, you had to attack again with your soft giggles and smile, making me completely melt.

Then, you took off the hat and patted my head and ruffed my hair, then continued the conversation as if you didn't just do that to me. Of course, you probably never knew how I felt.

This is the last one, I promise.

I picked this one carefully.

That day after courses. It was a rainy afternoon and we were together at the library, studying and working together.

It was getting dark but we didn't expect the rain so we didn't take umbrellas with us. We ended up staying at the library for hours, just talking.

That was the important, special part of this memory.

We talked a lot and I was happy. You made a lot of jokes and I learned a lot more about you. You also smiled a lot. I was just really happy to be around you, talking about your life and mine.

I don't know why this one is the most memorable for me. I just always, constantly, remember the scene of us sitting at a table in the library, talking to each other beside a window painted with raindrops.

I don't know if you felt it but to me, it seemed more like we were flirting.

Minghao, now that I've reached the near end of this letter, I think I've decided the future for us.

Let's not stay friends. I don't want to fall for you. I don't want to love you. Being your friend would only make it worse for both of us since you didn't feel the same way.

You asking me to your b-boy competitions, you asking me to look at your art projects, it was all just normal things that friends would do but I overreacted.

It's all my fault and I'm sorry for it. I'm sorry and I know that I can't fix our friendship. I was such a fool.

Minghao, I hope you can find a better friend than me; A friend that doesn't misunderstand you, a friend that can love you without falling for you romantically, a friend that can be better than me.

My love stories always have a bittersweet ending so don't worry, you're not the only guy.

Thank you for being my friend for a year. I really appreciate it. You were a great buddy, fun, kind, serious, and caring.

I'm sorry for being this way.

I'm sorry for what I did, though I can't take back my confession.

I shouldn't have fallen in love, right?

Sincerely,

Y/N

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

7/1/21 - 10:28 pm

a/n: Get well! Wishing our best leader a healthy recovery!!! + it's the month of July, which means... Wonwoo's bday (and my sister's). + Ending fairy Boo = iconic ><

[xenolithium]

Silent Confidence (America & Romano)

Lovino rubbed furiously at his eyes, listening absentmindedly to the clicking of his own heels as he sped off down the hall. What a joke, what a fucking joke. Was repeating itself over and over in his mind. He was the one who put all the effort into that presentation, not his brother and yet no one bothered to let him speak!

He turned a corner, just barely ducking past a startled Tolys as he did so. Continuing to walk, even when the other said something to him in concern for his well-being. Though the brunet didn't seem to care enough to follow, simply letting him be as he tried to find some place quiet to sit and have himself a cry. 

Some people called someone like him over dramatic and over emotional. And he told people like that to shove it. He didn't need to hear shit from those who barely gave a rat's ass about him. 

He swung open a random door with a clack, hoping it wasn't a broom closet as he hadn't been paying attention but luckily it wasn't. It was a small break room that most of the other nations seemed to be avoiding, or perhaps they didn't know it was there. It was decked out with everything one might need to relax for a few moments. It had a fridge, counter space, stove, sink, kettle, microwave, the whole nine yards. In the center of the room, currently bathed in sunlight from large windows nearby was a couple of couches, facing each other on either side of a coffee table. Lovino's eyes froze in their exploration as they landed on a person's form. 

Alfred was sprawled out across one of the couches, his suit jacket and tie cast aside. From the doorway, Lovino could see he was fast asleep. Sunlight dotting his thick blonde lashes and his hand rising and falling where it was placed atop his stomach. He stretched slightly in response to Lovino slamming the door open, but otherwise he remained unaware of his surroundings. 

"Idiot. What the hell is he doing here?" He whispered to himself as he closed the door a little bit more softer than he did when opening it. Walking up towards the plush carpet in the center of the room and plopping himself on the couch across from America. From there he crossed his arms and glared daggers into the sleeping American's face, tears still brimming his eyes as he silently blamed Alfred for all his problems even if that wasn't true in the slightest. He still didn't try to help though!

Alfred twitched again in his sleep, his lips parting to make way for his tongue momentarily before he turned his head towards Lovino and went still. "Where's your stupid brother, huh? The maple bastard. Doesn't he know you're here?" He asked, but garnered no response to no one's surprise. Alfred was out cold and it would take much more than a few mumbled words to get him going again. Though Lovino didn't expect a response, nor did he care for one. "Did he ditch you because you've got shit for brains? Wouldn't blame him, you're a fucking loser." For some reason it felt good to curse and insult someone without having any negative repercussions. It was almost therapeutic in fact.  

Lovino laughed wetly under his breath, "no response? Whatever, I bet someone like you couldn't come up with anything worth my time any way." He swallowed thickly, wiping his tears from his eyes again. "So how was the meeting? Pretty great, huh? It's pretty fucking great that no one notices the work I do!" He slapped a hand over his mouth and stiffened when Al shifted again, holding his breath and cursing himself internally for being too loud. But when Alfred stilled, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Don't fucking wake up, you hear me, asshole? I'm not done telling you how shitty you are." This time his voice was a bit strained and muffled by his hand, but it's not as if it mattered since no one was listening. 

He stared for a moment after saying that, his gaze growing more and more blurry as he focused on Alfred's face. His stupid, dumb, beautiful face. Why was he crying? It's not as if it was that big a deal. He sniffled, his chest shaking as his body was wracked with silent sobs. Curling in on himself a little as he let his emotions wash over him, gripping his thighs with his hands until they turned white. 

"Someone like you couldn't do anything, you understand that, America? Nobody notices you, nobody cares. You're just this expendable loser that gets tossed aside in favour of your brother, every single time." He paused to swallow and take a breath before continuing. "Even when you try your best, no one cares. You got that? You got that?" He closed his eyes, taking in shaky breaths to try in vain to reel in his emotions, but nothing of the sort ended up happening. "Nobody loves you…"

When Lovino finally got himself to look back at Alfred, he was making a face in his sleep. Not of anger or hurt, but concern, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to understand whatever was happening in his dream. His lips parting again as he whispered something. "Don't - don't say that...don't say that. I love you."

Lovino's heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as he stared at Al in shock, having not been expecting a response, let alone that. Even if the words themselves weren't genuine, they were enough to have him quiet down his sobbing and stare at the man across from him in disbelief. "What?" He whispered dumbly, jumping when suddenly the room was overcome with a loud beeping. 

Alfred suddenly slamming his hand down on the phone next to him to shut it up as he opened his eyes. "Already?" He mumbled to himself, sitting up and stretching before turning to look at Lovino, blinking stupidly for a moment until he realized something was missing, picking up his glasses from where they were resting next to his phone to put them on. He then returned to starring for a moment before putting on his usual stupid grin and waving lazily, "yo, what's up?"

"Don't, yo what's up me, shit stain!" He snapped, Alfred not phased in the slightest by his grouchy attitude as he tried to hide that he had been crying. 

"What crawled up your butt and died?"

"I could ask the same of you!"

"Wait…" Alfred trailed off and Lovino stiffened, thinking for a moment that Alfred had heard all the things he had been saying to him while he had been asleep, feeling almost guilty because he hadn't meant them (not towards Alfred any way.) "I didn't think anyone noticed!" He whined, seemingly embarrassed over something. 

"Noticed what?" Lovino asked exasperatedly, unsure of what the hell America was on about. 

"My stomach really hurt, okay? I didn't mean to." It took Lovino a second to realize what the hell Al was saying, but when he did he picked up the nearest object (which happened to be a stapler) and threw it at his head. 

"You're disgusting! Maybe if you didn't eat nothing but garbage that wouldn't have happened!"

Alfred caught the stapler in midair, placing it next to him with a pout. "I don't eat garbage."

"Yes you do. I see the shit you eat!"

"If you wanted some, you could've just asked~"

"In your dreams, as if I want to smell like a walking landfill everywhere I go!" 

There was a silence between them as the only thing that filled the air around them was Alfred's laughter. Lovi glaring at him while he laughed until he felt something tug at his own lips, rubbing at his eyes as he let the carefree atmosphere wash over him. 

"Why were you crying though?" The blonde male suddenly piped up. This was one of the few moments when Lovino wished Al was actually as stupid as he acted sometimes.

"I wasn't crying."

"Uh huh and the sky isn't blue."

"Don't sass me."

There was another bout of silence as Alfred leaned back and crossed his arms, raising a brow and waiting for Lovino to continue with something more but that never happened. Instead he was met with the Italian turning to look at anything but him. 

"Well it has to be something."

"That something is none of your fucking business." 

Alfred sighed, realizing he wasn't getting anywhere fast and he probably wouldn't be anytime soon. Why did he feel like he missed out on something important while he was fast asleep? 

"Fine, keep your secrets," Al shrugged, Lovino seeming disappointed in the fact that he gave up so quickly but not pushing him to continue pestering him either. "Anyway, our break is over soon."

"That's nice," Lovino snapped. 

"Are you going back to the meeting?"

"No." Lovino turned to glare at something outside one of the windows. "It's not like I'm needed any way."

Alfred blinked in understanding, realizing he was being given a hint here, even if it was small and off-handed. "Who told you that?"

"No one had to tell me."

"So then you don't really know if it's true."

"..." Lovino opened his mouth, but then promptly closed it again. Not really knowing how to respond to this. His lips pressed tightly together as he thought those words over. "What exactly did I do to make anyone think otherwise?"

"What exactly do I do to make anyone think otherwise?" Alfred repeated, raising a brow. 

Lovino barked a laugh, "I think we all want to know the answer to that question."

"Lovino, I'm being serious."

"You're America for fucks sake, what kind of question is that? I'm not even half a country," Lovino immediately argued, making an exaggerated gesture at the blonde male to accentuate his point.

"So? It's not like I'm doing anything different from you in a meeting. I don't get the red carpet rolled out for me, we all sit down and do our thing. Besides, your presentation was really good."

That last comment caused Lovino to grow stiff once more, but this time out of shock. As he inspected Alfred curiously, trying to figure out what secrets he held to be able to know such information. "You knew it was mine?"

"Yeah?" It took Alfred a moment to realize why he didn't think that was the case. "Just because your brother presented it, doesn't mean it's not your work. I can figure out your handiwork from a mile away. I mean you used to work for me, remember? I don't forget that kinda thing."

Lovino was blushing softly, staring down at his hands which were placed in his lap snugly as he took in this information. To think Alfred bothered to remember little things like that about him made his heart feel warm. Sniffling as he relaxed his shoulders and finally felt a little better about himself and what he had done. Because someone had acknowledged it. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

"I'm not repeating myself asshole, open your ears next time," he huffed. "I didn't think you were creepy enough to remember things like that though."

Alfred chuckled, "well, I am. So, since we're ditching the meeting--"

"We're?"

"Yeah, since we're ditching the meeting, how about we stuff our faces!"

"I thought you said your stomach hurt?" Lovino replied suspiciously, squinting at him in annoyance.

"So?"

Lovino stared at him for a long moment in disbelief, before sighing. "Fine, but I'm choosing what we eat."

"Sounds good to me~"

"Anything food related sounds good to you," Lovino spat.

Alfred grinned at him with that wide, friendly, pearly white grin he gave everyone it seemed. But despite knowing that, he found himself attempting to give one back. Even if it was wonky and hardly noticeable. To others he was still mostly scowling, but it was that quiet effort that Al seemed to key in on the most. 

"See? Now you're getting somewhere!" He jumped up and reached over to give the Italian a pat on the back. Which was way more rough than Lovino wanted a pat to be (curse America's ripped, muscly body that he never got to see) and also unwanted. He quickly shoved Al's hand away, glaring at him for suddenly thinking it was a good idea to touch him. Alfred chuckling sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head as Lovino got up and cussed him out under his breath before storming towards the door. America watched him like a lost puppy, thinking that now the whole ditching the meeting to eat brunch was off the table because of what he did. 

"Well? Are you coming, shit stain? Hurry up before I leave you behind."

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just let me get my stuff," Alfred said, his smile returning, quickly reaching around the room for all his belongings. 

"That's it, I'm leaving you behind."

"Lovi! No, Lovi, wait!" He called as the Italian left the break room. Smirk upon his lips, having completely forgotten the reason he was crying in the first place. Well, not completely, but enough to start feeling good about himself again. Stupid American and his stupid words that always had him feeling better about himself. Did he even realize he was doing it?

---

A random plot bunny that came to me the other day and I finished this morning. I don't know why this specific scenario came to me, but it did lol!

Al wasn't dreaming about Lovi when he said he loved him, btw. He thought Matt was telling him all that. But we can pretend. XD

[writing-fool]

Hey, real stressed out right now, if you're not too busy can I get the Mlqc boys with a stressed out s/o? I'm in some need of some serotonin, love your work x

mlqc | so will i

Hi hun, I’m very sorry to hear that. I hope you’ll feel better soon. If this doesn’t end up giving you enough serotonin, I have something a little similar up on my blog: here

That said, I think I’m becoming a comfort writer, and I can’t really complain about that. So, here’s a couple of quick and loving headcanons for each boy.

Much love,

R.

Victor

Victor isn’t actually all that cold as a husband anyways (and we ALL know author Ré likes their moody boys just a little gooey) 

but when you’re stressed? oh boy this gentleman is ready to do anything in his power to make you feel better

he was deadass about to buy a whole spa before you stopped him and told him you just need him to hold you

“Oh. I...guess I can do that.” be careful, this man will not let you go until you feel better

as an excellent chef, he’s also The Person to ask when you need comfort food

mac & cheese? you got it. congee? already done. chicken noodle soup? yes yes.

the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach and mine is currently growling

on occasion, he’ll be the cause of your stress, and while he doesn’t want to favour you over his other employees necessarily, he does understand that sometimes you need a break

for once, he’ll be the one pulling you from your work

how does he notice you’re stressed? your reports become dangerously subpar. sorry hun, it’s the truth

if you don’t listen to him and keep working yourself to near death, he’ll just have to use drastic measures

did he swing you over his shoulder? yup.

did you low-key enjoy it because his ass is Immaculate? also yup. 

he knows you like it when he pampers you, so when you’re stressed out, he’ll run you a nice bath with expensive oils and soaps

he’ll wash your back for you, digging his large fingers into those knots at the nape of your neck

afterwards, Vic will brush your hair for you, making sure you’re all cozy in your fluffy robe

he doesn’t like to admit it, but seeing you relax warms his heart and makes up for all the mediocre reports you write

Lucien

our favourite perceptive professor notices right away

i mean, everyone has tells when they start getting stressed out, and Lucien knows yours like the back of his hand

sometimes, he even notices before you do. how does that even happen?

prepare for the endless amounts of chamomile tea he’ll make you drink

Lucien’s very supportive of what you do, but he also reminds you that you need to rest like a filthy hypocrite~

so he’ll jot down cheeky notes in your agenda

14:00 / come have a relaxing walk in the park with me. ~L

7:30 early morning online meeting 8:00 have a lie-in with your favourite scientist. for research purposes, of course

you confront him about it and he’s just staring at you with this innocent look that’s absolutely illegal because you’re not innocent Lucien, not in the slightest i won’t believe it i’m not going to fall for it—damnit i fell for it

“Am I not allowed to take care of my little flower?”

is really good at clearing your schedule

like, suspiciously good

he’ll probably help you with anything you’ve got going on regarding paperwork, and instead of having to do research for a production, a whole stack of highlighted and marked articles will already be on your desk, waiting for you to quickly sift through everything

on a more serious note, he does know a lot about destressing and ways to relax

so he’ll suggest practicing mindfulness together, or something similar 

from experience, these things may sound silly, but breathing exercises or meditation can really just refocus your brain on the tasks at hand to lessen stress. obviously though, this is all very personal

but he knows he can’t love your negative emotions away, so most importantly, he’s always there for you

whether it is to listen to you rant, to give advice or even just to soothingly rub his thumb over your shoulder

Lucien’s always right next to you, and that’s one less thing to worry about

Gavin

Birdcop! lately i’ve been associating him with bnha’s Hawks/Keigo, and i don’t know how to feel about that. but i digress

Gavin’s not the quickest to pick up on your emotions

like, he knows there’s something going on because his mind is filled with you all day, but he can’t really decipher what’s wrong

will just straight up ask you what’s going on, how you’re feeling, etc

i always turn Gavin into this really understanding and communicative, healthy relationship poster boy, but y’all deserve it

“Babe? Are you feeling alright?”

if the answer is no, this man just clears his schedule for a week, or a month, or a whole year Gavin you can’t ignore your responsibilities don’t—

not really, but he does go out of his way to spend more time with you

clocks out earlier, only does missions that require him,...

flies to you the moment he’s got time to spare

does so recklessly. gets caught by some people who, fortunately, are convinced it’s just some very weird humanoid bird. gets reprimanded by STF. does not care.

at home he doesn’t really do more than give you space when you need it, offer a listening ear when you need that. he’s really not doing anything grand, because that’s not really Gavin, but he lets you know that he cares, and that’s good enough.

Gavin will force Minor to look out for you at work, and will stage a freakin’ intervention if you’re getting overworked

“MC, you’re getting kidnapped.” wraps you into a blanket like a burrito and flies home with you in his arms

actually flying seems like a relaxing thing to do, especially at night

when the stars are twinkling, the moon is glowing, and you’re high above the city, all your problems seem just a little smaller

Kiro

the chances of him not knowing you’re feeling bad aren’t very small

he’s obviously very busy, and if he’s overseas...

being concerned that you’re going to be lonely without him like he is without you does make him call you as often as he possibly can

he’s a clingy pupper, what can i say

he picks up the stressed out tone in your voice though, even when you try to hide it

“Oh, Miss/Mr. Chips, you can’t fool me, The Best Actor Of All Time. Now, tell me...are you alright?” imagine him saying that last bit in like a hushed, slightly worried tone. i wouldn’t even be able to lie

he’ll let you complain as long as you want on the phone, even when Savin’s been calling him

he’ll just hide in the closet so he doesn’t get found

when he goes back home, the first thing he does is trap you in a big hug

he refuses to let you go, pouting about how worried he was, and how much better he’ll make you feel

“Because I’m your brightest star after all!”

if he’s free while you’re feeling stressed, for example, when you’re at home together, he’ll do something silly to cheer you up

like dance on the coffee table

yup. that’s why it broke.

i don’t think he’d be too focused on your problems, as in, he doesn’t need to know 100% of what’s going on

Kiro just kind of zooms in on the fact that you’re feeling sad, overwhelmed, stressed out, and he’ll do anything in his power to relieve that feeling

and that’s one of his qualities, to be fair

you’re not going to do stuff like have long chats about your feelings, but he is going to propose doing face masks together to calm down

maybe you’ll play a couple of video games together

at the end of the day, how could you worry when your sun is right next to you?

Shaw

look, i don’t know if you’re of legal drinking age...but Shaw’s coping mechanism is drinking and going out

so the moment you say you feel bad, he’s whipping out the wine, hun

lowkey wants to drag you to the club to make you forget about your problems...but even he realises how inappropriate that type of behaviour is

he’s actually a lot cuter when he’s a little tipsy

“Hm, beautiful.” “What?” “Nothing.”

Shaw’s also a huge diva, which is canon now you guys can’t stop me from making it canon

so you guys will have matching head bands on, face masks, glasses of wine, bottles of nail polish, talking about how horrible life is

you’re venting to him, and he vents back, and you just both come to the conclusion that life sUCKS, work sUCKS and Shaw...doesn’t suck at all

the next morning, you wake up slightly disheveled and a bit disoriented

but you feel significantly lighter

well, not physically, since there’s literally an arm slung around your waist

he doesn’t really change much about his behaviour...but you notice he’s a tad more affectionate

and a lot less mean

like, forehead poking suddenly turned into teasing hair ruffling.

tickling turns into soft kisses in the crook of your neck while you’re cooking

his rough hands intertwine with yours

“Don’t just overwork yourself, stupid.”

ahh, his words don’t match his actions at all

I had very little inspiration for Shaw...but I wanted to get this out ASAP. Feel free to send in any requests!

[anti-plexus]

Title: Snowfall

Warnings: Mentions of death and a butt-ton of angst.

————

————

The wind howled as I stepped outside onto the porch. A compact layer of snow blanketed the land around me, covering my immediate world in white. It was still in the clove of seasons, but snow somehow managed to creep up on our desolate town of Cold Creek, Alaska.

Alaska was a beautiful place, in the daytime, because when darkness fell, the monsters came. Cold Creek used to be a mining town. Every day we used to throw on our sackcloth bags and head out to the mines. What were we looking for? I couldn't be sure, but I never paid much attention to the material world. My mind always scattered itself before I could get even the tiniest grasp at reality. I shuddered when I remembered the mines, those dark passages that smelled of dust and sweat from the children who labored there day-in and day-out.

The town elders believed that the strange dust would be the cure, for everything. I remember asking Elder Jem about it once, but he effectively shut me down before I could get anywhere with my relentless questions. After that encounter, I opted to keep my mouth shut and find out the truth using a more devious way.

I can still hear the creaking sound of the floor in Elder Jem's house as I crept inside, but I, unfortunately, found nothing out of the ordinary in his house, just a shattered geode, a ruby geode. After that incident, I stopped snooping around, but I still kept my questions hidden in the back of my mind. The only thing I remember the Elders saying about the dust was that it was called Z-1b23. Z-1b23 was a sort of dust, a cloud of silvery-white dust, that seemed to permeate the air in the mines. It was something that glittered if you looked at it right. That alone made it special.

The frozen chicken tasted slimy in my mouth when I remembered her. I could see her standing in front of me, smiling her crooked smile just as she used to. Not that long ago I had a sister named Anna. Anna and I would go together to 'harvest' every day. I felt proud to say that those were the best days of my life. Until she went missing one silent, winter night and I was the first one to find her.

Anna was an eccentric, she was crazy, she saw the meanings, she saw the motive, and her gift eventually cracked her open and we found her one night, slit open like a geode. A ruby stained geode. With her ruby geode pieces resting all around her. If it wasn't so horrifying it would have been invigorating. Now we just work harder in the mines, because the town elders believed Z-1b23 caused Anna's craziness. I didn't believe them, Anna was too smart to jump off the old silo and splat. I know she didn't do it because she would have wished to go out in a more Anna way, in a way that screamed "F*** you, world!". I know that because she would have jumped in front of everyone and she would have smiled the whole way down. That would have been very "Anna".

Now, the mines are off-limits, closed. Like the residents of Cold Creek wanted to forget, forget the accidents that seemed to happen daily. I didn't have a problem with the new development, but I couldn't help, but wonder "What happened that night?". It seemed silly at times, but I kept coming back, back to the mines, back to that cursed silo that took Anna from me. But what could I do? I was just a sick, crazy sixteen-year-old with voices in my head that never left me alone. That was one of the only things I and Anna had in common, although Anna's voices were even more violent than mine.

One winter night, I lay in bed, unable to sleep. The voices surrounded me, getting louder and louder as the night wore on.

"Find her" one voice whispered.

"Yes, FIND HER" another voice agreed.

Why did I have to find her? Anna's gone. I went to her funeral, even though there wasn't a body to pay respects to. We all saw it, I can't get it out of my head. Her shattered body, a body that I used to hug without a care in the world. The sad thing was that she never hugged back, she didn't even acknowledge me! Why?! Why was I never good enough? I thought sisters were supposed to love each other unconditionally.

"You'll never be good enough..." A voice whispered. "End it! So you can see her!"

More voices chimed in. A demonic chorus, branding themselves into my brain.

"Join Her!"

"JOIN HER"

I shot up in bed. My feet hit the frozen floor moments later. My door creaked open. The hallway was dim, with only a few oil lamps to light the way. I passed Anna's bedroom at the foot of the stairs. Our house had died a long time ago, and Anna's room was the epicenter of a life-devoid fear. I shuddered at the thought of what lurked behind that vintage mahogany door. Although, I wouldn't have minded facing it if I could get to see Anna one last time. Anything for one last time...

The stairs creaked from the weight of my body as I silently scurried downstairs. I put on my coat, hat, boots, and mittens before silently trudging outside. The pure snow crackled slightly as I made my way through the dense cluster of evergreens. Finally, I had arrived. The old mine loomed ahead, dark and foreboding, even though the bright moon had been up for countless hours. I could just taste the tension. It was sickening.

Suddenly, I heard something splinter behind me and I quickly whirled around. Behind me lay a stick, broken in half, like something was behind me, stalking me. The night felt even more numb as the realization appeared. I shouldn't have come.

Now the monsters had found me and there was no way out, except death.

Another cracking sound, then another. I was surrounded. I then felt a presence behind me, a withered obsidian hand, reaching for my trembling frame. I ran. My lungs burned from the chase and the monsters sensed my yielding body. They could catch me. No, they would catch me! I frantically looked around, hoping to find a shelter, anything to get away!

"The mines! Go to the mines!" A voice hurriedly shouted as the pounding chorus grew and grew. So, that's what I did. I pushed my legs harder, faster. Until I dove in-between the rusted planks that kept everyone away, the planks that had just saved my small, sniveling life. The monsters growled from the other side. Growls and snarls that promised a painful death should I ever return to Cold Creek again. I was an outsider now, I had broken the sacred law and I would pay if I ever returned.

I was fine with that, though. Because this would be my last night anyway. Would the mines kill me? Or would she do that for me? I called for her, my shrill cries echoing through the midnight passages. Where was she? Did she... abandon me? No, she wouldn't. She promised. She always kept her promises. I was just overreacting, of course, I would find her, it was just a matter of time.

I slowly trudged down the moonlit tunnel. The Z-1b23 glowed on the sides of every tunnel, lighting my path with a soft white glow. Then I reached the epicenter of the mine, a spacious cavern that glowed as if it had its own personal sun. And there she stood, in the middle of the cave. Surrounded by heavens glow on all sides.

The air would have smelled faintly of rushing water if water had a smell. It was disheartening that Anna looked better dead than alive. She never shone like this, her eyes were always baggy after every sleepless night she endured months before the accident. Now her brown eyes looked like pools of delectably steamed chocolate and her black hair seemed to sway slightly, though there was no breeze.

She was beautiful, like a perfect picture or even a doll. Looking at her now, she seemed more like a doll than a human. I stared at her for a couple of seconds before her appearance changed. Her long hair suddenly became matted and unkempt and her eyes slowly disappeared until they were gone altogether. The state of her body was by far the worst of all, jagged cracks zigzagged the expanse of her lithe form. She looked like a geode, a geode that had been broken and put together again. Then her body flickered and she was back to "normal". I stood frozen in shock.

She eyed me up and down silently. Her eyes flickering from my face to my clothes in a matter of seconds, examining me, finding my weak spot. Then she would end me, once and for all. I braced myself for the inevitable blow, Anna once told me death only hurts for a second and I felt compelled to listen to her statement. Now the air was changing and the smell of water disappeared, only to be replaced by decaying roses

"Why?" She asked.

I stiffened. "Anna? What do you mean?"

She smiled crookedly. It was a cold smile like she knew something. Something I didn't. "Do you remember?"

"Remember what?" I asked as I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What was Anna talking about?

"I guess you wouldn't. After all, it wasn't you, just a fragment." Was all she said. "I guess you wouldn't remember the adrenaline, the insanity of watching me drop. Tell me, did you come to make sure it was finished? Or did you run like the coward you are?"

My head ached the more she talked, my palms were sweaty and my face was flushed. Suddenly I was assaulted by the memories, the memories of that night, that fateful night. I did it. It was my fault!

"A-Anna! I'm so sorry!"

"Welcome home.". Was all she said before darkness engulfed me and I was left alone, to wallow in my sins. Finally, I felt at peace. The voices surrounded me, whispering nonsense. They really hated me, didn't they? But, I simply took a breath, in and out, in and out. A calm settled over me, trapping me in its fuzzy embrace. The voices slowly subsided until it was just me. Just me and no one else. Life sometimes sucked, but it was moments like these that helped and I was happy. Happy that I didn't have to deal with the pain and fear. I smiled. I was home, for the first time in many years.

Thank you, Anna.

————

I wrote this in 2019, so it might be a little different than my current writing style, but I hope you all enjoyed regardless! :)

[lunaofthevalley]

The Little Mermaid of Manhattan |||

Peter Parker x Reader

Plot: Peter is saved by a Myster girl one day at the park, and he will stop at nothing to find her.

Note: If you'd like to be tagged comment down below or send me an ask. Also I'm opening up requests for imagines and Ships, if anyone is interested in that💜

For the past week, Life decided it would deal Y/N a good hand. She and Peter had managed to work out some of the details of their Drama Project, they've been doing great actually.

Much like Betty had suggested they chose a scene from The Little Mermaid, but that was more due to the fact they didn't actually find any other decent scene with a mute character. At least it worked.

And that's what they were doing right now, practicing. They were sitting in Y/N's living room floor, the TV playing the scene they had chosen to do from the film, their notebooks, in which they had written out the scene, sat on the small coffee table, where snacks and drinks were also present.

Both had agreed that the best scene to do was when Ariel and Eric met again at the beach, after Ariel's transformation. They didn't realize it at the time, or well maybe Y/N did a bit, but the scene had many parallels with real life, how Eric (Peter) is looking for the girl who saved him, with out realizing that she's right in front of him.

"So... I guess we could use a...desk for the rock," Peter suggested.

Y/N thought about if for a second before writing it down on her board, 'Yea I guess that works,' she quickly erased the message after Peter saw it and wrote something else down, 'We could also use a beanbag, there's lots of those in the classroom, more comfortable.'

"That would work great actually, there's even a gray one, so it will resemble a rock with out us even trying to make it look like a rock."

Y/N nodded eagerly in agreement after remembering said bean bag. She had become mor comfortable around him the past week. She was weary at first, afraid that he would realize it was her that day at the park, but Peter was as clueless as Eric, maybe even more so. She had actually enjoyed the week, getting to know him more and finding out he was a pretty cool guy, quite dorky, but still cool.

"Hey Y/N/N, what about wardrobe, how should we dress?" He asked.

'I'm not wrapping a piece of fabric around myself,' she wrote in reply.

Peter let out what you could call a giggle, it was quite adorable. "I wasn't suggesting that. Maybe you could wear a beige dress, that is if you own one and we could tie some rope around it."

'Yea that works. You just need a white button up, some jeans and a red cloth.' She showed him the board and he nodded in agreement. She then turned the board around and wrote something else before showing it to him.

"Ahh yes, can't forget the black boots. Most important part of the outfit," He said sarcastically.

Y/N made a face at him and he just grinned in return.

"Well, if I have to use the black boots, then you have to wear a wig."

Y/N pretended to be insulted, 'what's wrong with my beautiful hair?'

Peter rolled his eyes, "There is nothing wrong with your hair, I just think that if we really want to sell the scene we both need to be in full costume, and for you that includes a bright red wig." He explained, "Plus I really want to know what you would look like as a red head."

'I would look terrible as a red head.'

Peter thought about it for a second, "Yea maybe you might. All I'm imagining right now is you looking like some off-brand Weasley sibling."

Y/N leant back in shock and then proceeded to throw handfuls of popcorn at Peter.

"Hey...no...stop it...it was a joke" he said in between laughs, "I'm sorry."

Both of them were now doubled over in laughter, a mess of popcorn lying around them, the faint sound of kiss the girl played in the background.

After calming down Y/N looked at her phone to see the time as Peter began picking up popcorn.

'Hey, wanna have a quick lunch break, I can heat up the frozen pizza.' She wrote and showed it to Peter.

"Sounds good, I'm actually super hungry. While you do that I'll clean up this mess." He gestured to the popcorn.

He stood up and held out his hand which Y/N gladly took and he helped her to stand up. Y/N made her way to the kitchen to start preparing the pizza while Peter went to get the broom from the supply closet. Y/N decided to listen to some music while she waited for the pizza to be ready, she set it down on the counter, putting her music on shuffle.

Peter was just finishing up cleaning the popcorn when he heard it. The song he's been endlessly thinking about since that day in the park. After listening to it for a few seconds longer he determined it was indeed the same song.

He slowly made his way to the kitchen where he found Y/N putting the pizza in the stove. Y/N turned to him and noticed he had a faraway look on his face as he stared at something. Y/N followed his line of sight and she saw he was staring at her phone, and that's when it clicked.

The song.

It was the same song she sang that day at the park, and Peter was realizing it.

"Y/N." he suddenly spoke. She turned to look back at him, his gaze was till on the phone, which was a good thing, he wouldn't realize she looked like a deer caught in headlights. "What's the name of that song?"

Y/N grabbed her board and slowly wrote down the title before handing the board to him. He gently took it and his eyes scanned over the title.

"Songbird." He said tentatively, as if testing out the name, "It's called Songbird. By Fleetwood Mac."

Y/N stood there like a scolded child, looking down at the floor as she bounced on her heels. Had he found out it was her? He hasn't said anything about the fact just yet so that made her hopeful.

She tried to think of why it would be such a horrible thing if Peter found out the truth, but she truly couldn't come up with an explanation.

Oh how she would love to have a Jamaican sounding Crab advisor right now.

After Peter had made peace with the name of the song he handed the board back to Y/N. "Sorry if that was strange. It's just I had heard that song before but I didn't know what it was called."

Y/N only nodded and wrote back 'it's okay.'

Thing had become slightly tense, so much that you could cut it with a knife. The only sound in the room came from Y/N's phone. They both just stood there awkwardly, neither knowing what to say. Their hunger and project far forgotten.

Peter was the first to speak up, "Hey um I think I'll go now. I think we made good progress."

Y/N only nodded and followed him to collect his stuff and then to walk him to the door. As Peter slung his back pack over his shoulder and grabbed his coat he turned back to Y/N.

"Hey um, I almost forgot to tell you but we can't meet up at my house tomorrow. I have to go do some spid- internship......yeah I mean internship stuff at the tower...so I asked Mr.Stark if you could go there to work and he said yes," he explained, "I'll...uh, text you the details later." And with that he was out the door, leaving Y/N to ponder over that information by herself.

She would be going to Stark tower tomorrow. That was.....great.

So much had happened in the last few minutes that her brain hadn't properly processed everything. Right now all she needed a warm slice of pizza and a sprite, she found these were the remedies to her existential life problems.

_______________________

She was having another existential life problem as she stared up at the huge tower before her.

She was currently standing outside the towers entrance, too afraid to go in, but it the end David needed to confront Goliath, so she walked through the doors.

She quickly sent a text to Peter to inform him that she had arrived. He replied a couple of minutes later telling her someone would be down shortly to get her.

After waiting a few more minutes a nice looking man in a suit appeared. He looked around the room before spotting her sitting down at one of the couches the lobby offered.

"Are you Y/N Y/L/N?" He asked.

Y/N nodded as she gathered her stuff and stood up.

"I'm Happy, the kid... I mean Peter sent me down to get you." He explained as he started walking back towards the elevator. Y/N quickly began to walk behind him, following him into the elevator. When the doors closed he turned to her and gave her a once over. "I'm taking you to a private floor, so no misbehaving, no touching stuff, no shouting, no screaming, no wandering, you stay where I leave you, capiche?"

Y/N nodded.

"Good, we got that clear." As he said that the doors of the elevator opened and Happy led Y/N out and towards a briefing room.

He opened the door and gestured for her to go in. "Alright so you'll be staying here Miss Y/L/N, and for your sake and mine please follow the previously stated rules. Peter is doing some....internship stuff, but he'll shortly be with you."

Y/N nodded again.

"Well that's all, goodbye." With that happy left and Y/N was left to her own devices, so she decided to do some of her other homework while she waited for Peter.

After 30 minutes had gone by with still no sign of Peter she decided to send him t to see where he was. She received a reply after a few minutes.

'Sorry for the delay, doing some last minute internship stuff, won't me much longer.'

She let out a big sigh. Maybe she shouldn't have come to the tower today, she could've been happily spending her Saturday at home watching Netflix, but instead she was holed up in a meeting room in stark tower waiting for Peter who was very late. She decided she would just keep working on her homework while she waited.

Even after finishing up all her other work, there was still no sign of Peter. It had been more than an hour already and Y/N was becoming really bored.

Seeing she was in a safe space she subconsciously began singing, starting with Part of your World which had been stuck in her head for the past week and then went on to sing Songbird.

She began quietly, barely audible, whispering it to herself, but after the first chorus she started singing a little louder, but not enough it would catch someone's attention. And then, just as she had finished the song she heard clapping. She quickly sat up straight and looked to the door, where Tony Stark was now standing.

"Has anyone ever told you, you have a very nice voice? Very nice, like honey for the ears."

Y/N could only stare at him with wide eyes. He had just heard her sing. But he couldn't know it was her right? He had arrived after she made her escape.

"Well I doubt it since apparently you're supposed to be mute. Peter told me when he asked if you could come over, and then Happy just told me a while ago about Peter's weird but very well educated mute friend." He walked over and sat in a chair in front of hers.

"You wanna know what else is weird? Peter was just telling me yesterday about that song. Songbird by Fleetwood Mac right? It's quite strange a 16 year old listens to Fleetwood Mac, I thought you kids were only into Justin Beaver and One Discretion."

She stared at him as he went on. What was he getting at? And did he say those names wrong on purpose or was that what he actually thought they were called?

"Anyway, its nice to know there's kids out there with good music taste." He said as he stared her down. "But you wanna know what has me flabbergasted? I feel like I've heard your voice before, which seems unlikely seeing as I've never met you before."

Y/N fidgeted in her seat, she could no longer look Tony in the eye.

"Hey I think I remember now where I've heard it before. Friday, play back Peter's suit recording from last weekend, the one taken after the spider slam dunk in the lake."

After a few seconds the room was filled with the sound of Y/N's voice again, only this time it wasn't her singing, but a muffled recording of her voice that was being played in the rooms speakers.

After the recording stopped playing Y/N slowly turned to look at Tony who had been gazing at her, studying her every move since the recording begun.

"Guessing by your reaction, which quite frankly makes it look like you want to vomit, I'll say I was right, and that in fact is you in the recording. But I think that was already obvious, not many kids now a days listen to good ol' Fleetwood Mac."

Tony then stood up and straightened out his suit and walked towards the door, but before he left he turned back to look at Y/N.

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me....Little Mermaid."

LMOM TAGS: @lunataehyung // @embrace-themagic // @theinsomniacsblog // @supernatural-kinda-girl // @my-name-chris // @cynicallystiles // @portgasddead // @wwenaie // @anotherasianfailure // @built4broadway // @pvnk-bivch // @lubrielx // @pukiebear-blog // @mooonymoo // @tonystolemyman // @metermarker // @tomsstarlight

PERM TAGS: @sighspidey

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[sassycassie-s-writing]

Snow Storm

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): Avengers/Loki

Rating: PG

Original Idea: I wrote this a couple days before Thanksgiving when this was going around Tumblr and picked one that would feasibly work.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) I very rarely write Loki one-shots on this blog. Often I submit them to Imagine Loki with one of their imagines, but this one was just all me without any of their inspiration. This is one of the longest one-shots I’ve ever written for this blog, just over 3,000 words. Because I felt the need to have context *blows raspberry*

^^^^^

Loki and I wrapped our coats tighter around our bodies and ran out of the store to my car, feeling snow lightly strike our faces. I unlocked the SUV from a few feet away and we piled in. I jammed the key in the ignition, turned it, and cranked up the heater. “Is this you?” I asked him as I struggled to find my seatbelt behind me, referring to the weather.

“I thought it was you,” he commented.

I gave him a sarcastic look. “I'm not a Frost Giant!” I retorted sarcastically.

If anyone else had said that to him, he probably would have unsheathed his dagger and stabbed them remorselessly. As it was, I said it—and for some reason he had a soft spot for me—so he actually grinned. “Alright, fair point,” he conceded.

“C’mon, let’s get this stuff over to Tony and Pepper before this storm gets any worse,” I said, backing out of the parking space and beginning the drive over to the secret Stark apartment near where Queens, Brooklyn, and Manhattan were closest to each other, but on the Queens/Brooklyn side of the river. In fact, the large apartment was in Queens but Brooklyn was close.

“I thought you were skilled at driving in the snow,” Loki pointed out. “You grew up in a place with bad winters, yes?”

“Oh yeah. I'm great at driving in the snow—even without four-wheel drive. I've been driving in the snow almost every winter since I was sixteen so I'm used to it. The problem is, a lot of other people in this city aren’t as used to it. And New York is so crammed that they don’t really have anywhere to put all the snow once it’s been plowed. That’s what worries me,” I replied, gripping my steering wheel so tight my knuckles were probably white under my gloves.

“Fair point,” Loki repeated.

I drove through the borough, hating every second of it. I was more comfortable that I wasn’t in Manhattan, but that didn’t mean I liked driving in New York. I really didn’t. I avoided it whenever possible.

We reached the secret New York side residence of Tony and his fiancée and dropped off several tote bags-worth of party supplies that he’d asked me to pick up for an event he refused to share any information for. I was guessing it was the Avengers Holiday Party. Tony thanked us and sent us on our way.

“I’ll take you back to your place,” I told Loki as we got in the car. In the last several minutes of unloading alone the snow had gotten heavier, now sticking more firmly to the ground.

“Alright,” Loki said as he did up his seatbelt.

Loki maintained an apartment in Queens that was as close to Manhattan as it could be—and he’d had it since before the Battle of New York several years before. I wasn’t sure why he had it, but he visited Earth enough to warrant keeping it, I guessed.

I pulled into his parking space—since he didn’t have a car and told me to—and parked the car. “Well, thanks for running so many errands with me today. I’ll see you… tomorrow, right?”

Loki peered out the window. “It’s really coming down out there,” he observed. “Why don’t you come in for a while? See if the storm slows down.”

“Nah. I'm fine,” I dismissed, convincing myself more than him.

“No. Seriously. I have a bad feeling about you driving all alone in the dark in a storm.”

“Loki—”

“Please,” he interrupted.

I blinked in surprise. Manners? From Loki? Well, that wasn’t too uncommon since he’d… reformed, for lack of a better word, but he sounded so sincere and genuinely concerned that it completely threw me off.

“I’ll make some cocoa too,” he added as an afterthought.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Okay. I’ll come in and wait for it to lighten up,” I relented.

As I turned the car off and searched the backseat for my bag with one arm bent awkwardly backward, Loki circled around the front of the car and opened my door for me. “My lady,” he said.

I snorted as I let him help me out so I wouldn’t fall. “Thank you, Your Highness,” I replied as I locked my car.

We both chuckled as he held my hand on the way inside since I nearly slipped on my car’s wet foothold. Once we were through the door a blast of heat hit us. I sighed with relief at the sensation of my skin thawing out. Loki let go of my hand to allow me to take off my gloves—and to press the call button for the elevator.

Up in his apartment, we shed our coats and Loki made cocoa—heating the milk on the stove instead of in the microwave. Which I thought was strange but decided not to say anything about. Some people just made hot cocoa that way. I'd seen it before but it was still strange.

While the milk was heating up he dug out a wonderfully soft green blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Your face is red,” he observed, leaning against the counter across from me.

“Just cold,” I replied with a shrug.

When he finished the cocoa, he handed me a mug. I wrapped my hands around it, absorbing as much heat from it as I could.

He held up the TV remote. “You don’t mind do you? Just want to check the weather.”

“Not at all. Go ahead.”

He turned on the TV and flicked it over to the ten o’clock news. “—freak snowstorm that’s currently hitting New York City. The worst of it seems to be in Queens, which is great for all those in Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Staten Island, but not so much for those in Queens. Since this one sprang from nowhere, we can’t estimate an inch-amount, but given how hard it’s coming down right now, I'd say we might reach over a foot of snow. I hope everyone’s home and safe or following reasonable precautions. It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up at all tonight, so sorry to anyone who had plans,” the weather lady said.

Loki turned the TV off. “That doesn’t sound good,” he remarked nonchalantly.

I chewed my lip, nervous. “Maybe I should head home before it gets any worse,” I muttered.

“No. Just wait and see if it lets up a little. If it doesn’t, you're more than welcome to stay here.”

“Thanks Loki, but really, I should get home.”

“You just got here. At least finish your cocoa first,” he protested.

I took a sip of the mostly-full mug. “Okay,” I relented.

“While you're here, is it alright if I pick your brain a bit?” he asked.

“Sure. Can’t guarantee I’ll be any help, but sure.”

He grinned. “Thank you. I, er, I was wondering how you maintain your relationship with your family. Mine is just sort of… always in chaos. And since my mother died a few years ago… nothing’s been the same.”

I pursed my lips and nodded, taking a sip of the cocoa—which was delicious—to give myself a moment to think. “Really the best way is open communication and unconditional love.”

Loki scoffed. “Open communication has never been my family’s forte,” he informed me.

“That explains why it’s so chaotic,” I said, punctuating my point with another drink.

We talked a while more while I drank my cocoa. Loki sipped at his but didn’t seem too invested in it. I guessed it was because he was a Frost Giant under his Asgardian appearance and too much heat was probably uncomfortable for him. I didn’t ask if I was right or not, because no one was allowed to ask him about being a Frost Giant, not even me.

At some point we migrated from the kitchen to the living room, sitting next to each other on the sofa almost too close for anyone else’s comfort. We just always had done so since we felt safe in each other’s company—neither of us would judge the other.

Loki wrapped his arm around me as we stared out the window. If anything, the snow was just falling harder.

“Why did you choose me?” Loki asked.

“What do you mean?”

“When you first joined the Avengers, you made friends with everyone, and yet time and again you choose to spend your time with me—the maniac who destroyed half of Manhattan. Why?”

I made a face. “We’re more alike than you think,” I admitted.

Loki snorted. “I don’t think we could be any more different, darling. You're kind and sweet and gentle. And I'm—”

“Cold and bitter?” I suggested. Loki nodded. I scoffed. “Perhaps you are. But Thor has told me many stories of your childhood. You were undoubtedly the nicer of the two of you. I know what it’s like to be the younger sibling of a person who takes up all the attention of everyone else, trust me. I may not be as broken as you are, but I'm not as whole as you think.” I brushed my hair out of my face. The snow had made the top of it slightly damp. Then I set my hand on Loki’s knee. “We’re not as different as you think. You haven't seen me in a battle yet. And let’s just say I'm an Avenger for a reason.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Yup.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I always figured you pitied me.”

“Maybe I did once. But you're smart and have a better heart than you let the others see, and I liked that more than I like the others. Don’t get me wrong I love the team, but I can get a little fed up with Captain Boy Scout, Iron Arrogant, Prince Dramasgard, Cryptic Widow, Dr. BanNerd, and Hawkdry. How refreshing to have someone more like me around.”

We lapsed into silence, watching the snow fall.

I ran out of hot chocolate and glanced at my watch. 11PM. “Oh boy it’s late. I should really be getting home.”

As I moved to get up, Loki took my hand—not my wrist as he usually would. “Don’t go. It’s dangerous. I have a really bad feeling about you driving this late in this storm. Please. Just stay the night.”

“I don’t have… like, pajamas or a toothbrush or anything.”

He smirked. “Lucky you I have extras.”

“Oh yeah—like your pajamas would fit me,” I remarked sarcastically.

Loki chuckled. “Don’t worry, they will. They’ll just be a little long.” He stood up and guided me by the hand to his bedroom. I'd been in his room a few times. It was painted a pale goldenrod with a rich maroon bedspread and armchair and mahogany furniture. It never failed to make me feel slightly awkward to be in his room. I didn’t belong in there.

He rifled through the top drawer of his dresser and extracted some pajamas—or sleeping clothes as he’d called them once. He passed them to me. “Try these on. They should fit.”

I went into the bathroom and stripped out of my jeans and sweater and pulled the pajamas on, leaving my bra on underneath.

The shirt was so long it fell to my knees. It was green and softer than any clothing I'd ever worn before—softer than anything had a right to be. It made me sleepy just to put it on. The loose brown-and-green plaid trousers were way too long on me, but at least they fit even though I was nowhere near as slim as Loki was.

Once I left the bathroom, Loki offered me a brand-new toothbrush still in the packaging. “There’s toothpaste in the drawer on the right,” he informed me. I accepted it, brushed my teeth, and then went out into the living room, readying a throw pillow on the sofa and the blanket he’d given me before searching for a few more blankets. He was a Frost Giant—he kept his apartment pretty cold. I did too at night, but I liked being bundled up.

He was so quiet and I was so wrapped up in my quest for blankets that I didn’t realize he’d returned.

“What are you doing?” he asked incredulously.

“Getting ready for bed,” I answered confusedly.

He pointed over his shoulder. “No, you're staying in the bedroom,” he countered.

“No I'm not,” I replied. “I'm sleeping on the couch.”

“No you're not.”

“Yes I am.”

“Darling, you are going to stay in the bedroom. It’s just one night.”

“But that’s your room.”

“That I rarely stay in.”

“But it’s still your bedroom—and I'd be lying if I didn’t admit that would make me feel a little weird.”

“Well would it help you if we just shared the bedroom?” Loki exclaimed in frustration.

“Yes,” I said decisively. My eyebrows scrunched. “Wait… what?”

“It’s settled then. We’ll just share.”

Filthy manipulator, I thought angrily to myself. “No,” I pressed. “I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

But Loki wasn’t listening. He’d already grabbed my wrist—and I realized he was in pajamas remarkably similar to the ones I was borrowing—and was dragging me gently back to the bedroom. “Too bad. You’ve already settled the matter,” he argued.

“Loki…” I warned.

“Look, darling, it’s one night and I doubt I’ll even touch you—especially not without your consent. The bed is far more comfortable than the sofa anyway.” As he spoke, he pulled open the bedroom door and let me go, inviting me in with a sweep of his hand. I screwed up my face in frustration. If I tried to go back to the sofa, he’d just catch me and pull me back, and he was so stubborn that I wouldn’t be able to talk him out of this—for some reason—so I debated for a moment before crossing the threshold.

He came in too. “Which side would you prefer?” he asked, leaving the door open.

“Don’t care. Farthest from the window is fine,” I answered.

“Alright then.” He flung the covers on the side I'd chosen down, circled the bed, and crawled in on the side next to the window. I rolled my eyes, turned off the light, and got in.

I felt far more comfortable in the darkness. Like he couldn’t judge me if he couldn’t see me. Wearing his pajamas—which were ridiculously comfortable—was a bit odd, but I was getting so tired that I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I rolled onto my left side, so I was facing his back, and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

^^^^^

Loki sensed her go to sleep as her body relaxed. A grin tugged on the corners of his face as he gently rolled onto his other side to look at her.

In sleep she was peaceful. She looked adorably small in her borrowed Asgardian pajamas—which were also too long on him—and her long eyelashes looked like wisps of shadows on her face. Her gentle breathing made her chest and side rise and fall.

She had no idea. It was kind of adorable.

Loki wasn’t the God of Lies for nothing. Of course it was his Frost Giant powers that were making the snow storm so severe. He just… he just wanted her to stay. She was the only Midgardian he enjoyed being around. He felt like she never judged him. He liked her company more than any other currently-alive being’s—even his brother’s. She was just bright—both in the smart way and the happy way—and smiley. It made him feel better.

The God of Mischief grinned as he closed his eyes, adjusted his position slightly, and also fell asleep.

^^^^^

Warmth surrounded me when I woke up. Through my closed eyelids I could see morning light. Some sort of pressure was on my right arm—the side exposed to the air—and my forehead was brushing something soft.

I was really comfortable. The pajama trousers I was wearing were bunched up around my knees and the overlong shirt I wore was twisted around my body, but other than that, I didn’t even want to move. I could feel my hair under my face and my arm under a pillow that was too cushy to be mine. I used a firm pillow because otherwise my neck would ache.

Where was I? What was that pressure? I didn’t want to move—or wake up—but I was curious.

I peeled my eyes open—

And it took everything I had not to shriek from being startled.

Loki was peacefully sleeping only an inch from my face. My forehead had been brushing a lock of his hair. His arm was flung over my shoulder and his eyes were closed. I realized, up-close-and-personal, that his eyelashes were almost as long as mine.

Slowly, I eased out from under his arm, trying to keep him asleep.

Fail.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. “Morning beautiful,” he greeted.

“I really wish you’d stop calling me endearments when we’re just friends,” I commented.

“Are we, though? Just friends?”

“Um… yeah. I think we are.”

“Would you be open to more?”

“I'm not having this conversation right now.”

“Why not?” he asked blearily.

“Because we just woke up. I don’t make good choices when I just barely woke up,” I retorted, moving to climb out of the bed.

Loki gently took my hand and tugged me back. “Nooo,” he complained. “Stay. You're so warm.”

I snorted. “No I'm not. I generate so little body heat I get cold the second the temperature dips lower than seventy-three degrees.”

“And I'm a Frost Giant who generates little body heat myself, love. But together we’re nice and cozy.”

“If I wasn’t with you all night last night I'd wonder if you had a hangover or something,” I remarked. “You very nearly sound drunk. Honestly, where is this all coming from? Why are you asking me if I'd be open to more now?”

“Because sleeping next to someone for a long time promotes trust—and I've been mildly in love with you for months.”

“What?!”

[glowstickhaloboy]

hi! since you're taking prompts, could you do pynch and "i'm in love with you"?

This work takes place at the end of the currently-published series, that is, after Opal. There are some spoilers.

TW: mild gore

Ronan’s tattoo starts to bleed overnight. It isn’t the pain that wakes him, because there is no pain. There’s only rolling over into a puddle of wet and thinking: shit, did I leave the bottle open again?

It’s dark, and he’s asleep, and kind of a dumbass, so it takes him a few squints and blinks before he sees that whatever he dipped his fingers in is red—yes, red—and shit, that’s probably not good. That’s definitely bad.

The next few moments are a strobe-light image slideshow: the hallway, sideways, as Ronan stumbles into the bathroom—the stabbing lights—the inside of his eyelids as he blocked them out—and then the blood, everywhere, all over. Like he did a mudslide through a slaughterhouse.

There’s only one person to call.

Declan arrives to find Ronan sat near, not in, the bathtub, with a pile of towels pressed between his back and the side of the tub. Ronan grimaces at the sight of loose tie and button-up. No idea what time it is, but Declan had still been working.

He helps Ronan sit up—“Jesus is this all yours” “It’s coming out of me, isn’t it?”—and some of the towels have begun to stick so they come away with a wet peeling sound, like Declan is skinning an orange. 

“It’s stopped bleeding,” he says. He inspects the stainage of the pile at large. It quiets and disquiets him. “I was 45 minutes away.”

This was not an admonishment for calling on him. It was an admonishment for calling on him.

“There was no one else,” Ronan says. “Adam’s at college, Opal’s in New Cabeswater, Gansey, Cheng, and Sargent have all fucked off together on the other side of the country, and Chainsaw is a fucking bird.”

“Matthew?” Declan suggests halfheartedly.

“Matthew would get scared.”

There was no one else.

“You should call Adam.”

Ronan snorts. “And tell him what?”

“He’d want to know about this.”

Maybe, but that kid was stressed enough about midterms and Ronan wasn’t going to be the one to crash his two-hour nap for the night.

“He’s busy.”

“When’s the last time you two talked?” asks Declan, as if he can read Ronan’s mind.

It’s a hint of the old new-Ronan. Surly and full of acid and ready to get in a fight that is guaranteed to leave no survivors.

Ronan rolls over on his side so his spine can get its shit together. It puts him mostly on the floor. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

His phone gets shoved into his hand. Declan says, “I’m going to find you something sugary.”

He leaves.

Ronan groans, stares mutinously at the scratched-up dark screen, and chucks the thing into the hallway. Clatter-clatter-clat.

A few minutes later, flat footsteps ascend the stairs, and Ronan hears a business-like, “Hold on.”

Declan’s shoes appear, and then Declan’s phone is shoved in Ronan’s face, and Declan says, “Adam.”

Ronan accepts it. There’s also a glass of orange juice, which he completely downs before saying, “How many hours?”

“Three,” Adam answers, not missing a beat. “What happened, Ronan?”

“It’s nothing to worry about. A little Cabeswater fuckery. Go back to sleep and pass your classes.”

“You’re bleeding again!” says Declan, with a lot more energy than the moment holds as he snatches a towel with a dry patch and presses it to Ronan’s back. Ronan switches the phone to his other ear.

“You need my help,” Adam says. The suspicious pause he takes makes Ronan think he waited for a yawn to pass before saying it.

“That’s might fuckin’ bold of you to assume,” Ronan replies sharply. He can feel it now, sliding down his back. It’s warm. Like fingers or lips running down his skin. “You’re four hours away and you’ve gotten three hours of sleep. You probably have eight tests tomorrow and a shift at work before you kill yourself studying. Don’t have to be at school to do that math. I’m fine, you hear me? I’ve got Declan. This is my shit, you worry about yours.”

“You’re doing the thing again, Lynch,” Adam told him patiently.

“The thing?”

“Yeah,” Adam said. “The asshole thing. That thing where you’re an asshole. You’re doing it again.”

“You’re-”

“You’re my shit. I’ll see you in four hours.” Adam hangs up.

Ronan drops the phone. It pops out of its case, and his back is still bleeding, and his boyfriend is going to die on the road, and all he wants to do is go back to bed.

“That wasn’t so bad,” says Declan, and Ronan grimaces.

“Eavesdropper.”

“The volume was on loud.” He swaps one towel for another, but it doesn’t matter. They’re all covered. “You haven’t economized well.”

“He doesn’t want to come down here,” says Ronan. “He’ll act like there’s no problem because he thinks he has no right to, but missing a day of classes will take a year off his life. He’ll be pissed. He doesn’t want to come down here.”

“Why don’t you want to see him?” Declan asks suddenly, tartly, ripping off the band-aid.

And Ronan contemplates the opportunity of bleeding out for so long that he never answers.

-

The bleeding doesn’t stop, but Ronan’s face is still full of color so Declan chalks up his remaining belly-down on the bathroom floor as decision and exhaustion. He goes with Ronan’s blessing for a nap/collapse across the hall, but he leaves the door open and says he trusts Ronan will shout if something goes wrong. (“Your face went wrong.”)

After forty-five minutes of lying there Ronan picks himself up, kicks the stained towels into a pile smushed between the wall and toilet, and inspects his tattoo in the mirror. It’s oozing a little. Not too bad. He grabs his mostly-clean bedsheet and the first aid kit, and he goes out onto the deck. It’s fucking cold out in his boxers but he doesn’t plan to stay out for more than a few minutes, he just… 

He needs some air.

For the first time in memory, Ronan is not eager to admit that Declan has it wrong. Ronan doesn’t not want to see Adam. But he knows that Adam’s priority will always be Adam, and that means he’s going to be gone again by this time tomorrow. It’s not the reunion. It’s the overhanging shadow of another goodbye. He doesn’t want to live through that because then it’s back to just thoughts of Adam, and Ronan doesn’t think about Adam Parrish with his brain, he thinks about Adam with his blood and his bones and his heart. Some days, it feels like Adam Parrish is all Ronan thinks about.

And he is not entirely sure he didn’t make a Dream-Adam tonight.

Though there has been Cabeswater in Adam for a long time now, there has never been any Adam in Cabeswater that Adam does not allow to be there. And tonight, because Ronan isn’t enough—isn’t strong enough, isn’t himself enough—isn’t enough, he broke that rule for his own gain. Because he misses Adam. And he let his emotions get the better of him, in a way the Greywaren could not let himself do.

He’s still sitting there, trying to bandage up his back on his own, when he becomes suddenly aware of grass swishing. There’s a shine on the morning dew as the sky turns silver-gray.

It’s him.

“I saw you in my dreams,” Ronan blurts, and Adam blinks at him in surprise. He finishes crossing the lawn, gliding, and Ronan is so fucking relieved. “We were in Cabeswater together. That’s the only reason I freaked. You didn’t have to come down here.”

The specter of Adam sits behind Ronan and wordlessly takes over the job of bandaging. “You freaked?” he repeats lowly. The Henrietta in him makes it come out freekt. Ronan closes his eyes.

He doesn’t want to say anything, but it’s either put it all out between them or risk doing damage. Love is frustrating like that; it has to be free in order to grow, but you can’t leave it alone and expect it to be strong. It’s going to drive Ronan fucking crazy.

“I wasn’t ready to see you,” says Ronan.

“So you wish I hadn’t come.”

“You wish you hadn’t come, either. I told you not to.”

“I don’t think you’re concerned enough about this,” says Adam, and Ronan’s heart skips a beat until Adam adds, “It’s a lot of blood.”

“It’s not mine,” says Ronan, sweeping a hand under his nose and sniffing. “I’d be dead by now if it was. It’s from Cabeswater.”

“Because of the dream you had,” Adam surmises. “Because, what, you didn’t want to see me? I’ve only been gone for a few months and you refuse to talk to me now? I told you this would happen.”

Adam drops the bandage on the deck and scoots away, toward the rail, his face and posture turning to stone as Ronan says, “Parrish.”

“I said it wouldn’t work—”

“We were scared it wouldn’t work—”

“—and now I’ve made a total ass of myself driving down here to help you, so if you want to f-finish it…” Adam clicks his tongue against the back of his teeth. Tcsk. Just like that. And it’s a very sharp sound, and it’s a very sharp moment. He’s trying not to cry.

Adam doesn’t cry.

The only thing that betrays him is the tiny bump in the word finish. And maybe the way he says It, like he’s already looking at a dead version of It in his mind, but he’s resolved not to show Ronan, for whatever reason, how much that thought hurts.

How much that thought hurts.

How much that thought hurts.

How much that thought hurts.

He’s always so stoic, so determined to be independent whatever the cost, that Ronan never…

Ronan thought he’d been spending Adam’s freshman year stupidly falling in love on his own. It’s such a moronic, simple realization that it makes Ronan angry. They’re in this together.

“Parrish. Look at me. Adam.” Adam whips his head around, angry, hurt, and Ronan has always thought Adam was attractive, but this is… heart-stopping. “I’m in love with you.”

It takes Adam aback. He inhales through his mouth and Ronan watches it go right to his chest, and his throat bobs, and his eyes flutter closed. He opens them. He’s dazed, probably, and exhausted, because he never eats or sleeps and he just drove four hours in a car that has few enough parts to be classified as a bicycle, and because he has never heard those words before.

Adam isn’t going to say it back. He’s just had it sprung on him and he’s the type of person who needs to be sure the ground is solid before his footing gets adventurous. So Ronan is going to say it first because Adam needs to hear it first, of the two of them. Ronan knew it before he said it, and he isn’t going to freak out when it happens— doesn’t happen. Whatever.

And the silence stretches on. There’s a war going on inside of Adam’s head. Ronan needs to distract him before it gets bad.

He says, “I hate seeing you because it reminds me that life sucks when you’re gone. But I know you’re doing what you need to do, and I want you to do that, so just let me deal with this. Because it doesn’t matter how far you go or how long you’re gone. I’ll wait for you.”

He knows this with more than his head. He—and Cabeswater—knows it with his heart, and his bones, and his blood. His blood. So when Cabeswater felt how badly he missed Adam…

“It was me,” Adam says unexpectedly. “It was really me last night.”

And it’s Ronan’s turn to stare. 

“In Cabeswater?” he asks.

Adam nods. His throat bobs again.

“I think I was thinking about you before I fell asleep, and then I knew exactly where I was, and you turned up, only I didn’t know for sure if it was you, and if it was then you seemed angry I was there-”

“At me, not at you,” Ronan interrupts, then has to look away. “I thought… I thought I made a dream you.”

Adam touches Ronan’s cheek, guides him back around, and kisses him. Maybe, Ronan thinks, this is him saying it back.

“I think we found our solution,” says Adam, and he lingers in the space where they breathe the same air. The sun is coming up. His eyes are glittering. “We can refine it. Find out how I ended up in Cabeswater tonight and do it more often. We’ll see each other all the time.”

“And I’ll know when you’re not getting any fucking sleep,” says Ronan, smiling his razor’s smile. He kisses Adam again. “It’s freezing. Get inside, I’ll clean up this shit and be right there.”

“But your back—”

“It’s fine now.”

“It’s… what?”

“It’s fine,” says Ronan. “I’m sure. Get inside, Parrish.”

Adam does not argue; he leaves Ronan to snatch up all the rusty bandages from the deck, the bedsheet, the first aid kit. Ronan knows he’ll pass out the moment he finds the empty guest bedroom, so he takes the time to shower (and dry off with an old shirt) before joining him.

[duanecbrooks]

In Favor Of Geeks     Facts: 1) It has at last finally been cemented in my mind the format in which I'll watch My Two All-Time Favorite Narrative Television Programs, namely the 1990s Fox prime-time soap Pacific Palisades and the much-more-recent NBC interracial sitcom Truth Be Told--two series that, as I am well aware, most folks would not list as their All-Time Favorite Anythings--on YouTube (watch one show one week, the other show the next week); 2) It has come to pass that it looks to be highly unlikely that I'll be seeing the just-released Baywatch theatrical-film-reboot any time soon, as it's not playing at any picture theater that I can easily get to. And it's said facts that are a major factor in my coming to a major realization concerning myself. Namely...     I am and have been throughout my adult life a geek in the Meghan McCain tradition.             I mean it. I have and have long had a monumental sweet tooth for pictures in which gorgeous, sexy ladies either star or are prominent players and wherein the aforementioned ladies display most if not all of their gorgeous, sexy bodies--indeed, as I've disclosed to you before (and, as I recall, more than once), my All-Time Favorite Theatrical Offering is the classic 1980s theatrical-film film noir Body Heat. I have seen almost every big- and small-screen presentation that has featured my woman Robin Givens, not to mention the fact that I've hoarded away just about everything that has been written about her and just about every magazine cover that has showcased her since she came into public view--indeed, my All-Time Favorite Media, and I believe I've dealt with before also, and, again, more than once, is and has long been Heart and Soul magazine's 2010s cover article on her. Turning to TV specifically, during the 1980s I regularly savored the comedic antics of Ed O'Neill and his Married...With Children family and the campy/melodramatic antics of Joan Collins and the Dynasty Carrington family. And during the 1990s I luxuriated in the plush sexiness of Pamela Anderson and the rest of the Baywatch lifeguard femmes--this was, of course, long, long before her current incarnation as an unbearably shrill, unbearably self-righteous "activist"--and in Heather Locklear's spicy, delicious Melrose Place bitchiness. I eat up and have always eaten up Entertainment Weekly magazine's "Reunion" issues, the issues wherein the casts of much-known and much-beloved pictures and television shows are brought back together and look back upon their projects. My All-Time Favorite TV Program is the Kathie Lee/Hoda Today show. And I wholly love, love, love my computer and my DVD player.                 So there's my geekdom, standing tall and proud. The fact is, geekdom has made and continues to make formidable contributions to the celebrity/entertainment sphere and to the culture overall. Indeed, to be a Meghan McCain-esque geek is an entirely worthwhile station in life, one that is in no capacity to be scoffed at, one that is, au contraire, to be eminently cherished.                   The reasons this is true are two.                   First: To engage in geekdom is to involve the mind and the psyche thoroughly and totally, to involve oneself to the degree that all problems, all concerns, all hang-ups, all neuroses are not only successfully mashed down but are sent out the door completely. With geekdom, the brain and the senses are fully enveloped in the activity at hand, are wholly embracing of whatever media is partaken of. Thus, for that time the consumer becomes a 100-percent functioning person, his/her complete self all enwrapped in whatever form is being taken in. This, of course, means an absolutely engaged, absolutely there person, which is, naturally, good for the country as a whole. A personal example, one that, once again, I've taken up in the past and, once again, more than one time: Whenever I'm enmeshed in sexual fantasies regarding My All-Time Favorite Make-Believe Girlfriend Teri Ann Linn, my hang-ups and my neuroses and the rest of my assorted looninesses are pushed down entirely and, very often, go out the door completely. At such times I'm thoroughly, totally present, thoroughly, totally in the moment. At such times I'm fully focused upon what I'm doing and in no sense do my various crazies constrict me, which is, of course, nothing but positive concerning my well-being as a person and my inclination to contribute to society. Also: With pretend lovers it's fully not necessary to have to tolerate what is often personal female goofiness ("Space! I need SPAAAACE!").                         That's the first reason. Secondly: Geekdom ensures that we see creative folks and creative forms in their proper perspective, that we not blow them up into being more than what they actually are. As did not happen when, during the 1960s and the 1970s, Rolling Stone magazine seriously questioned rock stars regarding U.S. Vietnam policy; or when Life magazine, during an article on the veteran cinematic director Sam Peckinpah, actually expressed disappointment that Peckinpah failed to fill the role of National Sage (said magazine poutingly asserted: "One hoped that the man who has captured violence so well in his films would be able to tell us where he is leading us. But one can't look to Sam Peckinpah for any...cure [for the appallingly high degree of violence in America]. He is too wrapped up in his own complaints"); or when the longtime actor/dancer/writer Shirley MacLaine, as she herself revealed in her super-bestselling personal-essay compilation I'm Over All That And Other Confessions, got not on the Nixon "show business enemies" list but on his "political enemies" list--and that his White House had her New York apartment searched and had her telephone lines cut to ensure that she got the point; or when, after the Dixie Chicks--a singing group--did their sounding-off on then-President George W. Bush, both of my hometown newspaper The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's handkerchief-head, ever-whining black columnists, along with--hold on now--Time magazine in a cover story, seriously depicted the Chicks as gutsy freedom fighters; or Bush himself, who as President of the United States of America daily faced having to make decisions that majorly impacted the fortunes and even the lives of many, who consistently grappled with issues of monumental national and international import, actually contending that the worst moment of his presidency, the occurrence that was its lowest point was when one black rapper--repeat, one black rapper (Kanye West)--publicly badmouthed him (i:e; West's nationally televised assertion that Bush "doesn't care about black people"). And: There are the facts that this same rapper has announced that he intends to make a serious run for the presidency in 2020--and that he's been taken seriously by much of The Mainstream Media--and that, of course, our current commander-in-chief came into major public attention as a "reality-television" attention slut--which, come to think of it, largely accounted for his political success.                     It was the greatly-esteemed interviewer Dick Cavett who asked the Pulitzer Prize-winning composer/diarist Ned Rorem why it is that artistic institutions flourish so much more when conservative White Houses are in power than when liberal ones are. Rorem's answer: "Because liberals view the arts as vehicles for advocacy and propaganda, while conservatives see them as outlets for leisure and reflection, which is what the arts are [emphasis mine]." In truth, geekdom is to be applauded and cheered for serving as a reminder that creativity, while it can, yes, be intellectually stimulating and psychologically fulfilling, is at heart a leisure activity. And that that fact should at all times be kept in mind while engaging in it and/or while consuming it.