#that's so fucking funny tho. brown on the outside white on the inside...i need to call more people coconuts

[totally-original-artist]

coconut is brown outwards but white inside

OH

o my god...

I'M coconut...

[ultimatetornshipper]

To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee 

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did.  And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

 I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

[woos-sweaterpaws]

i want to get to know you so do 1-50 (except 29) 🌻

This is really really sweet of you anon thank u!!

__________________________________________

1. how many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 6 in my bed rn

and over 20 plushies

its never enough

2. do you believe in soulmates?

yes i do

3. would you ever kiss a stranger?

yes but not if its like total-never-spoke-to-them stranger

4. describe your dream house

i would prefer not a house but a nice penthouse-loft-apartment in a big city with a nice view and big windows

interior would be minimalistic style with light wood and a big double sized bed for me (since i dont think i will have a partner lol)

i would love an apartment with multiple floors or like a half-floor for the bedroom

5. do you usually use cash or card?

card

6. do you enjoy driving in general?

i hate it with a burning passion

7. do you like your name? if not, what would you change your name to?

i dont HATE my name

there are better/prettier ones but i think mine fits me

i would still like a more international name (since mine is kinda weird in the english speaking world) but  i dont have smth specific in mind

8. what’s your favorite cuisine?

italian ~

9. how often do you get massages?

i dont o.o i got some a few years ago because my back is fucked but otherwise never

10. do you play video games? if so, what games?

generally chill games like animal crossing, stardew valley and such, the big nintendo titles like mario kart and zelda, binding of isaac

11. do you prefer to color with colored pencils, crayons, or markers?

colored pencils!

12. what other fandoms are you in?

oh boy

okay so apart from all of kpop and thai dramas im in

skam

aftg

hp

trc

the mentioned video games if you wanna count that as fandoms

im probably forgetting a ton rn

13. do you have a signature in your style/everyday outfits?

if its comfy i like it

usually involves hoodies or boys shirts

i prefer if i dont have to worry about showing skin somewhere i dont want to

14. do you have any pets? if not, do you want some in the future?

no i dont have any atm but i had bunnies, birds and a guniea pig before. and yes i want cats when i move out

15. do you give objects you own a name? (car, house, plants, etc)

i named my cactus but it died (plants hate me) i also name all my plushies and random animals on the street

16. do you like the weather where you live?

its okay yea. summers are not too hot but i wish the winters were cold enough for snow :(

17. if you could wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?

black! its generally my comfort color in clothes

18. do you like making small talk?

WHO tf likes smalltalk? no!

19. what’s your favorite social media platform?

tumblr 100%

20. have you ever been to hawaii?

no :(

21. name a fashion trend that you absolutely hate

no offence but crop tops

i dont hate them they look good on you guys

but i hate that i cant find hoodies and shirts in womans sections anymore that arent cropped (ive been searching the past 6 months and everytime i like smth its cropped - i especially hated that when looking for oversized hoodies)

i dont wear them myself because cold so it sucks not finding cute clothes

i also fundamentally disagree with mustard-yellow

22. name a fashion trend that you absolutely love

oversized hoodies with ripped jeans and boots was my winter favourite

23. what was the last text you sent?

“okay” in out family groupchat lol

24. when making plans, do you like to organize or go with the flow when the time comes?

i like it to be organized but not be the one who actually organizes it if that makes sense?

25. what do you want to name your future kids?

i dont want kids but i wanna name my cats mochi and (c)leo (depending on gender)

26. do you have a type?

with looks i generally prefer darker hair with pretty eyes but if im comfortable with u it doesnt matter

if u like cuddling, are patient and gentle and love to make jokes that arent funny i probably like u lots

27. when was the last time you kissed someone?

like...kissed kissed? in grade 7 so...2012? my first and last kiss lol

28. how often do you cook?

as often as necessary, as little as possible (i cant really cook except for pasta and stuff so im mostly living of instant meals and “cut up a lot of things and put it in a pan until its browned” kinda stuff)

30. do you always remember your dreams?

no i dont

i had a dream diary once but that was a disaster

31. do you believe in ghosts?

yea kinda

i believe in invisible spirits/souls living with us yea

32. would you ever want to move outside of your country?

sometimes? im too scared to actually do it but there are many nice cities i would love to live in

33. describe your first love

well idk about love...it was always more of an obsession kinda thing and it was never a two-way-thing so i never had a real first love...

34. more peanut butter or more jelly?

i hate peanuts so no pb and only jelly (or nutella if you love me)

35. do your irls know about your tumblr account?

they know i have a tumblr but only my best friend actually follows me (and a high school friend i lost contact to)

my other friends dont have tumblr so they dont care

36. do you prefer hot or cold beverages?

cold!

37. when was the last time you finished a book?

i reread the aftg series last december for the 4th time

38. what would you want your wedding colors to be?

green-white? like a soft bright pastel green? maybe add pastel pink too

39. how long do you let your nails grow?

if i can see them clearly from the inside of my hand i cut them

40. if you could stay at a certain age, what age would you pick?

probably 19 or 7 theres no in between

41. who do you think has it easiest: older siblings or younger siblings?

older siblings because they learn responsibility earlier

i dont have siblings tho so idk

42. how often do you post on social media?

on tumblr daily, on insta never, on twitter occasionally if fun stuff happens

43. do you enjoy big groups?

nope

44. do you like it when you’re awaken by the sounds of birds chirping?

its better than my alarm but waaay too early so nope

45. which hand is your favorite?

left?

46. how many people do you follow?

1152 (yes i might have a problem)

47. how many followers do you have?

359 on my main and 27 on my fandom side account

48. how many drafts do you have?

53 but i use it to save posts i find interesting or that contain links i might need later

49. do you hang or fold your sweaters?

hang because im lazy and it saves space on the clothes dryer rack

50. even numbers or odd?

odd!

[jiminsfault]

50 questions tag

I got tagged by @yoongs-jeontae ! Thank you💖

What colors is your hairbrush? It’s like a brown-ish shimmery color? Idk o.o

What food would you never eat? I probably would never be able to eat the meat of rabbits or deers, sheep and that kind of stuff

Are you usually hot or cold? I’m always a cozy crispy amount of warmth under my blanket. But when I’m outside I go from both extremes because I’m super sensitive so, spring/summer: always hot, autumn/winter: always cold. There is no inbetween

What did you do 45 minutes ago? I was in an online class and got math tutoring🤠 it was horrible thanks for asking my brain is fried

Favorite chocolate? The really dark kind. It’s the only chocolate I’ll ever really crave. I can bear milk chocolate if I have to

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? I hAve actually omg! It was a handball game and super boring, I didn’t know whats going on ever and only clapped when everyone else did🤡 (I was forced by my ex to tag along I absolutely hate sports)

What was the last thing you said out loud? “Oh my god, that was horrible” right after I ended the call with my teacher skckjs

Favorite ice cream flavor? Brownie fudge? Is that what it’s called? The chocolate ice cream with brownie pieces in it, it’s so fUcking gOOD sorry for cursing it’s necessary

What was the last thing you drank? Some nice crispy wAter

What kind of wallet do you have? A small black one because I didn’t think about practicality when buying it. Currently looking for a bigger one.

What was the last thing you ate? I actually have no clue if that’s the english word for it but kebab? IT’S DÖNER IN GERMAN

Did you buy clothes last weekend? I haven’t bought clothes in months actually omg

What was the last sports event you saw? I watched the soccer game that’s like a really big thing back in 2018 🤠🤠

Who was the last person you texted? My mom cus she’s out buying groceries and asked me what kind of ice cream I want kekdjejd

Do you like camping? I despise camping with my entire being. When I was little my mom always forced me to go on 500 camping trips a year and I feel the biggest rage in me when I think about all the bugs and uncomfortable nights I- will not continue talking about this now.

Do you eat vitamins? No, like not at all. Not one vitamin has entered my body in a few weeks. I used to have these tablets that disappear in water but I stopped drinking that because I only take them bc of my muscles and currently I’m not leaving the house so,,, don’t need them >:)

When was the last time you traveled? The last time I full on traveled like outside of the country was in 2018 when my class went to italy because of our graduation 🤠 trauma

Do you like sunbathing? I can’t really answer that because if I sunbathe I will burn. Like literally I’m getting a sunburn just from walking to the train on a sunny day if I don’t have the strongest suncream on??? My skin is very🤡 so yeah idk if I like it? Never tried

Asian or Italian food? Asian food absolutely. I’m not sure about italian food because I just don’t know anything about italian kitchen but I dO knOw that theres so much variety with asian food? And so far I’ve loved every asian dish I’ve tried so,,

Do you drink soda? Nope. I stopped drinking soda four years ago I think because my skin was sO bad and I gained weight so quickly without eating a lot so I stopped drinking soda and tada! Barely getting pimples now😎 also it’s just tastier like my mouth doesn’t stick anymore and I don’t literally feel the sugar on my teeth?? (Although I do sometimes sip on a bit of coke but only on special occasions)

What color socks are you wearing now? White with a very,, aqua? blue stripe? And the name of the brand in the same color🤠 fashion

When was the last time you were speeding? I don’t drive🤡😔

What are you afraid of? Everything pretty much. Commitment, people leaving me, talking to people, failing, succeeding, should I continue?

What can you see if you turn left? A lot? It’s inside my room (my bed is in the right corner) but first thing would be my switch cus she laying next to me

What kind of housework you like the least? I actually love housework? At least the things that I do. Like I never mow the lawn because that’s not my job yknow? But I like emptying and filling the dish washer, cleaning pans in the sink, doing the laundry, wiping the floor. Maybe I should become a maid?

What is the first thing you think of when you hear someone talking in a language you don’t know? I try to hear what language it is, like I try guessing at least. Of course I don’t know what every language sounds like but it’s a fun little game I have for myself when I’m bored in public transpo

Do you sleep on your back or side? On my right side towards the wall. At least at night, when I take a nap I sleep on my left side towards the room. Idk why pls don’t ask me, I can’t fall asleep otherwise.

You crave fast food, where do you go? So around where I live there aren’t a lot of options? Also in germany in general we don’t have the fast food fest that america has, so I always go for either Mcdonald’s or Subway.

What is your lucky number? 5. I don’t know when it became my favorite/lucky number but somehow at some point in time it’s become the number I always use when someone wants me to guess or answer a question, I use it for picking things and all that🤡🤠 maybe it’s because it sounds rly funny in german

Who was the last person you talked to? In person my mom cus she’s the only one I see nowadays. On the phone would be two of my friends and I also talked to my tutoring teacher through discord so? Pick👁👁

Do you eat meat? I would say no if I wouldn’t sometimes do slip some meat in. It’s very rare and a small amount when I do. Idk how this developed because I used to eat meat multiple times a week but at some point I started only eating chicken and only in smaller amounts and sometimes not even once in two weeks. I eat fish tho? Does that count?

What was the last song you listened to? “Love without tragedy/mother mary” by rihanna because I was feeling the 10’s last night at 5am🤠

Last book? I actually just tried to find the english title of it but I can’t find any sign of it being translated so,, “der Totenzeichner” by Veit Etzold. I read this book twice, once in 9th grade and once just recently and I will not get enough of it. Another one of his books “Final cut” is laying on my bedside table waiting for me to start it. He’s an iconic author.

What is your favourite day of the week? If we were speaking from when it’s a regular routine and I would go to uni, I’d say Monday. I know I sound like a psycho but saying friday or saturday is my favorite day is basic because obviously everyone loves the weekend. Monday is a great day usually because my day starts in third period and does still go 6 classes like regular days but it feels nice to go into uni later in the day so I always appreciate it. (Tho saturday do be hitting different)

Do you know the alphabet song backwards? I don’t even know it forwards 🤡😔

Favorite coffee/tea? I don’t drink coffee but my favorite tea is probably fennel tea, everyone I know hates it, especially without sugar but I love it :(

Favourite shoes? From the ones I personally own I’d say my nike zoom 2ks because they look good and are super comfortable. Shoes that I wish I would have would be Dr. Martens but I’m pOor🤡 I am absolutely a whore for sneakers so I won’t even start listing all the sneakers I love

When do you usually go to sleep? If I’m on schedule around 11-12pm of actually going into the bed physically and falling asleep 30/40 minutes later. While I’m now constantly at home I do still physically get into bed at the same time but I stay up from 2-7am depending on how fun people are, if I play a game, if I read/draw, have a series or movie to watch. I’m insane I am aware🤡

When do you usually wake up? Again, when I’m on schEdule I wake up mondays and tuesdays at 6.30am, from wednesday to friday at 6.10am, on the weekend around 10am. Right now? It’s a surprise everyday. Sometimes I’m up at 4pm, sometimes I’m up at 10am, today I was actually super early with 9.30 so😎

Sunrise or sunset? That’s actually so hard because I do see the sunset a lot more than rise since I have my rOllÄdEn down so I don’t actually remember what a sunrise looks like. Because I have no other choice I say sunset. With doubt.

Do you like your bed soft or hard?  I thINK my bed is hard? I once laid on a friend’s bed that was super soft and I’m pretty sure I didn’t like it

Describe the plate you are eating from? They’re from ikea. They’re white with like blue swirls idk my mom bought them I didn’t make the decisions

Your favorite type of alcohol? Currently I don’t really drink alcohol (mainly because of the lack of opportunities) bUt when I do drink I really like sweet sparkling wine (I googled this I’m not sure if that’s the right word idkd)

Do you like board games? Depending on which people I play with. If a person is getting angry that they’re losing it makes the game absolutely suck and since I’m surrounded by those people I haven’t made good memories with board games kcjdjs,,, if the company is fun I like the games too tho

If you had a car, what kind would it be? Unrealisticly I’d love to own a Lamborghini Aventador or Urus because those cars are just mouth-watering to me. Since I most likely won’t ever be able to afford either of those, I’d love to have a Fiat 500. I fell in love with this car like,,, it’s so cute and the inside is pretty too so everything fits for me the way I want it to. I’ll have to settle for a way less nice car tho once I get a license, at least for a while🤡

Do you know how to change car tires? In theory yes

Dream country? Like to live in? Damn idk. I’d love to live in a country with like,, cULTURE you know? Something exciting and cool to look at, less stuck up people almans be really boring 🤡 so maybe something like spain or italy, maybe america if yall vote for a different president. Japan or Korea would be super cool too I- the whole world ma’am? I couldn’t live in countries like idk hawaii or sumn because of the heat so I’ll just mfing stay in germany😔😔

If you could choose from any jobs in the world, what would you like to do? If I would have the chance I’d love to become an actor because that just seems super cool. But like I’m not nearly attractive enough for people to want to look at me on a scEen so nO

What would you like to try to do? I’m pretty set on trying to learn how to dance like that’s probably not as exciting as other things I could do but :/ yeh idk

And what is stopping you? Literally just me being lazy and talking myself into believing I won’t be good without even trying nsncjsks (also yes I seperated these questions because otherwise it wouldn’t be 50)

thIs was sO mUch omg sjjcjs I’m literally exhausted from all these questions😩😩

I’m tagginggg @gallhali @shadowsremedy if u wanna!

[bonernas]

A Song of Bobs and Berts

Part 2/7

Word Count: 4,270

Disclaimer: This is a crackfic about the different Bobsonas, based on actor Robert Downey Jr. and his questionable fashion sense. It also includes some hints on other people and things related to the MCU. For more info about the Bobsonas and their respectful creators, please check the link below!

Warnings: rated T, no Bobs were harmed in the making of this fic, mentions of (use of) drugs, swearing, this is a mobster fic set in the noire genre so blood, weapons and violence might become a thing, skipped the typical homophobia and racism tho but a lot of people use roids and crystal

Summary:  When Bobster Di Seta, one of Twunky Town’s most feared mobsters, finds out that Boberto Laineux, brother of Bobster’s arch enemy, Robert “The Bobfather” Laineux, was elected the city’s new mayor, he needs to put an end to the reign of the french mafia. To infiltrate the Laineux family and increase the sales of his own drugs, he orders his handsome underling, Steeb, to seduce the only heir of the Bobfather: Bobling Laineux, the doe-eyed billionare playboy. But just when Steeb discovers that there’s more to the young mobster than good looks and sassy one-liners, their blooming romance is put to the test by a cold-blooded murder. Will the only unbribable cop of Twunky Town’s police force solve this case before the city falls into war? Or will the rivalry of the two mobster clans turn everything into ashes?

A Story based on the RDJ spectrum

Part One | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Chapter Two - A Clash of Hunks

Unlike Steeb, I went home alone that night. Not even a whole bottle of fine scotch could wash away the bitterness of watching my fellow detectives goof around with Twunky Town’s mafia elite, joking like they were old friends from college. None of them even batting an eye on the vivid fluctuation of happy pills, most guests way too tipsy to even try and be discrete about it.

This remained the schedule for the next couple weeks. Robert Laineux baiting vice squad with fancy venues and parties, my colleagues shutting their eyes and ears for the sake of free booze and an occasional tête-á-tête, and me occupying the most secluded table for me and my bitter thoughts. Why I still showed up even if I had no intention to become one of the Bobfather’s footmen? Well, because the reward for openly declining the french mafia’s generosity is a tailored pair of concrete boots, and I’m more the slipper kind of guy.

One cold and damp morning in April I woke up even more hungover than usual, dragging myself to the PD to let this city drain some more of my mental stability. My colleagues were already at their desks, chatting gleefully. We would be off for another day of surveilling people that weren’t a real threat and doing anything but our actual work; maybe arrest some poor fella who tried to mess with the wrong mafioso, but that’d be it. Or so I thought.

When chief Prime entered with a stern face and two men in suits at his flank, I couldn’t help to feel somewhat hopeful.

 Steeb woke up to something soft tickling his cheek. He blinked sleepily and got confused for a second. Right, this wasn’t his tiny downtown apartment. He hadn’t slept in his own bed all week. In fact, he had spent all his nights in the largest bedroom of a neat little townhouse owned by the city’s most feared mobster, trying to seduce his son. On behest of his boss, the mobster’s fiercest rival. Well, way to start the day, Steeb.

Early April sun found its way through a small gap in a pair of heavy royal blue curtains and illuminated the pristine features of Bobling’s face resting on his chest. A sheepish smile snuck on Steeb’s lips as his fingers gently combed through his sweetheart’s tousled locks. The younger man sighed and cuddled deeper into Steeb’s side, his breath warm and soft on bare skin.

Steeb remembered their first night together, almost two months ago. From the ride home in Bobling’s crimson red Bentley to waking up tangled in silk sheets and feeling pleasantly sore, it was nothing but heated, sensual and passionate. And staged, so that Bobster Di Seta could outsmart the Bobfather.

But to be honest, Steeb thought while placing a soft kiss on his beau’s temple, he began to savor waking up with the young mobster next to him. On their first few rendezvous’ Bobling was ridiculously enchanting, flirting shamelessly with him, perfectly aware of his effect on the blonde. He only learned about his softer side on their sixth date, when Steeb took his sweetheart for a nightly stroll through the park and Bobling fawned over a kitten that crossed their way.

Watching the heir of the Laineux family kneeling on the pathway in slacks worth a small fortune, cooing and speaking softly with his new furry friend, it did something with Steeb. When they returned back to the townhouse that night, it was the first time that he forgot the purpose of his charade and just indulged in the touch of soft lips caressing his neck and the sensation of delicate fingers tracing his hip bone.

While Steeb was still fighting to admit how smitten he was already, Bobling woke up, gaze slowly focusing on the bare chest he was resting on. He stretched with a small yawn and placed a sloppy kiss on Steeb’s lips - or at least he tried.

“Mornin’”, he mumbled against the blonde’s cheek. He felt Steeb shift, harboring him in his big and strong arms. Definitely something Bobling could get used to.

“Morning, sleepyhead”, Steeb chuckled. He left a small trail of pecks on the mobster’s jawline and was just about to nuzzle his face into soft brown curls when a loud knock on the door made both of them jump. The person outside didn’t deem it necessary to wait for being asked in but just rushed inside with large, urgent steps.

“For God’s sake, Barney, didn’t your maman teach you any manners?”, Bobling yelped. Barney Bucket, head of his security guard, strode over to the windows as if he hadn’t heard his boss. He opened the curtains with a resolute tuck before he turned around and faced the two men, completely unimpressed by their bewildered state and lack of clothes.

“You have to get up, Sir. Your father needs you in his office as soon as possible. The chief of the TTPD called half an hour ago; I’m afraid it’s something serious.”

Bobling sighed and crawled out of the huge four poster, scurrying over to his walk-in closet. The moment he went past his guard, Barney turned and shot Steeb a disapproving look. The blonde already had a hard time untangling the sheets to cover at least some of his exposed skin, and the other man’s piercing glares didn’t make it any easier. He felt like an intruder. Well, technically, he was, or at least he was supposed to be one.

Bobling returned fully dressed and ruffled his hair a few times to get rid of his bed head. He rushed to the door, followed by Barney, but came to a halt abruptly to turn back to Steeb. 

“Love, I’m sorry, my father’s not the kind of person you keep waiting. Feel at home and ask Barney if you need something. He’s gonna get you some breakfast and will drive you back home. I’m afraid this is going to take some time”, the young mobster said with a resentful look. Steeb flashed him a smile and nodded.

Barney didn’t seem all too pleased with his new task, but remained silent until his boss left and hurried down the hallway. With the sound of Bobling’s steps fading, he turned back to Steeb, casually leaning on the door frame and piercing the blonde one with menacing stares.

Steeb tried to not take it personally. He got up, holding the sheets awkwardly draped around his hips with one hand, and picked up his clothes with the other. Barney seemed to have no intention to leave; he just stood there and watched Steeb’s every move. Only when he finally found the other sock and headed over to the roomy walk-in the guard switched positions, now leaning in the closets door frame, forcing it to remain open. Steeb sighed, dropped his clothes on one of the chairs and turned back to him, one brow raised.

“Care to wait outside while I change?”

“Why? Got something to hide, golden boy?”, Barney snarled. Something in his tone told Steeb that they were not talking about inches.

“Actually, yes. I don’t know what your problem is, but last time I checked this wasn’t a cabaret. So mind your own business, please.”

“Oh don’t worry, I do.” Barney snickered, but his brows remained furrowed. “It is my business to keep Mr. Laineux and his family safe, to protect them. Especially from scum like Bobster Di Seta and his beefy little henchman here.”

Steeb gulped. Who was this guy and how did he know about his connection with the Di Seta family? He tried to keep his pokerface but the brunette must’ve seen him flicker for a moment. Barney left his spot at the frame and closed the distance in two slow, calculating steps.

“D’you have any idea how easy it’d be for me to just kick in your pearly whites and make it look like an accident? You’re not the first piece of trash I dragged out of this room. You’re by far not the first labagiu trying to get to Mr. Laineux through his son’s pants, and I’ve had enough of it. Put your clothes on and get the fuck out of here.” With this he turned to go back to the bedroom, but Steeb wasn’t having any of it. 

“Listen here, Freundchen, I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with your boss’ love life, but miss me with the bullshit. We’re both two grown men and so is the guy who, by the way, gave you an order. I don’t care for the people that were here before me and especially not for you and your paranoid conspiracies. I’m here for Bobling because I want to, not because I was ordered, and if he’d ask me to, I’d leave and never come back. But until then, I’ll come if he wants my company. And if you’re still so bitter about my presence here, go and tell him your cute little story, let’s see how funny he finds it.”

Barney didn’t move an inch, didn’t even blink. Steeb had dropped the sheet when he strode over to Bobling’s guard, stopping only inches in front of him, using the height difference to tower over the brunette menacingly. His nudity did his intimidating appearance no harm - in fact his bare muscles flexing made his speech even more threatening. Barney’s face remained stern and unmoved, and without a word he turned around and left the bedroom, closing the door a tat too harsh to pass as relaxed.

Steeb took a deep breath. That was close, way too close. He wondered if Barney actually believed him, or if he would tell Bobling about his suspicions anyway. However, he had to get dressed and back to report to his boss, so he skipped the shower and just slipped back into his clothes, giving his reflection in the gold-framed mirror a quick scan before heading out for a cab. Orders or not, he wouldn’t let Barney drive him anywhere. The guy would probably crash into a bridge pier just to get rid of him.

While the cab driver navigated through the lazy morning traffic, Steebs thoughts kept wandering back to what just happened. He straight up lied about his true intentions to the french mafia’s head bodyguard. Didn’t feel like a lie, though. There was no point in denying that he felt oddly close to the heir of Laineux family, and that Bobling was quite fond of him, too. They went from passionate, light-minded nights to morning kisses and cuddles so fast, and just thinking of holding the handsome beau in his arms, reveling in the sweet scent of his skin, made it hard for Steeb to focus on what he was about to do: Meeting Mr. Di Seta for further instructions on how to fool the man he obviously had fallen for.

 Robert Laineux’ office was decadent, to put it nicely. The dark, noble bookshelves looked like someone spent all day to polish them; a neat little fire burnt in a fireplace the size of my car, covered in ornaments. His desk made a king-sized bed look like a cot, and I’m convinced you’d need two people to lift one of the leather-covered armchairs scattered all over the room.

Chief Prime and I followed Mr. Laineux’ butler to the head of the room, where he already sat with who must be his son, Bobling. The latter remained in his seat, eyeing us suspiciously while Chief Prime shook the Bobfather’s hand.

“Bobtimus. I did as you said and asked Bobling to come as fast as he could. Now if you’d please tell us why we’re all gathered here? On the phone you sounded as if someone died.”

“Well, that’s because someone did”, Chief Prime answered with a grim expression as soon as the butler had left the office. He took a seat and gestured me to do the same.

“Robert, your brother Boberto has been found dead this morning in the mayor’s office. The coroner assumes it was a heart attack, but given his young age and fit condition I have my fair share of doubts. I had a forensics team secure evidence in his office and ordered the department to treat every aspect of this with the utmost confidentiality before I called you. With your approval, I’d like to run an autopsy and have Detective Bob Downey here investigate the case.”

The Bobfather and his son sat there motionless, faces blank. No one spoke for a solid minute. Chief Prime shifted in his seat, probably thinking he went to far with his precautions. When the Bobfather finally moved he just tilted his head, eyes resting on me, piercing me with an intensity that it felt as if he looked right through me. Now it was my turn to shift nervously.

“Detective Downey, you said? Well, Bobtimus. My brother’s dead and you come rushing in here telling me you believe it’s a bloody murder and that you started collecting evidence before even telling me. And now you want me to sign off the case to a cop that doesn’t even work in homicide and, on top of that, still refuses to work with me?”

Well, that’s one way to say I didn’t let your drug money make me docile.

“Robert, that’s exactly why I picked him. Not only is he one of my finest detectives, he’s also the only one you could possibly trust to actually find out the truth. The rest of the bunch is more interested in their own benefits, and that was fine until now”, the Chief proclaimed, “but something’s fishy about Boberto’s death and I wouldn’t want anyone on that case who took bribe before.”

“Everybody’s got their price”, muttered the young Laineux and we all turned our head in surprise. He looked me straight in the eye and proceeded: “What’s your price, Detective Downey? What could be in for you to help your enemy?”

“I wouldn’t call you my enemy.” Oh yes, indeed I would you little brat. “But frankly said, we’re not on good terms either. I joined the police because I believe in justice and want to do what’s right. And if Mayor Laineux died by someone’s hand, then I’ll find out who did it.”

“Fine”, Robert said after the two of them eyed me up and down once more. “Go and see what you can find out. If someone killed my brother, I want his head. And Bobtimus”, he snarled, glaring at Chief Prime, “I want to be the first one to know when there’s even the slightest bit of new info on this case, you got me?”

“Of course, Sir”, the Chief hurried to answer. The Bobfather didn’t respond and just dismissed us with a small nod.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Chief Prime walk that fast.

 “Goddammit!”, Bobster yelled for the third time this day. Steeb had an odd déjà-vu, standing on the patio and watching the alpacas slowly moving away from his furious boss. Mr. Di Seta paced up and down the railing, brows furrowed and deep in thought. Only minutes before Steeb had arrived at the mobster’s manor, a little bird had brought the news of Mayor Laineux’ death. At first the blonde deemed those great news for the Di Seta family, but Bobster’s reaction taught him otherwise. Now he just waited nervously for the mafioso to calm down and give him further instructions.

“Okay boy, here’s what we do: You keep that little game of yours up.” After what seemed an eternity, Bobster finally stopped and talked to Steeb. “If we retreat now, it’ll look suspicious. But we can’t make any more moves either. Not until we have more detail about Boberto’s death. Just keep it calm, fly below the radar until things get sorted out a bit more.”

“Alright, boss. But-”, Steeb hesitated, “may I ask why you’re so upset? Shouldn’t it be great that the mayor’s office isn’t occupied by the french anymore?”

Bobster huffed. “Steeb, there’s so much more to a dead brother and mayor than to a son sleeping with the enemy. My goal was to either estrange Robert from his son by finding out about your little affair in the worst case, or to manipulate the Laineux through your influence on the little dipshit in the best. I never wanted war. I just wanted my fair share of clients and income. Boberto as mayor wasn’t an ideal situation for us, that’s true, but a murder investigation is way worse.”

 And murder it was. The coroner called me the next day to let me know how the autopsy went. Chief Prime was correct: Boberto could’ve lived up to a hundred years, his organs were in great shape. But he found some herbs in the mayor’s stomach and ran a few tests. Turns out someone added a rare pufferfish poison to his favourite tea, making it look like Boberto’s heart just failed. Without the leftovers to be tested, nobody would’ve ever found out.

So we knew it was definitely murder, and we had the murder weapon. Two days later I was going through files of possible culprits when the phone on my desk rang. The head of forensics called to inform me about the fingerprints on the tea box. They belonged to no other than Baebert Ullen, Robert and Boberto Laineux’ stepbrother.

 “Oh Steeb, I’m so glad you had time”, Bobling exclaimed as he opened the door to let his sweetheart in. He rose to his tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss on the blonde’s lips before they went inside. Steeb followed him through the hallway into a light-flooded living room.

One of the broad velvet sofas was occupied by two men, one of them reading to the toddler in his lap. The other one looked up and immediately hopped to his feet when he spotted Steeb and Bobling. Equally amused and bewildered Steeb recognized the man’s pants as Lederhosn, something he hadn’t seen since he had been deployed in Germany. It oddly fit the aesthetic of dark rimmed glasses and a plaid button down in powder pink. Taking a second glimpse at the three men and the toddler, Steeb also noticed that big, dark eyes and curls the colour of coffee seemed to run in the family.

“Bobling, honey. Is that your boyfriend? My, he’s handsome. Isn’t he handsome, Bobbo?” The man referred to as Bobbo looked up from the book and gave Steeb a curt nod. Steeb had no time to repay the gesture though. The man in Lederhosn, without a doubt Bobling’s uncle Baebert, grabbed his face and pressed a kiss on each of Steebs cheeks.

“Pleasure to meet you, son. Bobling told us so much abou-”

“Uncle, stop. And he’s not my- just... just stop”, Bobling interfered. Baebert smiled knowingly and gave Steeb a quick hug before he clapped his hands.

“Whatever you say, darling! Anyway. Bobbo, can you fetch Bobbae’s jacket? We should leave those two lovebirds to themselves. And Robert said the attorney would be at his place around five, so we should get going anyway. But it was so nice to finally meet you, Steeb dear.”

Steeb got pulled in for another hug and round of kisses and before he could even think of an appropriate response, the three of them were already at the door. Bobling let them out before he sank down on the couch next to Steeb with a small sigh.

“Sorry”, he mumbled against Steeb’s shoulder, “uncle Baebert is a bit.. special. Loves to kiss each and everyone. Quite a hugger. Bit eccentric from time to time.”

“He seemed lovely”, Steeb chuckled as he pulled the brunette into his arms and lay down with him, his thumbs rubbing small circles into Bobling’s skin. The younger man hummed in approval.

“Thank you for coming over. The last few days were nothing but crazy, I didn’t even have the time to give you a call.” The mobster wrapped his arms around Steeb’s waist and nuzzled into the crook of his neck before he spoke again. “First they tell me that my uncle died, then they find out he was murdered, now they’re trying to arrest my other uncle for said murder. You just met Baebert. Does he seem like a murderer to you? Something’s off with this story. Father always had been on great terms with both of them. They think uncle murdered Boberto because he was only their stepbrother and therefore no heir to the Laineux family, but father said none of them was ever bitter about that. And Bobbo is a famous architect, he practically designed half of Oslo. There’s no need to go after Boberto’s money. D’you think uncle Baebert would kill someone? He’s got a kid and a husband. I think he has better things to do than murdering his own, let alone a mobster’s brother”, Bobling mumbled into the hem of Steeb’s shirt before letting out a small sigh. “I’m sorry, love. You sure got better things to do than to listen to me ramble.”

“No problem. Isn’t that what boyfriends are for?”, Steeb asked with a saucy grin. Bobling’s cheeks went as pink as his uncle’s shirt and he tried to hide at Steeb’s shoulder, but the blonde cupped his face with both hands and gently forced his sweetheart to look at him.

Bobling held his gaze for a few moments before his eyes fluttered shut. Slowly, almost shy, he leaned into Steeb’s touch, pressing a little kiss on the taller man’s wrist. Steeb’s thumb ghosted over his cheekbone, down his jaw and traced the outlines of his bottom lip. And when Bobling opened his eyes again, there was nothing left of the frivolous, flirty beau, just a tired and sad boy asking for comfort.

“Care to stay with me tonight?”

And when Steeb bent down to place a kiss on the spot his thumb just marked, there was nothing lustful, nothing passionate to it. No faked feelings, no ulterior motifs, just a lovestruck idiot longing for his dear one’s touch.

“I’ll stay as long as you want.”

 Will Baebert be arrested for murder, or his fashion sense? Did the author discover that there is a Bavarian Wikipedia while looking up the correct spelling of Lederhosn? Will Steeb and Bobling establish a healthy relationship or will their romance turn to dust? Will the author ever not get carried away by fluffy Dorito boy pining for his beau? Will the author ever get tired of using the word beau? Did the author accidentally create a new Transformers AU while writing? And why do Americans refuse to use the accents on french terms? Find out in the next chapter!

A/N: (labagiu is Romanian for wanker according to Google, Freundchen is basically friend in German, but is mostly used to address someone in an angry, disrespectful way, like you sometimes do with buddy or pal. I figured that both Steeb and Barney went to war and that they learned some phrases there that they now used to look cool and eloquent to the other. They both failed, obviously)

[heyauntieeee]

First Impressions (1)

T’Challa X Black!Reader

Warning: Language: I said nigga way too much yo

Summary: After meeting Reader in a restaurant in the strangest way, T’Challa can’t help but be fascinated by her.

Words: 2,701

“First impressions last the longest.”

“So, what are you gonna do?” Kadijah’s question rang through your ears as you sat and ate your food. You were at dinner with your cousin and a couple of your friends in a desperate need top get out of the house. The restaurant wasn’t as crowed as it usually would be on a Thursday night. The atmosphere was pleasant, filled with the murmur of conversation and utensils clinking against the plates. No different than what was going on at your table. You shake your head and sigh. This wasn’t necessarily the desired topic of discussion for you tonight. You wanted to forget about your troubles at home, even if it were for just one night.

“I don’t know Dee,” You say putting my fork down. I sit back in my seat and sigh again. “I don’t know what I can do about the situation. I just want what’s best for Olivia. Will needs to be present in her life. That’s all I want.”

She smacks her teeth. “Ok but he barely is. He’s still fucked up from when Ciara left, he can’t hold on to that shit forever. It’s almost as if he want’s nothing to do with that child cause she not here.”

At this point you were starting to get a headache. “Can we talk about something else please? That’s the reason we came out right, to get away from all the bullshit?”

She takes a long look at me with her deep brown eyes letting you know that she was adamant about having this conversation, but she sighs, signaling that she’s giving in.

“Yeah I guess.”

You let out a breath. “Thank you.”

“Well now that we done talking bout depressing shit, can we talk about how fine them two niggas at the other table are?” your friend Gina pipes up flipping her braids over her shoulder and resting her chin on her hands. Her eyes peering over at something behind us. “Dude with the dreads got me feeling a way, I need him to rearrange my guts yesterday!”

You look at her unimpressed. “Bitch you always talkin about getting ya back blown out. Weren’t you just complaining that you couldn’t walk the other day when you hooked up with Daquan? Walked into work all bow-legged and shit. I thought you need a handicap decal.” You feign concern. “Ain’t you tired sis?”

She rolls her eyes. “Tuh! When you can’t walk that just mean he hitting it right you can call me Kevin Gates cause ion get tired!”

You stare at her “Wow.”

Kadijah shook her head. “You are triflin as hell.”

“Indeed, she is. What you need to do is find you a husband and not just some guy to fuck. I’m telling you, you’d be much more satisfied.” Your other friend Danita says looking at Gina with disgust. She just got married last year and now she thinks she’s above everyone else. She’s like that light-skinned girl from Insecure who thinks she has the perfect man and the perfect marriage, but the more layers you peel back, the more dirt you find. Not to say that you weren’t happy for her, cause you were, but you just wish she would shut the fuck up sometimes and let ya’ll single bitches live, shit.

Gina throws Danita a look. “Girl shut yo boring married ass up and besides fuck me, look at the them.”

You and Kadijah both roll your eyes and finally turn around to see 5 people sitting at the table behind us two men and three women. Two of the three women had shaved heads and were dressed in what looked like armor the red uniforms highlighted their dark skin as their alert eyes scanned the room wearing bound and determined looks on their faces letting folks know that they weren’t anyone to fuck with and they were prepared for anything to pop off. Sitting next to them was the first man, and you had to admit he was fine as hell like Gina said. His short dreads hung on the left side of his face, brown eyes, nice full lips, he looked kind of irritated though, like either he didn’t wanna be there or he wasn’t feeling the conversation that was taking place at their table. But damn even with that scowl on his face he still looked good. He was looking kinda swole too, like he was finna bust out that jacket he had on. The other girl looked to be the youngest out of all of them. Her braided hair was done up in a high bun and was wearing a black and white dress. She was talking to the man sitting next to, who, if you were being honest, the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life. From his brow skin to the curls in his hair, large dark eyes that you could get lost in for hours, that smile and infectious laughter. Jesus Christ, he could light up a room with that smile and his full lips, not as big as the other one’s but still you could think of quiet a few things he could do with tho-

You shake your head and turn around you didn’t need those thoughts in your head with all these people around.

“He aight,” you say dismissively trying to shake off those feeling. But sis you were shook.

“Aight?” Gina questioned. “Bitch is you blind?! You see two fine black men sitting 10 feet away and you just say they aight?”

“Yeah Y/N you trippin,” Kadijah.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Danita spoke up.

You roll your eyes. “I was talking about the nigga with the dreads but go off I guess.”

“When you’re loud and wrong but ok so then what you think about the other one?” Gina asks. Like why she gotta know your opinion about shit? Nosey ass. You look away not wanting to look her in the eyes cause you knew she’s know what I thought right away. A big grin makes its way on Gina and Kadijah’s faces. Ain’t this bout a bitch.

“He’s cute,” you mumble not wanting either of them to hear you.

“I’m sorry what was that,” Dee says putting her hand up to her ear. “I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“Yeah hoe speak up,” Gina says.

“I would like to hear what you have to say as well,” says Danita. This bitch was starting to get on your nerves.

You huff. “I said he’s cute damn! Finest man I ever saw in my life. Y’all satisfied?” You fold your arms and pout. Bitches always putting you on the spot.

“Mhm I knew it! She want that di-”

“Dammit Gina!”

“You should go over there and say something,” Danita suggests. Dee and Gina nod their heads in agreement.

“Yeah and I should say ‘fuck you I ain’t doing that.’ Can we just enjoy our meal please?”

They throw their hands up and go back to eating their food. You take a sigh in relief and do the same.

Meanwhile, T’Challa, Erik, Shuri, Okoye and Ayo were at their table eating when Erik chuckles. It seems that your conversation wasn’t as quiet as you thought it was.

“What is it cousin?” Shuri asks wanting to know what was so funny.

“You know they over there talking about us, right? Well not all of us, just me T’Challa.”

“Who?” she’s really curious now.

“Them female sitting across from us. Apparently, we some ‘fine ass niggas T.’” He says full on laughing now. Shuri rolls her eyes and so does T’Challa.

“Don’t be ridiculous Erik,” he says cutting his food.

“Ain’t nothing ridiculous about it. You heard everything they said just like I did so don’t even try to deny it. That one,” he begins, pointing toward your back. “Thinks you’re the finest nigga she ever seen. I mean ion know what the fuck she talking bout but-”

“N’Jadaka!”

“And her sexy ass,” he continues pointing toward Gina. “Wants me to turn them guts inside out. And far be it from me to block her blessing.”

“Isilwanyana esilwe ngesondo” Okoye mutters as she sips her tea and Ayo chuckles. She’d much rather hear anything else in the world than hear about Erik’s sexual exploits.

Before Erik can form a rebuttal, a loud voice yells from the front of the restaurant.

“AYO E!” a tall dark-skinned man shouts and starts making his way over to their table.

“Aww shit man here this nigga go.” Erik says under his breath.

“Who is that man?” T’Challa asks.

“Man that nigga Tyrone. I used to run the street with him a until I left for MIT. I fucked his ass up cause he stole from me. I shoulda murked his shit but I let him go, made an example out his ass, but he wouldn’t let that shit go and started talking shit round the block. Said when he saw me again it was a wrap. Bitchass.”

“Bast sake,” T’Challa says pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tyrone gets to the table, folds his arms and smirks. “Wassup nigga you thought I wasn’t gon see yo ass again? I said on sight nigga and I meant that shit.”

Erik stays seated and sucks his teeth. “I see you ain’t learn the last time. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit you ain’t bout it!”

T’Challa tries to intervene. “Excuse me sir, I understand that you have some issues with my cousin here, but I can assure you that we can settle this, how you say “beef” another way.”

Tyrone looks at him like “Man sit yo dumbass down and shut up.” T’Challa clutches his invisible pearls.

“This ain’t got shit to do with you. And as for you nigga, I want my round let’s take this shit outside.”

Erik takes a deep breath as he tries his best to keep his cool. Every bone is his body is telling him to get up and snap this nigga’s neck, but he let the man talk his shit cause he’s just been redeemed and had been trying to check his temper.

“Aye man I’m telling you now back the fuck up, you don’t want no smoke nigga”

Okoye and Ayo stand and give Tyrone a menacing look. Okoye speaks. “I suggest you leave now before anyone gets hurt. Rest assured, it won’t be them, it will be you.

“Man who the fu-”

T’Challa and Erik stop them, they didn’t want to cause even more of a scene. Other patrons were starting to look toward their table because Tyrone was so loud.

“It is ok, General no need to cause a scene.” T’Challa says. “We’ll get him out of here soon enough. Have a seat.”

“Yeah, y’all ain’t even gotta do allat I got it handled.” Erik conceded. “Imma tell you one more time keep it up and Imma rock yo shit.”

Okoye takes looks at T’Challa then looks at Tyrone and takes her seat. Ayo does the same.

Tyrone chuckles. “Bet you broads don’t think you’re so tough huh?”

Shuri is finding this entertaining as hell. “Bast, dinner and a show this is going to be fun!”

T’Challa shakes his head, trying to figure out a way to deescalate the situation. ‘I can’t have one moment of peace’ he thinks as he sits back with a sigh.

You can hear the commotion coming from the other table. You all were trying to figure out what was going on.

“Man why niggas gotta come up in a spot all loud and acting a fool?” Gina says as she strains her neck to see what was transpiring. “What the hell is going on?”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t know but he starting to get on my fucking nerves.” You say. All you wanted to so was have a nice dinner with your friends and this nigga was just killing the vibe. “And there ain’t nobody from management coming to throw his Bruhman looking ass out here yet.”

Then you hear again from across the room. “Nigga I’m not finna say it again we going outside or what?”

“That’s it!” You say turning around in your seat despite your friends’ protest.

“Y/N, don’t!” Kadijah hissed as she grabs at your arm to turn you around. You snatch your arm away.

“That nigga probably crazy as hell, you don’t know what type time he on.” Gina says.

“Gina, I don’t care that nigga is outta control messing with them for no fucking reason. Ain’t nobody doing shit so Imma handle it.”

You turn around once again and glare at the offender.

“Do you know exactly how loud and annoying you are? We can hear you all the way over here.”

They all freeze and look at you. You start to lean over your chair still looking right at Tyrone.

Tyrone looks at you and scowls. “Who the fuck you talking to?”

“I’m talking to you. What y’all exes or something you sound like a bitter baby mom.”

“Aye what the fuck is your problem yo? Turn ya ass around and eat ya food.” You were really starting to get heated. This nigga was starting to get real disrespectful and it was only so much you could take before busted his shit wide open.

“You my goddamn problem! You coming up in this bitch like you big bad and bold, tryna start shit with this dude and he ain’t even tryna fuck with you like that yet you keep running yo mouth. If was really bout shit you woulda been swung on his ass but you ain’t did shit yet. Talking all that shit and can’t even bust a grape get the fuck outta here.”

Shuri’s confused. “When did we start talking about grapes.”

T’Challa just stares at her both surprised and amused that a complete stranger would go out of her way to defend his cousin. He wasn’t sure if it was because she cared or because her dinner was being ruined by Tyrone. Either way, he was interested to see how this would play out. Even though he knew this couldn’t continue for too long as he didn’t want he, his family, or the other party to be kicked out by management.

“What would you like us to do, my King?” Okoye asks. She was growing annoyed with the commotion, but like T’Challa, she did find this stranger entertaining as well.

“Stand down for now. I don’t see this going further than exchange of words across the room. I’ll take care of it if necessary.”

Okoye’s purses her lips. “As you wish.”

Ayo just sits, watching the fuckery unfold and she is here for it.

Kadijah is desperately trying to get you to turn around and just shut the fuck up but you just can’t let it go. “Y/N turn the hell around and mind yo business!”

Tyrone smirks and still wants to talk shit. “Sweetheart I suggest you listen to ya friend cause I’m not gon say that shit a third time turn the fuck around”

“I ain’t turning shit around and I suggest you shut the hell up and go home. Cause you ain’t nothing but a fucking bully and that shit is whack as fuck!”

Erik decides to intervene before shit really gets outta hand. He turns to you. “You ain’t gotta fight my battles for me babygirl, his punk ass ain’t gon do shit, believe that.” He gives Tyrone a look so fierce that if looks could kill he’d be dead and gone.

Tyrone sucks his teeth. “Man, ion even know why we wasting time on this raggedy bitch, let’s handle this shit right now.”

Shuri shrunk back in her seat, T’Challa’s mouth hung open like a fish, Okoye and Ayo looked at each other in shock as well, Erik puts his head in his hands and mutters “Shit”. You looked back at your friends to make sure this bubblegum-built bitch was talking to you. Time literally froze. Before T’Challa could even think about standing up and doing something you speak in a low voice.

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

Y’all... I can’t even tell you happy I am to have this out. This has been in my head for months and took me over a month to write it. Y’all would’ve got it last week but my computer is a whore and she don’t like me right now but it’s cool tho. 

Anyway let me know what you think. I tried to edit and proofread as best I could so I’m sorry for any errors. And if you want to be tagged let me know!

Tags:  @youreadthatright @muse-of-mbaku @sunigyrl @brianabreeze @misspooh @killmongersaidheyauntie @kenqueenken @princesskillmonger @ororowrites @texasbama @wawakanda-btch @purplebish @royallyprincesslilly @halfrican-heat @curls-and-crosses @princessstevens @lunaerly @tchallamakesmeh0lla @kumkaniudaku @sarahboseman @sisterwifeudaku @dramaqueenamby @laketaj24 @hearteyes-for-killmonger @pocmarvelworks @bartierbakarimobisson @adahjones @uhlxis @panthergoddessbast @babygirlofwakanda @killmongerdispussy @erikismybitch @bakarijordan @thehonorablekingerik @teheeboo @eriknutinthispoosy @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-4evr @90sinspiredgirl

[theasstour]

(gif credit: harryisart)

Sweet Creature. 02.

7 January 2016: Power goes out.

Pairing: Y/N and Harry (as friends still, loads of flirting tho ;) )

Word count: 4.2k

NB: explicit language, not vegetarian/vegan foods, insane adorableness

Typical. That was the word. It was so fucking typical that your power went out on the coldest day of winter so far this year. It was so fucking typical that it was this Thursday that Nick was supposed to spend with his family in Surrey so you had nowhere to go and would probably freeze to death in your flat. The only way people would know you were gone was by the smell of your corpse after some days of rotting on your sofa, a bag of crisps in your hands probably.

You made your way to the nearest Tesco, knowing that to survive through the night you would need loads of chocolate and probably some strawberries as well. No power meant no proper dinner and you didn’t earn enough yet to live comfortably with take away while living in central North London. You didn’t order take away unless you had been very good at saving up that month, and it was only the beginning of January. You got your strawberries first before you made your way straight to the chocolate, rummaging through the self to see if you found something that screamed out to you. After picking out a few favourites, you thought to yourself that you wanted some other berries or grapes as well. Making your way back to the front of the shop, you walked by an aisle where you thought you saw something familiar, but quickly brushed it off. You looked too much of a mess to meet anyone you knew and feel comfortable enough to stop and talk.

Harry didn’t notice at first, but as he saw the back of your head he blinked a little to himself. It had been a week, and he was starting to hallucinate now? He wanted to see you that bad? Telling himself he was only going crazy and it was those 13 hours of sleep he got last night, he continued on to look through the bread on the shelf before him. It had only been a near-kiss on that New Years party that Nick had thrown, but Harry had found himself really wanting to meet you again. Nick knew exactly the type for Harry, that was why he let Nick and Alexa set him up with loads of people, but there was something different about you. Nick knew it, that was why he had been so eager to introduce you two Harry knew.

You got some healthy snacks and then started walking back toward the cashier, but then you stopped for a second. Looking to your right, you saw a tall, long-haired man with the same coat on that he had worn on New Years Eve. Harry looked right back at you, a furrow to his brow and his sunglasses tangled on top of his head as he took you in. You suddenly felt very exposed. Old joggers on, a fleece jacket, your Nikes on and your hair up away from your face; an absolutely magnificent sight, you thought to yourself.

A warm smile spread over his face, revealing his adorable dimples. “[Y/N].”

You were suddenly ultra-aware of the two bags of crisps you were holding, three bars of chocolate, the pack with strawberries and the bag of cashew nuts. “Hi, Harry.” You said just as the cashew nuts fell to the floor.

“Oh,” Harry stepped forward just as you felt your whole face heat up like you had been standing in front of the sun for 8 hours straight. “Let me help you with that.” Harry took the cashews in his shopping cart and then stared at the rest of your groceries. “Having a party?”

“If by party you mean being all by myself while eating all of this and trying not to freeze to death, then yes, I am having one hell of a party.”

Harry couldn’t help but let a small chuckle go and you felt your heart do something funny at the sound of it. He gestured to the rest of the stuff in your hands before he frowned and looked back into your eyes. You bit your lip at the shiver that went down your spine.

“’Trying not to freeze to death’?” Harry took some of his hair behind his ear. “Your power went out?”

You nodded. “Big parts of North London.”

“I heard about that.” Harry’s fingers were fiddling with his chin as he felt an overwhelming feeling of pity for you and how you obviously seemed to have hit a wall. “So… it’s a crisps-chocolate- strawberries- cashew nuts kind of night then?”

“Obviously.”

Harry smiled a wry smile at how miserable you seemed and looked, and his smile made you smile a little back. You couldn’t even control it.

“How about you come eat dinner at my place? My power is still there and that way you wouldn’t have to freeze to death.” Right after he had suggested that, though, he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long while: nervousness. He had become accustomed to going on stage and performing or going to talk show interviews and so on, but there was something so… real about this. He felt like he had just laid himself completely bare and anxiety started crawling its way forward, making him ramble. “I mean, you don’t have to. If you’d rather stay at your place and not at mine, I wouldn’t mind. But of-of course I want you to eat me- I mean, eat with me!” He stopped for a second and looked at the floor and the space between you two as both giggled a little. “All I’m saying,” Harry started again, looking up and into your eyes in a way that made both of you catch your breaths. “Is that I very much want you to come eat dinner with me, and if you’d rather-“

“-If I’d rather stay at home freezing you’d totally understand?” You challenged him. He smiled in return. “I very much want to eat dinner with you, Harry.” Somewhere inside of Harry, something started to bloom. “But I got to put all of this stuff back then.”

“Oh, we’re keeping the crisps.” Harry said as he plucked them out of your arms.

“Oh?” You watched him put them in his carry-on.

“If you’re coming to mine to eat,” Harry started, looking at you with that wry smile again. “Then I don’t really want us to stop eating.” That way you’ll stay around longer. But Harry didn’t say that.

You looked away as you felt yourself starting to blush, hurrying away to put all of your rubbish food back in its place.

¤ ¤ ¤

It was lightly snowing outside, the shy above you a dull grey and the chilly winter winds of Britain hit you like a whip across the face. You suddenly remembered why you preferred staying inside. Harry’s temporary flat wasn’t far from the Tesco, meaning that the two of you didn’t live too far away from one another. You thought about this for a moment as Harry held the door of his flat building open for you. You thanked him as you walked inside and he walked in front of you up all those stairs that led to the top floor. Unlocking his flat, he opened the door for you once again and you were greeted with the warmth of not only the inside of a small and luxurious flat, but also by the warmth of the absolute adorableness of it. A door stood to both the left and the right as you entered, so you automatically assumed that one led to the bathroom and the other to the bedroom. You were scared that asking which was the bedroom would lead to an awkward conversation and silence that you were not about.

The walls were a soft beige colour and the floors of royal mahogany. Huge French windows hung prettily over the opposite wall that stretched out the length of the flat. After you took your shoes of, you followed Harry into his living area. The black kitchen was to the right with white-tiled floor and dark grey counters, the chairs by the kitchen island were of dark leather and you knew that they were probably more comfortable than your sofa at home. The living room was brown and beige with a cute fireplace, a good-sized sofa, a coffee-table, carpet, and a flat screen. It didn’t seemed that he had lived here long enough to decorate the walls or anything major to make it more personal.

“How long have you lived here?” You asked him, looking around yourself at his cute flat. You remembered Nick saying something about Harry only living here temporarily, but you don’t remember more than that.

“About a month.” Harry answered, putting the shopping bags on the kitchen island. “I have a house in L.A., but I’m staying here for a bit before I’m going to start filming for the movie I’m cast in. Besides, most of my family and friends are here in London.”

You walked over to help him unload. “So this is a temporary place then?”

“Yea.” Harry answered, opening the fridge to put most of the stuff in there. “Will probably sell it once I’m done filming.”

You nodded, putting some vegetables in the fridge. “Spending most of your break in the US then?”

“Most likely, yea.” Harry looked over his shoulder at you as you put his butter on a shelf. Without meaning to, he started thinking about how he didn’t feel like spending most of the hiatus in L.A. when he could be spending it here in London; with you. Shaking his head at himself and dragging a hand through his long locks to keep them in place, Harry walked over to put the bread on the counter beside his bowl of oranges. He barely knew you, he needed to calm down.

“What does L.A. have that London doesn’t?” You grinned at him, clearly challenging him into something that he didn’t really have an answer for.

Letting a chuckle go as he leaned against the counter, Harry stared at the kitchen island for a bit. “My house.”

“But London’s got the great weather, the insanely nice taxi-drivers, and the most overrated shopping street in the world!” Your voice dripped sarcasm and Harry couldn’t help but to laugh at you. “And, let’s not forget, every house has a rat problem. Who would not want to live here?”

Harry laughed and let his hand trace his jawline as he watched you, appreciating the smile on your face more than he ever thought he’d do. Something inside his tummy came to life and he felt it out to the tips of his fingers. All because of that smile you had spread across your face.

“Want to start making food?” Harry asked and you nodded.

“What are we making?” You take the apron Harry hands you, watching as he puts his own on over his all-black outfit. There wasn’t an explanation for it, but you found Harry in an apron so insanely hot that you wanted to start fanning yourself right then and there. With his hands on his hips, Harry read through the cooking-book that he had wrapped out on the kitchen counter.

“Salt and pepper chicken with spring quinoa pilaf.”

You felt yourself grow into a question mark. “What was that now?”

Harry’s mouth tipped up a little at the corners and he looked up at you through his lashes. “Do you make a lot of food?”

“I do.” You nod your head once. “I make margarita pizza, cheese and ham pizza, veggie pizza-“ You stopped yourself as Harry let out such an adorable giggle that you could feel your insides starting to melt.

“Well, today I’m going to teach you how you make the best quinoa pilaf.” Harry clapped his hands together, walking over to his cupboard to get all the equipment out. You could see the muscles in his back work through his tee shirt and you knew you needed to do something or else you wouldn’t be able to think straight by the end of the night.

“Want any help?”

“If you wouldn’t mind getting the ingredients, love. They’re all listed in the book.” Harry could feel himself blush so madly that he didn’t dare turn around to face you just yet. He hadn’t meant to call you ‘love’, it had just slipped out, like it had been the most natural thing in the world. Biting his lip, he willed the redness to evaporate before he watched you while you got the ingredients out of the fridge.

Putting the oven to 230 degrees, you two started following the instructions in the cook-book.

“Okay,” Harry began. “Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Cook skin-side down, in batches, until the skin is golden and crispy, 5 to 7 minutes.”

“I think you should do that.”

“Why?”

“Because I will most likely fuck it up.”

“Then you’re doing it.”

You frowned, looking up at him like he’d just told you Earth was flat. “Pardon?”

“I’m teaching you how to make this, you’ll make it.”

You didn’t get another word out before Harry put the oil in the skillet and then the chicken filets as well. Anxiety started to bubble up because you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of Harry, but here you were, about to make him repellent of you. He was going to think you were incompetent.

“Do you know how to season chicken filets?”

“N-No.”

Harry looked at you as you stood to his right. “That’s fine, I’ll tell you what to do.” Placing a gentle hand on your waist, Harry pushed you to stand in front of the stove. Electrifying sparks went through the both of you, neither being able to explain what it was or how this was occurring. You didn’t want him to move his hand away, but Harry’s inner gentleman told him to do so. He didn’t want to me too forward. Hell, you two hadn’t even been out on a first date yet. “Okay,” Harry cleared his throat, looking at the chicken filets in the pan. “What you want to do is just put some salt and pepper on them. Not too much, but enough so that we can taste the difference, yea? Chicken without anything to it tends to taste like… well, nothing.”

You nod along to his words, taking the pepper in your hands before you took a breath and poured some on one of the two filets.

“Okay.” Harry nodded. “A little less pepper next time unless you want us to sneeze all night.”

“Loads of pepper, then.” You joke, taking the knife Harry gave you to scrape some of the heaps of pepper off.

“I mean,” Harry shrugged. “If that’s what does it for you, then sure. Pour it all on.”

You laughed, and Harry let out a little chuckle as well while watching you. Something about your laugh made flowers grow within him. Scraping it off till Harry told you it was fine, you put the same amount of pepper on the second filet. With satisfaction in his eyes, Harry watched as you put the same mount of salt on and then turned the filets over.

“Good work.”

“Call me chef from now on.” You smile at him, watching as Harry lets out single, deep chuckle.

“Alright, but can you roast the chicken in the oven until the internal temperature of the chicken reaches 75 degrees?” Harry crossed his arms at you, raising his eyebrows to try you out.

You frown a little. “How do you know the internal temperature? Witchcraft?”

Harry smiled his diamond-worthy smile. “By how long it’s been in the oven.”

“And how long is it supposed to be in the oven for?”

Harry licked his lips while taking his elastic band off his wrist, putting his long hair up in a bun as he watched you watch him. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to braid his wonderous hair or what it would feel like to tug it- Stop, you told yourself, looking away from him and down at the filets in the skillet. Without letting Harry do it, you walked over to the cook-book and read it yourself.

“18 to 22 minutes.”

“Correct.” Harry took the skillet off the stove and put it in the oven, setting the timer before he walked over to deal with the rest of the ingredients. “Now we just have to deal with this.”

Working together, the two of you stood there in silence as you cut the rest of the ingredients up. Harry put on some soft music at some point and you found yourself, more than once, watching him as some melodic Elvis tune filled the small space of his London flat. He, too, checked you out when you weren’t watching. Though he would never admit to having done it, he let his eyes roam your body from your hair to your feet as you stood with your back to him, letting it all sink in before you turned back around. He had already come to love the shape of your bum, a part of yourself that you had always been slightly insecure about. Or how you’d sigh to yourself when you thought you did a shitty job, he found that endearing.

You had already started to smile at the sight of Harry when he’d press his lips together in concentration, or when he’d blow some of his hair that had gone loose form his bun out of his face. How could someone be so incredibly cute one second and so immensely sexy the next? Some questions could never be answered.

Your dinner was done before you knew it and then the two of you were sitting by the kitchen island. Harry had given you a wineglass each, but he filled it with water, knowing that you were going to work at 7am the next morning.

“It does smell delicious.” You admitted, looking down at your plate as Harry sat down beside you.

“And to think you weren’t a chef before this day. One would’ve never thought.” Harry gave you a little smile and you couldn’t help but bite your lip as a beam so huge was about to erupt on your lips. “Let’s taste it, yea?”

Tasting it, you look at Harry with your eyebrows raised in astonishment. “Wow. This is really-“

But you didn’t get another word out as you were both swallowed in darkness. Silence settled over the two of you as you realised what had happened; Harry’s power had gone, too. With a swear on his lips, Harry got up and walked to his French windows, looking out on the neighbourhood and the flats that matched his own. Some lights from central London shone in the distance, but the whole of North London was in complete black-out. Turning to you, you only saw the outlined profile of your friend as he stood looking back at you.

“Good thing I like candles, ey?”

With the help of the flashlight from your phones, the two of you walked into Harry’s room to get them from the drawer he used to stock them in. Without really meaning to, you took a glance around the room. Noticing how comfortable the huge double-bed looked and how he had a picture of him and his family on the nightstand, it was all so… Harry. The windows were covered with a sheer fabric that you had no doubt would let the sun shine in to wake him in the mornings. Not paying attention to Harry or what was going on, you walked into him as he looked through his drawer of candles. Jumping a bit, you were going to put your hand in front of your mouth so not to make any awkward noises, when instead, you gave Harry a nice pat on the ass. It was silent before Harry looked at you over his shoulder. This is it, you thought, I am going to die from this. This is my death. The light from his phone provided you of just enough so you could make out the giant grin on his face.

“Jesus [Y/N],” Harry said, clearly about to tell a joke. “If you want to grope me, you don’t have to wait for the power in all of London to go out to do it. I’ll happily let you touch my ass whenever you want.-“

“-Harry!” You cannot fight the laughter bubbling up and Harry can’t either. “I’m sorry for… groping you. I just got scared when I hit something walking in the dark.”

“No worries, princess.” Harry said and he was so glad the lights were out. How had he called you ‘love’ and ‘princess’ in one evening? This must be a record for how much he had embarrassed himself in less than 2 hours. He didn’t usually feel so nervous around anyone, but he had this overwhelming instinct to impress you for a reason. “I, eh… here are some candles.” Harry gave you a couple, unaware of how fast your heart was beating after he called you that. Princess. What was he doing to you?

You two walked back to his living room and lit all the candles. You didn’t want to think about how fucking romantic this was. The two of you eating a dinner you had made together and now eating in candlelight? This hadn’t even been intentional. You had come to Harry’s flat because you had lost your power, and now you sat here in his flat without any power. The food had cooled down a bit while the two of you had been lighting the candles, but you didn’t really care because everything that was going through your mind sounded a lot like “No worries, princess”. Harry sat down next to you and you two started eating your dinner. It was absolutely amazing and you closed your eyes as you ate and swallowed the first bite. Fives bites later, and Harry turned to you.

“So… where did you grow up?” He asked, putting a fork filled with chicken and quinoa.

“[your hometown].” You took a bite as well.

“Tell me what it was like growing up there.”

And so you talk. The two of you talk for hours and hours. You fill him in on everything in your life and he talks about his. You find mutual interests and that you prefer different TV shows to one another. It had been such a long time since you had gone on a date that you had completely forgotten how much fun it was like to get to know a new person that you were truly interested in. Not that this was a date, but oh, how you wished it was. Harry didn’t tell you like you didn’t tell him, but he too wanted this to be a date. He had never really been keen to label anything, really, but he wanted to label this. He wanted to know where this was heading or if it was heading anywhere at all. The two of you laughed at the same things and were passionate about the same subjects. Neither had thought that you would ever find someone so fully yourself but as another person. But here you were. And as you looked at the clock on your phone to have it show 00:34, you sighed and looked back at Harry.

“I have to leave.”

Harry sighed. “Really?”

“Yea, I have work in the morning.”

Harry nodded and watched as you got up and took your plate. “No,” Gently, he took the plate from your hands. “I’ll wash it up.”

“I can do it, really-“

“-You have work in the morning.” Harry teased and you could feel yourself smiling as he turned his back on you, walking over to put the plates in the sink. He walked you out and leaned against the wall as you took your fleece jacket back on. “When will I see you again?” Harry asked, and you had a little flashback to when he asked you that exact same question on New Years Eve.

“I guess that depends on when you ask me out.”

The wry smile showed then and Harry looked down at the floor before taking you in again. “So you’ll go out with me?”

“Dinner then?”

Harry cocked his head a little to the side. “Okay, no dinner. We’ll do something else.”

“Dinner would be fine, really.” You reassure him.

“I’ll surprise you.” He smiled, and with that, you smiled back and left. You had never smiled all the way home before, but that night you did.

[nottellingu]

A/N: A teacher!lily / singledad!james au because my school reopened. Well it’s three weeks past so . . .

Read it on ff.net

“Just one more.”

“No Dad, we’ll be late,” Five year old Harry Potter whined. But nonetheless he posed for another photo.

James Potter clicked away on his phone. With his toothy grin and his too-big-Bob-the-Builder-backpack, Harry was the most adorable kid to ever walk the earth.

“Da-ad,” Harry whined again.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” James slipped his phone into his pocket and took his son’s hand. Together they began walking to the red school building.”

When they finally found the right classroom, there was a young teacher in a pretty floral dress standing outside the classroom.

“Hello. I’m your new teacher, Ms. Evans.”

Harry half hid himself behind James’ leg. “I’m Harry Potter,” he said shyly.

Ms. Evans knelt down. “Hi Harry, do you like fingerpainting?”

“I haven’t tried it.”

“Would you like to?”

Harry nodded and came out from behind James’ legs.

“Good. I like people who try new things. I think we’ll be great friends. Do you know why?” Ms. Evans leaned in closer to Harry and whispered so softly James had to strain his ears to hear. “We both have green eyes.”

And sure enough, they both did have the same green eyes. It was uncanny, really. James didn’t know where Harry got his eyes from. He had only met Harry’s mother twice in his life – once for a quick screw in the club bathroom and then the day she dumped Harry in his arms – and both those times he hadn’t really paid attention to the colour of her eyes.

Ms. Evans’ eyes were beautiful - the kind you could write poetry about, the kind you could get lost in, the kind that could cure any ailment, the kind that could -

“We do!” Harry exclaimed loudly. Ms. Evans laughed. James shook himself out of his reverie.

“Well then,” she started saying and took Harry’s hand to lead him inside the class. “Let’s go.”

Harry walked a few steps before stopping.

“What’s wrong?” Ms. Evans looked down and frowned slightly at him.

“Can my Dad come too?” He asked timidly. “He’s my bestest friend.”

“Oh, no bud. Remember we discussed this - ” James began but Mrs. Evans cut him off.

“It’s fine, Mr. Potter. Parents are allowed to sit with their children today for an hour. It’s sort of an orientation class.” She turned her head to smile at a new mother-daughter duo. “I’m sorry, I have to greet the others. You can help Harry find his place, his name is stuck on it.” With a parting smile, she left.

James walked over to Harry to help him find his seat. They sat down and James asked Harry how he liked his new class.

“I like Ms. Evans,” Harry said decisively and turned to talk to the red haired boy next to him.

“Me too,” James agreed silently while watching the attractive teacher interact with her students.

James pulled out his phone to text his best friend, Sirius.

James Potter to Sirius Black: ill b 1 hour late orientation class with harry

Sirius Black: i’ll cover 4 u. as usual.

Sirius Black: how’s d lil bugger?

James Potter: he likes his new teacher

Sirius Black: she fit??????

James Potter: the fittest

James Potter: green eyes

Sirius Black: haha u r so fucked

James Potter: i kno

Ms. Evans wished everyone a Good Morning and he put his phone away.

“Welcome to kindergarten! Since it’s your first class I thought we could start with something fun. I’m going to give you all a white paper and some paints. You can use your fingerprints to make a cool picture with your parents. Does that sound fun?”

There were a few mumbled ‘yes’es, some remained silent but most talked amongst themselves.

She distributed the paper and gave each table a set of paints. Harry and James dipped their fingers in the various paints to make a pot of flowers. James’ huge thumbprints became the brown flowerpot and Harry’s tiny fingerprints became the colourful flowers.

“What pretty flowers,” Ms. Evans commented from behind James.

“Thanks Ms. Evans,” Harry beamed and proceeded to press his finger on the paper with a renewed zeal.

“It’s a pot of flowers because we’re the Potters. Get it?” James was awarded with a light tinkling laugh for his joke. His stomach swooped.

“Very clever.” She grinned before moving over to the next desk.

.

When it was time for the parents to leave Ms. Evans made announcement.

“On your child’s desk, I’ve kept a file for the parents. One set of papers are forms for emergency contacts, allergies and other such details. I would appreciate it if that form could be filled and handed over to the office in three days. Another paper has all my contact details. Please don’t hesitate to call me if you have any trouble.”

James found the blue file she was talking of and immediately flipped to her contact details.

Lily Evans

Phone Number: 7639847906

Email: lilyevans60@gmail.com

If you wish to meet with me in person, you may do so during the lunch break, 12:00 – 1:00.

James saved the number into his phone at once. For Harry’s sake only and not for any other reason.

(Yeah, right.)

.

As the weeks passed, Harry grew steadily fonder of Ms. Evans. It was Ms. Evans this and Ms. Evans that. Not that James minded. Not in the least. In fact, James too grew steadily fond of Ms. Evans with each of Harry’s stories about her, not to mention the small smiles she would give him when he picked up Harry from school.

One afternoon, as James was collecting Harry from school, Ms. Evans stopped him.

“Mr. Potter, I would like to talk to you for a minute.”

“Er-sure.”

“Harry, why don’t you go draw me picture?” Ms. Evans suggested. She pulled out some crayons and a paper and settled Harry in a seat in the corner. She gestured for James to follow him to the teacher’s desk.

“Mr. Potter, I think your son needs glasses.”

“Glasses?”

“Yes, he has a hard time seeing the board. Perhaps this weekend you or your wife could take him to the ophthalmologist on Third Street.”

“I’m not married but will do. Thanks.”

Ms. Evans smiled at him and his brain turned to mush.

“Bye Harry,” Ms. Evans waved to them as they were leaving. “Goodbye Mr. Potter.”

.

James Potter to Lily Evans: i took Harry to d doc  

James Potter: u were right  

James Potter: he needs glasses

James Potter: btw this is james

James Potter: james potter

Lily Evans: if u were tryin to do bond james bond that was a MASSIVE FAILURE

Lily Evans: glad to help :)

James Potter: help show dat i’m a failure?

Lily Evans: NO. help harry.

Lily Evans: tho that was fun 2.

James Potter: i’m offended

.

James Potter to PETE HAS A DATE! The world ends at 8:30 tonight: she txts lyk me

James Potter: and congrats Pete

James Potter: what did u do

James Potter: blackmail her

Sirius Black: haha good one

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u both

Remus Lupin: Who texts like you?

Sirius Black: who else? harry’s teacher. the one he FANCIES

Peter Pettigrew: u r pathetic

Reums Lupin: I second that.

James Potter: she is a nice person with a cute cat

Remus Lupin: How do you know that?

James Potter: . . . . . . . . i found her ig

Sirius Black: fyi I’m facepalming

James Potter: she posts pics of her cat

James Potter: her bf

James Potter:  or her cat and bf

James Potter: her captions r puns and funny jokes

Peter Pettigrew: she has a boyfriend?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Remus Lupin: Again, you are pathetic.

Sirius Black: Say aye if u think Prongs is pathetic and needs a shag

Remus Lupin: aye

Peter Pettigrew: aye

Sirius Black: AYEEEEEE

James Potter: NAYYYYYYYY

James Potter: BF AS IN BEST FRIEND

James Potter: @marmarlovesbonbons

Sirius Black changed group name to James Potter is the new CEO of Stalker™

James Potter changed group name to NO I’M NOT

Remus Lupin: It’s not too late. You can still get help.

James Potter: blocked

James Potter: gtg harry spilled milk

Remus Lupin: Good riddance.

.

On Monday morning James dropped Harry bright and early unlike most days on which they managed to reach in the nick of time. In fact Harry was the third in class; the other two were a boy with blonde hair and a girl with bushy brown hair who James recognized as Hermione Granger and one of Harry’s best friends.

“You’re early,” Ms. Evans said. Then she noticed Harry’s new glasses.  “You got glasses!”

“They’re just like my Dad’s.” Harry said proudly. Harry had chosen the round, wire-rimmed spectacles despite the doctor telling him he looked adorable in the glasses with the green, rectangular frames.

“You look handsome, just like your Dad.”

“Thanks, Ms. Evans,” Harry beamed. “I’m going to show Hermione my new glasses. Bye Dad!” Harry quickly walked up to Hermione, leaving the two adults alone.

“You think I’m handsome?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I think Harry’s cute.”

“No, I don’t think that’s what you said. You said that Harry looks handsome, just like his dad.”

A slight flush coloured her cheeks, making her look very appealing. “I’ve got lessons to plan,” she said in a small voice and turned away from James, purposefully ducking her head.

James laughed.

.

James Potter to The Lads and the Dad: she thinks i’m handsome

Remus Lupin: Not this again.

Sirius Black: poor ms. evans

Sirius Black: I didn’t kno she was blind.

Peter Pettigrew: ahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH

James Potter removed Sirius Black

Remus Lupin added Sirius Black

Sirius Black removed James Potter

Sirius Black changed group name to The Lads

Remus Lupin added James Potter

James Potter changed group name to The Lads and the HANDSOME Dad

Remus Lupin removed James Potter

.

“I want chocolate fudge,” Harry told Sirius.

It was Sirius’ birthday and Harry, James and all his friends were out at the ice cream parlor in a mall. The mall was a shoddy building which had once been the office of a company that went bankrupt. Nobody cared for the mall much but it was home to the best ice cream parlor in the world, namely Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor.

Before Harry was born, all the lads would have gone to a pub and gotten completely sloshed. But the last time they did that, Harry was conceived. Now they stuck to ice cream parlors and arcades.

“For me too,” Remus added while Peter nodded in agreement.

“You’re buying your own ice cream. I’m only sponsoring the little twerp,” Sirius said and ruffled Harry’s hair goodnaturedly.

“Harry, what did Ms. Evans teach you yesterday?” Peter asked.

“That we must be kind and help those in need.”

“Don’t you think Uncle Sirius should be kind and help those in need?” Remus pursued.

“Yes.”

“And how can he help us?” asked Peter.

“By buying everyone ice cream.” Harry said. Peter and Remus smirked, James laughed, Sirius grumbled words which made James smack him over the head.

James, Harry and Peter found a table by the window while Sirius and Remus went to order the ice cream. James fiddled with his phone as Peter taught Harry how to make a swan out of the cheap paper napkins on the table. James didn’t pay much attention until Harry shouted, “Ms. Evans!”

James turned to look where Harry was looking. Ms. Evans stood by a nearby table, a shopping bag in one hand and the other hand balanced her vanilla ice cream. She wasn’t wearing the skirts or dresses that James was accustomed to seeing her in but was wearing ratty jeans and a t-shirt that advertised her love for The Beatles. James decided that Lily Evans was the type of person who looked good in anything she wore.

Ms. Evans saw them and smiled in recognition. She walked over to the table where they sat.

“Hello Harry, what are you doing here?”

“It’s Uncle Sirius’ birthday.”

“Well, tell him I say Happy Birthday.”

“Look! He’s over there.” Harry pointed to where Sirius and Remus were making their way back to the table.

They set down the ice cream.  Harry was happy to ignore the grown-ups around him and dug into his ice cream.

“Happy Birthday,” Ms. Evans warmly wished Sirius.

“Thanks,” Sirius replied chirpily. “You must be Ms. Evans.”

“How did you know?”

“Harry talks of you all the time.” Sirius pointedly looked at James as he said the last three words. James ignored him.

“He talks of you too.”

Peter, who had finished making his swan, tuned into the conversation. “Wait, you’re Ms. Evans?”

“Yes, Pete. Please keep up,” Sirius commented.

“The one and only,” she grinned.

“Cheers. You got us free ice cream.”

“Erm, thanks.” Ms. Evans seemed confused. “I think.”

“Don’t worry. It’s a compliment.” Remus said.

“I should hope so. You must be Uncle Remus.”

“I should hope so,” Remus echoed and Lily laughed.

James finally seemed to find his voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Why Mr. Potter, are you one of those people who believe teachers live in school?”

“Uh, no?” James said almost as if he was doubtful.

“I ran out of Ribena,” she shrugged.

Sirius grinned at the mention of his favourite non-alcoholic drink. “I like her.”

Just then a tall, blonde woman joined Ms. Evans and James recognised her at once. “The paper towels in the loo are shi-” she began to say.

“Marlene,” Ms. Evans cut in. Her eyes pointed to Harry who was examining the new lady inquisitively. “This is my student, Harry, his father and various uncles.”

“Oh hello,” she mumbled sheepishly. The others just nodded. “The paper towels in the loo are shitake mushrooms.”

“Shitake mushrooms?” Harry asked curiously.

“Yeah, I hate shitake mushrooms. Bleh.” She screwed up her face to make an exaggerated, funny face.

Harry giggled. “I hate onions. They make your mouth smelly.” He then resumed eating his ice cream and tuned out of the conversation.

“Are you @marmarlovesbonbons?” Sirius asked.

“Yes.” Marlene narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him and even Ms. Evans regarded him questioningly.

It was mark of their friendship that Sirius didn’t even wince when James stomped on his foot; he had been anticipating it.

“I think you came on my suggested once,” Sirius explained.

“Right,” Marlene replied dubiously. She turned to Ms. Evans. “I think we’d better go, Lily.”

“Yeah. Nice meeting you,” Ms. Evans told the boys. “Goodbye Mr. Potter. I’ll see you for the parent-teacher meeting on Monday. Bye Harry!”

There were ‘Byes and ‘Goodbyes’ said in a variety of tones from all around the table. James watched her leave until the last strand of her auburn hair disappeared from sight.

“I like Ms. Evans’ friend,” Harry declared as he finished his cup of ice cream.

“Do you like Ms. Evans?” Sirius had a devious glint in his stormy eyes.

“I love Ms. Evans.”

“Your Dad likes Ms. Evans too.”

“Sirus,” James warned but Sirius ignored him.

“How would you feel if they got married?” Sirius persisted.

“You mean Ms. Evans would be my Mummy? That would be so cool.” Harry was thrilled. “Dad, are you going to marry Ms. Evans?”

“No, Harry. Your Uncle Sirius is just being stupid.”

“Harry! James said a bad word. Take five quid from him.”

“Stupid is not a bad word,” Harry said sagely

“What?” Sirius cried. “Last week I gave you two pounds for saying stupid.”

“Ms. Evans says stupid.”

“Really?”

“She says ‘stupid chalk’, ‘stupid shoes’, ‘stupid pencil’, ‘stupid stapler’ . . .” Harry went on.

Stupid became James’ new favourite word.

.

Come Monday afternoon, James felt jittery. He had never felt this anxious for a parent-teacher meeting, not even when his parents were called to the principal’s office after he flooded the school hallway.

As usual, he was one of the last parents to arrive. Ms. Evans was talking to a mother and father, while two children were playing with legos in the corner of the classroom, one of them being his own son. When James entered, Ms. Evans finished talking to the other parents. She gestured for James to sit in the seats the other couple had occupied moments before.

“Good Afternoon, Mr. Potter.”

On an impulse he said, “James.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You can call me James.”

“All right then,” Ms. Evans smiled and she stuck her hand out, “I’m Lily.”

James shook her hand and it was as soft as he had expected. “Nice to meet you ,Lily.”

“Harry is a good kid. He’s friendly with his classmates though at times he fights with Draco.”

“That kid deserves it,” James said darkly. He had heard all the stories of Draco cutting in line and Draco stealing Neville’s ball.

“Be that as it may,” Lily continued, amused. “Fighting with students is frowned upon. Harry is also very curious about the world but perhaps it would be best to teach him that living animals belong outside and not in his pocket.”

James laughed. And then shuddered. He remembered having to scrape out a dead lizard form Harry’s pockets when he was doing the laundry yesterday.

“Another thing I’d like to discuss is that lately Harry has taken to calling me Mum.”

James cringed.

“I know it must be difficult without a mother but no matter what I say he isn’t stopping.”

“That’s just a joke between him and Sirius.”

“Oh?”

Well. . . what to say? What to say, indeed.

“Sirius might have told Harry that I like you.”

“Oh?” Her expression remained unreadable.

“Yeah.” Now that that was out in the open, James might as well expose all his cards. “In fact, I really like you and would love it if you’d grab some lunch with me.”

James was hyper aware of everything as the seconds dragged on –the way Lily’s lips had parted ever so slightly, the way her eyes had widened fractionally, the way his palms were becoming disgustingly sweaty and how dry his throat was becoming.

“I’m sorry,” Lily finally said apologetically. “There’s a rule that teachers can’t date their students’ parents.” James’ face must have shown disappointment because she quickly amended, “And I’m not just making an excuse. I genuinely like you too.”

James brightened at that admission.

“But I’d like to stick to the rules,” she finished.

James leaned over the table separating them. “But would you be open to a date when Harry’s in grade one?”

Lily smiled coyly, “Maybe.”

“I’m going to take that as a yes.”

She laughed and Harry, who was now the only student in the classroom, came running to know what was so funny.

“Nothing, Harry. Ms. Evans and I just made a deal.” James and Lily shared a secret smile.

“That you’re going to get married?”

Lily sputtered a bit behind the desk but James didn’t take his eyes off her while answering Harry.

“Maybe.”

[melted-wax-wings]

1-100

there’s a ton of these so here’s a read more

Is a kiss considered cheating? - Yes

Have you ever faked orgasm? - Nah

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? -Telekinesis

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? -Probs not

Tell us some funny drunk story. - I just have high stories where i was being a memer.

Why are you no longer together with your ex? -Eh, personal reasons that i don’t feel like sharing tbh

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? - In my sleep bc i’m a big baby

What are your current goals? - I’d like to get started on a poetry book

Do you like someone? - I mean, I have a bf so

Who was the last person to disappoint you? - honestly myself lmfao

Do you like your body? - NAH SON

Can you keep a diet? - fuck no i love food too much

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? - “hey can we not be dicks to each other?”

Do you work? - nah but god i wish i was bc i need money

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? - ngl my basic ass would pick sushi

Would you get a tattoo? - Yeeee

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? - Pokemon games tbh

Can you drive? - Ye but not very well

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? - This morning

What was the last thing you cried for? - ngl i’ve been crying over everything the past few days

Do you keep a journal? - Nah, i’m not interesting enough to have one

Is life fun? - If I’m with others, yes

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? - I mean, it’s a bodily function but it’s not a very socially acceptable one. i personally don’t care

What’s your dream car? - VW bug bc i enjoy the thought of people hitting each other when i drive by

Are grades in school important? - it’s very dependent on the situation. i personally feel like grades should only be a very high priority in one’s major field of study/related studies. However, grades shouldn’t take priority over one’s physical, mental, and emotional health.

Describe your crush. - he’s got these gorgeous eyes that change color. he’s tall and gives amazing hugs. he’s a phenomenal writer and is incredibly intelligent about such a variety of topics from music to writing to just about anything. he’s patient, loving, and funny. honestly he’s amazing and i fall more in love with him every day.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? - Alice in Wonderland. i hadn’t seen it prior to last week but just the animation and story-telling was just amazing to me

What was your last lie? - that the reason i didn’t want to go out was because of my stomach hurting

Dumbest lie you ever told? - not sure tbh

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? - not at all

Something you did and you are proud of? - Being recognized as a poet at my college’s poetry festival

What’s your favourite cocktail? - don’t really have one x.x

Something you are good at? - i like to think i’m okie at motivating others

Do you like small kids? - i’m okay with kids as long as they aren’t overly loud

How are you feeling right now? - a lil grumpy bc the ac isn’t on

What would you name your daughter/son? - Jason would be my son, Robin would be my daughter

What do you need to be happy? - Personal growth

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? - ME TBH

What was the last gift you received? - some books from my bb

What was the last gift you gave? - UHHHH I DUNNO

What was the last concert you went to? - Twenty One Pilots

Favourite place to shop at? - Hot Topic, can’t even lie

Who inspires you? - My bb, mostly because i want to be up at his level when doing things

How old were you when you first got drunk? - Haven’t really gotten drunk-drunk yet

How old were you when you first got high? - 19

How old were you when you first had sex? - 19

When was your first kiss? - Freshman year of highschool

Something you want to do until the end of this year? - i would like to build my confidence

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? - there is so much omg

Post a selfie. - UH I MAY NOT BC I’M GROSS AF RIGHT NOW

Who are you most comfortable around? - @thenerdyshadow and @shining-wonwoo

Name one thing that terrifies you. - BEING ALONE

What kind of books do you read? - mostly dystopian/adventure novels

What would you tell your 12 year old self? - “listen ya lil shit don’t complain about not being in a relationship”

What is your favourite flower? - Lilies

Any bad habits you have? - Cracking my knuckles holy shit

What kind of people are you attracted to? - Highly passionate, emotional people

What was the last thing you cried for? - MY LEAGUE RANKING NGL

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? - i don’t think of anything off the bat but i’m very sensitive to the textures/aesthetics of food

Are you in love? - Yeee

Something you find romantic? - I love little gestures that show that someone is thinking about me like mentioning that they saw something that reminded them of me or like a long message in the middle of the night to wake up to

How long was your longest relationship? - 3 years 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? - that there’s something inherently wrong with liking stereotypically feminine things, that we are seemingly always in competition over something, that cattiness is almost expected??? like damn why can’t we be nice to each other 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?  - balls on the outside of the body are just not anatomically smart, fragile masculinity, the attack on boys who decide to deviate from the norm

What are you saving money for? - i have no money pls help me

How would you describe your bad side? - i get moody and tend to snap at people when i really don’t mean to. i will sometimes do things just to spite people/escalate a situation tho

Are you actually a good person? Why? - i personally don’t see myself as a good person because i’ve done plenty of shitty things that i knew that i shouldn’t have done

What are you living for? - The hope for a better future

Have you ever done anything illegal? - Yee

Do you like your body? - Not particularly

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? - I have, mostly because the person was toxic

Ever sent nudes? -Ye

Have you ever cheated on someone? - i prefer not to answer this one

Favourite candy? - i love 3 musketeers

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! - uhhh mostly my friends blogs but i can’t really tag all atm

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? - Online games i enjoy are Overwatch and League of Legends. I also enjoy Stardew Valley on PC.

Favourite TV series? - don’t really watch tv

Are you religious? Does God exist? - i’m personally not that religious, but i respect that people do have beliefs in high powers but should not infringe on others rights to not believe

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? - i can’t even tell you what i read fully bc it’s honestly been that long

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? - i commend others who are capable of making that lifestyle choice bc i know i could never do so. i’m fine with it so long as it isn’t shoved into my face

How long have you been on Tumblr? - probs 6-7 years? idk

Do you like Chineese food? - i am a slut for chinese food

McDonalds or Subway? Mcdonalds

Vodka or whiskey? Vodka (haven’t tried whiskey)

Alcohol or drugs? drugs (weed bc i haven’t done anything else)

Ever been out of your province/state/country? - I’ve only left my state. i’d love to leave the country one day

Meaning behind your blog name? - shitty Overwatch/Wonderwall pun

What are you scared of? - being abandoned by the people i love and being forced to live alone :^)

Last time you were insulted? - YESTERdAY

Most traumatic experience ? - my mother being a revolving door in my life and giving me severe abandonment issues 

Perfect date idea? - i love the idea of just a nice day together inside but going out at night to dinner and just exploring the world around us

Favourite app on your phone? - tumblr bc i can’t get away from this hellsite

What colour are the walls in your room? - they’re kind of white/brown/gray? it’s hard to explain tbh

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? - i do! i watch mostly league youtubers though. i’ve been on a hardcore BunnyFuFu kick as of the last few days

Share your favourite quote. “I’m dying squirtle”

What is the meaning of life? - To be happy

Do you like horror movies? - I enjoy them in concept, but i’m bad at watching them ;-;

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? - NAH FAM SHE MAdE ME CRY

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? - i guess but i don’t think i really deserve to

Can you keep a secret? - ye