#that there's a sonic/tails brother au out there pasted on top of it

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

There's this like

Really funny phenomenon where I'll watch people do redraws/aus for popular relationships with every ship under the sun. Like redraws of people's ships as sophie/howl, or disney princesses and their prince, or hades and persephone, or sasuke/naruto, etc

And then randomly I'll find there's an entire sprawling au out there where someone took one of these popular/mainstream romantic pairings, pasted Sonic and Tails onto the characters, and then insisted to hell and back that they're brothers and that people would be weirdos to assume in any way they're depicting the two as romantic. Despite pasting them onto a well known ship or canonically romantic pairing, and not really changing the relationship moments from the source material much if at all.

[sonic-au-collision]

SONIC AU COLLISION: ROUND 5

click to see full image

Egghogs AU belongs to @themetalvirus [link to au tag]

We Have The Sky belongs to @niko-jpeg [link to masterpost]

Artist Credit: @tsubomiiiii

Explore each world below the cut!

Egghogs AU:

The Eggman Empire has overtaken a large portion of the Earth, thanks in no small part to his top soldiers: Sonic, Shadow, and Silver. Raised by Eggman and his robot army, they'll do anything to shape the world into what their father envisions for it.

All three of the boys are pushed to their physical and mental limits every day, made to work and train for long hours. They're kept stunted, too stressed or emotionally closed off to think about what has been done to them. Alongside this inner turmoil, they are committing atrocities every day without a second thought.

Amy Rose is a scrappy young hero determined to crush the Empire once and for all, working with her genius little brother Tails and her huge group of friends to foil Eggman's plans at every turn. Her hammer is just as threatening to the Empire as her kindness.

As emotions run high and allegiances change, the fate of the universe lays in the hands of someone it shouldn't, and it'll lead to everyone's ruin... including his own.

We Have The Sky:

After the Metal Virus is all sorted out, Silver is excited to return to a home he only ever got to dream of, in a safe and happy future.

Unfortunately for him, fate has other plans as he finds himself wrapped up in a very large misunderstanding as the ‘messiah’ intended to save the world from an unseen threat. He has no understanding of his pre-established role in the world, or in his (apparently very alive) family, or if this is truly the future he fought so hard to secure. Even with the help of a much older Shadow and his ghostly companion, he isn’t sure if there is a way to set things right in the past, or if it’s even his place to do so.

[demonangelgirl134]

Cinos the Hedgehog

One of the main villains in my main Sonic au "Freedom fighters from the hidden world" and the leader of the Dimension Jumpers

Name: Cinos (SIN-nohs)

Age: 17

Gender: male

Sexuality: straight

Location: Mobius: (dimension prime)

Place of birth: Mobius (dimension V)

Occupation: Villain

Favorite color: Green

Nationality: American

Species: hedgehog

Character trait: Evil

Voice actor: Aurelio Voltaire

Personality:

Snarky

Egotistical

Flirty

Ruthless

Rude

Deranged

Almost heartless

Merciless

Manipulative

Bossy

Doesn't care how many people he kills

Powers and abilities:

Dimension jumping

Telekinesis

Reality warping

Flight

Shape shifting

Holographic transmissioning

Demolecularization

Intangibility

Object animation

Teleportation

Super speed

Super strength

Shadow manipulation

Dead precipitation

Brainwashing

Chaos blast

Electrokinesis

Dream Manipulation

Mind control

Invulnerability

Accessories:

Derrange crystal

Limiter rings

Handplate on the left hand that reads "Experiment-001-Envious Z2-48"

Black Elbow-high Fingerless gloves over regular white gloves

White and blue high tops

Physical characteristics:

Has to wear limiter rings because he's overpowered and unstable like Shadow the hedgehog

Has a lot of the same powers as Infinite the Jackle, except way more powerful

Main source of power comes from the Derrange crystal that was forcefully implanted into his chest by Dr. Envious when he was young

Has sharp teeth

Eyes glow when he uses his powers

Gem glows when he uses his powers

Has a secret Handplate on the left hand that reads "Experiment-001-Envious Z2-48" that was forcefully bolted in by Dr. Envious that is always hidden by his gloves

The skin on his chest around his Derrange crystal is mostly scarring

Is an alternate counterpart of Sonic the hedgehog

Could drink 50 gallons of alcohol and not get drunk

Likes:

Seeing children cry

Pickpocketing

Dimension jumping

Causing chaos

Tripping people down stairs (especially elders)

Hurting those weaker than him

Stealing candy from babies for the fun of it

Ladies

Traveling to different dimensions

Anything with skulls

Anything evil

Power

Hurting animals

Working for those in power (only so he can backstab them and steal their power)

Getting people to like him, then backstabbing them

Noxious fumes

Arson

Dislikes:

Losing

Anything cute

When people are happy

Anything good

Jail

Baths

Stupidity

The color bright blue

Faults:

Doesn't care about anyone but himself

Only worries about the past

Fears:

Needles

Water (he's an alternate Sonic)

Losing power

Friends:

Dr. Eggman (temporarily)

Walter Naugus (temporarily)

Infinite the Jackle (temporarily)

Scourge the Hedgehog (temporarily)

Enemies:

Princess Serenade the hedgehog/alicorn

Sonic the Hedgehog

Tails the Fox

Shadow the hedgehog

Knuckles the Echidna

Silver the hedgehog

Scratch the Cyberchicken

Grounder the Swiss army robot

Coconuts the robot monkey

Decoe and Bocoe the Robots

Sleet the Wolf

Dingo the dingo

Lupe the Wolf

Robecca the Dingo

Orbot and Cubot

Metal sonic

Metal Serenade

Maria the Cyberchicken

Bokkun

Zonic the Zone cop

Family members:

Darkness the Hedgehog (triplet brother)

Haze the hedgehog (triplet sister)

Missing mother

Missing father

Backstory:

Cinos was born on Mobius Dimension V with his brother Dark and sister Haze. When he and his siblings were 5, they were kidnapped by the evil Dr. Envious and had all sorts of heinous experiments performed on them, mostly Cinos, like forcefully bolting metal tag plates into their hands, drugging them, shocking them with powerful energy surges, and forcefully implanting Derrange crystals into their chests. (Derrange crystals are dimension V's version of the chaos emeralds, except there are tons of them, unlike the prime dimension that only has 7 and their powers are more like the Phantom Ruby.) Since Cinos got most of the abuse, he became the most messed up out of the three, and the negative energy of the Derrange crystal affected his brain and turned him evil. Cinos and his siblings then escaped when they were twelve and began a villainous career throughout the multiverse from the negative energy from the Derrange crystals, never being caught by the Zone cops. Years later, he and his siblings were hired by Dr. Eggman as henchmen to capture the freedom fighters, and after a while of working for Eggman, he betrayed him and took over the Eggman empire, But got kicked into a vat of power-draining fluid by Sonic the hedgehog in an attempt to push HIM into the vat and lost his powers and was finally arrested

[acespeon]

I hope you don't mind if I choose all three Wachowski brothers for the Send Me A Character thing, I love them all equally

this got lost in all my notes, sorry anon! So let’s do all three Wachowski sibs, starting with Sonic

First impression: is that fucking Dewey Duck in a Sonic costume?

Impression now: I would die for you

Favourite moment: it starts and ends with ‘d’, and also the beach scene in the second movie I thought was a really good display of how much Sonic has grown as both a character and his own person.

Idea for a story: I have several, it’s called Birds of a Feather j/k I have an idea for a Sonic chapter but I need to iron it out a bit before I write it

Unpopular opinion: the memes and flossing can go

Favourite relationship: definitely how father-son he’s gotten with Tom (HEAR ME YOU SICKOS??? THEY’RE A FATHER AND SON YOU IDIOTS), but I also look forward to seeing what he’s like with his new brothers in the Knuckles series if they touch on that in it

Favourite headcanon: Wachowski can and will kill a man which entirely sets him apart from the other Sonics in the continuity. and I’m also a fan of the living chaos emerald theory

Tails

First impression: baby boy. fluffy baby boy

Impression now: baby boy. fluffy baby

Favourite moment: definitely mowing Knuckles down with the cop car is top tier entertainment, also Siberia dance off

Idea for a story: as above. I also have a couple more Tails ideas in the works for future Birds of a Feather chapters. one will be Tails having to leave post it notes on things he’s tampered with.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think I have any unpopular Tails opinions other than they really should’ve shown a small flashback to his home world. we got one with Knuckles and Sonic, and I think it would’ve driven home his panic attack when the Siberians started calling him and Sonic freaks

Favourite relationship: I look forward to a lot of Tails with his new fam, especially Ozzie and Maddie and his big bros, and maybe Wade

Favourite headcanon: he’s taken over Tom’s shed where Tom found Sonic in the first movie. Tom is never getting it back

Knuckles

First impression: *INCOHERENT SCREAMING* and ‘oh gods I hope they don’t mess him up’

Impression now: I absolutely adore this iteration of Knuckles right down to his Draxxness

Favourite moment: too many but honorable mentions go to ‘oh they are stairs’, ‘YOU DARE MOCK ME IN MY HOUR OF DEFEAT’ and ofc ‘I HAVE JUST BEEN TOLD THEY HAVE SPRINKLES’

Idea for a story: Ohana was basically meant to be him getting used to the family life but since I wrote that when we didn’t know anything about what he’d be like or his role, I’d like to carry some of it over into Birds of a Feather. I also saw someone point out that Knuckles would be more inclined to call Maddie ‘mother’ than Sonic would or that Sonic would rather call Tom ‘dad’ than vice versa. I’d like to explore that.

Unpopular opinion: I honestly don’t think there’s any shipping material between him and Sonic in the movie verse. As much as I was gung ho for it before I do acknowledge that they are brothers in a sense now more so than in past versions. Though I am still gonna write that au at some point.

Favourite relationship: KNUCKLES AND MADDIE KNUCKLES AND MADDIE KNUCKLES AND MADDIEEEE. SHE OUTRIGHT SAID HE WAS HER FAVOURITE AND I SCREAMED BC MAMA’S BOYYYYY

Favourite headcanon: he might have a bed and roof over his head but Knuckles comes and goes as he pleases from the Wachowski home. He’s like a college student that goes away for a semester and then comes back. However he does leave notes, despite nobody being able to read his chicken scratch of Ekidnian.

[the-hadal-zon3]

So... been playing some Project Zombiod and... I got an idea for a zombie apocalypse AU.

Basically, Eggman unleashed some sealed up zombies thinking they were a weapon he could use... he’s the first to get taken down by them and turned. And from there... it spreads. There’s survivor outposts lead by different groups.

Team Sonic here has a smaller outpost where they act as go-between for other survivors, Sonic running deliveries, Knuckles teaching how to farm properly, Tails helping with repairs or medical assistance.

Team Rose fortified a town they cleared out and have a bit of a thriving community, Big has a nice sized lake to fish from that’s safe, and Vanillia is able to keep Cream safe in it too.

Team Dark... ransacked and took over an abandoned G.U.N base. I’d say the military were not prepared for the zombies and... got taken out, so... G.U.N is gone. They’ve gout their own community they take care of and protect.

The Babylon Rouges do their own little thing that helps out, trading supplies for getting things other groups need.

Forces never happened, or even came close to happening, so Infinite and his group actually joined up with Team Sonic, they keep the area around their small base clear of Zombies and act as look outs.

Sonic... discovered he was immune thanks to a zombie that snuck up on him and managed to get his arm. He was in quarantine for over a month, long past when someone would turn, something Tails had insisted on instead of just putting his brother down.

On the discovery he was immune, Sonic pretty much started having a lot of blood drawn in order to try and make a cure since he should have anti-bodies for the virus. It leaves him pretty drained, especially since he’ll pretend to have already had rations to ensure Tails has enough food too.

Sonic already has insomnia due to being paranoid of hordes, top off all the blood draws, running supplies, and not really eating enough... he’s anemic now and tends to also have dizzy spells pretty often.

Unknown to even themselves, Big and Jet are both immune as well.

Shadow... well, he’s the Ultimate Lifeform and part alien, of course he’s immune.

[curetapwater]

My kid sister has an AU-ish of connected headcanons about Sonic characters. Here's some about Team Sonic:

Sonic

Grew up a homeless orphan and has a lot of unpacked trauma from that period of his life

Extremely picky due to sensory issues. Chili dogs are his #1 safe food

Is generally very chill but has extreme mood swings sometimes. He's learned to isolate himself during these so he doesn't hurt anyone.

Has ADHD

He's gay. He started crushing on Shadow after the events of SA2 and started dating him after the events of Generations

Hates Wearing Clothes

He's trans

He doesn't have his driver's license (TSR was an outlier due to the whole tournament being of dubious legality anyway and the All-Stars racers didn't happen)

The King of Emotional Repression

Outside of mongolian throat singing, he hyperfixates on one music artist at a time. Right now it's Big Time Rush

Thinks the Hulk is hot

Tails

Sings in his sleep

His many many patents make him the breadwinner of the household

Screams every time he yawns

Was banned from watching YouTube after watching Billion Surprise Toys too many times

Sonic once turned on Meet the Robinsons for Tails to wean him off of YouTube and when he came back into the room Tails was crying about "the orphan inventor boy that gets treated differently who learns to put the past behind him and move forward with his found family"

Was the valedictorian at Yale. His speech included a pause because he knew Sonic was gonna shout "HI TAAAAILS" and he sure did

He loves Fortnite and Minecraft. He was once playing Fortnite against Scourge online and Scourge cursed at him and he ended up repeating it so now Tails is only allowed to play online games with Charmy

The only one in the household with any organizational skills. If there's scheduling that's needed, he's the one doing it.

Often has to remind Sonic to carry out self-care tasks

Knuckles

Angel Island has floated over Sonic's house so now Knuckles can live with the rest of his team

He keeps the Master Emerald in the backyard and sleeps on top of it

He technically has a bedroom but treats it more like a storage space because he's usually outdoors with the ME anyway

Chews on doll shoes

His favorite movie is The Lion King

Locke isn't his bio dad, he just stole him as an egg and microwaved him. By the time he learns what happened, all of the echidnas including his bio dad (his dad from Sonic 2) are already dead :(

Ken Penders is a nebulous boogieman-like creature who's always trying to steal Knuckles away

Started dating Rouge around the time Sonic and Shadow got together.

He and Shadow are the world's most awkward brothers-in-law because they're both different flavors of socially awkward and don't know how to interact with each other

He sleepwalks.

[tenya]

I kinda wanted to make a fic about your shooting stars au. Any useful information you can give me? Like how do their friends find them and have do they react?

here’s the thing: tails isn’t sure sonic survived. sonic adventure 2 is, relatively speaking, still pretty early on in the timeline. they haven’t been through the craziest shit yet. 

most importantly, shadow isn’t known as “that one guy who fell from space and survived,” because that’s literally the story being told right now.

what i’m trying to say is, there’s no precedent for this kind of thing. and like? tails doesn’t know what happened while sonic and shadow were still in freefall. if they had hit the ground at top speed, sonic wouldn’t have survived. period. like, sure, he’s a superhero, but he’s still mortal, y’know?

and tails knows that. he’s smart... but he also doesn’t want to believe that his brother is gone. and so he doesn’t! denial is funny like that.

rouge is also devastated by the apparent loss of shadow. she picks up the pair of inhibitor rings he took off to fight the final hazard for... what? safekeeping? she doesn’t really know. it’s not like she’ll be able to give them back to him one day... right?

as you might have guessed by now, rouge ends up teaming up with tails. not only can they bond over the loss of the two most important hedgehogs in their lives, but tails is actively searching for sonic. and rouge figures that if tails can find sonic... shadow won’t be far behind.

so, fast forward to when they finally find them. a couple of months have gone by. at first, sonic and shadow kept a fairly low profile, which made finding them pretty hard. earth is a big planet, after all! but then the g.u.n. stuff happens, and eggman rolls up at some point, too... tails and rouge nearly crossed paths with them during that altercation, but by the time they arrived, sonic and shadow were already gone.

i think it’d be more dramatic if they ALMOST found them, but just missed them. because then they’d have their hope restored while adding to the rising tension of their inevitable reunion? yeah.

anyways, i was thinking that the way they ACTUALLY reunite is... pretty anticlimactic, all things considered. it’s not in the midst of a battle or anything. tails sees sonic and is like “sonic? i knew it! i knew you were alive!” but sonic... is just confused. “sorry,” he’d say, “but i think you have the wrong guy! the name’s blue. nice to meetcha, kid.”

cuz here’s the thing. sonic isn’t shadow. sonic goes with the flow. he’s not as hung up on figuring out the past as shadow is... he’s more concerned with making something of himself right now, in the present.

and since it’s been awhile since they crash landed, he’s content with this new identity he’s created. i’m basing this characterization off of how he seemed to fixate on “mr. needlemouse” in the idw comics, and repeatedly refused to identify with “sonic” when blaze called him that. since he didn’t know who that was anymore.

tails... doesn’t take it well. but he doesn’t want to push too hard either, so he kinda just... goes along with it. the good news is that sonic could never forget his little bro... not for long, anyway.

[leo-dale19]

Tap-dancing flame man (short story)

Chapter 1

He can be seen on the shores every night as the sun sinks into the ocean on the nearby horizon. He bristles with flaming porcupine spikes of love emanating from his body, and maybe someone out there knows who he is. I have dreamed of him time and time again, yet his physical appearance is of no surprise - he is there and it is the Now. He puts on a pedoskitis (that’s a foot dance in Universal Love) in rhythm to the stars, who he seems to hold paralysed in fear in the exact same places on the carpet-black night sky, sparkling nails, hammered into a blank carpet by the song of the red dolphins. To be stuck in time is a horrible fate to suffer, but you may still be telling unknown entities you have never known very vital things.  

Sound waves sometimes travel across the island’s landscapes, they climb mountains with agile ease that would put most mountain-trekkers to shame and reach their destination in record time, but noone’s thought of a corresponding reward for their sonic boom efforts. Davy once looked at me weirdly when I asked him if he was thinking of breaking the speed of sound, and Joey’s lethargic greeting is another memory from galaxies ago that still remains fresh in the memory. If you listen closely, you can hear the animals whisper, and the sun’s light at all times of the day, although especially towards the evening as it sets, reflects it straight into my heart. I can feel a burning sensation if I pay attention to it, otherwise it is merely a minor sensory irritation on my walks along the coast. I can hear him tip-toeing on the spot at high speed as he resurrects the past in the burning oxygen around him with his unusual artistry. I can feel and see the molecules of 2017 combust into cluster bombs of 2011. 

I thought of inviting him to the cinema the other day, there is a film-room nearby which we can teleport to if we just focus on our right hand. It’s as easy as that. But the easiest things in this life are the hardest things to realise, and God would never have it any other way. There is nothing we truly want from this life, you can only kid yourself for so long. I’m sure he would understand, but the emotional space in interaction is more important than the intellectual content - I know he would agree. Some people just take on synesthesic sacredness instantaneously,  they’re naturals. The room is spacious and in the corner there is always one of two brothers reading a book I keep meaning to look at, although I know how funny it is already - I read it over his shoulder with eagle-eye vision and have a good memory for specific extracts. I lived an entire life blind until a miracle was done to me in a torture camp and I could see the colour green greener than ever before. The people who conducted the operation told me not to swear, but words have a physical life of their own and just knowing that they do what they do is the best way to express your deepest thoughts. But in the end, everything’s simple and all complications are merely a distortion of the essential. I often wondered whether one could take the simple and convert it back to its initial complex form, but I laughed, thought about why I find that funny when other times I would not and let the thought be syphoned away into one of the few memory holes left in my head. There aren’t many, and the light from the Spinoza soldier on the horizon keeps shining through them. 

I decided I would pay him a visit soon. The red sharks could be sensed in the distance dragging down Eliot’s human voices, but Alfred Prufrock never said they would shriek so loud. Heartbeats and a D piano octave. Spinal Tap said D major was their favourite key to write songs in, but they are from a pre-period of awakening, merely a prelude. Dylan Thomas’s chains still rattle on the waves, but they merely splash transiently ephemeral bubbles like he intended. 

Ancient civilizations ( They seem to always come from islands, is there no depth on the intense land?). They sleep with you at night and respond to your phone calls. The ones in your dreams, of course. The sunrise allows you to see how the bay’s whistling slides on aquamarine tails, upwards and spiralling down.  

Chapitre 2

J’ai la soudaine envie d’écrire ce deuxième chapitre en Francais. Le mode de communication intérieur ne change rien au mélodies des dauphins au loin de la fenêtre, mais c’est le seul phénomène constant sur cette île momentanément monotone et mystérieuse. Je recommence à ressentir ces brûlures cardiaques, elle m’enrhument assez souvent. Le chaud a tendance à donner froid, tel est le destin des frileux d’esprit. 

Je me souviens littéralement de tout les moments et aspects de ma vie antérieure, mais sans aucun désir d’y retourner. Никакого у меня нет желания порвать с этим миром! comme je me suis dit à voix haute en descendant les escaliers de la gare Cornavin sur cette nuit horrible, où la fumée envahissait mes oreilles de tous les côtés et d’anciens anges me paraissaient démons, tellement ils étaient devenus crudes et terrestres. Mais cette exclamation en russe contradit entièrement ce que j’essaie de dire, mais en même temps pas entièrement - ce passé vit avec moi éternellement, mais l’ayant sacrifié au Dieu de la Sérotonine il occupe maintenant un espace beaucoup plus adapté a ses proportions et étendues. Je ne suis pas dans l’état le plus lucide non plus, mais cela fait tout partie de l’image générale. Les planches du Canada résonnent dans les parages avec leur spectrum tout de suite reconnaissable. 

Je n’ai jamais aimé l’admettre, mais il y a eu certaines périodes ou j’éprouvais un sincère mépris pour mes amis qui se droguaient avec leur susbtances. C’était, il ne vaut pas la peine de le cacher, une sorte d’élitisme spirituel entièrement éhonté, mais surement cela venait plutôt du fait que ces nuages toxiques semblaient me persécuter à tous les coins, plutôt que d’avoir quoi que ce soit à voir avec les personnes elle-mêmes. Mais le mauvais temps a tendance à influencer le monde intérieur, vous savez.  

Il y’a des recoins de la conscience humaine qui abondent de salons rempls de fauteuils rouges qui fondent vers l’essence des choses comme de la guimauve éthérée, un bac à sable de l’enface au sucre d’orge. Un des plus grand dilemmes à perturber mon esprit concernait le fait que si tout désarroi et mécontentement origine dans nos propres limitations personelles, à quoi donc servent les autres gens? Ce paradoxe louphoquement solipsiste m’a autant rassuré qu’inquiété. Mais peut-être qu’a la fin, les simplets ont raison - un mélange de tout est nécessaire. You gotta have a little bit of everything, как любил поговаривать мой лучший друг всех времен, самодовольный русофоб Simon. Я его люблю и вся боль, причиненная мне им только сделала меня сильнее. 

Ma fascination avec tout ce qui se trouve à l’est de l’Allemagne me mystife jusqu’à aujourd’hui. Mais je trouve que ce chapitre est déjà allé trop loin (serais-je conscient de ma présence comme écrivain d’un monde imaginé?) et j’ai intention tout simplement de sortir, voir les meilleurs ami non de l’homme, mais de John C. Lilly dans la baie du seigneur. Le Dieu de la Sérotonine me surveille de la haut, mais il sait qu’il n’est pas le début, il est tout simplement une réincarnation de ma vérité. Une accidentelle métamorphose qui a pris place sous circonstances incroyables. Même dans les camps de concentrations et chambres à gaz, l’on peut crier de joie de la découverte du tout-puissant. 

Notre ami flamboyant tape toujours aussi ardemment des fieds. Le soleil se lève mais ce dernier voit en le soldat de la Spinoza son créateur, et non l’inverse. On a toujours besoin d’un plus éthéré que soi. 

Chapter 3 

What year is it? 

2017 feels more 2007 2008 2009 2010 and 2011 than it does like any of its neighbour years that preceded it. The first two chapters of this were shameless stream of consciousness, the strawberry flavoured guitar walls of noise are the priority now. Blonde Redhead’s with their wavy mix of seasons remind me of a girl whose hair I’d like to smell. However, my thoughts feel far more structured than usual and so the haziness of the first part of this story may or may not be repeated. Always the Now, isn’t it? I will die in the coming days. It is the thought with which I start this day, announced by the monolith sun rising on the horizon.

Or maybe I should tell you the truth.

The truth is that I am dead already. This is where I went after that day I ended my consciousness.  Chapter 4

Tanya Kravchenko. A chocolate-coated exotic slav name resounding across the nostalgic hallways of the Donbass Arena in Donetsk, which I have never seen. Past autumns and the wonders of growing up and discovering the world. The cold wind in this parking lot brings all that back, topping it up with a dull grey sky for full beauty.

You must excuse me if any inaccuracy in my story suddenly occurs. I have yet again gotten soap bubbles up my nose. It is a memory from the Serotonin God that finds its way into this purgatory eden and can disrupt the Universal Love consciousness at undesirable moments. However, no damage is permanent here. There is too much love in the air for that to happen. The oxygen on this island is really just molecules of pure love, you breathe, inhale and exhale and it flows right through you, like rain.  

The Serotonin God, if you’re wondering, is what eventually led me to putting an end to my mind. What led me to the event I am describing. 

I had so many reasons to have an incredible life. I was blessed with godly consciousness from day one, quite literally. It came bursting through when I was 14-15 and I realised I could already die happily. Which I do still think is what happened.

It was nearing 1400 hours, the time at which I had scheduled my final appointment with anybody on this earth - my old bus driver from my schooldays, who once told me it was a shame they didn’t see me around anymore (after I went off the grid for the first time).

And yet I did not die, and the Serotonin God still lives.

He just never stops, does he? Look at those feet go. That man in the suit with my name is in the distance, he lives in that French town I brought here from Earth with my love. In the summer you can sometimes see massive fires come from there, but everyone is so unbelievably happy in the dome of consciousness, sailing their boats and riding their racers. Des vieillards en bérets qui jouent à la pétanque, qu’ya t’il de plus Francais? Разве что эйфеловая башня с бутылью роскошненького вина, но увы, придирчивым здесь места нет. Перед всей мощью всеобъемлющей любви, все одинакво бессильны. And yet how he sways! What a sexy groove. Qu’elle divague, cette vague. Evitons-donc d’être trop vague.

The Riverside Stadium, that stayed on Earth. Would love to go see Middlesbrough play.

Chapter 5

Sometimes when I look out onto the beach, I feel I can hear him calling out “Don’t worry, Leo! It was all real! It’s all real! The Serotonin God lives!” as he tap dances away in flames. And he looks so happy in his world, as if dancing in his хоровод to the sounds of Kid A. And we were all just so blissfully happy, hand in hand on the grass… That is who I once was. And somehow, all these years later, I have lost it all and am on the verge of death. I write this all now for I am still in a relatively lucid state. “It was all real! Believe! Universal love awaits after death! Have no fear!” How blissfully peaceful and present he seems. There goes my clarity of mind again. I was in a beautiful world in the supermarket today. The Serotonin God is proof that one can always radically change one's consciousness, expand it to previously unknown extents. How bizarrely I remember that day in autumn 2015, that was the near perfect serotonin god, listening to that electronic artist from Nyon and feeling like I had transcended all suffering, and yet felt insecure about this unknown substance. How strange.

 What is interesting too is the story of the Tap Dancing Flame Man. Here is what I have gathered of it based on his occasional singing on the shoreline. 

 Chapter 6 "Will all those whose mothers are alive step forward JOHNSON WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING" - it was with this punchline that John Hannon set the cantine table in raptures, an all too popular military joke told far too often in these parts.

The tale of the Schizoid Man

There is a popular song around here; although to call it popular, perhaps, would be a mistake. Only 4 lines of it are known. But known they are by everyone. It goes:

Death seed, blind man’s greed

Poets starving, children bleed

Nothing he’s got he really needs

21st Century Schizoid Man 

For a long time, it was thought the 2nd line said “all it’s solving, children bleed”, and some still sing it that way, instinctively. 

The Schizoid Man, according to local legend, is a being made of pink fire-red ecstasy, however only of the masochistic kind. His form of ecstasy is inherently superficial, yet the intensity of it convinces him of its depth; often, the most tortured are the most naive. How unredeeming and unfair, isn’t it? 

Chapter 7

They’re all still there with you, Leo. You haven’t lost any of them. Besides, you will see it all again after death, exactly as it all happened. The Crown Plaza Hotel remains holy. 

This is what the spirits tell me as I look out onto the island.  Suddenly, I am visited. 

“Leo!”

I turn around, it is me. Another me. Immediately, I can tell it is the Me I wanted to be. The parallel universe I wish I had experienced. 

“Stay alive. You will live my life after you die anyway. You must make the most of what you have. The present moment is still king. If you focus on the right hand, you will get better. Eternal ecstasy is everywhere. Wolfgang Voigt loves you. Ulrich Schnauss too. That evening in Berlin will never be forgotten. The pink aquamarine tunnels of dolphin ecstasy, Ulrich knows of them too.”

I am flabbergasted. 

“Take me to your world!” I beg him

“Sure. And you will experience it as me.”

And thus, he leads me to an EVA pod straight out of 2001 A Space Odyssey

Chapter 8 

Los Angeles, USA 

It’s so sunny here, goodness. Today, I have several important musical dates. I am meeting Flea. Incredible. All these years after the RHCP adventures of 9th grade, I am finally meeting the deities responsible. One Hot Minute. So many questions. Need to ask him about that solo on Nobody Weird Like Me too.