#thank u mcigglytuffmuffin. it's exactly as you said

[archietransdrews]

an inexhaustive list of riverdale names that are too Touched to be real, wherein alliteration draws attention to the fact that they were intentionally designed rather than earnestly given: archie and artie andrews, jughead and jellybean jones, kevin keller, toni topaz, felix featherhead, dilton doiley, moose (later marmaduke) mason, waldo weatherbee, geraldine grundy, lerman logan (<3), penny peabody, chuck clayton, britta beach, munroe 'mad dog' moore, edgar and evelyn evernever, fangs fogarty, agent arthur adams, holden honey, percival pickens, darla dickinson, ben button, terrence and tabitha tate...

show that won't let you forget it's a show! comic that won't let you forget it's a comic!

ok i do just kind of have to archive this analysis of the 'poem' made out of the names of dolores' classmates in lolita on this blog bc like. riverdalecore! mcfate, artistic artifice, room numbers and street signs and town names that signal the otherwise invisible touch of an author's hand because they correspond too perfectly to already-existing texts to be random!!!