#the 'calarts grind' was both very good and bad for me. ultimately good.

[basbird]

I think if I had gone through all my high school and early college art (which is what you’re seeing being reblogged now), it would have been really difficult and would have dealt me “psychic damage” so to speak. or even cringe. But within the last year I started teaching high school students animation and it’s really shown me how much vitriol I treated my younger self with (and how much pointless judgement we treat each other with). I truly felt like enjoying Pokémon and cartoons was some deep character flaw. I was so mean to myself in high school but I have nothing but love for these kids. Being on the other side has allowed me to release a lot of shame.  2016-2017 was when i started getting on the “calarts grind” and you can see me stiffen up in real time because I started being my own voyeur and comparing myself to others WAY more. I spent so much time denying my own interests and strengths in an attempt to be a better artist (???) that I actively made myself a worse artist. lol.