#tbh don't be surprised. i bet blade and rei know what EVERYONE'S dicks look like

[fisheito]

Heeyyy Fiishhhh

So I decided to make a list of how Nu Carnival boys would react to unsolicited dick pics in their mail!

(yes those have to be what, photographs or portraits teehee)

Yakumo: loses his mind thinking that someone could have seen him hold the picture, drops it on the ground as if burnt, quickly snatches it back... (It stays in his panties drawer, (un)safely hidden because he can't make himself destroy it

Olivine: takes it quickly and hides it, looks at it in detail in his room after sermon, does a few *offerings*, jerks off to the memory every now and again (destroys the thing)

Garu: woofs! And goes show it to Eiden

Blade: it takes him a millisecond to determine it's not Darling on the portrait, he sends it in the trash

Kuya: sneers and burns it with his magic

Quincy: leaves it in his mailbox. Does he have one? Idk idk

Edmond: is very much scandalised, destroys the shtick immediately!!!!!🔥🔥🔥 Then thinks about it during lonely nights on patrol (would it be good enough? Too small? Too thin?)😅

Aster: sends out Morvay to find the owner and PUNISH HIM, no one dares messing with the great vampire tycoon!!!!!!

Morvay: his alone time is interrupted by a mad Aster who makes him do the unimaginable and actually go find that dick he's just gotten in the mail?! How come???? (The dick owner is going to come more times than is healthy ☺️ Morvay will make sure of that)

Rei: while he is trying to decide whether the person who sent him the tasteless thing is good enough to use as experiment material, the dick owner gets ambushed by Morvay AND TOTALLY BECOMES WORTH EXPERIMENTING ON yay

Dante: seethes (it's been days, the portrait is long burnt to dust and ashes)

Eiden: laughs and starts reminiscing about the olden days on twitter and such

the DEDICATION of someone sending and delivering a dick pic in kleinverse is ... something to be admired you gotta PAINT that shiet no instant snaps someone gotta DRAW THAT PEEN OUT in METICULOUS DETAIL wrap it up. maybe in a nice lil envelope with ribbons so it gets past the messengers wait for it to physically arrive at someone's doorstep and hope that no one other than the addressee opens the mail