#tbh i don't mind but why does he choose now to come back-

[iunctura-a]

having haitham brainworms again. send help... and maybe books.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

What're friends for?

AN: As a fellow weeb, bringing up Soobin and hentai was only a matter of time. This is just crack tbh. Also, this is just me once again pushing the Boobs enthusiast! Soobin and Sub! Soobin agendas. (Also also, I was tipsy while editing this so, hopefully it's some level of coherent 💀)

Synopsis: A night that was supposed to be spent watching anime with your best friend takes a sharp turn when he accidentally forgets to close his hentai tab.

Heads up: Choi Soobin x Fem! Reader, mostly pwp, friends to friends who fuck, crack, mentions of hentai, Dom! Reader, Sub! Soobin, dirty talk, Reader thinks Soobin is cute and calls him cute a lot, handjob, oral sex (m. receiving), Reader has boobs big enough to give Soobin a titjob, titjob and Soobin cums on Reader's face and tiddies.

Word count: 2353

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

"Hurry up!" you yell, making yourself comfortable on Soobin's bed as you wait for him to return from the kitchen with drinks.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. It's not like My Hero is going to go anywhere," he retorts when he finally returns with two glasses and a bottle of soda, shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah but, we barely get to spend time together in person and I don't want to waste it," you respond, moving over a little so he can comfortably settle beside you.

"True but, you don't need to yell," he says, rolling his eyes at you and grabbing his remote to switch on his TV.

Any response you have dies on your tongue when loud moans assault your ears. You're startled when you turn to see hentai playing on Soobin's screen. A pretty graphic scene of the male protagonist getting a titfuck from a woman with a...generous bust plays out on the screen, obscene sounds emitting from both of them.

Soobin fumbles with the remote, rushing to turn the TV off as quickly as he can. Silence rings out throughout his bedroom.

"Don't," is all he manages to choke out, his face speedrunning its way into scarlet territory.

"Hey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. A lot of people watch porn," you say sincerely.

Soobin makes a noise that's a combination of embarrassment, frustration and distress. He refuses to look in your direction, choosing instead to stare holes into his bedroom door. Looking for all the world that he hopes the earth underneath him would open and swallow him whole.

"Seems like I was right about you being a boob guy atleast," you say jokingly, trying to ease the tension in the air.

He turns to face you so fast you're half surprised he doesn't snap his neck. "Who- how- why are you talking about what I prefer?" He asks, and his voice cracks halfway through.

"Soobin, relax, none of this is that big of a deal," you shrug, "You're not exactly... subtle when you take peaks at my boobs. Also, I just think you have boob guy energy. Can't really explain it beyond that."

You've never seen Soobin look like he's wished for death more than right now.

"I'm sorry for staring at your- um- it's inappropriate and really disrespectful-"

"Don't worry about it. I'm not offended. I'm pretty flattered, actually," you respond with a wave of your hand.

He looks stunned then, "Wha-what? You're not offended? Wait, you're flattered? Why?"

"Who doesn't feel flattered when someone thinks they're attractive?" You ask with a laugh, "Really, this doesn't have to be a big deal, Soobin."

"You're not the one whose porn habit was just exposed," he fires back but, it's difficult to take him seriously with that cute flush still colouring his cheeks.

"I don't mind sharing if you're really that curious,"

"You're really annoying, you know that?"

"Yet you think I'm attractive so, what does that say about you?"

Soobin looks like he's 5 seconds away from yelling.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," you soothe with minimal laughter this time around. Giving his arm a comforting squeeze. He says nothing after that, and the two of settle into a tense silence. However, you've always been too curious and talkative for your own good.

"Have you ever tried it?"

"Tried what?" He asks with his face scrunched up cutely in confusion.

"What they were doing in the hentai. Have you ever gotten a titjob?" You ask, genuinely curious.

The strangled noise he let's out starts to make you consider that maybe you are taking this a little too far.

"No," he mumbles out, dragging his hand across his face and pointedly looking at anything in his room that isn't you.

"Would you like to?"

"What?" Soobin's wide, startled eyes meeting yours. As though he's not entirely sure he heard you correctly.

"Would you like one? I wouldn't mind," you say sincerely. You've always thought your best friend was attractive and, clearly, he thinks you're attractive too. The circumstances couldn't be more perfect if you tried.

Soobin just stares at you for a long minute. His lips parted, and eyes wide.

"Are you... serious?"

"Yeah. I know I tease and joke a lot but, I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't serious,"

"You don't have to do this out of some misplaced sense of pity or whatever. I'll survive being embarrassed,"

"I'm not. I really want to. You can obviously say no. I'd never hold it against you, but I'm not offering out of pity. Not in the slightest,"

Soobin seems to still not believe this is all real, but he doesn't look quite as skeptical, and he's looking at you now, so that's a start.

"Okay," he says so softly that you almost miss it. Anticipation courses through you when his words do finally register. You shuffle closer to him then. Feeling a bit of pride when his blush darkens and his hands nervously toy with his sheets.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?"

"Yes," the already breathy quality of his voice makes your insides squirm. It's cute how he jumps slightly when your hand rests dangerously high on his thigh. You don't give him much time to think about it, though, because soon your lips are against his.

The moan he let's out goes straight to pussy. A dull ache already settling in as you try your best not to push him down and straddle his lap. You can't help the uptick of your lips when you feel him shudder as your tongue teases his mouth. He's just so fucking cute.

"You can touch me, you know," you tell him when you trail kisses along his jaw. Your hand moving further up his thigh as you shift closer to him.

"I did-didn't want to ma-make you uncomfortable," he stutters out, hands hovering nervously over you. "Soobin, you're going to be fucking my tits. It's completely fine to touch me," and to prove your point, you grab one of his gigantic hands and press it to one of your breasts.

Choosing not to wear a bra today definitely worked out for you. He seems to take initiative from there. Tentatively squeezing and letting a breathless 'fuck' as he takes in how soft you are.

Before you can utter more teasing remarks, his other hands weaves its way into your hair, and he meets your lips in a frenzied kiss. You moan against his pillowy lips when his thumb brushes over your nipple through your shirt. That just seems to egg him on more. Groaning into you when he gives you a particularly harsh squeeze.

For your part, your hands toy with the waistband of his sweats. Smiling when you feel his abdomen tense and jump with ever brush of your fingertips.

"Y/n," he whines, hips jerking towards you. "Yes?" You pull back and ask coyly, the ache between your thighs worsening as you take in how dishevelled he already looks.

"You're playing with me," he says with a pout and god, you want to ruin him. However, you push down the thought. You don't want to scare him off so soon.

"Playing with you? How?" You ask, titling your head in faux confusion.

"You're teas-teasing me. I want you t-to touch me," he rushes out so quickly you nearly miss his words. When you register what he says, your walls clench hard. You're a little surprised he said it so directly. Maybe he's becoming desperate. Cute.

"I am touching you, Soobin," you don't fail to notice the way he shudders when you say his name.

"You know what I mean,"

"I don't. You have to be specific,"

For a brief moment, you think he isn't going to respond. Maybe too embarrassed to tell you what he wants exactly.

"I want you to touch my cock," he whispers and, you pounce.

You don't give him a moment to comprehend what's happening. Kissing him fiercely as your hand snakes its way down his sweats and boxers. You both moan into each other at the contact. Fuck, he's much bigger than you fantasised about. Hot and incredibly hard in your palm.

"You're already so hard," you tease as you dot kisses along his jaw and, barely stroke him. The copious amounts of the pre-cum he's leaked out making for an easy glide nonetheless. Briefly, you wonder if he'd let you sit on it and ride him to your heart's content. Another time maybe.

"Yeah, for you," he moans, eyes fluttering shut and hips jolting against your hand to get as much friction as he can. It's not fair in the slightest how good he looks like this. His words certainly don't help either.

Impatiently, you tug his boxers and sweats down, and the sight of him flushed an appealing red makes you clench hard.

"Is it okay if I suck you off? Going in dry wouldn't be...pleasant," you ask, watching him for any signs of hesitance. However, you're met with the opposite. A throaty groan falling from his plush lips and his cock twitching against his stomach. This man really might just be the death of you.

"Yeah, it's okay," he mumbles, avoiding your gaze as the blush in his cheeks darken.

"You're so fucking cute," you breathe, kissing his neck and stroking him less leisurely this time around. His moans and the jerky, shallow thrusts of his hips into your hand make you grin against his skin and, your insides squirm.

"Shut up," he retorts but, it's severely undercut by how fucked out he already sounds. His hands gripping the sheets harshly.

"Oh?" You ask with faux innocence, stilling your hand around the base of his cock. Biting back a giggle when he whines and tries to fuck your hand for any sort of friction.

"Fu-fuck, fine. I'm so-sorry. I'm sorry, okay?" He grits out.

"Good boy," you say with a grin that's likely a tad too smug. Giving his jaw one more kiss, you ease yourself onto his floor. Honestly, you're impressed you're being so composed about all of this. Your breath stuttering in your lungs when you're eye level with his ridiculously appealing cock.

Soobin feels himself throb when your soft breaths hit him. It's made worse when he sees your tongue lick your lips and the look in your eyes. You look like you want to devour him.

The sharp gasp he let's out when you take your first lick of him goes straight to your clit. Ruined panties sticking to you uncomfortably as you familiarise yourself with the slightly salty taste that is all Soobin. His hips instinctively buck into you when you finally decide to stop toying with the poor man and, see how far you can take him.

"Fuc-fuck, sorry," he groans, eyes shut tightly as he tries his best to reign in his reactions. Such a cutie. You'd tell him so if your mouth wasn't filled with his dick. A mixture of your saliva and his pre-cum slipping past your lips and down your chin. Your hand stroking what you can't fit in your mouth and making sure he's thoroughly coated.

However, as much as you'd happily make him cum down your throat and keep sucking him off until he cries, tonight isn't about that.

His eyes are frantic and glassy when they meet yours. He looks so genuinely offended that you stop sucking him off that it almost makes you laugh. "Why?" Is all his foggy brain can seem to supply and you really want to kiss him.

Instead of answering him with words, you tug off your shirt and Soobin doesn't seem so upset anymore. Fiery eyes take in your breasts and committing them to memory. You don't fail to notice his cock twitching against his stomach, a fresh drop of pre-cum leaking out of him. God, he's just so easy.

"Still complaining?" You can't help but, tease. However, any response he would've given you dies on his tongue when you cup your breasts and envelope his slick cock in them.

The moan that flies from his lips is so wanton and broken that you can practically feel yourself soaking through your shorts. His eyes are shut as he tries his best not to fuck up into your ridiculously soft tits. Such a good boy.

You notice his large hands grip his sheets even more fiercely than before when you start to move. Allowing him to get accustomed to the glide of his cock between the valley of your breasts.

"Fe-Feels so good," he stutters out, weakly bucking into your touch. You've never felt more aroused in your entire life. He's so sensitive and responsive. You're sure you could have him cumming within minutes.

You bite back a grin when he gasps as you lick and suck at the head of his cock that pokes out. Looking up at him through fluttering lashes with his tip in your mouth and the rest of him nestled comfortably between your unfairly soft tits. His pre-cum and your saliva smearing your breasts.

You knew it wouldn't take much but, it still startles you when Soobin cums. He babbles out apologies as his hips jolt against you. His warm, thick cum landing on your tongue, face and breasts before you can even fully comprehend what just happened.

His cum isn't unpleasant. A little salty and you swallow it as he cock begins to soften between your breasts. You give him an apologetic look when he shudders as you slowly remove him from between your breasts. Looking around for anything to clean yourself up with.

"Fuck, again I'm so sorry," he apologises reaching into his bedside table for a few tissues, "here you go. I didn't mean to...make a mess."

Those words really shouldn't affect you as much as they do. At this point, you're sure even your shorts are ruined.

"It's okay. Honestly, it was really hot seeing you fall apart like that,"

The embarrassed, strained groan he gives you makes you smile harder than perhaps strictly necessary. He really is just so easy.

[adventuringblind]

hi, could you perhaps do an Oscar x Autistic reader where the reader is sensitive to loud noises and uses earplugs in public or where they has them but don't use them because they think they can get by without them but actually needs them. you can choose. Love the series!

Discreet

Oscar Piastri x Autistic Reader

Summary: Reader has been told all her life that she will scare people off with her headphones. Turns out they actually help a lot!

Warnings: mentions of toxic past and ableism

Notes: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... I feel called out by this ask tbh.

Masterlist

Should she be wearing her headphones? Yes. Is she? No. Absolutely not. Why, you may ask? Because she was raised that wearing headphones is going to scare away people. Make her more of an alien in the world than she already feels.

It was supposed to be a calm after party. She'd wanted to celebrate with Oscar for an amazing weekend. Oscar underestimated how rowdy the group could get. Lando had invited half the grid to his hotel room.

It's far too loud for her. A small enclosed space, a variety of different smells mix together, the lights are flashing from the TV. It's all too much for her. It's so loud she can't think properly.

She's currently hiding in the corner of the room with the least number of people. She's doing her best to calm herself down, but the longer she stays here, the harder it gets.

A presence is made known to her by the wall vibrating from weight being slumped against it. "Did you bring your headphones?" Oscar asks from beside her.

She wants to say yes. Tell him she brought them like she was supposed to. But she hadn't because this is a social event, and she doesn't want to scare anybody away.

Oscar takes her lack of words and gestures as a no. "Well, I brought ear plugs just in case. We can sit here until you feel able to walk again, and then I'll come up with a lame ass excuse to get out of here. Sound like a plan?"

This time, she does nod her head. She takes the ear plugs from Oscar and fits them into her ears. It's not the greatest at stopping the noise, but it's something for now.

She takes a few deep breaths and hides her face in her boyfriends shoulder. Effectivley keeping the lights away for a minute.

She taps his hand to signal she's ready (a secret code they'd created for non-verbal moments like this). Oscar helps her up, and then they clamber over to Lando. Her feet are tripping over everything as they do so.

"Thanks for inviting us, Lan. We're gonna go get some sleep now."

It's not even an excuse. It's probably just the honest truth. Regardless, Lando smiles at them and thanks them for coming.

Outside the room, she feels like her lungs are less restricted. Her senses claw at the relief as they walk back to Oscar's room. Her body feels relieved as she puts on her comfy clothes and throws herself under the covers.

"You know you can wear your headphones, right love? It's nothing to ever be ashamed of." Oscar crawls into the bed next to her. She sidles up to him, laying her head on his chest.

"I know. I just - don't want people to be scared of me." She mumbles the last part, but Oscar still hears it.

"Your real friends will be the ones who don't care if you wear headphones or not. They help you and you like them. That's all that matters."

She is able to relax on the thought that Oscar will always want the best for her. He doesn't care that she stims or follows the same patterns. And he'll never mind if she wears headphones. He thinks they make her look more badass anyway.

[we-will-all-be-stories]

Camp Half-Blood Tumblr Dash

🪻flower-child Follow

okay but does anyone actually know where nico di angelo goes half the time?? like the man drops off the face of the earth for months at a time and no one bats an eye

🗡️stabsmcgee43 Follow

no but fr he leaves for like three months and comes back with a power upgrade, a new sister, and is apparently a senator for the romans?? who exist for some reason???

🥜for_peanutbutter Follow

so apparently he and will solace just got back from fucking tarTARUS! and this wasnt even his FIRST TIME THERE?! wHAT!?

🎯beau-and-arrow Follow

ngl i thought he was in the mafia up until a week ago

#apparently he works for his father?? #i cant even get my godly parent to claim me #and he's out here living in the underworld with his dad and step-mom

79 notes

🐎ifelloffapegasus Follow

being 12 years old and choosing a dagger as a your weapon of choice because you want to be like Annabeth Chase even though you're shit at fighting is simply a canon event that cannot be interfered with

42 notes

🎆call-me-andromache Follow

oh to be drinking hot chocolate in a New Rome cafe while studying for my DSTOMP exam

🪙one-million-drachmas Follow

hey op how about we don't romanticize the camp that literally tried to erase the greeks from existence

🎆call-me-andromache Follow

well excuse me for wanting to live past the age of 18

14 notes

🎆call-me-andromache Follow

#i dont even know who my godly parent IS #let alone have i ever even gone on a quest #who do you think i am, percy jackson??? #why would you make a school for demigods if you were just gonna deny them #tbh i didnt even know the roman gods even interacted with their children #where are they getting their letters from?

98 notes

😶‍🌫️one-time-hypnos-dreamt Follow

I got turned into an ear of corn by a child of Demeter but they didn't know how to turn me back so I had to live the rest of my life as a talking vegetable until one day when Persephone (of all the gods??) came to camp and took pity on me so she turned me back into a human but now I have corn silk for hair because of it

325 notes

💄totallynotanaphroditekid Follow

i found a squirrel during capture the flag last night and it wont leave me alone does anyone want a new pet? i named him paris after that dude from the iliad

🏃‍♂️shesarunnershesatrackstar Follow

bro drop him off at the hermes cabin after dinner tonight

💃dancing-drakon Follow

as the hermes head counselor pls do not bring him to our cabin

🦉wise-mind Follow

So are we just going to ignore the fact that OP, a child of Aphrodite, named the squirrel PARIS

💄totallynotanaphroditekid Follow

get off my post im trying to start something

21 notes

[austinslounge]

Those pics you posted of them in NYC a few weeks ago, they are just sad to look at. Austin is walking ahead of her. She's trying desperately to hang onto this relationship, You can tell. She's 'chasing' after him so to speak. Not literally (well a little bit) but more figuratively. But the stark difference in just a year is crazy. Even last fall, Austin was still holding her hand and trying to make an effort. Now he's just as you said checked out.

I've always felt that Kaia is way out of her depth when it comes to Austin. The 10 year age gap have become more prominent, especially the last year. I see videos of Austin and just the confidence, dedication, and sex appeal this man displays. I don't feel like a girl like Kaia knows what to do with a MAN like Austin. Because he is a man and she comes off still as an immature teenager.

He really does need someone who's on his level and his age, to be frank. It's was so apparent when he was going press with Jodie. How much more natural their chemistry was together. They were on the same level. Not saying he wants to date Jodie. But a woman like Jodie who exudes confidence, and takes her career seriously.

I really don't know what either of them is waiting for and why they are letting this relationship carry on for so long. It's just sad watching two people who deserve to find happiness (everyone deserves happiness) and choose to be miserable.

Those pics you posted of them in NYC a few weeks ago, they are just sad to look at. Austin is walking ahead of her. She's trying desperately to hang onto this relationship, You can tell. She's 'chasing' after him so to speak. Not literally (well a little bit) but more figuratively.

Girl yes! The coldness in those NYC pics (even the ones before he went to the Indy500 event mind you) was pretty telling. Even Kaia's face looked done lol. 😄

The way Austin is with Kaia is especially weird and odd, considering that we know how much Austin loves to smile, and also considering how Austin is with other women he's been romantically linked with.

Nobody can look at the recent pictures of Austin and Kaia and tell me that they don't see a stark difference between how he is with her (especially lately) and how he's been with other women he's been with.

And you can tell these latter pics were not staged either, because the photos are all grainy lol.

If people can't tell the stark difference between Austin and Kaia and Austin and just about any woman lol, then Idk what else to say. 😅

I've always felt that Kaia is way out of her depth when it comes to Austin. The 10 year age gap have become more prominent, especially the last year. I see videos of Austin and just the confidence, dedication, and sex appeal this man displays. I don't feel like a girl like Kaia knows what to do with a MAN like Austin. Because he is a man and she comes off still as an immature teenager.

Same.

He really does need someone who's on his level and his age, to be frank. It's was so apparent when he was going press with Jodie. How much more natural their chemistry was together. They were on the same level. Not saying he wants to date Jodie. But a woman like Jodie who exudes confidence, and takes her career seriously.

Granted, they were selling a movie, but I agree with you. Jodie seemed way more his speed, the chemistry between them was effortless, and Austin just had more LIFE with her, like he had with those other women I posted above.

I may catch flack for saying this, but I actually think that Austin would do better with an older woman tbh. I recall hearing a while back that he actually has a preference for older women. 🤔 Not sure how true that is, but it would make sense to me. He seems to like confident women.

I really don't know what either of them is waiting for and why they are letting this relationship carry on for so long. It's just sad watching two people who deserve to find happiness (everyone deserves happiness) and choose to be miserable.

I'm honestly not sure either tbh. They both look like they'd be happier with other people tbh. 😂 They are almost giving Ben & JLo vibes before their divorce became public lol.

I'm going to be SO curious to see who each of them date after this, and if we see a very stark difference in how they are with their new partners lol. 👀🤭

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Cheryl & The Blues

A lovely friend of mine pointed something out to me this morning. Namely, the "why" of the blue dress in Season 1, which had led me to the meaning of blue for Cheryl.

I had asked for his insights previously, as he is a costume designer who is far more visually inclined than I, but it wasn't until now that I got a response. (He has always been a RiverHater, but it seems he is coming around. Our flock grows. Praise Mother Gaia.) In any case, he pointed out that this dress is an attempt from Cheryl to embody Cinderella.

Here is a quick paraphrase of what he said:

She is is desperately trying to NOT be Cheryl during this dinner. At one point she even says "It's supposed to be Cinderella who ran away from the ball." Thus, the blue dress is here to help her emulate the "trad wife heterosexual Cinderella." By the end of the scene, she goes full Cheryl and snaps on Archie because her charade doesn't work and everyone still thinks she's a chaotic lesbian.

Lots to unpack here, no?

As we know, Cheryl IS red. So, seeing her in blue (and this is blue, despite the fact that it looks sort of green. A nod to envy, perhaps?) is very strange. Blue is Betty's color, and though Betty is NOT the ultimate trad wife heterosexual, she is coded that way. In fact, much of her internal character conflict is about her having to grapple with being "The Girl Next Door".

So, this dress is Cheryl's attempt to be "The Girl Next Door". It seems so simple now that I think about it, but still.

I think it's interesting that Cheryl invokes Cinderella specifically, rather than Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Snow White would certainly make sense. She's tortured by an evil mother figure and pale as snow, both things that Cheryl could relate to. There's even poison in that story and we all know how much Penelope loves poison. Sleeping Beauty wouldn't really make sense until after Cheryl's Sweet Water River incident, but still. I think it's kind of interesting how many fairytale princesses we could link to Cheryl.

She chooses Cinderella though. Why? Well, Cinderella is also tormented by an evil mother figure, but her most significant moment is being transformed. Cinderella is lifted from the ashes of her wretched life to go to the ball with the help of her fairy godmother in the hopes of winning the heart of the prince. The prince is clearly Archie and there is no Fairy Godmother. Maybe that's why it doesn't work.

In any case, Cheryl is a lot, even for herself, so it makes sense that she would try to suppress her true colors, so to speak, from time to time to satisfy a particular goal. She is aware that she is too much, at least to some degree at any given moment of the series, so yeah. She whips out the blue when she's trying to tone herself down.

(I'm probably making too much of this, but there's something about Cheryl Blossom and fairytales that just clicks in my mind. It reminds me of Blanche DuBois from Streetcar saying, "I don't want realism, I want magic!" I feel like Cheryl would agree with that. )

Also! Another time that Cheryl wears blue? Toni's bachelorette party in Season 6. This is another time that you could argue she is trying to suppress herself in the interest of being a supportive ex. (Also fascinating that Heather is wearing red! A testament to her love for Cheryl, I think. This IS right before they have their big kiss.)

She also wears blue when she comes up with the idea to kill Percival for Toni's wedding present. It's a sort of "show of support", but we all know she does not support this union and desperately wants Toni back so....

This is also likely why the Sister of Quiet Mercy uniforms are blue. They are symbols of repression for Cheryl specifically. (And Betty too, tbh. I think this 'suppression' narrative probably works for Betty too, but I would need to actually go through and check that. So, for now, let's just focus on Cher Cher.)

Now, Cheryl wears blue pretty often in season 7, but that makes sense considering the fact that she has to suppress herself quite a bit due to the nature of the times. But like, look at this:

These are all moments where Cheryl is actively suppressing her true feelings, in this case, the gay ones. However, what's different about these instances, and these costumes, is that the truth is always poking through. The suppression in the 50's is different. She's not trying to suppress herself FROM herself. Not in the long run. The red accents remind us who she truly is and that she is still Cheryl Blossom underneath that trad wife, heterosexual nonsense she's putting on.

All this to say: When Cheryl is wearing blue she is actively suppressing herself! It's consistent!

ADDENDUM:

Where does this analysis place her River Vixen uniform?

As you can see, it is predominantly blue. However, I do not think that it fits into the "suppression narrative" in the same way as her other blue outfits. The River Vixen uniform is blue, but it's also a symbol of the Town and of Cheryl's sense of belonging within her community. Though I do think the red versions of her Vixen attire that she wears in season 5 are symbolic of her truly owning her place in the town as the Coach of the Vixens and also the Blossom Heir, I don't think she's actively suppressing herself as a River Vixen.

Tune in next time for White and, one day, Green. (Also wondering about Pink.......)

Ciao!

[alitgblog]

s9 vol 4 thoughts: actually head relatively empty this volume thats not a great thing 😬

I guess first off is I completely forgot what the cliffhanger last volume was so I didn't even know what was gonna happen coming into this volume and tbh I played it like four hours ago at the time of me writing this, I still don't remember.

I do remember deciding my MC was conflicted about Chen after his ex and I just need an excuse for my MC to be messy (I've decided to headcanon drama for her and in my head this is justified in her beach hut clips which, btw, I still miss the beach hut 🥲). more importantly, that's why I had her stay in the bed with Henri, and this resulted in basically nothing. like I know he said he was stepping back, but he's still an option so I was just hoping for a bigger fight from him? By the end of the volume it felt more like he was waiting for Chen and Jude to mess up so he could swoop in. Kinda boring, a little bit of a let down bc I did enjoy the love triangles with him and Melissa and Chen a little bit in volume 1 and we never really got more of it.

Okay the breakfast chat with Hamish was cute. His personality is definitely toned down now that he's an LI, but I'm glad they're keeping some of his personality. It does make him a bit more intriguing than the all in for you and only you and can't think about anything else type characters (Chen/Henri/Jude/Lyle)

The game being three games in one was odd to me? I'm probably just being nitpicky but I'm like no the game would've been either a physical challenge with multiple parts including the balloons, or Mr. and Mrs., or a vote from the islanders (which is not a game), but all three?? Nahh. Nevertheless, it did what it had to do.

No actually it didn't do what it had to do, because for some reason the prize was essentially MC getting three quick separate dates? She doesn't even cook in the kitchen with her date? Like if we're gonna do that might as well just make the challenge an individual one and then MC wins the challenge and then the prize is all the guys have to cook her dinner. And if we really need to remove Finn and Hamish then just have them leave the kitchen once the food is made to go have chats with their partners and then the other offer to stay behind and serve MC.

Oh yeah so Shawn is there. That's alright I guess. I kinda dislike having the old islanders show up as guest hosts? I didn't mind Bella and I like Grace but she still seemed out of place being the host for a date? Like we could've removed her. it's just so random and I think it's just because fusebox is hoping we pay gems to find out where our "favorite" islanders are now. And they can't do S1 but they needed a chef so that's how we get Shawn.

like I said, choosing chaos, so she did kiss Henri and I did feel a little bad for Chen because he saw it and dropped everything he was so shocked oops felt a little bad. But she kissed Chen too so... all good?

and here's where I forget the order of things so forgive me if it seems like I'm all over the place

Melissa seems less aggy and that's nice bc i like her and her sprite and i wish she wasnt just another woman fusebox wants us to hate (a la Luna/Sophie/Emel). her sudden return to Henri is absolutely just because we need her to be with SOMEONE and I wish it was fleshed out just a little bit more. like either make it seem more natural that she's gone back to him and show us her like making an effort to apologize (maybe she just asks the girls for advice and MC has a chance to sabotage if actually she wants him for herself). Or alternatively let one of the girls call her out for how she seems like she's just playing the game. Like Henri is her second choice clearly she just needs to keep him close because Hamish has pied her off for Natasha. Not asking for much, this could be like five lines of dialogue and I'd forgive fusebox if this never came up again after.

Kat, Finn, and Kelly wrapping things up very quickly and OFF SCREEN right before the recoupling was odd and rushed. At least Kat is moving on thank god we can move away from this storyline

Oh crap I remember the cliffhanger from last volume now, it was the cheating thing from Kat and Finn. Boring overused trope. At least they walked away from it realizing they won't work together (or at least Kat did, I'm not so sure about Finn). Pls let that be the end of the storyline 🙏🙏

for those of yall on a wlw route, I am wondering if answering Melissa's question about who MC is more interested in between Kelly and Natasha determines only the hideaway option or also closes one of their routes? like I don't think they'll pull a S6 and if you pick Kelly then Natasha gets dumped, but that's only because it seems like they're going the S8 route of they need to stay because Hamish will be with Natasha and Kelly with Finn (the way that Claudia always goes back to Theo and Bea with Liam/Logan).

Hamish wanting to be better for Natasha is cute actually and I think it makes his character better as an LI because it shows he can change and wants to, especially for the right person. And he's loyal to her (or trying to be? it's unclear, considering how they've also had him making moves on Melissa in previous episodes). But if we say he is, then I could see his route opening up more when Natasha rejects him (maybe in Casa? Maybe before, maybe for MC) so you still have that storyline and it's less snakey, they just have to cope with essentially him having MC as second choice (which I also think we could just change make it a Jake S1 sorta storyline: he has to admit he was afraid before and also wanted to be loyal to his partner and give her a chance hoping it stuck but realizing he cant force it.. maybe that was his problem in s6 too going all in with Grace only to get burned when she stayed with Ozzy. And like I think it could work as long as its not happening at the very last recoupling)

It's a good day to be open to flirting with Finn especially after I didn't couple with him playing S5 and then subsequently never again played S5 because it's S5 and so never coupled with Finn. But I do wonder how boring these episodes must be if you're not. I'm a fan of the slow burn though I just need it to make sense!! Him getting stolen by other girls is fine for now but if it's a boys choice recoupling or MC gets to go first and he's still not an option I'll be upset 😤

Finn and Hamish every day look more and more like good routes and that's fully because they're individual routes. Like say what you want about S5, but at least they didn't merge three to four guys' personality into one. (they're all bad in their own ways.) All things considered, as long as we don't continue to merge routes (like I anticipate Henri/Chen/Jude/Lyle are the same from here on out, minus some details in the dialogue), I dont hate the idea of having a few interchangeable guys for the loyal routes and then some other guys added in with unique routes and personalities. I mean ideal scenario is they're all unique, but I guess I could see people saying for example, they like the look of Finn but wish he was more like Henri's route. So this way you get a little choice if you want Henri's route because you can pick between Chen/Jude/Lyle as well.

Kelly picks Finn and I am curious how this is gonna go because he clearly only sees her as a friend and I don't know how Kelly is gonna react. Like are they gonna make her blow up or she's just gonna be passive aggressive or like hold it all in if/when he eventually rejects her? even though she's an old islander, she's kind of a clean slatebc we saw so little of her in S4.

Why mention the hideaway and then cut to a girls chat lol literally just switch the order.

So I had MC and Chen go to the hideaway and I roll my eyes every time that box shows up. And then oh what do you know there's an argument outside do you think we're gonna have to pay gems to hear about the drama we conveniently weren't there for? 😑

not the shower scene again and Finn rejects me noooo my MC is messy on purpose this time

I think there might be no casa this season? just based on the leaks about islander names and also there's no casa in the irl love island all stars so I guess??

Then someone's getting dumped and I can't remember if it was individual islanders or a couple but doesn't matter, we all know who ghe disposable islanders rn are and it's the two guys you didn't pick and Melissa and Kat. I actually don't know which is more likely to leave. Again, could be couples or individual islanders. i could see them doing the bottom two couples and then the safe guys choose a girl to stay and the safe girls choose a guy to stay, if the game wants a specific storyline for either Kat or Melissa, otherwise they're just gonna merge. If for some reason you don't get a choice, I could see them taking away Melissa's partner so she has more of an excuse to drive apart Hamish and Natasha since it seems like that storyline isn't finished (versus Kat and Finn may be done soon). And for similar reason I could see Kat being finished and she gives one last blessing to Finn and Kelly's relationship. Unless they're dragging out her story longer.

in conclusion, I've already committed to playing this season if not for the story, then to see what Stefan looks like, so if you see me liking posts about how this season sucks and someone else didn't finish it don't @ me 😂😂😂

[imagoddamnonionmason]

Since you’ve got some time, I’m gonna ask you a quick question about c!Annika and Keith;

What do you think they’d argue about the most, regarding their jobs? I mean at the end of the day, Keith’s got the final say, and she respects him enough not to be herself (as in jump him or something), but it doesn’t mean Annika’s not gonna go down without a fight.

ALSO THIS IS KINDA UNRELATED BUT How does Keith’s trauma impact his relationships with the people around him, and the thoughts he has surrounding those people? Does he ever, god forbid, cry about it or anything?

Hello - I was going to have answered this sooner but I ended up having to help a friend out 'cause of some stuff that came up. Now I'm back home, I can dedicate that spare time I had ;u;

Ok, so, I reckon they would mostly argue about who to delegate missions out to - as Annika would be Keith's best operator and most trusted, she is almost always the first person that would come to mind for him. But, sometimes, there is need for a little more stealth and little less destruction. He knows she is capable of it, but sometimes he questions whether she wants to be capable of being stealthy.

I can imagine that maybe they're in a briefing, they're talking about a new contact or discussing a new piece of intel, just something that might given the faction the upper-hand in their endeavour to achieve the goals of the original Perseus. For the first time in a while, the first operator out of his mouth to set on this task isn't Annika. Perhaps she would be annoyed he's trusting someone else with it? Maybe it's someone she would have chosen to be the last person suited to the task. You can bet that she'd call him out on his decision if she thought it stupid, maybe even in front of people.

Keith wouldn't like that.

He appreciates that she'll have an opinion and if she disagrees, he'd gladly hear her out, but don't undermine him.

They'd probably hash it out privately, discuss why they chose or don't choose that operator. After all, he trusts her opinion and instinct, but like you say, he is also in charge. He'll take her considerations on board and might revise the plan.

I think this would also count for actually devising plans, discussing tactics - Keith prefers the covert, the stealth, the working in the shadows and being secretive. He'd rather be the kind of person who sneaks in and out without a trace - he worked as a mole for the better part of his time in the faction, so he's used to that. Whereas Annika is a little more... explosive, should we say XD their ways of approaching things might cause some arguments. Again, as a leader and his top operator, they're able to compromise if compromise can be achieved, or respect the decision made despite disagreeing.

With regard to his trauma?

That is a superb fucking question. I love it.

So, Keith's trauma is centred around both of his parents, but mainly his father and his treatment of him.

Because of his mother's intermittent apathy and then babying of him (mostly in a very mocking way when he'd get upset about his father's treatment), Keith actually resents women if they remind him of her. As a general rule, though, and this is probably due to how his mother acted and treated him growing up, he'd come to believe that women are only good for a limited number of things - pretty sexist, tbh. Sees them probably as weaker than him in more ways than one etc.

Don't get me wrong, there are very few women that would be the exception to the rule, but generally he regards women very poorly.

The biggest trauma, though, is his father.

Because of how his father treated him, alienated him, made Keith feel like his very existence was baseless and unfortunate, he grew up chasing after validation and support to the most harrowing extremes. Hell, wanting acceptance for who he was literally pushed him into accepting terrorist ideology and giving up on the country he was born in.

But it also left much deeper scars.

Any male that might step in as a father figure and show support could easily exploit Keith as he would be blinded by that broken inner child begging for acceptance. Perseus could have patted him on the shoulder, told him 'good job' and he would have gladly burned down the entire world to hear it again. It would be the same for other males that might show a smidgeon of acceptance, that take notice of him trying his best to 'do right by his roots'. It's fucking wild, but he'd probably have that annoying little brother relationship with people like Stitch.

On the other hand, Keith would literally murder a guy for treating him even a fraction like what his father did. You have a mercenary that makes a snide comment about him? Keith would see that as them calling him weak, seeing him as an outsider, and he wouldn't hesitate to walk over an sock the guy, maybe even something more violent.

Keith is capable of causing someone the worst kind of torturous harm if they cross him in a way that reminds him of that deep-seated trauma. It's probably best to just leave him to it.

Keith also has cried about it, especially when he was younger, until one day he decided to stop.

"Men don't cry." He'd think. "Men do not cry."

essentially, he turned his emotions off. They didn't really serve him.

Any emotion you see if probably fake, unless you can work past that barrier and wiggle your way deep into his conscience.

[thatgirl4815]

Gloomy ramble ahead, sorry! The only thing giving me hope right now is that in literally the first millisecond of the extended ep 8 preview, when Ray asks if they can still be friends, he really doesn't look happy. It's not being played as a 'come on now, let's all get along' moment, he doesn't look flippant or sulky or whiny - he looks desperate. I think strangely enough what's got me most down about the Ray/Mew development is that it makes Boston appear to be right about Ray's motivations in ep 6, and yet I genuinely don't think that's why Ray told Mew about the cheating, and I still believe Ray was being honest when he said he didn't expect to get anything out of it, and that in that moment he really was removing himself from the whole equation. So in that respect it feels like a massive step backwards (though I do understand the view that for Ray/Sand to ultimately pan out, this is something that needs to happen, otherwise the spectre of Mew and what ifs would always loom over them). And as much as everyone talks about Ray not sparing Sand a moment's thought as soon as Mew opens up, it's equally true that when Ray is spending time with Sand, he doesn't appear to be giving Mew a moment's thought either, until he's forcibly reminded of him (ending of eps 3 and 5). So is he just super good at compartmentalising? Does he just grab onto any affection offered to him at any given moment? I think the cutting/editing of scenes is making me feel more wary about the outcome than I otherwise would be because I'm feeling acutely conscious of how many eps are left and how much (or little) screentime Sand/Ray (and Sand on his own) have had of late, and I very much DO want them to have a happy (or at least open but pointing that way) ending, and a LOT needs to happen (Ray getting over Mew, Sand's ex, Ray realising how he feels bout Sand and making up for his behaviour, Ray accepting he has a substance abuse problem and wanting (and hopefully getting) help for it) before that can be a possibility, and with the screentime ratio the way it has been, at this rate I don't see how they could fit it all in in a satisfactory manner. But I still want to believe! I'm still holding out for a finale timeskip wherein Sand picks Ray up from rehab and whisks him off to Chiang Mai so the series can end with them sipping non-alcoholic beverages beneath the stars!

I am clinging desperately to the hope that Sand and Ray will be together happily in the end. I do remember one interview/livestream (?) where Khaotung mentioned that everyone will come to terms with their true feelings. So that alone is giving me hope, and I'm going to choose to believe that's in relation to Ray's feelings for Sand.

About Boston seemingly being proven right...I agree with you that I don't think Ray was telling Mew the truth because he thought it would increase his chances of being with Mew (I'm sure that occurred to him, but I don't think it was his primary motivator). Tbh, I think Ray would have survived in the friendzone with Mew, and I think he'd even started to resign himself to it, until Mew opened up that possibility. That's the most important thing in my mind: Mew is the one who brought up the state of their relationship, not Ray. Ray wasn't going to push it until Mew gave him the opportunity to ask if they could be something more.

Another thing giving me hope is as you mentioned; we've seen this dynamic play out pretty often. It's certainly not ideal, but if Ray wasn't in a relationship with Mew at any point, I truly don't think he would ever be able to move on from him. He might come close, but there would always be a part of him harboring that unrequited crush, wondering what could've been. It's interesting to me also that Ray's crush seems to go back to Mew 'saving his life,' when in fact Sand has also saved his life on multiple occasions (different situations, but the effect is similar). I do understand that the situation with Mew 2 years ago lingers with Ray so much because in it, Ray seemed to be making the conscious deciding to end his own life.

And yeah, Ray doesn't look pleased in the Ep8 preview. Not at all. Which begs the question: If Ray really was so head-over-heels for Mew, why would he care who Sand is involved with? I think his possessiveness is about more than just egotism.

I do think Ray is so desperate for affection that it made it easy for him to develop feelings for Sand. But I also don't think that is the only reason why he appears to be all-in on Sand whenever they're alone together. It's a catalyst for those feelings to develop, but I don't think it tells the full story (or at least, I'd like to hope it doesn't).

Finally, this ep seemed most focused on Mew's revenge plot, which might mean that the next ep will be devoted to the other characters. Again, I'm just clinging onto what Khao said about the characters working through their feelings. (But if they do not go to Chiang Mai together in the end, that will be a giant missed opportunity imo haha.)

[kikyan]

Yandere Gray Fullbuster

Honestly these may sound bland, but this is one of those characters that unless I write out a scenario/drabble, he won’t sound that intriguing. If that makes sense....? Anyways, please enjoy! 

These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these are 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such!

Overprotective, stalker, and possessive. I truly am afraid I will butcher and misinterpret his character, but these are the vibes I get. Unlike Natsu who is a lot more childlike and tends to joke a lot, Gray sticks to a more serious behavior. Now mind you, I did read the manga and finished it but that was back in middle school. . .so I may get a few things wrong, feel free to correct me if needed! Spoilers for the most recent season I think? I completely forgot why he did it, but he infiltrated that villain group and just outright left Juvia. Yeah, it was a shitty thing to do, but he did it with the idea of protecting her (but also at Erza’s request). He’s the type to do things himself and keep you in the dark.

Definitely overprotective. Gray cares for his guildmates (seen plenty of times) and truly wants the best for them. Despite the occasional trash talk, for his guild he’ll sacrifice everything. With his S/O, I like to think he’ll do the same. Not afraid to stand up for them in public, but prefers a more secluded way of helping. If you ever go on a job, he’ll offer to accompany you but if you choose to decline he’ll respect that. He will also follow you and stay hidden, possibly dealing with villains in the background ensuring your mission goes smoothly. The type to offer to walk you home, “I walk by that way anyways, it’s not trouble at all.” He’ll never admit that he already secretly follows you to make sure nobody comes after you!

Tying in with his stalking abilities, he acts like your shadow. It’s more of a precaution, but he can’t help following you around. When you leave the guild after work and start making your way home, he’s there ready to make sure you get there safely. On your way to hang out with someone? He’ll follow you around as well! If by any chance you manage to catch him, he’ll simply brush it off and say that he’s following a lead on a job and walk away from you. This ties in with his possessiveness, if he ever needs a person to go on a job with, he’ll ask you. If Natsu ever were to flirt with you (not like this man can flirt) or anyone (Loke tbh) for that matter, he’d initiate the fight. You’re his and he’s not afraid to claim. I know these headcanons sound very plain but he’s not a scary yandere. I’d say a 6/10.

In the end, you matter to him. Your happiness matters as well as your safety, he truly does care for you. If you were to ask him for help, who is he to deny? Gray is a man of morals but I believe he’s willing to toss some aside to ensure your safety. If you already were in a relationship with him, he’s attached by the hip. He’s always there, he’s not too big on PDA but having an arm around your waist is something up his style. The type to ruffle your head, the type to flick your forehead when you say something stupid, the type to smile at you before leaving after he said something cheesy. It will make sense when I write him I swear.

[sarah-cam]

What other songs on TTPD do you think are Bonrad??

okay i’ll do what i did for 1989 so this list goes from 'the entire song fits them so perfectly it hurts' to 'most/some of the song fits but i'm still sobbing' to 'this specific lyric punched me in the face'

most of these are about their break-up era re: conrad’s self-sabotaging and belly’s inability to get over conrad while she’s with someone else… also tbh much of this album is more 🪼 with all of the allusions to cheating and toxic relationships lmao

the alchemy, so high school, fresh out the slammer, guilty as sin, i hate it here, i look in people’s windows, fortnight, the tortured poets department, the albatross, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, the prophecy, down bad, so long london

once again choosing the best lyrics from each

1. the alchemy

This happens once every few lifetimes These chemicals hit me like white wine What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever end I circled you on a map I haven't come around in so long But I'm making a comeback to where I belong Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

2. so high school

I feel so high school every time I look at you I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me No one's ever had me, not like you You knew what you wanted and boy you got her

3. fresh out the slammer

But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now pretty baby I'm runnin' back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again All those nights you kept me going Swirled you into all of my poems Now we're at the starting line, I did my time Now pretty baby I'm running to the house you still wait up and that porch light gleams To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake Here at the park where we used to sit on children's swings wearing imaginary rings

4. guilty as sin?

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind One slip and falling back into the hedge maze, oh what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name Building up like waves crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin? If it's make believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow? What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me, religiously

5. i hate it here

All you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize You see I was a debutant in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside If comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck Now that I know what's what I hate it here (jeremy) so I will go to secret gardens (conrad) in my mind I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here I'm lonely but I'm good, I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose This place made me feel worthless Lucid dreams like electricity, the currents flies through me And in my fantasies I rise above it And way up there, I actually love it

6. i look in people’s windows

I had died the tiniest death, I spied the catch in your breath North bound I got carried away as you boarded your train south A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing You had stopped and tilted your head, I still ponder what it meant now I tried searching faces on streets, what are the chances you'd be downtown? Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only" I look in people's windows in case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time

7. fortnight

And for a fortnight there we were forever Run into you sometime, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her And for a fortnight there we were together Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater Now at you're at my mailbox, turned into good neighbors My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight

8. the tortured poets department

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me So tell me, who else is gonna know me? At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finder And put it on the one people put wedding rings on And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding

9. the albatross (role-reversal)

They tried to warn him her about her him Cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you She's He's the albatross, she he is here to destroy you So I crossed my thoughtless heart, spread my wings like a parachute I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know looks now more like an angel I'm the life you chose and all this terrible danger

10. my boy only breaks his favorite toys

Oh, here we go again, the voices in his head Called the rain to end our days of wild My boy only breaks his favorite toys I'm queen of sand castle he destroys He saw forever so he smashed it up Just say when, I'd play again He was my best friend, down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend than with all the kens Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart Left all these broken parts Told me I'm better off, but I'm not

11. the prophecy

Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again And it was written, I got cursed like Eve got bittem Oh, was it punishment? Oh, still dream of him

12. down bad

Show me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from For a moment I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad crying at the gym

13. so long london

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

bonus🪼: florida!!! (belly burying herself in her new relationship), i can fix him (no really i can) (spoiler alert no she can’t), the smallest man who ever lived (cheater alert!!), chloe or sam or sophia or marcus (cheater alert!!), the black dog (cheater alert!!)

[dogydayz]

Something I really really love specifically about Shadow, as a character, is his entire.... like. Thing. Who he is. Who he becomes. Like, ignoring more recent incarnations of him, he's such a fucking cool and inspiring character.

Hear me out. His whole story is insanely fucking tragic, every part of what he was meant to be, why he was created, etc., has been tugged back and forth between people and groups. Some want him as a weapon, when he wasn't designed to be like that, and his original purpose is now seemingly long gone to him as the one he was supposed to protect was killed just to try to save him. It was his for him to be made that an ancient and devastating hive mind of aliens tried to take over the fucking planet. It was because of events tied to him that the sweet man who made him went fucking insane in the end. His entire existence has caused, either in his own eyes or according to others, pain and destruction for the world he wishes to protect because of a promise he made to the one he believes he'd "failed".

Nearly all of the endings to Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) besides the true ending have something to do with him succumbing to those ideas and snapping, or succumbing to those ideas and being so depressed that in some of them he LITERALLY KILLS HIMSELF. Because he thinks it would be what would truly help others...

That many endings with that sort of theme really show just how much this shit affects him mentally, how much he suffers from it...

But what ACTUALLY happens? What does he ACTUALLY end up doing?

Well.

He essentially says "fuck you I'm NOT giving up, I don't fucking care if the world is against, I'm not giving up on it and I'm GOING to make a life for myself goddamn it!!!"

He's been hit and abused so many times, he's been thrown around by others, he's been used for others' benefits, he's been considered nothing more than a super-weapon... And yet he doesn't fucking stop. He doesn't let that crush him in the end, he doesn't let that destroy him. He gives a shit about people, a big shit about them. He loves so much that it's seemingly what gives him his ability to be so strong. He's chooses, instead of falling into a spiral of rage or self-loathing, to not only accept himself but EMBRACE himself, he loves the world and he loves life and he loves people and he REFUSES to give up on others. He isn't just doing it because of that promise anymore, it's not out of spite for those who hated him either, he genuinely fucking wants to help people, he is his own person yet he never tries to write off his past. He accepts it as part of what makes him himself, while still choosing his own life.

I don't know if my incoherent ramblings make much sense tbh, but I love him so fucking much because he's the goddamn type of inspiration that a LOT of people absolutely need to see. He's overcome his trauma, he's learned to be his own person, and not only that, but he's come to ACCEPT who he is because he's confident in himself, he KNOWS himself, and he believes in himself.

He's genuinely such a cool fucking character and I really really hope that more people see this side of him when they enter into the fandom, because even I had absolutely not known of any of this prior to me falling into it all.

I adore him with all of my heart.

[therk900]

⚡️April TC Challenge (Day 1 - 30)⚡️

1. Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? No I haven’t. I don’t have the courage to do it tbh. 

2. What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? When they first came to the school

3. Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? I was ok at their classes. My average last year for M’s class was an A+. i haven't gotten a grate yet for his class yet this year For B’s class was a C+ and for S’ class, it was a B+. So I was average, I guess. N and A aren't really teachers, but they are in a way

4. How do you feel about your age gap? For the gap between B, N and I, I’m sad about it since it’s 15-16 year age gap. For the gap between S and I however, it’s better since it’s 10 years and I’m ok with that. with A an I, it’s a good age gap for me. With M and I, he is WAY older than me, so I’m sad

5. Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? S with his nickname I call him. M gives me more attention in a way, and he helps me more. A has physically told my mum that i'm his favourite!

6. Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? I haven’t noticed anything yet

7. What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? Flowers! We can’t go wrong with flowers!

8. Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? A and I talk about school all the time, since he went to the same school as me, so he knows most of the teachers there. N sometimes talks about what it was like when he was at school.

9. Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them? M and N both have a wife. A has mentioned his girlfriend but it was early last year. Not sure if he is still in one.

10. What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them? For M, N, and A, The summer holidays! I didn’t see them for 2 months. For S, a whole month. With B, 5 months

11. What do other people usually think about them? They think they are cool!

12. Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use? Most of the time, I just check in on them, see how they are and see what they are doing for the rest of the day. Whenever I talk to S and when i used to talk to B, I tried and drag on the conversation by asking stupid things. 

13. Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about? S likes playing netball and B liked playing games. N likes playing the guitar

14. What is a skill you really wish your TC had? I have no idea

15. Which MBTI personality do you think they are? (If you don't do MBTI, which Hogwarts House do you think they would be in?) M and B would be in Gryffindor and S would be in Hufflepuff. A and N are definitely Ravenclaws 

16. If you could go back in time and choose, would you still choose to develop feelings for your TC? Maybe. Depends on how far back

17. If it was the last time you would ever be able to see your TC, what is one thing you would never leave without saying to them? Maybe just a simple goodbye! 

18. When was the first time you cried because of them? I haven't really cried because of them yet

19. How well do you think you know them? I think I know them pretty well! I know them better than other students tbh

20. Do you ever lie to them? About what? Nope! Why would I have a reason to lie?

21. What is the longest time you have spent together with them? i spent 3 days with M once on a school camp. with the rest, a whole day

22. If you have had other TCs in the past (or right now), how are they similar to or different from your current (or primary) TC? Well, I have MULTIPLE TCs. The main one is M. There is this other teacher who we will call G. We are close, and we met because he was helping me to calm me down while i was having a panic attack last year

23. Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around? Yes! B usually wore formal clothes but he doesn’t wear a blazer sadly. He replaces it with his blue jumper. Here and there, he wore casual clothes and it often catches me so off guard. It’s similar with S. He is like B with his clothes, but he wears a green, black or light brown jumper. i remember seeing him in casual clothes once, but that was the only time.

24. When was the last time they made your heart thump? Whenever they talk to me

25. How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious? i have no idea. maybe talk to me about it or comfort me?

26. What is the best dream you have had of them? Once I dreamt that I was marrying S one time. Another time I had a full on family with B

27. What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them? i don't know...

28. Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of? I think S or another teacher i know brings me up to other teachers that they shares an office with. I know this because there are teachers that I’ve never had before that know who i am and they all share an office with S and the other teacher.

29. Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you? Yes, they do seem to be romantic people. I suck at being romantic. I always find myself laughing when i try and attempt to be romantic!

30. How have they changed since you two first met? How have you changed? Yes. S has become more innocent!

[happyinjection]

Episode 8 left me with SO MANY thoughts and they’re all over the place. Great episode with gorgeous action scenes (which got me hooked to the show in the first place). Please don't mind me, I need to rant for a bit.

The lore dump that is Finn’s past is not entirely unexpected, but to see it confirmed is... whoa. So now we know that he did lose his family in a house fire involving a “knight” in black. Perhaps the knight is a player too? But why is he targeting Finn’s family, and how did Finn survive the strike? Did someone come to save him, or is his survival also part of his “destiny”? (since he’s clearly not just some guy)

Finn’s brother is still nowhere to be seen and hidden on purpose. But Tilt’s appearances in this ep is basically a nod toward the theory that he is indeed Finn’s biological brother, or at the very least, is watching over him, right? Iris (the girl from episode 1! finally) shows up as well, and she does take part in protecting Finn from Bobby, is it possible that she’s receiving orders from Tilt?

And this. This shot has been bugging me since last night.

Whose hand is this? The recurrent appearance of Mr. Apple is getting sus too (he’s so funny tho). Is he working with a player? Has he been watching over Finn? The glove has a heart symbol on it so it must be a Heart card, right? And heart card = abilities related to body manipulation so is it really what I’m thinking? Is Mr. Apple a shapeshifter maybe? Could it be he’s actually Tilt himself?!

I also noticed that they really love putting emphasis on how Chris likes to claim himself as Finn’s “trusted older bro” huh (I can make a compilation tbh). I wonder if Tilt (or anyone else in that matter) turns out to be Finn's real biological brother, are they setting up for “choose between your actual older bro or Chris!” situation?

And if Chris turns out to be working with the Klondikes or is betraying Finn in some way… gah (I mean, Chris is technically responsible for dragging Finn into this whole business, putting aside the fact that Finn likely has been involved for a long time without himself realizing).

There’s also Bobby playing not one, but two cards! In an official tweet, and I think also in one of the early episodes (was it Bernard?) it is stated that a player can only play a maximum of one card. How does Bobby manage to break that rule? Is it a something developed by the Klondikes? Is it actually possible to do so from the beginning, but with fatal side effects? (btw the Klondikes look a lot like a cult huh lmao... Ban, you scare me)

Frankly “X-hand” is a ridiculous name but oh well. I guess it is possible to play more than one card as long as it follows the rule of poker hands? Bobby’s cards are “a pair”.... right? Also now I’ve got an idea of what Ban probably meant by “X-blind” in episode 5, perhaps it is when one person play all 52 cards at once? Just like the boy-king in Fourland history.

Lindsey basically saying “I’m happier if you don't come back here at all” when Finn has given his everything for Sunfields is just brutal... even more so when you realize that Leo has in fact said the same thing in the side story but now that Lindsey has confirmed it... pain.

Speaking of Finn and Chris, I also have a lot of thoughts about their relationship but I think I'm saving that for another post. For now let’s put out that martial arts training short story quick before next week so we can all scream together (please scream with me).

[my-own-lilypad]

Armie Hammer was legaly cleared by the LADA in May. So in the legal sense he's innocent. But leaving this aside, if you dislike this man so much, why are you following charmie accounts and liking charmie posts? We complain about Tim being a hypocrite but it gets undedmined if we're hypocrites ourselves don't you think? There's lots of Tim stan accounts that you could follow that also hate Hammer and yet you choose to primarly follow Charmies, curious.

I was hoping to avoid getting into a conversation about Armie Hammer, but you have knocked on my door so here we go.

First of all, I was not aware that I was "primarily" following charmie accounts. Since tim started dating kj, I started having conversations with people who hated her and/or thought it was pr, two of those people who come to mind now I know are charmies, and I had public discussions on here with them about the situation and we agreed to respect each others views re the charmie situation. I explained at length about my point of view in those exchanges, I'm not going to repeat it all here, the end result was that we remained in contact. I wouldn't call that primarily following charmie accounts. The people I have the most contact with on tumblr are not in anyway charmies. But you wouldn't know that because you are not running this blog. I am.

Secondly, I may give my opinion freely on certain subjects but it's not always set in stone. It changes sometimes on certain subjects, if that comes across as hypocrisy, I'm not particularly bothered tbh, and I will continue to call Tim out on it for the simple reason that I think Tim has used and continues to use the media to lie to us and be fake. That annoys the hell out if me and I will call him out on it, if I feel the need. Like I have said a few times before, if you don't like it, hit block.

Now we come to the main point, Armie Hammer being found not guilty. I wonder if it's the fact that I don't think he is innocent that bothers you more than anything else. Armie stated that there was a power imbalance in his relationships. That does not sit right with me at all, I do not hear consent in that, I here coercion. And coercion is against the law where I'm from and you can be prosecuted for it. A woman, a few years back, was acquitted of killing her husband (she killed him) for this reason. If you do not understand the effects that an imbalance of power in a relationship can have on someone, then maybe you shouldn't be defending them.

I think he is guilty. Is he guilty of all the crimes that he has been accused of? I don't know, and you know what, neither do you.

[grievedifferent]

What relationships do your characters have with death, in so far as to be what do they think happens, do they fear it, is it often on their mind or do they think it’ll probably be a relief? For specifically characters like Josh or Miles, who don’t really have a “good” ending.

josh was raised in what i keep as a somewhat ambiguously religious home, whereas miles i think was probably raised heavily christian.

bordering into a headcanon here ... for miles, his relationship with religion is complicated, so his views on death are equally so. honestly, i've been going over the relationships miles might have with his siblings and parents, which i think he's honestly sort of "the black sheep" of the family, seen primarily as bullheaded and borderline disrespectful. he doesn't give me "close to my family" vibes ... whereas this contrasts josh extremely so, who is very close to his family and is very family-oriented. miles is on his own, he doesn't "need" anyone, but josh needs people, so much so that the loss of people (an almost medicine for him, or at least his most copiously used coping skill) completely deteriorates him. miles might bitch and moan, but he'll move on usually, he accepts "shit happens", whereas josh has to literally make it right.

josh has always had a connection to death through fantasy, and i mean this by saying he was raised hollywood. his dad is primarily into filming horror (we assume that's basically his entire catalogue, maybe a stray drama here or there), thus josh is sort of "desensitized" to "death" in a very "hollywood" way. gore doesn't scare him (i choose snakes over anything else), the guts and blood don't bother him, i don't think he's very scared of bugs or rodents tbh (going around in that hotel beneath the lodge? yeah, there's bugs and rats for sure down there ... and he just gives me "put bugs on hannah as kid to scare her" vibes if he's melting army dudes with chris), i think that josh needs certain triggers to be "scared". he's also raised in such a weird age of the internet that we have to also consider. miles is also older than josh canonically speaking, so he has more life experience.

here's the thing: josh has seen a lot of fake deaths pre-hannah and beth, whereas miles was reporting on wars. to josh, his sisters just "went away and never came back, assumed rightly dead". before UD, he doesn't "see death" in the way miles might have.

now, we don't know how involved miles is as a journalist, he could be totally at home, but he gives me "out in the field" vibes, which we can safely assume since he literally does this in-game. that's why he's there. we could also say he "gets more out in the field" by himself independently, but i don't know, i can see him traveling for work even if hired by another company. he's got the perfect life for it being single, not close to his family, etc. he's got endless time for that sort of thing. but again, that's debatable, but miles is ultimately dealing with "real world tragedy and death", whereas josh is much more sheltered. josh is also mentally ill in ways miles is not. they sort of compare and contrast immensely well tbh.

because of this, i think miles has less of a "fear of death" and more of a fear of "running out of time" with the exterior of "death is coming". he's just like that. he accepts death by the end of outlast in a way humans that have truly "only been through it" really can. he is exhausted in all ways, but makes it to the end knowing he will not leave. that says something, i think.

whereas josh? he fears death. fully. he does not want to die. he doesn't want anyone to die. ever. ever. yet ... josh is always thinking about death, either his own, his sisters, or fake death (via the movies).

i think not knowing what happens after is truly terrifying for josh, more after hannah and beth because ... where are they? yet he's also suicidal, so there's that. but suicidal doesn't often mean lack of a fear of death, which we also have to keep josh's mental states in mind. such as his manic states, his mood swings, his lack of being able to see reality, his presumed hallucinations that are very much validated by the game (thus we can assume were a symptom before the game, only agitated by the situations he is presented with ... why else would he assume hannah's creature form isn't real? he knows he sees things that are not there, he's even (imo) trained himself to ignore these things in his daily life). i think in a way, josh can romanticize the idea of death via music, writing, etc ... but actual death? out of his control especially? it's too much.

interesting enough, you didn't quite ask, but yagami fears death extremely. we see this in the manga more than the anime where he begs ryuk to let him live, crying even.