#that's not Vox bc he is definitely practicing all the time. but it's also Vox. to me

[hypervoxel]

"Vox can't be ace/aspec because he's bisexual" well. So untrue about how sexuality and romantic attraction works and the labels people use to define themselves. But more importantly for my headcanons, don't you know about the bisexual "I don't have any preferences for what I find attractive, so... that means I'm bi?" to asexual "oh, so the equal amounts of attraction I was feeling towards all genders was none," identity label pipeline?? It's sooo real. But also he's sex favorable so that makes him identifying his attraction to the people he has sex with more complicated. To me, he was a, "Sexual attraction isn't a real thing," kinda guy, "and sexuality is only about who you'd have sex with, and gender isn't really a factor so. Bisexual." (He's aspec.)

[thecontumacious]

Luxiem as your boyfriend

a/n: helloo ahhh first post! hope you had a wonderful day and hopefully these headcanons can fulfill your luxiem boyfie dreams~ Translating, editing, reposting without my permission deserves a bonk! :)

Vox “Daddy” Akuma  👹🌹

the power he holds over you, lord have mercy…

AND THE FACT HE KNOWS ABOUT IT TOO

he’s practically the devil himself with the knowledge of you being down bad for this man

buuttt the feeling is most definitely mutual!

vox is a genuinely appreciative person and does not take anything for granted, so do know he’s going to have his moments thirsting over you too

he’s always there to offer comfort however he can

had a bad day? he’s just about ready to drop everything (even his precious fnaf) and bury you into his chest, whispering sweet nothings and reassurance

nicknames: darling, love, my dear, dear

i feel like he has some natural motherly instincts when it comes to the person he cares about most, so when he knows that you’re skipping a single meal, he’s off to the kitchen to fetch some food and spoon feed you until you are completely stuffed

“Come on, now, eat or i’ll make you.”

i also want to headcanon that his love language is somewhere between acts of service and reassurance in words, since he’s good at both

he wouldn’t mind doing the chores for the day or getting you things at random times, if anything he feels fulfilled that way

it’s good to know he’s taking good care of his s/o, it gives him a peace of mind

as for reassurance of words, it’s very obvious he has a way with them and he knows very well his voice has such effects on a person so vox is mostly definitely going to take advantage

vox is a natural chef, so he cooks all the time for both you and him!

but you know what would rly melt him? you cooking for him 

it doesn’t matter if you’re good at it or not, he can’t help but mald at the thought of someone else cooking for him even though they know he can cook himself

it’s a different level of affection right there!

vox is the big spoon most days, but when the days are a bit rough, he wants to feel spoiled and so he asks to be little spoon and demands kisses every minute of the day

please back hug him when he’s cooking in the kitchen omg

i headcanon this man enjoys his hair being brushed away or basically being taken care of in a way

brush his hair when you’re cuddling, braid it when he’s working/gaming, pin it away when he hasn’t while cooking

“thank you, my dear.”

then he presses a kiss to your temples while bringing you close

he’s pretty touchy feely i think, so whenever he can (even in public) he’s holding you. your hand minimally

if you’re smaller than him (most likely lol), he’s back hugging you and putting his head on top of yours

vox is the type to hold your chin to make you look up at him and then kiss you at random times only because he can

“hello there, darling. mind if i leave a kiss here?”

GOD THIS MAN AHHHHHHHHH

Mysta “Always horny” Rias 🦊🔶

IM JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE NAME (kinda)

let me clarify that whenever mysta isn’t being sussy, he’s actually pretty adorable

his laugh is very contagious btw i love him

nicknames he might use: baby, babe, love, bussy saka (bcs he can)

jokes of all themes are going to be very common, it’s the middle of the day and you’re both doing work and then he’ll suddenly crack a joke out of thin air

it doesn’t matter if it’s bad or corny, the fact that he even came up with it at such a sudden time is hilarious enough

if you manage to not laugh though, mysta isn’t going to give up until he sees you hysterical because of his jokes

stopping his work and making his way over to you

“oh come on, that was funny! i thought of it all day! alright fine, how about this.”

if you give him a pity laugh just to spite him, he’s gonna be pouty about it

mysta is a slut for headpats bet

if hes doing something and you pet and praise him, he’s down bad for more

he’ll stop and ask for more

but if you don’t, again, he’s gonna whine and bug you until he gets the headpats he wants

small kisses on his face, yes??????

he doesn’t look it, but a small boop on the nose is enough to make him flustered bcs hes lowkey shy like that 

mysta adores you so he teases you hajshsjs

he makes a joke out of everything you do and tries to make a pick up line in with the context

i think he’s the type to come up with something and will spill everything to you later when you haven’t met again that day

when he’s out, he’s gonna think of you

say like mysta saw some food and will immediately think if you’d like any

or if he saw some pretty (probably poisonous) flowers, he’d think of bringing them to you later or taking pictures to show you

spams u with emojis and purposefully tries to make you guess what he’s saying

you get it most of the time and it frustrates him so much

when you’re having a bad day, unlike vox, i think he’d panic on what to do

he’s so used to having you smile and laugh, and even though most of his jokes work, he’s worried that if cracks one up, he might say something to make it worse

so, what mysta does (after panicking), he might either a) ask the other members what to do or b) get you something that might cheer you up, like bring you a blanket, your favorite snacks anything to make you smile again bcs when you cry, he’ll be crying too!!

no but seriously, he’s so grateful to have you in his life, mysta wants nothing more than to give you the best (albeit knowing sometimes he’s not perfect) so he rly does try his hardest to make you happy all the time

“hey hey, shhh, d-dont cry, it’s alright… i’m here, see? here, let me get you your favorite blanket. want some ice cream? i think we have some left in the freezer! i’ll be a moment, wait here.”

mysta likes hugging you, therefore physical affection might be his love language, that’s why he melts at headpats and kisses.

especially when days are hard and you just go up to him and hug him, kiss his face away and massage his head

mysta becomes a puddle

“thank you so much, babe. you have no idea how much i wanted this…”

all in all, being in a relationship with mysta is a roller coaster. it’s either just rly chaotic with him or super down low and wholesome, there’s no in between

do be careful of him moaning at super random times though 🙂

other boys utc!

Luca “POGCHAMP” Kaneshiro  🦮🔆

we all know how this is going to go down

luca is generally the brightest and softest boyfie ever!!

golden retriever vibes, confirmed

nicknames: babe, baby, honey, muffin, honeybun (and basically more food related nicknames) 

luca shares all his cheddar cheese pringles with you and doesn’t mind you snacking on them even without him

he says that he wants to share the happiness that way:((

“hey lucaaa, can i snack on your pringles?”

“sure babe! here, i’ll give you a few cans!”

“no wait luca just a few pieces! i can’t take them all… they’re you’re favorite after all”

“yeah i know, but you said you wanted them sooo here! i can always buy more, you know?”

this baby istg

he is the most enthusiastic about gaming with you

whenever luca finds a game interesting, he’s most likely going to invite you to play it

imagine all the pogging oh my god- 

i also like to think luca is extremely patient with his s/o, for example while in gaming, when you don’t understand the mechanics, he’s more than willing to take his time to teach you slowly

he’s just the most supportive bean ever

especially on bad days, i feel like he can handle it the most out of all the luxiem members (biased)

he doesn’t know it (or more like doesn’t realize it?) but when on bad days for you, just him being so worried and trying to make you smile is more than enough

“ah, baby?? w-why are you crying?? AHHH BABY PLEASE DONT CRY! wait lemme grab augustus, pringles and the xbox!! wait here, babe!”

that line is enough to make you smile

when he’s back, you’re already feeling better and healed by his holy light

JUST LOOK AT HIM

i cant stop thinking about luca just rly rly liking nuzzling into you, he’ll randomly give you the biggest bear hug and nuzzle his nose into you

when you’re working, doing nothing, whatever it is, he’ll just hug and nuzzle into you and basically make himself comfy

just like vox, i think luca would like it a lot if you brushed his hair or took care of it in any way

he would rly rly rly like it if you were the one who did his side ponytail

when you first did it, he’s religiously asking you to do it more

“babe, babe, babe, babe, i know you’re like still half asleep but can you do my hair again? pleaseeee? i promise i’ll get you something later!”

you cant rly say no to him sigh

also bcs he’s physically super fit, he’s going to make sure you’re just as fit! 

if he’s going on a run, he’s going to do his damnest that you come on that run with him

“come on, you can do it! once we get to like a km, we can stop! i’ll carry you the rest of the way.”

as a petty revenge, you make him eat his vegetables >:)

he has a rly good sleep schedule too, so he’s going to make sure you’re sleeping enough and your circadian clock is back in order the best he can

when you’re up late doing something, luca is going to get out of bed (no matter how comfy) and will drag you back to bed. with his physical attributes, he’s more than capable to carry you on his shoulder when you’re being stubborn

“come on, up we go! it’s sleepy time!”

luca is gonna make an excuse and say he can’t sleep if it isn’t beside you ;)

he’s going to make you wake up early… but he feels kinda bad so he’ll probably let you sleep in by another hour

the way he’s gonna wake you up has got to be the best way to start the day

“baby, babyyy! hehe, hi there! good morning! come on, let’s start the day together. i made breakfast too!”

btw his love language is most likely quality time:))

honestly, you’ve won at life if you manage to get luca’s hand in marriage

Ike “I want out” Eveland 🖋💙

he’s so cute lord have mercy on my soul

nicknames: darling, sweetheart, sweetie, babe

i feel like he’d like to have you by his side when he works<3

he doesn’t necessarily need to have you talk, he revels in your presence and it makes him feel safe

you could be sleeping with your head on his shoulder and he’s already pretty content with that ahhhhh

ike is going to hold you close against him and definitely spare you kisses every minute he can

he’ll occasionally slip in an “i love you” or any other compliment he can think of

you’ll blush from the random compliments and he likes seeing you flustered, always laughing at your cute expression

“hehe, blushing are we?” 

goddammit iKEEEEE

okay i didn’t add this (mostly because i don’t want to butcher it), but ike is going to give you swedish pet names and i think that’s a different level of sweet!

he’s more than willing to teach you swedish and japanese too xixixi 

also, since ike is a novelist, he’s also def going to recite his passages and or dialogues to you

he’s going to ask for feedback a lot if you don’t mind it, asking if this sounded weird or unnatural or if the prose was too purple (basically means prose is bad lol if ur not in the writer community!)

ike is also a musician mind you so bless your ears he’s going to hum songs randomly

he’ll also ask for feedback on his pieces too!

to him, your input always matters because as an s/o, you don’t sugarcoat it so he really appreciates your honest feedback

ike doesn’t look like it but i know for a fact that he’s lowkey a tease

he’s going to say some pick up line or rly sussy phrase in japanese on purpose just to see your reaction

“o furo ni suru? gohan ni suru? soretomo… watashi?” 

“GODDAMMIT IKE DONT DO THAT!”

“hehe, i just wanted to see your reaction! no need to get all pouty! awee, come here, i’m sorry, sweetheart.”

AnYWAy

ike adores you so so much so he would sometimes write random poems for you

he doesn’t always show them to you bcs he doesn’t want to bug you but i bet he sometimes would recite them when you’re asleep 🥺

i think his love language is acts of service (he’s on the receiving end)

he absolutely appreciates you doing things for him and he does his best to repay it! but you know he can’t help it

ike is melting when you bring him food while he works, telling him to eat and take a break when he can

he loves loves it when you take care of him, say help do his hair, fix his clothes, wipe his glasses down for him. it’s the little things!

even tho ike does this to you a lot, he doesn’t mind it too when you’re reading something to him, whether a novel you’re reading or something you wrote yourself (ahhhhhhh)

i think ike would be into cheek kisses, they’re rly simple but super super sweet

while cuddling, he’s equal in big and small spoon. he finds comfort in holding you and he feels safe when you hold him<3

on bad days, i figured ike is super quiet and doesn’t vocalize his exhaustion. if anything, it kinda looks and feels rly scary when he’s in a bad mood

but pls do note he’s never going to take it out on you :(( ike would kill himself before doing that 

when this happens, the best thing you can do is be yourself and surround him as much as you can:3 basically be clingy around ike! 

bcs like i’ve mentioned earlier, ike rly likes being around you and savors in your presence, so on a bad day, he rly doesn’t want anything else than to be by your side to wash all the stress away

he doesn’t want to say it out loud bcs hes super scared that hes just bothering you so most days, he keeps quiet:(

in conclusion, ike is just super soft and sometimes a total bully hahshs but do know he loves you so very much and pours his heart out throughout his work~

Shu “Wigglecore” Yamino 🔮✨

shu is so chill as a boyfriend BET

if ya ain’t looking for anything too soft, hyper or downright ddlg vox

shu is the way to go:)

no but seriously, my heart lowkey just rly wants shu to be my boyfie:(

nO SIMPING OMG

anyway

nicknames: babe, baby, darling (uses this sparingly), cutie

he’s the type of boyfriend to just chill with you on a normal day, literally be in the same room as you and sends you a meme without actually showing it to you

shu likes pinching your cheeks by the way, HE JUST WANTS TO NOM NOM

“babe can i bite you?”

“what the fuck, shu”

“no no actually, can i? you’re just super cute”

haishwidhiwnsj

idk about this but i rly want this to be canon that shu rly likes playing with your hair, likes to braid it, brush it down, detangle it and such

he especially likes doing this with his sorcery ahhhhhh 

you’re doing work and then you’ll find your hair in a very pretty (sparkly?) braid and shu just grinning from the other side of the room

“shu?”

“yessss, darling?”

you’re not rly mad or anything, you just find it fucking adorable

DO THE EXACT SAME TO HIM AND HE’S GONNA LOVE IT SO MUCH

“ohhhh! this is called a fishtail braid? okay okay got it! i’ll try it on you”

what is with my obsession with shu and hair smh

he just likes touching you that way and hair is sorta like a rly intimate part of the body for someone

shu is lowkey competitive

so when you challenge him to brain games, oh oh it is on

you go head to head with this guy a lot and he makes tons of bets if he won

“if you lose, you’re getting me ramen today.”

“and if you lose?”

“hmmm good question. you decide, babe.”

i think actually beating shu might be a challenge. 

because this man has a very terrible sleep schedule, it’s more than likely he’ll ask for after midnight grocery shopping or runs to mcdonald’s 

after that he’s driving yall to a secluded area and just again, chilling and having rly deep talks about life basically

an actual aesthetic tumblr couple hello??? 

shu is actually melting when you sleep on him.

if you fall asleep on his shoulder or his lap, he’s quick to stop what he’s doing and position you so that you’re more comfortable 

shu will just stare at you and smile, brushing away hairs that may be in your face and kiss you 

“sleep well, baby.”

on bad days, shu is more than willing to be by your side. just like luca, i think he’ll know how to handle things. but unlike luca, he’s very calm and gentle. 

shu will turn off the pc and invite you to the bed for some cuddles. 

he’ll just lay down and pat his lap with a gentle smile.

“come here, babe.”

you collapse and just melt in shu’s arms ❤️‍🩹

he’s brushing your hair back and whispering sweet nothings, his legs wrapped around you

thus i may conclude that shu’s love language is probably physical affection like mysta 

if you’re still crying and haven’t calmed down quite yet, shu will make a little fire show with his sorcery 

and bet it’s gonna be pretty :( 

you’re so distracted by it you just pause and shu loves that sparkle in your eye when you admire something

he might seem the most chill out of all the luxiem members, but he’s very very comfy with you and is not afraid to be himself! he’s willing to try crazy things with you honestly and that’s what makes it so fun to be with you <3

don’t hide what you wanna do, come on, da da da di ba do~

Masterlist!

[beff-jezos]

how bangable are the members of vox machina

(+ a few other PC’s/NPC’s)

bc i’m bored and stressed and talks machina won’t be on i’m taking a page out of @taye-x‘s book and this is all her fault blame her i swear (anyways this totally seems like The Best Idea so let’s goooo)

Vax’ildan oh dear Sarenrae this boy child,,,, you really would expect him to be fucking great at sex?? he’s got this rogue, thief, bad-boy thing going on that you’re pretty sure your parents wouldn’t approve of  and he constantly jokes about how kinky he is but let’s be real?? he’s super emotional and constantly monologuing and if y’all fucked he would probably wax shitty poetic about how the stars aligned for your very coupling and the world tilted on its axis when you came together?? probably ends up crying while y’all are together really good at fixing your hair afterwards though (not that it really got that messed up to be fair) 2/10

Vex’ahlia she will literally rock your world?? probably knows more sex positions than you, is definitely into That Kind Of Stuff, usually a dom but is willing to switch like you would never want anyone else ever again and the life affirming sex is gr8 tbh probably disappears the next day though (taking off points for the daddy issues that she refuses to talk about) 9/10

Keyleth just as bad as vax??? she is clumsy and awkward and doesn’t exactly know where to touch or what to do?? it would be endearing but like she’s just so unlucky and uncoordinated that she would probably end up breaking something of yours also the dirty talk is nonexistent and she will definitely end up talking about a tree that she went through one time and how it was the most amazing experience because she talked to the tree and he talked back (or will find a lava river to face plant into) 2/10

Pike is actually a monstah like you would never really expect it from the angelic look of her and her gentle touch when she heals you but ooooh buddy she learned Lots of Things™ while she was at sea and she would love to use them on you and that strength is useful for a hell of a Lot of Things™ and all I’m saying is that after everything is said and done she’s probably totally up for cuddles and amazing aftercare 10/10

Grog as much as i would love to hype up grog’s sexual prowess i’m pretty sure that he’s never seen a bath (like for real can we get a crit role stats tracking how many times he’s taken one) and his junk is Nasty he’s probably usually pretty good at the dirty (though that’s debatable bc the only time we’ve had confirmation of him doing the dirty is lady favors akak the real MVPs) but there’s probably still like Silas and Vorugal bits near there -5/10

Percy did you see the way that little self absorbed prick responded when vex showed up at the door naked?? he had probably had sex like once or twice previously bc he was too focused on revenge for his dead family he’s young and inexperienced and honestly a kind of a prick? totally prepped by asking his friends what to do and will probably be done so quickly (on the flip side though if he does eventually get enough practice he is a tinkerer that is really good with his hands so just stick with him he’ll get better in more ways than one eventually) if you’re lucky you might end up having interrupted bath sex and having to hold your breath underwater hiding from your twin brother who is also in the bath and is very naked 4/10

Scanlan what to say about shorthalt on one hand you’ve got the fact that he’s been through most of Tal’Dorei so like he’s gotta be at least somewhat good (nevermind the magic side of that) but he’s been through most of Tal’Dorei so it’s like russian roulette on whether you want whatever magic STD that he most likely has and whether you want to be That Person going into the temple of Sarenrae to get Greater Restoration for it (just make sure to ask him about his mom that was killed by goblins before though just in case) 7/10

Lyra will definitely call you Aldor the entire time 5/10

Kashaw would be hot and great if immediately afterwards you wouldn’t have his evil dark goddess wife coming for you?? 3/10

Zahra around the same as Vex honestly it would be wonderful and there would definitely be some tail stuff and it would probably be one of the best experiences ever in your life but it would probably end up being a casual thing for one time only 9/10

Shaun there are no words needed for this ∞/∞

Allura and Kima let’s be real they’re totally a package deal and also no other words are necessary ∞/∞

Cassandra a bit awkward and nervous but never to the extent of Keyleth not very experienced but super devoted to any task while she’s not that great in bed she makes up for it by being an amazing wonderful human being that deserves so much better than to have to pick up the pieces of Whitestone that is inevitably left behind everytime vox machina feels the need to dash through and listen alright she is struggling like what the nine hells do you want her to do with two aasimar children fucking bahamut percy you’re dead again what do you wANT FROM ME I AM TRYING SO HA- 6/10