#that just has me go ''???? i don't understand help''

[liddolwitch]

I have a canvas tote that I'll fill with things I might need on days where I'm not able to move much from bed. It includes some PRN medications, a portable stash of coloring supplies, whatever book I'm reading in that moment, little snacks, things to drink (and hydration mix). I call it my lo-mo (low-mobility) bag and it's incredibly helpful, especially since I can take all of that with me from room to room as needed. I invested in a 3-in-1 messenger bag that can be carried like a purse with 2 handles, as a messenger bag with an over-the-shoulder strap, or as a backpack. It's very, very useful when I need to use my cane.

I made a custom card with my medical info that I keep in a lanyard. On the front, which is the only part visible, it says "MEDICAL INFO on back", so if I faint, fall, or go mute, all of the necessary information is available. It includes my conditions, my blood type, my current medications, and details that I may go mute. It also specifies that I can hear and understand spoken language while I'm mute and describes the ASL sign for "mute" so I can use it to indicate that case.

At least in my area, it is still considered reasonable to mask even if it's not typical. Although some people may ask why you still mask, there are many answers that will avoid any need to disclose your own information if you're uncomfortable just saying no. My go-to is to explain that I'm often around infants because of my large family.

It is essential for me that I have hard rules on when I need to go to the Emergency Room. When negative experiences build up, it's difficult to avoid the dread and having a hard rule can push you to go when you need to. For me, two hard rules are fever or vomiting (specifically if I can't keep water down). It's a game-changer for me to have times where I'm not allowed to argue against myself.

You are not alone. I find it a bit funny, but I found most community in other fans of Viktor from Arcane. Express interest in your interests! Put yourself out there when and where you can. I live in an area where I don't have much opportunity to engage with other disabled folks in person. Seeing other people talk about their experiences has made all the difference.

I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.

Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.

If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.

Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.

Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.

Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.

Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.

Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".

If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.

Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.

Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.

Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.

If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.

Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.

High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.

You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.

Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.

You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.

Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.

If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.

Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!

[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug Like Angel

pt3

What's wrong with me?

After a while you rush downstairs, excited to tell everyone all about your trip and how fun it was.

You're excited to tell them all about how smart you are and how Liz Allan is considering you for an internship!

You're excited to tell them about how you and your friends didn't get in trouble and how most of the class was uninterested other than you!

You're excited to tell them about how you're so thankful for this trip!

You're excited to tell them how you even learned about Ozcorp!

You're so excited to tell everyone about how you were asking so many questions and how you even got to meet Liz Allan at all!

You find Tim on the couch watching TV while also on his phone.You ran up to him and sat next to him on the couch.

"Hey Tim!" you started rambling about your trip and your friends, not noticing him giving you a stink eye. You weren't the most observant person.

In the middle of you talking about how your friend tripped while you guys were learning about their projects, he got up and left.

"Hey, where are you going?" you asked while tilting your head.

"I need to do something, homework came up," he said, not even looking at you.

You knew he was lying.

Well, you tried...

Next up, you tried to tell Dick.

He was in Bludhaven, so you could only text him.

You've probably texted him over a million times, and he's probably only replied, like, twice.

You wish you could say "That's just how he was with everyone!" but you know it's not true. You can't lie to yourself like that.

You've seen how he treats everyone else.

How he treats Damian the way you wish you were treated by him at his age.

How he goes out to hang out with Tim.

How he checks up on Jason.

None of which has ever been done with you.

He never replied to your text, he has always had your notifications silenced anyway.

You tried telling Bruce, but he was busy trying to figure out a case. He didn't mean to ignore you! he was just..busy..like always.

There isn't much to say, other than how you're not sure this is how fathers are supposed to treat their kids.

When you were younger, you saw how your friends dads treated their kids like they were the light of their life.

And the truth was that they probably were, unlike you.

You tried telling Alfred, and he did listen! ..but he had to go help Bruce and Tim so he had to leave mid-conversation.

Duty calls.

You tried talking to Damian, but all he did was tell you you were "pathetic for being excited over something so trivial". Before sharpening his katana in an intimidating way.

You backed off.

Last but not least, you tried telling Jason.

You got excited and started jumping in place while talking about it only for him to shoo you away and yell at you for interrupting him while he was reading.

You froze and teared up when you got yelled at, you tried hiding it but even he noticed.

You stayed in your room the rest of the day.

You tried playing your guitar to calm you down only for you to break a string somehow.

Yikes. Today is not your day.

By dinnertime, you were starving.

You forgot to grab breakfast while trying to talk to the others, and you were crying when it was time for lunch due to Jason yelling at you.

You went downstairs to eat with everyone, eyes still puffy and red from crying. You were hungry.

While walking downstairs, you could hear everyone laughing and chatting together.

As soon as you appeared in the room, it went silent and the room got tense.

It stayed that way until you left.

You finally got to your room.

You don't understand.

What's wrong with you?

Your body? Face? Your hair? How you speak? How you dress?

They keep you guessing.

What's wrong with you?

Could it them?

It's probably you!

Why won't they just listen for once?!

It's clear you want them near you, you need attention, you need them.

You feel yourself start crying again.

"Please don't ignore me." you whisper to yourself.

Suddenly the room is spinning, you feel like you're melting, and everything's wrong with you!

The bite itches, it burns, you just wanna sleep, you're well rested, you feel like you're melting, why can't it stop?!

Everything's going wrong!

You're tired of them! Tired of Dicks dumb excuses on why you two could never hang out! Tired of Jason's constant pushing you away! Tired of Tim always leaving you! Tired of Damian always attacking you, verbally and physically! Tired of Alfred always defending everyone but you! Tired of your father dismissing you!

You wanna cry. You wanna cry and scream and hit something.

Maybe you should stop trying. You're the only one who cares.

You can't keep pretending you're fine.

You've decided to stop caring about them.

You think you deserve better.

You aren't sure.

You don't think you'll ever be.

Who are you really?

oml this is kinda bad...

guys trust in future chapters i WILL be including more of the spider stuff🙏🙏🙏 its on its way

everyones prolly ooc i dont know what im on about

guys pls sned asks and stuff and interact its wjat keeps me goimg 🙏

also should inpost my series on ao3 question mark

taglist: @bath1lda @mariadvorak

[harunayuuka2060]

Azul(?): What does this mean? Are you protecting them?

MC(?): The guests haven't violated any rules.

Azul(?): He was alone. Surely, that gives me the right to—

MC(?): It is forbidden to harm guests who have been following the rules. I urge you to be patient and wait for the hunt. *bows their head*

Azul(?): ...

Azul(?): I will let this slide for now. *glances at Kalim and Riddle before turning away*

Kalim: Wh-Whew... That was a close call...

Riddle: Kalim! What were you thinking, running off on your own?!

Kalim: Sorry... I heard a kid crying for help—

Riddle: We don’t have the luxury of worrying about anyone else right now! Do you understand?!

Kalim: Y-Yes...

Kalim: *glances at MC*

*Kalim saw the glint of concern dance in their eyes for a second, even as their expression remained stoic.*

Kalim: !

Riddle: Kalim!

Kalim: Y-Yes... I'm sorry...

Leona: The "hunt"?

Riddle: Yes. I wasn’t able to ask, but it seems we’ll all be killed on that day.

Azul: That’s all the more reason to escape this place.

Azul: But the question is... how?

The dorm leaders: ...

Malleus: We haven't fully explored our options yet.

Vil: Are you suggesting we conduct an investigation?

Malleus: If we remain isolated in this room, we won't be able to accomplish anything. Additionally, I think we are safest when we stay together in pairs.

Leona: That idea would be great, but the question is, would those doppelgangers just stand by while we roam this place?

Malleus: If push comes to shove, we’ll just have to eliminate them.

Idia: No, no. We're not doing that.

Leona: I agree with Radish Sprout here. Also, how are you so sure we can beat them, huh?

Malleus: Are you scared, Kingscholar?

Leona: Ha! Why? You think it’s baseless? Then why not ask Vil?

Malleus: Schoenheit?

Vil: ...

Vil: When no one was looking, Kalim’s doppelganger snuck up on me from behind.

*The room went silent.*

Azul: Why didn't you tell us this sooner, Vil-san?

Vil: I don’t see the point of it. However, we should be cautious. None of you noticed. He could’ve dragged me away, and it would’ve been too late.

The rest of them: ...

*Someone knocks on the door.*

Leona: Who is it?

MC(?): It's me.

Kalim: *opens the door*

Azul: Kalim— *sigh*—Nevermind.

Leona: What's your business here?

MC(?): ...

MC(?): These are not enough, but…

*MC(?) rolled up their sleeves, revealing small daggers embedded in the flesh of their arms. They stifled grunts of pain as they carefully pulled each one out.*

*The dorm leaders stared at them, horrified, and felt pity as they witnessed the scene.*

Vil: Potato...

MC(?): *blood still dripping from their arms*

MC(?): Please use these to protect yourselves.

Leona: Oi, Fake Herbivore, why are you doing this?

MC(?): ...

MC(?): There can't be two in the same world... One must die. I sincerely hope... it won't be any of you.

Leona(?): You should've been more generous with the weapons you offered. What could those little daggers possibly do, hm?

Leona(?): *has grabbed MC(?)'s hair*

Kalim(?): The hunt is approaching. Could it be that they've done this to make it more thrilling? *giggles*

Azul(?): In that case, this punishment is meaningless.

Malleus(?): I agree.

Leona(?): *shoves MC(?) to the ground, with Malleus(?) catching them*

MC(?): ...

Malleus(?): It's alright, my dearest. I understand that you still desire fairness.

MC(?): You are kind.

Azul(?): *looks displeased*

*Azul(?) dragged MC(?) to his room and started stabbing them, while they made no effort to resist.*

Azul(?): I'm angry...

Azul(?): Really... angry...

MC(?): I understand...

Azul(?): YOU DON'T!

MC(?): ...

Azul(?): *his voice softens* You... Your smile... Where did that go?

MC(?): ...

MC(?): I don't understand... what you're asking me.

Azul(?): ...

Azul(?): *releases them, his expression shifts back to its usual cold demeanor*

Azul(?): They will never escape this place. *leaving MC alone*

MC(?): ...

MC(?): I must hurry...

[sheeple]

Part two to this. This series also has a title now: John has liked your photo! Hope you enjoy this as much as last time. Does it also show how little I know about kissing?

The second time you and John see each other in a cafe in the city centre. This time it's you who suggests meeting up. It made John feel giddy and like a schoolboy again when your text lit up his phone screen.

Your anxiousness made you way too early — as usual. But not too soon after, John appears in the cafe, also way too early. It makes you giggle.

"What is your go-to coffee order?", you ask while waiting in line, eyeing the menu and the delicious-looking pastries.

John hums, his hands clasped behind his back. "I hate to disappoint you, doll, but I'm a black coffee guy. Or tea."

Turning towards him with your eyes wide, not knowing if it is because of the nickname or the confession to drink coffee with nothing in it. "Not even some milk?"

He shakes his head with a smile. "None. If I'm in shipped out I'm happy to get a cuppa so I got used to the stuff raw."

Now you feel stupid for your usual very sweet coffee order. John sees the subtility in your face and he bumps his shoulder against yours. "Well, you are what you eat. So no wonder you're so sweet."

It makes your face heat up and you stumble over your words, not sure how to get out a response.

The line quickly moves along and John orders his black coffee and you your white chocolate mocha. Before he has time to grab his wallet, you've whipped out your phone and paid for it. You give him a daring smile while giving your name.

The two of you go sit in a quiet corner and wait for the coffee to arrive. You are telling some story about what has happened at work this week and halfway your name gets called out. John holds out his hand so you can stay put, and he grabs the order.

"Sorry, go on", he says with a smile when he returns with the coffees, placing yours in front of you with the ear facing your dominant hand.

"So", you say after finishing your story, "we haven't really talked about what we seek. You know... with dating and such." You nervously trace the rim of the glass, glancing up at the man.

John's leaning relaxed back into the chair, his legs spread wide and a comfortable smile on his face. "Gauging the vibe, doll?"

You can't help but feel your cheeks heat up again as you slink slightly down. "Maybe. Wouldn't want to waste your time if you want something completely different than me." You shrug, trying to play it cool.

That makes him lean forward a bit. "You sayin' that your time's less valuable than mine?"

That leaves you gaping like a fish. And it makes John crack a cheeky smile, showing he's teasing you.

"So do I have to worry about crazy exes or something?", he asks with a smile.

You shrug, putting your hair behind your ear. "Don't have to worry about something that's never been there", you say casually, taking a sip of your drink.

John's eyes bulge out of their sockets. Did he hear you correctly? Have you never dated anyone? How could such a wonder as you not have boys and men lined up and down the street, jumping for just a glance from you?

"Do I?", you ask timidly at his wide eyes and no response.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he clears his throat. Now is the time to come clean. "I mean... not like you have to worry about her, but there is my ex-wife."

"Wife?!" You clasp a hand over your mouth as you said that a bit too loud. "A-and for how long are you divorced? If I may ask, at least."

John smiles at your bashfulness. "Almost two years. We were married just short of a year. It was impulsive and I quickly discovered that being married to her wasn't as great as I thought it would be."

Unconsciously, you reach out and take hold of his hand. You can understand how hard it is to admit something like that to practically a stranger. "It must have been hard, going through that time in your life. Never mind the judgement of others."

He nods. "Something like that. It was more of the pitying glances of my family and their comments that got me at first. Their opinions about her and me and our relationship weren't always the kindest. But you get used to it and after a while, you get desensitized."

As you open your mouth to say something, a call of your name makes the two of you turn your heads. "Oh lord", you mumble as your aunt and cousin come walking towards the two of you.

"How are you, dear? " your aunt smiles widely, pulling you up for a hug. "I haven't seen you in a while! How's school? Oh, right. Your mum told me you quit and are working now. How do you like it? And who is this?" She turns her attention towards John.

The man dutiful stands up and offers his hand to your aunt. "John Price, ma'am."

From behind your aunt, you see your cousin lean over and mouth the words, "Who's that?", to you. "Date", you mouth back. She checks him once over and nods in appreciation.

"Oh mum, didn't you say you needed to go to that one store before it closes?", asks your cousin loudly, pulling the attention from your aunt.

"Right! It was lovely meeting you, John. See you next time, dear." Your aunt kisses both your cheeks as a goodbye before pulling her daughter behind her. You just know you'll get a text from her later on to demand the tea.

"I am so sorry", you laugh as you sit back down, hiding your face behind your hands.

John joins you and shakes his hands. "It's fine. Aunts are kinda my speciality."

"Really?"

"No", he smiles.

The rest of the afternoon goes by with smiles and laughs and good conversation until the staff has to, again like last time, kick you out and you're reluctant to say goodbye to John.

He walked to your car. It cracked him up to see the bright yellow car that lights up when you press the unlock button. Oh, how fitting of you to drive such an eyesore.

You hoover by the door, fiddling with your keys. "I had a really good time today, John." You shyly look up, your cheeks radiating heat.

John slowly inches closer, laying a hand on your cheek. "I did too." His eyes flicker between your own and your lips. You can't help but swipe your tongue over your bottom lip before taking it between your teeth.

"I desperately wanted to kiss you all day. Can I kiss you?"

Looking at him, you nod, searching for the right words. Stumbling out a 'yeah', John closes the distance and lightly presses his lips against yours.

Not knowing what to do, you lean into the kiss and close your eyes. John slides his other hand around your middle to pull you flush against his body. Your hands feel awkward so you replicate what you've seen over the years in movies and TV and place them first on his shoulders before sliding to the back of his neck.

A soft grumble comes from deep within his chest before you pull back, feeling like you are going to pass out if you don't. Either from the lack of air or your first-ever kiss.

Smiling wide, John rests his forehead against yours. "How am I to drive away from you now, doll."

You shrug, still slightly out of breath. "I'm wondering that myself." A giggle escapes you, licking your lips. "But I really have to go through... My parents are waiting for me. We're going to my grandma..."

"Those blasted parents of yours", teases John, letting go of you. "But if you have to go. Text me when you get home safe?"

You nod, opening your car door. "Will do. You too?"

John nods with a smile and watches how you drive away. Dear God. Is he crazy that he could envision the rest of his life together with you after the second date?

[omamervt]

oh my god every one of these replies is so stupid. I was content when it was just one to block and move on but y'all kept going, Jesus.

From top to bottom:

"Review embargoes are good, though!"

If you wanna miss the point, I can help you understand. If you're just wrong, I can try and help you see why. But if you're gonna be wrong WHILE missing the point, nothing you have to say is worth saying.

Ignore for a moment that none of the perks of an embargo in your eyes benefit READERS, only the reviewers, their publishers, and the game's publisher. Because even if I agreed with THAT point, do you think review embargoes had a bad reputation back in the day because of the NON-toxic patterns? No! The point is that reviews aren't allowed to come out now until the game's release is so close that it's too late to inform everyone who pre-ordered that they might want to cancel! And that this went from a predictable indicator that a game was gonna suck on launch to a near-universal practice! And AGAIN, that the editors and reviewers would rather maintain a positive relationship with AAA game publishers than with their own readers!

"influencers can play and stream the game before reviews are out, as long as they stick to certain talking points and avoid others"

In other words, you can only review the game if you don't leave a bad review? do you not think that JUST MAYBE that would fall under the category of "problematic embargo pattern?"

"why are you going to a video game magazine for ttrpg news instead of like, Dicebreaker?"

oh, I don't know? Maybe BECAUSE POLYGON HAS A FUCKING TABLETOP SECTION? Maybe because as great as Rascal and Dicebreaker and the like are and need support when they do good work, it doesn't change the fact that if Polygon wants to have a Tabletop beat, they should at least try and do a good job with it? And the head of that section writing an open letter to people his department has straight-up ignored, despite them doing everything right, and saying, "be more marketable!" You can't pretend it's not a bad look. Ignoring the work of members of his own team, who are doing the thing he's saying needs to be done? You can't pretend it's not a bad look. ESPECIALLY when you acknowledge that WoTC has a LITERAL MONOPOLY on the TTRPG scene!

and shieldfoss, I know you won't see this because I blocked you because you're an idiot arguing in bad faith, but everything you said is exactly what I meant by "debating the role of a games journalist in a way that lets them off the hook for not doing their job." Because actually, it IS a journalist's job to inform their readers, not just spoon-feed them what they want to hear, with info they could just as easily get directly from WoTC.

As it stands, the likes of Polygon ARE serving as part of the marketing for major products and services. And that's a BAD thing!

Oh, and about your analogy: If I were going to an e-bike repair man, then no, I wouldn't expect him to try and sell me a new e-bike. BECAUSE HE'S NOT THE PUBLISHER OF AN E-BIKE MAGAZINE! However, I WOULD expect an e-bike magazine to keep me as up-to-date as is reasonably possible on e-bike product launches, even if it's only via reviews. I would expect them to have a handful of guys whose job was to keep their ear to the ground to research up-and-coming e-bike makers. And if one E-bike brand had a monopoly on e-bikes, I'd hope that e-bike magazine would do everything in its power to at least not COME OFF as a shill for the company that holds the monopoly.

And it's all fascinating that two out of three of these replies are, again, still largely in the context of "this is an issue with Charlie Hall, specifically, writing an article about not wanting to have to do any investigation or research to populate his TTRPG section with TTRPG articles" when, as I've been saying from the beginning, this is bigger than him. It's bigger than Polygon. Every major publication has these issues, and they have them in regards to ALL types of games, not just TTRPGs.

So no, none of these people had good points.

I've often heard people debate the role of Games Journalists and their duties relating to coverage of Games, but its usually in the context of letting them off the hook for just taking the easy route and shilling for the AAA industry.

After This Article from Polygon today, whose TTRPG beat is almost entirely covering WoTC press releases, written by the editor for the TTRPG beat, talking about how indie TTRPGs need to do better about getting press coverage themselves (hmm wonder how that would happen, Charlie!), while neglecting to highlight his own team members' work to do so, but finding plenty of time to bemoan the lack of any upcoming Curse of Strahd-tier adventure modules from WoTC?

Yeah we're done with that. No more. Don't even think about it.

[shinningdance]

Washed clean

Trying angst for the first time, tips are very welcome!!

warnings: waterboarding, flashbacks, nudity (no one sees or does anything), let me know if i need to add more

summery: After a bad mission when the enemy took you for information, they waterboarded you which left Memorys. After your team got you back, you're still having troubles.

words: 1755

The restrainments are hurting.

You keep pulling to try away, trying to get away from the water that's being poured over your face.

Your throat hurts.

The water getting down your throat results in gagging, which hasn't stopped yet.

It feels like you're drowning.

Which isn't right, it's way too little water and you're currently dodging that.

They keep talking, they want Information. Information you're not giving them, they'd have to kill you.

Every day for the last week they have been pouring water over your face, trying to get you to break.

They keep going for what feels like hours but realistically are only a few seconds up to barely a minute. But in that very moment, it can only be described as hours.

At this point, they should just end you. It would be mercy. No. No, you can't think like that, your teams gonna get you. Safe and sound.

With too much force they throw you on that stupid chair, ropes going around your arms and legs. Your head is yanked back by your hair, a cloth over you mouth and nose.

Almost immediately they throw water over your face, making you choke on it as you somehow try to dodge it. Head going left and right as the water follows.

"Dove?"

Your eyes snap open, starring at the white door fro where the voice came from. You look back and see the safe house's bathroom.

Right.

You're safe, you've been safe for the last 3 months. They saved you 3 months ago.

Water has been a touchy subject. While they understand what happened and how it might have affected your mind, they don't actually know how to help.

"Dove..? Are you alright?" The voice, Kyle, is followed by a small knock after you don't answer, again. "I'm opening the door.." He warns and very slowly looks inside.

You're sitting on the floor again, towel around your dry body and the shower is on. He doesn't need to ask what happened, he already knows.

He sits down next to you, back pressed against the marbel tiles. His arm goes behind your back and very softly grabs your waist, pulling you towards his side.

"Another flashback?" He asks, rubbing your arm.

You hum in responds, head dropping on his shoulder.

"You don't have to shower, there are other possibilities..." Kyle offers.

"My hair stinks." You counter, pointing at your hair.

"hm.." he huffs, smiling. "Think you can put your whole head under water?"

"..." You know the answer, yet you have to try. "..Maybe."

"Maybe what?" Johnny asks, stepping into the bathroom.

"Maybe i'll finally be able to wash this bird nest." You hum, watching as he flops down onto the ground next to you, leaning against the wall.

"It's not that bad..." Kyle interjects, his hand petting your head.

You stare at him, not believing him one bit. You have seen yourself, it's bad. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to step under the shower, the water on your face only bringing up bad memory's.

"He's wrong, dinnae trust 'im." Johnny whispers into your ear, earning himself a smack to the head by the other sergeant. "'ay!" He nags, rubbing the spot on his head.

"If something goes wrong just scream, yeah?" Kyle smiles, rubbing up and down on your arm.

"We'll save you from the water monsters." Johnny claims, wrapping one arm around your shoulder to pull you to himself.

You can't help but smile, nodding along to whatever they're saying. "My knights in shinning armor, hm?" You joke, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Yup." Kyle nods, standing up to give you some privacy.

You watch him leave, only for him to re-enter 2 seconds later. "Johnny, get your ass out and give the lady some space."

It's funny watching him almost bolt out, flashing you another grin before closing the door behind him.

With shaky knees you stand up, towel still around your body from your earlier attempt. The water is still running and you carefully reach out, checking the temperature. After making it's warm, you take baby steps and get in the bathtub. Washing your body isn't a problem anymore, with some help at the very start you could take small showers again. This isn't a small shower anymore, the water would be over your head, recreating the feeling you loath.

You drop the towel after getting in, making sure it stays dry. With a shaky breath you step closer, the shower head close to your face. Closing your eyes would only make it worse so you force them to stay open, making sure no one's forcing the water over your head.

It's touching your hair, a lot of the water it. One small step back and it's touching your eyebrow. The small bit of water that streams down your face is enough for you to step back out and wrap your body in the towel. Immediately walking to the bathroom door and opening it, you're face to face with the same men from earlier. With a sheepish look on your face you mumble. "I couldn't do it..."

You don't bother to look at their faces, already imagining their disappointment.

The two men look at each other before smiling at you. "Would you like some help?"

You think you misheard, how would they help you? You lift your head, looking at their determinated faces.

"I'm scared to ask but...how?" You mumbles and watch as they both start smiling.

Kyle softly grabs your shoulders and brings you back inside the bathroom, Johnny is already starting to fill the bathtub and...taking off his shirt.

"Easy." Kyle smiles and forces you to sit down on the floor again. "One will be in the water with you and the other will be washing your hair, that sound good to you?"

It takes you a small moment to process this words. In the tub. with you. One of them, not both. They would do that just so you can have normal hair again. With a small nod you watch as they prepare everything.

Kyle is grabbing your hair brush, Shampoo, conditioner and a leave in mask.

Johnny is putting stuff in the tub, lots of bubbles appearing within seconds, he keeps putting in his hand to make sure it's not too hot for you.

After a few minutes he gets in, shorts still on, and spreads his legs to make room for you. "I'm not peaking, swear!" he smiles puts both his hands in front of his face, Kyle is turning around, giving you a bit of privacy.

Slowly you let the towel drop and get in as well, back to Johnny's chest. You gather some of the bubbles and hide your body with it. Almost immediately you can feel his hands around your waist, holding you in place. You melt into him, head dropping to his shoulder.

"ay think I'm comfy" Johnny claims, his chest shaking slightly from his laughing.

"Very." Kyle affirms.

You might need to question how he would know that if you're leaning against him, but that's a question for later. Kyle slowly starts to brush your hair, adding a bit of water every now and then. He's careful to not get it anywhere near your face for now, you hardly notice, too busy chatting with your pillow.

"thank you..for doing this." You mumble, nose pressed against the side of his neck.

"Dinnae worry...we'll always help you out." Johnny smiles, one hand slightly squeezing your waist.

Kyle keeps working on your hair and every now and then you tense up, feeling the water close to your face. He places his hands by your Forehand, even if the water ran down the opposite side, it wouldn't get in your face.

You get a small warning from Kyle and a gentle squeeze of encouragement from Johnny before a bit of water streams down from the very top of your head to your ends. This repeats a few more times before you can only feel soft hands massaging your head. You hum and close your eyes, going very limp against Johnny

"Don't fall asleep now.." Kyle warns with a small chuckle, hands leaving your head to grab your towel and dry your hair for you.

"But it's no comfy..." You mumble, head pressing further into the side of Johnny's neck.

The water is still comfortably warm but the bubbles are slowly disappearing.

Kyle stands up and turns around but still holds the towel out for you. You turn your head, staring at the Scot who's eyes are already closed. You smile and slowly stand up, grabbing the towel and wrapping it around your body once more.

"Thank you again...means a lot." You mumble, drying yourself off while the guys avoid looking at you.

"Of course, no need to thank us." Kyle counters, lips turning into a small smile as he feels your form pressed against his.

"Ay, so i dinnae get a hug?" Johnny mumbles, standing up from the tub. He's completely wet but doesn't seem to care.

"Why are your eyes open? What if i was naked, huh?" You challenge, smiling as you clutch the towel to your body.

"Then i would have enjoyed the sight." He shrugs, smirk plastered onto his face as he grabs his own towel.

"Stop being a pervert." Kyle mumbles, already walking outside with the other man following.

You shake your head in amusement and start changing clothes, something comfortable.

After that you find the two men in the common room, watching some random movie. Without words you sit down between them, they don't seem to mind with the way they get closer to you.

"This is trash." Kyle groans crosses his legs.

"What?! Take 'at back!" Johnny shouts, fully offended his silly little drama show was insulted.

"There are so many better shows." Counters the other man

"nu uh. This is the best show." Johnny remarks, crossing his arms.

"What do you even like about this? Everything is so obviously fake."

"Fake like your personality-"

----------------------

"What am i looking at?" John mumbles, starring at the three sleeping people before him.

"No idea." Simon replies, equally as confused as his captain.

They were called because of some people fighting and cursing and what not and now they see this.

Kyle laying on his back, leaning against the couch.

You on top, back against chest.

And lastly, Johnny sleeping on his stomach and using your stomach as a pillow.

All three knocked out, hard.

...

"Tea?" offers John

"please" confirms Simon.

-----------------------

a/n: i've been sick since last week monday so you're going to take this and never talk that i didn't post this on the weekend :)) also not proofread!!!

[toomanyfish2]

FAV BKDK FIC RECS

split into short, medium, and long fics. under the break.

short fics

You're Mine? - Chapter 1 - s_the_queen - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

'Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya endured a long and troubled road to get to where they are now. Maybe that's why they haven't noticed that they're dating even though everyone else has!'

Chapters: 7/24 | Words: 8,560

So, They're Dating, Right? - igniteloveignite - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

All the times everyone thought Katsuki and Izuku were dating, and the one time Katsuki realized he wished they were.

Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 5,022

Didn't I do it for you? - theburningbread - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Deku has never been close with members of the Bakusquad, despite the squad’s best efforts. They were getting there as Bakugou and Deku’s friendship grew… but that friendship has been over for years. Mina wants to understand why they never got to be as close as she knew they could have been, so she asks. But, since she wants her friends to know as well she secretly calls Bakugou so he can hear too.

Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 15,430 | Angst w/ happy ending

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing - Chapter 1 - maxisnotokay - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Izuku has had this thing about him that Katsuki has never been able to name, but he's been chasing it since he learned how to run. It takes a catastrophic building collapse during their third year and a severe concussion for him to realize what it is. Aizawa loses ten years off his life. When does he not.

Chapters: 3/3 | Words: 11,549

warm hands - Chapter 1 - flowercafe - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

A 5+1 featuring copious amounts of massaging, a dollop of mutual pining, many ridiculous competitions, Izuku’s achy joints, and one very tactile Katsuki.

Chapters: 4/5 | Words: 20,005

glowing skins and pleading fingers - mimisyum - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

In which Katsuki spent fourteen years resisting the urge to touch Izuku until it all becomes too much and he gives in. But maybe, just maybe, things don't go quite as badly as he expects.

Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 10,600

and the rest is rust and stardust - youreanovelidea - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Kirishima likes to think that he knows his classmates pretty well. But sometimes, he looks at Bakugou and Midoriya and wonders if he even knows them at all. He wonders if anyone does. (or, Kirishima notices the moments hidden between childhood friends, offers encouraging words, and maybe kisses Kaminari in the process)

Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 8,587 | Side Kaminari/Kirishima

medium fics

i accidentally texted king explosion murder - Chapter 1 - tsundokushi - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Izuku: Do you really think partnering with a copy of yourself will be good for the world? Vulgar Stranger: I. Don’t. Do. Partners. Izuku: Why thank you for sparing everyone the headache Vulgar Stranger: Since when are you fucking sassy Izuku: Wanna guess? Vulgar Stranger: Fuck u Izuku: :)

Chapters: 13/13 | Words: 64,439

An Extension Of Myself - Chapter 1 - igniteloveignite - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Izuku got One for All but went to Shiketsu instead and ends up working at the same hero agency as one very confused, very turned-on Bakugou Katsuki.

Chapters: 14/14 | Words: 81,028

Dark Side of the Sun - Chapter 1 - Synnie - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn't expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

Chapters: 20/20 | Words: 51,598 | AU - College/Uni

Immovable - Chapter 1 - asdfjkl129 - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Bakugou and Midoriya get trapped under a building together. As Midoriya struggles to keep them both alive, refusing to give even an inch, Bakugou realizes some crucial things and refuses to leave without Midoriya by his side.

Chapters: 3/3 | Words: 76,094

long fics

promises kept - gabstar - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

'after barely surviving the war, katsuki swears to do right by izuku. no matter what it takes.'

Chapters: 10/10 | Words: 125,657

Kamikaze - Chapter 1 - Katsukimchi - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

'After being injured in a villain fight, Katsuki needs someone to take care of him. The only problem is - the Bakusquad is sick of his inability to accept help. So they send in the only person who's ever been able to tolerate Katsuki at his worst: Midoriya Izuku.'

Chapters: 37/37 | Words: 197,482

Before Midnight - Chapter 1 - DriftingGlass - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Izuku Midoriya takes the same train to and from school Monday through Friday, morning and night. His only company during these lonesome hours comes in the form of another boy his age—a teen with scarred hands and blood gem eyes, a stranger with ash-blond hair who walks in a shroud of danger and mystery. "Would you stop with that fucking muttering, idiot?"

Chapters: 28/28 | Words: 211,528 | AU - Organised Crime

Hummingbird Heartbeat - Chapter 1 - Tokiji - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

“The knife went through his fucking chest, Kirishima.” Katsuki spat his name into his face, mouth twisting into a vicious snarl, teeth and all. “You know that's where his heart is, right? And his fucking lungs? All the vital shit?” Kirishima blanched. “I-I know, I just meant—” “What, you mean to tell me that your stupid fuckin’ ass is so ignorant to forget that he lost a shit ton of blood, hah?! Yeah, it was a flippin’ knife wound, oh hoo-ray, but look at the nerd now! He’s fucking dying because of it!”

Chapters: 28/? | Words: 136,922 | Angst w/ happy ending

Disillusioned - Chapter 1 - Rain_Whistler - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

After learning how some people are treated in a quirk-based society and how little anyone is willing to help. Katsuki makes it his mission to save his first and only friend.

Chapters: 37/? | Words: 182,789 | Quirkless Midoriya Izuku

Tell Me When You're Drowning - Chapter 1 - ThyNameNotSpoken - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

Izuku is in the Support Course, perfectly happy having given up his dream of being a Hero long ago. It’s just not possible for him with the nature of his quirk. As long as he continues to manage his quirk, life should be easy sailing. . . right? The teachers of UA think otherwise and become particularly concerned when he and Hatsume help in a training course. All his life, Izuku has kept moving foward. It's how he survived. But if he wants to keep moving forward, he will have to finally face his past

Chapters: 34/34 | Words: 226,705 | Support Course Deku

From The Sidelines - Chapter 1 - suffocatingspring - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

When long-time enemies, Bakugo Katsuki--the all-star athlete and rascal of Ise--and Izuku Midoriya, the town sweetheart, are paired together for a long-term project, the quiet beachside town of Ise suddenly gets a bit louder. In which, Katsuki is an asshole pole vaulter, Izuku is going to fail psychology, and both are about to have the most intense spring semester yet.

Chapters: 14/14 | Words: 404,533 | AU - Highschool

[overthinkit-underscore]

reblogging my own words? yes. i think i might.

text in OP screenshots:

Quiet has the capacity to fawn over the Narrator, to worry about Him, to ask Him if it hurts when pieces of Him fall off like that, are you like me? are you part of me? what are you, to me, what do i call you before i lose you? when people ask what i've lost, what do i say to them? you're a part of me. you're a part of me, i need you, please don't go. please. you've always been with me. please. why did you lie, all those times, about the looping? i would've helped you if you were honest with me from the start, please. do- do you have anything to say for yourself, before you go? for all of your hubris? before you go, i want you to know this has been torture.

(Explore) I don't actually know how to feel about Him being gone. like an abused child, waking up one day as an adult and learning their Father has passed.

i'll say it a million times, the Narrator wasn't scared of death, He was scared of grief and misattributed His emotional response as fear. He's a hypocrite because, by His own definition of what it means to know death, He couldn't have been scared of it until after He killed Himself to create the Construct. He wasn't afraid of dying, He was afraid of His loved ones dying and being forgotten, and He's saying to Quiet's face how it couldn't possibly understand Him and His fear as it watches its fucking FATHER unravel at the seams-

an Echo- you know, there's a quote on grief. that grief is just love with nowhere to go. it's the space left behind. well, there's a big fat gaping wound somewhere the Quiet's chest, or their wing, or somewhere. and you know what? at least they get to process their feelings. the Echo couldn't even afford Himself the time. He refused to reach acceptance. He died, He killed Himself, just so He wouldn't have to live in a world with an agony that could've passed if He didn't deny Himself the opportunity to change-

TLQ technically has daddy issues if you think about it

[michuga]

dream encounter

you meet the man of your dreams. literally.

pairing: jeongguk x reader

warnings: swearing, 18+ content, usage of violent terms, reader is hoooornyyy

wc: ~3k

a/n: inspired by personal experience. i'm still grieving.

you stumble into a dark alleyway, lips locked with another's. coming up for air, you inspect the man practically attached to you.

tall, buff, tattooed, smooookin'. lips plumper than ripe berries and eyes brighter than stars in a pitch black night sky.

god damn.

no time to think.

you grab him by the collar and devour him anew.

you tangle your hands in his soft locks, and he impatiently gropes the flesh of your ass. sighing into the kiss, you rub against his hard bulge.

you have never been so content. truthfully, you can keep going just like this for a few hours, minimum.

"need you," you mumble.

swiftly turning you around, he pins you against the wall. you're sandwiched between the wall and his firm body, pressing against your core just right.

hot breath against your ear, he whispers behind you, "make pretty noises for me, beautiful."

with you distracted, he sneaks an arm across your waist and dips it into your panties.

right as his fingers brush your lower belly and reach where you need him most desperately,

you wake up.

and you scream.

loud.

"jesus did someone die?" your roommate busts into your room, frantic and concerned as ever. "what the hell is the matter with you?"

in silent defeat, you grab your pillow and smash it against your face.

sighing and no longer concerned for your wellbeing, she leaves your room confused but somewhat used to your antics.

rubbing your legs together, you almost cry under your covers. guess your fingers will have to do, yet again.

"you do not understand. that was my fucking soulmate."

"a guy your brain made up touches you once and he's your soulmate?"

"shut up. you literally don't get it. i am so utterly devastated i could kill someone."

"you know what really is devastating? being in a dry spell so severe your brain has to resort to making up hallucinations."

"you have 3 seconds to run before i kill you."

"the only way you'll be killing me is with your delusion. i think i'm good."

"it's not funny! i saw his face, i physically felt his hands! this was like, cosmic. otherworldly. life-changing."

"you mean panty-changing."

"you dare mock my feelings? i woke up and felt like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it. like my other half was ripped from my hands. like we were connected in a past life. like-"

she snorts, "yeah, connected by divine pussy."

"i'm mourning. i'm mourning and you're laughing."

"mourning!!" she laughs in disbelief, "you sound like you just got dumped by casper the horny ghost."

"i swear to god-" you chase her around the apartment for a solid 15 minutes after that.

two weeks have passed since your.. very realistic dream.

you've forgotten about it, but you could feel it in your body that your brain chemistry was altered. people may think you're exaggerating, but you really mean it when you say you haven't been the same ever since.

food doesn’t taste right. music doesn’t hit the same. the sun? dimmer. the first sip of hot coffee on a chilly morning? slightly colder.

maybe your roommate was right. maybe you're simply too touch deprived.

god, this is sad.

as you finish adding the last few things on your grocery list to your cart, you turn around to head to checkout. until you accidentally bump into someone.

"sorry! sorry!" you blurt, immediately bending down to help the stranger pick up what he dropped.

"shit, no worries," he says, crouching down to help you.

and that's when you see it; his tattooed hand.

what is it with you and tattooed men? the universe must really be torturing you. this was like dangling candy in front of a child then snatching it away, knowing you were never gonna give it to them in the first place. cruel.

"you really don't have to, it's fine," he adds.

wait.. that voice? sounds familiar?

you slowly, slowly stand up, heart pounding in your chest, finally meeting the stranger's eyes.

your soul leaves your body. your eyes damn near pop out of their sockets.

you stand there silent, like a damn fool. smiling awkwardly, he takes his stuff and walks away.

you don’t move. you don’t breathe. was this… was this another hallucination? are you so horny that your brain has started projecting men into real life like some kind of thirst-induced hologram?

you slap yourself once. no, surely not.

you slap yourself again. nope. pain is real. surely you’re not that mentally unwell. right? right? you had your mental issues but you were certain none came with hallucinations.

peeking over at checkout, you see him there, bagging his items like it’s just another tuesday. then he leaves, disappearing out the automatic doors. just like that.

you’re frozen, gripping your bag of frozen blueberries like it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality.

he's real. this has to be some cosmic joke.

"babe, life isn't a k-drama," your roommate says, voice dripping with sarcasm as she flops onto the couch, completely dismissing your very real emotional crisis. "listen. i know how you feel. dry spells are no joke."

you facepalm.

"no, really!" she continues, undeterred. "one time i went 3 months without dick thought i started having revelations from the heavens above."

you glare at her. "cut your shit, i'm serious! he was real and he looked exactly the same as the dream. maybe slightly taller and definitely hotter, but it was him."

she raises an eyebrow, not even trying to hide her amusement. "so, let me get this straight." she leans in, finally entertaining your story for a minute.

"you mean to tell me that you experienced textbook soulmate-ism; seeing a complete stranger in a dream and then accidentally bumping into him a few weeks later? that you’ve met in a past life, or that your souls are like, intertwined in some deeply meaningful, cosmic way? a destined interaction?" she mocks as she wiggles her fingers, mimicking magic.

she wiggles her fingers dramatically, mimicking magic, and you groan so loud it echoes.

turning on your heel, you storm back toward your room. you don't know why you even bothered to begin with.

"wait, wait!" she calls after you, cackling. "you know, taehyung's not dating anyone right now. want me to send you his number?"

you ignore her, marching faster.

"ooo, since you're psychic now, can you tell me my grade on tomorrow's test? or what my mom's cooking for lunch today?" she adds, trailing behind you like an annoying toddler.

you slam the door in her face so hard the hinges rattle.

serves her right.

you are going to kill your roommate.

one, for not believing you.

and two, for dragging you to a club where taehyung conveniently happened to be, and her only informing you as you were literally walking in.

he's not bad by any means, not at all. in fact, he's got the whole package. good looks, charismatic, talented and has men and women tripping over themselves for his attention.

your point is proven when you immediately spot him speaking to three women. you're no body language expert, but five more minutes of him entertaining them and they're gonna pounce on him.

you're just.. not interested.

you had met before at one of your roommate's work outings. you chatted for a bit, shared a drink. it took you, what? an hour? maybe less, to realize that friends were all you could ever be. the chemistry just wasn't there.

you don't actually hate your roommate for it, you know she just wants you to be happy. you're just irritated because you're so horny. and the only relief you've gotten in the past two years was your recent sex dream. that one touch was enough to send you spiraling into madness. she was right, dry spells really are no joke.

after 20 minutes of forced small talk, fake smiling, and one or maybe two shots later, you excuse yourself to the bathroom; thankful for any relief from this endless and agonizing night. horny and bored out of your mind do not go well together.

in front of the mirror, you stare at your reflection. get it together.

you fix your hair, touch up your makeup, and give yourself a little pep talk.

tonight this ends. you’re not walking out of here empty-handed.

be it taehyung or literally anyone else, someone is coming home with you. no more of this pathetic nonsense. your fingers deserve a break. so do your batteries.

as you dry your hands and exit the bathroom, you almost trip. before you faceplant into the floor, firm hands grab your waist, steading you.

you sigh in relief. a broken ankle definitely meant no dick tonight. you were that desperate.

"easy there," a voice says, rich and smooth like velvet and honey. sugar, spice and everything nice.

oh, no. no. no. no.

cosmic joke? this is a full on prank.

your guy, yet again.

at this point, you're convinced you're either in a simulation or someone is filming this for a prank show. whoever was controlling your character needed to grant you some reprieve. some grace, please!

he’s smiling down at you, eyes glinting with amusement. "are you ever gonna say anything?" he teases. "so far you've just ogled me and stayed completely silent. have we met before?"

your brain short-circuits. the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a dreamy and borderline pathetic sigh, "yes, we have."

"we have?" he asks, brows knit together in confusion, head tilting slightly.

"i think i'd remember you," he adds as he grins. that smug, boyish kind of grin.

your heart is doing somersaults, but your brain kicks in just in time. shaking your head quickly, you wave it off like you didn’t just sound like a lovesick creep.

"sorry, no we haven't." you force out a chuckle. "must have misheard."

idiot, idiot, idiot.

he laughs softly, extending his hand, "jeongguk. nice to meet you."

you take his hand, trying not to combust from the electricity that shoots up your arm. instant sparks. "sorry for being a freak. you just... reminded me of someone."

his eyes twinkle. "all good memories, i hope?"

you laugh, nerves making it come out a little breathy.

"thank you for saving me."

you internally cringe at your choice of words. throwing yourself off the nearest bridge would be less painful than this.

'thank you for saving me?' what is this, a disney movie? It’s not like he pulled you from a burning building.

he chuckles, unfazed, and waves it off like it’s no big deal. "see you around, then."

walking away, yet again, he leaves you burning up and in awe.

many drinks later, you end up on the dancefloor, your roommate, god knows where, doing god knows what with god knows who. you've learned not to ask.

you dance (the testosterone) your heart out. you close your eyes and you let go for the first time that night.

swaying your hips, you feel a hand slide around your waist from behind, firm and confident. a spark shoots through you, electrifying every nerve. you're caught off guard, but you don’t stop.

leaning into the touch, your body instinctively recognizes the connection. the hand tightens slightly, fingers splaying against your hipbone, guiding you in perfect sync with the music. the warmth of a chest presses against your back, and your skin prickles with electricity.

you turn your head slightly, stealing a glance at the stranger behind you. but when your eyes catch his—your breath hitches in your throat. all words die right then and there. futile devices.

turning around to face him, you throw your arms around his neck, pressing your body dangerously close to his. instinctively, he makes a home for his hands on your hips, and like an intruder, makes way for a muscular thigh right in between yours.

"i think you're gonna kill me." he murmurs, his voice low and laced with lazy lust.

looking up at him, you're unable to hide the need that kisses every delicate feature on your face. eyes twinkling, lips slightly agape, eyebrows knit.

you can’t take much more of this.

without thinking, your hand finds his, and you tug him toward the edge of the dance floor. he follows without hesitation, his grip firm, a clear indicator of impatience rivaling yours.

stumbling out of the club, the night air hits your skin like a slap. pure whiplash to your practically scorching hot skin. a giggling mess, your hands tangle with your hot dream man's.

as he calls for a cab, you stand behind him. emboldened by the alcohol and adrenaline, you rise on your tiptoes and press your lips to his neck; inhaling the scent of sweat and cologne. oh how you've missed that smell.

his breath hitches, but he doesn’t stop you.

minutes pass. no cabs. no patience.

without a word, he grabs your wrist, his touch sending another jolt through you, and pulls you into a dark alley.

holy.

shit.

holy shit?

before you can process it, his lips are on yours, hot and demanding. you moan into his mouth, equal parts pleasure and relief. your dark days are behind you. the curse has been broken, your dry spell is finally over.

his hands find your waist as you press into him, mouths moving like you’ve done this a hundred times before. then, with a swift motion, he spins you around, your front hitting the cool, rough wall. his body is a furnace against yours, hands exploring like a man starved.

you can take a wild guess what happened next. only this time, there was nothing to wake you up.

maybe you'll become a psychic medium for a living.

a few months later, you and jeongguk start officially dating.

it was nice to finally put a name to the face.

one lazy sunday afternoon, you're both sprawled on the couch, his head resting in your lap as you absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair. the soft hum of a movie plays in the background, but neither of you is really paying attention.

"you know i had a dream about you before i met you?" you blurt out, your voice casual but your heart racing the moment the words leave your mouth. sometimes you really are the very cause of your own demise.

jeongguk's eyes snap open, and he tilts his head to look up at you, a curious smile tugging at his lips. "come again?"

instantly regretting your admission, you try to brush it off, waving your hand dismissively as you shift, attempting to slide out from under him. "oh, it's nothing. forget i said anything."

"no, no. get back here," he chuckles, sitting up quickly and grabbing you by the waist before you can make your escape. with surprising ease, he spins you around, pulling you onto his lap.

"finish that thought," he says, his voice low and teasing, eyes sparkling with amusement.

"nothankyou!" you squeal, trying to wriggle free from his grasp and attempt to escape once more, but he’s stronger, and it's far too late now.

laughing, he hoists you up and throws you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing as he gets up; trapping you in bicep jail.

"jeongguk! put me down!" you whine, your fists playfully pounding against his back as you kick your legs in protest. "let me oooouuutt!"

"i will," he says, taking slow, exaggerated steps toward the kitchen, "once you spill."

"fine, fine!" you huff dramatically. "put me down before my head explodes!"

he finally sets you down gently, but not without keeping his hands on your hips, his gaze locked onto yours with an expectant grin.

"well," you start, biting your bottom lip, "before i bumped into you that one time at the grocery store, i had a dream about you. and, uh… you looked exactly the same."

his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and for a moment, he’s silent. then, a wide grin spreads across his face. "that is the craziest thing you've ever said. and you say some pretty crazy shit, might i add." he leans in closer, fully invested. "what kind of dream?"

you feel your cheeks heat up, turning beet red as you avert your gaze.

"baby...?" he draws out the word, his tone laced with playful curiosity. his fingers start poking your sides, making you squirm and giggle. "what kind of dream?"

"well, what do you think?" you yelp, your embarrassment reaching new heights as you cover your face with your hands. you find yourself wishing once more the earth would swallow you whole.

still confused, he racks his brain for a few moments before it finally dawns on him.

and then, laughter erupts. hearty and unrestrained, gradually making his whole body shake. "so that's why you were so weird back then?"

"gee, thanks!" you shoot back, rolling your eyes, though you can’t help but laugh along with him.

"am i wrong?" he teases, raising an eyebrow. "you had your mouth open like a fish. i was half expecting a fly to stumble right into your mouth."

"you've made your pointtt," you groan, dragging out the last word dramatically. "it's not every day you meet the man from your wet dreams, so yes, forgive me if i was a little tongue-tied."

crossing your arms, you try to look annoyed, but your smile gives you away.

"oh, i'll knock that attitude out of you," he grins mischievously.

before you can react, he scoops you up again and walks you over to the couch, dramatically plopping you down with exaggerated care. you squeal, laughing uncontrollably as he pins you beneath him, his face hovering inches from yours. you immediately regret your life decisions.

you never believed dreams came true.

but you are so, so thankful this one did.

taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @dollyunjinz

[revelboo]

This exchange about bees made me think of the insecticons and Waspinator. I don't see Wasp's story ending so poorly, but the insecticons are still up in the air. (Like I know it ain't gonna end that way, but they don't know it in the story yet)

Wasp’s human is safe, but, yeah, Bombshell isn’t sold on reader yet. Kickback wants reader, Shrapnel could go either way. I figure the Insecticons only bother to obey if they feel like it

You (Don’t) Know Me Pt 8

Insecticons x Reader

• ‘l’m not eating that.’ Servos curling and uncurling as he stares down at you, Bombshell hisses softly. “You asked me to burn perfectly good meat for you and I did,” he growls as you wrinkle your little nose at him. And you’re eating it even if he has to hold you down and force feed you. ‘It smells like burnt hair.’ Turning his glare on Shrapnel, his brother shrugs weakly. And Kickback is still playing lap pet to try and curry favor. Pretending to be gentle for you. Turning, he crouches and digs his claws into the animal’s haunch, cutting away the skin to get to the meat and he’s aware of the way you stiffen when he tears a chunk free.

• He wouldn’t dare. Tensing when he turns, a fistful of slightly burnt Bambi in his claws. And he lunges right as you scream and roll to scramble away. Aware of the other two getting clear and just watching. Because you’d thought being queen would mean being respected. Not getting manhandled like a picky toddler refusing to take medicine. Swearing when Bombshell catches you around the middle and your feet leave the ground, he just sits with you in his lap, an arm banding around you to pin your arms at your sides as he tries to force feed you.

• Laughing as their little queen twists and tries to avoid the food Bombshell’s determined to feed you, Shrapnel can understand his brother’s frustration. He’d gone hunting to provide for the hive and you’re scorning him. Watches Bombshell retract his mask to tear a sliver of meat free and his mouth crashes against yours. Your head snapping back with a full body shudder. “I wouldn’t spit that out if I were you, you,” Shrapnel says and you glare sullenly up at him. But you finally start chewing even though you look furious. And Bombshell is tearing another strip with his denta before claiming your mouth again. Your annoyance faltering as his pheromones coax you into cooperating until you’re brushing your mouth against his. Demanding the next bite.

• Watching Bombshell feed you since you’d refused to feed yourself, Kickback waits until Shrapnel tears into the meat before helping himself. Can hear Bombshell rumbling to you as you relax against him, compliant again. “Will we build here?” He asks as he eats and Bombshell growls. ‘Not with that Dinobot so close,’ Bombshell mutters, head dipping to tear another bite for you.

• So much for dignity. Body humming as his glossa presses another bite past your lips, it feels like all of your resistance has been stripped away. And you’re annoyed that he’d done it to you again, whatever is in their saliva mellowing you out even as your blood heats and you shift restlessly against him. “Be a good little queen and you’ll get a reward,” Bombshell whispers arm shifting so you’re not pinned and his clawed servos tunnel through your hair.

Previous

[lesmiix]

hii!! could you write hcs/oneshot of hyun-ju finding out reader has a daughter? like how she would react and bond with her?

have a lovely day/night!! ❤️

Hyun-ju finding out you have a daughter!

Hyun-ju x Fem!reader

Summary: You started dating Hyun-ju not so long ago, but she still doesn't know you have a daughter.

a/n: OMG THIS IS SOOOO CUTE Thank you so much for this request!!!

Hyun-ju requests are OPEN

You would have told Hyun-ju about your daughter not too long after you two have started dating, maybe 3-4 weeks later.

Wether you told her accidentally or directly.

"So, uhh... Hyun-ju, there's something I really need to tell you." You said nervously, playing with your hands, you really didn't want to take too long on telling her that little secret, so you decided to tell her right after having dinner in a really nice restaurant.

"Sure, what is it?" She asked, seeing the nervoursness in your face.

"I... uh... I had a boyfriend some years ago, it was not the best relationship but we were too immature to realize what we were doing so... I ended up getting pregnant and..." You chuckled a bit. "When I told him about it, we had a really bad fight and then he just dissapeared. I didn't have the guts to abort her, so... well... I understand if you want us to stop having all of these little dates." You couldn't stare at her in the eyes, fearing to see any disgust or dissapointment look on her face.

After some seconds of silence, you heard a soft giggle.

"That's okay, pretty girl, I don't have any problem with that so, can you tell me more about her?" She said after letting a small peak on your soft lips.

She would be the best mother ever, as a result of her childhood traumas, she wouldn't want your daughter to go through the same tough stuff as her did, so she would always make sure that the little girl knew she could trust her 2 mommies.

She'd help you preparing her food, and if she was still a baby and you were not at home, she'd be the most delicate while preparing the milk, always being really carefull with the temperature. If you decided to breastfeed her, she would silently watch you both with a cute smirk on her face, resting her head on your shoulder, wondering what has she done to deserve such a beautiful family.

Hyun-ju doesn't really like to stay at home all day everyday, so she would make plans for the three of you, like going to an aquarium, amusment parks, small trips on close cities or simply going shopping to the mall.

She truly loved spending time watching movies or playing hide and seek with your daughter, even though sometimes you and your girlfriend needed some privacity and hired a babysitter for the night.

Before you moved in together, if you had to work until very late, you'd call her to ask if she could babysit your daughter for a while until you got home.

"Hey, my love, I'm going to stay a little longer at work tonight, is it okay if I asked you to babysit Sheila? I'll try to finish as soon as I can, I won't take too long, maybe three hours more, I guess... I just have a ton of paperwork to fi-" You couldn't even finish your sentence as she cut you off.

"Baby, it's okay, take the time you need, I'm on my way"

As Hyun-ju doesn't have contact with her parents anymore, you would spend christmas with your family.

She would be this kind of "respectful parenting" mom, like, she would NEVER raise her voice or her hand at her, but NEVER NEVER NEVER, doesn't matter how bad your daughter screwed up. They would have a long chat if she did something bad, but Hyun-ju would speak to her very softly.

Overall, she would be the greatest mother your daughter could have ever had.

a/n: AWW I loved how this turned out!! 😭

[unoriginalcontent]

Been thinking a bit about this post; I do believe that to empathize with Trump voters, at least on an intellectual level, is important for purely pragmatic reasons. The idea there is that the right wing propaganda machine is a menace that no one knows how to deal with, and so if we can understand the concerns and anxieties of the conservative voter, we might have an opportunity to demonstrate how Trump is tangibly not addressing their problems and turn them against him. And hell, even if they did vote for him out of bigotry, maybe they'll still be willing to turn on him out of self-interest. However much it sucks, many of these people will not care if you simply point out that his policies harm other people. They've already set the human cost aside as acceptable losses, or else they outright support harming these people, which is why a different strategy is necessary for them. If we can get conservatives to turn on Trump, then even if it's not for the right and morally-correct reasons, that's still a win.

Of course that's all in reference to conservatives who were probably already predisposed towards whoever has an R next to their name on the ballot. When it comes to leftists who refuse to associate with democrats out of protest, I just don't know. I can understand that someone might want to vote out of self-interest and also believe that a Trump presidency is beneficial to them. Obviously they're likely to be wrong, but it's not hypocritical to have believed a lie and acted accordingly. Conversely, I think most leftists are people who will claim that government and voting shouldn't just be about self-interest, and that helping other people is a worthy end unto itself. And yeah, they should have known better.

If you're educated enough on the issues to have known all of Harris's shortcomings, how the hell do you not also know Trump's? If you know them both, how the hell can you conflate the two as equally bad?

We have this idea in the left that our systems are bad, and therefore we can never make progress until we destroy the systems entirely and build something new from the ashes. If you believe that, then please get your head out of the clouds because that's what Trump and Musk are trying to give us, and it turns out to be bad. We live in the system, we depend on the system, if we didn't then it wouldn't matter how many federal programs Trump is trying to abolish. Even if you specifically will be fine, you're writing everyone else off as an acceptable loss. It's not wrong to imagine and strive for a better world than this one, but unless you have viable alternatives ready and waiting, you won't get there by breaking things.

Maybe it's unfair to blame the current situation on people on the left who didn't vote for Harris. I don't even know how much blame matters at this point. And yet I think this is an important thing for all of us to keep in mind. Your moral clarity can be used against you. No matter how good and pure your ideals are, the real world has to come first. And right now that means acknowledging that a huge portion of our democracy chose Trump. And they don't care if you're hurt from his policies, or if I'm hurt, for a lot of these voters your suffering is probably just sugar on top. OP is absolutely right, they probably don't regret wishing leopards onto other people, but that doesn't mean it's not worth convincing them that we should stop the leopards before their faces are eaten. People are going to be poisoned by food which they voted to deregulate, and a part of me wants to think of that as justice. I feel angry. I feel spiteful. These people are taking human rights violations and touting them as victories, fuck them. But anger and spite won't fix anything, even from our side. And no matter how awful some of these people might be, together they're a hell of a voting block. I wish that I could force people to care about the suffering of others, but I can't. And so I hope that it's possible to at least get them to care about themselves.

And if you do think of yourself as progressive, and you still refused to vote for Harris, then I think OP is right, and you really do take a look at yourself. It is true that many of our problems are created and perpetuated by larger institutions beyond our control, but when it comes to democracy, it's not enough blame the system. You're a part of the system. If you don't want to participate, you need to have an alternative that is—crucially—viable, actionable, and realistic in the immediate short term. If you don't have that, which I guarantee you don't, then high-stakes elections are not the time for moral grandstanding.

Sorry for rambling here on your post, I'm probably a bit scattered. I've been having a lot of discussions with people about this sort of thing lately. Whatever strategy the left has for winning hearts and minds, it clearly hasn't worked if someone like that can still win the popular vote. I don't know how to fix that. But I think we all need to be a lot more comfortable ceding the moral high ground if it means making progress in the trenches.

Trump voters owe me financial compensation.

[kawhh]

you’re the only person who shares my wavelength openly so here i go….

I often think about having sex with Trevor and Quinn watching from somewhere in the room. Quinn either heard you moaning Trevor’s name in your sleep, overheard a convo with your friends, or just staring at trevor? Idk but whatever caused him to let trevor take you momentarily while he watches and interrogates makes me feral.

He’s asking things like “does he f*ck you like I do?” , “is he treating my pussy well?” “Are you done fantasizing about him?”

that’s right, quinn’s pussy - not yours, quinn’s and he’s loaning it to trevor.

Unfortunatly for everyone around me on this app I am incapable of not being open. I'm too much of a whore and I've been given a voice.

He knows Trevor watches you. How could he not? He notices everything. He doesn't let you out of his sight after all.

He's noticed you reciprocating the looks. Not enough to make him angry, but enough to make him aware that there's probably something there.

He can't let it fester. He can't let this get out of control. He needs to shut the shit down now.

it's easy enough to convince Trevor to go to your room at night. Telling him that he understands, convincing him that he won't be angry or upset if he gets it out of his system.

He can wait patiently knowing that it's happening. Seeing Trevor sneak into your room, hearing your panic and shock. Can hear him convincing you that you both have permission. Tightening his grip on the door frame, every instinct screaming at him to start his plan when he hears the first moans coming from the room.

He's slipping into the room, silently locking the door behind him, questioning his every decision seeing Trevor fucking into you, how he's hovering over you. How small you look like under another man, the anger burns in his veins. He wasn't fully prepared. He'll admit that.

Hearing your moans for another man? Hearing you cry on another cock? Watching your legs shake?

You're both so distracted you don't even hear him grabbing a chair. Neither of you reacting until he parks himself right next to your head, smoothing your hair.

"He fucking you good, baby?"

The look of shock on your face is priceless. The way you cycle through emotions. Shock, panic, embarrassment. And now you look like you're going to cry, so fucking adorable. His little whore.

"This help getting him out of your system, sweetheart? With how poor he's fucking you? Look at him, he's not as thick as me. Bet he's not even reaching your cervix, huh?"

Laughing as Trevor tries to fuck you harder, he can tell he's getting frustrated with his comments. But it's not like he said he wouldn't do this.

"Has he even made you cum, babe? Did he warm you up? Was he being selfish?"

Rubbing brutal circles on your clit, hearing your delicious screams.

"Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you. Treat your pussy right. You won't look at him ever again, will you?"

[tinylilacbun]

School Fights

Pairing: brother!rafe cameron x teen!sister!reader

Warnings: reader getting into fights, arguing, angst, set in s4, mentions of ward being dead, fluff at the end

͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ ︶𝅄⏝ ͝ ͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ 𝅄

Rafe's on his way towards your school, again, this is the third time this month that the principal has called him because you got into another fight.

Ever since Ward died, Rafe took it upon himself to take care of you since you didn't want to stay with Rose and leave the island you grew up on behind but boy, he really didn't expect that taking care of a teenager would be this exhausting.

You kind of remember him of himself when he was around your age, which scares him sometimes, because he made stupid decisions and even more reckless stuff.

He couldn't say no when you somehow managed to come back to Kildare all on your own from Guadaloupe, standing in front of him sobbing and begging him to let you stay with him, saying that you miss him and everything.

Now it's been a while and things have gone smoothly, all until the calls from your principal became more frequent and worse every time.

Arriving in front of the school building he takes a deep breath before climbing out of his car, making his way inside and towards the principal office, the way all too familiar for him by now.

As he opens the door to the office he sighs at seeing you sitting in the seat in front of Miss Tinks desk, your arms crossed over your chest and a faint bruise forming on the corner of your mouth together with a cut on your eyebrow that the school nurse already patched up.

"Mr. Cameron, please take a seat." She greets him, a small professional smile on her face to ease the already growing tension in the room.

"What happened now?" Rafe asks, taking a seat right next to you, reaching out to tuck your hair away to get a proper look at your face but you just turn your head from his reach.

"Well, there's been a little altercation between Y/N and some other students during lunch break." Your principal starts to explain everything, that you lashed out at two other girls for reasons you wouldn't tell her yet as you knew it wouldn't change a thing.

"A'ight, we'll- I'll talk with her. It won't happen again, I'm sure of it." Rafe says, knowing there's no way in hell that things would change but he has to say something to assure that he's capable to take care of his sister.

"Mr. Cameron, with all due respect. I've been patient for a while now, and I can't let these things slide anymore. Y/N will be suspended for the coming three days. Should things not work out soon I'm forced to take more drastic measures to ensure a healthy learning environment for my students." Miss Tinks states calmly, sliding the paper with your suspension towards your brother.

Rafe clenches his jaw, rubbing a hand over his face before glancing at you, who seems completely unbothered by this whole situation.

"Okay. I'll handle it from here, I apologize on her behalf." Rafe musters up a forced smile as he stands up, shaking your principal's hand goodbye, turning to face you. "Let's go."

You grab your bag and stand up to catch up with your brother, walking silently beside him as you both make your way outside and to his car.

After he slams his door shut he starts the engine, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he wheels onto the road, staring ahead but he's visibly upset, rightfully so.

"What happened?" He asks through gritted teeth and when you don't reply he breathes deeply through his nose.

"Y/N, I'm trying to help here but- but when you don't give me a reasonable explanation I'll ground your ass for a damn month and take away your phone, if that's what you want instead be my guest." He waves his hand.

Again, just silence. He's about to start scolding you again when you mumble something under your breath. "Speak up, kid. I can't understand gibberish."

"You wouldn't understand..." You mutter again, trying not to cry as you feel your eyes well up.

"Then help me. At least try to explain what the hell is going on. I can't change things when you don't talk with me, you know that." He runs a hand over his buzzed head, not used to talks like this with you.

"They all pick on me...e-everyone whispers when I walk past them, saying how Dad's a murderer and that he deserved what happened, t-that you're psychopathic, that Sarah turned into a dirty pogue, telling me that I'll just end up like all of you." You finally ramble out, starting to sniffle as the tears roll down your cheeks.

"I just- I couldn't stand it anymore, hearing all that shit and just snapped. Bitches had it coming ever since I started school again..."

Rafe doesn't say anything for a moment, taking everything in you just said, already preparing himself for the phone call he's gonna have with your principal when he gets home.

How can shit like this just slip past all those teachers? Hell, he's pretty sure he can press charges for the fact his sister gets suspended after getting harassed by fellow students. A healthy learning environment, my ass.

"I...I get it." He finally responds, starting to calm down now that he knows why you've been acting so strange lately. "You just wanted to defend your family name. Guess we got more in common than I thought, huh?"

"You- You're not mad?" You question, wiping the tears from your cheeks subtly.

Rafe scoffs, shaking his head. "Nah, I'm actually proud of you for not only standing up for yourself but also for dad. He wouldn't get it, but I do...hell I understand you more than anyone ever could."

There's some silence after that, both of you processing the depth of the conversation you just had, there's never really been a chance to talk about what's bothering you since you're still partly grieving your father's deaths.

He wasn't the best dad of the world. Everyone knows that, but still, he tried everything to protect all of you and make sure you'll never have to worry about anything in the future 'til his last breath.

"I miss him..." You whisper suddenly, looking down at your bruised knuckles.

"Yeah, me too." Rafe replies with a low voice.

You furrow your brows when you notice that he doesn't turn into the next street towards his house but keeps driving straight ahead.

"Where are we going?"

He simply shrugs, a smirk forming on his face. "I think we both deserve some McDonald's, don't you think?"

You finally start to smile again, a sight that Rafe hasn't been able to witness for a while now. He should have paid more attention to you, having deep talks like this, he's all you got now after all.

[captain-hawks]

hello yazuka!kuroo?????!!?????????!!!!! i literally can’t even . i’m sat here like ..

it's half past three in the morning when the creak of the front door is followed by the sound of kuroo's heavy footsteps, his gait slightly off.

he finds you in the darkness of the kitchen, a glass of water clutched in your hands—the liquid trembles slightly. pale moonlight slips over his tall form, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip at the sight before you.

tie nowhere to be found, his button down shirt hangs open, sleeves shoved up to the elbows, irezumi on clear display. blood stains the white material, drips down his chest. it's on his neck, his jaw. it stains his hands.

he unceremoniously slumps down on the tile floor at your feet, back resting against the cabinet, close enough that his messy black hair brushes against your bare skin. the gun in his hands clatters against the white ceramic tiles, fingers leaving behind a smear of blood as he presses a palm flat to the cool surface.

"you should be in bed," he comments mildly, though his voice sounds a little hoarse.

"perhaps it will come as a surprise to you that i find it difficult to sleep after having spent the last week held hostage—" you reply, taking a sip before putting your cup down on the counter.

"i killed them all," he breathes out, head leaning against your thigh.

you stare down at him, and he tilts his chin upward to meet your gaze. his expression tells you nothing—not that it ever does.

not that his indifference ever has in the months that have passed since your arranged betrothal.

(the only time you've seen it waver was when he found you tied up in that hotel—)

"you'd kill a man for me."

kuroo nods. "as many as it takes."

you let out a huff at the way your toes suddenly curl at the feeling of his nose brushing against your knee.

"but you barely...you've no interest...you don't touch me."

kuroo's quiet.

"—we're to be wed in a month's time, and you've never taken me to your bed..."

he uses his sleeve to clean the blood from his jaw, exhaling a sound that could very well be amusement. "you were nearly killed, and you're concerned about why i won't fuck you?"

you just don't understand why he would have made the deal with your father in the first place if he didn't want—

kuroo stands, and if he's bothered that you've slipped into his quarters and taken one of his shirts to sleep in, he doesn't comment on it. gun back in his hands, he wipes it on his pants before pressing the cool metal into your own fingers.

it's pointed at his chest, and you go to lower it, but he grasps the muzzle tightly, holding it in place as he stares at you intently.

"i'd feel better if you held onto this from now on," he murmurs.

he goes to leave the kitchen, and your hand falls down to your side, the gun heavy against your palm. "saline."

kuroo turns in the doorway, head cocked slightly to the side.

"saline will help wash the blood stains out," you explain.

the ghost of a smile curls at the corners of his lips.

[overnightheartbeats]

She only rolled her eyes at his comment, not even worth addressing. Though, the roll of her eyes also communicated her growing annoyance and anger at his lack of a reaction. On the contrary, he was amused? That didn't make any damn sense.

"I don't need to be queen of the university to tell you that you just don't belong. Honestly if you weren't glued to my roommate, I wouldn't even know of your existence. That's how irrelevant you are." It wasn't intentional, her emphasis on my, but she couldn't help it. "Oh, don't act dumb! You know who I'm talking about. Laurel!" Still, as she spoke, she just sounded like a petulant child who wasn't getting her way. And, that really was her right now. Just a child throwing a tantrum. "Unless you already forgot about her," and that, kind of perked her up. Because, if so, maybe she won't have to do all this. "Maybe because you already got what you wanted from her." Laurel hadn't shared anything with her, but she overheard her gushing to her friend. It didn't take much to guess what had happened between them.

"Oh, you didn't say it," humorless laughter followed, flashes of all her classmates going on and on about him filled her mind. "Just everyone else. Like you're god's gift to this stupid fucking place." Laurel raved about him, so did everyone she met. Jenny was sick of it. She completely ignored his quip about Laurel's free will, instead just shaking her head at him. "You're below so much, you're not even close to us," she scoffed at his words. Did he really have such a naive view, just because he didn't come from money? Such a fairytale notion. It's not like Laurel was high up there, not the way Jennys's family was, but she was distinguished enough, she supposed. "I just care about her! In a way you can't understand. I'm here for the real deal, not some college hook up. You're just messing this whole thing up!" Jealousy was not easy to hide.

Her frown deepened at his refusal, a simple no and it had her riled up. "I don't need to ask you for a favor. Just need to get you out of the way, really." Jenny was just talking out of her anger, and had no concrete ideas as to how any of this would work. But, ideas would come soon enough. "No? You're going to regret saying that to me. I'll make her see, just how much of a wrong choice you are. Not worth more time than she has already given you. She's just dazzled by you now, but all things lose their shine. Sooner or later."

Laurel had just finished drying off her hair when she opened his bathroom door. She almost called out to him to ask about dinner ideas when she overheard muffled voices. It didn't make much sense to her, but as she stepped out of his bathroom, the voice became clearer. Jenny? It was her voice, but the things she was saying just didn't match the person she knew. She was quiet as she stepped closer to him, tapping his shoulder to silently ask what was going on? She had heard enough, however. Eli being the wrong for choice was absolutely ridiculous. But, that wasn't what infuriated her. It was the way she was expressing herself about him, and the fact that Eli wasn't saying anything either.

Laurel turned to look at him, confusion washing over her, before she wiggled in between him and the door. Her hair was still damp and a mess when she faced Jenny. Her features were a blend of annoyance and anger, something her roommate was quick to catch on to, because before Laurel even spoke up, Jenny was stuttering and trying to bring in some context to her earlier hateful words. "I...thought you were spending the long weekend at your dad's," she cleared her throat, trying to think of what else to say. "Well, no it's not what you think. I'm just," a nervous giggle fell from Jenny's lips as she tried bringing that sweet side back to the forefront. Harder than it sounded when the object of her sheer hatred stood right next to her. Damp hair, he was shirtless - it didn't take a genius to deduce. "I just, you know that overprotective friend conversation, I owed him that. It's nothing though." The story she was spinning really would only work if he didn't contradict her. And the chances of that happening were slim.

"Save it Jenny. I heard you and I can't stand here and have you spew all of this about him. He is one hundred times better person than you are, and just— you should go. I won't be back, find yourself a new roommate."

Eli chuckled out of amusement, clearly he wasn't even off put by her lame attempt at an insult. "You'd have bigger problems if you couldn't carry your own trash bags." Not that he truly would help her. He had no business with a bully. If he gave her the inch he was sure she'd barge in and make herself at home in his dorm trying to rip him a new one. But, still eyes were on her as she went on.

Surprised eyebrows knitted together as she told him to get lost. "Who died and made you queen of the university, last I checked I belong here. Just because you don't like doesn't mean you get to tell others if they belong or not. Stuck to her? Now, who do you mean?" At this point he was baiting her, he wanted her to be clear since digging her own grave would be her doing not his.

Eli laughed as he shook his head. "I never said I was all that. I'm just a normal human being minding their business. You're the one trying to disrupt that peace." he sighed and rolled his eyes. "It seems to me that you think I'm forcing her to be here. Laurel has got a choice and her own free will. Just because I didn't come from money doesn't mean I'm below you or her. Why do you care so much though is the question?"

"Hmmm that seems more like I'd be doing you the favor and I'm not in the business of doing that for you. So, no." He tried to be cordial given the many insults she had just given him but it was hard standing there taking it. Half of his head turned to see if Laurel had come out yet but also didn't want her hearing this given how much Jenny was talking out of her ass.