#the brainrot is 2 years already it's now brain fermentation

[shounenlord-sama]

New idea for makoharu in greece: So makoto and haru go to greece for a short vacation before haru competes in Athens and they visit corfu bc 1) it's an island and 2) the plot demands it. They visit the tourist spots and makoto, our classical literature enthusiast, goes on to narrate all about the historical and cultural contexts of several pieces. When they come to the statue of achilles in the achilleion palace, makoto tells haru about the story of achilles, how he is the best warrior of his generation, and compares him to haru for a bit, saying that in a way haru is also the best of his nation (at least in swimming), and how he went mad after his "best friend"'s death (bc makoto only learned about illiad in school, ok? No tumblr) haru makes a side comment about how the death of achilles is tragic, chasing death without care for himself after patroclus' death, but then the beach scene in hs2 and in s1e6 flash in his memory, and adds that he couldn't imagine experiencing such grief, and that he doesn't wish it upon himself or anybody else. Ofc makoto doesn't get the undermeaning, but anyway...

Fast forward to haru getting a dream of being in a battlefield and yet he couldn't recognize anything. Someone calls him an unfamiliar name, and oddly, he follows, and they present him a bloody, maimed corpse of an unfamiliar man, and he feels this weird, disgusting, unwanted feeling deep within him, and he gets the urge to grieve and mourn for the man he doesn't know, but he blinks and suddenly it's makoto and they're at that night in summer camp, and makoto isn't breathing. He performs chest compressions, and makoto splutters, but instead of waterit's blood, and he says "haruka" in his raspy voice. Alarmed, haru shakes makoto, only to find his hand feeling wet, and he looks down and makoto's chest and stomach are splurging blood, a deep and wide gaping, punctured wound present when it wasn't there before.

Just like the corpse from the battlefield.

The panic turns up to maximum, alarmed and afraid and desperate to save makoto. The same unwanted feeling returns, and haru is still confused why is this happening. Why makoto is dying in his arms from a bloody injury like he came from battle, why he feels something for the dead man in the battlefield, why makoto is repeating a word (maybe a name) he couldn't understand, why can't he help him. He wakes up, and he feels around beside him, looks around, and he sees makoto in the other bed, still and unmoving. The fear creeps in.

Is he...

Makoto turns on his back, and haru sighs deeply. Still, he walks to makoto to be sure. He checks his breathing, his pulse, his body if it's still warm, and he looks under the cover to check for any fatal bloody wound. He's relieved. Makoto is alive and well. Still, the fear doesn't disappear. The nightmare left haru in a constant state of worry. Did it have any meaning? Was it a premonition? Is makoto's life really going to be in danger in the future? From something as deadly as a grave injury? The anxiety messes him up, and it ruins his oh-so precious sleeping hours, as well as his concentration in training. Everybody sees it, that something was bothering haru. But he couldn't tell anyone that what's bothering him is a stupid nightmare of makoto dying in his arms and the feeling of pure wretched agony he gets every time the image of his greatest fear flashes in his mind. He never managed to admit it to nagisa before and he will never admit it to anybody else now.

He loses in the freestyle event. He performs very badly that the swim coach decides to drop him out from the medley relay. Haru gets mad at this. He tells the coach how unfair it is and how he spent hours each day training with the rest of the relay team, only to be removed without notice. How he sacrificed a lot only for it all to not pay off just because the coach "said so". Haru storms off, and Makoto offers to follow to calm him down, and haru complains how it isn't fair to be removed from the relay just bc he lost in his individual event. Makoto tells that haru has been off for quite a while, and that if he told him what was wrong, maybe he can help him. But haru can't tell him. He may cause makoto to panic, and ofc he refuses to consider that the thought plaguing his mind may come true by jinxing it. He tells makoto to just leave him, and that he will never be able to understand him or help with his problem, and he runs out of the venue and makoto follows after him. They continue to fight in the middle of the street and makoto gets hit by a car. The nightmare, nagisa's question about his greatest fear, makoto drowning, makoto at the beach in middle school, makoto's story about the warrior who went mad after his best friend's death... they're all racing in haru's mind, and all he could do in there was run to makoto's bloody limp body, clutch him towards himself and wail in agony, imploring him to wake up, because no, he almost lost him several times before, and the pain this time is unbelievably heavy, like he lost makoto to death before, and it's now happening before his very eyes. He calls for help, and the nearby locals come to assist, and haru is desperate for their help, whatever that can save makoto. He's speaking to them in whatever way he thinks that they somehow understand, and he calls someone to come with him in the ambulance, and nao comes, not wanting to disrupt the other athletes with worrying news about makoto's condition.

They arrive at the hospital and haru communicates in broken english with an equally badly English-speaking greek nurse, and when haru states makoto's name nao interrupts him, asking him why he's stating a different name for makoto's and why he's telling her that it's patroklos menoitiades? Nao clarifies that the patient's real name is makoto tachibana, a japanese citizen, not a local greek like haru makes it sound like. Haru wonders why he called makoto patroclus, and nao asks him to get some rest.

He dreams of war, of arguing with a man with kind eyes that remind him of someone, of the terrible pain of losing your most beloved, of endlessly wailing the name "patroclus", of turning mad and no longer valuing anything, including his honor and his life, for what he loved most was already gone. And then and there he realizes that the reason why he felt the most heart-wrenching agony every time his mind teased him the possibility of losing makoto in the most horrible way; why he felt the greatest fear every time fate gives him a glimpse of what it's like to lose makoto forever, where he can't follow him; why he fears the possibility of losing his best friend in a way that it almost drove him mad- it was all because he went through all of it before. He is, was achilles, and he lost patroclus in his past life, in a way that is partially his fault, and oh gods did he let it happen in this life again... makoto was, is patroclus, and he let him get hurt because of himself once again. Guilt plagues him, and images of their fight (both in the previous life and their recent) flash in his mind, and now, instead of briseis, faces of all of their friends replace her, all expressing contempt at haru. It was his fault this happened to makoto.

A different dream, this time of patroclus, asking for peace, acceptance, for him to finally let him rest, let him go.

To where he can't follow.

but no. Not yet. Haru (achilles) cannot let him go just yet. Makoto (his patroclus) is still alive. He's still here. He still hasn't left.

He comes to see makoto the next day, and he knows, feels, that the man in his dream, patroclus, and makoto, are one. He sees it, the way their bodies have almost the same shape; the way both their hairs are wild and unkempt and unruly, albeit patroclus used to have thicker and curly locks, and way darker than makoto's. The way their eyes are gentle and warm and kind and bright, and the way they look... human. The most human of all, far different from everybody else seeking fame and glory, like seeking a way to immortalize themselves. And the way they treated him, never as a weapon of war, nor a sight to behold,but rather, another human (if they do put themself beneath him sometimes). He wishes for him to wake up. He doesn't wish to experience what he did before, of losing patroclus, and everything with him. Patroclus, makoto, is the half of his soul, his most beloved, the best person in his life, and losing him is what he fears most.

(idk where I'm going with this)

Anyway makoto wakes up and he tells him everything and apologizes for both his actions in their past life and in the present. Maybe makoto all this time was also getting memories of patroclus and so was trying his best to prevent haru from doing something reckless like achilles did which led to his death against paris. Anyway they reunite in this life both as "haru and makoto" and "Achilles and patroclus". Everybody is surprised when haru returns with a slightly different personality. He becomes more open, and also more expressive about his wants and dislikes (and also his affection for makoto)

Also it would be fun if all the other gays were having recollection of their own past lives as well. Idk what drama rin and sousuke are causing as alexander the great and hephaestion. And asahi as aeneas, maybe he gets a reawakening and finds a boost in confidence when he finally earns his first gold in butterfly and gets picked for the relay after rin gets dropped out for causing gay macedonian drama. Which he doesn't mind, bc maybe he can once again worship his hephaestion's thighs, which is still worth worshipping as sousuke.