#that's done a ton of the heavy lifting tbh. I appreciate this shitty website a lot.
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#this isn't a bedtime spiral. this is me musing about how I've realized the source of the bedtime spirals#and I'm mad. like. imagine if drinking water was a trigger. imagine if waking up in the morning was a trigger#imagine if fucking eating food was a trigger#anyway yeah I now know why I spiral and want to die every night. that's cool I guess.#I wonder if it's gonna be one of those things where once you've thought about it and realized what's up it sorts out on its own#I would like my passive introspection to just... break up my trauma into tiny bits and rinse them down the drain. that would be nice#who needs therapy I can just think about things and scream into the void and then my problems will fix themselves#I say that as if I haven't been consuming mental health self help material on tumblr dot com for the past six years#that's done a ton of the heavy lifting tbh. I appreciate this shitty website a lot.
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