#thats fucking INSANE imagine feeling like ur life is ending bcs u're 23 and u're not rlly at a place where u imagined urself to be
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#thinking.... thinking....... thinking........#abt being a streamer LOL watching ppl stream rlly made me want to do it#what r the chances i meet someone that actually knows abt that stuff#like. in my major or completely random#without feeling ashamed lol like i'd never tell anyone except the 5k followers on a website abt it (all of u)#no but like. i'd need like a gamer pc which i dont have and i'd have to save for (another thing to save for)#aside from the set up like mic and headphones#also . one thing i wouldnt be able to handle well is no one watching me. so hm#but anyways. this is just a wish for now. i hope it doesnt stay as one but. it is#until i figure everything out. i hope i do one day. i rlly want to do it#anyways. enough abt what i desire i feel like i've said too mucg that makes me feel NAKED#the rest of the things will stay between me and god (probably twt w the circle thing or my priv bcs i dont want ppl reading it)#(maybe my journal. who knows bcs that has to do w another thing which is age and feeling like im running out of time)#(no u know what. i'll add one more thing)#there havent been too many things i've wanted to do so much in my life that i actually imagine myself doing but this is one of those things#and like. i rlly hope i get the chance to do it no matter what#my biggest doubt is that im turning 24 this year and lots of ppl who make streams started young so i feel Insecure but thats other problem#i hate hate hate this thought that ur 20s r the prime of ur life and that u must do everything when u're 20 bcs im in my 20s and i feel l#like im running out of time w the amount of things i want to do but im barely 23. im BARELY 23 and feel like im running out of time like#thats fucking INSANE imagine feeling like ur life is ending bcs u're 23 and u're not rlly at a place where u imagined urself to be#but as i said thats an entire other problem. feeling like im running out of time when im just 23.... ugh#ANYWAYS. i feel naked now i hope no one rlly read my tags LOL#jo.txt
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