#that's why i say FFXV represents me learning to love myself

[lunarlegend]

ANYWAY

it doesn't matter, because the whole time i was suffering in that situation, Ignis (a much better chef than any of the people at that restaurant) was waiting for me on the other side

[yuu-be-good]

11 Questions (Pt.II)

Tagged by: @dreamiggy Thank you Emee along with @vundis-scientia since they are the same questions (°◡°♡)

Part I

1. Can you cook? If yes what do you like to make?

Yes though I am more of a baker than a cooker (My culinary teacher would be so disappointed in me nowadays because Yuu been slacking) I do like to Spinach shrimp alfredo pasta. As for baking, I like making cakes/pies and cinnamon rolls.

2. Can you speak a foreign language? Which or which one would you like to?

I can speak basic French, however I would love to learn Spanish and Italian.

3. Which fandom was your first fandom?

I’ve never been so deep in a fandom as I am with FFXV, so it’s hard to say if I was in a fandom before. I do still enjoy FFVII, Game of Thrones and Assassin’s Creed series, The Witcher series along with Resident Evil series.

4. The electricity goes out for a day. How do you spend it?

Funny thing about this is this has happened to me a lot where I live, the strong winds during a thunderstorm were always the cause. I would usually spend the day in my mom and sister’s company or sleep the day away.

5. What’s the first thing you see on your left?

My glasses, well not anymore but they were when I read this.

6. Do you have a useless talent?

I can lockpick. It’s useless because I can never use it yet and I can almost always guess something right or accurately

7. What kind of superpower would you like to have for a day?

Teleportation is probably my guaranteed answer, I just wanna travel with no hassles.

8. Should Tumblr finally fix the @ mentions?

As much as I use them Hells yeah. Though it’s gotten a tad bit bearable it’s still wonky.

9. What is the colour of your eye?

Dark brown

10. In a fantasy universe what would be your weapon of choice?

Any kind of polearm/combat staff or a daggers. 

11. What is your favourite flower and is there a reason why you love it?

Despite disliking the color pink, I absolutely love it on flowers. I love pink peonies and pink and white gladioli. I’m a sucker for their meanings and beauty. I like the peonies because they represent beauty and romance and I love their ruffled petals. While Gladioli hold a special part in me because they are my birth flower and they represent strength and compassion. They’re tall as if nothing can bring them down and beautiful enough to be seen from afar. It’s something I like to tell myself I guess when I’m feeling low.

“How can I represent a strong flower if I keep my spirits low.“

[werm-whole-skwerm]

all of 'em, kiddo. every. single. last. question.

J A Y, YOU FUCKING TURD.

1. How long have you had a Tumblr?5 years. This shit blog turned 5 last month.

2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?It was gross. It was with a boy named Tyler that I was dating at the time. We had been dating for 3 months, and we were at my house watching tv in the den, and I was on his lap, and he leaned down and kissed me and I just went with it. It was gross and sloppy and there was teeth.

3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?The last time I saw my mom before she died, I didn’t hug her, and I wish I did.

4. Favorite Songs at the moment?One Jump Ahead - Sugita TomokazuChim Chim Cher-ee - Terashima TakumaDeal With - OldCodexCollar Full - Panic! At The DiscoBeez In The Trap - Nicki MinajRoundabout - YesI Want You - Savage Garden

5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?I smuggled a friend over state lines without her parents knowing.

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?I tripped at my graduation. Like I hit the step with my shoe and almost fell.

7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?I have a scar on my right upper arm from getting burnt when I was a kid. I have a scar on my right index finger cause I just lost skin on it going to math class one day? I have a scar on the base of my left thumb from getting it closed in a van window as a kid. My right knee is scarred from falling off my bike as a kid and then a week later doing the same thing and scrapping off the scab and making it worse. I used to have self-harm scars, but I don’t know if they’re there anymore.

8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?Hopefully in an apartment with my friends or my girlfriend with a pug named The Pug Formerly Known as Bagels and doing what I love.

9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?I don’t really condone drugs past weed and I don’t personally use any form of drug. The exception being alcohol. I love drinking alcohol. I love being drunk.

10. What are your views on religion?Well I’m an atheist, so I don’t really believe in religion, but also if you prescribe to a certain religion then that’s your business and it’s not my place to pass judgment or try to tell you otherwise. Just don’t shove your religion down my throat and accost me for being a non-believer, and I won’t bother you.

11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?Yes, many many times. When I was a teenager I researched different methods of suicide and how I wanted to do. I had things picked out. I still sometimes want to die. I can’t tell you why really. I can’t say it’s all too much or too much stress or anything, but I’m just tired of living and feel like a waste.

12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.-I’m adopted.-I have 4 siblings, an older brother, an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother in that order.-I have a phobia of newspaper.-I was in JROTC for 4 years and won a national award.-I was in honors and AP classes from the age of 10-17.

13. last really important text you got? I know it’s probably not important sounding, but she had texted me about being lucky I was her friend and it made my life.

14. Can you let go?Eventually. It takes a while, but I’m capable of it.

15. Discuss your first love.He was someone I met on Tumblr. He had messaged me something, I could probably find it in my inbox still probably. But we met through here, and he was just great. I loved everything about him. We talked all night, said things to each other that we wouldn’t tell anyone else, were always talking. Every time I saw him I got butterflies and freaked out. He was honestly something amazing to me, but it never came to fruition. I spent 2 years having an unrequited love for this boy until I realized I was gay.

16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.Roundabout is on here because I fucking love JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and it’s a good song.One-Eighty by Summer is on here because Taking Back Sunday used to be my favorite band when I was younger, and I still really like them, but this was also my favorite song for a while when I was a teenager.Kick Me is on here because it’s the only good song Sleeping With Sirens has had in years.Creature is on here because I used to really love Asking Alexandria, and From Death to Destiny is one of my favorite albums of theirs, and this was briefly my favorite song.Stained Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears is on here because I fucking love Pierce the Veil, and this song is so beautiful and great and emotional.Jesus Christ is on here because I love Brand New, I grew up with it, and it’s sad, like me, and can be applied to any ship to make you sad, and I am about that life. It’s also just really good.I Love You 5 is on here because I just added a bunch of Never Shout Never. I never listen to it anymore, but I did used to love it as a teenager.Truce is on here because Vessel is an amazing album and I love twenty one pilots.Let It Roll is on here because I’m a slut for All Time Low and their sophomore album was great.Guns for Hands is on here because, as I said, Vessel is an amazing album and I love twenty one pilots.

17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.Japan

18. Are you currently missing someone?Not really. The only person I would be missing I’ve been talking to for like 16 and a half hours.

19. What are your views on mainstream music?It’s popular for a reason. It’s not bad, and people should just let people enjoy what the fuck they want without being a dick.

19. At what age do you think people should have sex?I’m not at a place to be able to dictate when someone should have sex. Personally speaking, I feel like anything under 18, when you’re a legal adult, is too soon, but it’s up to you. That being said, children really under 16 shouldn’t, but, again, that’s not my place to say.

20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?Well in 2017, I pulled myself out of a depression and met an amazing girl that’s one of my closest friends that I adore. Downside, I’ve been depressed basically all fucking year so far.

21. What are your strongest beliefs?Equal rights for all genders and sexualities, true equal opportunity for people to have homes and doctor. God. I don’t even know anymore.

22. Who are you closest to in your family?My nephew I guess. He’s more like a friend to me than a nephew. My mom biologically speaking I guess.

23. How important do you think education is?So fucking important.

24. What’s one of your favorite shows?Catfish

25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?God, everything. I’ve gotten better about my anxiety and depression. I’ve come to terms with my sexuality. I’ve opened up more, been more honest. I’m a better person now.

26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.Sakurai Takahiro, Yamanaka Takuya, Morita Taka, Eguchi Takuya, Suzuki Tatsuhisa

27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.Naruto: Road to Ninja. Naruto gets thrown into Bizzaro World essentially.

28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?Boi, this is gay, but Cam. She’s just astounding to me. I love learning things about her and talking to her about everything. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have the biggest crush on her?

29. What kind of person attracts you?Usually the nerd type. Or the tattooed and pierced type.

30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?Uh, well, I have a huge crush on one of my closest friends with like no chance of it being reciprocated? I guess that counts.

31. Name something that you miss.Candy and soda. I’m on a diet.

32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.-Get my shit sent off to my new college-Definitively find an apartment-At least play some FFXV and BOTW-Start driving lessons-Pass my classes

33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? The highlight has just been reconnecting with Cam more closely. The lowest is probably stressing myself out so bad I almost cried.

34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?Suck dick

35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why?Just me as a whole. I’m insecure about everything I am because my whole life I’ve been told I wasn’t good enough, that my sister was better than I was, that I had to live up to these expectations, and now I’m insecure about my body, personality, ethnicity. Just everything.

36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?Roundabout, Kick Me, and Stained Glasses Eyes and Colorful Tears. They each mean something different to me, some aspect of my life represented. The weeb, the wannabe rebel, and the sad sappy bitch.

37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?I have a pink teddy bear named Pinky Bear that i got in 2000 when I first moved to Georgia to live with my new family. My dad’s coworker brought us toys and she was my first teddy bear and she still sleeps in my bed to this day.

38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death? My mom, grandma, and uncle have all died.

39. What is your purpose in life?To die.

40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?It was a couple months ago, maybe 2. It was the ending of Final Fantasy XV.

41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do? Play video games, eat junk food, watch anime. I don’t really know.

42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?Panic! At The Disco because none of Brendon’s music sounds the same and there’s such a wide variety.

43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.I like the fact, I guess, I’m pretty loyal to my friends, I like what I like and that’s just gonna be a thing I’ll talk about forever, I’m pretty decently chill and try to make everyone feel welcome. Boi, I dislike the fact that I’m fucking stubborn to a goddamn t,I will grit my teeth and bear through anything anyone does to me no matter how depressed or uncomfortable it makes me, I will literally break myself just to do something for someone else.

44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make? Nope :)

45. What was the last decision you regretted making?I sent Cam a stupid pickup line because it was both hilarious to me and I wanted an excuse to flirt with her, and I wanted to die.

46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”?Yes. Wholeheartedly.

47. Do you ever wish you were famous?Online famous yes. Not real famous. I wanna be a great online personality and cosplayer. But I’m a loser who doesn’t have a personality or do cosplay well.

48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?My ex boyfriend blamed me for causing his anxiety attacks and threatened suicide multiple times when I realistically, or even joked, about breaking up with him. It really messed me up.

50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?I want to have left someone happier than when i found them. If I can make one person’s life better, I’ll be happy.

51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?All the time.

52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?Not yet.

53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?Of course I have.

54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?Nothing. No one ever does anything for me.

55. What is one of your favorite memories?All night roadtrip to Nashville with my friends. I won an InuYasha at a truck stop.

58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?My ex girlfriend sent me the Clear nendoroid I really wanted.

59. Have you ever had your heart broken?So many times.

60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?Literally everything. Take your pick, I’ve wanted to change it.

61. What is something you feel like you are really good at? Being depressed.

62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?Collar FullSarah SmilesCamisadoHurricaneGirls/Girls/Boys

65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?Checked on me when I was feeling depressed.

66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?Bother Cam is she’s awake. if not, then just watch Youtube videos until I basically pass out.

68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?Donald Trump, the Trump administration, the republican party

69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?Halloween cause free dress up holiday.

70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.Someone, I cannot remember her name, called me pretty out in public and it made my life????

71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?Does Sasuke Uchiha count????

72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?Concrete because I’m listening to it.

74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?twenty one pilots’ cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love.

75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?Nope. Never.

76. What’s one thing you can not live without?My phone. It has everything i need on it.

77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?I literally have no idea.

78. Are you a girly girl?Fam, I’m barely a girl half the time.

79. What color is your bed?My sheets are brown, but my quilt is mainly red.

80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?I prefer no guys.

81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?I’m constantly frustrated with their existence.

82. Do you have a best friend?Like two or three.

82. What song makes you cry the most?SECOND & SEBRING

83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?I have no idea tbh. I don’t watch many movies.

84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?Lowkey wanna skydive, but terrified of heights.

85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?My existence.

86. Ever been really drunk?Almost every weekend.

87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?That would require people knowing and caring about me.

89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why? Everything I’ve ever said and done.

90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?That’s what my Tumblr is for.

91. Do you like somebody?Yes. So fucking much. I think I’m dying.

92. Craziest shit ever done?Left town in the middle of the night with friends without telling anyone?

93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?I dunno. I don’t really watch the news.

94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?Nixie, Valor, Elliott

95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?Ugh. Yeah. It’s Marie.

96. Are you in a relationship?Nope, but I sure wish.

97. Do you enjoy drama?When I’m not involved.

98. Are you a virgin?Sure as hell am.

99. Are you short or tall?Short af, fam.

100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? Andres - 31Olivia - 26Ariana - 18Jacob - 17

[meeedeee]

Final Fantasy FXV: Thoughts RSS FEED OF POST WRITTEN BY FOZMEADOWS

When I first heard that FFXV was going to break with franchise tradition by having an all-male central team, I was more than a little surprised. Final Fantasy has always been distinguished as much by its memorable – and central – female characters as by any other element; which is why, somewhat paradoxically, I never felt particularly angry about the switch, either. As a whole, video games are still male-dominated in a way that frequently sets my teeth on edge, but Final Fantasy has a strong line of credit with me: whatever my thoughts on the state of gaming as an industry – and while criticism of Square Enix’s decision in this context is nonetheless valid – I felt I could still attempt the game itself.

Thus far, at roughly eight hours in – which is, I’m aware, not very far at all – I’m enjoying myself immensely, though possibly not in a way that was intended. And in order to satisfactorily explain why that is, I first need to say a little about my history with the franchise.

The first Final Fantasy I ever played was VIII, which always made me something of an oddity among my friends: unlike everyone who started the series at VII or earlier, I had no established sense of how the combat system ought to work, and so took the VIII model, which was a widely-hated departure from canon, as my yardstick for the series. This meant I was not only frustrated by the traditional setup used in VII and IX, but irritated by the more cartoonish character designs. Which isn’t to say that I disliked either game, exactly: just that they were always less beloved to me than VIII and, later on, X and XII, whose advanced graphics and combat systems more closely resembled what VIII had been trying – with, admittedly, more ambition than success – to achieve.

Even now, XII remains my favourite Final Fantasy. The writing and voice acting were both incredible, and even though Vaan, rather than Ashe, was the POV character, I loved the departure from canon that made him a non-romantic participant in her narrative. By contrast, XIII was a clusterfuck, so much so that I quickly set it aside as unplayable: the writing was naff, the voice acting melodramatic (with the single exception of Sazh), the premise confused and the combat frustratingly garbled. I couldn’t understand how the best aspects of XII had been so thoroughly disregarded, and as such, I never bothered with the sequel, which makes XV the first new Final Fantasy I’ve played since 2010.

Aesthetically, then, XV is paying a great deal of homage to my favourite games in the series – VIII and XII – which predisposes me to love it. The opening premise of an invading empire and a missing heir to the throne is evocative of both Galbadia and Archadia, with Noctis’s early quest to recover lost weapons from ancient tombs running a close parallel to Ashe’s quest in XII. The fact that Noctis, Prompto, Ignis and Gladio spend the game driving around in a sports car might seem ridiculous on the surface, especially if you’ve got a preference for the airships of VII, IX and XII, but only if you’ve forgotten the convertibles and jeeps of VIII, where driving on the worldmap was also a feature, and where fancy cars were a staple of the more dramatic cutscenes.

In fact, there’s always been something of a roadtrip vibe to a lot of the Final Fantasy games, and not only in terms of the main party journeying thither and yon across multiple fictional worlds. The many flashbacks to Lord Braska’s pilgrimage in X show him broing it up with Auron and Jecht (to whom Gladio bears more than a superficial physical and vocal resemblance), while their decision to sphere-capture their adventures is a clear forerunner to Prompto’s photography. VIII didn’t lack for female characters, but the initial SEED test features a grumpily all-male party, with Squall, Zell and Seifer forced into a temporary alliance. Squall and Zell were always something of an odd pair, but delightfully so, and their dynamic has been revived – and, I’d argue, improved – in the byplay between Noctis and Prompto. Likewise, Ignis’s dry drawl and dryer expression are more than a little reminiscent of Balthier, though his dutiful priorities make him a closer equivalent to Auron and Basch.

In other words, the four protagonists of XV are themselves a homage to the male relationships of previous Final Fantasy games, and quite clearly so. Together, they interact much as you’d expect of a quartet of twentysomething men, joking and snarking at each other in equal measure. The writing and voice acting aren’t as good as XII, but they’re nowhere near the abysmal mess of XIII. I’d peg them as being on par with X: naff at times, but somehow endearingly so, and overall engaging. Granted, the background plot is complex – it helps to have watched the prequel movie, Kingsglaive, and there’s also an accompanying anime series – but part of what makes the quartet watchable is how clearly established their friendship is: we’re getting to know the characters by how they know each other.

As far as the gameplay and levelling systems go, I’ve got no complaints thus far. Even without being able to run through the full tutorial for fighting – my version kept glitching when it came to learning how to warp – I’ve still found it intuitive to use. It’s a dissimilar combat system to most FF games, in that it’s not turn-based, but neither is it as blindingly fast-paced or poorly-designed as the system used in XIII, and the ability to warp to targets makes for some engaging tactical options. It helps that I’ve just come off a huge Dragon Age: Inquisition jag: my preferred approach to combat in both games can best be described as “running in headfirst with a large sword and hitting things until they fall down,” with magic and projectile weapons left on auto until or unless I’m specifically forced to use them. Players who favour different tactics might have more complaints to level here, but for my purposes, it works just fine.

But what I’m really loving about XV is the extent to which – I assume unintentionally – it’s both hilarious and heavily queercoded.

I’ll deal with the latter first, because it’s arguably the more contentious point. Let me be clear: I’m not for one second giving Square Enix props for deliberately creating queer representation here, because I don’t think for a second that it’s what they actually meant to do – or at least, if they’re trying to muddle vaguely in that direction, then they haven’t had the guts to confirm it. Culturally, the lines we draw been homosocial and homosexual behaviour tend to be as historically arbitrary as they are fiercely policed, with any overlap subject to argument on both sides. But cultural differences is, I suspect, a large part of why XV reads the way it does: the game is originally Japanese, and in trying to cater to both Japanese and Western masculine ideals, Square Enix has wandered into what plays as a rather spectacularly queer compromise.

First and most obviously, there’s the wardrobe issue. Clearly, the all-black leather aesthetic is meant to look Manly and Cool and Deeply Heterosexual In A Traditionally Masculine Way, and if the designs were simple, functional and militaristic, then that would probably work, even given the youth and beauty of the characters (more of which shortly). But Final Fantasy, like a great many Japanese properties, is famous for its distinctive clothing designs, which means the characters look less like soldiers and more like scene kids en route to a metal concert. Specifically: Noctis and Prompto look like they shop at Hot Topic, Ignis is wearing Cuban heeled boots, driving gloves and seme glasses (seriously) and Gladio consistently looks like he’s posing for a Grindr photo. Like. I’m aware that he’s meant to be the most hypermasculine  straight male self-identification fantasy of the four, what with the scar and the tattoos and the devastatingly Japanese mullet, but generally speaking, ripped guys in open leather shirts and tight leather pants are more visually reminiscent of Mardi Gras than the military. I’m just saying.

The fact that you can customise their outfits (to a degree), and that picking a new wardrobe changes their stats, isn’t a new development: in fact, it’s something the franchise first introduced with dress spheres in the all-female X-2, which makes its presence in the all-male XV a subtly pleasing symmetry. And yet it runs up against a standard of masculine gaming: changing your armour is one thing, because armour is Manly, but changing your clothes – which, stat bonuses or not, is what we’re functionally talking about – is something else entirely. It’s a truly strange demarcation, because there are plenty of instances where video game characters change outfits of their own accord, in cutscenes or for plot-specific purposes, or where the change represents a specific, all-over upgrade. But the option to alter the appearance of male characters for largely aesthetic reasons – to change how they look to you, the player, in clothes that are recognisably modern and fashionable – is not, I suspect, a common feature of games aimed at heterosexual men, nor is the in-game implication of the characters toting around a bunch of fancy matching outfits a particularly straight-coded thing.

And, okay. Even though we queer folk often telegraph our identities through fashion, there’s a degree of reductive stereotype inherent in judging sexuality on the basis of clothing choice, and if that were the only issue here, I wouldn’t have brought it up. (Except, of course, to point out the truly delightful ridiculousness of watching four goth boys run around the countryside in full club gear, often while complaining about the temperature. It’s like they’re headed for Glastonbury with monsters.) But the queercoding of XV is a package deal: it’s not just the clothes, but the clothes in combination with the characters themselves, the dialogue they’re given, and the way the four of them occupy the game.

Specifically: Final Fantasy is a gaming franchise that’s well aware, historically speaking, of its very large female fanbase. Even though the majority of the games have male protagonists, they’ve traditionally been designed for a straight female gaze – and more, I would argue, a teenage female gaze, given that the characters are usually in their teens or very early twenties – in line with aesthetics more Japanese than Western. Former heroes like Cloud, Squall, Zidane, Tidus and Vaan might be formidable warriors in-game, but they’re never beefed up: they’re overwhelmingly built lean, with much longer, more stylised hair than you typically see on masculine Western characters. They wear jewellery – often visible in their base character designs, and not just as a hidden accessory slot – and offhand, aside from various weird lines around Cloud crossdressing in VII, I can’t think of any real instances of sexism or misogyny from those characters that aren’t actively shut down. In fact, the number of female characters in the earlier games ensures that, in addition to any love interests, the leading men also have platonic female friends – something that’s still damnably unusual in most forms of media, let alone in video games.

All of which, thus far, holds true in XV, too: Princess Lunafreya, Noctis’s intended bride, is his childhood friend, as is Gladio’s sister, Iris. When the game begins, Noctis and his friends are travelling to meet Lunafreya before their (politically arranged) wedding; when everything goes awry because betrayal and empire, they’re forced to regroup and end up hanging out with Iris, who has escaped to the city of Lesallum. That’s where I’m up to so far, and what immediately stands out to me, as someone who spent a not inconsiderable portion of their adolescence and early twenties hanging around single straight guys, is the fact that the quartet barely ever talk about women at all. And the thing is, I can see why it’s been done! Final Fantasy has a heavy female fanbase, and in any case, they’re not the sort of games where the male soldiers sit around reminiscing about sexual conquests. But contextually, because of the way the game is presented – four friends driving and talking shit in real time, mocking each other, while initially on the way to see one of them married – the lack of talk about sex or romance of any kind is jarring.

Which isn’t to say the subject of women never comes up at all; it’s just that, when it does, the overwhelming impression is of dialogue written with a female audience in mind, but without any awareness of the queercoding implications of its delivery by these particular male characters. This means, for instance, that there’s a scene where the boys find a magazine article about Lunafreya’s wedding dress, and all of them start cooing about how beautiful it will be; Ignis notes that the dress is bespoke, designed by Vivienne Westwood, and Prompto starts enthusing about how pretty Lunafreya will look in it. In Hammerhead, the buxom mechanic Cindy, whose character design is clearly meant to please the straight male players, is someone who, in real life, you’d expect a bunch of straight boys on an ostensible stag trip to talk about. Except that they never do; and instead, the one time there’s a reference made to Gladio “chatting someone up,” it turns out to be a grumpily endearing scientist who wants you to go catch some frogs as penance for interrupting her research.

And then there’s Noctis taking a tour of Lestallum with Iris. Throughout this mini-quest, you’re given a set of binary conversational options to either encourage Iris in her enthusiasm for the town, or to disapprove. Then, at the end, she coyly suggests that being on the tour was almost like a date – an assertion you can either play off lightly, or outright deny: pointedly, there is no option to agree. If you deny, she laughs and says “you could at least play along for once,” suggesting that Iris knows Noctis isn’t interested in her and is willing to tease him about it – an odd thing to include, if you don’t want the audience to wonder about his preferences.

A little earlier in the game, Prompto asks Noctis what he ought to take more photos of: apart from declining, the only options are “me” (meaning Noctis), Ignis or Gladio. Again, there’s a gameworld logic to this – the photos are ultimately viewed by the player, who gets to pick which character they want to record the most – but in terms of the impact in setting, this is not an outstandingly heterosexual moment. Very possibly, there exists a group of straight bros whose designated photographer is happy asking, “Hey bro, which of our friends do you want to see more in pictures?” in an established No Homo way, and if so, more power to them. But if you want to find a context where that sort of exchange is an everyday thing, then look no further than the queer regions of Instagram. (Plus, it’s kind of conspicuous how often Prompto, when assessing the day’s photos, comments on how good Gladio the Perpetually Shirtless looks.)

And then there’s the occasional quirks of dialogue and voice acting: choices that, again, would be minor on their own, but which collectively become suggestive of something specific. Early on, Cor sends Gladio, Prompto and Ignis to make a distraction at a military blockade while he and Noctis sneak inside: the gambit is successful, and when the group reunites afterwards, Gladio says cheerfully, “The Niffs couldn’t keep their eyes off us!”. To which Ignis quips, in reference to Noctis and Cor’s arrival, “You spared us their attentions.” Offhand, I can think of about a dozen different ways to word that exchange that don’t remotely brush up against innuendo, and which are far more colloquially and contextually apt besides. The eyes/attentions combo is the kind of thing you’d expect a pair of femme fatales to say after seducing the guards and knocking them out in an action movie. (The fact that we don’t actually witness the initial distraction only adds to its ambiguity.) And yet, this is what they’ve gone with.

Other examples are smaller, but they all add up. Whenever you find new ingredients for Ignis to cook with, he stops to announce, with particular vocal flamboyance, that he’s just thought up a new recipe (exclamation mark!), and whips out a notebook to jot it down. (“I’ll taste test for ya,” Gladio says, in a playfully growling tone that always seems to have one eye on the bedroom.) And then there’s Prompto, who I’m inclined to think of as a confused bisexual puppy, whose voice turns dreamily fanboyish when discussing Cor’s exploits, and who gets just as excited on receiving Cor’s praise as he does at the prospect of seeing Lunafreya in her pretty wedding dress.

Put this all together, then, and what you have are a bunch of young men who are, by Western standards, more pretty than handsome, dressed in fashionable clothes and accessories that are more evocative of queer or queer-friendly subcultures than not, and who care enough about their appearance to have multiple outfits on hand at any given time. (You can, if you’re willing to sacrifice an accessory slot to aesthetics, buy hair gel for them to use.) These men are knowledgeable about fashion, have a platonic concern for the women they encounter, are constantly photographing one another for each other, have zero comments to make about the stupidly hot female mechanic unless they’re praising her competence, and whose idea of “chatting someone up” apparently means “talking to the grumpy frog lady about the local wildlife population”. This isn’t me leaping to conclusions, here: in the immortal words of Buffy Summers, I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.

All of which is a way of saying that, thus far, I’m delighted with Final Fantasy XV, though not in the ways I’d expected. The characters and setting are a homage to my favourite games in the series, and while I worried the absence of female characters would grate on me, our quartet of bumbling chocobros is stupidly endearing. At this point, Noctis is functionally useless as a prince: even when he’s recognised, the local yokels have no qualms about asking him to take their deliveries or run their errands, and while random sidequests are an RPG staple, they’re usually somewhat tailored to the protagonist’s perceived status. In FFXV, everything is rendered hilarious by the fact that Noctis is a prince, and is seen as a prince, and is still being asked to catch frogs in a swamp and grab shit from some random marketeer’s broken van.

(He’s also gloriously introverted: in dealing with people, his responses usually vary from monosyllabic to resigned disinterest, but when you come across a stray cat in need of feeding – a tiny sidequest that’s a deliberate throwback to Squall doing likewise in VIII – he talks to it at greater length and with more enthusiasm than he otherwise displays with anyone.)

As far as I’m concerned, FFXV is a magic road trip with a bunch of queer boys who have their wardrobes together, but not their shit. I can identify. And so, I suspect, can everyone else who’s fallen into the trashpile of this visually beautiful, thematically mishmash game. I honestly don’t care about the random anachronisms, like the fact that they’re carrying smartphones and fighting magic robots, but still using paper maps and newspapers, to say nothing of using a fucking dog as a messenger for vital correspondence through a warzone – or rather, I do care, but only because the clear discontinuity of it somehow plays as a feature instead of a bug. The entire thing ought to be ridiculous, and it kind of is, but pleasingly so, like a cat in a Halloween costume. The characters don’t take each other seriously, which frees the player up to do likewise – to laugh with them, rather than at them. And frankly, I’ll take that over XIII’s self-important melodrama any day of the week.

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