#that's right i'm a burg believer and I spelt it berg in the title

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

DSMP Anniversary Recap: L’MANBERG

After their drug business idea resulted in disaster last time, Wilbur comes back to the server with a second plan: to turn their humble Camarvan into a new, independent server where no Americans are whitelisted.

The first order of business? Build a wall.

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VOD LINKS:

Tubbo [unavailable]

Ponk [unavailable]

TommyInnit

Wilbur Soot

Eret [unavailable]

Punz [unavailable]

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The previous day, Wilbur and Tommy discussed their plans for building an empire as Tommy constructed an underground sewer system, a nation where selling drugs is allowed.

“How do you know Sapnap’s not gonna like, I dunno, you know what they’re like, man, how do we know they’re not gonna…make it a war?” 

“How I see it is they can declare war, they can do whatever they want, but if we just ignore them and don’t acknowledge it, we win. We can’t lose...”

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- Tommy’s noticed that the server is full of fighting, and he wants money. How does one monetize fighting? A fight club! He can make a fight club in his basement

- Alyssa comes over and hands him a poppy with Ponk. Ponk explains that Alyssa is his lawyer

- Wilbur tells Tommy off for being rude to them

- Later, Sapnap comes over to his basement. Tommy touches the “Do Not Touch” chest and falls to his death

- Sapnap likes Tommy’s fight club idea and helps him dig out the room

- Wilbur joins Tommy’s VC as Tommy is speaking with Sapnap and scolds him for talking with an American, pulling him into a different VC.

Last time, they tried to sell drugs out of their hotdog van and some people didn’t approve of that. This time? Wilbur wants a revolution.

Wilbur: “Starting a movement is easy. You know, Tommy? Anyone can start a movement. Movements are cool. If you start a movement towards a common good, you’re cool! You know? Nothing ever goes wrong! Revolutions are hard, Tommy. Lots of people are gonna oppose us, Tommy.”

- The first thing they need to do…is build a wall

- Wilbur logs on in the Camarvan and sees Tubbo’s package of blaze rods. Tommy asks how much armor he should be wearing, Wilbur says none

Wilbur: “We don’t win wars with battles and with armor. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.”

- He opens the package of blaze rods from Tubbo and talks about how his wildest dream is a nation where they can sell drugs with no one to stop them

Wilbur: “Why are you being all quiet and slow to talk to me?”

Tommy: “No no no, I’m just trying to decipher who’s on the right side of history right now.”

- Wilbur shows Tommy all the blaze rods. They’re on the right side of history. Tommy shows Wilbur the flaming hotdog on top of the van. He likes it

- The first law of their new place is that no UHC block placement is allowed (he demonstrates by parkouring across the water). That’s banned

- Sapnap comes over and gives Wilbur some blaze rods

Wilbur: “Oh yeah, you can’t buy our peace from your tyranny.”

Sapnap: (whispering to Wilbur) I’ve changed Sapnap: just Sapnap: look Sapnap: Ive tried brewing

Wilbur: once an American always an American

- Tommy punches him away and Sapnap goes away. They call him. Sapnap says, though he can’t join their posse, once their empire grows he wants to buy their potions. He’s possibly addicted to their supply. They have their first export

- Wilbur needs sand, gravel and dandelions for the wall. He sends Tommy on his way. Tommy asks the new empire’s policy on women. Wilbur says they’re allowed as long as they’re European

- Wilbur starts drawing out the border and asks him what their new nation should be called

- Dream logs on. Tommy asks Wilbur how he and Dream have been since they flirted. Wilbur says he just wants to rob George of his loves. Wilbur asks Dream if he wants to kiss

Wilbur: “He’s not responding. Is he gonna ban me for xenophobia?”

Dream: (in chat) who

Wilbur: (in chat) you

Tommy: “What’s…what’s ‘xeno…?’”

Wilbur: “A distaste towards other countries.”

Tommy: “Oh look, here’s Tubbo. He’s on his own adventure.”

Dream: social distancing

Wilbur: SMART

Tubbo fell from a high place.

- Wilbur screams after getting startled by Tommy coming into the van. Tommy throws him a carrot (“Have a carrot, please, calm yourself”) and gives Wilbur the supplies for the concrete

- Tommy goes to speak with “Small T” (Tubbo) and they get him in VC. Tommy tells him “viva la revolution!” and asks for some sand. They also need black dye

Wilbur: “Tubbo, what’s your stance on the States?”

Tubbo: “Those United States? I mean, I’ve heard stuff’s pretty nuts over there so I guess it’s not going great for them.”

Wilbur: “Yeah, we’re pulling a reverse independence.”

Tommy: “Yeah, we’re taking away their independence!”

Wilbur: “No no no no no, we’re not – no no, they’re staying independent. We’re claiming independence from the server.”

Tubbo: “I thought everyone was already independent? Everyone can already do what they want.”

Wilbur: “No, see, when you’re on this server, you’re on the Dream SMP, right? Yeah, we’re making our own land so that when you are in our borders you are no longer on the Dream SMP.”

Tubbo: “Oh…okay…”

- From the drug war a few days ago, Wilbur’s decided that the Americans can’t be trusted to run their own nation

Wilbur: “So what we’re doing is we’re – we’re taking control. We’re making our own nation.”

Tubbo: “Nice!”

Wilbur: “Our own server. And we’re gonna make the Americans pay for it!”

Tubbo: “Wai– uhhhh…”

Wilbur: “See the thing is, Tubbo, server upkeep costs money. A pittance to Dream, may I add, the billionaire thing he is, but like, we still – we’re gonna be still not paying a single penny for the upkeep of the server. But we will have our own independent emancipated land that will not be part of the server.”

- Tubbo is onboard. They ask Tubbo for name suggestions. Tubbo suggests “Not Dream SMP.” Wilbur wants something more original

- Tommy comes back with an idea. There’s only one woman on the server, and they won’t be letting her into the state since she’s American, so what he’s thinking is:

Tommy: “Why don’t we call it…Manberg? Or alternatively, Mantopia?”

Wilbur: “I like Mantopia. But how do we make it European? United Manberg.”

Tommy: “United Mantopia. UNM – wait, lemme Google if it means anything offensive—"

- Since it only stands for the University of New Mexico, Tommy decides it’s good. But Wilbur realizes it sounds too much like the United States

Wilbur: “What about ‘Le?’ Le-Man-berg.”

Tommy: (in chat) le man burg

- Wilbur declares it “L’manberg,” as that’s how the French do it – and the French are quite big on their revolutions. “Lemonburg” is declared a slur in their nation. They will cancel anyone who calls it that

- Tubbo takes off his armor and they discuss “war-winning words.” Wilbur quotes Hamilton and Tommy suspects him of lyric pranking

- Wilbur is the general of L’manberg and Tommy is his right-hand man. Tommy suggests they make the Camarvan an embassy but Wilbur declares it the capital, the state building instead

- Tommy gives Wilbur a stone hoe and Wilbur hoes a single piece of land outside the van before getting an idea. He hoes another piece of land and declares it the “unsullied ground.” Tommy starts singing Hallelujah to it

- Wilbur wants revolutionary skins. He wants a redcoat skin. Their slogan? “L’manberg: We are alarming.”

- There is a hidden clause in Tubbo and Tommy joining L’manberg, and that is that they will have to have houses there. They are citizens

- Tubbo spends a minute spinning around trying to find Wilbur

- They spot Dream nearby and go to speak to him. He says he’s just chilling. Wilbur tells Tommy to shout war words at him

- Dream joins the call and they tell him that “L’manberg” is seceding from Dream SMP. This is their own server now. Dream notes that it seems pretty small, but Wilbur tells him it’s what they do with it that counts

- Dream asks what happens if the rest of the server decides to take over the land. Wilbur says that’s not how servers work. The laws – or “gamerules,” rather, of their server is that PvP is turned off. Wilbur tells him that he’s not whitelisted in their server and has to stay out. All they want is Dream’s acknowledgement – and he’s paying for it

- Wilbur tells him he can set up his own visa and whitelist for Dream SMP and that they don’t need anything outside of these walls. All Tommy and Tubbo need is to move all their items there. Dream is skeptical and asks Tubbo if he’s really doing that

Tubbo: “…HEYYY, so I was born in the Dream SMP, and um…”

Tommy: “Yeah yeah, as was I! I was also born over there so really, we have duo citizenship—”

Wilbur: “—There’s no dual citizenship in our nation. Our nation has zero dual citizenship.”

Tubbo: (crosstalk) “Wait, why are you making it difficult for us?”

Wilbur: “Look at me. Do you boys care about the revolution?”

Tommy: “…Yes.”

Wilbur: “Look, Dream isn’t our enemy. He’s our neighbor. But, we are seceding from his tyrannical rule.”

Tubbo: “What’s ‘tyrannical’ mean?”

Wilbur: (laughs) “Big words. That’s what we use in war. Say it, Tubbo.”

Tubbo: “Tyran-zanical.”

- They argue back and forth about infinite women

- Tommy suggests that they call his land, which is in Dream SMP, an embassy instead. In return, Dream can set up an embassy in L’manberg

- Eret logs on and Dream walks away

- It’s time to make Invisibility potions. Eret joins the call and they fill him in

- Wilbur locks Tommy and Tubbo in the van until they make Invisibility potions and leaves. Neither of them want to play with “the weird neighbor’s child”

- Wilbur explains to Eret that the issue last time was not the drugs, but that the Americans got involved and now they’re making their own server where Americans aren’t whitelisted. Eret already has visa by being a European. 

They’re calling it “Drexit”

- Tommy goes to his base to establish the embassy. Wilbur makes a “scum window” in the wall

- Tommy sees Dream at the embassy, telling him he has to follow the L’manburg rules on the land

- Tommy is allowed to start a “fight club” not just in his embassy, but even in L’manburg itself 

- Wilbur is horrified when he notices that the holy soil has become untilled. He calls Eret over and they re-till it 

- Wilbur declares the four of them the founding fathers. Tommy asks if he is Hamilton 

Tubbo: “Was Abraham Lincoln a founding father?”

Wilbur: “No, he was several hundred years after.”

Tubbo: “Oh.”

Eret: “Just a few hundred years off, you know? Easy mistake to make.”

Tubbo: “Better late than never.”

- Tommy yells at Tubbo for going through his chests and threatens to kill him. Eret and Wilbur start whispering to each other and Tommy and Tubbo become self-aware 

- Tommy notices Alyssa and Dream approaching the embassy

Tommy: “Good news and bad news. I’ve got you a woman. Bad news? She’s American.”

- Wilbur starts laughing so hard he has to stand up and walk away while Tommy and Dream bicker

- Tommy calls Niki on the phone, telling her they need women who aren’t American, but Niki isn’t whitelisted yet. Tommy asks Dream to add her and he declines. Wilbur tells Dream not to add her as it would delegitimize the manhood of L’manburg

Tommy: Too shay

Dream: too shay

- Wilbur, hungry, goes “manfishing,” whispering “salmon” repeatedly as he kills them

- Both Tubbo and Eret have done well. Wilbur tells Tommy he really is the “Hamilton” of their nation and hasn’t done much for them

- The signature meal of L’manburg is salmon

- Tommy and Wilbur start rapping “Non-Stop” from Hamilton the musical

- Wilbur and Tommy walk and talk

Wilbur: “Look around.”

Tommy: “At how happy we are to be alive right now.”

- Wilbur reminds Tommy of how far they’ve come, but Tommy has done very little in terms of setting up. Tommy takes Wilbur to the embassy

- Wilbur changes the sign on Tommy’s house to read “L’Manburg Embassy” and says he feels that Tommy isn’t fully devoted to the cause. Tommy doesn’t want to give up his home and tries suggesting the Power Tower instead

- Wilbur leaves Tommy and returns to L’manburg

Wilbur: “Chat…I think we’ve lost him. I think we’ve lost TommyInnit.”

- Wilbur doesn’t approve of Tommy living with the enemy. Tommy finally agrees to give up his home to be the embassy

- Wilbur tells them it’s time to don the skins

- Tommy notices that the forest outside L’manburg’s borders is on fire. In the distance he spots Alyssa and angrily runs after her

Tommy: “Wilbur! Wilbur! Do I kill the woman?”

Tubbo: “Yes!”

Wilbur: “Yes! Yes, Tommy! You kill the woman!”

- Wilbur and Tubbo start running after as well

Eret: “I thought we use our words! I thought we used our words!”

Tommy: “No.”

Wilbur: “Not in this case. Anyone -- they’ve tried to burn down our forest.”

Tubbo: “We care most about the forest.”

- They are like the Lorax. Alyssa combat logs. When she logs back in, Tommy kills her. Punz immediately shoots Tommy down, outraged that he would kill a woman

- Alyssa calls them and asks for her stuff back, saying she didn’t start the forest fire. Sapnap logs on and arrives with Punz. They start walking back

- The fire is still spreading and Tommy thinks it might be a political attack. Wilbur turns around and tells Tommy to go home. This isn’t a political attack and Tommy is too dangerous, running his mouth and talking too much

Tommy: “Tell me the thing he says in the second song of the musical Hamilton.”

Wilbur: “I think about death so much it feels more like a memory.”

- Wilbur dismisses Tommy, growing more and more annoyed as Tommy keeps on reciting various song lyrics to him

- Sapnap and Dream arrive as Wilbur goes off to get materials. Punz puts out the forest fire and Fundy has just logged on, confused

- Sapnap and Dream take Tubbo hostage in a hole in the ground. Tubbo drops Tommy an Invisibility potion

- Sapnap and Dream kill them as Wilbur arrives, losing them the Invisibility potions

- Wilbur gathers everyone in the Camarvan, a book and quill in hand. It’s time to draft the Declaration:

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DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE

Signed: Wilbur Soot Tubbo_ TommyInnit ERET

Forever the nation of the DreamSMP have cast great sins upon our great land of the hto dog van.

They have robbed us. Imprisoned us. Threatened us. Killed many of our men.

This time of tyranny ends with us

This book declares that the nation which shall be henceforth known as L’Manberg is seperate, emancipated and independant from the nation of DreamSMP.

The union of the masters of men. Together we are one. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one to dissolve the bonds which bind us. Disregarding of this truth is nothing short of tyranny.

WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT. THAT ALL _MEN_ ARE CREATED EQUAL

The right of the people exists above the right of the king. The right of the government and the right of the economy.

From the hto dog van we shall prevail.

Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory.

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- The four sign the Declaration on the roof of the Camarvan, witnessed by Dream, Sapnap, Punz and Fundy watching from afar. Wilbur frames it in the van

- An invisible person arrives in the van to deliver a second book:

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Declaration Of War

Sometimes you just gotta kill some people sometimes yaknow - Sun Tzu

Dream SMP declares war on la’manburg

JOINT RESOLUTION --PUNZ --SAPNAP --DREAM

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- Wilbur and Dream exchange books

- Wilbur gives some motivational words to the L’manburgians. This is how they consolidate can power. This is an opportunity

Wilbur: “We do not fight a war of – of the war of greater sticks. We’re not looking for technological advancement, right. The war we’re fighting is gonna be done through guerilla tactics. It’s gonna be done through attrition…”

“And I want you guys on my side.”

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UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY DATES:

July 31: Fundy becomes Wilbur’s son

August 2: Doomsday

August 3: Jack Manifold joins the server

August 6: Niki joins the server

August 9: Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo create a drug park