#that mahiru would not want peko to be punished in turn. despite what peko might think herself)

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Side Hope: Aftermath

Author: @deliriousgummi

Rating/ Warnings: T for mention of things in game and DR3 Side: Despair

For: @pearltoroses

Prompt: Set after DR3 Hope Arc where they just kind of talk about despair

Author’s note: Hey! I apologise for how late this is! Komahina is my ultimate OTP so I hope I did it justice :). I took ‘despair’ in the prompt as the events that took place in the game. I really enjoyed writing this so i hope you’ll like reading this too. Thanks for reading! :D

The summer heat still hung in the air despite being mostly washed out by the serenity of the night. A peaceful atmosphere drifted through, leaving the brown haired teen with a sense of calm. The pale yellow orb glowed in the starry night above, radiating its soft light upon the quarterdeck. Hinata laid back on a makeshift bed – just a bench covered with a piece of cloth – , soaking in the constant sounds of the whirring fan and the lapping waves.

He made no sign of movement, just the occasional rise and fall of the chest as he gazed up blankly at the ceiling. His mind stayed empty other than the reviewing and replaying of past events, letting them pass by with no particular thought. It was rather strange to remain in this happy dreamlike ending after everything, almost too perfect. He let out a sigh; he of all people should know nothing horribly tragic would occur. Just as he was swinging his legs to the side about to return to the cabin, the faint tap of footsteps alerted him to another’s presence.

“Hm? You’re still awake out here?”

Hinata changed to a sitting position, turning to face his new companion with a warm smile.  “And you? We’re only reaching Jabberwock Island by dawn, Komaeda.”

A brief chuckle reverberated through the air before settling back to its usual raspy voice that Hinata so became fond of, “True, sleep is something we’ve all been lacking. May I sit?”

“Yeah. Come on, there’s plenty of room on the bench.”

The messy, white-haired teen beamed, his smile reaching his eyes signalling its genuity. He leaned against the wall, taking Hinata’s right as the other scooted over to give him more space. The two stared at the nothing in front of them, indulging in the placidity that was so hard to obtain nowadays.

Hinata turned his head yet again, this time fixing his eyes on the steadily ticking clock situated on the paper white wall, rocking in turn with the ship.

tick

“So why are you awake anyway?” He started. Might as well begin their inevitable conversation and enjoy his friend’s company while it lasted.

“Ah, I was just cleaning. Since I couldn’t sleep I thought I should just clean up. I do have experience in that regard after all.”

“Hm, this place is becoming a bit of a sty. Though I did mention earlier we were arriving in the morning, it wouldn’t do to leave this place so dirty. When was the last time we mopped the decks? The party?”

“Yeah,” Komaeda stated, returning a light-hearted smile. “So what about you? Can’t sleep? Such brilliant hopes like you should get adequate rest.”

Hinata nodded, unable to find the energy to dissuade another of Komaeda’s rambles. He thought back to Hope’s Peak Academy and the events that transpired there. He thought back to his time as Kamukura and the scientist’s excited murmurs. He thought back to the Steering Committee and the nameless student council and Junko. He thought back to despair, hope, his fascination, his boredom, everything and the galaga clip…

“Do you want to head to the deck? There’s a pretty nice view right now.” The auburn haired boy took a look at Komaeda’s grey-green optics, noticing their underlying concern.

“Sure.”

tock

Komaeda wasn’t kidding about the view. Millions of sparkling stars shone bright in the seemingly endless abyss of night, shades of purples and blues and blacks gleaming through the clouds. It was the simple depiction of nocturne.

They took a seat on the ground, feeling the ruffle of plastic fake grass.

Hinata sucked in a breath, “Can we talk?” He paused, bracing himself for all the memories he carefully hid  behind lock and key. “About the killing game that is.”

Komaeda stared at him, most likely in puzzlement though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion, “Are you sure?”

He couldn’t exactly blame the other for his hesitation. There has not been a night where he himself have not woken up in cold sweat, the events of the past flashing vividly in his mind, haunting him from their grave. He had to remind himself: they all experienced this. If anything, Komaeda was the most numb to this, given his past experiences that Hinata determined as the truth. Giving him a nod, he began his talking, “I need to. If not, I would never be able to move past it.”

“Shall I start then?” Hinata gave a sign of approval as Komaeda proceeded, “I must say it’s still a shock that I wasn’t killed that day at the party. I planned everything to become a stepping stone to hope but I guess I’m just trash.”

“Don’t talk like that.” Hinata sighed as Komaeda gave a slight laugh. He would be unable to stop his self loathing but he could at least try. “You know you really are headstrong. I wish you would be able to see the good in you that I do.”

At that, Komaeda gave a blank stare.

“Anyway, I really wish you didn’t plan that murder. You have no idea how heartbreaking it was for us to see Toga- I mean Sagishi like that…” Stumbling across his words, Hinata made a mental note to not call his classmate that. It was a habit he had yet to correct and while Imposter was still unwilling to share his name, it was at least a sign that trust was slowly growing between them as he now refused to don his masks. The name still had negative implications but they would bridge the gap. They surely would.

“Haha, yeah. I will let you know that you cannot change my beliefs but please do know I will never endanger anyone here again. Moving past that, Monokuma’s punishment for Teruteru was really cruel… To turn such a brilliant hope’s talent against himself, it really is despairing.”

Hinata winced, recalling the painful screams that echoed through the screen as he saw his friend go through inexplicable torture. It was there and then that he was reminded of the cruel reality that awaited them at that island. But now after that simulation, they are now each other’s pillars of support, slowly building up each other and be their source of comfort.

We will always be there for each other

tick

“The motive that Monokuma prepared for the second trial really was a low blow. I can never forgive Junko for that. Such despair like that is unforgivable.”

The reminder of that trial still exists in the form of Fuyuhiko’s scar across his eye though it was obtained from a previous, different event. It was difficult to remember that the cause was something else however, They all still blame themselves for it; it’s so painfully evident in their eyes.

“Yeah. And to learn that Twilight Syndrome was actually real. That really hurt Fuyuhiko and Peko and Mahiru.” And our whole class too by extension. Hinata continued, afraid of the sudden influx of images that will surface in his mind when he stops, “I was actually growing closer to Natsumi during that time. She really was a great friend even if others didn’t see it. It definitely would help if she stopped bullying and picking on Mahiru and Sato, I wish she did in fact but… her desire to be with her big brother. I have to say she was one of the influences in my decision to turn to Kamukura. And I can’t say I was ever close to Sato but her devotion to Mahiru was undeniable. It’s just wishful thinking but there are days where I just hope they were both still alive and breathing and living here with us.”

It wasn’t just them. Hinata dearly missed his family despite their terrible decision to let him sign on for the project. He missed that he would never again see their faces and kind smiles as they led him through the harsh depths of reality.

None of them would ever. Not Akane and her seven siblings, not Ibuki and her ex bandmates, not Sonia and her beloved subjects, not Gundham and his mother, not Souda and his parents, not anyone…

“You know, it really is hard to recall Hiyoko’s reaction to Mahiru’s death. It’s also really heartbreaking for the execution too,” Hinata carried on speaking, desperate to change the topic, even to one that might be equally bad. Komaeda offered a look of understanding and silence to allow him to vent. “When we reach the island, let’s offer them all a shrine. Taking after Hiyoko’s idea, that may be the best way for us to grieve and remember them.”

“That is a wonderful idea. I’m sure the others will appreciate it dearly.”

“Don’t forget about your parents and dog too. We need to make one for them too.”

Komaeda stared, stunned and shocked. Slowly, he gave a small laugh, expressing all of his gratefulness and muttered, “Thank you.”

They might be gone physically from this world but they will still remain in Class 77’s hearts and minds. Forever.

tock

“Actually, you were quite sick during the Despair Disease weren’t you. I mean your current illnesses probably made it worst. What was it again? Stage 3 malignant lymphoma and frontotemporal dementia?”

“You’re right. I’m surprised you remembered that, especially since I told you that it was a lie. That’s quite a bit of trust that you are willing to place in trash like me.”

“I told you to quit that. You never listen to do,” Hinata mumbled, shaking his head as he started again in a louder tone of voice, “I really am glad you’re better now. It was quite a scare.”  

“I apologise for that.” Komaeda provided a carefree smile, though it was immediately noticeable to someone close that it hid sadness deep underneath.

“You know you can talk to me right? Even anyone here. We told that to Mikan and that applies to you too.”

“This much be such amazing luck that you’re taking such interest in me. I can’t begin to imagine the bad luck that will befall me later.” He tugged at his jacket and pulled it closer, an action that did not go unnoticed by his partner and spoke again before he could object, “Mikan is a surprisingly good actress when it comes to it. Well, that could be debated by the despair she was under.”

Hinata nodded; no one had really suspected her of the brutal murders of Hiyoko and Ibuki before the trial. It added onto the hopelessness with the sudden disruption of Hiyoko’s and Fuyuhiko’s working towards a change of attitude towards the group plus the the interruption of Ibuki’s concert. It added on to Nekomaru’s presence in the hospital, in the battle of life and death and the appearance of the Despair Disease.

“Thinking back on it, that’s where we first learnt about Junko. Or at least alerted to her existence,” Hinata hummed. Komaeda only nodded in response, clearly deep in his own mind.

It hurt to think of Mikan’s ranting, to learn that their friend, no, their whole class was capable of such terrible deeds after Junko’s brainwashing. It could be said that wasn’t and was them.

But… that is their past. The future is what they look to for a better them. The future is why they keep walking despite all the pain. The future is… where they are now.

tick

“Nekomaru’s and Gundham’s trial, huh?” Komaeda put up a hand to his chin, hand brushing against his off-white hair strands.

“That had been one of the bigger shocks in my opinion. Murder directly conflicted with Gundham’s morals at the island,” his thoughts immediately flew to the animal breeder, the bicoloured haired teen’s chuunibyou nature masking a kind soul for both humans and animals alike. “I’m glad his Four Dark Devas of destruction are still safe, multiplied even.”

“And Nekomaru is back to his regular state too. I can’t say that I ever got used to his robotic form. It was just downright strange.”

“You got that right.”

Hinata reflected back to each of their awakenings. They were all out of order from the killings, dependent on the victim's’ mental state and how they died. Gundham and Nekomaru were quite close to each other in terms of when they woke: Gundham first, celebrated by being surrounded by his animal partners and Souda’s thankful sigh and Sonia’s tears of relief and Nekomaru about two people after, accompanied by Akane’s immediate declaration of a challenge as a sign of a weight being pulled from her shoulders. They all had their closest somebody’s back to them.

Recovery would be slow but it is definitely there.

tock

“If there was a ranking of how shit these trials were, the fifth one has to be at the top. You don’t know how hard it was…”

“I apologise but I cannot say that I regret my decision. I simply did what I thought would best fit the situation. At that time, Chiaki really was the only hope left there,” Komaeda said, a small but understanding smile lingering on his face.

“You really are a weird enigma. To be honest I’m not sure if I should but I forgive you. That’s what I want at least,” Hinata uttered, soft but powerful words echoing it’s meaning. “One thing I regret though, is not getting to know Chiaki further.”

He had no idea why he mumbled that but he needs to get it out, to let someone know.

“She.. she was practically my guiding light before I met all of you. Before all of this bullshit ever happened in the first place. I miss playing games with her, getting to know her. In the simulation even, she kept guiding me. She was probably my closest friend there after you stopped talking with me and being friends with me. And in both lifes, I pretty much condemned her to death…”

Komaeda glanced, a worried look plastered on his face. His hand hung in midair, probably unsure whether stopping or letting it continue was the best choice. Hinata paid no heed to it and continued.

“When I was Izuru, I let everything happen. I never stopped Junko or protect all of you. I just… watched her bleed out in front of me. And even as myself, even if it was forced, I had to pick her as the culprit. I just watched again, watched her be crushed by that by that stupid bear!”

At this point, small teardrops started dripping down from his eyes. They fell onto his clenched hands, blending in with the sweat that had started to gather. At this point, he didn’t care. He just needed to cry.

“I’m sorry… I don’t exactly know how to respond in this situation. I think maybe this would help though.”

Before he could understand Komaeda’s words, Hinata was pulled into an embrace. He felt the comforting warmth of his companion. He leaned in, desperate to find support from within his close friend, burying his face in the cotton of the now soaked t-shirt.

“Thank you,” Hinata managed to get those words out under his increasing sobs. Komaeda’s hands delicately caressed the side of his face and that action continued until the the other raised his head and muttered.

“Let me ask of you one more request.”

Hinata pressed his lips against Komaeda’s smooth one. He could taste the vague taste of mint, most likely from his toothpaste, as he eased in, taking in a sense of both solace and pleasure.

As he was satisfied getting what he wanted, he pulled away, leaving Komaeda with a stunned look and a inscrutable stare.

Then, Komaeda laughed. It was full with joy and so genuine.

“I really do love the hope within you from the bottom of my heart,” he beamed, twinkling with such a brightness.

The two of them moved closer to each other, enjoying the company of the other as the seagulls start calling in a rhythmic beat. A sweetened honey atmosphere rested over the two, covering them like a blanket of security.

tick

“We’re here.”