#tbqh (to be quite honest) I don't know if parrot woudl ever yell at wifies no matter what. guy came from Lying and Betrayal Server he's

[bluejackals]

ken beats parrot up 1/? (he doesn't actually beat parrot up in this part sorry)

summary: based on @saiintofdiirt's little thing where parrot finds out about clonefies, a continuation of after parrot makes up with wifies. this is just writing practice tbh

word count: 872 I think

Ken and Wato have just taken their first bites of their chicken quesadillas (sue them, they’re still pissed) when Ken’s comm pings. 

[Wifies]: it went well 

[Wifies]: I’m going to stay with him

Ken heaves a sigh. Wifies is too kind. 

Next to her, Wato shakes their head. “I knew this was going to happen, but I wish he’d be a little less nice.” 

“I agree,” Ken mutters. But he has more important things to do than continue to fantasize about tearing out Parrot’s throat, so he picks up his comm.

[_Kenadian_]: okay

[_Kenadian_]: what are you doing now?

[Wifies]: Eating

[_Kenadian_]: alone?

[Wifies]: no

[Wifies]: Parrot’s here

[Wifies]: actually he just left briefly he said he had to do something for a few minutes 

Ken’s comm pings again, but it’s not a message from Wifies. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ken says. Parrot has just messaged him. Seriously? He left Wifies to send Ken a message? 

“I don’t think he ever stops talking,” Wato says, taking a giant bite out of their quesadilla. 

[ParrotX2]: Hey

[ParrotX2]: I know you’re still mad at me, so meet me at the final chunkban prison on Unstable tomorrow sometime between 8 am and noon

“The hell does that mean?” Ken’s anger is not chased away by their confusion. In fact, it just makes them angrier. 

[ParrotX2]: You wanted to kill me, right?

Oh. Oh. Ken feels adrenaline building in his veins. Parrot, despicable or not, probably isn’t lying. He knows if he lies, Ken will just tell Wifies, and where would that leave him?

Wato finishes off their quesadilla. “Have fun. Give him hell from me.” 

“I will.” 

Another ping. 

[ParrotX2]: Don’t tell Wifies. I assume you wouldn’t but just in case

“Bastard,” Ken says. 

–

The next morning finds Ken decked out in full enchanted netherite, making her way to front of the former prison’s entrance. She doesn’t know any specifics about Parrot’s…arrangement and she’s not taking any chances. Her inventory is chock-full with shulkers—deadly things, potions, supplies. 

Wifies won’t be here. He messaged Ken earlier, saying something about a new arg someone had told him to check out. The timing is incredibly convenient, but Ken isn’t complaining. They know Wifies wouldn’t exactly want this. Wifies might not even understand why Ken wants this. 

Parrot is already there, also in full netherite, but hands empty. There’s a spot on his left wing where the feathers have clearly been worried at and plucked. It makes Ken feel a bit happier. 

“What do you want?” Ken asks. “You were a bit…vague yesterday.” 

“I know you wanted to kill me the other day,” Parrot says. His eyes are clear, sharp blue. A stark contrast to how troubled they were. “I’m giving you a chance to.”

“Why?”

“Wifies is too nice. I’m not…a masochist, but I know I messed up bad and you have some, like, pent-up emotions, right?” 

Oh, what Ken would give to get a look inside Parrot’s brain, no matter how annoying he can be. What the hell goes on in there? Nobody normal says that kind of thing. Though wanting “normal” from a former Lifesteal member might be too high of an expectation. 

“This will be the only time I agree with you. Wifies is too nice, and I do have ‘pent-up emotions.’ I’ll have you know—I don’t usually want to hurt people. Wifies will back me up. But you just piss me off so bad I have to make an exception.” 

Parrot nods, like this is expected. It grates on Ken, how calm he can appear when he’s not having an emotional hurricane. “Okay. I believe you. I’m not gonna let you permakill me on this server.” 

“Then what do you mean by kill?” Ken snaps. 

“Simple.” A totem materializes in Parrot’s hand. “You get to pop this.” 

This is definitely not sane or normal behavior. This is decidedly Lifesteal behavior. Ken is fine with that. “Right here, right now, out in the open?”

“Obv—no,” Parrot replies. “Follow me.” 

He’s off before Ken can complainabout how much he’s controlling the situation, so Ken has no choice but to follow. They fly into a cave system, then to the entrance to a room inside it, closed off with an iron door. Parrot opens the door and puts a hand to the pillow of the white bed in the corner.

Ken takes a look around the room. It’s simple—just blackstone and deepslate and some obsidian, lit with some torches. He supposes the dark blocks are to make concealing any leftover…mess easier. 

Parrot takes off his helmet, leaving the rest of his armor on. “Oh, one last thing. I said you could pop the totem, but if you try to cut my wings off as part of that, this offer is done and I’ll kill you.” 

 “What the heck?” Ken actually does forget to be angry this time. “What—that’s—what the hell?”

Parrot raises an eyebrow. 

“I mean, why would you think I would even think of that?” Ken wants to rip out all of her hair. “That’s cruel.” 

“Just in case,” Parrot says. “That’s all.” 

The rest of his armor disappears, leaving just him in his bomber jacket, with nothing but his totem. “Go for it.”