#that shit's getting updated before halloween i stg. i know i might not but im hopeful

[squiddybeifong]

DianaZee for “Blood? Oh, its not mine”?

I’ve given up on finding old prompt lists in my drafts but im p sure it was a dialogue prompt maybe?? Anyways I hope you like it darling 💕💕💕

“Blood? Oh, it’s not mine!”

–

Zachary could only perch his hands on his hips as he looked over the once-clean remains of Shadowcrest’s foyer, his nose scrunching at the overwhelming scent of cat food that hung in the air. Skye had the good graces to look remorseful at the sheer amount of shrimp pate that laid on the old floors, but Teekl jumped from Klarion’s arms to rub against his leg. The cat’s loud purring was practically mocking the magician as he bounced around, traipsing through his impromptu food-castle.

Well, less a castle more wannabe-Sphinx imitation, but the idea behind it still stood. 

The Zatara looked far from amused, his head tilting to the side as he felt the far-off force of his cousin’s aura preparing to appear. Zach turned on his heel at Zee’s awful timing, hoping that the pizza rolls were done and that the three of them could hang out in peace, cat food cafeteria be damned. He clicked his tongue and called over his shoulder to the two over the dull thrum of the toaster oven, “Your cat’s mess, your job cleaning it up!”

Klarion rolled his eyes and picked his familiar up before he could get his paws dirty, “Rude.”

Skye let out a soft laugh, tiptoeing past the faux-fence of cat food cans and crouching to get a better peek at whether or not the pate sculpture was stable –the last thing she needed was to take a cat food bath in these new boots. Had he been able to stay the giant, edible version of Teekl would’ve needed a reinforced neck but for now it was no matter. 

The mystic’s voice was a drawl as she stood back up. Skye halfheartedly waved in the direction of the door that Zach disappeared through, “You know he’s always grumpy. Once the Purramid’s down he’ll help out.”

The blonde kept her face ducked at the groan that her pun caused, not able to hold back her snickers. She stepped to the side and hopped back around the cans, nudging Klarion’s elbow with her own, “Now come on, you two! That part looks really unstable–”

Right on cue, with all the flourish of a magician of her standard, Zatanna stepped out of a portal into the foyer. Her brows furrowed as the scent hit her then her eyes widened as her heels slipped in the cat food. A gasp huffed out of her as she kicked the sculpture to just barely maintaine her balance, the precariously balanced pate in the shape of Teekl’s head toppling to the side and falling onto her shoulders.

The squish! was followed by a half second’s pause as Zee blinked down at herself. The two teens took simultaneous steps back. Zatanna spat out a minced piece of shrimp, her nose scrunching –and inadvertently causing some juice to drip down her face– before her cousin’s name rumbled out of her, “ZACHARY!!!”

She shook her shoulders, “Doof, ffo!” 

Sapphire eyes narrowed as she stared down at her outfit; everything white was now stained pink and there were still bits of cat food lodged in her fishnets and inside her buttons. Zatanna shook aside the annoying ordeal that dry cleaning her tux would be and ran a frustrated hand through her drenched curls, the other perching in a fist on her hip as she stared down the two– well, three mystics. 

Teekl let out an indignant “mrouw!” as Klarion pulled him closer to his chest, the witch boy more than wary enough to not test the magician. Skye shifted under the glare, her eyes flicking to where Zach was still moving about the kitchen, although his steps were far more hesitant with his cousin’s aura around.

Bending to pick up the fallen head, an incredulous sound slipped out of the magician as the pate’s nose crumbled away, “What is this?”

Skye rubbed the back of her arm, wincing a bit as she fully considered just how much food they had impulse-bought –damn those bogo sales, “Teekl’s idea.”

Zatanna blinked, her face somehow not nearly as deadpan as her voice, “Of course.”

–

Once Shadowcrest was clean and Zachary and his friends had disappeared somewhere or the other, Zatanna let her shoulders relax. She figured they’d be fine and let out a grumble as she tiredly commanded, “Nepo a latrop kcab ot ym tnemtrapa.” 

Despite sunset being long over, the only light was coming from the bedroom when the mystic appeared just inside her front door. She felt the remnants of Diana’s shower in the air and the idea of taking a long bath plus getting cuddled after brought a smile to the magician’s face. She let out a little groan as she put her hat on the hook and began unbuttoning her soaked jacket, the buttons popping out with an obnoxious squish! and some splatter.  

She heard Diana shift in bed, “Zee?”

“Just got in!”

“Finally,” The Amazon sing-songed out. Diana’s voice was light as she rolled out from under the sheets and strolled towards the door. Zee worked on untying her bowtie, tilting her face towards the bedroom door as Diana drawled, “And here I was worrying I’d have to start withou– HOLY HERA ARE YOU OKAY?!!!”

Immediately the warrior was at her magician’s side, her hands patting at the stains that covered almost every inch of her once-white undershirt. Zatanna’s mouth opened to explain but Diana cut her off, “ZEE!!!”

A pained sound escaped her as she held her lover’s forearms, “THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD!!!”

“Blood?” Zee looked down at herself, an exasperated laugh escaping as she realized what was wrong. Chuckling a bit, more out of exhaustion than anything, Zatanna murmured, “Oh no, no, no, Love…” 

She slipped off a glove and cupped the warrior’s face, internally blanching at how gruesome the liquid appeared as some inadvertently spread on Diana’s cheek. She could only hope her smile was reassuring enough, “Don’t worry; it’s not mine.”

That confidence obviously had the wrong affect; Wonder Woman let out a wondrously horrified squeak, “You don’t kill!”

Zee shook her head, “It’s not human.” 

Diana’s face scrunched up in half confusion, half alarm and the magician accepted that her brain wasn’t working all too well after those double-length shows with the clean-up encore. Zee lifted her red-soaked hand into the air, “Or even blood.”

A navy blink was her response and Zatanna shrugged, “Cat food.”

Diana slowly nodded, her shoulders relaxing as she continued patting her lover’s arms and sides, glad when she felt no injuries. The Amazon wiped at her girlfriend’s forehead and then pressed a kiss just below her hairline, “Should I even ask why?” 

“Zachary’s friends are weird but they’re teens so it’s okay that they’re making a mess of Dad’s– of my house.”

“You’re kind of a mess too,” Diana lightly teased. She lazily popped open one of the highest button’s on Zee’s undershirt and flicked aside a bit of shrimp from her collar, “And still too gloopy for a bath but I feel like you really need one.”

A hopeful pair of sapphire eyes gazed up at her and the princess pecked Zee’s forehead again, “I’ll start the water.”

Strolling to the bathroom and turning on the faucet, Diana plopped down on the bathtub’s rim as she watched Zee follow her in, peeling off the rest of her drenched clothes as she went.

Diana watched her for a moment, casually ogling as she leaned her weight on her palms. Zatanna met her gaze and winked, her tired smile charming despite the splotches of not-blood that coated most of her. 

Tilting her head at the thought Diana looked down at herself, standing and tossing aside her cat food splattered nightgown. She glanced at the tub –big enough to fit them both– and undressed completely, navy eyes sliding shut as she sat on the porcelain rim again. For a moment she listened to the sound of the magician muttering under her breath, the whirl of clothes flying up out of the hamper to make a load in the washing machine, and the flush of the water pooling in the tub behind her. After the scare of Zee’s appearance, the quiet that befell them was a really nice change of pace to her usual schedule whenever she was outside of San Francisco; so wonderfully domestic. 

Her chest was light at how comfortable they’d gotten in the scant few weeks of living together and Diana let her head drop back as she sighed happily, the sound morphing into an incredulous laugh as the scent of cat food finally hit her. Diana giggled and ran a hand through her hair, wondering just how much of a crime scene the apartment looked. The words slipped out of her, more fond than humorous, “You mystics are insane.”

Zatanna clicked her tongue, unable to hold back her smile as she strolled towards her lover. Stopping right in front of her, Zee smiled as Diana stood to steal a kiss. The magician’s words were teasing in between their lips, “Says the eternally God-fighting demigoddess.”

Snickering, Diana pulled back to boop their noses. She fought off another swell of disbelief at the realization that she had not-blood on her nose and swooped down for another kiss to distract herself. She hummed as she wrapped Zatanna in a hug, a girlish trill escaping as the mage stood on her feet so she didn’t have to hunch. 

Her smile was broad enough to disrupt their kiss and Diana nuzzled their noses together, “Well, not everyone can keep up with such sauciness, my Mistress of Magic–”

Zee cut her off with another kiss.