#that first guf oh my lord

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain:  Chapter 802:  Catch and Release:  Part III / III

Blake stood up on the wall, looming over Taiyang after he landed. He saw the rising shadow and looked up. "Mr. Xiao Long." she said to him.

"Please, call me Tai." Taiyang stated, "Or, if you feel like, dad."

Blake squatted down, and tilted her head too and fro. "I afraid I already have a dad..." she said, and paused, "that I actually love."

Taiyang opened up his arms, "Do I at least qualify for dad hugs?" he asked her.

Blake rolled her eyes and then jumped down. He pulled her in for a hug. She kissed him on the cheek before slipping out and landing back on the wall, before crouching back down. The sound of a cat bell was coming from her Scroll, which she quickly pulled out and silenced.

"Hm?" he asked.

"Team meeting." Blake said with a catlike smile. "Or should I say family meeting?"

"Was that?.." Taiyang asked, and then trailed off.

"It was Yang's idea." Blake said with a smile and quickly ran off to the tower.

* * *

Blake sat on the carpet in the middle of the lounge, RW_Y + JNR were sitting on couches. Aurora and Ilia stood around the room.

"How come she gets to sit on the carpet?" Ruby asked, causing W_Y + JNR to look between each other.

"I do believe?," Weiss asked her, "that you are fully free to sit on the carpet."

Ruby dove down to stand on all fours before quickly sitting hunched forward next to Blake.

"Weird question?" Blake asked Ruby.

"What's up?" Ruby asked.

"Can I?.." Blake nervously asked, and Ruby just eagerly looked at her. "This is going to sound weird."

"I think we're well past weird." Yang stated.

"Okay." Blake said, and breathed in deeply, "Can I lay on you?"

Ruby quickly laid on her side. Blake slithered up upon her.

"Are we ready?" Weiss asked, and no one replied. "Okay, for the first business!" She then pointed at Jaune, "Jaune-dear."

"Yes?" he asked.

Weiss then pointed at the pair, and then moved her hand over to Ruby's head to make it clear which one she was talking to, "Darling." She then pointed at Blake's head, "Sweetie." She then pointed at Yang "Honey."

"Oh, I get it!" Nora stated.

"You do?" Yang asked.

"Bees!" Nora exclaimed.

"I doubt..." Ren started to say.

"Actually, she is correct."

A moment of silence followed.

"Is that it?" Jaune asked.

"Oh, far from it." Weiss stated, "I just wanted to get that out of the way. You see, I wanted to talk about the family finances."

"We're, like, millionaires." Yang stated, causing Weiss to develop a cute pout. "Oh, sorry, did you want to say that?" Weiss turned a mottle of light and dark blues and breathed in deeply. "I said I'm sorry."

"Yes, you did." Weiss said, "And yes, I want to forgive you."

"Want to?" Nora asked.

"I would just like a moment to overcome my lesser instincts." Weiss breathed in deep, causing the dark blue to turn entirely light. "As she said, we are, in fact, millionaires. That said, the average civil servant retirements package is akin to a couple million, so we are perhaps not as well off as you might imagine."

"Wait, what?" Yang asked.

"So?" Ruby eagerly asked, "We're kind of rich?"

"That is a decent summary." Weiss stated.

"So, what are you going to do with it?" Nora asked, causing Weiss to look at her curiously. "We first need to decide how we are to divide up our earnings." Weiss stated.

"What's that mean?" Nora asked.

"That means," Ren said to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "we need to decide if we simply take our share of earnings, or some other form of compensation."

"Just so everyone knows." Nora said and paused, "I'm like really terrible with money."

Weiss looked between the others before saying anything. She looked back to Nora, "I'm afraid we already surmised this."

"Oh, well, good." Nora said.

Ren leaned forward to speak, "We have no plans to ever depart from your graces. I have no interest in Lien, either."

"We want a family!" Nora shouted, and Jaune sighed.

"I thought you were like, pro-family?" Yang asked.

"I'm pro-family." Jaune stated, "You are all like the family I always wanted."

"Then what is your objection?" Weiss asked.

"I kind of didn't want to become a feudal lord, with retainers." Jaune guffed, "But, here we are."

"And?" Blake asked, causing everyone to look at her, "What do you want to change?"

"Nothing." Jaune said, "I'm just being grumpy about it. Apparently the best way for us all to be together is for me to a feudal lord, with retainers, and knights..."

"And what's Ilia?!" Nora asked, and Jaune looked at Ilia.

"That depends on what she wants to be."

"What do you want?" Ruby asked her.

Ilia stepped forward, shoulders slack, unable to look anyone in the eyes. "I'll be whatever Blake wants me to be."

"Is is me?" Yang asked, "Or does that sound suspicicoulsy like she's trying to get in with Jaune."

"I'm sure Blake wouldn't..." Ruby tried to say.

"I thought you all would have noticed?" Yang asked.

"Yes?" Weiss asked her.

"I have - specific interests when it comes to those kinds of things." Blake voiced.

"It's probably all the smut she reads." Yang chided.

"Did you want Jaune to spank you?" Blake asked.

"Time and place." Yang stated, "I mean..." she said and paused, "I mean, not in front of..." and pointed to Ren, Nora, Aurora, and Ilia.

"Oh, psh." Nora said, "We already know, I mean the tower shook, and we heard..." she said, and Ren squeezed her shoulder, causing her to stop.

"What did you hear?" Yang asked.

"A considerable amount." Ren said with a smile, leaving a pregnant pause.

"And Aurora did admit..." Blake tried to say, only to be cut off by Weiss' scoff.

"Finances." she admonished everyone. "Now, the question at hand is not what Ilia wants, in such terms, but how she wishes to be paid."

"I really haven't thought about it." Ilia stated, "I've never really worried about the Lien."

"We can be minions!" Nora exclaimed. Ilia looked at her with a weak smile before quickly looking away. "She smiled, which means she likes it, too."

"I..." Ilia tried to say, and trailed off.

"Yes?" Weiss gently asked her.

"I would rather not worry about finances." She said, "But I do want the option to have something to take with me if..."

"I believe we feel the same." Ren stated, "I believe it is prudent."

"Yeah." Nora stated, "I mean, yeah, we want some money if we want it, but if you give us too much..."

"I'm afraid," Ren continued, "that our financial literacy is lacking."

"We could fix that." Weiss said to them.

"Or." Nora replied, "You could just treat us like minions, and put some money aside for us for, whatever."

"It does make sense." Jaune stated, causing Weiss to develop a shocked look.

"Et tu, mon beau?" she asked.

"Tu-es - ma belle." he replied. Causing her to fully flush light blue, combined with a bright blush as well.

"Since when do you?.." Ruby tried to ask.

"Knightly house." Jaune stated. "The Lingua Franca was not what it once was." He then turned back to Weiss, "But seriously, if they are living in our castle, they don't need to keep their own household budgets. I think everyone would rather just spend their money on what they want, even if it's less money."

"Wait?" Ruby asked, "Like an allowance?"

Jaune dismissively bobbed his head. "Yes?" he asked.

Yang then stood up and started to stretch. "That works for me. I've always been a girl who likes going with the flow."

"She'd rather care about how everyone else is doing." Blake added.

"You know what?, yeah." Yang stated, "I'm a big-titted mama bird for all of you."

"She had to point that out, doesn't she?" Weiss asked.

"She just wants us to stare at them." Blake said with a cheshire grin. "And considering we all did when she said it, I think it worked."

"Alright?" Jaune asked, "Let's say 5% of your income should be discretionary."

"Isn't that a bit low?" Yang asked.

"Not at all." Aurora stated, "Even the wealthy spends very little of their... as a percentage... without rational aforethought."

"So?" Jaune asked, "We take all of the money we make and put into a pot, take 5% of that, and divide it among everyone, other than Aurora and Taj, who seem to want a regular salary."

"If I could?" Aurora asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Jaune asked, and gestured to an empty space just off the room's centre. Aurora walked over.

"I have my salary paid by the Schnee Dust Corporation."

"So, we don't even have to pay for her?" Ruby asked, "Which is kind of good, because apparently she gets paid a LOT."

"I do." Aurora said with a smile, "The contract is for a year, at the end of the year, I too would like to become a minion. Of a sort, if I could?"

"Meaning she wants the same pay structure as the rest of us?" Weiss asked.

"Exactly!" Aurora exclaimed, "I mean, yes, Ms."

"At this point," Yang said, "she is like totally part of the family, so I kind of agree with this."

"How do you feel?" Blake asked, causing him to look at her so she could look him in his eyes to see his response, "M'Lord."

Jaune's initial response was confusion, followed by rejection, followed by uncertainty and then acceptance. He audibly sighed.

"Uh-huh?" Jaune asked, "All should kneel before me." he sarcastically said.

Blake sat up to a kneeling, quickly followed by Ruby. Aurora kneeled down beside them, quickly followed by Yang. Weiss elegantly stood up and sauntered over, kneeling on the ground.

"You coming?" Nora asked, and as Jaune looked over he saw them kneeling on the ground as well. When he looked back Ilia was kneeling on the ground behind the others. Jaune just nervously looked at them.

"So, uh?.." Jaune asked, and then had no idea what to say. "All jokes aside, we were kind of in the middle of an important meeting."

"Does it look like we're joking?" Nora asked him.

"I honestly don't know." Jaune voiced, and once again sighed.

"Command us, O great husband." Blake said with glee.

"Um?.." Jaune asked, "Uh, Aurora?"

"My Liege?" she asked. "Did you want me to accompany me in your bed chambres?"

"Wait, what?" Jaune asked, but no one answered. He breathed in a few times before continuing, "How much should we put away for retirement?"

"Properly invested, and left to develop, about 5%, M'Lord."

"Then let's do that." Jaune said. "We should also get a proper radio detection system."

"You don't like the one Aurora made?" Ruby asked.

"I think it's fantastic." Jaune stated, "But she cobbled that one together out of almost nothing. Imagine what she could do with some Lien? What else?, oh, I want to set up a budget for garden maintenance, and upgrade the servants' quarters until they are. I don't know, less servant-y."

"Like individual rooms, M'Lord?" Aurora asked.

"Uh, yeah, that sounds good. We should also do something with our property, now that we have it."

"Like sheep?!" Nora excitedly asked.

"We can raise sheep?!" Ruby asked.

"This is a Peel Tower." Jaune stated, "That was kind of the point of it."

"ooh-ooh!" Yang exclaimed, raising her arm.

"Yes?" Jaune asked.

"Can we get a guard llama?!" Yang asked.

"They have guard llamas?!" Nora exclaimed.

"Is that really a thing?" Ruby asked.

"It is relatively new." Blake stated.

"A guard llama!" Ruby exclaimed, "Can we give him armour?"

"That actually does sound really cool." Jaune stated. "Let's start with the sheep."

"And?" Yang asked.

"And guard llama." Jaune replied, causing a number of smiles, "and guard dogs and hunting dogs, AND THEN think about giving the guard llama armour."

"We'll need to start a town." Aurora stated, and stood up. She realized what she did and kneeled back down again, "I meant no disrespect, M'Lord. Please don't have my mistress hold me down for punishment..." she faux pleaded.

"Alright, enough." Jaune stated. "Everyone stand up." he said, and everyone stood up with wide smiles on their faces. "Aurora, work out the budget."

"Yes, M'Lord." she quipped.

"Alright," Jaune stated, "that's it, everyone get out of my sight, or I going to start slapping asses."

"Then maybe don't make it sound so enticing." Yang stated.

"Come." Weiss said to her, "I do say we've drawn the joke out long enough."

"Joke?" Nora asked.