#the amount of colorism i faced growing up from adults reading oh i'm not black enough people called me white looking always read to me as a
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veone · 6 months ago
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also yall know that thing about how people with adhd will forget you exist if they don't see you, that is very true on my end.
#i am impulsive with my words and don't really take all the time the impact they could have#never want to be rude or offensive in anyway but sometime i am#i value my experiences over other people to much and need to just close that part of me when interacting with people with different lives#i got a bias towards lighter skinned black folks but not in the way that you'd think#i view the struggles of not being black enough or really poc enough as nothing serious sometimes which isn't great and i gotta work on that#like my reasoning behind it is because i have always been to dark to black my hairs not good my i'm inferior because of my brown skin#the amount of colorism i faced growing up from adults reading oh i'm not black enough people called me white looking always read to me as a#brag in a way like its not but it sometimes feels like that especially living in the states were looking less like the ethnic group you are#in is the standard of beauty#its fuck up i read the colorism that lighter skinned folks face as something good its self hatred#plus another part of me sits and gets mad for them like fuck you for trying to denying my hertiage and the shit i have faced because i'm no#dark enough or the struggles i face isn't as bad as you've experience.#i only really take issue with the i'm not poc enough or someone called me white because shit i wish thats what i got instead of being calle#monkey or burnt or made to feel ugly because of my skin or not family because i wasn't the same color as my dad or mom#can't be putting my shit onto people#its not right and its unhealthy#something i gotta work on#will say though i was called white growing up for speaking a certain way and liking rock music and not being black enough in personality bu#i can't imagine how that must feel because of just how you look#i felt isolated from my peers for alot of reason but having my appearance being so upfront in that is different and i feel for my#lighter skinned peeps. i got alot of shit from adults on my skin tone than my actual peers thankfully.
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airis-paris14 · 4 years ago
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Starlight (T. Udaku)
Summary: Amani is an orphaned heiress who's spent most of her life raising her younger sister. T'Challa is a widowed King and Father. Neither of them is expecting much from their night at the Lotus. But the coming months have many milestones in store for these young adults. Will becoming a family be one of them?
Warnings: None
A/N: Hey y’all. I know I’ve been absent for a little bit again. This story was on the top of my update list and Dress Up is next now that I’ve finished the update. Now I’ve only posted this story on Wattpad, and since the update really only helps them, I thought I get in my weekly update by posting this story from the beginning. I hope you all enjoy as much as my other stories. As always let me know if you wanna be on the tag list. I’ll be posting an account update soon with some news about stories and the Master list. Have a beautiful day guys.
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Amani watched from the doorway as her baby sister packed up her suitcase. "You know you don't have to watch me pack. I'm a big girl." Amare Okeke looked up smiling. Amani walked over to help her zip the suitcase. "You're barely old enough to fly alone baby girl."
"Amani I'm 17."
"I know. I know. My baby girl is all grown up." Amani pulled Amare into a tight hug. "Maybe I should just keep you here this semester."
"Amani....."
I know, I know. Massachusetts Institute of Technology is paying your tuition, so I guess I gotta put you on that plane."
Amare chuckled. "I think they'd miss me too much if you didn't."
Amani scooped the younger girl into a hug. "Just be safe kid. Don't talk to strangers and no joining the mile high club."
Amare groaned and shuddered. "Okay, it's definitely time for you to go, don't wanna be late for work."
Amani laughed, "Be safe okay. Come back to me in one piece."
"I promise, scouts honor," Amare raised three fingers as she pushed her older sister out of the door. "Just one more hug," Amani begged. Amare shook her head, and shoved the car keys in her sister's hand. "Out," she pointed to the 23-year-old. Amani ran in for one last hug before hopping in her car. She waved three times more before pulling out of the drive and into the city traffic. Her Lexus weaved in and out of traffic as she headed to her day job. The Lotus was more of a pass time than an actual job. It paid a decent amount, and she got to work with her friends.
Twenty minutes later Amani pulled into The Lotus's back parking lot. She gathered all of her things and headed in to help work the closing shift. She scanned her key card and pushed open the heavy security door. The kitchen staff seemed to be winding down from the dinner rush. It was only seven and most of the tables had been served and were waiting to pay. Amani dropped her things in the break room before heading out to help the other waitresses.
" Well look what the cat dragged in." A petite woman teased from behind the bar. "Hello to you too Sakura."
"Hey, Mani! Can you cover this last table for me while I set up for tomorrow?" Madiyson asked as she nodded at a man and a little girl who walked into the restaurant.
"I just got here! What about 'Kura? She's here too."
Sakura glared at Amani from behind her magazine. "It would really mean the world to me if you could do it, Amani..." Madiyson puppy dog eyed her.
"Fine," Amani sighed, fixing her thick curls. They both stared at her arranging her twist out.
"What he is cute!" The black woman blushed grabbing a kid's menu and a menu."He has a daughter." Kura pointed out. Amani walked over to the sink to wash her hands, grabbed the nearest dish towel, and leaned again the counter to check her teeth in the mirror.
"But I don't see a ring," Madiyson pointed out as she grabbed a fresh washcloth. She winked before she hurried away to wipe down tables. Sakura laughed and turned back to her magazine.
Amani hastily checked her reflection once more before walking out onto the main floor. The little girl waved as the woman approached the podium."Hi! Welcome to The Lotus. Just you two tonight?" The man nodded. "If you'll follow me then." The small group walked to a booth. Amani fished into her small apron and took out a notepad. Can I get you anything to drink?"
"I'll have water," he smiled at the young woman. His voice and that smile practically melted Amani right then and there. The young woman pulled herself together to write down his order.
"Ada did you want anything?" he asked the little girl across the table from him.
"Do you have strawberry lemonade?" She asked in a sweet voice.
"No, but I may have something just as good. If you don't like it I'll bring you something else. How does that sound?"
The little girl grinned and nodded her head.
"I'll let you look over the menu while I get your drinks."
As the waitress walked off she heard the little girl whisper to her father. "Baba she's pretty!" Amani blushed and rushed over to the bar, desperate to hide the growing flush of her face. As she mixed the little girl's drink at the bar Madiyson and Sakura began drying cups beside her.
"So who's the beautiful stranger?" Sakura was the first one to speak nudging Amani on the side. "That's what we're calling him?" Madiyson rolled her eyes. Amani laughed as she felt Madiyson nudge her other shoulder. "He's watching you," she whispered. The sister looked up quickly at the man and his daughter before grabbing napkins and straws.
"His voice, god it's sexy. He has an accent though. It sounds dark and a little  controlling, but warm at the same time." Amani hastily revealed as she worked to keep her hands busy. Madiyson grinned "Oooh! You like him!"
Sakura face-palmed as guests looked up at the commotion."Keep your voice down," Amani hissed as she grabbed the drinks. "I just think he's cute. Besides he may not even be single. There's no way I'm that lucky," She blushed as she walked towards the bar exit. "You won't be getting lucky either if Madiyson keeps yelling stuff like that out loud," Sakura grinned as Madiyson slapped her on her shoulder.
Amani shook her head and walked out to the table. She set the drinks down in front of the little girl and her father. The young waitress gestured toward the drink as the little girl took a sip. Her face lit up and she smiled before drinking some more. "I'm guessing you like it," she smiled at the little girl before noticing the father smile at her. Amani's face churned up the color of a bouquet of roses. "Anybody ready to order?" Amani asked taking out her notepad.
"Yes, I'll have the filet mignon with green beans and mashed potatoes." He closed his menu and smiled at her."Rare, Medium Rare, or well done?" The young woman looked up expectantly, instantly regretting meeting his eyes. Her knees went weak."Well done please." He folded his arms on the table.
Amani smiled before looking at the little girl, "what is a Mac and cheese?" Ada asked politely."You've never had Mac and cheese?" The young woman exclaimed feigning shock. "Oh my goodness, it's this really creamy bowl of amazingness. You wanna know what I eat mine with?" The little girl giggled nodding. Amani leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I eat mine with Chicken tenders."
The little girl nodded."Good choice, I'll have mine with chicken tenders too then." The brown woman smiled at the girl before writing it down."Fabulous choice princess," Amani smiled as the little girl giggled before her mouth dropped open. "How'd you know I was a Princess?" The man shook his head at the little girl. She went quiet.
"Oh, I'm sorry if I got her in trouble." Amani apologized.
"No, no she's not in trouble. I am T'Challa and this is my princess Ada." At the mention of her name the little girl grinned. "It's nice to meet you both, Amani." She smiled at them both. "I'll have your food out shortly."
The young waitress walked back to the kitchen, handed her ticket in for her table and wrote for herself for a to-go meal."Find anything else out?" Sakura asked as she walked in handing over a ticket. "His name is T'Challa. And he's got money." The woman looked up. "How'd you find out he had money?"
"He ordered Filet Mignon. How many people in this area order filet mignon?" Amani said as she grabbed the plates from the window. "Besides us, and that's only when Mrs. Ella needs to get rid of it."
"Businessmen mostly, we just never give you the big ballers," Madiyson smirks as she drops off her ticket."Are you serious?" Sakura nodded. Amani rolled her eyes, "I'm feeling the love," she sassed as she headed back into the dining room.
"Aww don't be mad Mani!" Madiyson called as Sakura cackled. The young woman huffed as she carried the food out to her table.
"Baba, I want to go somewhere fun tomorrow!" The little girl insisted as her father laughed. "You did not enjoy the Museum?" His eyes twinkled as she huffed. Amani chuckled silently as she set the plate down in front of Ada. "Maybe your Mac and cheese will make you feel better," Amani suggested as she handed T'Challa his steak. "If you don't mind me asking, what Museum did you go to?" He smiled, clearly glad someone was interested.
"We went to the High Museum of Art," Amani had to stifle her laughter at his reply.
"Princess Ada, how old are you?" Amani asked as the laughter threatened to pour out of her. "Four," The little girl proudly displayed four fingers.
She could hold back no longer. A full-bellied laugh rolled out of her.
"What?" T'Challa protested as Ada began to giggle too. He sighed as he waited for the two females to stop laughing. "I'm sorry, but you took a four-year-old to the High?" She smiled as she tucked the serving tray under her right arm."There was an exhibit of children's illustrators." He defended himself."But baba," The little girl interjected, "we don't live here I've never read any of those books."
Amani smiled. "Maybe you should try the aquarium, it's one of the best in the country.  There's also this really big Ferris wheel Princess," the little girl's face lit up as she chewed up her chicken tender."Chew with your mouth closed Ada," her father gently reminded smiling at his daughter.
"I'll let you guys eat and be back soon."
The young woman couldn't keep the goofy smile off of her face as she helped refill salt and pepper shakers as Madiyson refilled condiments. "So is he feeling it? Is there a wedding I should start planning."
"No Madiyson you won't be planning  anything." Amani grinned as she put the salt back in the closet. "And I don't know, you don't usually go up to a stranger and say 'Hi, I'm single. Are you single?"
"Well don't ask him like that," Madiyson scoffed as she replaced the top on a ketchup bottle. "I see why you're still single," she laughed. Amani whirled around and threw some salt from the counter at her. "Haha, very funny."  Amani looked out the window to see T'Challa raise his hand.
"I'll be right back," the waitress walked over to the table. "We need a check?" T'Challa nodded as Ada finished the last of her Mac and Cheese. "That Mac and cheese treat you right?" Amina smiled as Ada grinned. "Yes ma'am," she replied.
"Baba, can we get ice cream?" Ada begged as Amani gathered the dirty plates. "Not tonight Ada, maybe tomorrow, entle."
"Oh if you go to the aquarium there's a really good ice cream shop downtown." Amani smiled."Then it's settled we'll get ice cream tomorrow Baba," The young princess declared. T'Challa smiled at his daughter. "Your wish is my command princess."
"Cash or credit?" Amani asked as she stood with the dirty plates. "Cash," T'Challa called. His eyes caused the waitress's heart to flutter. She offered an award-winning smile and nodded. "I'll be right back." Amani walked back into the kitchen dumping the dishes into the sink."Girl don't break no dishes," an older woman yelled from the back. "Sorry Mrs. Ella!" Amani grimaced as she began printing a check.
"Find out anything else?" Sakura asked as she began loading the dishwasher. "He's a total pushover for his daughter." Amina smiled placing the check in a black holder.
When she walked out to the table it was completely empty. Save for a note and some bills underneath his glass.
Sorry I could not say goodbye. Here is some money for the check. Ada says goodbye as well and thank you for the Mac and cheese and being so pretty. I would be delighted if you would consider accompanying us tomorrow around the city.
T'Challa
His number scrawled at the bottom of the note sent fireworks straight to her eyes. Amani lifted the glass to find two hundred dollar bills. She smiled fondly before tucking the note in her back pocket. She quickly finished the tab and grabbed her order from the window.  She helped the rest of the staff to mop, sweep, stack chairs, clean dishes, put away dishes. As soon as the restaurant was locked up she waved goodbye to Mrs.Ella in the back and proceeded to hop and skip back to her car and speed home. Amani pulled up to her condo in the city her parents had given her before they passed. The young woman pulled off her shoes and walked up to the front steps. She placed her hand on the doorbell and let it scan her finger before opening the door. The off duty waitress placed her food in the microwave and blasted a Kendrick album before plopping onto the couch. She glanced at the clock before pulling out her phone. She quickly typed in T'Challa's number and typed a message.
Amani: Is this T'Challa? It's Amani, from The Lotus.
T'Challa: yes this is T'Challa. I'm so glad you texted me. I'm sorry to bother you but Ada would not stop talking about you. She would really like it if you could join us tomorrow.
Amani: just Ada?
T'Challa: We would both enjoy your company tomorrow.
Amani: Then I'd be delighted. What time?
T'Challa: 9:30 a.m. we do not wish to hold the masses back for long periods of time. We will pick you up.
The woman typed a quick goodnight. She made a point to text her little sister before grabbing her food and settling down with the music. The ping of her phone startled her. Licking her fingers she checked the clock and headed into the kitchen to grab her phone.
Amare: don't forget you promised to attend that after-party tonight. With mom and dad's work partners.
"Frick," Amani yelped hopping off of the couch. She was beyond late. She grabbed her phone and ran into her bedroom. A gown was hanging over her closet door. She grinned, knowing that Amare had left it there before she left. She took a quick shower, tried to refresh her hair, threw on some light makeup, and pulled on the dress. Texting a quick thank you to her sister, she searched for the invite email once again and decided her car would be faster than an Uber. Luckily the venue was downtown. Amani drove as fast as the floor-length gown and heels would let her. She skidded into the valet drive-in, tossed the young man her keys, took a deep breath, and glided her way into the lobby.
Once in the elevator she touched up her makeup, fluffed the braided twist out bun, and sighed. The doors dinged open and she glided into the ballroom. Immediately she was surrounded by her parent's former employees. She smiled, shook hands, took some press pictures, made a couple of statements to reporters, before taking refuge in the corner. The part-time waitress grabbed a flute of champagne to sip as she perused. One of her dad's partners smiled and moved in her direction. Mentally preparing for the longest conversation of her life, Amani took a long gulp of champagne. "Long time no see!" Harold Armon smiled. "Hello Mr. Armon," Amani rolled her shoulders back and plastered on a smile.
"How are you, dear girl? How is your little sister? Amira?" He reached out to touch her shoulder.
"Amare," the older sister corrected. "Right, right!" Harold beamed, squeezing the young woman's shoulder. Amani shrugged his hand off. "She's fine. She left this morning to finish off her second semester at MIT."
"That's brilliant, she always was bright like your father. Is she thinking about running the company when she comes of age?" he pried. Amani frowned, "No. Our parents always wanted us to choose our own route in life. She decided that she didn't want to run the business."
"That is too bad. I could have been a great help. You all could have relied on me to take over the business. Then you wouldn't have to worry your pretty little head about all the men's work-" Amani zoned out as the man tried to persuade her to appoint him to a top position. She already knew his game. These conversations were why she hated coming to the parties. 
When her parents had died unexpectedly, Amani and Amare had been thrown into the world of office politics. As soon as the plane crashed in that Pennsylvania field, her phone was flooded with calls. Her father's lawyers advised her not to talk to anyone until she and Amare were together. They brought, the then 15-year-old, Amare out of school and down to Atlanta. Within a matter of hours, Amani had to decide who would take over the company in her parent's absence. She promoted her father's CFO, and her mother's assistant. She made sure that she put money away for her and Amare to live on. Then she handed the company over, operationally at least. She and Amare were still obligated to show their faces, and be present at board meetings. They weren't required to vote, but when they did, their word was law. Hence the groveling, and somewhat misogynistic, man standing in front of her.
She nodded along, taking to chance to glance at her side, where she saw T'Challa. His suit immaculately pressed and tailored. A ring flashed on his left hand and Amani felt her heart drop slightly. She blushed when he looked up and noticed her staring, she waved before tuning back into Harold.
"Brookman's first-quarter report does not look like it will be that promising. I think that if I were in that position I would avoid this merger with Wakanda and their king-" The man faltered, and tripped over his words. His eyes going wide at something behind her. Turning to look Amani saw T'Challa walking towards them. She returned his smile when he moved to greet her. "Amani."
"T'Challa-"
"Your highness." Harold quickly dropped into a stiff bow. "There's no need for that. Mr.-" T'Challa laughed.
"Armon" Harold stuck out a hand.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Armon," T'Challa placed his hands behind his back, forcing his posture upright. Harold brought his own hand back into his side. "Do you mind if I borrow your conversation partner?"
"Oh well, we were-"
"I will make sure you get to see her before the night is over," T'Challa gripped Amani's hand and pulled her away. She gave Mr.Bowdman a quick goodbye before falling into step with T'Challa. "Thank you," Amani laughed while strolling with the man.
"I can always sense a damsel in distress."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. It's my superpower," the businessman whispered. Amani chuckled as she wrapped her arm through his. "Though I am surprised to see my waitress here. At the Okeke Tech Industries donor party."
"Are you suggesting that I cannot contribute based on my meager salary?"
T'Challa raised his hands in defeat, "I am merely suggesting that there is something you are not telling me, Amani." The undiscovered royal laughed.
"I believe that Ms.Okeke would be more formal T'Challa."
"Ah, you are the mysterious, and rumored to be beautiful, Okeke heiress.
"I wonder which of those intrigues you more. Beautiful or mysterious?" she teased.
"I quite prefer mysteries. Your beauty is just a bonus." The two smiled at each other. "It is nice to formally meet you, Ms. Okeke."
"What are you doing here?" Amani asked, grabbing a flute of champagne from the passing waiter. "I am here to check on my future assets. Make sure everything runs right."
"You're the one buying my parent's company?"
T'Challa winked, grabbing the flute of champagne from Amani and taking a sip. The woman blushed as he handed it back. "I was never told who the buyer was," Amani added, taking another sip from the same place on the glass. "His Majesty King T'Challa Udaku, at your service Ms. Okeke," the king bowed to kiss her hand. Amani choked a little, as the news slammed into her. "King?"
"Yes, please do try to keep up Ms.Okeke," The king chuckled while he grabbed a flute of champagne for himself. He extended his arm once more for the heiress and they continued to stroll about the room, eventually ending up on the balcony. They sat next to each other on a stone bench, each admiring the night sky. "You look beautiful tonight," T'Challa turned, staring at Amani's profile. "I've always been told starlight is my best light," Amani teased, blushing once her eyes met T'Challa's. She grabbed the king's cup and took a long drink.
The sounds of the party wrapping up brought both of them out of their isolated dream world. "May I walk you to your car?" T'Challa extended a hand to help Amani up and off of the bench. "If you would like," Amani smiled. The two walked side-by-side, bypassing anyone who wanted their attention. "Are we still on for tomorrow?" Amani broke the silence.
"Of course. I await our reunion with earnest."
"I guess I should text you my address then."
"I guess you should."
Amani pulled out her phone and quickly sent a text with her information. Placing her phone back in her purse, she looked up at the king. The valet pulled up with her car and she let her smile falter. "I guess I'll see you in the morning."
"I'll see you in the morning, Ms. Okeke." T'Challa smiled, placing a kiss on the back of her hand. She got into the car and sighed as it pulled away from the curb.
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