#teagan: oh you're asking if I'm married?

[cozmic-ash]

so I played through Origins again and there's this middle-aged man 🫣

Amrynn the Hero of Ferelden will smooch him, so help me God

why did they do him so fucking dirty in Trespasser anyway lol 😭 I'm half convinced he was originally meant to be an entirely different character and then last minute they were like, 'hey let's make him Teagan instead' but didn't change anything about his design. But it IS really funny when your Inquisitor rides up to the exalted council and looks up at him and he's just mean mugging the FUCK out of you

[paranormal-potatoes]

Teagan: why are you helping me?

Cole: Because my cousin asked me to and I love Maria dearly

Teagan: so who suggested trying to marry me.

Cole: Teague.

Teagan: fucker

Cole: If you're concerned I'll catch feelings, I can guarantee that won't be happening.

Cole: 1, I'm gay. 2, you aren't my type. 3, and most importantly, my fiancé would have some issues with it.

Teagan: and your fiancé doesn't have any issues with faking an engagement?

Cole: Oh no, he does. But he's been here before and agrees this place is a hellhole.

Teagan: and you haven't even had dinner here yet

Cole: Why does that matter?

Teagan: because Orilon food is usually sweet. nothing spicy

Cole, who grew up eating food spicy enough to make grown adults cry: you're joking

Teagan: no

Cole: oh my god

Cole: what the fuck is wrong with this place

Teagan: a lot

Teagan, looking at their food after being dragged back to Orilon: *sigh*

Meallán: are you okay?

Teagan: I want spicy food.

Teagan: I want my food to make me cry.

Teagan: I want to regret life.