#tbh its closer to 5 hours. what the fuck. i blinked. and. ?

[vzajemnik]

special interest status: i just lost 4 hours of my day that im never gonna get back and my head hurts so much i will jump off a window

[golbrocklovely]

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter four

A/N: hey yall! life update: i have a job now! it’s part time, thank god, and so far i don’t completely hate it, which is good. hopefully it won’t get too hectic, but we shall see. anyway, i hope you are liking this series so far. let me know what you think about it. also lmk if you want to be added to the taglist. hope you enjoy this chapter. alrighty, i’ll see yall later :)

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood ,  @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, being hunted??, mentions of killing/murder

word count: 1693

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My apartment had been trashed, everything torn up and thrown all over the place. Sam stayed with me for two hours, scoping it out and making sure everything was back in its place.

Nothing of mines was taken. It just looked like someone broke in to make a mess and leave.

Sam believed it was vamp. I wasn’t sure what to think.

After barely getting any sleep, I wasn’t too excited to go to work. But at least I would be surrounded by people and not by myself, left alone to think of what could have broken in.

I filled Ronnie in on some of my crazy adventures from the past two-ish days.

“How is it you have all the fun on your days off?” Ronnie whined, cleaning a glass.

I scoffed. “I highly doubt getting almost killed by a vampire, and then having one break into my place ‘fun’, Ronnie.”

“At least it’s more interesting than me laying around and watching Real Housewives.” She joked. “So, all of these guys work at Trapp Haus and that’s how you met them?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Got my own connection which is how I was able to skip the line that usually wraps around the whole block.”

“I swear I’ve never heard of any of them before. Are they all bartenders or something?” She asked, starting a new order.

“Um, I think some of them are.” I lied. “One or two might work in the business side of the place, since they’re vamps.”

“I’ll have to go there next human night. Colby sounds pretty hot.” Ronnie smirked.

“I mean he is, but he’s kinda a dick.” I huffed.

“Well, all the hot ones are. Besides, he does have a soft side: he did save you.”

“I guess so…”

The night moved slowly, not too many patrons on a Sunday-Monday evening. I was so happy to finally have my break, being able to step outside and get some fresh air.

I took a deep breath as I looked up into the night sky.

What the fuck had my life turn into?

I shook my head, leaning my back against the brick wall of the bar. I stared into the parking lot, my eyes fixating on the dark. Through the trees that surrounded the lot, I saw the outline of a man.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see if I was seeing things. The figured disappeared as I blinked. I relaxed a little, annoyed at my own paranoia.

Maybe I am going crazy…

I stood up and went to walk back in. As I went to open the door, I heard a low growl come from behind me.

The hair on the back of my neck shot up. I could feel a presence behind me. I didn’t want to turn around, but I knew I had to. I twisted around slowly, my heartbeat speeding up faster and faster.

Nothing was behind me.

I looked around, my anxiety still at its peak. I knew I heard something; but nothing, no one, was there.

I spun back around. A man stood in front of the door. All I could see of him was his glowing red eyes and shiny fangs. He jumped forward with his hands reaching for my neck. A scream ripped from my throat.

I fell to the ground with a loud thump. He was no longer around me, I was alone once again. I scrambled back onto my feet, glancing hastily at the parking lot. I heard a dark chuckle come from the darkness. My eyes widen as I yanked the door opened and slammed it shut, locking it tight. I leaned my back against the door, trying to catch my breath.

He reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t think of who.

I ran to Roger’s office, needing an answer. There was a drawer in his desk, where all the receipts were kept from every night. Roger was very meticulous about it. I grabbed the folder from the previous night I worked. I flipped through all of them until I landed on the one I knew it had to be.

Cyrus Gladstone.

He was Blondie’s… Jasper’s… friend. He knew.

Jasper was dead. And he knew I was the one that got him killed.

Fuck.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, dialing the only number I knew could help me.

“Sam… I need you again.”

~ \/ \/ ~

"How many tips did you make tonight?" I asked, counting out mine again.

Ronnie sighed. "About $20. You?"

"$35." I muttered.

"Ugh, that's not fair. I swear, your blood must smell like a fucking bakery with how many tips you get." She laughed.

"Ain't I lucky." I hissed jokingly.

The door to the bar rang open. Both Ronnie and I sighed. "Sorry, we're closed."

"I'm not here for a drink." A deep voice replied, stepping around the corner.

I turned to face the voice and realized who it was. "Colby..."

"That's Colby?" Ronnie exclaimed quietly. She leaned closer to my ear. "Holy shit he's hot."

"Shhh." I elbowed her lightly, turning back to Colby. "Uh, hey. Are you here to escort me home?"

"Actually, I'm taking you back to our place.” He informed, his hands sliding into his pockets.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh? Okay."

"I'll see you later, Jade. Have fun." Ronnie mumbled, smirking at me and walking to the back to grab her stuff.

"Uh, let's head out." I nodded my head at Colby, slinging my bag over me.

As we walked into the parking lot, Colby stopped me. "Are we really gonna take your car to the club? It's only a couple blocks down."

I scoffed. "I'm sorry... what do you expect me to do? I can't leave my car here."

"Running would be faster." He stated.

"If I was also a vampire." I fumed.

Colby growled, his fangs prominent. "I could turn you into one."

"Shut up and just get in my car." I retorted.

I opened my car door and slid into the seat. Colby stood in the parking lot, glaring at me.

"Are you getting in or not?" I huffed.

He didn't respond.

Who pissed in his Cheerios today?

I rolled my eyes, driving away. "Whatever. I'll meet you back at the Trapp Haus."

I glanced at my rear view mirror, seeing Colby was already gone. I drove, the streets being close to empty since it was so late. I finally got to the Trapp Haus, pulling into the parking lot. Colby had his back rested against the entrance, scrolling through his phone.

I alarmed my car and strolled up to him. "Why exactly am I here?"

"Sam wanted to talk with me and you. That's all he's told me." He remarked. I followed him up the apartment. Walking in, Sam sat on one of the couches, looking up at us.

"Oh good, I was wondering when you were getting here." Sam spoke, smiling.

"So... what do you gotta tell us?" Colby asked.

"Well, I think we have all concluded that Cyrus is after you because of Jasper's death.” Sam admitted.

I nodded my head. “Yeah.”

“He's most likely the person that broke into your apartment. He's trying to get inside your head. Make you feel uncomfortable and nervous.” Sam responded, stepping towards us.

“So, he's playing with his food?” Colby smirked.

Sam and I both glared at him. “Colby... really?”

His lips folded into a tight line. “Sorry.”

Sam sighed. “Anyway, because of this, I want you to stay here until we can hunt him down and kill him.”

“What?” Colby questioned, his arms crossing.

“Dude, let's be honest here. She's not safe. And unless you want to stand guard at her place until he comes a-knocking, it would just be better if she was here.” Sam argued, turning to Colby.

“No, it wouldn't.” Colby grabbed Sam’s arm, pulling him away from me. “Don't you think we've done enough?”

“How?” Sam inquired.

“How are we gonna find where he is? Unless he's living in LA, which may not be the case, he could be anywhere. Are you expecting me to run around the whole fucking city looking for him?” Colby ranted, his voice deep.

Sam scoffed. “What else are we supposed to do? Leave Jade for dead?”

“Yes! We've already done enough. We’ve never gone this far for someone unless they're family. And she's not.”

My heart dropped as Colby's eyes landed on me. They were cold. Unfriendly.

“We can't leave her now. I won't leave her now.” Sam objected.

“We don't even know if he's hunting her. He could just be dicking around.” Colby hissed.

“Or he could be hunting her. We don't know Jasper and Cyrus’ relationship. If someone killed me, you would hunt them down.” Sam stated.

Colby paused for a second, rolling his eyes. “Fine. But how long is she gonna be here?”

“Until you find out where he is.” Sam smirked.

Colby groaned. “Do you wanna give me a clue as to where he could be?”

“Mike talked to a couple of his buddies on the south side. Apparently that where he likes to hang out at. So, snoop around, see what comes up.” Sam replied. He then turned to me. “Jade?”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah?”

“You're gonna sleep in my room until this is all sorted out.” He explained.

I stammered. “No. I can sleep-”

Sam cut me off. “I insist. Besides, it won't be the first time I've fallen asleep on the couch. I'm gonna go get you some clothes to change into. Tomorrow I'll head over with you to your place and we'll pick up some of your stuff.”

I smiled lightly. “Okay.”

Sam left to go into his room. I stared at Colby as he sat down on the couch, sighing deeply.

I stepped over to him, staying a few feet away.

He finally glanced up at me. "What?"

"You really hate me that much." I knew it was true.

My eyes never left his. He just looked at me with an almost sad glimmer.

"Jade?" Sam called.

"Coming." I answered, turning my head away from Colby.

<< CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 5 >>

[the-mad-starker-inactive]

Starker Fic: Blood So Sweet

Vampire fic! Late for Halloween but that's... Nothing new 😅. And it's not (entirely) smutty?  Oh my. Tbh I feel like this is more crack fic than anything and there was supposed to be smut... Oh well.

Notes: Some blood?

💗💗💗

Peter died a very shitty death.

The good news was, he was up and awake in less than 24 hours. His so called sire had been passing by when he found Peter's bleeding body, a hit and run from the looks of it.

Peter had been revived for the mere fact that the vampire had thought it was a pity to have died so young. But beyond that, his sire had no desire to nurture or spend any more time than what was necessary.

No name, no guidance, just a few tips before the creature patted him on his head and drifted off.

Peter learned a lot on his own.

Sunlight was fine.

Garlic was fine.

He didn't test out the running water bit, but he didn't really care to.

For a long time, he thought the drinking blood part was a fake too. He didn't crave anything really, not food, not blood.

Were all the books on vampires that unreliable?

The only thing Peter had learned was that he was pretty much indestructible. Then later in the week, he learned another interesting fact.

He was able to persuade people into doing what he wanted. It didn't always work or maybe Peter was doing it wrong?  But he noticed a kind of glazed look overcoming his target's face. It wore off quickly if he didn't keep talking to them, but the continuous drone of his voice had them compliant and nodding along.

Now, Peter tended to be a good person but even he couldn't resist testing this new power of his. After a week, he figured out most of the quirks and had a new target in mind.

Friday evening, just right out of class and Peter was walking out of the subway. Around him, the buildings reached the sky but there was only one that he was interested it. The boy turned towards the gleaming, brightly lit building that belonged to his idol, Tony Stark.

Peter had looked up to the man since he was very young.

The teen had this whole plan on how he would meet his idol but it would have taken him years. Years to develop something that would catch Mr. Stark's eye and even more years to try to get into the older man's bed. Not to mention, morality might've been an issue with their age gap… Tony was decades older than Peter and while Peter only grew more and more enamoured, he knew the older man might not feel the same.

Peter had a huge crush on the older man and honestly, if given the choice to fuck Tony Stark or not fuck Tony Stark, the answer would be pretty obvious. He just… wanted a little taste. He still planned to romance his idol when they properly met… But he couldn’t turn down the possibility of having one night with Tony Stark.

He walked right into his idol's building, right up to the front desk where a pretty, pale brunette was typing away.

“Hello,” Peter greeted politely, “Is Mr. Stark in?”

She hadn't even looked up before replying.

“Yes. If you wish to make an appointment, you'll need to come in on a business day. Our hours are from 9 to 5,” the lady said, a perfectly memorized speech ready and executed flawlessly.

It was a bit daunting but Peter wasn't going to let that stop him.

“I'll be seeing him today,” Peter told her, firmly.

That caught her attention and she looked up, arching a perfectly shaped brow. She looked even more surprised when she realized Peter was some random teenager that had walked in.

“Mr. Stark does not take walk-in,” she said pointedly.

“I'm an exception,” Peter told her as he focused his mind and pushed his will onto hers.

She didn't blink or react in any way. They never did but the way she stared at him made him feel as though… Did his new power fail? Was there something about it he didn't know?

Before he could panic, the secretary looked back towards her work, disinterested.

“I see,” She then pointed to one of the elevators. “Top floor leads to the penthouse. Access key J0PWL5.”

“Thanks!” He hastily said before hurrying towards the elevator.

J0PWL5… The boy kept repeating the code until he was able to punch it into the touchscreen. The doors closed and Peter bounced on his heels. There was a knot of anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach, but beyond that, Peter was excited.

He was going to fulfill one of his very first fantasies and he just knew that it was going to be amazing. The elevator light flicked through every floor and with each floor that passed, the anxiety melted away. His cock was already showing interest, all those dirty thoughts making the blood rush south.

The elevator doors opened and then… Peter was in.

The penthouse was huge but Peter didn't take the time to properly take it in. He wanted to find Mr. Stark right away. Now that he was there, he felt his desires like it was a hook in his gut. Peter still couldn't believe this was happening but he listened to his instincts. He walked passed several closed doors, his feet leading him down a hall. He stopped right in front of a closed door and knew that his target was waiting inside.

Without any hesitation, he opened the door.

It was dark, the room didn't have a single light turned in.

The only light came from the windows, large ceiling to floor glass with heavy curtains pushed to the sides. The sun had already set and the city lights glowed beyond the glass, fighting with the silvery light of the full moon.

Peter's mouth went dry when he caught sight of the lean form on the chaise positioned right by the window.

The older man was gazing at the lights, long, sinewy limbs stretched out in a lazy sprawl.

The bed, with its rumpled sheets, was proof that the older man had just woken up. The thick, soft comforter looked like it had been pulled along when its owner got up, but it was abandoned on the floor.

Tony Stark didn't look surprised to see him. His eyes were dark and disinterested and it was only due to Peter's enhanced eyesight that he was able to see the sinful curve of the other man's lips.

“Hello,” Stark's voice rumbled, a rough, low purr that jolted Peter from his daze. He felt that hook in his gut twist at the sound of Tony's voice and it pulled a sharp gasp from the boy's lips.

“What are you doing here, hmm?” The older man asked curiously.

Peter took a deep breath, recalling what awaited him if he simply got himself under control.

A step forward, Peter raised his chin defiantly. He reached out the way he had in the past, his mind latching onto that slippery, unfathomable thing that separated one person from another.

Was he really going to do this? Take Mr. Stark's will away just because Peter wanted him?

Maybe later on, Peter would be ashamed. For now, he could only feel want and his desires could be fulfilled tight then and there…

“I want you,” Peter commanded, eyes locked on the older man's. His bravado faltered a bit. “Just… just for tonight. I want you to love me, to… to give me this one night.”

He felt his power rush out to fulfill his order and his eyes slipped shut. He couldn't believe he had done it but it'd be worth it.

Soft laughter met his ears and Peter's eyes flew open in shock.

“Your eyes glow when you do that,” Stark commented. “Did you know?”

He stared at the older man, eyes wide.

“What–” Peter said.

“Quiet, boy,” his target ordered softly. “The adult is talking now.”

His voice left him, lips closing without Peter's intention. Then Mr. Stark held out a hand, beckoning him forward, and Peter's body jerked, his legs moving without meaning to. He wasn't in control anymore and with growing horror, he realized that maybe… maybe he had bit off more than he could chew.

Peter watched as his hand reached out, slender fingers slipping into the older man's. Tony's skin was freezing.

Stark clasped his hand and Peter was helpless as the older man drew him closer until he was able to press Peter's wrist against his cheek. Tony watched Peter with hooded eyes as he turned his face until his nose pressed right against the non-existent pulse there.

A deep breath, audible to Peter's sensitive ears. The boy shivered, glad that he could at least do that.

“How old are you?” Stark wondered, then smirked when Peter's mouth wouldn't open. “Speak.”

“Sixt–”

“No,” Stark dismissed. He took another deep breath, shuddering at what he found there. His eyes slipped closed as though in ecstasy. “A week… two… at most. I can still smell the warmth of the sun in your blood…”

When he opened his eyes again, Peter felt his knees weaken but something kept him from slipping to the floor.

His idol's eyes were glowing as though a flame had been lit behind his irises. Peter's dazed mind couldn't settle on the color of the older man's eyes, brown? Maroon?

Those lips that he had imagined kissing and taking advantage of curled into a wicked smile. He caught sight of the sharp tip of a fang peeking out from beneath Tony's upper lip.

“Yes… You see now,” Tony murmured in delight.

He released Peter's hand and the boy whimpered at the loss. At some point, between when Tony had taken his hand to when he realized it, the older man's skin had warmed and Peter… felt cold. It suddenly made him feel so terrible that the older vampire wasn't touching him.

“Kneel.”

Peter fell to his knees. He should've been terrified, worried for what would happen to him. Somehow, he had bumped into another vampire. And the boy didn't know what the consequences of his actions would be. He should be trembling and yet, finding out his idol's secret only excited Peter even more.

Having Stark's attention, even if this wasn't how he planned it, still excited Peter. Even on his knees, his body leaned towards the older man, soaking up the elder's attention.

“So young…” Tony murmured, staring at him. “But you feel the pull, don't you, kid…?”

“I…” Peter didn't understand and his mind fell quiet when Stark got to his feet.

It was effortless, graceful, beautiful… Peter felt his body reacting, growing warm and aroused at the sight of his idol's naked body.

And yet, he couldn't move. He was forced to stay still as the older vampire circled him, pressing his naked chest against the boy's trembling back. He shuddered when he felt the press of Stark's lips on his ear.

“You wanted to make a meal of me…” Stark whispered, “I think… I’ll return the favor.”

The boy felt the sharp drag of the older man's teeth as Tony pressed them against his neck then a sharp sting as skin broke.

Peter moaned, body trembling in the older man's hold. It should hurt… Instead, Peter felt only ecstasy, felt his blood singing and his fingers curling into tight fists. Tony's tongue licked the wound, his mouth only giving the boy pleasure.

“So sweet…” he heard his idol murmur. “such a sweet treat...”

[guardianofjunmyeon]

I’ve Got You (part 17)

Pairing: Jongdae x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Canon AU, Smut

Description: You work for SM as it’s public relations specialist, and Jongdae is one client that you have to deal with far too often. Sometimes though, he isn’t all that bad.

A/N: This ended up being…nothing like what i planned? I was watching The Return of Superman with Jongdae and Minseok and somehow???? this happened to me??? So warning, lots of fluff and no plot at all and tbh it’s a mess but i needed to get this out of my system before i continued with…relevant plot and drama

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21.

The rest of the trip goes by in a blur. A flurry of rushed meetings, long rehearsals with hidden proud smiles on your part, and late nights sneaking to each others rooms despite the exhaustion you both feel as the days go on.

Being apart becomes just a bit harder after having said ‘I love you’.

You can guess that you’ve said it maybe four times (verbally) since then, while he’s done it any chance he gets. It’s not that you don’t want to say it…you’re just afraid that if you say it too often, it won’t mean as much. It feels like Jongdae is trying to make a point of proving that exact thought wrong.

He seems to get off on saying it out of nowhere and making you speechless.

Jongin also seems to have too much fun just knowing about you both; he hasn’t said anything to anyone, but you see it on his smug fucking face. And now that you know Junmyeon and Minseok know as well, you catch them sharing secret smiles with Jongdae and giving you eyebrow raises that would have embarrassed you if you even cared what they thought anymore. At this point you’re too happy to really care.

The concert in Mexico nearly blows out your eardrums and L.A is stressful, but being able to get on that plane back home brings you so much relief you don’t even feel the fatigue. All you can think about is lying in your bed and knowing you have regular work to return to. All of the traveling and hustle and bustle of being a manager so isn’t for you.

You will kind of miss it though. The trip as a whole at least. It was fun. In more ways than you care to admit.

When you walk through your apartment door, the first thing you do is drop your bags in the hall, walk into your room, and flop right on top of your covers.

Fuck, it’s good to be home.

On the plane ride, you’d planned on unpacking your things and at least starting a load of clothes before relaxing. In fact, you end up doing nearly the exact opposite. Instead of doing anything even remotely productive, you shower, undress and camp out in your living room to marathon watch The Return of Superman and just enjoy being home.

Not an ounce of guilt is felt for the next hours.

You know that you should get some sleep at some point soon, but the jet-lag refuses to let you. Maybe you’ll end up passed out here on the couch in another hour. Who fucking knows.

Your door beeps and opens with a click in the middle of your marathoning and you pause the TV when you hear “I’m home!” being called out.

The eye roll that follows is so dramatic that you could probably win some kind of award for it, if they offered awards for dramatic reactions to equally dramatic boyfriends. “You don’t live here,” a glance at the time on your phone and you see it’s almost 4am.  Shit, do you have work tomorrow? “And it’s 4am. It’s creepy to break in to someone’s house this late at night.”

Jongdae finally walks into your line of vision and you both break out into smiles at the sight of one another. As if you hadn’t seen him before leaving America. “It’s not breaking in if you gave me the code to use whenever,” he comments. You bite back a snort and jump up to hug him as tight as you can. He kisses the top of your nose and you scrunch up your face in confusion.

“Cute,” he teases.

“Shut up.” You sit back in your spot on the couch and continue your show while he sits at your side and tosses an arm over your shoulder. “Did you eat?”

“Mhm. I had something before I left the dorm,” he answers distractedly. His eyebrows furrow as they flit across the television. “Are you watching The Return of Superman?” his voice lifts in curiosity. You keep your eyes on the screen as you nod and immediately decide to not verbalize any answers. Only because you know where this conversation will head. From the TV show to babies to him and finally to things about the future you don’t dare think about. “Did you…watch the episode with me in it?” the way he asks it is casual, but the slight tension in the parts of his body you can feel against your own clues you in to the intention behind it.

You fucking knew it was coming. You knew it, and you know where it’s going.

He leans closer to your ear, from your periphery you can see his smile widening. Can you even get yourself to admit to him that you have? That you watched his part with Minseok maybe 30 times because it was the cutest god damn thing you’ve ever seen in your entire fucking life????

“Yeah,” you grunt out mirthlessly. He wiggles beside you, trying to act cute, and you can’t believe he really wants you to die? Like, how dare he bring up the idea of himself and babies and then act cute on top of it as if your heart was made entirely of ice and could handle something like this????

“What did you think?…” he wiggles again and tilts his head directly in front of you so that he can block the TV with his bright ass smile and expectant expression.

You exhale heavily and turn your body in his direction. “Do you really want to know?” you keep your expression neutral and hope that maybe it’ll scare him off, but you just had to be dating someone who doesn’t seem to give a single fuck and loves making you talk regardless if you appear pissed off or not. Maybe it’s some kink of his…

“I really want to know.”

The slight frown on your face deepens as you try to grab onto the words in your mind that you want to use. You have to say this right. Your relationship is still young and you could scare him off if you talk about babies. Babies always scare boys off. He blinks and wiggles again with that god damned smile and it’s the final straw. You huff angrily and cave. You feel to weak when he looks like that. “It was the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life and I almost cried while I watched it,” you tell him keeping your expression even and tone serious.

He leans backward and his mouth drops open at your words. Maybe you broke him. Holy shit maybe you really should have filtered your words a bit better. Why’d he even have to bring the topic up? It’s his fault. You were completely fine never bringing it up, but of course fucking Jongdae just had to-

The weight on the couch shifts as (out of nowhere) he pounces on you and squeezes you too tight making noises you don’t even know how to define or describe. “You’re the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life!” he shouts nuzzling into your neck and squishing you in every way he can.

“Jongdae!” you wheeze. Wriggling around and covering his mouth with your hand you bite back your own embarrassed laughter. “It’s 4am you dumb butt, and you’re crushing me,”

He moves your hand, snorts out a ‘am not’ and pushes up onto his forearms. Still trapping you beneath him, beaming as bright as ever, he asks, “You like kids?”

“…Yes. I love kids,” you answer hesitantly.

“Why didn’t you ever say so?”

“Because…that’s not exactly something people just bring up when they aren’t around kids…”

His head tilts and something shifts in the playfulness that was originally in his eyes. “So…you want to have…your own kids one day?”

You blink and feel your heart stuttering in fear. “Yes,” you manage to murmur.

For some reason, you hope that the conversation will end here, but of fucking course it doesn’t. Because he’s…who he is and just has to ask more. “Can you…” your stomach drops “see yourself having kids…with me?” his words lose all confidence and volume and he sounds as vulnerable as you feel.

You’ve been dating for months. Not even that many months, but…you’re having the baby talk? You’re both really talking about the idea of having kids?? In the future?? With each other??? Jongdae as the father?? Of your?? Kids??? Your mind can’t compute it. And yet somehow your mouth moves on its own. “Yeah…”

He quiets entirely and just stares. Stares in that way that makes your heart flutter and stomach drop all the way into your ass because he’s so open, and looks so happy and content and it’s…because of you. Because he loves you and the stupid admission that you could see yourself with him years in the future starting your own family seemed to bring him some kind of happiness and-

Fuck it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying because it’s been so short a time and yet somehow this feels right. It feels okay to be talking about something as serious as this even though you’ve never talked about marriage. Never talked about what you would do if news of you got out. Never even thought about the short term, forget about something as long term as this.

Maybe you fell too fast. You’re afraid…that maybe…just maybe this love will fizzle out just as quickly. It feels childish and raw.

It scares you. All of it scares you.

But when Jongdae smiles again and leans backward so that you can sit up and whispers out an awed ‘yeah’ that’s filled with as much disbelief as it is anticipation and excitement, you forget about that fear. You forget about it because he’s happy. He’s happy because of you and even if it doesn’t last as long as he thinks it might, as long as you hope it might, being able to protect that smile for now keeps you going.

You’d do anything to protect his smile.

The extent of how far you know you’d go, is kind of unsettling. It feels like a ticking time bomb is waiting below the surface of something and you aren’t sure when it will explode and take you both down with it. If you can take the brunt of the explosion…you’ll do it in a heartbeat.

Minutes pass and you can’t focus back on the show in front of you. Your attention is spread between looking at him and running through the millions of thoughts flittering through your mind. Does he think this is moving fast? Maybe you should clarify…what do you even have to clarify? Maybe you should just keep your big mouth shut- “Jongdae,” your mouth is a traitor. He turns to you and you know you don’t have a chance to think through what you wanted to tell him.

“Yeah?”

“Years…” you flinch at the lack of confidence in your voice. Clearing your throat, you try again. “Years from now. I…I don’t want kids yet, but years in the future after I get married and everything. But who even knows when that will happen or what could happen between now and then between us. What I’m trying to say is I don’t want either of us to get caught up on the idea of having kids when we haven’t even been dating that long and haven’t even thought about marriage and-”

“Who says I haven’t thought about it?”

Your mouth dries up immediately. You stare dumbly as he proceeds to laugh his ass off at your reaction. “You asshole,” you hiss. You smack his shoulder and groan loudly in embarrassment. He’s such a fucking- ugh.

He catches your hands and beams in amusement despite the fact that you’re literally (not even figuratively) dying, dying, of embarrassment. You can’t believe him! “Okay. Okay sorry!” he laughs again which makes his comment seem entirely insincere. You halfheartedly try to free your hands from his grip. “I’m not crazy. I know none of this is stuff that will happen like…tomorrow. But I’m not letting you go. You’re stuck with me, you know? One day…even if its…50 years in the future we’re going to be married and have two kids and-”

“I fucking swear-” you struggle in misery only to be cut off at the feeling of his lips on yours.

It’s too quick for you to respond, and he only moves back enough for you to see the crinkles at the sides of his eyes as he smiles. “I love you,” he chirps softly.

Your face heats. “Are you serious?”

“About me being absolutely in fucking love with you or the stuff before that?” you roll your eyes in mock aggravation. His eyebrow ticks up in mischief. “Of course I was serious. I’ve planned out how and when I’m going to propose to you and everything.” You gape, and he sits back in his spot to watch TV as if he didn’t just throw your entire mind into disarray. “Jongdae, are you serious!?” He just smirks. “Jongdae!? You can’t say something like that and- and not go on!”

“What else is on? Do you want to watch Running Man?”

You exhale in defeat. There’s not enough energy in your body for you to fight for a real response. “You’re the absolute worst…”

“Yeah…but you love me anyway,” he says triumphantly. You have no will to lie and argue otherwise because you really fucking do love him. He Swings his head in your direction with an unnecessarily heart stopping smile. “I love you too.”

“Go home Jongdae…”

“But I am home?”

“Oh my god-”

“Fine I’ll leave then-” he stands up abruptly and your arms reach out to grab him unconsciously.

“Wait no you aren’t actually-”

“I can’t believe I’m dating a tsundere…”

“I am not tsundere,” you argue, letting go of his arm to prove your point. He glances down at your hands and raises an eyebrow knowingly. “I love you…I…don’t leave…” you tell him softly.

Getting the words you know he wanted to hear, he smiles again and sits back down in satisfaction. “I hadn’t planned on it.”