#that was a formative watching experience in some way that i cant describe lol

[suddenrundown]

y’all remember boston rob and amber from survivor what was THAT about

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[dexaroth]

had a dream about a portal gun that allows u to travel back (blue) or forward (orange) in time (very long desc so I'll hide it in the read more thingy)

it started in an entirely new concept of my apartment where everything was new. i had to deal with some weird neighbours that were evicted and looked off to me but this section's highlight was a parrot that i cant for the life of me remember what they did since this part formed like right after i started my deep sleep phase. brain certainly lifted this from the kakapo/green parrot post i rbed but they looked very different in my dream. they were big and had like a black coat of feathers on top and only their belly was green so points for originality i guess

not as interesting so, proceeding. the middle phase was me getting bored/angry of whatever happened there and so i picked up the portal gun (somehow from somewhere, cant tell) and went back to when i was in school (i guess u just think of where u wanna go and it goes there in the past)

in today's version of the dream it was so long after I dreamed about it that i forgot how exactly it worked so I looked at the bottom of iy and the company's name seems to have russian characters, I can't recall what it was called but it was like tyrenyykyy or something with those letters. i didnt have the manual so i went to their website and the most powerful version (which was the one i was using) just cost $250. the company also sells.. clip art for ppl that make candy?

the gun itself has a constant receipt printer that describes the time u are in (like, [cafeteria - right before jonh left]) which i discover later that controls where in the timeline u wanna be in since at that point i just hopped in the past portal once and got to meet one of those human-apes that r our ancestors and double checked the website so thats how i figured why there was a scroll wheel next to the blue and orange portal buttons

AUGH ITS FADING ALLREADY AAAA

ok so i did some shenanigans that tied in with previous dreams i had in the same places (to me thats incredible. it doesnt happen often but when it does i go ecstatic and remember it while im dreaming, its like a half-controllable dream) but the most interesting part was when.. obama was in the school (completely made up im not american, that came from me watching mr. robot and noticing he was there) and i like went to him like hey old man look what i got. and he was impressed and i was trying to say 'i can go back more than 20 years back!' but i forgot how to say it in the form of 'decades' (i still dont know lol) and he laughed in a condescending way bc how stupid i was and tried to take it away so i immediatelly used it and went in the past again and realized how i could use this to stalk an entire person's life which i promptly forgot about and went to try to climb a place where some adults didnt let me go when i was a kid

the most fun in that was feeling like u were a criminal and should be stopped so it got u adrenaline but when i got there nobody gave a shit. didnt even acknowledge me existing there (which in my mind should have been even worse bc i was all grown up and idk, invading a place. it should have been even more interesting then when i was just at recess being watched) so i just layed in there like i died and woke up disappointed lol

alright uh this does not sound even near the fun i had dreaming about it.. fuck. i legit cant remember anything else but to me it was amazing to experience. u could alter the size of the portal too and that affects how far or forward u go and u also just go through a void when ur transitioning like in a way a game would do. it also had no handles just some plastic knobs u were supposed to put ur fingers in between but i remember i had to hold it like a baby bc it was so incvenient. also looked nothing like the og besides being made of white plating and looking like a peanut shell in shape

idk how interesting dream journals are to yall but its been a long time since ive had one of these complex story dreams. ones that u can separate into chapters and you wake up with an ending. i used to see more ppl posting them a while ago but i think that was a google+ thing so eeeehhh

i must be forgetting some very important details bci woke up like 'i gotta tell tumblr about obama. i gotta tell tumblr about obama' and i had just realized some stuff happened before the portal (the appartment part) part so i was like sheesh i lost like 80% of what happened there :[

i guess to me the bulk of the fun was going past and present and seeing which kinds of ppl were there. which kind of events. if i was still recognized as a student (which now that i think of it, i was wearing my uniform the moment i portaled to there.. huh.). none of the people i saw as friends were my irl friends, none of the events that happened there happened irl. it was all a re-use of a previous, already distorted dream i had. same scenario, same actions. i mustve thought this was what made the highlight (obama being there) just that much groudnbreaking lmao. "here's an entire new reimagining of your previous awesome dreams, with a way YOU can control them in whatever way you wish.................. AND, here's obama. bc u saw him appearing in that series. ur welcome" said my brain and i just pogged so hard at that

genuinely love so much when ppl share their dreams. its such an awesome thing to read about, its like trying to figure out how a machine works and then the machine reworks you instead

uh anyways. the dream has already faded out by this point, i usually just go wow!! i dreamt that?? at most after 5 minutes of the dream and then i put it in the back of my mind inside the 'epic dreams i had' catalog. i cant recall anything else interesting so hope this was a somewhat worth read lol

[percedurza]

I HAVE ALREADY SPOKE ON LENGTH ABOUT THE PRINCE OF EGYPT BUT NOT THE WHOLE THING ONLY THE PLAGUES AND MOSTLY PASSOVER. I JUST WATCHED THE FULL MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS A KID IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD. OKAY.

okay let me first say that i was in tears within the first ten minutes of the movie. deliver us was so powerful and heartbreaking i cried BEFORE THE TEN MINUTE MARK. yeah.

when moses' mother sang her final lullaby to her son and pushed him downstream in that (blessed and very fortunate) basket my heart hurt. i cried with her. that was the last time she would ever see her baby.

when his sister sang her prayer for her baby brother, wishing for him to come back to deliver them as well, that just drove the nail in harder.

in a later scene before the banquet you can hear moses humming that last lullaby and since deliver us was just maybe ten minutes prior you remember it and realize he really did keep that final song.

and the banquet oh yeah ramesses gets appointed this big title? and he names moses as the grand architect

and theres this captured hebrew lady brought in for ramesses but shes fierce (i would be too, she was captured and brought to the people she hates the most) and so ramesses orders her to be brought to moses' chambers instead

moses goes to his chambers and suprise! she escaped! moses chases after and sees her sneaking out with her camel and distracts some guards so she wont get caught and once the guards are gone he goes after her again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

miriam (moses' sister) meeting him in the city streets and recognizing him, telling him he's her family and him shutting her down and calling her a slave.... it hurt. when she hums that lullaby and he RECOGNIZES and then rushes back home to have a dream about that day he was sent away (in beautiful animation designed to look like the hieroglyphs on his wall) its all so painful to watch him be forced out of nowhere to realize his life is a LIE because hes not a true prince of egypt, he's born of the slaves, and then his father the pharaoh justifies the order to slaughter innocent babies by saying "they were just slaves" and OUGH

moses kills a man. unintentional but he killed a man while trying to stop him from beating a slave. oops.

he cant live with this so he runs away into the desert. theres this scene where he collapses to the ground and sheds all of the jewelry and adornments from his life as royalty but as he takes off the ring ramesses gives him, he looks at it. and slowly puts it back on. because no matter what, he still loves his brother, and he always will.

moses falls into a well. yeah. chases off some ruffians and then basically faints and falls in. these girls the ruffians were harassing started pulling him out and SURPRISE SURPRISE the captured lady from the banquet is there and she drops him back in when she recognizes him and walks away all smug and her name is tzipporah! just an fyi (very pretty name love it)

moses basically gets adopted into the group of hebrews and moses says something about not ever having done anything of worth and so tzipporah's father jethro sings a little tune to him!

through heavens eyes is a masterpiece. i really dont know what else to say also i want jethro to be my dad hes so nice

aaanyway moses and tzipporah get married during the through heavens eyes montage! i just think thats nice

OKAY now juicy stuff the BURNING BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the scene in which moses encounter the burning bush and god.

god claims that he has seen his people (the hebrew slaves) suffering and cannot stand for it any longer, so he wishes to send moses as a sort of ambassador of god

and moses doesnt think hes worthy of being god's messenger, which god quickly shuts up by pointing out how he's kind of, like, GOD

and he teaches moses those big old words, "LET MY PEOPLE GO" wahoo!!!!!!

he rushes home to tell tzipporah, and shes like "but ur just one dude" and hes like "well i kinda have to also the hebrews are suffering in slavery so :////"

tzipporah and moses head on over to meet ramesses and theyre all excited to see each other and then moses is like "behold the power of god!!!!!!" and his staff becomes a snake. pretty gnarly if i do say so myself

and then the high priests are like "ok" and start basically performing and rapping the names of the egyptian gods at moses in response i really dont know how to describe it but its basically a whole lotta smoke and mirrors. not actual miracles

moses talks to ramesses and asks him to let his people go, and instead doubles the slave's workload. the slaves basically hate moses now because yeah he technically is the reason theyre getting pushed harder and even his own brother aaron seems to loathe him. miriam talks to moses and he sees ramesses' ship gliding down the nile nearby

he calls out to ramesses and he just sends his guards after him. and so moses brings the staff down and turns the river to blood.

THEN THE REST OF THE PLAGUES ENSUE!!!

theres this specific part of the plagues scene in which ramesses stands between two statues of egyptian gods and glances at them as if to ask why the fuck arent they doing anything about the LITERAL hellfire and general havoc being brought down on the city. just thought that was a really cool detail.

AND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH passover. i really shouldnt get excited about talking about an event that killed a whole heck ton of kids but its like fnaf at this point who cares ANYWAY THE DEAD KIDS

i already talked about the passover scene but what i didnt include (i think) is how when god's spirit or whatever idk enters the palace, it passes over a statue of ramesses and you just think, oh fuck wait RAMESSES HAD A SON.

and sure enough, that son is dead. moses walks in as ramesses pulls a sheet over his sons dead body and ramesses finally, after all of the plagues, tells moses he can take the hebrews and leave.

as moses walks away you can see ramesses glare at moses because he may have said he was done but. hes not. of course.

moses and the hebrews are leaving with yet another beautiful musical sequence (when you believe) and you can see the hordes of former slaves walking to the sea.

AAND just like i said RAMESSES WASNT FINISHED! he brings a whole bunch of soldiers on horseback and chases the hebrews, and god literally rains fire on them again this time in the form of a flaming tornado that sweeps across the sand, making a big old wall of fire that the egyptian soldiers cant get through

which gives moses the time to do the famous parting of the sea. he brings that staff down in the water and DOES GODS WONDERS!!! yay!!!

watching them walk on the seabed was beautiful. with some lightning strikes you could see the silhouette of some kind of shark swimming in the water (looked it up there are sometimes whale sharks in the red sea this is accurate)

and the fire tornado recedes into the earth, the fire fades, the soldiers chase on at ramesses' orders. the water sweeps them away just as the hebrews make it to the other side and it later cuts back to ramesses, alone on the rocky shore, screaming out at moses. hes completely alone, soldiers presumably dead, and no family to speak of. his side of the sea is cloudy and gloomy, still stormy, but when it jumps back to the hebrews in celebration, the sun shines bright and happy. the hebrews are free.

the movie ends with moses walking down the mountain sinai, ten commandments in hand, while the last snippet of deliver us plays once again.

only one other movie has evoked this much of this kind of emotion in me.(the one movie is klaus LMAO klaus made me ugly cry) there was not a single second of watching this that i didnt have goosebumps.

the movie itself just looks pretty. all of the characters have unique and neat designs. (its also nice to see a movie with only poc in it like im just saying)

the musical scores and numbers are so expertly made. my favorite has to be deliver us but through heavens eyes is a very close second. through heavens eyes made me feel better about myself, in a way. the entire movie was like some healing experience.

all in all, this is an S tier movie, and i BEG BEG BEG anyone who hasn't seen it to watch it. just pirate it or something (i did lol watched it on an illegal streaming site)

if you're not religious and havent seen it, think of it as a chance to learn more about abrahamic faiths. if you are religious and havent seen it, well hey! here you go!!

[gabrielitas]

phew it's good to know i'm boy the only one super behind lmao

alright answering questions and asking some more because i have a funny little group of questions that mean nothing but i like to ask

alright so i do bias soonyoung 🙄🙄 didn't think you'd guess so early. i also like seokmin and minghao 🥴🤤 aLSO, WHY HAS SEUNGCHEOL BEEN LOOKING SO CUTE RECENTLY I CANT HANDLE 😩😩

outside of kpop i may or may not have had an emo phase (read: fall out boy, panic!at the disco, my chemical romance). i may or may not still listen emo music. i also LOVE CONAN GRAYYY. idk if he's still indie but i love indie too! probably one of my favorite genres though is classical (instrumental if you wanna get technical 🙄 been yelled at bc cLaSsiCaL iS a TiMe PeRiOd)

the best of us had emo phases ☝️ mine is a little longer lasting three years in middle school. due to this, fall out boy is one of my favorite artists! i’m also a big tchaikovsky fan, and i like doja cat a lot too!

in response to your question about 1518 strasbourg, this is when and where the dancing plague of 1518 happened dnsbsbshja. it's where the phrase "dance till you die" originated lmao. i think it'd be funny to witness this/take part in it. aside from that, id probably fuck with california in 1849 because the gold rush🧎‍♀️, france in the 1880s, or america in the 1980/1990s! i’m a history nerd courtesy of my father, so i choose all my time periods based off some of my favorite historical events! 1880s for architecture mostly, gold rush because lawlessness and the "wild west", and the 80s for the cold war :)

the night is beautiful if you take the time to live it. for me, my favorite time across the board is lunch time-12:00 ish to 3:00 just because the sun is highest and i feel happiest! i like the night when i go out on bike rides because i feel alive/ like i’m not wasting my teen years

GIRL IM NORTHEAST US TOO DJNSBSBSVABWB #goals lmao

i have 1 sister and she's super annoying🙄 i also have 2 cats and a dog (i consider them my siblings)

the most recent show i binged and finished was criminal minds, and i tried supernatural but it's just so bad i cant get past season 11. i’m working on hannibal right now!

the last book i really enjoyed was the summer i turned pretty! i’m a sucker for romance books 😩

questions i've got:

- do you have any siblings or pets?

- do you play any instruments?

- what's your favorite font?

- how many pillows and stuffed animals do you sleep with? (i have too many to count)

- would you rather live in an urban, suburban, or rural setting?

I FRIKIN KNEW U BIASED SOONYOUNG UR VIBES R SO HORANGHE I COULD JUST TELL and i gotta say ur the second person who’s had both minghao and soonyoung on ur bias list and i just find that so funny cuz they’re polar opposites to me (also u have impeccable taste with minghao that boy is my ult and has my whole heart) AND OMG RIGHT??? seungcheol needs to *CHILL*😤

omg yes conan gray😫 this is gonna sound whiny but heather was one of my favorite songs of his before it became a tiktok trend💅

and yes the best of us *did* have emo phases, mine lasted from late 8th grade into the first half of freshman year, so it was kinda short lived but it still happened lol

also, seeing tchaikovsky and doja cat next to each other in a sentence is so funny (but in a weird way i get it lol) i’m not the *biggest* classical/instrumental fan, but i have def used it as study music when songs with lyrics r just too distracting. back to doja tho!! have u listened to her new album?? do u have a fav song off of it? (i haven’t listened to all of it but i do have a couple that i rlly like)

omg how did i not recognize that u were talking abt the dancing plague!!!!!🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ idk if u watch buzzfeed unsolved or watcher but they have a series called puppet history and the episode on the dancing plague is one of my favorites! also omg yes another history nerd who knows abt history b/c of her dad!!!! i’m prob most knowledgeable abt wwii, the civil rights movement in the us, and the spanish civil war cuz those r my dads main interests and i was sat down in front of documentaries abt those topics at the age of like, 3 lol. and wanting to experience the wild west is such a perfect and iconic era to want to live in, and wanting to experience the cold war is so funny (b/c i’m sure the ppl who were living it without knowing the ending like us felt the exact opposite lol)

and yes the night is so beautiful when u just give it ur attention. like, on my birthday it was raining and i didn’t have school the next day (and my birthdays i’m may so it was pretty warm) so i just went outside at like, midnight ish and listened to the rain and crocheted and it was truly so nice 😫 also omg last year when covid had us all at home i went for a bike ride almost every day after school to just get out of my room and it was so nice!! it was my bike from when i was like, 12 but i’m 4’11 so i was still able to ride it without a problem lsnsksns

and yes pets r absolutely siblings, my cat prob acts more like s typical sibling than my two younger siblings do lsnsksns (srsly tho my cat is an asshole she fucked up my leg the other day cuz i gave her food late smh)

omg hun season 11?? how many seasons of that goddamn show r there??? i couldn’t get past episode 1😭 (i rlly only started watching it b/c of dean from gilmore girls sksnksns) the show i’m currently bingeing rn tho is downton abbey, as i’m sure u can tell from how much downton shit u had to scroll past to find my answer to ur last ask alskkskjsjs (i’m so so sorry 😭)

ooo that sounds like a rlly good book title, what was it abt? i just finished a secret history (which FUCKED ME UP MY GOD THERES A LOT OF MURDER) and i’m currently working on the sequel to my name is asher lev by chaim potok (who is one of my fav jewish/classic literature authors and also just a rlly good author in general)

for ur questions:

-yes i do have siblings! two younger (one four and a half years younger and one a little over nine years younger than me so i’m the oldest by quite a bit lol) and i do have a pet! my cat sweetie who is an asshole who i love very much

-i took piano for like a year in second grade but then third grade happened and i was rlly bad at math so my parents switched from paying for piano lessons to paying for math tutoring lessons and i now remember literally nothing from piano lessons sksnksns

-i,,, dont think i have a favorite font? i do like to write in cursive and have a collection of calligraphy pens that i bust out on special occasions so there’s that i guess lol

-ok i have two normal pillows, one chair/armrest/pillow thing (idk if that makes sense but that’s the only way i know how to describe it sksnksns), a body pillow, and a single stuffed bear that live on my bed

-ooo so this is difficult for me cuz i technically live in a suburb but we’re *right next* to a major city in my state (like i’m a 20ish min car ride from my states baseball stadium and a 20 min walk to the college of the major city) so this has kinda made me rlly like both? like, i like the quiet of the suburbs but i cant handle not being able to walk to the closest boba shop or movie theatre or bookshop but i also don’t rlly love the noise and lights that there are in the city at night. so idk sksnksns

what do u like more tho? the city or the suburbs? also since u asked the question i’m assuming u have a fav form and i’m now rlly interested in finding out what it is lol

goodnight!❤️ (or good morning if ur seeing this in the morning since i’m answering this at midnight lol)

[usertoxicyaoi]

FAIZA I'M SCREAMING THEY HAVE THE BOOKS!!

- BIS! BRIGHTS STORY OMG HOW R U FEELING!? IM SCREAMING

- THE BOOK!

- FANBOOK BRIGHT IG OMGMGGJNGJGJAAJSAKDJSKF!!!!!!

- Faiza! Please check Bright's latest ig story!!

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS STORY! I collapsed seeing ur book on his story, u really did that queeen 💅🏽

- JAJSJDHFGH OMG FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS

- Holy shit faiza! Check Instagram ASAP! Bright got the book. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

- FAIZA IM SCREAMIND I JUST SAW BRIGHTS IG STORY AND DJSNSKSNS

- Fcfykjwwejbfrh QUEEN! check Bright story

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED THE BOOK!

- Hiiiii bright just posted a picture of the book you made!!!

- AHHHHHH FAIZA I JUST SAW BRIGHT’S INSTA STORY!! He got the bookkkkkkk❤️❤️(I hope I’m correct that it is the book)!! I’m so happy for you all and thank you for all the hard work you and everyone else put on this project!! Bright and win deserve all the love

- FAIZA BRIGHT JUST POSTED THE BOOK ON HIS STORY THEY GOT THE THINGS

- OMG! Faiza! Bright got the fanbook! I didn't even contribute to it yet it made me so glad to see that he received it! So happy for you and every one who put a bit of their heart into that book.

- FAIZA !!!! THE BOOKS !!! I saw Bright’s story and camr running!!!! Is this what you were being cryptic about tho 👀 ONG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

- FAIZAAAAA!!!! go check Bright's instagram stories RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! 😭

- IM SURE YOU'LL GET A MILLION MESSAGES FOR THIS BUT BRIGHT POSTED A STORY WITH THE FANBOOK 😭😭♥️

- BRIGHT HAS THE BOOK! WIN PROBABLY DOES TOO! THEY RECEIVED THE LOVE 🥺

- Faiza I don't know if you've seen yet but I think Bright got the fanbook! He put something in his Insa stories about an hour ago.

- omg the book is in his ig story! 🤍

- it looks like brightwin got your books! they look lovely, thank you and best wishes to u!

- Hi faiza did u happen to see bright’s latest insta story👀👀👀 because I think u should!!

- omg it happened

- FAIZA, THEY GOT YOUR BOOKS!!!!

- FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS !!!!

- MISS FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS -1ovebound

- OMG FAIZAAAAAA!!! THEY GOT THE BOOKS!! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS INSTA STORY OMGGGGGG

- Faiza they got the book look bright igs

- faiza!!!! faiza!!!!!!!!! FAIZA!!!!!!!!

- good morning my dear, i know it's 6am there and you probably have thousands of messages in your inbox but i want to reiterate: thank you so much for organising this. you have put your life and soul and heart into this and being able to see it in their hands is overwhelming enough for the rest of us, but even more tremendous for you. i just wanted to make my appreciation and love for you known again, this was such an amazing and kind undertaking and i know we all appreciate it. thank you, ily!

- so busy these days... BUT NEVER NOT PROUD OMGG SO PROUD, FAIZAAAA! LOOK AT BRIGHT'S INSTA OMGG YOU DESERVE IT SM! ILY ❤️

- FAIZAAA!!! OMG THANK FOR DOING THIS PROJECT I AM SURE BRIGHT AND WIN HAVE THE BIGGEST SMILES ON THEIR FACES RIGHT NOW I AM ACTUALLY CRYING *SOBS*

- im on the verge of tears on your behalf seeing bright's story.... i am so happy for you :(((( also i know this is gonna blow up on twitter you're a celebrity now

- The law of equivalent exchange. Brightwin get the books however you get twitter people coming into your anons

- let them link u Faiza! U deserve the praise 🥳💕

- I didn't write anything for the book cuz I'm really bad at writing this kind of things (I never know what to write even if I have so much to say, and writing this is causing me stress) but I'm really happy that they received something so special, done entirely because you and many people love them. Anyways, thanks for coming with this project to make them know how much they're loved❤️ you're such a good person.

- FAIZA!! i saw brights ig story and immediately rushed here! so happy for them and for you, i know they will love it so much

- I see the tweets about u in my timeline!! I feel like a proud friend even though I’m just an anon! I’m like “I KNOW HER! I LIKE HER CONTENT ALL THE TIME!” 🤣

- Seeing ppl not know about the fan project is kinda hilarious and strange lol, the tumblr community feels so tight knit so it’s like unexpected! You and Rahul are like our leaders 🤍

- I'm really happy for you!!! ❤❤❤ you did such a good job and the books got there safely *throws all the hearts*

- SO HAPPY FOR YOU❤️

- Hi, Faiza! Tysm for putting together the project idk if I actually got my letter on time but regardless seeing in bright's ig made me feel like floating, he has the words of people who love him and his work on his hands, and he gets to cherish that forever. 👌🏽💕 Tysm

- faiza u really r the beating heart of this fandom. i love u so much thank u for existing

- Hi Faiza!! i just saw bright’s ig story and seeing him hold the book is making me so emotional i can’t even form words right now but i just wanted to tell u THANK U. this wouldn’t have happened without u. ur so .. ur such a .. AAAAAAAAA I DONT HAVE A GOOD ENOUGH WORD TO DESCRIBE U !!! JUST !!! pls know my love, respect and gratitude for u is endless !!!! thank u so much for everything that u do !!! ❤️❤️

- The way that I got like super emotional when I saw Bright’s post with the book and then my first though was I wonder how Faiza feels rn. I can’t stop smiling, I’m so happy that I participated on the books! Thank you again 💕

HELLOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!

oh wow thats. yeah. yall really are the absolute GREATEST people. i was up until 1am last night thinking and stressing out over when the boys would get the books. and amidst that stress, i fell asleep???

and i woke up at 6am to go watch wyel but i thought ill come on here first .... and i got FLOODED with messages!!! so to answer that one anon, yes, THIS is what i was being cryptic about!!

and i still cant bring myself to go and physically see brights ig story yet. im too too nervous to do that hsjhd but yall have sent me screenshots, so thank you sm sm sm for it!!!!

i hope win can post something soon too, so i know he's got his aswell and put my mind at ease!!

but urm. yeah. its been a Wild 2 months making this. thank you EVERYONE for contributing and providing so much support and motivation. it truly goes to show the power we can have as people when we come together for a good cause! and they have a piece of you now! to cherish and hold!!! and read and gain strength from! as i said, we sowed the seeds, and here are the fruits of our labour!! and im so happy i could be a messenger in some way to carry all those words of affection yall have and your own personal stories and experiences and hand them over to them. thank you all for trusting me to do so. i was so scared bc i didnt wanna let you guys down!

i love you all SO SO much!!! yall are truly the greatest friends!! 🧡🧡🧡

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 35

ooooh baby functionist universe time

the cover with the neon ‘everything is fine’ sign is rlly good but also the pile of dead data stick bots makes me so sad omg noooo they're so cute leave them alone :( 

minimus and rewind...! its so cool seeing them interact

also I just love the crowd shot, and you can immediately see that there are a ton of data stick bots like rewind around - which isn't what we’re used to at all

also some good ole totalitarian govt stuff like the ‘you are our eyes’ sign (which, in retrospect, is fucking evil damnnnn)

also I'm so [eyezoom] on this functionist universe stuff bc like, this is basically the only time we ever see dominus be a character (rather than hearing abt him thru other characters), and even so he remains pretty ambiguous 

like, minimus clearly isn't thrilled that dominus didn't show up to see him at the space airport or w/e when they've been apart for two million years - and even tho we later see why he didn't show up, it still shows that there's some tension there

the amount of crowd shots in this issue is insane 

oooof, the fact that they sold luna 2 - and to the black box consortia, who we just heard about last chapter when they previously got into a space battle w/the galactic council and the djd

fu!minimus being part of the primal vanguard is interesting, I wanna see more about that. what was he doing w/them for 2 million years?

rewind just casually saying this completely fucked stuff, like that the govt ‘outlawed the intellectual class’ and ‘deported the knock-offs’ (which I'm assuming is cold constructed bots?)

I really like the sense we get thru minimus and rewind’s convo that all of this fucked up stuff has happened slowly enough that its become almost normal - like, they talk about it casually, even though its clear they don't necessarily agree with any of it 

plus the sense of ‘even if things get really bad ill be okay’ that both rewind and minimus seem to adhere to - rewind having been upgraded from being in the disposable class due to his connection w/dominus, and minimus saying ‘I like to think that obsolescence is something that happens to other people’ 

I love all the fucked up signage this issue. ‘take pride in being a means to an end,’ yikes

god and the fact that there isn't MORE data sticks, there's just LESS of other alt modes bc of how many alt modes the govt has wiped out completely...

oof, and continuing the whole ‘slow change’ thing - minimus saying that ‘the council never touches the astro class,’ and maybe that used to be true, but the govt will keep pushing that line, clearly...

and we get to see minimus’s alt mode! altho we the readers know that this isn't minimus’s true form...

‘amazing, the lengths some people will go to cross class boundaries,’ minimus says, as if he isn't doing exactly what rewinds describing, but even moreso as a loadbearer wearing an entire suit of armor

and then the casual public execution of the last lunabot...oof.

love the ‘cybertron. the present day’ text overlay...I was so confused about this when I first read it lmao. I figured it had to be some sort of au/quantum nonsense but STILL

back on the lost light, chromedome is going full kool-aid man on rewinds door

mannnnn I absolutely love the plotline of rewind 2 and chromedome 1...im so glad the story acknowledges that they ARE different, they did experience different stuff on their own lost lights, and rewind 2 being a quantum duplicate doesn't mean he had the same experiences as rewind 1...

and I love so much that chromedome just Doesn't Get It, bc of course he wouldn't - he’s too relieved that rewind is back to even consider that its not quite the same, that the rewind he was forced to blow up is still dead (which is a fucked up thought, so of course chromedome, the master of pushing the past away and moving right along, would want to avoid thinking about that in favor of continuing his relationship w/rewind 2)

it also makes a lot of sense that rewind, who records everything and puts a huge emphasis on history/the past, would be hyperaware of all the differences between him and rewind 1, and his chromedome and this chromedome

AUGHHHH and chromedome referring to an offer he made to rewind that was pretty clearly ‘if your memories of the djd slaughter are too much, I can remove them for you’ ooooof...I love these two so much, like...their absolute opposite approaches to trauma is fascinating

oooh mannnnn and then rewind starts ‘remembering’ stuff from the functionist universe...the plot thickens...!

I really like how one of the main ‘things’ in a lot of tf universes is energon/energy shortages, its interesting when the angle is kinda like, ‘energon is a finite resource and the methods to obtain more often involve destroying other planets,’ that's a pretty unique, alien problem for the tfs to have

it also makes sense that the functionists would form partially in response to that (perceived) shortage, and any sort of scarcity would push them further into their extremist views

I like how expressive the characters with visors are...its cute...

poor rewind has to go thru So Much

WHY can just anyone go into the morgue and touch the dead bodies. I mean I guess megatron being one of the captains explains why he’s in there, but that still shouldn't be allowed 

‘megatron mountain’ vhbjdkshfbjskfbhhk that's so fucking funnyyyyy I love rodimus....I quote that line a lot, especially when watching g1 lmao

the fact that swerve diluting his engex bc he’s a cheapskate saved everyone's s lives is amazing lmao

also like...damn brainstorm sure tried to murder Literally Everyone huh. like I guess the logic would be that if he succeeded in changing the past it wouldn't matter that they had died there cause the timeline wouldn't exist, but STILL. I guess that shows how confident brainstorm was in his plan

it makes so much sense somehow that rung doesn't drink. and we’ve seen firsthand why magnus doesn't lol

mannnn that panel of brainstorm shooting magnus with some wacky beam and causing the magnus armor to fall off in vehicle mode...Super Cool, just peak mad scientist vibes there

ok but if minimus switches to alt mode when ultra magnus does - as we see here, where minesweeper-minimus is inside big-ole-car-magnus - does that mean that inside the minesweeper is turbofox-minimus?? I want to seeeee

ghsdufjkbvksadfbhjs the panels of rodimus telling megatron that brainstorm time travelled are so fucking funny

and megatrons rant about how absolutely bonkers the lost light is....hvbhjdskfbasjh that's so funny oh my god. like yeah dude you're right and you gotta roll w/it sorry 

'on this ship, a minor breakdown is practically a rite of passage’ vbjdsnfbkasdfn its true and I love it

goddddddd it kills me how at this point in the story its So Obvious to everyone that brainstorm travelled back in time to do evil decepticon double agent stuff - and we as the reader can even buy that bc brainstorm has been so sketchy until now, and nothing he’s done contradicts what rodimus suggests - but it turns out in the end, it was all just for love. AUGHHHHHHHH its about the LOVE!!!! that's why I love this arc so much.

back in the functionist universe - god I cant believe rewind waited until Now to reveal to minimus that dominus has a tv face...like I get that that's a difficult topic to bring up in conversation but like, a little sooner might've been good hbvhjkdhnfbjaksl

oh man it hurts...rewind saying that they're in a ‘blind spot...’ oh man :(

rebel rewind, tho!! I love it sm

oh man and rewind never even broke the news about dominus to minimus oof. that's a tough reveal 

MANNN I really like the whole ‘flathead’ thing, its so awful and brutal. its such a logical extension of empurata, and as dominus says, once people get used to seeing empurata’d bots, it loses its punch...and the flatheads thing is even more invasive 

and writing wise, both empurata and the tv-heads are such good devices to show evil govt bs. I talk abt it a lot but I like all the ways jro gets creative with the ‘alien robots’ thing; a lot of these concepts wouldn't work at all with humans or other organic aliens

GODDD and dominus’s chilling speech being interrupted by the functionist propaganda....fucking horrifying I love it

also seeing dominus here is fascinating - clearly the council managed to pin him down enough to turn him into a flathead, but they never discovered his true alt mode...same with minimus, actually 

the cog is so fucking ominous. just floating there...

and the council is scary too! their names, and the fact that they all look the same...seems about right for an evil alien governing body

mannnnnnn and then the reveal that the data slug alt-modes will be ‘recalled’ next...rewind noooooo...and the one council guy even admitted that they still served some purpose in society, BUT that their ability to mass store data made them dangerous to the goverment...evil!!

meanwhile, rodimus doesn't know enough about science to be appropriately frightened about their timeline being wiped from existence, so he’s having a grand ole time

‘no one’s nodding, perceptor’ bvhjdbfasdfhbk their expressions....the lost light command crew are all clearly team ‘leave the science to the scientists’ lmao

I do love the paradox stuff, and brainstorm’s way around it all 

‘so I'm not allowed to take an interest in magic?’ hvbjhsdkfbjhkdf ily sm rodimus

but also like....rodimus suggests a parallel universe could've formed and perceptor is like ‘no way, that's not scientifically possible,’ as if brainstorm didn't basically defy science by time travelling at all...and more to the point, functionist cybertron DID get created, so rodimus was actually RIGHT this time

love that we’re already seeing perceptor’s admiration for brainstorm and his invention even here....sapiosexual mfer

a time travel chase....so beautiful...I love sci-fi so much

seriously time travel is one of my favorite tropes ever, this arc was inevitably gonna be my fav 

‘he’s going to kill orion pax.’ DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

meanwhile, on functionist cybertron...aw, is that bulkhead? great cameo! oh wait what's going on with all the data sticks...? uh oh!

the fact that their heads just EXPLODE....soooo fucked!! 

god and then the council picks up their dead bodies, for...probably something evil, I’d assume

god and then dominus got even more fucked....

‘there are certain words you cant afford to lose’ ;_; REWIND....GODDD IM SAD 

GOD GOD GOD the reveal that minimus has CAMERAS in his EYES GODDDDDDDDDDDD that's so FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and rewinds reaction...ME TOO BITCH TF!!!!!!

all the ‘you are our eyes’ messages are even worse now huh!!

they did it while minimus was asleep...that's so fuckedddd

FUCKKKK and then rewind’s impassioned rebel speech, which I adore.....rewind ily sm...he’s such a good revolutionary, I wish we could've seen him leading an anti-funtionist rebellion....BUT THEN ‘oh? what about the back up?’ and its just like HHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then his head starts smoking and we see another billboard, but this time it says ‘WE are your eyes’ - is the implication that everyone is now a surveilling spy, whether they like it or now, so now it’s ‘we?’ like, we’re all in it together, spying on each other! ooooof

also. this is like the third time rewind has died on-screen in this series lmao (well, if you count the fake-out death where he thought he’d be cancelled out during slaughterhouse)...he ALMOST died in issue 12 too....poor rewind

‘the custom-made now’ is such a great title. jro always killin it w/the titles

plus ‘elegant chaos’ is such a cool arc name. fucking epic 

M A N NNNNNNNN THIS ISSUE WAS BALLER...this ARC is baller....I talked a lot hvbhdjkhfndsak lmao but there's so much to talk abt!!! I love the look into the functionist universe, I love seeing alternate versions of characters and settings so much, and I love time travel, so this issue is basically made for me

plus I fuckign love alien robot politics and seeing the absolute control the govt has over cybertronian society in the functionist universe is fascinating - plus from a storytelling standpoint, I think it was brilliant to show the ‘other side,’ aka what things would've been like without the war...which is something ill talk about later when its more directly addressed in the story but man do I enjoy that 

basically I love this arccccc I cant wait to read more hhhhhhh

[tumblunni]

MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

[nightfallsystem]

omg im gonna tag myself!! i dont have did but as op said they use did and plural interchangabley for some reason?? so in this context yea

➖ 1 - a lot of my content isss about plurality but a lot of it is abt our interest so were in the middle :3

✅ 2 - myeahhh we have protectors tho and a trauma breaker but no holders. its an easy way 2 define our headmates so

➖ 3 - most of us are queer but some of us are literally just animals that r uhhh not that intelligent?? so they cant even have sexualities bc they r just animals and sitting there. also some dont define their sexuality

❌ 4 - we used to have dyed hair and want 2 dye our hair soon!! :3

✅ 5 - we have short hair bc 1) makes us pass better and it kind of hangs over our eyes but only bc it hasnt been cut in a bit-

✅ 6 - myea bc we have autism and we hyperfixated on omori for a while so we got a lot of omori fictives. also bc we watch a lot of fictional media and its eazy to get fictives 4 us.

✅ 7 - well yea bc i dont like it?? its like saying 'stop insulting me' i just dont like it lol.

✅ 8 - easy way to tell whos who and its our pluralkit proxies

✅ 9 - uhhh we get called emo as an insult does that count?

❌ 10 - i dont wear makeup in general

✅ 11 - im a little dude :3 so yea

➖ 12 - uhhh we dont make 'povs' and rarely describe interactions in headspace or at all

✅ 13 - yeah :3 carrd is a fun n easy way to put ur info down n make it easier to get ppl to know u + to get ppl to stay away n know ur boudaries. i use discord bc my friends r on there and i am terminally online lmfao. also fun way to connect n talk to people like me :3

✅ 14 - i talk abt being plural a lot because idk sharing a head with 18 different people is an interesting experience and does affect my life so why not talk abt it

❌ 15 - i dont need 2 get diagnosed w/ did bc no symptoms

➖ 16 - shit uhh im kind of getting one almost :< i dont control it?? i type funny bc im a funny litle guy!! lotz of abbreviations n shit n sometimes i now use z instead of s???? idk if its a typing quirk- also no others have typing quirks.

�� 17 - none of them

✅ 18 - shit imagine saying "over aggressiveness towards mean people" shit if ur gonna tell me im fake then im gonna be mean?? l + ratio + dude i have headmates (Eg - me) who formed bc of fakeclaiming and to protect the sys from it ill be an ass if youre an ass lol.

❌ 19 - sys accountability if someones being a fuckin ass then i stop them n make them not front until they r like normal and not mean to everyone

❌ 20 - i dont record myself irl

✅ 21 - yeah :3 1/3rd endo sys 2/3rds traumagenic

overall like 4 ➖, 6 ❌ , and 11 ✅! so like half n half 11/21 :3

idk this is fun lol

Tw // Fakeclaiming

Saw this and saw some other systems answering so we want to too! (Note, we don't have DID, but in the case of Sysmeds they interchangeably use DID and System as the same thing)

❌ we post about our interests a lot.

✅ They describe our system members' roles easily, so why not?

❌ We have a few cishet people, and I think only a couple use neopronouns.

❌ We have never dyed our hair.

❌ Our hair is just past our shoulders and we have a regular middle part, our fringe just frames our face a lil.

✅ We get new Headmates often in times of stress, and if we have a character who brings us great comfort, why wouldn't we introject them?

❌ We've actually never been fakeclaimed. We've been posted on r/systemscringe twice I believe, but one was because of an inside joke that the poster took seriously, and I honestly can't remember the other one 💀. Not once did they say we were fake. One person did comment "out of all the star wars characters why introject Ezra Bridger" which was. Something.

➖ We do if we're talking about system experiences. We often forget on here. While talking to people on discord we often use pk. It's so people know what they can and can't talk about i.e Don't talk Abt Belos around Hunter, Don't talk about the Kraang around me(Leon) etc. Also I'd like to sign off because I use they/he and hate She Pronouns, whereas some people use He/She and hate They pronouns.

❌ I don't think so? Most of us are super outgoing. The most "edgy" I can think of is Hunter but he's just traumatised.

❌ Never worn eyeliner

✅ Yeah? We are under 18. Minors can be systems!

➖ We don't talk about how we interact a lot. We have a couple times but we don't see any point.

➖ Don't a lot of people use discord? Also no! We have a carrd but we prefer Rentry.

❌ We talk about being plural a lot because it's a massive part of who we are but sometimes we just wanna talk about tmnt or the owl house or star wars.

❌ We don't want to be diagnosed with DID, because we do not have it.

❌ Typing quirks are difficult for us to read and understand, why would we do that to ourselves? Yuno types in italics but only because he likes how it looks, and Evelyn puts ᓚᘏᗢ before her messages because she likes cats.

❌ We don't have any of them. Our most introjected media currently is Rottmnt.

❌ We'd be happy to educate them and if they started getting aggressive we would simply block them.

❌ Headmates who are aggressive and/or would cause distress to other people do not interact on social media, and we strongly believe in system responsibility.

❌ We don't record ourselves ever, and our switches are very small and unnoticeable.

➖ We are Praesigenic. We will not say if we are Traumagenic or Endogenic, although we do completely support Endo Systems.

Overall we relate to only 3 of these things.

Note: Even if you relate to all of these things, or none of these things, that does not mean you are faking. Plurality is different for everyone and as long as you say you are a system, you are a system. <3

[irlheart]

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

- a date in general!!!!! i dunno lol like going somewhere like the fair or smn and then sleeping back at one of our houses

2. whats your “type”

- mm i love when ppl have freckles and wear earrings or jewelry in general and have painted nails and when ppl are really dressed down and i love love curly hair ehe

3. do you want kids/4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

- if my spouse wants to also id wanna adopt but i dont wanna pass on genes in any way no

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

- ive never dated anyone :~(

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

- see above

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

- night

8. opinion on nap dates?

- best dates! god tier!

9. opinion on brown eyes?

- i have em so im a little biased to not like them but i love them on others

10. dog gay or cat gay?

- cat

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

- i love snakes and lizards and frogs but i LOVE snakes.....about rodents though the concept is Good so tldr Yes but i dont know if id want rodents myself

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

- weirdly bigoted onions.....like if someone is genuinely just uneducated about certain things but willing 2 learn thats a okay but when people are just really Purposefully closeminded and unwilling thats a no no!!

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

- that we were dirty and abnormal

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

- its okay to be a faggot

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

- for girls i LOVE LOVE LOVE bangs....for boys i love when theyre taller than me and i tend to stray towards jock/preps bc im goth/nerd ehehe

16. who is an ex you regret?

- n/a wkdbdjdhdg

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

- cafe i think

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

- kim dahyun my irl wife

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

- MOVIE GAY FOR SURE

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

- uhhh me and any boy . ever

21. favourite gay youtuber

- idk i dont have one bc i really dont watch youtube

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

- pre transition me asked out a boy who used to have a thing for me but after doing so i realized he didnt have feelings for me anymore so like, no i knew he was straight but he didnt know i wasnt

23. have you ever been in love?

- im in luv right now

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

- see above

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

- is my jealousy derived from the fact that i want people to compliment me for being that person or the fact that i cant compliment them

26. favourite lgb musician/band

- KEVIN ABSTRACT!!!! tyler the creator is second though :•)

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

- dont come out until youre really really sure and aware of your identity/how others will react :~( its for your safety and your future self’s benefit

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

- uh huh!!!! i came out earlier this year w the help of my therapist but everyone calls me (twelve) except my family who still calls me by my birthname

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

- i came out to one of my best friends and immediately after she cut me off

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

- one and two years ago almost exactly i thought coming out was a pipe dream, i thought i would never come to terms with who i am, i thought no one would ever love me, i thought no one would ever call me by my name, i thought i would never look like who i want—my journey is only half started, im not on T and i havent found love yet, but no matter how it feels at this moment you have to remember that nothing in this world is permanent, no feeling, no experience, no situation will last forever, you just have to allow time to pass and heal

[rifthowl-blog]

really  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.   RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  !good  luck  !   TAGGED.  @deusuprema​ domo my dude   TAGGING.   @shieldgraced @divinebred @erkiengill @stormfated @godkilller & whoever wants to do it.

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   coyote starrk NICKNAME :   none AGE :   unknown  ( early thirties physically ) BIRTHDAY :   unknown ETHNIC  GROUP :   caucasian NATIONALITY :   japanese spanish LANGUAGE / S :   spanish,  japanese, english SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :   panromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   single CLASS :   n/a HOME  TOWN / AREA :    galicia, spain / hueco mundo CURRENT  HOME :   verse dependent PROFESSION :   verse dependent

PHYSICAL.

HAIR :  dark brown hair, regularly unkempt and forming a wavy texture and look to it. the only element of control being the part in the middle, though loose. EYES :  storm-like blue eyes. NOSE :   longer than average, curved upwards somewhat. FACE :    diamond - shaped,  prominent chin and defined cheekbones that lead the remainder of his face. LIPS :   thin. COMPLEXION :  olive. BLEMISHES :   none. SCARS :   hollow-hole on chest, rest are verse dependent TATTOOS :  the number 1 upon the back of his left hand. HEIGHT :   187 cm WEIGHT :    77 kg BUILD :   athletic,  toned. FEATURES :    n/a. ALLERGIES :   n/a. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :   slicked back, or tied up. USUAL  FACE  LOOK :   detached, as if nothing phased or will phase him. USUAL  CLOTHING :    white, black lined, jacket with a popped collar & matching white trousers. notably sports a black sash around his waist. verse dependent.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :   fear, loneliness, abandonment, trust. ASPIRATION / S :   find strong individuals with which to share his experiences. POSITIVE  TRAITS :   idealistic, ( relatively ) kind, watchful, highly intelligent. NEGATIVE  TRAITS :   mournful, slothful, ( relatively ) spiteful ZODIAC :   capricorn. TEMPEREMENT :    melancholic. SOUL  TYPE / S :    thinker. ANIMALS :   mountain goat. VICE  HABIT / S :    n/a. FAITH :   n/a. GHOSTS ? :   yes. AFTERLIFE ? :  yes. REINCARNATION ? : yes. ALIENS ? :   too complicated. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :   representative democracy. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :   topological . SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION :   n/a EDUCATION  LEVEL :   n/a.

FAMILY.

FATHER :   unknown. MOTHER :    unknown. SIBLINGS :  n/a. EXTENDED  FAMILY :    unknown. NAME  MEANING / S :    literal translation. HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :   unknown. verse dependent.

FAVORITES.

BOOK :   philosophical, poems. MOVIE :    westerns, historical. 5 SONGS :   take care of business by nina simone, culture war by arcade fire, ivy by frank ocean, montreal by the weeknd, in the air tonight by phil collins DEITY :   aizen, tbh HOLIDAY :   autumnal equinox day. MONTH :   november. SEASON :   fall. PLACE :   hueco mundo. WEATHER :    rainy. SOUND :   silence. SCENT / S :    oak / woods. TASTE / S :    sharp. FEEL / S :    velvet. ANIMAL / S :    canines. NUMBER :  1 COLORS :   black,  white, turquoise. 

EXTRA.

TALENTS :   strategic warfare based understanding and intellect, string instruments. BAD  AT :   a lot. TURN  ONS :   lol  TURN  OFFS :   lol HOBBIES :   reading,  music. TROPES :   brilliant, but lazy.  AESTHETIC  TAGS :    minimalist spaces, forests, fields, black & white images, st. sebastian, symmetric imagery, wolves, dogs, weapons GPOY  QUOTES :   “ Hell is—other people!. ”

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S :   n/a. ALT  FC / S :  n/a. OLDER  FC / S :   n/a. YOUNGER  FC / S :   n/a. VOICE  CLAIM / S :   @ wiki GENDERBENT  FC / S :    n/a.

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?          A1 :   he’s never really had his own movie before so anything would be nice. but, honestly, i’d love to indulge in a western-themed film in terms of it’s story-telling and motifs. though anything about his past, despite my headcanons, would be great. maybe of his life and death. the climb to being the strongest, stuff like that. Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?          A2 :   heavy usage of string instruments and semi-old fashioned vocals or abstract vocals. an example would be the nina simone song i mentioned earlier. Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?          A3 :   relatable? in some ways? i don’t know really, he’s just always interested me because there’s that element of him being the strongest but not wanting to fight. but not in that “oh no i hate fighting im a bad fighter whos just strong!” way but the “i choose not to fight because it would be wasted effort” way. Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?          A4 :   # b o n e n e c k l a c e Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.          A5 :   he did nothing wrong. Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?          A6 :   aside from the “you have talent but ur wasting it” thing not much Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?          A7 :   ? ? ?  Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?        A8 :   have yet to have many interactions, so, cant say yet! Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 :   movie & series soundtracks, specifically, though neither of the two, the ost to the wolf among us. Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?          A10 :    is it 2020 yet

[sadproblems]

Sunrise or sunset? both have different aspects that i like

Are you mentally ill? yes

Are you physically ill? no

What is the most expensive thing you have bought? a blouse (€80)

Do you have a job? sadly no

Are you in school? jep college is school

Are you a dropout? nope

Are you in college? jep

Introvert or extrovert? introvert

What do you think when you look at your body? what a disgusting life form i inhabit

What have others said when they look at your body? beautiful, good, healthy, ‘hot’

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? rn it’s ‘U’ by Majid Jordan but for a while it was ‘Welcome to the Hell Zone’ by Spooky Black and Bobby Raps

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? a lot of moments i’ve spent with flori i guess idk it’s hard to think of something when i’m feeling like this

Are you confident wearing a bikini? no absolutely not

Can you look people in the eyes while talking? yes

Has anything terrible happened to you? yes

Has anything wonderful happened to you? yes (seda)

Favorite part of your personality? i’m a very caring person

Least favorite part of your personality? i get jealous easily

Favorite part of your body? my eyes i guess?

Least favorite part of your body? my ‘love handles’ whose existence im still denying 

Favorite quote? “I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return” - Frida Kahlo

Do you have friendships with all genders? since gender is a really broad spectrum and often fluid i find it very hard to answer this question

Do you have a good relationship with your father? yes

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? yes

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? yes very

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? jep

Have you ever had a near death experience? i guess but it’s hard to recall

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? yes

Have you ever tried to take your own life? ha

Biggest lie you have told? something along the lines of “yes i’m fine yes everything is ok” or “no i haven’t told anyone”

Do you follow any conspiracies? i guess i do on some level

Do you believe in a New World Order? no

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run? i don’t have any more respect for the people who run my country than i do for the people who don’t. We have a very good healthcare and education system but the experiences i’ve had at my current internship have only confirmed that there’s always room for improvement. It’s also always good to view your governments actions critically.

Is there currently any strife in your country? in some ways: islamophobia has risen for example

Have you ever been displaced within your country? no

Are your friendships healthy? some of them

Are you currently fighting with a friend? no

Are you jealous of a friend? Why? yes because i’m a selfish crybaby child

Do you believe in the Illuminati? the illuminati did exist but they dont anymore

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who? lmao no

How can people tell you are nervous? they cant

How can people tell you are sad? by my overall tone of voice and vibe

Do you ever express your true feelings? sometimes more often than not

Regrets in your life? meeting certain people and letting them get close to me

Achievements in your life? graduating highschool and being alive lol

What did people say about you in school? kind but fat and an unpopular feminist

What did you say about people in school? i often questionned their morals

Is there something you have never told anyone? jep

Have you committed an illegal act? jep

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? buy real estate/shares/gifts for friends and family donate the rest

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18? 5: learn how to ride a bike (did that) 10: learn how to play guitar and ‘be cool’ (did one of those things) 15: get better grades and try not to get into fights with my parents (succes) 18: graduate (jep also did that)

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? no i was drunk selfish and felt bad afterwards i still like to think it didn’t really count nor happen (it didn’t) *edit: as soon as i get my real first kiss/(second less dumb kiss) that will be THE First Kiss Story™ i really do believe i have a say in this lol it also wasn’t that bad i definitely like kissing and the person it was with but the situation i was in just made me feel confused and a lil weird but still….i liked it….idk……..this is really messing with my head

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? average but with money troubles from time to time

Are you from a broken marriage? no

Have you been raised by a solo parent? no

Do you know both your parents? yes

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have? blue, dark blonde/light brown, medium to white but not pale

Have you abused drugs or alcohol? not really

What languages can you speak? dutch english french german

Do you conform to your societies standards? i do

Do you cry often? almost every day/ multiple times a day

Do you tell people what you think of them? only the positive aspects but also the negative ones if it’ll benefit them

Are you comfortable accepting compliments? no

Are you comfortable giving compliments? yes!!

Is any mental illness hindering your life? jep

Is any physical illness hindering your life? nope

Do you keep up with current events? i do

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read? may holding trump’s hand is the last thing i remember

What have you done today? i worked at my internship where i counsil students with social/emotional issues and try to help them/sign them up for rehabilitation programs

Do you sleep well? no

Do you sleep badly? yes and have been for more than 7 months

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting? yes

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting? yes

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why? yes because she was abusive and made me feel bad i tried to get her back when she dumped me but when she texted me almost a year later i let her go

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves? yes

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself? they try

Do you like your laugh? no i try to cover my mouth as much as possible

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind? no

Do you have any funny family stories? yes but they’re only funny to me

Are you religious? no

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies? yes

Are you interested in cults? yes

Would you like to raise a family in your country? maybe

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got? those fairy wings you can get at the costume store (mine broke)

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling? no only 2,5 years

Are you from a blended family? no

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not? i do but it takes a lot of effort and commitment from both sides

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you? “to me you are home”

Do you keep a journal? i do

Would anyone be hurt by reading it? yes omg

Do you have children? no

Have you been pregnant? no

List your favorite movies? jongens, le fabuleux destin d’amelie poulain, submarine, frida, leon the professional, pretty woman,love actually, paranorman, heathers, holes, little miss sunshine, studio ghibli movies,…

List your favorite people? florine, seda and her family, catharina, my family, joanna, alexandra and my cat (arthur and laura get an honorable mention)

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body? i have a birthmark right next to my belly button (my favorite) on my left pinky and two on my face (one above my lip on my cheek and one below my lip i hate both and am thinking about getting them removed) my scars lol on arms and knuckles but barely visable also one in my neck

Do you look after yourself? more than i used to but still not enough

Do you put yourself or others first? others!!

Are you happy today? not really

Are you loved? i am

[tumblunni]

Oh that’s cute! The title screen has a random chance of switching between the two different ‘masks’ of the characters each time you boot it up!

Okay I’m gonna start a bloggin’ my comments as I play this game! Woo!

Wow, a quick travel menu between checkpoints in the story is incredibly useful for multiple ending visual novels! I’m surprised I’ve never seen one do it before! Tho its a lil silly the game shows it the first time you boot it up.

Also, randomly, just gotta say that I really like the protagonist’s human form design! The colourscheme is a nice unusual one that just caught my eye immediately, and I like the little dot pattern accessories. Feels very vintage shoujo even if the art style isnt.

I... dont really like her catgirl form as much though. It just feels like the most generic catgirl ever and she even loses her colourscheme, she’s just this more muted version and doesnt have blue hair anymore even?? Like wow, human = non human hair, catgirl = actually plausable albino??? Also its weird that she de-ages when her ears pop out, wtf. I am neeeeeevr gonna be a fan of the stupid ‘looks like a child but she isnt a child so its somehow okay’ anime cliche. Thats what made me worry this was gonna be ecchi when i first saw the screenshots on steam, this design choice is kinda disproportionately used in That Kind Of Dating Game. And catgirls already have a bit of a bad reputation in that sense too :P Also from what little I know about this via the steam description and reviews, it seems somehow her personality changes when she transforms, so she even ACTS more like an actual child.. man why so weird yo... I just hope that none of these red flags come true and I’m just worrying for nothing!

OH. YEAH. WHAT THE GAME IS ABOUT. If I’m gonna do more detailed posts of my Game Excitements, then I may as well give some context first! According to the store description, the protagonist is a seemingly-human girl who suddenly discovers she has latent catgirl powers on her 18th birthday or something? And her love interest has a secret identity too, there’s something about him being a royal guard but acting less serious and more goofy when he’s around her. And that sounds pretty cute actually. And you have multiple routes about embracing your new beast-person powers or trying to become human for real, which is a nice sort of plot that you wouldnt expect. I just hope it lives up to my expectations!

.... every time a catgirl actually says “nya”, it lowers my expectations. Please game, I believe in you, please dont be awful!

Shoutout to my BFF’s pet cat, yo!

Expectations.. plummetting... oh god... the voiceacting how do i turn it off oh god if its gonna be like THAT the whole time i cant stand Generic Anime Voice #5 screeching NYAAAA at the end of each line, holy fuck...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjY3eM7Ta7A Okay, the intro actually is quite cute, even though its just clipart bouncing around. But umm.. the starting text lowers my expectations a bit more, urp... Like.. uhh.. geez... I really do not like the odd trope of ‘but I thought you were just like a brother to me and then we fell in love’. Or rather I dont like how its weirdly common that this is the ONLY way childhood romances are presented in anime, and how like.. its so.. frequent that plots have ‘but its LIKE incest even though it isnt’ as something that just has to be mentioned.. often..?? I dont get it yo. Obviously this isnt actually incest, but it just weirds me out how a game would want to mention incest when it isnt?? As if it would somehow add appeal or something?? Am I overreacting? I mean.. like.. the only other explanation I can think of for why childhood romances in anime are ALWAYS ‘but we were just like siblings’ is that like.. the writers have zero experience with the concept of men and women being friends. Which I could kinda assume already from how this weird angst always has to happen whenever friends fall in love in anime, geez. It always has to be BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS AND WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS NOW WE ARE DATING AND MY FEELINGS WERE ALWAYS LOVE AND NEVER FRIENDSHIP OF COURSE, BLABLABLA. And how if the love isnt recipricated then they almost never get to stay friends afterwards?? And just like.. really.. how EVERY male-female childhood friendship is always ‘we were like siblings’ as an excuse to not really write them being friends?? Its like thats the only excuse they can think of for why a man wouldnt wanna fuck a woman, and EVEN THEN they have to be wrong about their feelings and fuck in the end anyway. This kind of attitude is probably what leads to the sexualization of actual sibling relationships even, and the attitude that rape is inevitable if an attractive woman just EXISTS, and how rape cant happen to men because its just natural any man would want to fuck any woman at any time.... ANYWAY This isnt a criticism of this game (yet), since I havent even played far enough to find out if it does any of this stuff. This is just a vent about how I’ve seen this bullshit happen in a lot of other anime and anime-styled dating sims, and why now I get wary whenever I see a hint of it.

SO YEAH not very high expectations yet, alas which is a shame cos I was pretty excited when i booted it up and now im like BRACE FOR ANIME CLICHES AHOY pretty much describes my first playthrough of FE Awakening too, and I ended up liking that overall even though I had complaints. so I’ll hope for a repeat performance!

ANYWAY now is time to actually get into playing the game, and come back when I have some stuff to say~! I just figured making a post of my initial reactions and speculations and stuff would be fun! Also I didnt expect to be reminded of a rant about anime cliches and waste so much text space on that, lol

BONUS: i like to pronounce the acronym as ‘huhtuhtuhtoym’