#that bitch was fucking insane i literally feel like i'm on drugs. holy shit

[vampyroteuthid]

just spent an hour and a half in the most insane massage chair i've ever seen i feel like i've had two muscle relaxers and a vicodin. my body has not felt this nice in a very long time

[youareinlovetv]

ALL my thoughts on ttpd in one post:

fortnight is not what i expected at ALL and it's so insane like.. oh my god. this is slut all over again

POST MALONE'S VOCALS ARE SO GOOD IN THIS SONG TOO OH MY GODDD

the same can be said with the title track. it's so weird to me how it's melancholic like this i thought it would be absolutely devastating

she ate with the lyrics on it though "we're two idiots" yes you are bitchessss

my boy only breaks his favorite toys... insane. that's all i have to say

down bad is CRAZYYY like the thing at the beginning goes so hard and it feels like slut but way way more devastating and not happy

"fuck it if i can't have him" hurts me she is so hurt i need to hug her!!!!!!

so long london genuinely might be one of the best songs she has ever written and produced because holy fucking shit

THE BEGINNING?? HER VOCALS?? SO MAGICAL???

and then she just spits out fact after fact like joe is shaking

"you swore that you loved me but where were the clues, i died on the alter waiting for the proof" this line. hurts me. so much. she's so fucking evil i can't i can't i literally CANT

at first i thought 'but daddy i love him' was about joe but apparently it's about matty??? ok then

she is such in denial but i'm proud of her for putting it on the album!!

i forgot what lyric but the one abt him being her whole world broke me (i thought it was abt joe though so...)

i dont rlly have anything to say about fresh out the slammer other than its definitely about joe and him protecting her from the paparazzi and shit and it just makes me sad

FLORIDA IS. CRAZY OH MY GODDDDDDD

ok first of all. the buildup and the chorus is insane

and FLORENCE'S VOCALS??? HELLO???

the bridge kills me too

the first lyric of guilty as sin having blue in it... shut up

who's afraid of little old me is INSANE and BATSHIT and BULLSHIT and crazy and what the absolute fuck

THE VOCALS ATE. THE VOCALS ATE SO SO HARD

AND THE BACKGROUND VOCALS WHAT THE FUCK??? THE "OOOOOOOH OOOOOOOOH"S BEFORE THE CHORUS HELLO???

god this song hurts it's so anti-hero coded i can't

i can fix him is another one of those songs i cant comment on yet bc im still processing it eizosdfhasoihd

loml is so painful

when she said "loss of my life" i was gagged. literally gagged

it's so sad beautiful tragic but cranked up to 10 and i can't take it anymore

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART. THIS IS LIKE. MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THE PRODUCTION??? THE TEMPO?? IT'S SO SO SO SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAA ITS SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT GOES SO HARD WHAT DRUG DID SHE PUT IN THIS SONG

THE CHORUS IS SO ADDICTING

"LIGHTS CAMERA BITCH SMILE". GAGGGGGGGGEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS THE PERFECT SONG. EVER.

the smallest man who ever lived is so savage. she ate

ratty deserves it

thats all

THE ALCHEMY IS SO CUTE!!! UGHHH TRAVIS IS SO GOOD TO HER I CANTTTTTT

i truly don't know how to feel about clara bow like. it's a good song but i genuienly dont know

BUT her saying "you look like taylor swift" gave me goosebumps idk why

ok to be honest overall the bonus songs imo aren't as good as the main album

they're still GOOD but not as good

i don't have much to say about them because i've listened to them but i still need to process them so maybe i can reblog this later with my thoughts abt them but yeah

all i can say is KIM being hidden in thank you aimee gagged me

and the manuscript ate....

this album. is so good. i can't

it's so so so good that's all thank you for reading

[petrichor-reminiscence]

more restoration thots

so, this is me just copy-pasting my original notes i was taking while watching, and i took them on my phone so uh apologies for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors lol ^^; i cleaned it up the best i could but if i missed anything uh no i didn't

note below the cut, spoilers!

the retro convention opening is WILD lmao, keepsake coozie

lmao box canyon bozos 8 love that

this convention is so funny

typing on my phone im dying

all mysteriously disappeared

???

undisclosed oooooooh lmao

Dylan Andrews hasn't met the reds and blues, confirmed retcon then?

KAIIIII

WOOOOOOO

her intro music? iconic

oh shit

"you bitches are on your own"

"epic" LMAO

OMFG IS THAT LOCUS

NO ITS META

OH FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK

IM DYING KFKGKKGKGK

why does this intro feel like a marvel movie

THE REDSSSSS

WOOOOO

WHERE IS DONUT

WHERE IS LOPEZ

SCREAMING

"that's me hi I'm grif"

IN CHARGE OF AMMO LETS GO HAHAHA

"I'm morally opposed to counting"

"I think counting is a gateway drug to mathematics" LMAOO

THE BACKWARDS ONE HAHAHAHAHA PHENOMENAL WAY TO SAY DIVISION

DND REFERENCE

"why are we even here"

WHERE ARE THEY

GRIF STOP GETTING META I WILL CRY

he'll have Lopez do the inventory BUT WHERE IS LOPEZ

BLUE BASE?!?!

SHEILA SOUNDS WRONG

so does caboose, but that's a given

I've gotta gonna stomach it jfjgkgkg

Lopez also sounds wrong

CABOOSE CAN SPEAK SPANISH?!?!

W H A T

HAH can only speak but not understand that is so caboose

okay Sheila is starting to sound a bit more normal

oh fuck is the light epsilons message?!

IT IS THEY PULLED A STARWARS

OH SHIT

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

LOPEZ SPEAKING IN ENGLISH WITH THE SPANISH SUBTITLES

IM DYING HOLY SHIT

is this after thirteen or seventeen? I'm thinking thirteen because Dylan hasn't met them but I can't fucking tell quite yet

unsc military hospital?!?!

IS THIS WHERE WASH IS

OMFG IT IS HE HAS A KITTY ON THE NIGHTSTAND

DOC

he's in pt bitch what happened

screaming

kfmgkkglgmf

"I think I've earned my issues with authority"

DOC KNOWS ABOUT HIS IMPLANTATION TROUBLES NOW?!

he doesn't remember a lot of that??

I'm screaming omfg

someone else's memories? man wash is goin through it

WASNT MUCH OVERLAP IN THEIR PERSONALITIES?!?!? SCREAMING

doc and omega are similar

wash DID feel everything alpha felt confirmed

where tf is tucker

shipyard?

WHOM

is this locus give me locus

NO ITS META TUCKER

theta sounds like apple bloom lmao

tucker is flashing?!?!

SIGMA SHUT

omfg poor tucker I'm gonna start fucjing crying

w h a t

omfg the ship charons ship

Simmons is in charge of zingers

Simmons stop saying sick burn ill cry

caboose sounds so wrong but I'll still have to suck it uppppp

tucker been missing for months again JDJKGKG

everything feels so off im gonna cry

why is grif so aggressive rn?!

oh shit here comes sheila lmao

grif holy shit what is WRONG with you right now?

the music is so evil omfg

CHURCH

he's still dead

lmao I love him

so the rest of the seasons WERE simulations!! gotcha gotcha retcon confirmed

Simmons oh my god you are going crazy

wait no wonder everything feels off

they've been going insane by themselves after everything at chorus ofc they'd act differently

"did you tell ALL the simulations they're real?" "... no?"

"I can't predict how to communicate with caboose" I love this

HAHA HIS WEIRD BRAIN I LOVE THAT

he's literally pyroland tbh

he's so off but I still love him

animated infographic LMAO

there better be fucking sand cutting or slime videos to the side lol

"I hope there's ads!"

OMFG DAVID CAMP CAMP CAMEO

lmao ofc sarge is in a political echochamber lmao

LMAO HE MADE A META JUMPSCARE CHURCH THAT WAS SO UNECESSARY I LOVE YOU

he added a bow-chicka-bow-wow for tucker

aw tucker :(

the visuals omfg

CRYING BABY NOISES IM KFKGKG

CHURCH ON A THERAPY COUCH

LMAO THE DIRECTOR IS THE THERAPIST

"I'm taking full accountability for holding someone else accountable"

oh shit tucker was the great destroyer! holy fuck!

destined to destroy their enemies, the humans

oh shit felix

he's a mix of fucking EVERYONE?!

even felix?

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!

lmao real tucker was the best soldier

he sells tshirts

fuck he withheld the epsilon fragment uh oh

uh oh potential alpha that's unpredictable and terrifying

lol the reds are gonna say no aren't they

this whole epic build up with the help us question? they're gonna say no

HAHA THEY JUST LEFT CALLED IT

LMAO

jesus grif be nice to caboose im gonna have to smack him

simmonssss cmonnnn

caboose noooooo

my heart is breaking rn

oh fuck meta tucker

HES BACK ON THE SHIP

the echo of tuckers actual voice im screaming

oh shit gammas time deception shit noo dont torture my boy

sigmaaaa you are so evil you bastard

oh shit omega

TUCKERS ECHO IM SCREAMING

I can't tell if sigma is actually elijah or not rn

oH shit ten years of torture??

NOOO!!

TUCKER NOOOOOOO

HIS SCREAMING IM GONNA DIE

oh fuck

i'm kfkgkfllskdogo this is more heartbreaking than i expected

YAY WASH TIME

the fucjing recording in the hospital i hate this

this feels like a containment situation not an actual hospital

DR GRAY

oh fuck them treating him like he's crazy

no I'm gonna

gray I will have to fight you

ADMIRAL DONUT?!?!

DOC YOU TOO?!

screaming

CALLING HIM DAVID OH SHIT

gray I wanna hit you

oh poor wash this fucking gaslighting I'm idkgkvkv

oh my god they need to get him out of there wtf

they're treating him like a crazy dementia patient

omfg there they go

there goes the reds in the warthog aka puma

omfg sarge shooting him while talking to him kdkgkvk

479er!!!

SC REAMING

cant tell if its her same va but at this point that's to be expected

omfg epsilon never liked her lol

haha serial killer caboose

THE SLOW TURN CABOOSE AHAHAHA

omfg they are going back to hargroves ship

oh shit they're going for the recovery unit!

his random shut up caboose moments lmao

uh oh pure stealth

lmao immediately abandoning it just like i expected

lmao sarge talking about blasting through everything for eight minutes

lmao even epsilons fragment memory message shit is sleeping haha

dammit sarge

omfg caboose still has his confetti gun

WHERE IS FRECKLES GIVE ME FRECKLES

caboose yelling pew pew omfg and him and sarge back to back im loving this

there's no one in the room

CABOOSE WINS THE PARADE

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

lmao command went to zoom LOL

THEM COMING IN THE ZOOM WITH THE FUCKING GREENSCREEN BACKROINDS AND POUNTING WEAPONS LMAOOO

THE CAT FILTER AHAHAHA

he muted himself

screaming omfg

SOMEONE SAID CHAT

HOLY SHIT

oh shit they're in the main room

grif better find the gridshit

*grifshit

fuck

whatever you get the idea

oh fuck the metas armor TUCKERS THERE

OH FUCK

they're so dumb

they're so fucking dumb

"we're so fucking dumb" EXACTLY WHAT I SAUD

SARGE SAID MONKEYING ABOUT AHAHAHA

oh fuck

chrome dome lmao

oh fuck they're getting their asses kicked

church's late warning lmao

LMAO HES BEATING THEM WITH THE HEALTH KITS

OH FUCK

aw simmons standing in front of caboose trying to talk to tucker

im gonna cry

I'm gonna fucking cey

I fucking jfjgkkgkvb

stop stop stop it stop it

simmons is just making him mad by talking about how shitty blue team i'm fuckin oasigjsdaoigj

NO NOT CABOS

OH FUCJ

NO NO NO NO

I swear to god

THE REDS FUCKIN LEFT

or well they tactically advanced

tucker coming through at intervals

"dont feel bad afterwords I forgive you" FUCK

TUCKER LETTING HIM RUN OFLGKBKH

IM GONNA CRY

did sarge go to save caboose?!

OH ,my GOD

NO NO NO

TUCKER META IS MAKING ME WANNA DIE

SARGE HUZZAH

FUCK YEAH SARGE LETS GO

OH SHIT HE WAS BADASS FOR A MOMENT UNTIL HE RAN OUT OF AMMO

OH FUCK HES BADASS RIGHT NOW

YO

sarge is killing these one liners holy shit

OH FUCK THE SWORD

SARGE JUST GOT STABBED

NO NO NO NO NO NO

NONONONONONONO

FUCK OFF THAT ONE TUMBLR USER WAS RIGHT IM SO PISSED

OH FUCK DID THEY REALLY KILL HIM

FUCK

him holding simmons arm im kfkgkgk

grif on the verge of tears with his voice cracking nooooo

HES TALKING TO THEM LIKE THEYRE HIS SONS

HE SALUTED SARGE

HES GIVING SIMMONS HIS SHOTGUN

HE TOLD HIM HES PROUD OF HIM

"grif?" "I'm here sarge" like INSTANTLY

GRIF AND SRGES MOMENT

SARGE BELIEVED IN HIM

FUCK

NO THIS HURTS

"remember that for me" OH FUCK OFF NO

HES GONE I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT

okay back to wash

let this man free ffs

doc with a medical mask as a disguise

omfg doc busting him out

BLOOD GULCH

THEY BURIED HIM IN BLOOD GULCH

this time they had to actually bury him for realsies

aw he's got a button for vaguely southern insults

them talking about sarge I'm gonna aklglgkhkb

aw he the official leader and his first decision is??

he's discharging grif

OH MY GOD HES SETTING HIM FREE

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

"come with me" !!!

NFKLGLGKGKGKG

they're together they love each other and they need to make out right now

omfg

simmons is gonna stay and help as a good leader

I love him so much OH my god

WHY ARE WE HERE KFKFKVKG

grif please don't leave please

OMFG YAY

FOR OLD TIMES SAKE

SARGE WOULDVE WANTED IT

he never gave up on grif im gonna cry

I'm already crying what am I saying

GRIF SALUTED SARGES GRAVE KDKFKKF

omfg is church gonna get his body back??

I KNEWIT

CABOOSE WAS GONNA DO HIS THING

I KNEW IT FROM THE MOMENT HE GRABBED THE OTHER MEMORY UNIT THING

HES GONNA TELL CABOOSE HOW TO BRING HIM BACK

we lost one leader in 13, then got one back kinda with his messages, then lost one AGAIN, then maybe gaining another one

omfg them trying to tell him they can't bring him back

him repeating memory is the key im fkkgkvf I'm screaming

aw their memories of blood gulch

them sitting there reminiscing on old memories I'm gonna fucjing cry

THE MUSIC DOESNT HELP FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

they're all laughing and reminiscing I'm gonna jfkgkkgkg

omfg the memory unit glowing

THE FLASHBACKS I CANT

the three worst soldiers ever

it's so true though, they are The Worst and I love them so much

oh fuck metas here

oh no

HE HAS THE GRIFSHOT WOOOO

"ready?" "no simmons I am not" about sums it up

simmons fumbling with the shotgun

them charging so slowly with like no motivation omfg it hurts

DOC AND WASH JFKGOGOKGG

oh fuck wash is gonna do something stupid

lmao I love them

OH FUCK WASH

OMFG

"one last story to tell"

omfg he's telling the story about church and tex

kfkgolglglgkvk about og leonard and allison

I can't

"one last adventure grif"

i'm screaming

they're all gonna die aren't they

oh fuck meta is kicking their asses

please church or anyone come back im kfkglg

istg are they gonna kill off everyone except for church?? reverse season 13?

oh fuck there goes diamond arm

*simmons

caboose telling the whole story of church and alpha and the whole lineage is fucking beating me up

the memory shit

CABOOSE SHUT UP IM GONNA DIE

the best memories never die"

CHUR CH OMFG CHURCH????

[7:54 AM]CHURCH CHURCH CHURC H CHURCH?!

lmao grif calling him sir

SIMMONS A CC EPTING HIS LEADER ROLE

FUCK

someone stepped on him, meta?

oh fuck is meta

OH FUCK

omfg Simmons is being a badass

"cmon you dirty blue"

FUCK SIMMONS IS BADASS TN IM KFKKGKV

why is he showing off

OH ITS CUZ HIS ROBOT ARM BROKE HAHA

reminding me of why he was my literal first fictional crush- i mean what who said that

THE SHOTGUN NOOOOOO

WASH SHOW UP RIGHT NOW

WASH COME ON

OMFG CABOOSE

he got thrown?

THEJEEP?!

WHO THREWW THE JEEP

WHO TF THREW THE JEEP

CHURH OR WASH MAYBE

UH OH

TEX?!?!?!

TEX!!!!!!

TEX!!!

TEX IS BACK TEX IW BACK TEX IS BACK

HER IN CHURCHS BODY IM

HEYRE FIGHTING OMFG

jsjfkgkJGKVKVKKGKG

:because I wanted to win" I LOVE HIM

he brought back tex ON PURPOSE

OMFG THEYRE GONNA HELP

ope there they go, so helpful

fucking wash you're a dumbaaa

oh fuck recovery beacon?!

Oh FUCK

LMAO

wash is a dumbass he broke his leg

oh fuck what did he do

wash what did you do

NO HE PULLED A SEASON 8 TEX ON HER

HE BROKE HER BACK LIKE SHE DID TO META IN 8 NOOO

NOOOO

TEX NOOOOO

OMFG THE DROP POD MAINES DROP POD

MAINES DROP POD WHO IS IN IT

CAROLINA!!!!

CAROLINA SHES HERE SHES HERE

YES I MISSED YOU

"she's tex jr" LMAO

CMON LINA THE DEATH BATTLE PREDICTED YOUR WIN COME ON

at least I think she won the death battle vs meta ^^;

TEX!!!

OMFG SHES GONNA GO THROUGH THE PORTAL AND TURN BLACK

OMFG MOTHER AND DAUGHTER REUNITING

THE MUSIC HER MUSIC

JRJFJ B B JGKGI

"she's back in black... stuff" ICONIC

HOLY FUCK

KICK HIS ASS GIRLS!!!!!

THE MUSIC FOR ROUND ONE BULLFIGHT LETS GOOO

FUCK

omfg caboose wtf are you doing

caboose

holy shit

caboose what the fuck

I love him

oh shit

the wall is crumbling

oh fucl

oh fuck blood gulch is breaking

this is symbolic somehow to me but my brain is dead too MUCH

"not my fault, someone put a wall in my way" YES ICONIC YES WOOO

THERE GOES THE SWORD

FUCK

LINA NO

LINA NO

TEX FUCK YES FUCK HIM UP

Istg if they make washilina canon im killing myself

oh fuck tex!

NO!!!

I'm sad now

FUCK NO HE HAS HIS GUN META HAS TAKEN BACK THE GRIFSHOT

NO HE STABBED HER

SHIT

SIGMA HOLY SHIT

SHES IN A ROBOT BODY THO SO MAYBE SHE'LL BE OKAY???

stop calling her a shadow :( I'll cry

LITERALLY SEASON 8 REFLECTIONS HOLY SHIT

DAYUM SIGMAS CHEEKS

are they gonna use the car again

holy shit she's based on caboose and the rest of em

YES SHE ALWAYS KICKED THEIR ASSES

YES TEX LETS GO

SOME T ING SOMETHING ABOUT OTHERS MEMORIES INSTEAD OF DIRRCTORS SDAJGOIASDJ SCREAMING

HAHA SHE GOT HIS NUTS AND ITS NOT GRIF FOR ONCE LOL

LETS GO

"like some kind of ball? from sports?"

SARGE IS BACK LIKE MUFASSA

DONUT IS BACK IN A CHEERLEADER OUTFIT

YEAH

WOOOO

"that was the best throw... ever. of all time." SCREAMING

FUCK YEAH THAT NERD HAS A REALLY GOOD ARM

TEX GET HIM PLEASE

she got him!!!

[8:06 AM]OH ,fuck

THETA NO MY HEART HURTS :(

HAHA SIGMA FUCK YOU CRY ABOUT IT

TEX NOOOOOO!!!!

I mean she had to go too ig

:(

CHURCH?

tex!!

OMFG HIM AND TEX HIM AND TEX

THEYRE TOGETHER AGAIN FINALLY

THEYRE TOGETHER AGAIN THEYRE TOGETHER AGAIN

THEM WALKING OFF IOSADJGOASDJG

LEANORD AND ALLISON FJVKGKKVKBKVKVLGPPFOG

TUCKER PLEASE BE OKAY OH MY GOD

HES OKAY THANK GOD

OH MY GOD

FUCK YEAH

they're back home:) I'm crying

"ow-sicka-ow-ow

Simmons I love you

Simmons I love you so much

but tucker is right dont ever do that agai

lmao kept asking if there were hot nurses I love you tucker

aw them reminiscing about tex and carolina handling it well!

CABOOSE DESTROYED IT

THERE THEY GO

ITS OVER

SHE SAID GOODBYE TO TEX

HE SAID GOODBYE TO CHURCH

NO

IM HURTING

it's over Lina is right

"the right part is the part that is the sad part"

me too buddy

lol wash breaking his leg, dumbass

doc being an actual medic? lets go lets go

OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

HES BEEN IMAGINING DOC THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!?!

FUCK

HOLY FUCK

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

"is the floating eye in the room with us right now wash?"

OH SHIT WAIT

NORTH!!!!!

YORK!!!!

FLORIDA FLOWERS!!!1

CT!!!

MAINE!!!!!

I'm screaming I'm actually screaming

omfg it was all Carolina talking

her and wash having the sweetest moment

if they kiss I'm killing myself

"am I gonna be okay?"OIASJGIOSDJGIOSDAJGOIAS STOP BEING ME AGENT WASHINGTON

MY HEART BREAKS FOR HIM OASIDJGSDA

"were gonna be it together" they better be siblings or I'm killing myself

oh shit it's 9er!!!

OMFG ITS ONE LMAO

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA AND THE FUCKIN MUSIC TOO

lol ofc had an entire room full of shotguns

grif is gone now? :(

he's leaving I cant my heart hurts

omfg there they are

"hey Simmons"

"yeah?"

"did you ever figure it out?"

SCREAMING

GRIF YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY

FUCJ GRIF IS REALLY LEAVING

THERE HE GOES

FUCK THIS HURTS

MY HEARTBHURTS

lmao caboose screaming at him

"beat it!"

lmao I love them

he's apologizing for the shitty war lmao

HAHA THEY WERENT GOOD CABOOSE YOURE RIGHT

that's it

it's over

everything hurts

it WAS og sheila!! i wonder why she sounded so off to me

META WAS MILES LETS GOOOO good for hm!

the pictures of their old stuff too

I'm so fucjijg

jfjgkkg

ouchies

like can you not

SECRET ENDING AYO?!

"bow-chicka-bye-now!" TUCKER IM GOING TO KMS

(after a good sob-sesh lol)

now that i am semi-alive and semi-coherent, here are some (potentially) rational thoughts and feelings

wash's ptsd? FUCK dude. doc being a hallucination the whole fucking time?! FUCK dude. i, that hurt me so much, i'm fucking OWIES. as a ptsd-having bitch myself, uh, hey OUCH. carolina reminding him that the memories will live on, that it wasn't his fault, and it all manifesting in the old freelancers i'm gonna oijdgoidasjg i'm gonna kms i swear to god i swear to gOD this is it this is the last fucking straw

and SARGE

fucking SARGE

that was fucking awful

i loved it and i wanna kms

the way he died sacrificing himself for a fucking blue

the way he told simmons he was proud of him, told grif he never gave up on him even when grif himself had given up, giving SIMMONS HIS SHOTGUN.

man.

them burying him at blood gulch, simmons becoming team leader and having a badass moment only to be instantly cut down by the meta is both so silly and so fucking aosidgjdsoaigjd hhhhh

badass simmons supremacy

missing season 15 knife simmons right about now :((

and the fucking GRIMMONS

FUCK DUDE

simmons finally getting everything ready and in order for grif to be free

if you love something set them free or whatever

FUCK DUDE MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH

and the new va for caboose was trying his damndest and i'm so proud of him

and caboose bringing back TEX INSTEAD OF CHURCH BECAUSE HE KNEW THEY'D NEED HER?! AND TEX BEING RESURRECTED IN THE MEMORIES OF THE ONES WHO SAW HER AS BADASS INSTEAD OF A FAILURE?1 CHURCH AND TEX FINALLY GETTING THEIR HAPPY FUCKIGN ENDING?!!??!?!?!

im

thank you burnie for that one at least

you did angry mom and angry dad a service

tex just being forgotten, being fucked over, that was never satisfying to me, it always just hurt so much, i'm so glad they got the ending they deserved

i'm screaming

i'm gonna fucking cry

AND SO MANY FUCKING CALLBACKS TO SEASON 8, CUZ LIKE AFTER THAT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHEN BURNIE WASN'T WRITING IN THE FRONT SEAT ANYMORE

I'M ACTUALLY GONNA FUCKING OIADSJGOISDAJG

and poor wash, no wonder i felt so fucking sick to my stomach watching all of the scenes with him, just, the ptsd and everything like that FUCK dude

he just like me fr man :(

and can we talk about ADMIRAL DONUT?!

FUCKING ADMIRAL?! DONUT LET'S GO YOU'RE THE FUCKING BEST

and him appearing to simmons in his mind in a cheerleader fit was fucking phenomenal 10/10

everything feels so empty right now

fuck nothing has made me wonder 'why are we here?' more than this moment right now

my dread is gone, it's all over, we've reached the conclusion and i've seen it and i don't have to wait anxiously anymore

but everything hurts right now man :(

and the ending with wash and lina i genuinely could not tell if they were pushing romance or not

i think they were purposefully keeping it vague to keep shippers from going haywire, or maybe it was really just platonic sibling 'i'll be there for you' love

they are the siblings ever. of all time.

AND SIMMONS HAVING A DAMN GOOD THROWING ARM?! HELLO?!

WASHINGTON SAYING THAT WAS THE BEST THROW EVER OF ALL TIME?!

CABOOSE SYAING NOT MY FAULT SOMEONE PUT A WALL IN MY WAY?!

i'm

this is too much

idk i want him to sleep but i am so unwell right now i fucking dioajgoidsjgiodsjg

but tex and church got their ending and i'm gonna try to focus on that

plus, it's fictional, we can write all the fix-its or aus we want

i need to remember that

it's impactful to me, it's been my whole fucking life basically, but it's a story and i don't want to let myself suffer genuine consequences from stressing out over a story

it'll be okay

church and tex got their happy ending it HAS to be okay

aaaaand these were my brain-rot notes! lmao hope any of y'all enjoyed reading my reactions here to some scenes haha

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 12

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

"You know friends with benefits never work, don't you?" Amanda told Sofia as she rolled her eyes and sigh.

"I don't wanna be his girlfriend," Sofia shrugged, setting her phone in silence as the Twitter and Instagram notifications kept coming. Apparently, people found out who she was and they were blowing up her phone. Obviously, she didn't acknowledge it.

"Says no woman ever,"

"I know, but—look," Sofia sighed again and sat straighter on the couch facing her friend, she looked around because they were in Amanda's parent's house about to lunch. "He's the first queer, nonwhite, Latina, immigrant woman he ever wanted to date, I mean look at all of his exes."

"Okay, he's definitely into brunettes and white,"

"Yes, there's a part of me that's thinking that maybe he's…" Sofia tried to think of a subtle way to say it. "experimenting, and there's going to be nowhere and that left me high and dry when he realized that he's not that into me that much."

"Have you asked him?"

"No," She answered and Mandy just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "He's going to say that's not true."

"Because it's not. Why does it seems like I know him more than you do, he never said anything remotely like that." She now rolled her eyes at her. "This is you sabotaging yourself, as usual."

"No, it's me trying to protect myself. I don't wanna fall in love with him and shit,"

"Again, talk with him. I'm sure he'll compromise with you at some level,"

"He's away all the time and I hate flying, I hate LA,"

"Oh my God,"

"I'm going to get all weird seeing him kissing other people," Sofia explained. "and he's going to think I'm an insecure, immature little girl that can't handle that." Sofia pouts and crosses her arms.

"Sofia," Her friend scoot closer on the couch and looked at her. "I heard you, about everything and I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel about it, but you need to communicate if you what this to work out for you."

"I'm scared Mandy, because I really like him," Her eyes got all glossy. "I know he's a good man but I'm scared shitless. I can't physically take another loss. You know how hard it was for me to leave my ex, just because of that and it got so fucking ugly on the end."

"I know, I was there," She said and her bottom lip tremble. " crying with you non stop for two years, I know but you know she's a piece of shit and took advantage of you because you were in a very vulnerable position."

"Yeah, I know," Sofia wipe her tears with the back of her hand and sighed, "Stop crying, you're making me cry,"

"I just want you to be happy, you're my best friend I love you so much," Amanda was full-blown sobbing hysterically as Sofia was holding her and chucking. "Capitan America wants to be your boyfriend stupid bitch," She kept sobbing and Sofia laughed.

"I know, I'm just emotional and I'm about to get my period, hormones."

"Your period?" Amanda asked separating and looked at her, pensively. "wait, what date is today?"

"It's the fourteen,"

"Oh,"

Sofia sat down straighter and give her a look. "Are you late?"

"Yeah," Amanda said looking down at her stomach. "Like, three weeks late."

Sofia looked at her belly and mutter. "Jesus, Maria y Jose."

"Holy shit." Amanda blinked a few times and they stare at each other for a full minute.

"Your dad it's going to fucking kill Luke."

~~~~

It's been around a week and a handful of days since the last time Sofia saw Chris, he was already in town since last night but he slept on his mom's house.

Also, Amanda was fucking pregnant.

You up?

She texted Chris at two am. Of course, he wasn't because he was an old man.

I gotta tell u something.

It's important and I need to tell someone I'm really bad at secrets, I just can't.

But you can't tell

I'll literally kill u,

And I'm getting away with it because I know too much about murder men, it's insane.

I'm up, I'm up. I'm watching a movie with Scott, he says hi and also wants to meet u and plot murder.

Also, what's the juicy secret?

Amanda is pregnant and your brother is way handsome than you.

Chris was calling almost immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"Amanda is having a baby,"

"No, about Scott being handsome than me," He asked and Sofia let out the loudest laugh, God she needed that.

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," She laughed. "I miss your face."

" I miss you, too." He laughed.

"Is Scott there?, we follow each other on Twitter and made fun of you."

"You two what," He asked and she could hear Scott laughing on the background. "You made fun of me with my girl?"

"Yeah, I slide in her DMS." Scott laughed and Chris was red as a tomato.

"Dude," He said and Sofia heard a lot of ow's and she laughed. "And about the other things, what the fuck?"

"Yes, I'm freaking out. Mandy's at Luke's house now but I don't know, she didn't text me. I can't sleep," She groaned and Chris stood quiet for a moment.

"Want me to come over?"

"Please?"

~~~

"Oh, hi," Sofia exclaimed as soon she opened the door, Chris grabbed her face and plant a quick kiss.

"Hi," He smiles, still cupping her face. "Hello," Chris kissed her again making her laugh.

"You dork," She said as she took his hand and took it to the kitchen, "Want something? I'm about to stress bake."

Chris laughed while he sat on the high chairs. "Mandy didn't text u?"

"No, dude. I'm freaking out, I know Luke it's the sweetest," She said giving her back to Chris as she measures some flour.

"He's going to be over the moon, I'm not supposed to tell you this but he's been thinking about proposing,".

Sofía was taken aback for a moment there but a huge smile, she turned around and look at him.

"Are our best friends getting married and having a kid?"

Chris laughed and nod, "Yeah, guess so?"

"Yeah," She smiles. "So weird," She turned around and Chris walked up to her, leaning on the counter beside her.

"Why?"

"Don't know, I'm happy don't get me wrong, I just. It's weird for me because it's," She stumbles over her words a little. "it's the first time I'm seeing this going right for someone I deeply care about."

Chris made a face and she laughed.

"I have really shitty examples on my life," She went again to her baking. "My mom and dad fought a lot, they had to get married because they were having my brother—

"Wait, you have a brother?," He asked, surprised. "You never mentioned him."

"We don't really speak, well I don't speak to him,"

"Why?"

Sofía pursed her lips together and give Chris a look, she didn't want him to think less of him or him judging her about what went down.

"Can we skip that part?"

Chris quickly nod, "Yeah, of course," He said putting a hand on her shoulder. "whenever you're ready,"

"Okay," She nod too and remained silent. "it's just, I'm sorry." Sofia took a deep breath and wipe a tear. "I've never had a normal family dynamics until I've meet Mandy's family and a still feel so out of place sometimes, it's weird—" She chuckles. "I'm weird."

"It's not weird, you're not weird. I've gathered that you went through some shit that no kid should go through," Chris said and Sofia stopped moving and looked at the bowl in front of her. "things that obviously hurt you still."

"Stop." She told him trying not to cry and took another deep breath trying to pass the lump on her throat but her lower lip was trembling.

"Hey, hey," Chris grabbed her and hugged her, but she pushed him away and went back to the counter.

"You like muffins?" She asked in a small voice and Chris just stare at her, he just shut him out on whatever it's going up with her. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yes. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She nod.

Sofía was feeling like an idiot, she didn't want to be crying on his arm about her shitty life, to someone that obviously couldn't relate because he also had the perfect family, the perfect brothers. His fucking life was perfect. She didn't want him to see her like a wounded little girl.

"Sofia?"

"Just drop it, forget about it." She said going to the fridge and grabbed some milk.

"What? come on baby, you know you can talk about me about anything," Chris told her and she just chuckles. "Is this funny to you?"

"I can't talk to you about everything, there's a lot of things we can't relate to Chris." She quickly answered him.

"I know that, but I can listen. You can open up with me for fuck's sake," Chris said frustrated and Sofia sigh. "You're always shutting me out when we even slightly touch a subject you don't like, I've known you for like almost two years and I right now found out you have a brother. You know everything about me, you know my fucking whole family,"

"Yeah, and now you're now throwing it back at my face."

"I'm not throwing it back at your face, you can tell me anything, Sofia." He said and she shook her head.

"Why do you wanna know so bad? I'm just some girl you're fucking." She asked him and Chris was taken aback.

"You're not—is that what you think of me?, that I'm so guy you're fucking?"

"Are you not?" She asked nonchalantly and Chris lost his shit.

"Woow, that's how it is?, like I'm nothing to you." He said taking a step back.

"Why the fuck are you pushing this so much? what are you gonna do? I don't want your fucking pity and I don't fucking need you either." She was spitting venom at him, feeling attacked at everything he was doing.

"You're being a fucking asshole right now," He told her and Sofia rolled her eyes. "I just wanna know my fucking girlfriend."

"I'm most definitely not your girlfriend, I won't ever be your girlfriend" She answered and Chris just stared at her, feeling hurt.

"You know what, fuck you," he muttered angrily and turned around, nervous.

"There we go, pretty Chris don't get what he wants and he lashes out," She mumbled and pointed at him. "And now you leave,"

Chris rubbed his beard and grabbed his phone. "When you want talk this shit out, let me know. I'll be staying two more days and then I'm back in LA, you know I'm leaving for three months. Because I tell you all the shit I do," He pointed out again and Sofia just shrugged.

"Whatever, you know where the door is." She didn't even look at him, Chris was fuming. Sofía flinch when she heard the door shut.

~~~

Well, shit.

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart