#the Hogwarts stairs are practically a primary character here

[genderfluidneurodivergent]

Phases of the Moon Pt. 2

Remus had spent much of the last week in a makeshift window seat on the second floor. Although the cement he was sitting on was uncomfortable, it was better than running into Sirius, or interacting with anyone, really. He was able to get through a novel he’d been putting off reading, and he barely thought of Sirius. Barely. 

He watched through the window as Sirius and James chased each other on their brooms. They flew swiftly through the air, ducking and dodging each other, narrowly avoiding the walls of Hogwarts and the trees that seemed to be leaning away from them, more than the wind would allow.

They had made a few laps around the castle before Sirius came to a halt, in front of the window Moony was crouched in. 

“Hi,” he mouthed, his joy fading quickly, a sad smile replacing it. 

Remus wanted to reply, to fix things, but he also wanted to never see Sirius again, so he turned away, crawling out of the window and making his way back to his dorm. 

He staggered up the stairs, but they were always reluctant to let him up, instead leading him into the boys' dorms. This had always given Remus quite a bit of euphoria, but right now, he had somewhere to be. He willed the stairs to cooperate, making his way inside the dorm just before Sirius showed up. 

“You should really go talk to him,” Lily persuaded.

“You should go talk to him!” Remus shot back, standing at the counter.

“Why would that help anything?” Lily gave him a confused glare, continuing, “This is an issue you boys need to sort out on your own.” 

It’s times like these that Remus truly questioned whether Lily was actually twenty years older than the rest of them. 

Somehow, Sirius had once again reached the door to their dorm. Even Remus had to do some heavy bargaining with the stairs, and none of his excuses would work for Sirius.

“Let me in! Lils, I’m sober this time!” Moony raised an eyebrow in Lily’s direction as she reached for the door.

“You have to settle this, you can’t live the rest of your life wondering what could have happened.” Lily’s words struck a chord; as much as he really didn’t want to talk to Sirius, he’d thought about what he would have said or done differently quite a lot lately. 

The door swung open, Lily waved Sirius in, then retreated to her room. She mouthed “You got this” to Moony before closing her door. 

“Hello, Black,” Remus said, sitting in an armchair, leaving Sirius to take the couch, which was far too big for one person.

“Hello, Lupin,” he replied, looking from Moony’s platform boots, to their jeans, to one of their old jumpers, finally looking up at their face. They held an emotionless expression, moving their eyes to look slightly beyond Sirius.

“Moons, I really shouldn’t have said those things. I know that you wouldn’t cheat on me. And I would never think that you’d be shagging a Slytherin.”

“What, ‘cause you don’t think they’re dying to get their hands on me?” he fired back, and with a quick change in demeanour, he continued, “Why are you even here, Black? It’s not like you’re ever going to accept me as your boyfriend!”

“Well, I know damn well the Slytherins are dreaming of snogging you, and even more of them will want you when you show them who you really are,” Remus seemed shocked by this response, his eyes darting from Sirius to the floor.

He continued, “And I think maybe you’ll want one of them more than you want me,” he whispered, almost too quietly.

“I could never want anyone more than I want you,” Remus whispered back.

They sat in silence for a while, until Moony moved next to Sirius on the couch. He rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder, grinning.