#thanks for being interested in my wips!!!!
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crimsoncold · 2 days ago
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Jonsa Fairytale AU (True Love's Kiss) by @crimsoncold
If you must mourn, my love Mourn with the moon and the stars up above If you must mourn Don't do it alone
...
If you must die, sweetheart Die knowing your life was my life's best part If you must die Remember your life
-Keaton Henson, You
For a while l've been considering doing a Fairytale inspired jonsa AU but was never able to make up my mind in terms of which specific fairytale I wanted to base my art piece around (i could of course just do multiple ones but with already so many WIPs i didn't want to plan to add several more into my art rotation) so unable to make a decision I set the idea aside to work on other more concrete art ideas.
Then of course I saw the prompts for the Jonsa Valentine 2025 event, and it really did seem like the world itself was encouraging me to make a fairytale jonsa art piece.
This time I chose to avoid basing it on one specific fairytale and instead considered more general fairytale tropes that are found across many tales when I was brainstorming ideas on what I would make for this prompt.
In the end I decided to use the trope of True Love's Kiss (i.e. A kiss imbued with it's own sort of magic, able to break a curse, or even bring someone back from literal death) both because I thought it would be visually interesting and because I felt it would incorporate several elements of asoiaf/got canon.
(i.e. both the inherent romanticism of Jon and Sansa's personalities and storylines as well as specific events like Jon's tragic "death" and his later resurrection as well as the likely possibility of Sansa being the girl in grey fleeing north to be reunited with her "brother")
As for the related quote, I had been struggling to pick one as most of my possible choices, while admittedly poignant and romantic, felt very specific to either Jon or to Sansa in this art piece rather than being about the two of them together, so I'm actually really pleased with my final choice (lyrics from Keaton Henson's song You) as it feels like it had segments that represent the differing perspectives/wishes of both Jon and Sansa in this scenario.
I was pushing hard to have this finished in time (with the event being about a month a way when I first started this) and even though it ended up taking me a lot more time than I had hoped, I am happy with my decision to make two versions of this artwork as i feel the most satisfying element and impactful part of this fairytale trope is in the profound transformation it can create, and to do this justice I really felt I needed a before and after version of Sansa's Kiss being what brings Jon back from the dead.
Anyway thats about all the background info I'd like to dump on you about this piece so l'll end this on a thank you; specifically thank you to anyone who found, liked, or shared this piece and/or bothered to read my rambling thoughts about making this, as well as a thank you to everyone in this fandom who arranged and/or participated in this event!
Being part of a small but so dedicated fandom is just the sort of thing that makes me happy when everything else around me starts to feel harsh and distressing. I hope you all have a wonderful day and that everyone feels inspired to keep making and sharing all sorts of art and creative pieces for this fandom- it seems a very small thing in the scope of everything happening in the world and our lives but its still something that brings some much needed joy that I think many (especially myself) greatly value while also forgetting or struggling to actually find a way to adequately express our appreciation... so this is just my attempt to say thank you all for making this little slice of fandom so wonderful!
-Crimson Cold
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bidisasterevankinard · 1 day ago
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Inspiration Saturday
Today was really productive day! I was inspired for two new wips(my old wips and my brain cry yeah). Anyway, meet actor Buck and basketball player Tommy that was inspired by Oliver's all star game, and the baby trapping (with a twist where Tommy traps himself with Buck's baby) inspired by my post and tags
Moodboards and edit for actor/player
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Little snippet for baby trapping:
"Do you want to feed her?" Evan asks, not looking at him checking the temperature of the bottle.
"I don't know how to do it," Tommy confesses sheepishly.
"I can teach you."
And what can Tommy do except agree?
And long under cut for actor/basketball player:
After rubbing his eyes five times and rereading the short post - Going to coach a team blue. Who should be in it?- on his screen a dozen more times, Buck calls Eddie.
His manager can do anything he wants, sell his ass or soul to whoever he needs to. But Buck will play.
The second the call connected he’s throwing his words at the man.
“I need you to put me in an ‘all star celebrity game’. Blue team.”
Eddie is silent and Buck checks his phone to see the call wasn’t disconnected. 
“Hi, Buck. I'm fine, thanks for asking,” finally the bitchy answer comes, and Buck rolls his eyes.
Doesn’t Eddie understand that life or death matters?
“Eddie, I'm not playing. I must play it this year. In blue time.”
“Why?”
“Because of Tommy Kinard, duh,” he answers.
“Ok? You know you sound like a teenager right now? What if I will put you under home arrest?”
“Eddie, you won’t!”
“Annoy me more and I will, young man,” Eddie says in his dad voice.
“We’re the same age!”
“And yet, I’m the mature one,” Eddie deadpans and Buck shrugs. Maybe Eddie is more mature. Buck won’t let him win. “Anyway, why is it so important for you to be in Kinard’s team? Besides him being one of the best players of the last fifteen years?”
“Tommy Kinard was my bi awakening when I was 15 and was watching him play. I saw that man running, his dick jumping in those shorts and I was like ‘yeah, I want to bounce on it’,” Buck licks his lips opening his tumblr on the laptop and checking the latest gif of that monster jumping in Kinard's shorts during the last game.
Damn, Buck wants to be destroyed by it.
“Too much information,” Buck can hear Eddie growing in disgust. 
“I'm sorry. But now you understand why? I must meet him Eddie. I want him to train me for that game.” 
“You want to meet your celebrity crush? Why do I feel it's not just platonic?”
 “Because it's not. I wanted to bounce on that dick for ten years. And I finally have a chance,” Buck rolls his eyes again. 
How does Eddie not understand? Would he not fuck the actresses from one of his telenovelas if he had a chance?
 “Why are you so sure you're his type? He can be straight.” 
“Eddie, Tommy Kinard came out two years ago. And I saw men he likes. I AM his type. And I will bounce on that dick. If not before the game then after. But I'm sure I will bounce on that dick the night after our first meeting. 
“Can you please stop talking about bouncing on his dick and I promise you're on the team?” Edddie basically begs and Buck takes pity on him.
 “Deal.”
 “Good. And don’t forget protection for your leg,” Buck agrees and then Eddie, with a smirk Buck can hear, adds, “and condoms.”
Buck laughs.
 “Don't worry about it, dad. I promise not to get pregnant.”
“Keep the daddy issue for Kinard.”
“Ah, do you think he would love me calling him daddy?”
Buck feels his dick throbbing in interest and bites his lip, not to traumatize Eddie.
“BYE, BUCK!”
Eddie drops the call and Buck just shrugs, opens his laptop, with his favorite video of all the best shots of Kinard’s dick - he’s not the only fan of that obscene thing - and takes the lube and dildo out.
He should train for the real game.
Np tagging @hippolotamus @mmso-notlikethat @quintessenceofdust88 @theotherbuckley @powersuitup @diazsdimples @typicalopposite @laundryandtaxesworld @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @midsummersmorn @monsterrae1 @weewookinard @ravipanikking @racerchix21 @devirnis @agentpeggycartering @aringofsalt @bi-buckrights @pirrusstuff @setmeatopthepyre @hyperfocusthusly @epiphainie @loucifersbitch @repressedqueen @perfectlysunny02 @bigfootsmom @bewilderedbuckley @diazheartsbuckley @aplaceinme @cliophilyra and anyone who wants to
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crkfragmentedsouljams · 1 day ago
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SINCE NOW EP8 OF BEAST YEAST HAS FINALLY RELEASED..(as of writing this) im gonna finally talk abt my crk au ive been thinking of for months-
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| Fragmented Souljams AU! — Introduction/Masterpost ig-
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(FSAU for short)
This crk au is basically: What if the ancients loses to the beast and is now under their control? :)
| General Info:
Blog is owned by @cheesymellow (MINOR!) :D.
This is still a massive WIP and i dont have that much planned rn for this. But feel free to ask questions in my asksbox or in the comments!-
Fanart & Fanfiction are COMPLETELY OKAY!! Aslong as its sfw (any fanart/fanfic made by another person is not considered canon)
If you want you can even ask stuff to the cast! Ex: “Empty Vanilla how is it like in the spire?”, or “Soulless cacao, Do you like peach baos?”. (Its optional to call the ancients by their AU name btw, you can still call them Pure Vanilla, Dark cacao, & Golden cheese :D)
If you have any non-au related questions, Just ask in my main blog @cheesymellow
Eyy you interested? If you are, All character info & stories r DOWN BELOW!!
| The Lineup of characters! (DC is incomplete 💔)
—Designs might change in the future!
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Lets start off with..
| Pure Vanilla/Empty Vanilla
Empty vanilla is now a shell of his former self. His souljam exploding unknowingly whilst falling down the tower (EP7). Injuring him in the chest and half of his face, even severely damaging his memories… Now with those damaged memories. He contemplates if he is “Pure Vanilla” or “Truthless Recluse”. Residing in shadow milk’s domain to find answers. (At least, thats what he’s been told.)
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As for Gingerbrave, Strawberry, And Wizard cookie. They all are forced to reside in the spire. Reluctantly joining shadow milk TEMPORARILY obeying orders as they try to escape and recover Empty Vanilla’s memories. (cant think of a color palette)
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– Extra Info!:
Empty Vanilla was given his name by none other than Black Sapphire! He found it fitting considering he doesn’t know what he is.
His personality is a mix of Pure Vanilla & Truthless Recluse. Kind and forgiving but sometimes rude and pissed (Mostly to Shadow Milk ☺️)
80% of the time you’ll find him sleeping. The 20% is him doing orders/chores
Also Re-learning both Light magic & Dark Moon magic. That wont go wrong right?
He can see WAYY better now and doesn’t need his staff! He only uses it to do magic. (which is barely)
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| Golden Cheese/Lusterless Cheese
Burning Spice had TOOO much fun fighting with Golden Cheese that he shattered her souljam in the process. But even after doing that. He still continued to fight her until she somehow managed to escape. Crumbling and bleeding jam as she was holding a piece of her souljam. That had enough power to heal her but… She couldn’t reclaim it. For she has lost to Burning Spice. After that she manages to find Smoked Cheese and barely escape together… They’re now both lost in the desert trying to hide from the Spice Swarm.
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Smoked Cheese is in worse condition. His arm almost falling off yet surprisingly still very strong. He still has the soulcheeses with him and vows to protect it with his life despite his dying state.
– Extra Info!:
Lusterless Cheese was a nickname given to her by the Spice Swarm after she lost to Burning Spice. She isnt really that shiny and golden now is she?. Only Smoked Cheese calls her Golden Cheese. (Also just a name so i can differentiate her from canon and this au)
Constantly gets reminded of that fight and is slowly losing hope
She took extra clothes from a nearby village due to hers being heavily damaged & dirty. And has wrapped bandages over all her scratches.
Her wings are slowly regrowing thanks to the bit essence of her souljam!
Speaking of souljam, Burning Spice is delighted by this change. Trying to find out what the shattered souljam can do.
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| Dark Cacao/Soulless Cacao (CANT DECIDE ON A DESIGN JS GIMME A DAY OR TWO IT WILL BE HERE SOON-)
Kneeling down infront of Mystic Flour as he accepts his fate and sees his souljam getting taken.. Mystic Flour attempts to turn him into flour for she feels pity for him. But alas.. No matter how hard she tried, He wouldnt disolve completely. Even after giving up. Until she realized his souljam was shaking uncontrollably, Then—Poof! Shatters unknowingly and simply loses its shine. She is lead to believe this is fate telling her that Dark Cacao could be of good use to her. So she recruits him to become his servant/devoted follower. He accepts willing to find a purpose.
As for his warriors. They are lost in beast yeast, Currently having made their own campsite while trying to find their king.
– Extra Info!:
Soulless Cacao was a name given by Cloud Hatae (Yes this 💩 is alive). Just a random nickname on spot since he has changed.
He dosent use his sword anymore. Doesn’t commit violence at all
As days go by, His memories fade away bit by bit.
He loves watering the plants of the ivory pagoda. And has made good friends with the guards and even Peach Blossom.
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Thats all for now- Ill add more info soon so stay tuned
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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from: @starflungwaddledee to: @post-it-notes7
message from santa: "happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me. i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas! ~starflung 🎀🔔 "
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ragsy · 1 year ago
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Workin' on a new painted grinning beast mask >:)
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sentimentalslut · 6 months ago
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Sometimes I want to yell at you to update your fics but I remember you’re a whole ass lawyer and have a life.
also writers block dont forget the writers block
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eastofedean · 5 months ago
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I need to read your fanfics
ngl me too, anon! I wish I'd be able to finish them 😪
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bykalopsia · 9 months ago
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i caved and drew out a silly ship web for the boonboomgers (under the cut bc i wrote Thoughts also the sixth is there)
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notes:
ishiro -> taiya is the singular "fact of life" tier. like in whatever configuration of these i end up writing that is Always True
taiya -> ishiro is downgraded one step solely bc i think it being unrequited is Hilarious. also tirebrake is peak so. (taiya immediately noticing genba was gone this episode and frantically looking around and calling his name...... Effected Me.)
formally coming out as the sole accelbrake hater... it has to be said. 50% is bc it's sincerely nothing and the other 50% is i have to see it all the time. very much reeks of shipper's math which i hate
there are other reasons AB doesn't appeal to me but those are just personal preferences. (tldr it just appeals to tropes i find boring)
to me mira is an otome game heroine. ie inherently lovable and has good chemistry with practically everyone. good for her!!!! but yes she works with anyone currently, though i have a preference for mirrormeter / mirrorbrake
"why did you put tirecircuit there when sakito was announced literally hours ago?" you may ask. because i'm a madman. also he's supposed to be a rival and we see how i act re: taiya's previous rival so. i'm sensing it will be dire for me. but who knows? let's see if i get proven wrong.
anyway my True Vision is the tirebrakemirrormeter polycule ft. jou who sometimes gets his kisses in when he's feeling up for it. intensely funny. i can't wait for sakito to drastically change all of my settled thoughts on this yippee!!!!!!!!! (this can meld into tiremeterbrake + accelmirror depending on the day? haven't totally made up my mind orz)
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ackackh · 1 year ago
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FWB Brad (slaughterhouse 5)?
Ah, this one! Thanks for the ask!
I think it was over the summer (?) I read Slaughterhouse 5 for the first time and, obviously, I loved it. And I’m always trying to experiment with voice and whatnot as I try to solidify my own and figure out what style I feel comfortable in, so I took an old idea I had and paired it with the idea of a nonlinear narrative (In the way S5 utilizes it as tool for characterization). It’s about Brad and a childhood friend, she was there before the ex and the ex best friend, before military school, and she’s stuck beside him all this time. At some point, their relationship turns to a Friends with Benefits situation. Later, he meets Nate and falls in love, and she helps him figure it all out.
I’mmmmm feeling self-conscious about it, but I think it’s good to share anyway 🫡
Ronnie is the only person who knows Brad kissed one of his roommates Sophomore Year.
A few weeks after Brad and Steph have sex for the first time, he tells Ronnie about the kiss over the two beers they stole from Brad’s parents. Brad has no tolerance for alcohol and the one goes to his head even quicker than usual; the summer heat sees him in basketball shorts and a tee-shirt, lying on his back across from Ronnie in her little brother’s tree-house. He plays with the hem of his shorts and doesn’t look at Ronnie’s face when he says it.
“Huh,” Ronnie says, “I wouldn’t have expected that from you. Was there tongue?”
“No,” and then, “does it matter?”
“No.”
“It’s wrong, isn’t it?”
Ronnie sighs, “It isn’t wrong to kiss boys, Brad.”
Brad laughs, a little drunk, then turns on himself and corrects her, “No, I mean, because I’m with Steph.” He looks at Ronnie now and sees what he’d felt: she’s been watching him the whole time with that wrinkle between her eyebrows. It’s a beautiful wrinkle.
“There wasn’t even tongue.” Ronnie shrugs and says, “barely a kiss, anyway.”
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guidingthulite · 1 year ago
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Alma Tries (and fails) to write the next chapter of famed fanfiction This Is Like My Sister's Shoujo Mangas But Worse
extremely self indulgent rant (and the consequences of said rant) below
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ladyazulina · 2 years ago
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@cilly-the-writer
So... I just read all you have around about Shadows of Sorcery and I can say I was hooked from the first post more than enough to read everything in a moment. And anyone can say it wasn't much, but I don't feel only invested now. It's kind of 'I need to know everything, tell me EVERYTHING, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.
E(F)lora's story feels so interesting, I even like her temporary name. And the magic is so, uuuuuuuh, fitting. I loved Imogen at first appearance and was able to imagine her just like she is, so sunny and with such vitality (Elora, she was upset about the aloe vera! AAAAAAHHHHHH) and she was about to die just like that! And who wouldn't want enhanced balance like Elora? The goddess knows I need that.
I want to see Imogen gathering the firelights, she's just THE friend
I kinda just got confused with Charlotte's kind of magic, I even went looking for the post where you talked about them and was like uuuuuuh, I only get the Caster and the Dreamer, what's the rest????
I wanted to dive into that kind of world, like... what would I be? What would my characters be? It feels so fricking exciting!!
Can we have a master post with all the links placed? Because I was almost crying while looking for the first part
I see in the near future a quiz to know what your type of magic is, it would be marvelous.
Hoping to continue reading! At the pace you set ♥
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lemon-mint-writes · 2 years ago
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Chapter 2 is up! (Technically posted on time too so proud of myself for that hehe)
Today's theme was hurt/comfort, and it's the first George pov of the fic :))
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amanitacurses · 2 days ago
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I lost 🫠 my files,,,
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emberfaye · 10 months ago
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You know what?
I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.
I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)
I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.
I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.
I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.
I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.
I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.
I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.
I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.
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cosybunny · 5 months ago
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my self-indulgent silly nonsense fic: *exists*
me: *reading it instead of writing the rest of it* oh my god this is so much self-indulgent silly nonsense who the fuck would want to read this
the bottom of the incomplete fic: sup
me:
me: *scrolls more aggressively* I NEED MORE
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lo1k-diamonds · 7 months ago
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A woman's best friend 💜
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PAIRING: Taehyung x (f)reader
SUMMARY: When you met, you and Taehyung hit it off instantly, becoming the closest of friends. You thought he was off-limits. Meanwhile, he’s been begging for a chance to put an end to your friendship.
WORD COUNT: 7,004 
GENRE: friends to ?, smut
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: mutual pining, dirty talk, body worship, nipple play, oral (both), rough, sweet, bittersweet, mentions of alcohol, talks about Tae's sexuality
A.N. I heard Fri(end)s and had the idea for this fic... I love this song sooooo much 💜 Thanks to @downbad4yoongi for the beta read! Thank you to @eerieedits for the awesome banner 💜 Edited as I prepare a part 2 😋
Masterlist | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs | AO3 | Wattpad
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“Fuck, what I wouldn't give for cock right now.”
Your voice came out in a low groan right before you brought your cold beer bottle to your lips to take a few swigs. The TV was blaring a new episode of Physical:100, and you understood everyone’s obsession with Amotti’s body. For you, it was the lack of sex mixed with alcohol, hormones, and being exposed to hot guys on the TV on a Saturday night. Well, and in real life.
You looked at Taehyung out of the corner of your eye. He had taken off his black leather jacket, but his tight white shirt accentuated his chest and wide shoulders. His dark eyes had jumped to yours at your words, but he was drinking his beer and didn’t stop. He was very handsome, something you noticed the moment you met him during photography class when he asked you for help with a project. Your heart had fluttered hard but had since calmed down — he didn’t look at you that way. He was there to admire Amotti’s abs with you. 
At least you had a friend to share these debaucheries with.
“I mean,” he voiced as soon as his lips were free. “I have one right here.”
You threw your head back, laughing, “I know.” You made sure to tap his chest playfully before reaching for another cherry in a bowl on the coffee table, pulling it from the stem between your teeth. “But you know…”
He was looking at you with his usual nonchalance, with legs spread, beer in his hand, and completely relaxed into your couch, but his eyebrow twitched.
So you nodded, “Alright, let me put it better.” You suddenly realized you could be offending him somehow: it was not because a person with a cock was present that they would want to have anything to do with you. So you corrected yourself, “What I’d give for a good fucking.”
He nodded, seemingly understanding, and you smiled, turning to the TV again. You were happy your friendship was like this; you were used to talking about who you were attracted to and helping each other out, and you could openly comment on your thirst. It was perfect.
“Still applies.”
You turned to look at him so quickly that you almost got whiplash. Your eyes were wide, and your mouth blabbered before you could think, “What? But I helped you get it on with what’s his name a few months back.”
Your head was spinning; you were so confused. That night out had been the proverbial nail in the coffin of your secretly harbored hope. 
“Yeah, so?” His voice was monotone at best. “I’m pansexual.”
Your eyes widened comically as your cheeks flushed red. “Oh… I… I…”
“Assumed?” He raised an eyebrow again, and you were flustered but still noticed him fidgeting, with his knee jumping repeatedly.
“Well… Yeah, kind of,” you admitted, with shame forcing your eyes down. Amotti showed on the TV again, and you glanced. “You only ever talk about guys in front of me.”
You knew it before it was out of your mouth that it was a lame excuse, and he did too because he scoffed, “Yeah, well. What else do you want to talk about?”
“That’s not fair,” you complained, frowning with embarrassment burning your chest.
“Didn’t think you’d be interested in hearing my thoughts on women.”
He was looking away now, and you could hear a tinge of bitterness, and it pricked your heart. 
“Tae, that’s not true,” you insisted, reaching to put a hand on his arm so he’d look at you. Was that resentment? It hurt you deeply. “I want to hear your thoughts about everything,” you admitted with a shy smile, and his eyes softened. “And I wish we could talk about anything. I mean, look at what I just said.”
His lips twitched before he reached to catch your hand in his. He couldn’t see you sad, especially not about something like this. It could be that you had the wrong impression because he never bothered clarifying, and that was on him, too. The reason he was deeper in his feelings for you than he had ever been with anyone else was you saying things like those and treating him like that. It was the reason he had canceled his weekend plans to be with you last minute, it was why he wanted to hold your hand, and at long last, why he was done being just friends with you.
“Fair. You’re right,” he relented, turning on the couch to you more comfortably. “Sorry, that’s not why.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, and you braved through it. “Why, then? Why haven’t we ever discussed this before?”
It would have been so easy to deflect or act offended about his sexuality even being a topic of conversation, but he wasn’t doing that. He was putting the cards on the table tonight.
“I thought… You were so open-minded and welcomed me to join your friends and… I thought that if you knew, you’d treat me differently. Like just any other guy, and then we wouldn’t have become friends.”
“Tae…” You shook your head lightly, disappointment pulling the corners of your lips. He thought that of you?
“I also needed your help with that midterm project, so it was a life-or-death situation.”
He said it sheepishly, caressing your hand in his, and you chuckled, “That was so long ago.”
He nodded, lowering his eyes to your hands, and you kept a sigh from coming out. Maybe you were wrong to presume, but it was easily done when he blended in so easily with your group of girlfriends. Not because he wasn’t manly, but because he acted with grace and care and had no qualms holding your hand or showing affection when most guys wouldn’t be caught dead doing that to a friend.
You nodded. “I thought we became friends…”
“We did,” he agreed, though his voice was an octave lower.
“So can, or can I not, say I’m craving a good fucking?” You squeezed his hand with a grin on your face before bringing your beer to your lips again. You didn’t care about his sexuality, and you’d been friends for so long that you couldn’t read more into his actions, even if you wanted to delude yourself. 
You had hoped to lighten the mood and get back on topic, and you did. Sort of.
“You can always say it,” he mused, eying you with a darker look in his eyes once they locked with yours. “The question is: do you want to do something about it?”
“What can I do about it?” you asked with amusement before taking another swig.
“Fuck me.”
You would have choked if you hadn’t already swallowed. Instead, you gaped at him with eyes like a deer caught in headlights. “What?”
“I’m down if that’s what you want.”
You blinked for a second, taking in his casual demeanor as he sat on your couch, totally chill. Then you grabbed a pillow and swatted him right across the face.
He jumped in place, checking if he hadn’t spilled anything over the couch or himself. “What?!”
“What what?” you asked, pulling the pillow and throwing it away on the floor so he’d check on himself comfortably.
“What was that for?!”
“I’m being serious, and you’re messing around!”
You couldn’t help your blushing cheeks, but you could keep things casual by taking a bit of inspiration from him.
You just didn’t expect him to fidget in his spot with a pout, “I’m not messing around, I’m serious.”
You grimaced, shaking your head in disbelief, not even able to contemplate such an outlandish thought.
But he stayed put looking at you, as laid-back as always, and you sobered up a little. That was him being serious.
“You… You’d—” You swallowed, annoyed by your hesitation. “You’d fuck me?”
“Fuck yeah.”
His reply was instantaneous, and he bit the inside of his bottom lip. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Or better yet, said it like that. It wasn’t like that was all he wanted to do. It wasn’t like he was proposing a one-night stand, for you to become fuck buddies, or— What was he even suggesting?
“Well,” you spoke up before he could chastise himself internally. He could only look at you with bated breath. “Even if you’re into women, I never thought you’d… be into me.”
It could have made his head spin, but instead, he sat more upright and frowned. “Why not?”
“I’m not all fit and pretty and shit.”
You were mumbling with your eyes on the floor, and he had to keep himself from scoffing. “Are you serious? There is nothing wrong with how you look.”
“No, just—” You glanced at him and instantly knew you wouldn’t be able to explain it properly. Or, better yet, that he’d never let you have your way. So instead, you huffed and rubbed your face, “Ugh, but… you always see me bare-faced and—”
“Fuck if that matters.” He shook his head, more irritated than you thought he’d be. “You know damn well none of that matters. You look good without makeup, your curves are crazy, and you have other attributes that top it all off.”
You couldn’t help laughing and pulling your legs under you as you got more comfy. The action got you closer to him, but you didn’t mind that. You were pretty convinced he was just messing around. “Like what? My wonderful personality?”
He smiled; he liked seeing you laughing and even more that you were leaning into him, with your arms and his pressed together. “I was going to say a significant chest size, but your personality is wonderful.” You burst out laughing, hiding in his shoulder, and although he liked you being relaxed and touchy with him, he wanted you to truly hear it. “I mean that.”
“Yeah, right!” You managed to say, still laughing. “Did we drink too much?”
You were grinning and shook your nearly empty bottle before putting it on the coffee table. You sat back, still leaning into him, and saw worry on his face for the first time. “Have you? If you have, then this conversation stops here.”
“I only had one bottle…”
“Me too.”
He raised it as if to imply it was that one and took it to his lips to finish it in one go. The gesture gave you a time-off from his gaze and allowed you to try to process what you two were talking about. You knew him well enough to gather he wasn’t pranking you, but you were unsure where that landed the two of you. You couldn’t possibly reevaluate your interactions, talks, and bond under this new light. That wouldn’t be justified, and regardless, you wanted his friendship. You wanted him in your life, by your side, being a part of everything, while you made sure to be a part of his everything.
He leaned to put his empty bottle next to yours before sitting back, “Would you fuck me?”
His tone was neutral, and suddenly, your stomach lurched. Fucking wasn’t the word on the top of your head, but that wasn’t what you two were talking about.
You scoffed. “I’m not fucking blind.”
“What does that matter? I’m asking you seriously.”
His gaze had all the certainty someone as handsome and amazing as he could have. Your instinct was to cover your face before your feelings could be easily read and groan, “Ughhh.”
“What?” He sat closer, facing you, though your legs were already touching.
“I don’t know!”
“You don’t know what?”
“Ughhhh!”
“Yes or no, come on!”
“Ughhhh!”
You couldn’t see how frustrated he was becoming. Why were you groaning into your palms instead of answering his very important question?
He called your name, you groaned, and he almost tried ripping your hands away. Instead, he brushed your arms. “Speak! Come on, use words! Why don’t you just say it? Yes or no? Must be a no if you’re—”
“Shut up!!” You exploded, revealing your wide, glistening eyes and pink cheeks. He was surprised. “Why?? Because it could ruin our friendship!”
“Saying if you’d fuck me or not will not ruin our friendship, even if it’s a no.”
Your face scrunched up in a mix between a plea and worry, but your lips remained sealed. He let his head fall back with a sigh, then faced you again.
“You know what might?” He paused, waiting for you to raise your eyes to him. That was all he needed to spill it out, “Saying that I want to give you the fucking you’re craving.”
You clenched around nothing, with a burn spreading down your chest. You couldn’t even blink away from his stare, locked as you were. Instead, you swallowed, and he continued as if spurred by your silence.
“Fuck you into a slobbering mess, and right now, I can think of like five different ways of doing it.”
You blinked, and that was the extent of your capabilities. He raked his fingers through his dark hair, and your only thought was how easy that would have been — you, a drooling mess in whatever one of those five ways. You only needed one, and it didn’t even need to be that complicated. He could start with his fingers in your mouth and—
“Starting by taking that stupid bra off and licking your n—”
You squealed and reached to cover his mouth with your hand. Your cheeks burned; thinking it and saying it were two very different things!
He grabbed your wrist and pulled it away, uncovering his mouth but choosing silence. And you realized that saying something could only make it worse. You had gotten on your knees and were almost straddling him at this point. He had stayed put and, funnily enough, your deep breaths were raising and lowering your chest closer to him. He seemed to notice this too because his eyes roamed over your legs, your shorts, your white top, your chest, your neck, and finally made it to your eyes. You didn’t just watch him attentively observing you, you felt it in the tingles tracing you under his gaze, as though you needed to feel him somehow.
The tension was climbing up your spine, reminding you to move your neck just a little to release it, making your long hair fall over your chest instead. The simple motion was enough to draw his eyes and tighten your nipples, and your underwear clung further to you. 
His eyes on yours had you shuddering, and his thumb rubbing the skin on your wrist only amplified it. “Just say the word. If that’s what you want, just say the word.”
The last drop was his velvety voice. That wonderful, trust-inducing, hypnotizing, delicious voice that you’d follow to the end of the world.
You were already nodding, and you still managed to hoarsely voice, “Yes.”
His eyes read your lips, but he didn’t move, and you faltered. You were unaware of how you were leaning into him, eyes fixed on his lips, absolutely bewitched. At that moment, all your hesitation melted away as you licked your lips. You were not beyond asking for a taste when he shortened the distance between you in the blink of an eye, making you gasp.
His big, warm hand instantly reached your jaw, supporting your head gently. His lips grazing yours with the utmost softness were what convinced you to close your eyes. Screw the shock trying to freeze you and steal this opportunity from you. You pressed his lips harder, removing any hesitation from what you were doing — you wanted this.
You wanted Taehyung’s kiss. You wanted to feed your curiosity, give sense to the fantasies sprouting in your head when you were lonely and heated, and learn what that forbidden fruit tasted like. 
Truthfully, you thought your lips were the only way to feel and taste him because, at any moment, it would all end. But as he kissed you back, matching your eager curiosity, you sighed. You succumbed to grabbing his dark hair in your fists, breathing in shakily when his hands framed your waist without an ounce of reluctance. You kept fearing you were acting crazy, that he would push you back and laugh this off as being drunk. It was why you couldn’t stop pressing him closer, sighing into his mouth every time his hands moved on your curves, licking against his tongue when it dared teasing you, and nibbling his bottom lip whenever he dared to stray.
You hardly noticed when he moved on the couch because his lips never left yours. And whether he’d pull you to his lap or lay you under him, it mattered little as long as he didn’t stop. All he did was kneel on the couch in front of you, kissing you harder. His fingertips touched the skin just beneath the hem of your top, and you brought them further up your sides under the fabric. You were breathing heavily just at the feel of his wide hands exploring the expanse of your stomach, but when he reached your bra, your breath hitched. His words were still burning inside you, making you clench at the thought.
You opened your eyes and found him looking at you, puffy lips bruising yours as he sneaked his fingertips under the bra, digging gently into the supple skin. His tongue peeked, licking your lips slowly in a tease as his thumbs brushed your hard nipples over the fabric, and you groaned.
You didn’t care anymore; you were irrational. Yes, you had covered his mouth out of embarrassment before — the embarrassment of how much you wanted him to do what he was saying, and now he would. You were a train about to derail, and nothing could stop you.
His dark eyes were still locked with yours as you squirmed to unclasp your bra at your back, trying to get rid of it. As soon as you did and the fabric no longer protected you, he leaned down and licked through your white top, finding a nipple all too easily. You squirmed but pressed his head to your chest, ignoring the bra almost around your neck, looking to feel exactly what he wanted to do to you.
He, on the other hand, found the bra obstructing the view of your face contorting in pleasure annoying and got rid of it quickly by passing one of the strips down your arm. You were so immersed in gripping his hair and feeling him lick and pinch your nipples that you didn’t even notice. Only when he caught your lips again, grabbing and squeezing both breasts hungrily, did you notice there was no bra anymore, only your moan inside his mouth. He was devouring your whimpers, drinking every sigh as you enjoyed his hands on you, unable to hide it.
His lips trailed down your jaw and neck, and you squirmed, disliking what you thought was a growing distance between you two. Instead, it made you realize that he had kneeled on the floor in front of you and that his hands were squeezing your sides before dragging your top up. His open-mouth kisses between your breasts gave you goosebumps, making you eager to roll your hips against him, but it was when his hands cupped your breasts and squeezed them to his face that you moaned, melting between your legs.
“Tae,” you breathed a moan, half in wonder, half in a plea. You wanted him to have you like you never wanted anything else before.
His name on your lips wantonly like that made his dark eyes flick to yours in what you believed was a line being crossed. He pulled the top above your head, parting from your chest only the time needed for this, before finally licking and biting your nipples, squeezing and groping whatever his mouth couldn’t catch. Your moans were shooting pure desire through his veins, especially as you let your head fall back to enjoy. Your nails were holding onto his shirt by his shoulders, not trying to stop him as he traced your hips and played with the hem of your shorts, but quite simply letting his mouth work you up.
You squirmed beneath him to let him drag your clothes off and barely contained a squeal at his mouth trailing lower. You were feverish, wet, hot, absolutely derailed not just with the view but with the anticipation. This was why you almost keened when, feeling him kiss your legs down to your knees, you looked down. Your panties were still on, and he was pecking your skin, feeling the smoothness of your legs with his hands before stopping. His eyes fixed on yours, glistening with just as much desire, but then his eyebrows twitched.
You were already exposed, winded, flushed, dazed, and there was only one thing you wanted. “Are you going to eat me?”
“If you let me.”
“Please,” you breathed, raising your knees to your chest in an offering.
The corners of his mouth curved as though you had promised him candy, and he didn’t hesitate to lean in. His nose rubbed at your clothed center, and just him breathing deeply before nuzzling the skin around your panties made you hold in a shaky sigh. You would fall apart so easily if he kept teasing you like that. Your legs were trembling, you could barely take in enough oxygen, and then he pressed his lips to you. A quiet groan stayed inside your chest as though the very sound could distract you from his kiss. It was both breathtaking and short of a tease to feel him pressing, grazing his lips across your covered slit, nuzzling your core to maddening effects. You couldn’t help your squirm or your hand shooting to his head with your request, and he obliged.
As though he was done with waiting, the same as you, he pulled the fabric aside and dove in. His groan was subtle, covering you with goosebumps right before you lost all sense and fell back. You didn’t know if it was the anticipation, the fantasy becoming reality, or the sheer hunger, but it floored you. His hands pressed your legs harder, almost as if he couldn’t let you get away, and he groaned. You felt it deep inside you, right as his tongue collected your slick on his way to your clit. He licked over it in waves, driving you to squeeze your eyes shut, barely afloat. You bucked your hips to increase the friction, and he pressed his face harder, letting you feel the tip of his nose, tongue, and lips in open-mouthed kisses. 
But whenever you thought the searing burn would snap your coil and you would peak, he drew back. You didn’t realize your push and pull, lulling yourself to his rhythm, until a louder whimper of yours drew him to cup your ass and raise you to his mouth. He latched on, keeping a steel rhythm on your clit that was impossible to deny, regardless of how much you tried to writhe and keen. Your core burned with how tense you were, a sensation so consuming that you stopped breathing. You wanted the moment it sparked and covered you ablaze, and it did.
You melted from that point on, trembling and moaning so hard that you lost touch as you came. Taehyung’s mouth was latched to your core, lavishly mouthing you as you wiggled and squirmed, grabbing onto his hair so crudely, it probably hurt him. Yet he groaned, sucked and breathed you in, and you wanted it even harder. Your peak dissolved despite your wishes, and although you had to pull him away so he wouldn’t hurt you, the vision that met you was shattering.
The sight of him covered in your cum was like nothing you had imagined, quite simply because it was real. He was really kneeling between your legs, kissing your inner thighs, with his hair tucked in your grasp. Your legs were still trembling as you panted, and you wanted only to relax into the pillows with your much-sought release. Yet in an instant, you realized that was not what you wanted after all.
You pulled him to you as you lowered your legs to give him space, wrapping them around his waist. He let you, almost caught off balance, but you left no margin for errors. You grabbed onto his shirt for good measure and crashed his mouth to yours, kissing him with as much hunger as you could muster in your dazed, satisfied haze. You didn’t want to leave it there, and if licking your cum out of his mouth didn’t convey this, then you didn’t know what did.
Taehyung kissed you back, smiling almost tenderly before scrunching up his nose at your tongue tickling him. Yet, despite your glued cores, he wasn’t trying anything else. He wasn’t pushing or exploring you anymore, and you would have cowered if it wasn’t for the bulge pressed to you.
You rolled over him, getting him to sit on the couch before pulling away to kneel between his legs. No way he could eat you like that if he didn’t like it or was turned on, and you weren’t over your curiosity. You wouldn’t stop until you had hit all stops.
“I always wondered,” you started, reaching your hands inside his shirt so you could scratch down his chest. “What it would be like for you to touch me.” You licked your lips as he smiled. “To touch you,” you mused, reaching his flat stomach. “For you to want me.” Your hands cupped the bulge in his pants, and you shuddered at the harness twitching back. “Like I want you.”
You were brimming with desire and knew he was, too, when he reached to grab your hair and crash your mouths together. To your surprise, he didn’t pull or push you in one direction or the other; it was as though he simply wanted to kiss you. If anything, he only hardened under your hand.
You couldn’t think about what that meant, only that you wanted to continue and fulfill all your dreams tonight. You unbuckled his belt and opened his pants, and he helped you get them and the boxers off. Your chin almost fell in awe at the imposing cock before you, so hard and stiff it was pointing at you. So close to your face, it could only have been an invitation.
You touched it tentatively, feeling the soft, warm skin covering lengthy veins from base to top. Its puffy pink tip was the perfect size for you to lick, and you did. There was usually an order to these things, but not tonight. He looked pretty and hungry, and you wanted to eat him too.
Your tongue only took a taste before you sank your mouth on him. There was no way you could take him whole, as he was already poking the back of your throat, but it didn’t matter. You were there for the experience, for his taste, for that fucked out look on his face as he closed his eyes and let his jaw slack. Taehyung was fucking gorgeous, like the peak of human perfection, and it turned out it was even better when his cock was stuffing your mouth.
You couldn’t stop yourself. Your plans escaped your mind; all that mattered was bobbing your head, lapping your tongue, sucking him, and doing all that with your eyes fixed on his expression. It was the sweetest part of all — he liked it. He was breathing heavily, biting his bottom lip, blushing, and finally fluttering his eyes open. They were like candy; all his strength and power surrendered to your mouth, and you drooled. You finally closed your eyes and let your head fall as deep as you could take him, just to keep him there while you braced yourself for what you wanted.
You pulled away, letting him breathe a groan before facing him. “Said you’d fuck me.”
He blinked, almost stupefied, and you got up from your knees. You moved swiftly to the hallway to search his jacket for what you were looking for, and when you turned around, you almost stumbled. 
Physical: 100 was still on the TV with the contestants showing off their physique, and yet they didn’t even come close to that view. Taehyung was tall, towering over your entire living room as he stood there, naked, hard, with dark, glistening eyes set on you. Not even his disheveled hair or the pants at the bottom of his feet made him look any less heavenly. That view was perfect, and you didn’t allow yourself to think too much about it.
Instead, you waved the condom you had just found, and he nodded, getting rid of the clothes by his ankles in the time it took you to reach him. The moment your hands were cupping his cheeks, he was already pulling you by the waist, eager to hold you and kiss you. He didn't hesitate to feel your curves, reaching your ass to pull you to him, and you molded yourself to him, arching your back into him.
You were dizzy with his attention, with his big hand squeezing your ass while the other gripped your hair to keep you in his kiss. But when he meant to sit down, you pulled him to stay put. You grinned, giving him the condom, then got on the couch on all fours.
You didn't see his surprise, only felt a soothing hand on your ass down your leg. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, please,” you sighed.
It wasn't much of a logical thought, but the idea was to have him in as many positions as you had fantasized. You doubted you'd get far — as soon as he was inside you, all ideas would evaporate — but doggy was good to start. You wanted him raw and deep, reaching places inside you no one could. Of course, you couldn’t have him raw, but if he fucked you without holding back, you'd already consider that a win.
Taehyung got on one knee on the couch behind you after covering himself and eyed you. You were vulnerable like that, with your unblemished back arching and long hair falling over your shoulders. He’d like you in any position, but he couldn’t help pursing his lips. He touched your soft skin again, and you wiggled your ass for him, and although he bit it playfully just to make you jump and chuckle, he still second-guessed it.
It felt impersonal. In all of his dreams of you, he rarely pictured being with you like this without at least a mirror so he could see you, so you two could communicate. He wanted to be with you, to feel and watch you writhe in pleasure, in the ways he could make you feel, not to turn your face away so he could use you. If anything, your face was what made it special.
You wiggled your ass again with an impatient sigh, and this time you pleaded, “Please, Tae.”
You looked over your shoulder and saw his expression softening before he got behind you. The feel of his cock brushing your folds had you shaking, but it was his nails scratching down your spine that did it. You fell back on him, unwilling to wait for him, and he let you, groaning. He helped your hips as you wiggled and searched to get him deeper, and as you did, you both sighed.
You could feel him stretching you despite your previous orgasm, and you smiled. In another circumstance, you’d just enjoy the show without thinking much of it, but just the fact that it was Taehyung turned you on again. And when he started moving, he delivered.
It wasn’t just his hips smacking yours, the crown of his cock teasing your cervix and making you groan and curl your nails on the couch armrest. It was the way he held your waist, leaned over you to peck over your spine, and responded to every reaction of yours. You mewled and tried fucking into him? He fucked you harder, adjusting the angle so you’d keen mindlessly. You moaned and hid in the pillows, feeling so tense you didn’t know your name? He reeled back, slowing down his thrusts to let you breathe. You whimpered and called his name? He was instantly all over you, kissing your neck near your ear, asking if you were okay without ever stopping giving you what you wanted.
You looked over your shoulder, meeting his eyes as he kissed your skin there, and you thought that was impossible. You knew Taehyung was attentive, but that bordered on perfection, and you didn't know how to deal with that.
“Harder,” you whispered, glistening eyes boring into his.
“Are you sure?”
You grinned. “Said you’d leave me a slobbering mess.”
“You sure look like it,” he teased, and you laughed. You knew you were drooling onto the couch, but you also knew he was holding back.
“Give everything to me.” You sighed, and your lightness earned you a nod.
The second he pulled away, you wondered if you knew what you asked for, and the second he showed you, you knew you did. He grabbed your hair in a fist to keep your back arched, and your mind melted. The way he rutted into you, holding your waist so you’d stay in position to take every thrust, only made you whimper and moan louder. He felt so good it was unbearable; how did he reach deeper and harder when you thought you were at your limit? His groans, his scent, his nails piercing your skin to hold you in place; you could barely function in the frenzy.
You knew you were tightening because his focus was faltering, but when he stopped, staying buried deep inside you, you were worried. 
“Tae?” you asked, trying to swallow the dizziness and figure out why that stairway to heaven had suddenly halted.
“I can’t—” His voice was a whisper as he tried regaining his breath. “I’ll cum.”
Your eyebrows jumped, and you almost smiled, but you bit your lip to keep it in. “How’s that?”
He was still squishing your flesh in his hands, but he took one hand to brush his sweaty hair out of his eyes, “You’re so tight and warm and—” You clenched involuntarily, and he grabbed and squeezed your ass again. “You fucking tease.”
You stifled a laugh and could swear he’d spank you, but instead, he leaned over you and bit your shoulder. You finally laughed. “Let me ride you.”
He hummed, and instead of answering, he let you take the brunt of his weight as he held your hips. You groaned with the effort, still shuddering at his lips tracing your cheeks to your neck, but then you moaned lavishly. He was pressing himself slowly to you, reaching inside you and twitching, and you thought you’d be too desensitized, but it was the opposite. Your core hugged him, sucking him in with the subtle rolls of your hips, and he groaned into your ear, making you flutter even harder. It was as though he couldn’t help himself, ensuing that small push and pull, enough to get you both crazy.
But you insisted, “Tae.”
And he was off of you in a second. He sat down and helped you turn around and straddle him. You were flushed and covered in sweat, but he didn’t seem to mind. You were so wet you were sliding, and he guided your hips as you grabbed his cock. Just looking at him beneath you, you knew it would feel amazing, but something about staring into his eyes as you sank on him rewired your priorities. Instead of looking to give a show or tease him, you let your chin drop the same as his and reached to hold his head in place. Your nails grazed his skin as you gripped his hair by the back of the nape and rolled your lips to feel him inside you as deeply as possible. His eyebrows knitted as he looked down, and you burned under his gaze, wanting nothing more than for him to feel as good as you did. And by the way that his fingers were digging into your hips and his droopy eyes came back to yours, you knew he did. You knew that every jerk of your hips stole his breath, too, squeezed his tip in your smooth walls, and ground on him in a way that made you hover even though you were sinking.
Your fingers curled around his hair. “I can’t hold— I’ll come—”
If he was surprised at how easily you fell apart, he didn’t let on. You searched for his kiss right before your orgasm swept you away, and he held you, kissing you and receiving your deep moans in his mouth as though it were praise.
You were dizzy when you came down and held onto his shoulders as he grabbed you to lay over you on the couch. A euphoric giggle almost burst out as he pecked and nuzzled every inch of your face — you could swear you were with Taehyung, but that wasn’t—
“Can I finish?” he whispered against your mouth, and you opened your eyes.
Taehyung was really holding you in his arms, balls deep inside you, smiling with a hint of amusement.
You nodded, and he hummed. “Sure you had your fill?”
You shuddered, aware of the state of things. No.
You’d never have a proper fill because you didn’t want it to end. But as reality would have it, Taehyung was just fucking you. Just like you asked.
So you nodded and kissed him, refusing to let those feelings surface right now. You started, you’d finish. The final destination was just ahead; you had to know what he felt like when he came deep inside you.
He kissed you back and restarted the sweet movement of his hips, and you sighed. He held your legs high so you could wrap them around him and grabbed onto your hair to keep your chin up. You could barely breathe without a moan, and looking into his eyes while he fucked you made it all the harder. His lips were parted for soft sighs, and you squirmed under him, adjusting your hips. It was enough for him to falter and let you hide in his chest. You breathed him in, biting down on the soft flesh out of sheer frustration. He felt so good you could lose yourself again, but that wouldn’t happen. He wasn’t yours.
Still, his love felt like heaven. So when he pulled your head up again to face him, you did. You moaned your pleasure so he’d know how amazing he felt, scratched him closer, and looked into his eyes just like he wanted. In an instant, he groaned, and his hips faltered. He crashed into you, kissing you between stifled moans before he nuzzled your neck and stilled.
You hugged him to you with your eyes closed, taking deep breaths. He was breathing down your neck, recovering, and you matched him, feeling deeply every time your nose picked up a mix of his cologne with the sex scent still in the air. For as long as that lasted, you were free of thoughts and worries.
But then he got up, pulling out of you to get rid of the condom. And although he laid back down next to you, pulling you into his arms with a sweet smile, the spell had been broken. 
You started trembling, and he noticed. He took your fingertips to his lips to kiss them, ready to ask you cheekily if he had given you more than you bargained for when you sniffled.
His heart fell through; he looked at you, and you tried to hide in his chest.
He brushed your hair behind your ear. “Hey.”
You couldn’t face him; your eyes stayed shut so you wouldn’t cry.
“What’s wrong?”
His voice was low and laced with worry, and your heart hurt even more. You didn’t want him to worry; he was just doing what he said he would. He just had no idea how you felt.
You shouldn’t have done this. You were terrified to lose him. Nothing was worth that.
“I don’t want this to ruin our friendship,” you managed to say before a sob shook you. “You’re my best friend.”
Taehyung almost smiled; if he had only heard those words, he would have promised you that nothing was lost. That you two together never spelled just friends in his mind, and that he wanted so much more than that. 
But he could feel you and see you: the lines on your face that spelled the unshed tears, the way you were trembling in his arms, and your refusal to face him.
His heart sank. A storm of questions raged inside his mind — was it him, was it the sex, did he hurt you, was it not what you expected, did you never want this to happen, did you regret it — but he asked none of it. The more you tried to stay put and not cry, the sadder and more certain he became that you were distressed. That you wanted him just as a friend and that nothing he had done had convinced you otherwise.
You opened your tearful eyes. “I don’t want things to change.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it, a lopsided smile showing instead. He couldn’t help eying your lips and regret with his whole heart not having stolen one last kiss to remember you by, to settle his heart, but there was nothing to do about it. Instead, he looked up at your teary gaze and brushed your cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”
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[Part 2]
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