#tells me that i shouldn't complain bc my grades are not bad

[frogsare-friends]

no because being the youngest child is actually crazy. i'm studying for finals that are 20% of my grade so if i fail these it determines what classes i can take next year which is my junior year and colleges mainly look at your junior year so actually these tests will effect the rest of my life just a teeny bit but just a teeny bit is still too much. but also i have to go shopping with my step dad because when my mom says she wants something for christmas i have to be the one to take a picture and put it on a list and send the link to him and mentally remember everything i couldn't get a picture of so he can get it then i have to take it upstairs and wrap it all. and i don't mind doing that but it's a stressful time of year (bc of finals) but i'm not allowed to complain because all of my siblings are graduated and have jobs and one of them is in nursing school so really my life is awesome bc they got through it except one was high his entire high school career, one took regular classes, and one was nearly failing half of her classes and none of them were in all ap or honors classes with a b average because they were able to be "c's get degrees" kids but i'm not. and when i get home from school i have to do the dishes and watch the dogs for at least an hour but usually two before i can go upstairs and get stuff other than my homework done (including doing my own laundry which none of my siblings had to do until they were 17 at the youngest which is crazy) meanwhile if i ask my 18yo sister to load/unload the dishwasher she starts talking about how that's my responsibility and how i'm lazy meanwhile i ask her to clean our SHARED bathroom for a week and she doesn't do it but i get yelled at and forced to clean it and i'm told it my fault bc "how can i just let it be dirty if she's not cleaning it you should do it i saw you sit on your phone on the couch for 2 hours" which was my 2 hours of free time that whole week but sure. my brother that's 10 years older than me calls me fat and talks badly about what i eat and when but my mom just says "he thinks he's helping you" and i get that and sorry if this makes me sound terrible but it is not my fault that he has a borderline eating disorder and he should get help for it but that help is not telling me what i should and shouldn't eat to be skinny. my other brother is chill he's just trying to become a nurse but istg i wanna rip my hair out. they're allowed to be bad or mediocre or anything but i always have to be great and then my mom says that she doesn't expect me to be perfect so i shouldn't put so much pressure on myself but just because it's not perfect doesn't mean it isn't hard to be great all the time. anyways, sorry for the rant if you stuck around this long lol

[genderfluidfuckernamedfox]

He's not on here so fuck it.

There are about 4 people in this world that I would do anything for. So imagine my shock when one of them stabs me in the back. He basically attacked who I am as a person and accused me of several things that I would just NEVER do to anyone. I've been grieving the death of our friendship and at this point I keep bouncing from anger to depression. I know that he's projecting his insecurities onto me and I shouldn't take it seriously but my heart is still broken because of this situation.

A little back story: My friend(who I've known since 8th grade) had just dropped out of college to take a semester off and figure out what he wants to do with his life.(good for him tbh, I hope he finds something he's happy with) I've been sick since school started but he still wanted to hang out with me and I said I would help him move his stuff from his dorm into his new place.(which is his grandma's house, he lives with her) So we drives 2 hours to his college, meet his friends and have a nice time, load up all of his stuff and then head on back home. It was a fun trip and I loved seeing his friends. Now every year or so we would talk about how we would be a good couple. He tells me that he wants to be in a poly relationship with me and another friend.(this friend currently has a gf he's living with) So my friend had the full intention to "homewreck", as he put it, this dude and date him along side me. I was like alright, I was cool with it bc we'd all been friends for a really long time. I however do not wanna date 2 dudes(I like chicks way more). I think one of the main reasons he wanted to date both me and our friend was because he also wanted to eventually rent a place with both of us. Which again I wouldn't mind doing in the future but I currently have a three year old brother and a seven year old sister that I help take care of and I don't plan on leaving them until my little bro is in school.

So dating... I really like relationships, but they don't like me. I'm very excited that he's giving me any type of romantic attention. However I'm also in beauty school and have 8am classes everyday so hanging out with him every night for a little over a week is getting exhausting; but I care about him so I'm going to make time for him if he really wants to see me. One day we hang out with another friend of ours that I haven't seen since highschool. Jasper is his name, we go over to jasper's house to play some board games and just chill out, he's also got like 5 dogs so we eventually go on a night walk with one of the pups. I'm so damn tired at this point, it's the end of the week and I've currently been sick for 2 weeks. I notice that my friend seems a little off but hell, I'M a little off so I don't pay much attention to him (which is very unlike me, I'm usually the one that makes sure everyone feels included) if he really feels excluded he would just assert himself into the situation right? We've all been friends since highschool so it shouldn't be a problem right? Wrong. I finally get a day with just myself and my family and he sends me this text

So after being up my ass for an entire week he's going to say all of this shit about me and act like I've been an ass this whole time we were hanging out.

He said he wanted to date me and then broke up with me before we even dated.

He thinks I'm copying him being trans (what the actual fuck, how self centered do you have to be to think that my identity has anything to do with you)

He's accusing me of making fun of him for cosplaying, singing, and acting which 1. I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER DO TO ANYONE and 2. Are all things that I do as a hobby. I've literally only ever tried to encourage him with all of these things and he's going to blatantly lie to me through text about things that I did??? What the actual fuck.

I've never acted like I hate anyone, and if I have I can garentee you that it was meant as a joke.

He says that I'm not motivated to grow up but I'm literally furthering my career in a field that I'm passionate in and loving myself through all of the hardships that I face, that's mature as fuck.

He complains that he hates the county that we live in and I've agreed with him that it's kinda a bad place but I've got family and shit to do here so I don't hate it.

Kaliym is the person he was planning on "homewrecking" and me and kaliyms friendships is very different from mine and his. I joke that I hate kaliym to his face and he's like "I love you too" bc he knows I dont mean it. But this dude can come back in my life for a week after beening gone for over a year and think that he knows me.

Honestly I'm glad this happened because this is what a toxic friendship looks like and it needed to end.

My parting words for this post and specifically for him are as follows.

Fuck you.