#teagan: oh you're asking if I'm married?

[cozmic-ash]

so I played through Origins again and there's this middle-aged man 🫣

Amrynn the Hero of Ferelden will smooch him, so help me God

why did they do him so fucking dirty in Trespasser anyway lol 😭 I'm half convinced he was originally meant to be an entirely different character and then last minute they were like, 'hey let's make him Teagan instead' but didn't change anything about his design. But it IS really funny when your Inquisitor rides up to the exalted council and looks up at him and he's just mean mugging the FUCK out of you

[callmeanidiot1]

The elevator doors slid open.

Seventh floor.

The group of eight split into teams. Sprout and Cosmo hurried into the other room to extract ichor from the machines, while Goob served as a distraction, keeping the twisted creatures occupied alongside Pebble, Poppy, and Tisha. His sister, Scraps, worked on a separate machine, fingers quick and steady.

Gigi, as always, was scavenging for anything shiny to add to her collection. That left Roger, Teagan, and Toodles.

"Teagan," Roger greeted coolly as he worked on extracting ichor.

"Roger," Teagan replied, matching his tone as she focused on the second machine in the room.

"And Toodles!" Their daughter chimed in, attempting to lighten the mood. She didn’t understand why her parents were acting so cold toward each other.

Toodles, ever chatty, filled the silence with stories—her day at school, random thoughts, anything to distract from the thick tension in the air. The eightball bounced lightly as she spoke, waiting for her father to finish his work.

"You're taking forever," Teagan finally muttered, cutting Toodles off mid-ramble.

"Then why don’t you wait at the elevator, Teagan?" Roger shot back, still extracting the ichor.

"Oh, so you can have more time with Toodles? I’m still her mother."

"Yes, her mother who left the family, OUR family to be with some—" Roger exhaled sharply, forcing himself to stop. He refused to argue, not in front of Toodles. She might start thinking it was her fault.

Silence settled over them, broken only by the slow drip of ichor and the soft ding of the elevator when the process was complete.

"C’mon, Toodles, let’s go." Roger took her hand, leading her to the elevator.

The team regrouped inside, and Dandy was already peddling his wares: a medkit, a box of chocolates, and a jumper cable.

Roger purchased the jumper cable—maybe if he were faster, it would keep Teagan from getting too angry later.

"Dad, can I buy something?"

"Go ahead, Toodles."

The eightball smiled and bought the chocolate. She deserved it. Anything to help her through the mess of her parents’ divorce. Though Roger doubted a bar of chocolate would be enough.

The shop closed, the elevator opened. The cycle repeated.

Until the tenth floor.

Everything went wrong.

They were mid-extraction when Goob died—torn apart by Tisha. Cosmo couldn’t heal him. Sprout couldn’t either. Scraps did what she could, distracting the twisted.

Tisha had killed her brother. She had to shake off the horror, had to keep moving. If she didn’t, the others would die too.

The elevator dinged.

They all ran.

Toodles fell behind.

Teagan intercepted Pebble’s line of sight, giving Toodles the chance to reach the elevator—but it cost her everything.

She didn’t make it in time.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!" Toodles sobbed into her father’s arms.

"No, no, Toodles, it's not your fault."

"But it is!"

"No, it’s not."

"If I didn’t… if I—"

"Shhh. It’s okay. We’re going to be fine. I’m still here, aren’t I?" Roger whispered. "Your mother saved you because she loved you. She wouldn’t want you crying over that."

Toodles clung to him as he wiped her tears.

"C’mon, we still have machines to extract. Stay close to me, alright?"

The elevator doors opened again.

The same cycle continued.

Sprout and Gigi were gone by the twelth floor.

By floor fourteen, Toodles finally asked the question that had been weighing on her.

"Why did you and Mom get a divorce? Was it because of me?"

Roger’s hands stilled. "No, sweetheart. It was never your fault. What made you think that?"

"You always argued… and it was always about me. Or how slow you are when extracting."

Roger sighed, guilt washing over him. "Oh, Toodles… I’m sorry you had to hear all that. But it was never about you. We just… fell out of love."

"But you two looked so happy."

"We were," he admitted. "But people change. And sometimes, you realize you don’t love the person you married anymore."

Toodles didn’t understand.

How could someone stop loving the person they married? That wasn’t how it worked in the storybooks her father read to her before bed.

She still felt it was her fault. Just like how her mother died—because she was too slow.

Roger noticed her expression.

"Hey," he said softly. "How about after this, we get some ice cream? Anything you want."

Toodles nodded.

He finally finished extracting the machine. The elevator dinged.

"C’mon, let’s—"

A twisted.

It was Teagan. But not his wife. Not anymore.

She saw them.

She ran for Toodles.

Roger didn’t hesitate. He threw himself in the way, taking the hit.

Cosmo grabbed Toodles and bolted.

"DAD! WAIT! Dad’s still out there!" Toodles screamed, struggling in Cosmo’s grip.

Then—

A crunch.

Silence.

The elevator doors closed.

"Dad…" The word barely left her lips before she started pounding on the doors, sobbing.

He was gone.

Her parents were gone.

Cosmo and Scraps were all that was left.

Scraps pulled her into a hug. Cosmo murmured quiet reassurances.

But nothing could comfort a girl who had just lost everything. 

_

I'm probably going to make a prequel if I find teagan and toodles again in an rp run (rp runs are quite rare for me to see)

[paranormal-potatoes]

Teagan: why are you helping me?

Cole: Because my cousin asked me to and I love Maria dearly

Teagan: so who suggested trying to marry me.

Cole: Teague.

Teagan: fucker

Cole: If you're concerned I'll catch feelings, I can guarantee that won't be happening.

Cole: 1, I'm gay. 2, you aren't my type. 3, and most importantly, my fiancé would have some issues with it.

Teagan: and your fiancé doesn't have any issues with faking an engagement?

Cole: Oh no, he does. But he's been here before and agrees this place is a hellhole.

Teagan: and you haven't even had dinner here yet

Cole: Why does that matter?

Teagan: because Orilon food is usually sweet. nothing spicy

Cole, who grew up eating food spicy enough to make grown adults cry: you're joking

Teagan: no

Cole: oh my god

Cole: what the fuck is wrong with this place

Teagan: a lot

Teagan, looking at their food after being dragged back to Orilon: *sigh*

Meallán: are you okay?

Teagan: I want spicy food.

Teagan: I want my food to make me cry.

Teagan: I want to regret life.