#taylor told me to make it so i did and once again i share with my tumblrinas

[bontentrio]

ATEEZ AS TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS P.2

[MAKNAE LINE] all (separated) x gn reader

read HYUNG LINE here

tw: tooth rotting fluff in san and mingi’s parts + nsfw(-ish?) on wooyoung (implied oral sex, reader recieving) and jongho’s (reader rides jongho’s thigh)

a/n: my god i finally got around to finish this draft!! i am actually kinda obsessed with jongho’s one so i miiiiight make a nsfw one shot based on it (keyword might)

SAN - SWEET NOTHING

san went through a tiring day, from early dance practices to fansigns and then late night recordings. normally these days wouldn’t bother him at all, but sometimes they did take a toll on him, making him feel mentally and physically exhausted. he just wanted to go back home and rest with you between his arms. 

san found you in the kitchen, softly humming a song while you prepared some midnight tea. you were wearing one of his shirts that looked a little too big on you, and your hair was messy, yet he thought you never looked more beautiful. he hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms around your middle and hiding his face between your neck and shoulder, kissing the spot. “san! you surprised me” you squealed, nearly dropping the cup. he muttered some sort of apology, that got lost between his kisses. “tea?” you asked, grabbing his favorite cup, not even waiting for his reply. you just knew it. 

san once told you about how he used to write songs back when he was a trainee, but eventually stopped doing so to focus on his dancing and singing. he remembers your surprised face, and how you took his hands in yours excitedly as you exclaimed “you should start writing again!”. with your encouragement, and a little help from hongjoong, he started composing whenever he had the time. on some occasions he shared lyrics with you, and each and every time you would look at him like he put the stars in the sky “you are so talented, sannie”, you said, followed by a kiss on his cheek. 

san found himself sitting on the sofa, with you cuddling right on his side as he mindlessly wrote about his feelings about the exhausting day he had, as per your suggestion when asked for inspiration. he had made mistakes while practicing the new choreography for the upcoming comeback, making him feel extra frustrated for the rest of the day, which affected his mood at the fansign. he didn’t want to let anyone down, so he kept thinking of ways to improve his dancing skills. it’s like he was hearing the same voice in his head from when he was a trainee, the same voice that said “you should be doing more” each time he failed. but, as if you could hear the same voice in his mind, you turned to him, setting aside the notebook and pen on his hand for a moment. “tomorrow is a new day, san. it’s going to be okay”. san nodded in response, closing his eyes as he rested his head on your chest. 

san finished the song. he wrote it as a ballad, about how exhausting it is sometimes to wake up, but how rewarding it feels when you come back home and find your person, softly humming in the kitchen while making midnight tea. about how, despite the pressures from the outside world, he could just be himself around them, admitting that he is, in fact, too soft for it all. you teared up after reading the lyrics (i would too). 

MINGI - THE LAKES

mingi is actually a private person, who often indulges in side quests from his main story as an idol. he tries to do whatever he wants while avoiding the media, not finding it necessary to share every aspect of his personal life unless he decides to. because of this, sometimes he feels like he “doesn’t fit” with the rest of the idols, i mean, if you don’t want attention why become one in the first place? 

mingi knew it was controversial, yet he hoped his fans would understand. at least, he knew you did, often supporting his decision of randomly taking off to some random place whenever he had a break. he liked bringing you with him in said trips, not only because you’re his lover and favorite person, but also because you inspire him in more ways than you can imagine. you’re his muse, the only person who can inspire him to make a thousand different songs about one single thing. he could pull out a ten minute song about the way your eyes looked under the sunlight, or how dark they seemed after a heated kiss. or about how easy it was for you to make him smile, even after having a rough day. or how tempting your lips looked after applying gloss, or after waking up in the morning after an intense night of lovemaking. 

mingi could hear the sound of your giggles as you excitedly talked to your friend on the phone, about the upcoming trip he had planned for you two now that he’s on a break after touring. “no, i don’t know where exactly he is taking me, but isn’t that exciting? i just know the weather is going to be hot during the day so i’m packing light” you said as he entered the room. you were throwing clothes all over the bed, matching them and making outfits for the week. “oh hi love!” you said when you saw him. “mingi please tell me where you’re taking my friend, i’m dying to know!” your friend exclaimed on the phone, earning a chuckle from both of you. “no way, it’s a surprise for a reason”. 

mingi took your hand, leading you towards the lake by the cabin he rented for the week. the sun was setting in, painting the whole scenery in a golden color, and the breeze was light, merely messing your hair. the wet grass under your bare feet tickled. “it’s so pretty mingi! definitely worth the suspense” you said, leaning on him as he wrapped his arm around you, bringing you closer to kiss your forehead. 

you admired the view, while he admired you, his one and only muse, the one who will always inspire him. his patience was growing thin though, he just couldn’t wait to give you the small piece of jewelry that had been resting in his pocket for a month now. 

WOOYOUNG - I CAN SEE YOU

wooyoung watched you from across the hallway, as you took pictures with the members of your group by the stairs. for a moment, your eyes interlocked before you quickly averted your gaze, a soft blush quickly making its way to your cheeks. truth is, wooyoung has been obsessed with you ever since you met at a variety show. always so quick to continue his jokes, with that contagious laugh of yours and your charismatic aura. how your personality remained the same even after the cameras stopped rolling, walking up to him and indulging him in an entertaining conversation. 

wooyoung’s gaze followed your every move on the stage you were performing at, quickly becoming enamoured with the way your body moved to the beat of the song and the way your voice hit the high notes perfectly. despite the professional scene, he still felt sinful from the way he couldn’t stop himself from imagining you squirming underneath him while your melodic voice begged him for more. that was, until you caught his hungry gaze and smirked. in that moment, he knew he had to have you, professionalism be damned. 

wooyoung’s lips found yours as soon as he dragged you inside the usual empty room at the very back of the hallway. he managed to pin you against the wall while simultaneously locking the door, making sure the little affair you had been having for three months remained a secret. “i missed you wooyoung” you said in between kisses, pulling him closer to your body by the tie around his neck, as his hands traveled all the way to your ass. “me too” he muttered, before suppressing a moan when you pulled his hair lightly. 

wooyoung was having trouble keeping quiet, you just felt so perfect for him, so addictive. “w-wooyoung keep quiet, we were a- fuck- almost discovered by my manager last time” you managed to say in between moans and gasps. “and who’s fault was that, baby?” he counter-attacked, before biting your neck trying to muffle the sounds he was making. as if it was muscle memory, you threw his jacket on the floor and started working on the buttons on his shirt. “besides”, he started saying “it’s more fun this way, no?”. 

wooyoung’s lips traveled from your neck down to your collarbones and chest, as his own hands copied your actions from moments ago, undoing the complex top in which you performed. his lips kept going down, lower and lower, tickling your stomach and sides as your lower part burnt for him to touch you more. how ironic, as you had shushed him moments ago, now it was your turn to struggle with keeping quiet. wooyoung’s experienced hands started pulling down your pants along with your underwear, licking his lips as he admired the view. “i think this is fun” he muttered, before pressing a short but wet kiss where you needed him the most, “hiding away, the secrecy of it all-” another kiss. “the discreet glances-” lick. “it makes me want you even more”, he finished, before diving deeper.

JONGHO - SO IT GOES

jongho’s eyes landed on you the moment you entered the bar where your mutual friends decided to gather to celebrate the “moving voices” project. after working hard on each song you all performed around different cities, it was finally time to relax for a little bit.

jongho’s relationship with you was rather… complicated. he understood that both of you had responsibilities in your own respective groups, so most of the time everything was handled proffessionally. but sometimes, late at night as you both met up in the studio to rehearse a song you’ll be performing together, every line and boundary became a blur. neither of you knew who leaned in first, nor how you both ended up on the studio’s worn out couch moaning each other’s name as if it was part of the song and nothing else mattered.

jongho’s thoughts had been scrambled ever since, always hoping to whisk you away and make you his again and again. at such longing, he found his heart skipping when you’re gone. but it also skipped in your presence, specially when you sat so close to him he could smell your perfume.

jongho mentally counted every minute of the hour and a half that you spent at the bar, along with the number of times another guy made you laugh or blush. he found himself gritting his teeth and surpressing an immediately eye roll, covering it up with a sip from his drink and acting chill about it. hell, even hongjoong managed to get under his skin at some point, after making you blush by complimenting your voice throughout the project. after an hour and a half, he felt like he had enough. he placed his hand on your thigh, squeezing slightly in order to get your attention, and interlocked eyes. you seemed to understand what he wanted, because you fakingly started yawning and pretending you were tired from the day.

jongho offered to take you home, making all eyes fall on him. then you. and finally, his hand on your thigh. he noticed his captain surpress a chuckle, seeing right through the whole act. whether the others saw it too or not, he did not care, as you both said your goodbyes and left the bar.

jongho pressed you against the wall, his leg placed right between your legs as his thigh flexed against where you needed him the most. his lips never left yours since the second you entered your home, but as soon as a delicious moan left your lips, he lifted up his gaze and noticed the smudged lipstick you were wearing. he was sure it covered his face too, and couldn’t help but smirk at the sight.

jongho’s hands were placed on both sides of your hips, rocking you back and forth against his thigh, while managing to balance you against the wall. your moans only got louder as you felt a burning sensation on your lower stomach, and he genuinely thought that he could live like this forever. despite having been intimate not for too long, he quickly found out about the things you liked and didn’t, and he was surprised that you had the same understandment of him. it was like you both fit each other, like pieces falling right into place whenever you were together.

jongho wasn’t sure what this meant, nor where your relationship was headed, but he was ready to give himself entirely to you, he was ready to be yours to keep or lose.

[auroralwriting]

false god

spencer reid x fem!reader (18+)

religion's in your lips. even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love. inspired by false god by taylor swift. it is recommended you listen while you read, but not required

word count: 2.0k

warnings: sooo very 18+, where to begin heated makeout, soft and rough, switch!spence, switch!reader, smut, p-in-v, unprotected sex (don't do that), oral (fem rec), body worshipping, sort of porn without a plot, no use of y/n, very light choking, implied season nine-ish spencer, light hair tugging, multiple orgasms, praise, plot after porn, aftercare, fluff

Spencer thought you looked absolutely darling all dressed up for him. He loved when you did that. Anytime he took you out, you always dressed up to match the occasion.

Tonight was no different. Your little red slip dress and heels made you look like a pure angel sent down from heaven to grace him. He felt lucky to even breathe the same air as you, let alone date you.

The moment you'd arrived back to his apartment, his lips attached to yours eagerly. You shared the action, making sure to run your hands all over the top part of his body. His neck, chest, shoulders.

"You're the most transcendent, ethereal woman I've ever met." Spencer mumbled over your lips, the feeling of them ghosting over yours as he spoke sending shivers down your spine.

Your soft giggle in reply made Spencer feel like his legs turned into jelly. "You already won me over long ago, love. There's no need to try and win me over."

"I always want to win your heart, over and over again." Spencer replied, his touch ghosting over your cheek as he softly traced your skin. "I'm too lucky to not remind you every day that I'm so fucking grateful you choose me. You're too amazing to not be reminded of how gorgeous you are." Lips reattached as Spencer's hand began to ghost touches down your spine, causing you to arch into him. "I'm not a religious man in any sense, but I'd let you lead me with blind faith."

"Spencer," you groaned. "I need you."

Spencer pushed you against the wall, a soft thud from your body, but his hand was behind your head to protect it from any harm. "You're gonna get me, pretty girl. Let me have my time with you."

You felt encaged by his arms, leaving you nowhere to go even if you wanted to leave, which you didn't. Spencer’s lips trailed down your jaw, soft scratches from his teeth were soothed over by his tongue as you grasped for the back of his neck, drawing him impossibly closer to your body. His lips traveled to the low cut of your dress as he took his time observing you.

“This dress is beautiful,” Spencer remarked, “but it needs to come off.” Grabbing your hand, he lead you to the bedroom. His hands now at your hips, he sat you down and slowly knelt to the floor. With gentle hands, he began to take off your heels for you, kissing your legs as he worked. The action made your heart sing and your cunt ache.

“Such a gentleman,” You softly teased, grabbing the collar of his dress shirt lightly and pulling him back up to you. “Have I told you how much I like your shorter hair?”

Spencer gave a soft smile, “Seven times, this one being the eighth.”

“Well, I mean it every single time.” you replied.

“I know,” Spencer kicked off his shoes as you situated yourself back against the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Now, what was I about to do?”

Spencer’s teasing made you slightly frustrated, although you loved it too much to make him stop. “Take off my dress,” You half pleaded, half answered.

“That’s right, thank you, baby.” Spencer reached behind you to drag the zipper down your body. Once done, his fingers slowly made their way to the small straps, pulling them off your shoulders. The dress sagged, the top falling below your breasts. Spencer was urgent with his next movements, kissing greedily around your chest as you gripped his hair. “Oh, god, baby.” Spencer groaned. He loved it when you pulled his hair.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” You commented, tugging on his tie. Spencer nearly ripped his dress shirt, jacket, and tie off, along with his belt. “Thats better,” you smiled.

After another sweet kiss, Spencer began his previous actions, and slowly began to drag the dress off your body. You reached down to unbutton his pants, and he pushed them over his hips and kicked them off. You nearly made a joke about how you both matched finally, but Spencer was too eager to taste you.

Panties pulled down to your ankles, Spencer began kissing your thighs. “You’re so pretty. Every part of you, you’re so pretty.” He mumbled praises as he kissed you. “Love your body, love you.”

“Spence,” You whined, slowly raising your hips in desperation.

“I know, baby. I know, I got you.” Spencer assured. “Jus’ too pretty.”

After another minute of praises from the man, he pressed a hot kiss on your core. Slowly, his tongue dragged its way from your opening to your clit. A breathy, messy moan spilled from your lips, teetering Spencer’s last bit of self-control. He sucked on your clit, lapping around it with kitten licks like a madman. Your back arched as he grabbed your ankles, pushing them to his back to wrap you around him. “Oh, baby, oh,” you moaned.

“Taste so good,” Spencer praised as he inserted a finger into you, steadily pumping it. “You’re divine, angel. Absolutely divine.”

“More, please baby,” You called out, Spencer obliging to your need. He added a second finger, beginning to curl them right where you needed them the most. “Oh! Spencer!”

Spencer looked up at your with hazy eyes, “There, baby? Right there?”

“Fuck, right there!” You nodded, one hand grabbing the bed cover and the other tangling in Spencer’s free hand.

For Spencer, you looked like a creature straight from stories he’d read, or like some perfect girl made just for him. He loved the way your body reacted to him, how it felt like you were the only girl for him.

Spencer leaned down once more, lapping at your clit. “Oh, please don’t stop, please, please,” The begs tumbled from your lips, even if you knew Spencer wouldn’t stop. “‘S so good, so good,”

“Are you gonna come, baby?” Spencer asked, feeling your cunt tighten around his fingers. Hearing your reply, Spencer looked up to you. “Let go, sweet girl. Come for me,”

With one last harsh suck to your clit and a deep curl on his fingers, your orgasm hit you as Spencer watched, loving the way your face morphed from pleasure. He helped you ride it out, coaxing you back into reality.

“Good girl, so, so good for me.” Spencer leaned up to kiss you, softly smoothing down your hair as he did so.

“Spence, I wanna ride you.” Your words were words of begging, but your tone was firm. Spencer nodded quickly, wetting his lips with his tongue as you both traded places. While he moved, he slipped his boxers off. “Ready?” You asked.

“Please,” Spencer replied, intertwining a hand with yours as you readied his cock. Slowly, you sunk down onto it, moans spilling from both of your lips.

You let go of Spencer’s hand to place both of your palms on his stomach, lifting your hips just halfway off, and then back down at a tantalizing pace. “You feel so good,” you moaned. “Oh, I love you.”

“I love you t- oh!” Spencer moaned as you changed pace, slamming yourself down a little bit harder than before. “Shit, baby,” Spencer babbled, “y-you, oh, god. So warm, so good.” Your pace was now hard, lifting yourself almost off and then all the way back down. Spencer was an absolute mess of a man, his words coming out as babbles and incoherent, unstrung thoughts. “Kiss, wanna kiss you!” Spencer called out.

He sat up and you pushed your lips against his as his hands toyed with your breasts once more. “You’re so deep,” You moaned as Spencer pulled back quickly.

“Baby, I’m gonna come,” He managed to say as you felt his cock twitch inside you. “God, I’m coming!” His load was hot and nearly brought you to another orgasm as well. Spencer let his head fall on your shoulder as he pressed gentle kisses there. “Lemme give you another one, please?” He asked, softly leaving a bite on your shoulder.

“Yes, yes please.” You replied.

Once again, you both were flipped. Spencer carefully inserted the head of his cock, leaving your hips rolling. His plan wasn’t to just fuck you, no, he had one more thing to do before he could properly fuck you. He grabbed one of the pillows and lifted your hips, placing them strategically under. Finally, he pushed in, the angle allowing him to hit deeper places. You cried out from pleasure as he began slamming into you at a brutal place.

“Baby, ‘s too much!” You cried.

“You got it, it’s okay,” Spencer grunted, unrelenting with his pace. “You can take it, come on.”

For a moment, you thought you could take it, until his fingers found your clit again. It was still so sensitive from your last orgasm, making you explode in pleasure. It made you feel hot, even more turned on, and so extremely eager to come.

Spencer quickly grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as his pace. “Good girl, taking me so well. So good, honey.” Spencer praised.

After another minute of this, you genuinely were unable to form words. Moans spilled from your lips, along with broken vowels your brain was trying to form into words and sentences.

This was Spencer’s favorite thing to do. He made such soft love to you, but he loved to watch you go brain dead from his cock. He loved the way you drifted away because of him. Not for the power, no, but because he was the only one who could make you feel this good, and you both knew it.

Your words failed you as you tried to communicate that you were approaching your orgasm again. You gave a tight squeeze to Spencer’s hand, and he knew exactly what you were telling him.

“Come on, baby. Give me one more, just one more. Show me how good I make you feel.” Spencer urged as you felt yourself release for the second time of the night.

It was like you’d transcended to a whole new existence, only being brought back when you felt Spencer’s lips press small kisses to your cheek. You opened your eyes, immediately locking them with his.

“There’s my sweet girl,” Spencer lazily stroked circles on your cheek with a smile. “You okay?”

“Perfect,” you confirmed. “You’re so perfect.”

Spencer lightly laughed an exhausted, airy laugh. “Is now a good time to ask you if you wanted to move in with me?”

You smiled, “Ask me.”

“Please move in with me?” Spencer asked.

“How could I ever say no to you?” You answered as Spencer kissed you gently. “But we are not doing that now.”

Looking at the clock, Spencer sat you against the headboard. “You stay here, I’ll bring you some clothes and a makeup wipe. You just rest, love.” Spencer pressed a kiss to your head as you squeezes his hand, letting him retrieve your items.

Once he came back, already him his pajamas, he helped you change into yours which were just his clothes. As you removed your makeup, be carefully brushed through your hair to remove any and all tangles from your passionate sex.

You laid next to him in your newly-shared bed. The warm light from his nightstand illuminated both your faces perfect as you trailed a finger over his face with a feather light touch. Spencer just closed his eyes and sighed, sinking into your touch.

“I love you,” you said.

“I love you so much,” he replied.

The light clicked off, and together, you drifted to sleep, knowing you both were the luckiest people in the world.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Can you do Conrad with ‘’Is that my shirt?’’

This was the only gif I could find with this shirt...

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

It had been thirty minutes since you, Taylor, and Belly settled in front of the TV, yet the three of you couldn't come to a unanimous decision on which movie to watch. Well, truth be told, the indecision was mainly between you and Taylor. Belly was happily munching on popcorn, seemingly unfazed by the movie debate.

‘’Mamma Mia,’’ Taylor exclaimed, advocating for the musical movie choice once again.

However, you were quite tired of musicals and Taylor's less-than-perfect singing renditions, especially after enduring La La Land the night before. 

You shook your head. ‘’No, let’s watch 10 Things I hate about you.’’ 

It was one of your favorite movies. You weren’t a huge fan of rom-coms, but the romance was not too cheesy and the soundtrack was immaculate. Kat’s character was also iconic. You’ll never get tired of watching it.

But Taylor persisted, insisting that Mamma Mia would be a perfect summer movie. She looked to Belly for support and the look on Belly’s face told you you were about to lose this debate.

‘’I haven’t watched Mamma Mia in a long time…’’ 

Feeling somewhat defeated, you let out a sigh, realizing you were outvoted. ‘’Mamma Mia it is then,’’ you reluctantly agreed.

Taylor happily set up the movie, grinning and singing along to all of the songs. 

You were half way through it when the front door opened and the boys returned from their party, making a lot of noises as always. 

‘’Seriously, can you guys keep it down? We're trying to watch a movie here,’’ Taylor scolded them, clearly irritated by their untimely return.

‘’What movie?’’ Steven asked, making his way into the living room, seemingly eager to pester Taylor further.

‘’Oh, is that Mamma Mia?’’ Jeremiah’s face lit up, going off and belting one of the songs as he poured himself a glass of milk in the kitchen. 

You couldn't help but laugh at Jeremiah's enthusiasm. He truly was the life of the party. 

‘’It’s girls only, get out,’’ Taylor asserted, determined to keep their movie time uninterrupted.

‘’I want to watch it too,’’ Steven and Jeremiah protested, plopping themselves on the couch next to Belly and attempting to snatch the popcorn bowl from her.

‘’Absolutely not,’’ Belly retorted, holding onto the popcorn tightly, not willing to share.

Steven's attempt to mockingly tease her was met with a sharp comeback from Taylor. ‘’Did you grow tits while you were at the party, Steven?’’ 

Everyone burst into laughter at Taylor’s witty remark, even Conrad who just entered the living room, walking over to the other end of the couch where you were sitting. 

He sat on the length of the chaise, stroking your bare legs as he leaned in for a quick kiss. 

‘’Did you have fun with the boys?’’ you asked, your attention no longer on the movie.

Conrad shrugged. Being the designated driver sucked…and so did that party. No wonder they came home so early. He would have prefered to stay here and hang out with you, but you had already made plans with the girls. 

You stretched and laid your legs over his lap, settling comfortably into the couch. Conrad shook his head, but didn’t say anything. He liked the weight of your legs over his, the casual intimacy of it. 

Your attention was brought back to your friends when Jeremiah and Taylor began dueting ‘Lay all your love on me’ as if they were part of the movie. Taylor still couldn’t sing, but Jeremiah wasn’t too bad. You smiled at them, amused by their antics, and Conrad smiled back at you, his eyes full of affection as his fingers traced gentle patterns on your skin. 

A few scenes later, his attention was drawn to the navy Cousins rowing shirt you were wearing, and he raised an amused eyebrow. ‘’Is that my shirt?’’ he inquired with a grin, realizing it belonged to him.

You hummed. It was slightly oversized on you, but incredibly comfortable. ‘’We went swimming and I wanted something comfortable to wear after.’’ And it smelled like him. ‘’I hope you don’t mind.’’ 

Conrad shook his head. ‘’It looks good on you.’’

—

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[chocochiffonnn]

Cookies & Promises

➸ Pairing: Idol BF! Nishimura Riki x Reader

➸ Word Count: 1.5k words

➸ Synopsis: Baking and a clingy boyfriend who rarely got to see you— combining the two creates a chaos, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

➸ Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, some curse words, riki is sososososo clingy here, riki and niki used interchangeably. enjoy reading guys!

➸ Songs to play as you listen!

Junny - Promise

Johnny Stimson - Casual

New West - Lovely

Taylor Swift - Say Don't Go

Enhypen - XO

●・○・●・○・●●・○・●・○・●●・○・●・○・●●・○・●・○・●

Nishimura Riki always found a way to touch you.

It hardly mattered when the occasion was odd, or the crowd was rowdy and bustling. Subtly, Niki just somehow always found a way to come to contact with your skin.

Perhaps it is because his love language revolves around it Though he hates the idea of over the top physical affection in public, he truly does revel and thrive in the subject once the two of you are alone.

Like this very moment right now.

A particular Saturday night, after the two of you had gone for early dinner, you decided make some cookies as a dessert. Riki had gone over to your house, as he'd often do when he wasn't out doing idol business, practicing, or training.

Which is, in all honesty— is rare.

Thus, the reason for him lazing around your house all day and sharing nothing but movies, games, food, and laughter the last couple of hours. This particular night, however, was the first time you got to see each other again after a week of him being away.

And following this event, you supposed you wouldn't see him again for as long as a month or so as they are to be in tour.

It explains the reason why as you prepped the ingredients needed for the cookies and scurried around the kitchen, Niki had you in a back hug the entire time.

It didn't help the fact that his head was on your shoulder, too. Peppering soft and gentle kisses around your nape, neck, collarbone, and cheeks, occasionally.

"Riki, baby, can you let go for a bit? It's hard baking these cookies." You reason, as you set a carton of milk atop the table. Niki only hums, pulling you closer to his chest.

"Why?" He mumbles, low and gentle against your ear.

"What do you mean, why? You're like a clingy little koala! I might not get anything done at this rate!" Truth be told, you did love it when Niki was needy like this, acting like such a baby when in front of the cameras, he was but a "tough boy".

"I can help you with that..." Niki suggests, swaying the two of you side to side. You giggled, "Yes, you will! If only you let go of me and—"

All of a sudden, Niki turns you around and envelops you with his arms once more. It comfortably tightened around your neck, and you came to catch a whiff of his perfume you can recognize miles away.

"Baby, why do you want me to let go so bad? Do you not miss me?"

Niki says, as if you were dismissing him. His tone was rather teasing, "W-what? Of course I do!"

"Then it's okay if I cling to you while you bake?"

With a slight groan, you reluctantly agreed to his antics and turn around. Baking cookies had always been a simple task, which is bound to get tedious now as a Nishimura Riki now clings to you like a little koala bear.

Your ingredients were all complete and arranged, you grabbed a bowl to put the dry ingredients first, and a separate ones for the wet ingredients. All the while, Niki would do just about anything and everything to get you to pay attention to him.

Poking your cheek repeatedly, "Hey! Shh. Stop that." You turn to look at him, to which he only grins.

Then, taking one of the ingredients, "Where's the egg?"

Niki taps you in the shoulder, turns around, and with full confidence— he just... Acts like he's pooping, as mysteriously, and egg comes out of his hands. "Look, I lay eggs now."

He must think he must be so funny because right after, he started stomping his feet, snickering, and laughing so hard over his own joke.

You took the egg from him with a laugh in sake of entertaining him, and cracking the egg into the bowl.

Then, he'd make silly faces as you kneaded the dough.

"Imagine if the dough had a face, this is what it would be making right now."

Niki goes in front of you over the kitchen table, making silly little faces every time your hands came to contact with the cookie dough. He'd obnoxiously widen his eyes, puff his nose and ears, stick his tongue out.

One of his goofy faces made you cringe and laugh loudly, to which Niki smiled, "Heck yeah!"

Then, once you put the cookie dough in the oven, he'd stand in front of it and randomly start breakdancing in the middle of nowhere, pulling out his moves which would normally attract you. Now, it just made you shit in laughter.

"What are you doing?" You say, crossing your arms as Niki b-boyed. "I'm dancing for you, obviously!" He pants, doing flips and stumbling right after.

Thud.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" You quickly come over to him, kneeling in front of his fallen figure, inspecting his leg which had fallen down. Niki didn't speak for a few seconds until, all of a sudden, he tackled you down the ground.

In a very tight, and heavy bear hug.

Hell, this boy put all his strength and weight upon you, encaging you with his legs, and keeping you impossibly close. You could hardly breath!

"Riki! Let me go!" You squirm under his hold, Riki only snorts, "I tricked you there baby! Ha! Take this!"

Riki suddenly started tickling you, and you felt like a worm under his hold. You were thrashing uncontrollably, laughing so immensely as he tickled, and tickled, and tickled.

'S-stop! Nooo!" You manage to mutter in between laughter, and he soon stops, opting to embrace you in the cold, hard apartment floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He says, rolling your bodies around like sausages.

Gosh. At times, it hardly felt like you were taking care of a boyfriend, but rather, it felt like you had a child! Nishimura Riki is ridiculously mischievous and childish that sometimes, it felt like you're going to go insane!

The oven timer ticks, and Niki finally lets you out of his grasp. You take the cookies out of the oven, let them to cool as you grabbed some of the ice cream from the freezer.

Niki merely observes as you prepared him a bowl of cookies and vanilla ice cream, smiling when you hand him the bowl. You grabbed your own, and the two of you head back to the couch to laze around for the rest of the night and enjoy the rest of the night with him by your side.

"You baked these cookies so good, damn." Niki says as the two of you faced each other at the couch, eating away the ice cream and cookies combination. You smile and mumble a small thank you, opting to not tease him for annoying you so much as the cookies did taste good.

Once the two of you were finished, you settled your bowls at the coffee table and heaved a sigh, "I won't be seeing you tomorrow anymore, yeah?" you randomly brought up out of the blue, a wave of reality washing over you.

It didn't really matter where Niki had gone to, even if it's a country away, miles away, even just a neighborhood away. At the end of the day, you always missed your annoying little boyfriend terribly.

Niki sensed your sudden change of mood, pulling you closer and placing you atop his lap. He wraps both of your arms around his neck as you lazily hunched over and embraced him.

Niki pats your back in comfort, "I'm still seeing you in the morning, baby, don't worry." He assures, though, you can sense by the tone of his voice that he too, is disappointed.

"I'll miss you."

"I'l miss you too, baby."

You pull back from his embrace, holding his face within your hands. You lovingly caressed it, memorizing every detail and tracing it as if it was his last day on earth. Maybe it is to be, for a month or so, at least.

Niki only hums into your touch, closing his eyes and warming into your feather fingers further. His long fingers roamed around your back, caressing it, too.

"It won't take long, I promise..." He mumbles, opening his eyes and holding one of your hands. You only nodded.

You knew Niki found enjoyment in what he was doing. Performing in front of big crowds, making his name known along with his hyungs— it's all really a matter of accepting the fact that your very clingy boyfriend just had to be away for so long.

But then again, Niki always keeps his promise. Even if it is to be a year away, a decade away, even a millennia, you knew that Nishimura Riki always holds true to what he says.

And you know that by the end of each day, he'll always come back home to you, over shared ice-creams and cookies, over shared laughters and assurance.

And most of all, over a shared lifetime with his one and only girlfriend.

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ END *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

[wlntrsldler]

poisoned mercury | delicate

friend group shenanigans | set after pink skies | series masterlist

song: delicate by taylor swift

“good morning,” you yawned, rubbing your eyes as you exited your room. travis was taking up the entire couch, doubled over in pain. “woah, what happened to you?” 

“food poisoning,” he replied, wincing. he had a blanket draped over him, acting like he was on his deathbed. 

connor walked in with a bowl of chicken soup for his brother, rolling his eyes as he shoved travis’ feet off the couch to have somewhere to sit, “and whose fault is that?” 

clarisse was sitting next to chris on the love seat, shaking her head, “told you not to get a hot dog from the gas station.” 

“rookie mistake, babe,” chris chimed in, “whenever you tell trav not to do something, he does it. it’s in his dna.” 

“connor shares the same dna as him and he’s not like that,” you called out from the kitchen, making yourself a bowl of cereal. the dining hall was already closed for breakfast since you woke up so late, thanks to the boy who was still passed out on your bed.

you couldn’t remember the last time you slept so well. you felt bad for leaving him alone, sleep in your room but your stomach was growling and if you didn't get some food in your system soon, you were bound to catch an attitude.

“that’s because i got the brains between the two of us,” connor joked, scoffing, “i let him borrow some brain cells once in a while.” 

“fuck you guys,” travis complained, sitting up. “i’m dying here and you’re making fun of me?!” 

you walked out into the living room, pulling one of the bar stools to sit closer to the group. your eyes darted to the screen in front of you, internally cheering at the familiar scene. they were watching barbie. the five of you watched in silence, letting out little laughs at the jokes, until the door of your room opened. 

luke walked out, half-asleep, and made his way over to you. he kissed your lips, mumbling, “g’mornin, five star.” 

“mornin’, pretty boy,” you squeezed the arm he wrapped around your waist. he sent you a lazy smile, nuzzling his face in your neck before disappearing into his bedroom. you turned your attention back to the screen, shoving a spoonful of fruit loops in your mouth, “oh, i love this part!” 

when you were the only one who burst out laughing at ken’s “sublime!” you turned to look at your friends, wondering why none of them were laughing. they were staring at you with wide-eyes, jaws ajar. their eyes were bright, lips breaking out into teasing smiles. oh. oh. 

“castellan get your ass in here, now!” 

luke walked out of his room with his eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why chris was screaming his name like bloody fucking murder at 12 pm on a sunday. surely, he hadn’t done anything wrong yet– he just woke up! he put his glasses on, finally able to see the looks on everyone’s faces, including your red cheeks and sheepish smile. 

luke didn’t even realize what he did until that moment. it just felt natural for him to greet you good morning, like he always did anyway, but it’s just sweeter this time around because he’s allowed to kiss you now, at least he thinks he’s allowed to. he was a little butthurt that he woke up alone on your bed this morning so when he walked out and was only able to make out your silhouette, he didn’t think twice before placing a chaste kiss on your lips. he got a taste of what it was like to kiss you and he couldn’t help himself to do it again.

he thinks now, though, that perhaps he should’ve thought twice because there was no way your friends would let the two of you leave until you explained. luke’s face paled at the sight of his friends. were you mad at him for kissing you in front of people? if his head wasn't spinning with all the negative thoughts he was having, he would see your face and understand that you were happy your friends knew about the two of you.

clarisse clicked on the remote to pause the movie, “soooo… seems like we skipped a few chapters.” 

“more like we finally got to the next chapter,” travis snorted, earning a smack on the back of his head from connor. the older stoll hissed, “don’t act like y’all weren’t tired of their pining.” 

chris rolled his eyes, eyes darting between you and luke. he was trying to fight the smile threatening to show on his features, “so care to enlighten us, guys?”

"luke?"

luke's head snapped to the sound of your voice, pulling him out of his head. you had an arm outstretched, beckoning him over to where you stood. it made luke feel giddy inside as he trotted over to you, finding comfort in standing behind you and placing his chin on top of your head. he swung an arm around you, hoping that you wouldn't see the thumbs-up he sent to the boys.

"yeaaaaahhhh castellan's got the girl!"

"oh my god," you whispered, turning around to bury your head in luke's chest. you were blushing furiously at the cheers from your friends. you think you might've even heard travis complaining about losing a bet to connor. clarisse and chris were babbling about how double dates would be fun, though clar mentioned that luke and chris would end up third and fourth-wheeling the two of you more than anything. "our friends are crazy."

the arm he had wrapped around you pulled you in tighter. you felt the rumbling of his chest, "they are."

"you guys are so fucking cute," clarisse said, a hand over her heart. "y/n, he finally made a move!"

you turned back around to face clarisse and the group, "actually i made the move!"

luke scoffed, "you did not. i kissed you."

"i asked you to come in last night."

"yeah i believe, y/n," connor piped in, shrugging. "luke was not gonna make a move."

clarisse gasped, placing a hand on chris' bicep, "we should compare notes."

your eyes widened, "do not compare notes."

"wait, what do you mean notes?" luke asked quizzically. "was five star talking about me?"

"clarisse i will never forgive you if you tell him anything."

"i'm not gonna tell him directly," she hummed, lacing her fingers with chris', "but if i told my boyfriend who happens to be his best friend and he tells luke, then, technically, i haven't done anything wrong."

"y/n, i assure you, you should not be embarrassed," travis said, snickering. it was luke's turn to panic. "whatever you said to clarisse about lover boy here, i'm sure it can't be any worse than what he's said about you to us over the last two months."

chris cleared his throat, putting on his best luke impression, "five star is so pretty. i don't think i've ever seen anyone so beautiful."

"five star is so funny. i can listen to her talk about anything for hours." this was travis.

"oh, luke where were you today? we haven't seen you all day," connor said in his regular voice before deepening his voice a tad bit to match luke's, "oh, i was hanging out with five star and we accidentally fell asleep by the lake."

"not to mention the dozens of songs he wrote about you," chris teased, "thanks for inspiring the second album, but bro was like alexander hamilton writing those songs."

luke whined, tugging on his hood to cover his face, "guys, stoppp."

"oh my god, y/n, you should see his tweets."

"do not show her my tweets!"

you burst out in laughter, getting up from your seat. you wrapped your arms around luke and he took the opportunity to hide his face in the crook of your neck. you could feel the heat on his cheeks against your skin. you played with the hair on the nape of his neck, "all right, guys, enough."

"can we go back to your room?" luke whispered in your ear, lips grazing the shell of your ear.

"mhm," you couldn't deny him of anything if you tried, "come on, pretty boy."

you couldn't help but laugh and throw up the middle finger to your friends as they called out jokes and kissing noises as you and luke went off. it was funny, really, how they all knew there was something between you and luke before the two of you did. it was nice to know that your friends were supportive, regardless of how annoying they would be now that you and luke were together.

luke collapsed on his side of your bed, unable to wipe the dopey smile on his face. you sat on his lap, leaning over to press kisses on his cheeks, "just so we're clear, i wanna see the tweets. and hear the songs."

"well you can't ask me that while you're sitting on top of me because i'll fold."

you giggled, kissing his lips passionately. his hands gripped your waist as he sat up, getting in a more comfortable position, "that's the point, castellan."

luke pinched your side, chuckling when you squealed, "you're evil."

"uh huh," you mumbled, "you know we're never gonna catch a break with our friends now right?"

"honestly, i haven't caught a break from the boys since i met you," he admitted, "but at least i get to kiss you now, so it's really a win."

you couldn't agree more.

[bellawoso]

You Belong With Me

Aitana Bonmati x fem!reader

(Sorry to my non-male attracted viewers, there’s only a tiny bit of straightness at the start!)

You and Aitana had met and instantly clicked as soon as you made the move to Barcelona, even though when you moved you had no experience speaking the Spanish language at all, Aitana used her broken English which never failed at making you laugh to teach you the basics of her first language.

When you were at Arsenal, you met a man at the bar when the team was celebrating a successful victory against Chelsea which ensured that North London stayed red. After engaging in a conversation with him, you learnt that the two of you shared similar interests including football, and he later asked you out on a date which you immediately accepted.

After a few more dates, texting back and forth, and the short but sweet kisses you two shared, he soon asked if you would be his girlfriend, which you accepted happily.

In all honesty, you hadn’t been with anyone in a while, and so when you met him, you completely misunderstood your platonic connection with him as a romantic connection between you two.

When your contract ended with Arsenal, Barcelona almost instantly reached out offering you a new contract, one that you couldn’t turn away.

At the time, you and your boyfriend were hitting the 8 month mark, you had moved in together and broke the news to him over dinner. He agreed to long distance, and when he mentioned how proud he was of you at the time, you really thought he was the one.

You two did long distance for around 3 months, almost hitting your 1 year anniversary, your boyfriend had previously explained his plans to come over on the 12th, 2 days before Valentines Day. But on February 8th, you received a phone call from him, explaining he couldn’t come as he had thought over your relationship and didn’t think it was worth it to continue long distance for over a year.

You weren’t heartbroken, but you more just felt numb, you told Aitana about what happened but failed to notice the look of relief masked by her predominantly angered state at your boyfriend for hurting you only a few days before Valentines.

The night before Valentines, Aitana had come round one again to comfort you as your head rested in her lap, and once again you missed the red tint to her cheeks as she ran her fingers through your hair. As you looked up at the brunette midfielder, you saw a look of hesitation in her eyes.

“What’s wrong tana?”

“I- I was just wondering if you would like to spend Valentines with me tomorrow? To take your mind off him.”

“As friends?” You asked, but for once the idea of you spending the day as ‘friends’ with Aitana made your heart ache.

A flash of hurt appeared in Aitana’s eyes as she answered you softly, “Yes, as friends.”

You only hummed in response and buried your head into her lap, hoping to hide the disappointment on your face.

———————————————————————

When you awoke the next morning, you were hurt to see that Aitana had left, only leaving you a short message.

From: Aitana

- I pick you at 7, formal wear.

For once, Aitana’s bad English didn’t make you laugh. Instead it reminded you of the uneasy feeling in your chest about your newfound feelings towards your best friend.

You spent most of the day moping around, trying to cure your confused mind about Aitana. You had only ever been with boys in your life, why were you beginning to feel like this now, at 24?

You knew that there was nothing wrong with figuring out your sexuality later than others, but you had listened to most of your teammates’ stories about how they figured they were into girls at 12. You are now double the age they found out about themselves, and a sense of fear settled in your chest at the thought of coming out to everyone, your friends, your family, the public.

So you called one of your closest friends, Keira.

You already knew Keira from the Lionesses team, and when you moved to Barcelona, she was quick to take you under her wing with her and Lucy being the only fluent English speakers in the team.

After a few tries of ringing Keira, the English midfielder finally picked up.

“How did you know you were into girls?”

A chuckle could be heard from Keira’s end of the call, which you made out to be Lucy sat near her.

“I just realised that what I felt for them wasn’t platonic, and was romantic feelings instead, why do you ask?”

“Aitana asked me to spend Valentine’s Day with her as friends, but I’m not sure if I want it to be more than that Kei.”

For a moment, Keira’s end of the line went quiet, which you guessed was the older girl being in thought, until you heard some rustling and then Lucy’s voice through your phone.

“Hello kid, I have news for you.”

“Lucy I swear to god if your going to make fun of me then save it, I have a real problem here.”

“Calm down kid, what I was trying to say that due to me being amazing friends with Mapi, she often talks about how when Aitana third-wheels her and Ingrid, Aitana often spends the entire time gushing about you, does that sound platonic to you?”

“I don’t know.”

“God y/n! Your useless, no wonder Aitana hasn’t asked you out yet, if your this oblivious to all her flirting!”

“She does not flirt with me!” You retorted.

“She calls you amor, lets you sit on her lap, and always blushes when you kiss her cheek, the poor girl probably thinks your 100% straight and leading her on!”

“Well actually Lucy, less than a week ago I thought I was a 100% straight, so..”

“Shut up, just treat it as a date, and kiss her at the end to get your point across and you will be fine”

“Your no help Lucy, goodbye”

And with that, you hang up still trying to process Lucy’s earlier words, Aitana talks about you to others, and now you think about it, is Aitana really flirting with you, have you mistook it as general Spanish affection?

Aitana has never been one to shy away from her sexuality, always making her disgust for romantic activities with men known. You on the other hand, had never confirmed your sexuality as straight, but equally you had only ever dated men, which left people to assume. Did Aitana share your feelings, or had you and Lucy misread the situation?

What you were unaware of though, was Lucy and Keira’s shock which they masked well on the call, and Lucy’s first words when the call ended being: ‘What the actual fuck.’

The whole team knew about Aitana’s tragically unrequited love for you, they saw each time Aitana made a hint of you to reveal your sexuality by making a comment of:

“I just don’t know how you put up with men!”

And each time, they saw how the small glimmer of hope that you would agree with her shatter as instead you laughed it off, replying with “I don’t know I just do!”

———————————————————————

As promised, Aitana’s car pulls up outside your house at 7, to which you rush out of your house ready to meet the beautiful brunette, who was clad in the most gorgeous suit you had ever seen in your entire life.

You didn’t miss how her eyes raked over your figure which was hugged by a strapless back dress which accentuated all of your curves.

She opened the passenger door for you and then walked round to the drivers side, the drive there was filled with silence, little did the both of you know, you both shared the same thoughts of what exactly the other wanted this ‘friend’ date to be.

When you got to the restaurant, you were unsurprised to see that it was some fancy 5-star restaurant that Aitana had picked out.

You had both ordered starters, mains and deserts and had chatted just as you normally would over a bottle of red wine.

Aitana couldn’t help but notice the way the red wine had slightly tinted your lips, and she wished nothing more than to have a chance to taste them some day.

Of course you noticed Aitana staring at your lips, but Aitana didn’t know that at that moment, you had realised that there was no one else you would rather be with right now. That you would trade the past year of good memories spent with your boyfriend, just to remember this one perfect night with Aitana.

“I don’t want to be here as friends.” You said nervously.

A look of shock was evident in Aitana’s eyes, “What do you mean? Have I upset you?”

“No, no! Of course not tana. I meant that I- ”

You paused for a second and made the haste decision to be completely honest with Aitana.

“God, I don’t know how to say this, I’ve never actually asked anyone out before!”

There it was, the look in her eyes that you wanted to see for the rest of your life time, the glimmer of hope that even Aitana herself thought you had fully extinguished long ago.

Aitana could not help her smile which stretched ear to ear, as she helped you out.

“Could this be a date then if you are okay with that?” Aitana asked softly.

“I would love that.”

With that you and Aitana got up and walked out of the restaurant, the previous adrenaline rush Aitana was still on from coming clean about her feelings with you, urged the brunette to lace her fingers with yours as she led you back to her car.

On the drive back, you noticed how tense Aitana looked, so with a similar sense of confidence to Aitana earlier, you grabbed her hand, which rested awkwardly on her lap and moved it to your thigh. Upon doing this Aitana’s stance relaxed visibly, and she looked over at you with a dopey smile, one which you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips.

When it was time to get out of the car when it pulled up outside your house, Aitana quickly scrambled up and walked you over to your door.

“I would invite you in.” You said with a smile, “But I need some time to think, okay?”

“That’s fine, I understand, I will pick you up for training tomorow?”

“I look forward to it.”

But as Aitana turned to leave, you grabbed her bicep pulling her back to you where your lips met hers in a soft, sensual kiss.

You were the first to pull back, offering her a smile, “Night tana.”

“Goodnight y/n.”

———————————————————————

The next morning, Aitana pulled outside of your house at 7:45, ready for the 8am training session, when you both arrived and got out of the car, you made the decision to hold the brunette’s hand as you walked to the locker room.

“Ready?” Aitana asked.

“Always.” You responded.

With her free hand, Aitana pushed open the door, only to hear the familiar chatter and laughter stop.

As you and Aitana came into the view of the other players, you two were met with a few wolf whistles, and many of your teammates muttering:

“I can’t believe it.”

Until Mapi comes barrelling over and basically throws herself on poor Aitana’s back.

“Well done my friend! I see you finally came to your senses and asked her out!”

Aitana’s glare was enough to silence Mapi, who instead turned to you.

“And you, miss england, I thought you were straight!”

This statement recieved yet another scowl from Aitana, who instinctively wrapped her arm around your waist.

“I never confirmed my sexuality.”

“You’ve only ever been with boys, in fact you have a boyfriend of like a year?”

“They broke up, idiot.” Aitana answered for you.

“Hey don’t call me idiot! This is just…unexpected?” Mapi said, feigning a look of hurt.

Only then did Lucy and Keira walk in, to see you with Aitana’s arms still securely wrapped around your waist.

“Ha! I told you guys and none of you believed me, every single one of you except Ona owes me €10!” Lucy exclaimed.

“You betted on us?! And they don’t owe you anything, it was an unfair bet, I already told you I liked her!” You said whilst blushing.

“Lucy you cheater!” Mapi shouted.

Lucy, ignoring them sauntered over to you and whispered “So, what type of gay are you?”

“Lucy that’s possibly the weirdest thing that you’ve ever said in your life.” You said, whilst grabbing Aitana’s hand from your waist and tugging her out if the room.

“I still can’t believe this.” Patri muttered.

———————————————————————

Please loves don’t be shy to send in some requests! 🤍

[littlemelaninfics]

Hii I’m pretty new to 9-1-1 and caught up in like a month lol!

Since you right for Black girls, can you write something about Buck confiding in Hen and Karen or even Athena about being with a black woman? Love your work!🖤

I love that for you! It’s an easy watch, but it’s so intense 👀

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun with it and I hope readers can relate 🤍

I see a time when Buck and Hen get drunk again with Karen and the topic of hair is brought up:

“So many products! There’s rejuvenating, hydrating…curl quenching? Don’t they all do the same thing?” Buck asked with his eyes squinted, half with curiosity and half due to the blood running to his face.

“Absolutely not!”

“No!” Karen and Hen exclaimed, stepping on each others words,

“Hair that contains melanin requires much more care. One day it’s soft and bouncy and the next it’s dry and brittle like a birds nest,” Karen explained.

“Hence,” Hen said as she lazily pointed to her bald head and poured another shot.

“Yeah…but…”

“But?” Hen asked choking down the contents of her glass

“She won’t let me help her with it. I mean..Taylor a-and Abby loved when I played in their hair-“

“You didn’t tell her that, did you?” Karen interrupted.

“Of course,” Buck replied confidently looking slightly to the side as if the conversation turned argument was replaying in his head.

“Noo, Buck,” she said putting her head on the table.

“A-a-and she got sooo mad!”

“First of all, women don’t like to hear about what the women before her enjoyed,” Hen started to explain,

“It makes her think you’re still thinking about them,” Karen said in agreement.

“I-I’m not! Not at all!” Buck tried his best to defend himself, but the drinks were staring to hit faster and faster.

“Second of all, Black women have never been allowed to think her hair is enough,” Hen continued but she could tell she was losing Buck,

“Meaning, she’s always been told it’s too wild or too nappy. So the thought of someone “playing” in our hair makes our skin crawl,” she said matter of factly.

“So then I just never touch her hair?”

“No, Buck. You need to break down that wall with her that has been up since before grade school. Watch what she does, look up YouTube videos if you have to, but it’s more than what you think.”

“Is it cause I’m white?” He hated asking the question, but he wouldn’t know the answer if he didn’t. When Karen and Hen just took sips from their cups, Buck slumped in his chair, sighing in defeat.

“It’s different for both of you. Why do you think we’re even talking about it…with you?”

He propped his head in his palm, looking at the wet ring stained in the wood table. Hen and Karen were right. Buck is not completely out of touch and should’ve known it was more than he was understanding.

He begged his friends to crack open their laptop and share enlightening stories about their hair journeys. That night he studied Black Hair Care as much as he could. Since he’s only touched her hair during a movie or sexual activity, he found her texture is 3C with a 3B framing and 4B crown. He spotted her favorite products by the color of the label and airdropped himself articles he wanted to revisit. Karen couldn’t help but feel mushy as she finally understood the scope of the love Buck has for Y/N and she couldn’t be happier.

He sobered up over the next couple of hours and ordered his Uber home. On the ride, he couldn’t help but imagine the direction their relationship was about to go, smiling to himself gently. He walked through the front door hearing the shower run and decided to shed his street clothes into something more comfortable. Once he had been home for 15 minutes and Y/N still wasn’t out of the shower, he knew she was taking an Everything Shower.

Buck got up and went to the hall closet, picking up her hair basket. He started to get intimidated when actually handling the products and Denman Brush, but that quickly changed to excitement when he remembered she still has to teach him, no matter what. He heard the shower turn off and wet patting across the hardwood. Buck went over her whole routine in his head and anticipated you walking down the stairs.

You rounded the corner and was meant with waiting eyes,

“Hi,” Buck said with his famous grin.

“Hi,” you replied looking at him and then your hair stuff out and displayed,

“What are-”

“Um, come sit,” he said plopping back on the couch. You looked at the two pillows stacked on the floor between his legs,

“Buck…” you said unsure.

“I’ve already learned how to love all of you. Let me learn how to take care of all of you.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you slowly crossed the floor panels. You knew you weren’t just walking to get your hair done. You were taking steps into your future with a man who wanted every bit of you.

[talkdutchtome]

You Should Have Said No Chapter Two - It's Nice to Have a Friend

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader / pierre gasly x reader )

summary . . . when your fiancé cheats on you, you strike up an unusual friendship with one of his closest friends, who just so happens to have had a crush on you since he set eyes on you. chaos ensues.

inspired by the works of miss taylor swift )

genre . . . angst )

song . . . it's nice to have a friend- taylor swift)

warning . . . cheating, mental illness, angst, eventual smut, poorly translated french and dutch, swearing, mention of parent loss, emotionally abusive parent, slight social media au, kendall jenner as fc (potentially more i’ll add as i go along)

series masterlist . . . available here )

A banging came from the front door, jolting you awake and making you fall off the sofa in the process. When Pierre left you decided the best thing to do was sleep, not wanting to be awake and deal with the crushing pain, but after 30 minutes of writhing around in bed, the scent of Pierre lingering on the sheets, you realised that sleeping in the bed you shared with your fiancé was going to be impossible, so you resorted to the sofa.  

The banging started again, worried it was Pierre coming back, you ignored it. “Y/N let me in, Y/N” You heard a voice call, a voice that didn’t belong to Pierre. It was Max’s voice. You stood up and began walking to the door, you stopped at a mirror in the hallway looking at your reflection. Your hair was messy, your face red and blotchy, your eyes swollen from crying, black mascara tears stained on your cheeks. You thought about tiding yourself up a bit, not wanting to look too pathetic when you open the door; but you quickly realised that it was a lost cause and continued walking to the door. 

“Y/N, hi” Max spoke as the door swung open, looking at you with soft eyes. He wanted to reach up to you and pull you into a bear hug, lord knows it looked like you needed it. But he decided not to, worried that it would make you uncomfortable. 

“Um hi Max, what are you doing here?” You asked, genuinely confused why he was stood at your door, he told you because you deserved to know but he was Pierre’s friend, his former teammate. 

“I wanted to-“ he started and then paused “Can I come in?”  

You opened the door wider and step to the side allowing him to enter, silently answering his question. 

“How did you know where w- where I live?” You asked puzzled, Max and Pierre hadn’t been as close as they once were over the past few years so he hasn’t been to your apartment before.  

“I phoned Charles, I was worried about you when you hung up the phone and I thought, well I thought if I were in your position, I wouldn’t want to be alone” he spoke, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.  

“When you spoke to Charles did you tell him?” You asked. 

“No, I didn’t, but he already knew, I guess, he asked me to give you a hug from him.” You smiled at the Dutchman’s words, Charles is Pierre’s best friend so even though that’s who Pierre would have gone to straight away, looking for support, Charles still had you in his thoughts, truly caring for you. The silence sat in the room and made its presence ever clear, this being only one of a few if any conversations just between the two of you, aside of course from the conversation you had with him earlier in the day, the one that caused your world to come crashing down. Feeling nervous, you began to play with the ring sat on your left hand, you didn’t even clock the significance until you saw Max looking down at the ring. The ring Pierre gave you months ago when he asked you to marry him, when he told you that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You thought about taking the ring off, you know you should. You definitely aren’t engaged anymore, but for some reason you can’t, not wanting to let go of that part of your life yet.  

You looked up to find Max watching you, an unreadable expression on his face. “Have you eaten today?” He asks you and that takes you by surprise, you weren’t sure what he was going to say to you after watching you so intently but that certainly wasn’t it.  

“No, I uh no I haven’t” he stood up and began walking to the kitchen, “May I?” He asks gesturing towards the oven. Was he asking if he could cook for you? You nodded slowly, still unsure what he was doing here. He began after seeing your confirmation, starting with cleaning up the mess from the breakfast you had started to make this morning. For a second you want to ask him to stop, not to clean up and get rid of the last thing you did before your life changed forever. You don’t though, realising you can’t keep burnt bacon as a souvenir from a better time. Snapping out from your thoughts you see Max begin making a pasta dish, for a second you catch yourself smiling, this man had absolutely no loyalties to you, he didn’t have betray Pierre and tell you what happened, but he did. He didn’t have to come and check up on you, but he did. He certainly didn’t have to look after you and make sure you eat, but that’s what he was doing.  

“You go and sit down; I’ll bring this through when I’m done”. 

You smiled again before following his instructions. 

He walked into the room 15 minutes later, carrying a delicious smelling plate of food in. “Here” he passes it to you, his hand lightly brushing against yours as he did so. “Thank you” you said smiling at him before beginning to eat. He sat with you in silence again, but this time the awkwardness wasn’t there, instead it was comfortable. Max knew that you probably weren’t in the mood for talking, but he also knew you probably didn’t want to be alone either, so he was more than happy to sit with you in silent company.  

You sat next to each other on the sofa for a while longer, almost exclusively in silence, until Max noticed you started to yawn. “I should leave then, I hope you’re okay, please phone me if you need me, I’ll make sure to keep my phone on loud.” He said to you and again you were taken aback by the care shown by a man who owed nothing to you. You thanked him and assured him you would let him know if you needed him. He nodded and began walking to the door. You hesitated before speaking “Max wait.” He turned back around and was about to ask what was wrong but before he could get the words out of his mouth you were in his arms hugging him, he hesitated for a second before wrapping his arms around you tight, pulling you closer into him.  

Pulling back, you looked up at him before you spoke “For Charles.” He smiled, looking in your sad eyes staring up at him. “Yeah, for Charles” 

When he left, the same silence that had felt comfortable in just 5 minutes ago became heavy. Without Max here to distract you from the devastation, the crushing feeling became more apparent. You thought about looking at your phone, maybe even texting Max a quick thank you, but you quickly realised that on your phone you would find dozens of messages from Pierre. Quickly changing your mind, you went straight to the sofa to sleep, not even bothering to attempt to use the bed. 

The ringing of your alarm woke you up at 10am the next morning, an unwelcome wake up call considering the disturbed sleep you had from sleeping on the sofa. The first thing you did was walk into your bedroom and strip the bed, putting the old bedding in the washing and putting a brand-new set of sheets on. Happy with yourself for coming up with a solution for that problem, you got to work on completing other tasks that needed to be done; you showered, and you tidied up the house. Then finally after feeling as refreshed as you possibly could, you moved on to the one task you truly did not want to do. Letting out a shaky breath you reached for your phone, it had sat unmoved from the kitchen table, where it was when one 5-minute conversation with Max Verstappen changed her whole life. 

 Opening it up, messages from four people filled her screen: Pierre, Max, Charles and Rebecca from work. The last name made you curse, it reminded you of the one thing you did not want to be reminded of, the flight to Spain you were scheduled to take with your fiancé in time for the Spanish GP. When Pierre asked you to quit your job as a photographer to follow him around the world all those years ago, you said no, not wanting your entire life to be boiled down to who you were in a relationship with. But when he asked and asked, when he told you how crazy he was going being away from you for weeks on end, you said yes. He got you a job with Formula 1 and you loved it. You loved the work you did, and you loved getting to travel the world with the love of your life, or at least you used to.  

Frowning, you moved on to the other text messages, starting with Charles. 

Charles Leclerc 

Y/N Pierre has just turned up here in a state, he won’t talk. What’s happened? 

Okay so he told me what happened, I cannot believe he did that. Please message me as soon as you get this, I need to know that you’re okay. 

Y/N, just so you know, Max called asking for your address, I’m not sure why but expect him at your door soon  

You smiled to yourself at the love and concern Charles had for you. You wouldn’t have blamed him if he didn’t reach out, if he put his entire focus on his best friend. You quickly typed a reply.  

Y/N Y/LN 

Hey Charles, sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I am okay, just. I really don’t want to talk about it right now though. 

Turning to the next set of messages, you noticed they were from Pierre. 

Mon amour 

Cheri, please let me come home, let’s talk about this. 

Please Y/N I’m so sorry. 

I love you Cheri, you have to know that. 

What is happening with our plans today, when can I come round to get my stuff, are you still coming? I need to know the flights in a few hours. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to reply, mostly because you didn’t know the answer to his question. Moving on you saw the next messages were from Max. 

Max Verstappen 

Hey Y/N, I’m sorry for having to tell you that, but you needed to know. I hope you’re okay.  

Good morning Y/N, I hope you’re doing okay today. Just a reminder that I’m always here. 

You smiled at the messages, once again the care this man showed for you..  

Y/N Y/LN 

Hi Max, thank you for yesterday. I’ve been better but yeah, I’m okay thank you. 

Max Verstappen 

I’m glad to hear it. Is there anything I can do for you today?  

Y/N Y/LN 

No I don’t think so thank you. Today will be spent trying to find a new way to get to Spain ready for the shoot tomorrow haha. 

Max Verstappen 

I have space on my jet?  

Y/N Y/LN 

Thank you but you really don’t need to do that. I’ll find a way; worst case I guess I’ll just catch the flight with Pierre. 

Max Verstappen 

No don’t be silly, you’re coming. I have a space and you need a way to get there.  

I’ll be there in 45 minutes, be ready.  

Your breath hitched at those last messages, you thought about standing your ground and telling him no, but he was right. You need to get there and the last thing you want is to sit on a plane with Pierre. Quickly firing off a message to Pierre to let him know you’ll be making your own way there and that he can come over in an hour to collect his stuff as that’s when you’ll be gone. You began to gather your stuff and prepare to leave.  

 The time passed quickly and eventually you received another text message from Max letting you know he had arrived. You felt nerves swirl around your stomach as you walked downstairs and approached the car. Opening the door, you saw that Max was sat in the driver's seat, the passenger seat was empty and in the back of the car sat Daniel Ricciardo and Lando Norris.  

“Hey Y/N, I saved you a seat. Have you got everything you need?” He asked smiling warmly at you tapping the seat next to him. You could feel pity in the eyes of Daniel and Lando, you knew Lando knew as he was there when it happened, but somebody had clearly told Daniel too.  

“Yeah, I do, thank you very much for this, I really appreciate it.” you replied climbing into the very fancy sports car. 

“Oh, please you’re doing me a favour, I didn’t particularly want to spend an hour in a confined space with those two back there.” he joked, clearly sensing your nervousness and wanting to help you feel at ease.  

“Ignore him Y/N, he loves us really” you heard an Australian voice joke come from behind us. You never had much to do with Daniel; but you knew his reputation for being the most likeable guy on the grid and after just a car ride with him you had to agree.   

Boarding Max’s jet felt like something out of movie, you had never experienced anything like this before, usually just flying business class with Pierre. Lando and Daniel sat next to each other, sharing a knowing glance with each other when they left you to sit next to Max, but you didn’t notice, too transfixed with looking at your surroundings. You sat next to Max, opposite the two other men on the plane and the conversation started flowing. It surprised you, how easily the conversation came between you and the three men, with you not spending much time with them at all before this. Eventually Lando and Daniel were asleep, you felt yourself not too far behind. Just as you were drifting asleep, you heard Max’s nervous voice begin speaking. 

“Y/N, I hope you don’t think I'm being too forward here by the way; I just have been in your situation, and I know most of your friends around here are Pierre’s friends too.. And I guess I just didn’t want you to be alone.” 

His words made your heart flutter, a feeling that took you by surprise, but you didn’t think much of it. 

“No Max, I don’t. Honestly, It’s Nice to Have A Friend.” You replied before closing your eyes and starting to sleep. Max didn’t say anything else after that, he just leant over and very gently kissed the top of your head.  

Taglist-

@hiraethrhapsody @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @aundercover @dearlovelys 

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: we’ll be safe and sound || part two: isn’t it delicate?

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ Lucy Gray Baird was once your best friend. But Coriolanus Snow arrived and it was you who had them both charmed up. Where Coriolanus returns to the Capitol thinking he killed two women. Only to be surprised to realise that he doomed the bright prospect of his future.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ ANGST, kinda Lucy Gray x Coryo x reader, chasing, blood, slight gore if you imagine some scenes, poisonous berries, mentions of aphrodisiacs, drowning, violence, this gets slightly dark.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ this is one of my favourite fics ab Coriolanus so far. Main songs are Safe and Sound (Taylor’s version), can’t catch me now again and triste verano lol. Part two is going to be the aftermath of this btw

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

__________________________________________________________

The water was warm. The soft rocks at the bottom made it slippery to stand still. But you did your best to stay there, looking at your friends laughing and playing where the water was deep.

“I can’t do it.” You say, shaking your head.

“You’re such a baby. Of course, you can!” The girl beside laughs at you and gently pushes you.

“Lucy Gray! I swear if you push me again I’m killing you” she laughs harder.

“Lucky me I know how to swim and you don’t”

“Relax. Just take my hand, I’m not letting you drown” Slowly, you take her hand, letting Lucy Gray guide you deeper into the water.

“I’m closing my eyes” you warn her. She rolls her eyes and laughs. The voices of your friends and the splashing sounds closer. At the same time, you feel the water has reached your chest. And it sends you on spirals.

“It’s okay. Just let go…” You’re holding Lucy Gray’s hand too tight. But as you reach further, you start making a big attempt to float. That’s when Lucy Gray grabs both of your hands to help you.

She finds your furrowed brows and insecure face funny and cute at the same time.

After some existential nights, the young girl questioned if she had ever felt such a strong connection with anyone as she did with you.

No. Never.

“Lucy Gray!” When she comes back to reality, she smiles shocked. She had dropped your hands but you had managed to keep floating. You were swimming.

“See? You did it!” Some of the members of The Covey cheer and you smile and laugh at their jokes.

“Told ya’. You’re just a baby” You poke your tongue out and she just makes fun of you.

“So funny. Shouldn’t you be at the market helping Maude Ivory to sell the necklaces we made?” Lucy Gray rolls her eyes again.

“Shouldn’t you be home?” It’s noon, almost dark. And yes, you should be home.

“I should.” To Lucy Gray, it was a disappointment to see that you never shared anything about your family or home. She just knew your mother’s family was from District 4, nothing else.

“Go home. I don’t want you to get scolded.” She was too sweet. Too sweet that you questioned if Lucy Gray Baird was your best friend.

“Petal, I’m almost eighteen…” one of the girls threw you a towel as soon as you made it out of the lake. After thanking her, you slip into your black sundress, which captures your alleged best friend’s attention.

“Why the black dress?” As a colour lover, you supposed Lucy Gray was hating your dress.

“It was the first thing I grabbed,” you admit, drying your hair with the towel.

“It looks like you’re going to a field funeral.”

“Maybe I was. In case I happened to have died in the lake” you joke, making her splash you. Lucy Gray noticed at that moment that you used many words that sounded too educated.

“Do you trust me so little?” She asked as she watched you leave.

“You know I trust whoever is loyal to me.” And with that, you disappeared through the trees.

There was something on you that intrigued Lucy Gray. And soon there will be two.

…

One night, at the hob, Lucy Gray is performing with The Covey and you are seated, smiling at her and your friends. Then all of a sudden, a certain blonde and tanned boy reaches for you.

“Y/N!” You hear your name and once you turn, you spot your two new friends.

“Sejanus, hey!” He offers you a little hug but it’s nothing compared to when Coriolanus Snow got closer.

“Coriolanus…” he literally falls into your open arms, his arms snaking around your hips with so much disguise that it makes you blush at the intimacy.

“I’ve told you… you can call me Coryo” You smile at him, inspecting his charming blue eyes that still made you get lost like the first day.

“Right… Well, it’s nice to see you, Coryo” he wants to chuckle. As Sejanus gets lost to get a drink, the blonde man takes a seat beside you.

“How has your training been? Hopefully not too hard.” You ask and wonder. Coriolanus was a peacekeeper in training. You met him almost three weeks ago, and somehow he made you very happy.

“I’m used to it now. The first days were the worst” you nod, turning back to see Lucy Gray and cheer for her.

Meanwhile, Coriolanus looked at you. Even your profile was a mystery to him. There was something about you that made him feel at home. Maybe it was your mannerisms that were very… Capitol. And that’s the thing, he didn’t know you. Yet, there was something that urged Coriolanus to unveil you. And that has started to make him question his feelings for Lucy Gray.

The moment you knew Coriolanus was Capitol, you started putting everything in a balance. And as you spent days talking outside of The Covey House and the lake, you realised you had started to put an eye on him.

When you turned to see the young man, you were surprised to see him already looking at you.

“What?” You ask, smiling. He replies by looking down, cheeks slightly flushed with pink.

“Nothing.” Your hand sneaks around your neck, and you feel it naked. You have lost your necklace.

Coriolanus sees how you start looking at the table, then the floor, looking out for something.

“What happened?”

“My necklace. I think I lost it… damn it” he starts helping you.

“Maybe it fell at the entrance” he suggests. So together we leave the hob. All under the fixated look of Lucy Gray. Who kept singing but the feeling on her chest made her uneasy.

The necklace doesn’t appear.

“It was just a necklace. But…” you sigh, leaning against the wall of the alley. Just a golden chain, no pendant, nothing.

Coriolanus can only see your features under the moonlight, ignoring the necklace issue. You have a beautiful dress under an oversized cardigan. With or without the necklace, you look gorgeous.

“It was a present. From my sixteenth birthday”

“Have mine.” You look at him before giggling. He takes his tag, a silver chain with his name on it. The young man thinks you would like him even more by offering his tag to you. He wants you to become closer to him. But the offer could be seen as wrong.

“I can’t take it, Coryo” he gets closer and the proximity makes you avoid his eyes. Only to land your vision on his hand taking yours.

He slips the tag in your palm, it’s still warm.

This is the most intimate moment you’ve shared with him. And you don’t know how to feel about it.

“At least until you get a new necklace” he suggests, offering a little smile. You can see he has no moles around his face, barely visible freckles maybe. His skin is very clear and his lips…

As you’re too focused on analysing his face, you accept the chain. And for some reason, you let him play with your cold fingers.

“Until then…” he leans closer, and the air suddenly feels fogged. It could be just another humid summer night.

But no, it was because Coriolanus Snow was less than two inches away from kissing you.

His free hand was ready to land behind your neck, just to slightly push you towards him and finally discover what your lips felt like.

“Where were you two?…” the side door of the hob opened. And like two volts, you and Coriolanus separate from each other. You grasp his tag tightly around your hand in a fist.

Lucy Gray had seen the interaction.

“Just looking for y/n’s necklace,” Coriolanus said first, walking away from you.

“Oh. Well, we were just waiting for you two. They want to start a round with beers” the girl said, rolling her eyes and giggling, pretending very well.

“Let’s go then…” Coriolanus walked past her, smiling at her like nothing happened. You tried to do the same. But Lucy Gray grabbed your forearm, stopping you from entering the hob behind the young man.

“Say the truth. Are you falling in love with him?” You frown, slightly irritated at the question.

“Of course not. I barely know him.” You replied a little too harshly. She nodded, silently believing you.

“You know I’ll never be the woman who wrecks a relationship.” She takes your word a little wounded. Seeing how you enter the hob quietly.

She just stares at the sky. You had been a good friend and she trusted you. Lucy Gray was having a little crisis. She questioned at that very moment if she actually loved Coriolanus.

Certainly not. She didn’t trust him at the beginning. Seeing him almost kissing you, was making her not trust him at the end. And Lucy Gray knew. You were so loyal to ever intentionally get involved in some affair. You preached to Not do what you don’t want to happen to you.

But the truth is that you would wreck a relationship. Unintentionally, but twice.

…

It was you who discovered a pomegranate tree near The Covey House. The branches were long and the season of pomegranates was until late summer, but somehow, in August, the tree was blossoming a couple of red beats.

Near the house, the nomad group had built some locations to make their lives easier. Like some stations to wash clothes and eat. Maude Ivory was sick, she started with a sore throat and she developed a stomach infection later. So you suggested picking their laundry. And since you spent more time with The Covey rather than your family, it wasn’t rare for Coriolanus to find you folding some dresses that were once hanging on a tightrope between two trees.

He stepped on a branch and it made you jump startled.

“Gosh! You scared me!” you squeaked after seeing Coriolanus standing there with his peacekeeper uniform. He grinned, leaving his little backpack on the table. He spotted a little basket filled with pomegranates.

“You picked all this?” He asked, pointing at the basket.

“Yes. It was a big surprise to see pomegranates in August. They start their season at the end of the month or September.”

“I never thought you would be that kind of girl?” You frowned laughing, turning back to fold the dresses into another basket.

“What kind, Coriolanus?” Shortly after, you know he is behind you. You can feel his breath in the nape of your neck, and it sends shivers to your spine.

“The kind who climbs trees and folds laundry while singing” your cheeks immediately go red. He had heard you sing previously.

“You heard me?”

“Indeed. Very pretty voice,” he said after sensing how embarrassed you were.

“I don’t sing. And you really shouldn’t be here. Lucy Gray was looking for you” You state firmly. Realising how much anyone could misinterpret the situation if they find you almost tangled up with Coriolanus Snow behind you.

“She was gone when I arrived here.”

“Oh…” you say, taking the basket with the laundry. When Coriolanus sees that you are also going to grab the one with the pomegranates, he stops you.

“Let me help you…” he takes the one with the fruit.

“Thank you.” He grabs your hand again, and it makes you weak. But you remember your dear friend. And the loyalty you preach.

“You can’t do this, Coryo. Not to her, not you. And not to me…” he sighs. Honestly, he didn’t want to hurt either one. But it was you who he was always trying to describe. It was you making him laugh so much. And it was you who made him feel like… home. Like…Capitol.

“You make me feel different.” You roll your eyes.

“And how did she make you feel in the first place?” They met at the Capitol. While you prayed for Lucy Gray’s survival at the Hunger Games. Boys could be liars.

“Lucy Gray made me feel like I had an option away from home.”

“But… you make me feel like I can have both. I can have this…” he says looking down at the pomegranates and folded laundry.

“And also… what I had there.” You have to look away. You see the trees and how some leaves fall because of the breeze.

“You’ll have to choose one day…” he nods, but he’s so close to you. He can see every detail of your delicate face. So as much as he tries to resist the urges, he ends up leaning closer. Your lips brush his and it’s magical. You really want to kiss him too.

“Doesn’t have to be today. Right?” His comment makes you almost retreat. And before you can walk away he pulls you to his chest again, finally kissing you.

He’s soft, yet passionate and intense. His right-hand finds comfort in the back of your neck while the other lands on your chin, deepening the kiss. For you, it’s an automatic response to put your arms around his neck.

As the kiss turns more desperate, the hand on your chin ends up pushing your lower back and you have to suppress a moan when you feel the clear outline of his manhood poke at your lower belly and part of your pelvis. It’s not enough to the fire you both initiated, but you have to stop.

Both of you pant for air and somehow he ends up smiling.

“Until the day you choose. This never happened.” You say firmly, but slowly, and you also smile at him.

Your smile was enough to keep him calm on the way back. Unconsciously, both of you feel like silly kids. Shyly walking side by side with baskets in your hands.

“So you couldn’t swim?” Coriolanus asks after some minutes walking to The Covey House.

“I couldn’t. Most of my family is from District 4. It’s embarrassing, to be honest.” He assumed you were also from there. And he couldn’t help but think that District 4 was closer than the 12 from the Capitol. Immediately he brushed away the thought.

“But Lucy Gray taught me. Kind of a violent teacher, but it was still great” you admit laughing. And Coriolanus was blushed. Surprisingly, he found himself on the verge of being jealous. Yes, of Lucy Gray teaching you how to swim.

Through the trail, one of the boys from The Covey appears, he looks too sweaty and tired, gasping and desperate.

“Y/N! Is Maude. She has a lot of fever and we don’t know what to do” You immediately worry, starting at a faster pace, followed by Coriolanus.

“Where is Lucy Gray?” You ask. The boy shrugs guiding you to their home.

“We don’t know. She’s nowhere near.” You sigh.

As soon as you make it inside, you find the girl lying on a couch, sweating and panting. Your heart broke as you kneeled beside her.

“Maude? You are going to be fine.” She seems to have identified you and slowly nodded.

Coriolanus follows you as you run to their improvised kitchen. You mix some herbs and boil them with water.

“Coryo, please hand me the honey.” He looks around to see a glass with honey and hands it to you.

And then, Coriolanus swears he fell in love with you as you treated Maude Ivory, immediately making her rest.

…

One night, Lucy Gray is oddly quiet. You know something’s up. So when you gently caress her shoulder, she lets out a long breath before spilling everything.

“Coriolanus shot Billy Taupe and the mayor’s daughter.” Your eyes widened, before letting a shocked gasp.

“What?” Lucy Gray nodded, confirming the facts to you.

“He did it to protect me and Sejanus. But…”

“This is bad. You know how this district is. Rumours will spark, the people will talk…” you spiral about it too panicked.

“I don’t want you nor Coriolanus to get in more trouble. What if-“

“It’ll be fine. We’ll be safe…” she hugs you, hearing how you tried to hide your sobs from her. She continues to share what happened and where the murder weapon was. She encourages you to keep the secret and play pretend until the waters soothed.

The waters only get worse. Like the tides form hours before a tsunami. After a peaceful morning, you find Lucy Gray at the market. You eat half a sandwich with her and you share that your mother was worried about the rumours. Including the fact that the authorities were starting to turn their heads towards Lucy Gray. She acts calm and used to have people talking about her. But being accused of murder was something different.

And it only gets worse when you two get closer to the chaos. Where Sejanus Plinth and the man who hid the murder weapon were hanged for treason. Lucy Gray takes your hand as you cover your mouth in shock.

You are able to see Coriolanus. The panic on his face is evident enough to make you feel uneasy. And that’s when Lucy Gray plans something.

You listen to her tell Coriolanus about leaving the districts. There are feelings of nausea, sadness, and stress washing all over you. That is abruptly cut by the couple turning to see you.

“Did you listen, y/n?” Lucy Gray asks. You stay quiet.

“Come with us. Please” she adds. You look at Coriolanus. His face doesn’t express anything, but he really wants you to agree. He knows it is a bad idea, he knows that is dangerous. But he wants to have you too.

You have plenty of reasons to stay. A little family, a home, a future. Which was certainly unsure for your dear people. They had nothing to lose.

Half of you were unsure, afraid of growing up and not being able to make it. So you had two options. And you weren’t ready to make a decision.

“Please, y/n. You’re my best friend. I can’t make it without you” Time never passed apparently. Lucy Gray and Coriolanus were still looking at you, waiting for some answer.

Your tongue gets loose before you can’t think clearly.

“I’ll come.” Coriolanus sees how the girl hugs you tightly. And he knows there’s no way back. He doesn’t know what to expect about this.

After agreeing to meet in the hanging tree, the three of you part separate ways.

You don’t think much about it. Because if you did, you would start analysing, and probably you would stay.

Coriolanus is too busy in the barracks to even remember. But he can’t help to think about you and Lucy Gray in a balance, knowing he was lingering too much on your side.

And Lucy Gray understands that in the long term, you’ll either grow old seeing her and Coriolanus being together. Only if it didn’t turn out the other way, where Coriolanus ended up taking you and it was Lucy Gray who would have to bear it.

Either way. She would leave with the only two humans he could trust. Or so she believed.

…

Your boots are dusted. You stare at them, a bitten prune in your right hand a little knife in the other. The way he grabs her chin makes you feel uncomfortable… and jealous.

Coriolanus didn’t kill his old self. That was for sure. You have your own theories, but you refuse to add gasoline to the fire. Not when you have made it outside of District 12.

“Not the best time to throw allusions, Coryo,” you say walking past them, separating the couple. You hoped to have soothed the tension. But you knew Lucy Gray had decreased her trust in the boy.

“You’re right. Sorry…” Coriolanus accepts looking at Lucy Gray. Then to you and your silly headscarf, your long silk dress, and fishing dark jacket.

“We really needed her. Right?” Lucy Gray throws the words, making Coriolanus frown confused. And that’s when he questioned if the girl also had some feelings for you, other than being best friends. Because the way he was on the verge of smiling at the sight of you was the same way she was looking at you.

“She will prevent us from killing each other” he attempted to joke.

“Or be the reason why we kill each other,” Lucy Gray said. Coriolanus disliked the comment.

And so on, for the rest of the walk, it’s you making the air lighter. Your smiles made Coriolanus forget the offer of moving to District 2. Even the situation where his grandmother and Tigris were in. But Lucy Gray reminded him of his errors and his new upcoming country life. Your random comments about plants that are poisonous and others that work as medicine or aphrodisiacs make Lucy Gray blush and keep focused. Knowing that having you by her side was a good sign.

You lean to pick some violet flowers, and both Lucy Gray and Coriolanus look at each other to then look at you.

“Medicine, poisonous or…?” You giggle, noticing how Lucy Gray was avoiding saying the word.

“Saffron. An aphrodisiac, actually,” you answer, looking at her blush and Coriolanus’ little smirk.

“Some threads of this with warm milk or wine and…” Coriolanus can’t help but laugh briefly. You ignore the way he looks at you. The cheeky look he offered you and how you evidently looked away, blushed.

Lucy Gray caught a glimpse of your necklace. She stopped blushing as soon as she looked carefully. It was Coriolanus’ tag. Dangling between your breasts and shining under the last rays of the sun. It was getting cloudy. Likely, a humid rain was coming.

“I’ll take the lead from here.” Lucy Gray says, her tone a little more cold.

She starts walking away and Coriolanus takes the opportunity to help you stand up.

“You should take some…” when you understand what he meant, you punch his arm.

“You’re insane, Snow” he laughs and cynically goes to trace your face with one of the flowers.

“I think I’ve made my decision.” You turn to look at Lucy Gray, who’s even further then. Then back to the blonde guy with gorgeous blue ocean eyes.

You don’t want to hurt her. Lucy Gray deserved better. But you couldn’t deny that if the days kept passing, you would completely and blindly fall in love with Coriolanus Snow.

“We won’t do anything about it. Yet…” you say, sliding a little bunch of the violet saffron flowers inside your bag. Coriolanus shakes his head. There’s a big smile on his face, returning to walk before he jumps there to kiss you.

…

When the rain starts you decide to find the lake. Under the rain, the dark underwater conditions made it desirable to fish. Fish were more active and hopefully, you would be able to bring something to have for dinner that night. The cabin was very near. Coriolanus stayed there and Lucy Gray came to the lake with you. She was quiet, watching how your feet were underwater, and you sank a sharp branch constantly.

“I have one!” You happily yelled, watching how the poor animal squirmed.

When you leave it in a little bag with Lucy Gray, she stops you.

“Lucy Gray?”

“I swear I won’t ask again. But please be honest, y/n.” She starts and it makes you frown confused. You drop the branch, waiting for her question.

“Do you love him?” She finally asks.

You remain quiet. But you keep your word.

“I don’t know…”

She nods, looking at the damn tag on your neck. She should’ve known.

“That doesn’t mean I’ve been acting behind your back or that I will” you add. Because it’s true. None of your encounters with Coriolanus were set by you. It was he who always looked out for you.

“Not yet.” She spits, giving you a harsh look. You sigh, tilting your head, hands on your hips.

“Are we going to ruin everything for a man?”

“I don’t know. Are you?” She asks with a sarcastic smile.

“I won’t do this, Lucy Gray. And you shouldn’t either. Not when we’ve come this far already.” You say looking away from her, grabbing the branch, and walking away.

“Alright. I’m going back to the cabin. See you there?” She asks to surrender.

“Sure.” You hear her footsteps leaving. And you can finally breathe, your eyes water and you question everything.

The long days working with The Covey, helping them to make handicrafts to sell at the market. The nights laughing nonstop with Lucy Gray and giving her to drink when she shouldn’t, how she braided your hair and caressed you. All the good performances she gave and how good the celebrations were.

Then the days you were able to have long walks with Coriolanus, getting to know little but something about his life at the Capitol. The nights you sneaked at the barracks, and both spent hours drinking and saying silly things. The soft touches he started giving you. How he cared for you and always wanted you to be okay.

You realise they are the most important people in your life outside of your family. They are the strongest connections you’ve ever made. And you didn’t have the heart to ruin it or sacrifice it.

Those thoughts are long gone after you hear some shooting. You drop the branch again and you start running towards the cabin. You forget your boots and the fish. It’s the panic of knowing something bad has happened that reigns in your head. Some dry leaves hurt your bare feet but you don’t care.

You literally jump the stairs of the cabin. And once you open the door, you spot Coriolanus with the rifle in one hand. A knife on the other. That forbidden rifle.

You see some dry blood in his arm. An evident bite was there.

“What happened?” You rush to inspect his arm.

“Snakebite” but he’s fast enough to turn and start giving you pecks across the face. And once his lips brush your chin, you can’t take it anymore.

Neither him, he finally kisses you like he never ever did.

It’s desperate. While you kiss him back, many questions keep flooding your head. And you can’t fully concentrate on his lips. So you back away.

“Where’s Lucy Gray?” He remains quiet. Slowly, you look down. Until your eyes land on the rifle. You start walking backward, shaking your head. Tears forming again.

“No…” you whisper as he tries to get closer to you again. Coriolanus wants to scream and tell you everything is going to be okay. But he knows it’s not true. He sees how you’re starting to look shocked. And he realised how smart you were, how fast you connected the dots.

He makes you sit on the creaky chair of wood. He offers you a dark brown glass, where he pours some of the water. Slowly, you take the glass, hoping to calm yourself with some water.

Once you drink a sip, you see a crushed berry. Quickly you spit the water, throwing the glass as it shatters into the floor.

It was a Lily of the Valley, a poisonous berry.

“YOU POISONED ME!” You scream. He opens his eyes and enters in panic.

“No, y/n. It was an accident!” The urge to run increased. Probably what your dear Lucy Gray tried to do. It makes you finally cry.

That crushed berry was an accident. Coriolanus told Lucy Gray to wait for you, to prevent cooking anything that was poisonous from your collection.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” He stops you, and as soon as he touches you, your reaction is violent. You keep squirming, trying to run away from him.

He drops the rifle, but the hand with the knife keeps dangerously brushing your temple. And Coriolanus wants to stop fighting so badly, worried that he could hurt you even more. Also, he panics as he knows the poison could be spreading.

He can’t be alone. You were his remaining hope.

“PLEASE STOP, Y/N!” But you don’t.

“YOU KILLED HER! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Suddenly both of you stop. You touch your face and your whole palm is covered in blood.

Another thing Coriolanus never meant to. The knife had made a deep cut, and the scarlet kept flowing from that side of your face, covering your silk dress with spots.

“It was an accident. Y/n…please”

An accident… he wanted to kill you.

You run. You run as fast as you can. Towards the lake, wherever. As long as you could be away from Coriolanus.

He runs too, he chases you. Making you feel like his prey. You try to ignore the fear that keeps building up. You ignore the blood threatening your vision from the left eye.

“STOP, Y/N!” Coriolanus screams.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” But you don’t stop, you reach the old wooden platform at the lake. The rain splashing against the surface of the lake is loud, but not enough to silence your sobs of anger, fear, and pain.

Coriolanus also fears. He knows he’s a monster, but he didn't want to be one around you. Maybe it was his karma. He believed Lucy Gray placed his mother’s scarf on top of that snake. You believed he had purposely placed the crushed Lily of the Valley at the bottom of that glass.

He keeps running, you won’t go anywhere in that wood thing.

You turn to see him. And it destroys him. Your face and drenched dress. All covered in blood and rain. Your red and swollen eyes. He had broken you in less than twenty minutes.

And looking at his eyes was your ending. Because you slipped. Coriolanus saw how your weak body fell into the water and he ran faster.

But he didn’t jump. It was too late.

Soon he realised your body would never make it to the surface.

He cried, he screamed in that lake. He fell on his knees and cursed at the way things happened. He lost his head when Lucy Gray was gone, and he returned even more stressed as he thought you had also run away. But you came straight to his arms, hoping to see everyone was fine. And he just kept cursing, wishing he had given you a different glass.

Some minutes later, he goes back to the cabin. He takes the rifle carefully wrapped with a blanket and takes a raft.

As he lets the rifle sink into the lake, he wonders where your body had ended up. But he accepts it was probably better to let you rest peacefully underwater than disturb you.

In his head, he truly fell in love with you. Lucy Gray had been an enigma for most of the time, only to reveal her true nature in her final moments. And you, Coriolanus realised you were the real mystery.

Just like your death.

He took all the flowers you had collected and sprinkled the lake with them. His eyes watered once again. Thinking about what could’ve been. And after a minute of silence, he leaves. The lake, the cabin, the outsides of the districts.

With two remaining memories; Lucy Gray’s earring and a single saffron flower you promised to give it a try with him.

Coriolanus swears that he actually needed you. But you’re gone.

…

Ending up back in the Capitol makes Coriolanus feel like Lucy Gray’s death was worth it, actually. But yours makes him feel guilty. He could’ve asked you to come with him. To forget about everything that happened on the 12 and start a new life. With the Plinth fortune and Gaul’s help on his side, Coriolanus accepts the only missing piece is you.

The saffron flower rested between the pages of his journal, now dry. But the color was vivid as the day it blossomed.

Coriolanus is a new man. Who had let go of his past, but not the memory of you. He mourns your death the first week he comes back home. And he tells his grandmother that from now on he will only wear her white roses.

A symbol of peace, hope, and innocence. Which he had lost a long time ago. But it reminded him of you. Especially the hope, which was what you took away from him when you died.

So he accepts the invitation from the annoying childish girl Livia Cardew. The golden blonde was always a shy yet smiley girl in class. But Coriolanus never paid much attention to her. Until he learned Livia’s older cousin was a famous and respected politician. So he agreed to come with her to the Inauguration Day. President Ravinstill was too depressed and down after his son died at the hands of a rebel attack. So he had to retire. And Coriolanus knew it was a great opportunity to look out for contacts and form new comrades.

“You look amazing,” Tigris said, brushing her cousin’s shoulders, inspecting his dark blue suit.

“Maybe because you did this,” Coriolanus said, happy to see the young woman smiling again. After the bittersweet comment of saying he looked like his father, there had been a shift.

“With some help,” she says, admitting all the hard work was not from her hands. Now she had a little atelier where she had help and started new fashion trends at the Capitol.

“Even so, you designed it. Thank you, Tigris” he smiled at her.

“Are you still going with that girl?”

“Livia? Yes… Why?” He asked, looking at himself in the mirror.

“I don’t think she’s the one Coryo. She’s a child” Tigris admitted, arms crossed and avoiding looking at the man.

“She’s my age, Tigris.”

“Still… allow me to say this but, she doesn’t seem to be what you need” Coriolanus sighed. Of course, Livia Cardew wasn’t what he needed, she just had some contacts and a good reputation from her family. But they had nothing in common.

Coriolanus Snow needed you. An alleged district woman, who didn’t even know her last name or background. Just the sweet girl who seemed to be the remedy for all aches.

“I know she’s not the one” and Tigris knew there had been someone else than her cousin’s tribute. Something else happened. But she wouldn’t ask him.

“Listen, I’m just going with her to the inauguration, but this doesn’t mean I’ll take her for granted,” he says, pushing away his memories from you.

“Say goodnight to Grandma’am for me, please” Tigris nods, briefly smiling once again before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck.

The celebration had been very ostentatious. With a lot of people cheering for the new president. He seemed young, with a mature beautiful wife. There was a rumour that he was District 4 governor and was Mr. Ravinstill's best friend. That said a lot about why District 4 was wealthier than District 2 or three compared to before.

Nonetheless, the Capitol’s citizens seemed to be embellished by this new president who promised a new start for everyone in Panem.

Soon after the Inauguration Ceremony, only the wealthiest and finest members of the Capitol were invited to continue the celebration in a mansion near the hills. The view was amazing and the remaining minutes of the sunset were gorgeous up there.

Coriolanus had barely tasted from his posca. After you, he started to pay more attention to poison. He saw some classmates, like Festus, Clemensia, Vypsania, Hilarius, etc. A side of him wants to get closer and say hi, but Livia appears beside him, eating a little pastry.

“Imagine living here and being able to see this view every morning, evening, and night.” She says. Coriolanus hates her purple dress and red lipstick. As he thought, Livia was ridiculously trying to look mature.

“It’s a great view.” He replies coldly. The city was finally looking brighter, modern, and illuminated.

He turned to see the profile of the girl and noticed she had some cream on her chin.

“You have some-“ Livia understands and quickly wipes it away, smiling at him. She was pretty, but not his type.

“Better?”

“Yes.” The crowd suddenly starts talking, capturing the couple’s attention. So when both Livia and Coriolanus turn towards the mansion, they see two peacekeepers opening the doors from the biggest balcony. And the new man who had the crown of president appeared, followed by his wife. And then what seemed to be his family.

The guests started a round of applause, looking up from the giant patio. Coriolanus finally took a little sip of his drink.

“Dear friends and honourable guests. It is my joy to say that the inauguration ceremony was a success. My family and I feel extremely blessed and thankful for all the support we have received” the man started his speech. Coriolanus was mentally taking notes. As that was the man he would literally have to beg to become the Capitol’s governor one day. And hopefully, then become president.

“This is going to be a period of change, evolution, and a new start for the history of Panem. I look forward to meeting all the involved staff and personnel to make this real” he sounded honest, yet, like a dangerous species that you had to be careful around.

“For now, I’d like to introduce my sweet and dedicated daughter, who shall not be judged by her young age. But to be admired for the position I’m giving her, as chief of staff.” it was able to be heard on the microphone. He said the name, but no one heard.

And the first thing Coriolanus saw between the lines of the railing were some weird heels and the layers of a tulle dress.

Then a satin top with some soft knitted sweater, with shiny buttons. A delicate golden necklace and some dark brick red lips.

Coriolanus Snow almost dropped his glass. His face went pale and Livia had to borrow the glass from him.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly. Coriolanus nodded, but he had an evident nausea forming.

“Y/n. Come here, darling…” the new president said with a smile. Putting an arm around his daughter, proud of showing her off.

The president’s daughter was you.

He couldn’t believe it. He saw your body drowning. You drank poison, and the cut on your temple. How could you have survived?

That didn’t matter. There you were with a shy smile. Innocence is long gone. Coriolanus only saw the mystery, the danger in your face.

Seeing you there, breathing, as much as he wanted to have you alive before, was going to curse his existence.

“A toast for everyone here. To begin this new era with the right feet!” Your father said, raising his glass.

Everyone did it then.

“For the president!” The guests cheered in unison.

Fireworks started, making everyone turn to the sky. Even Livia walked a little past Coriolanus, but he stood there looking at the balcony. Eyes set on you.

You spotted him. And it stopped your world.

He looked even more beautiful than he did in 12. Longer hair, perfect weight gained. Clean and elegant suit. Now you know everything about him. And it broke your heart. You had healed through the trauma of what happened in the lake. Nobody knew, besides you and him.

You hoped to keep it that way. But you had no compassion left for a man like Coriolanus Snow. Who killed your best friend, almost killed you, and loved you the wrong way.

You knew he would be scared to see you alive. He would end up begging on his knees at the slight error he committed. He would have many questions, that time would answer for him.

Your days of being a loyal and sweet girl were gone. Coriolanus had stripped you bare from any trace of trust, unconditional love, and innocence.

You stare at him, and he looks shocked. He looks so scared and… frail. So you greet him back with a smile, sipping at your glass one last time, before looking up at the fireworks.

He really thought that it was the end.

____________________________________

Minitaglist: @rockstarbfs @gracieroxzy @il0vebeingdelulu @coconut-dreamz @angelscrime @maryvibes @justacaliforniandreamer

part two? yey or nay?

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

ik the post was from like a week ago but would like to hear your thoughts on jackie and the prescription drug thing because it really isnt discussed!

Absolutely. Jackie has prooooblems and I really wish they were more openly talked about in the fandom.

So there are at least three references to Jackie abusing prescription drugs in canon. I forget what the third is (I might be misremembering it but I'm pretty sure it's there), but the first two are in "Pilot" and "Blood Hive". The reason why Shauna is asleep during the flight is that Jackie has given her Valium, a benzo (its generic name is diazepam) that in the 70s through 90s was commonly prescribed for anxiety and to an extent still is. What's remarkable about this is the casual way everyone involved treats it; this is consistent in how Shauna and Jackie themselves talk about Jackie's drug use, but the scene also establishes that even Jackie's mother doesn't seem to see any need to monitor her teenage daughter's access to her pills. As Jackie puts it, "Swiped these from my mom's medicine cabinet. Valium. She's got, like, a never-ending supply, so I doubt she'll even notice."

A series of questions already arises here, all of which the show is fascinatingly uninterested in answering, possibly because the screenwriters share Shauna and Jackie's flippant attitude (which is generational, as I'll discuss below) but, I think, likely also because what's implied about the Taylor household here is more disturbing if it's not spelled out. Why does Mrs. Taylor have that much of a med lying around at all times? Has Jackie taken the Valium before? If so, why and how often? (Does she, perhaps, use it to get through sex acts with Jeff?)

The second time this comes up is in the scene in which Shauna and Jackie are discussing their respective Wilderness skills as Shauna butchers one of Nat and Travis's first quarries. Almost everyone in the fandom has favorite bits of this scene, which is full of fantastic Shaunajackie lines and moments, so it's surprising to me that this isn't discussed more, but again, the breathtakingly casual delivery probably goes some way towards distracting the viewer from what's actually being communicated. (It could also be that the line in question here comes immediately before "Wowza, Shipman," which understandably steals the show):

Shauna: Remember when Kiffy Schumacher broke her arm right before we were supposed to go to Whipsplash River, and you told her that if she shared her Percocet, we'd all crash bingo at the Elks Lodge instead? Jackie: Wait. Is this a pep talk? Wowza, Shipman. Wow, that is so not your style.

Uh. Girls? You okay there? "Poppin' Percs" is something Kendrick Lamar accused Drake of earlier this month. The company that makes this drug is currently being pounded in court by the Attorneys General of Ohio, Mississippi, Missouri, New York, and possibly other states too since the last time I checked. You're talking about like it's Pez.

Percocet is a mixture of oxycodone, which is an opioid, and paracetamol, which is a common over-the-counter painkiller (it's called acetaminophen in the US and a few other countries; it's the active ingredient in Tylenol and Panadol). Unlike Valium, oxy is something I've been on in the past--I, like Kiffy Schumacher, had a badly fucked-up arm a few years ago--so I can speak to how it's currently treated in American medical culture. You're given a very small amount of it at once, you pace yourself taking it and alternate it with over-the-counter painkillers unless absolutely necessary, and if you have any left over when you decide you no longer need it, which I did, you surrender whatever pills you still have on you to the police. I know that the current widely accepted view on drug control is that it's wildly overdone in the US, and I agree with that for the most part, but in this case the tight controls on this sort of painkiller are a regulation that was written in blood. And the opioid epidemic is still ongoing; in fact, in some ways it's worse, since people are using black-market opioids now that are even more dangerous than oxy and its ilk.

I do want to stress that Jackie's pattern of drug use isn't unusual for a teenager; in fact, it's pretty classic. "Adolescents....most commonly reported receiving prescription[s] for free from a friend or relative, although significant proportions of adolescents also used their own prescriptions, purchased drugs from a dealer, or took them from friends or family without asking." (The article linked cites data taken in 2006, when the prescription drug abuse epidemic on whose upward slope Jackie lives had plateaued.) I also want to clarify that the cavalier attitude Shauna and Jackie have towards prescription drugs isn't unique to this category of substances; teenagers in the 1990s were much more blasé about controlled substances in general than they are today, and adolescent prescription drug abuse has declined less than most other categories:

(Note the especially massive drop-off in adolescent cigarette use after the turn of the millennium. Lottie in her kinderwhore-meets-Empire Records party outfit diffidently holding a cig is very much an image from the past these days. And yet this isn't entirely a success story; adolescents who are still engaging in substance abuse are OD'ing a lot more than they were thirty years ago.)

I don't really have a conclusion here, because I just want to encourage the fandom to discuss this aspect of Jackie's character, not necessarily to adopt any particular narrativization or interpretation of it. This, then, is the basics on Jackie and prescription drugs. Poor girl.

[livlaughloveluke]

Hey!! Can u write a story inspired by “Snow on the beach” with Taylor and Lana ofc bc they r the music industry. Love ya!!

𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡- 𝐞.𝐥

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: when you and ethan fall for each other, a new feeling that only can be described as snow on the beach emerges

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none

𝐚/𝐧: i love lana and taylor so yk i had to fill this request! if you requested something earlier, i am working on it now! also this should be gender neutral, but its my first time writing for a gn reader so I might have messed up! 💗💕

you walked down the dimly lit street with your friends, while having an amazing time. however, something inside you still felt empty. you wanted someone you love you the way you had loved others. you had a couple partners in the past years, but most were hookup buddies or toxic, if we’re being honest.

unbeknownst to you, across the empty street, was a man who had been craving love, the same way you did. he walked behind his friends, who were in seemingly perfect relationships. his roommate chad was laughing with tara, while mindy was holding hands with anika. sam was absent from their meetup, probably with her boyfriend, danny.

as fate would have it, the two strangers would see each other again in the near future.

tara and you had met through a shared class, and quickly became good friends. one friday, during study period, she invited you to a frat party that she was attending with her friends later that night. you agreed, and soon you were laughing your asses off, half drunk, while walking to the house it was hosted at. 

chad had seen you around campus, and your kind-hearted personality and gorgeous looks made him think you and ethan were a perfect match. once he heard you were showing up to the party with tara, he knew he had to set you and ethan up. 

the two boys waited for you and tara’s arrival. chad had told ethan about you, and ethan immediately recognized your name. you were extremely intelligent, and he had plenty of classes with you. he doubted that you would even look his direction, but chad begged to differ. he spent the next few minutes hyping ethan up, until you arrived.

tara looked around the crowded rooms of the building, searching for her boyfriend. once she spotted him, she grabbed your wrist and dragged you with her. the house was filled with drunk, sweaty college students, and the aroma made you gag. 

“chad!” tara exclaimed, letting go of your hand to enthusiastically hug him. “this is my friend y/n!” 

you look at the boys, and are immediately caught off guard by the taller ones beauty. you quickly introduce yourself to them, before meeting eyes with ethan.

“ethan, right? i think we have econ together.” you say, eagerly awaiting his response. he was surprised you knew his name, let alone recognized him. 

“uh, yeah! i’m pretty sure i’ve seen you around the school before.” he nervously responds, fidgeting with his hands. 

“mhm! if im being honest, I literally have no clue what we’re doing in that class.” you reply, trying to start a conversation. chad and tara look at each other with a smile, knowing you and the boy would be getting along well.

“oh, i could totally help! not to flex, but im pretty good at econ. i could help tutor you or something, i mean maybe if you wanted to.” he offers, and you smile and agree. you exchange numbers and begin studying together every tuesday and thursday. 

after a few weeks of strictly schoolwork, you start to hang out together more, as friends instead of tutor and tutuee. it started off as going out with the group, but you slowly began spending one on one time with each other.

you were currently having your first sleepover together, as friends of course. you and him were attempting to make homemade cookies, and lets just say it wasn’t going well. 

“eth, how much sugar did you pour into the batter…?” you ask, noticing the extreme sweetness while tasting.

“I don’t know, like four cups? thats what you told me.” he continues mixing, unaware of the situation.

“ethan!! i said two cups you dipshit!!” you say, now laughing at his silly mistake.

“what?! you did not!! i mean, it cant taste that bad, right?” he dips his finger in the sugary substance, and immediately regrets tasting it. he starts laughing too, to the point of tears. it really wasn’t that funny, but seeing you laugh just made him fill with joy.

truth was, he was falling for you. and he had a sneaky suspicion that you felt the same. however, this state of your relationship was heavenly, and he wouldn’t dare to ruin anything by attaching a label. 

he had never fallen in love with a person who truly loved him back, so this was very new to him. it was an ethereal experience, and he lacked the words to describe it.

if he had to however, he would compare it to snow on the beach. god it was weird, and yet somehow so beautiful. it was like watching a romantic movie, and he was the star. 

little did he know, soon you would start dating, and this unique feeling would never go away. in other words, the snow on the beach never seemed to melt.

taglist- @nowitsmissing, @nikoschrissis, @lvndryyhoe, @ieattoesforbreakfqst, @sevenheavxns, @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome, @imkillmyselfxoxo, @lumaxstans-blog, @ilovejackchampionnn, @hyeyulove, @jackchampiongf13, @sebastiansallowsgf, @michaelangdonsslut, @1212valee, @teenagedramaqueenlisa, @fherlima, @kate4katie, @itsb3a2, @maybankfr

some names wouldn’t let me tag :(

[ilythena]

Childhood friends to lovers with itoshi brothers and they leave us for soccer then comes back to us for a second chance with like a little bit of angst to fluff like the song "right where you left me" ❤️

·˚ ₊˚ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄.

Tags. ᯤ ignoring, sudden appearances, realizing feelings, kissing, some touchy touchy shit but not too much

A/N: YOU LEFT SO MANY IDEAS 😭. THANK U TBH CAUSE I WAS RUNNING OUT! Two things, I only did Rin because I’m not really sure how to write for sae, and Ion really listen to Taylor swift BUT hopefully I’ll do your asks justice !!!

𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 (りんいとし)

The day Rin left you was probably one of the saddest days of your life.

Your best friend suddenly wasn’t interested in you anymore. It was like he had changed into a completely different person once he started taking soccer seriously and it hurt you, he knew everything about you, how could he just up and change his mind like that?

Walking past him in the hallways was bad too, even when you both share a class and he’s always right there. You’ve never had to worry about being without Rin.

When he suddenly stopped showing up, you assumed he just moved away or found new ways to move around the school to stop seeing you.

But obviously that wasn’t the case when he was at your doorstep, drenched in rain on a Saturday night.

“Wha-“ “please let me in. It’s cold.” He shoves his wet body through yours and you look at him as if he had 3 heads. “Hold on. What the fuck? Rin.” You say as he makes his way to your bathroom. “Do you still have my clothes over here?” He shouts as soon as he closes the door shut, and you’re banging on it. “Um. I think so. But- we’re not gonna move past this!” He unlocks the door in an oversized black shirt and a pair of his grey sweats that he found in the corner.

“Move past what?” “You coming in here like nothing is wrong!” “What’s wrong?” You cannot believe what you’re hearing right now.

He moves to your room and lays down on your bed, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv. You slam the door shut behind you and he turns to you confused. “What’s wrong?” He asks again, and you’re ready to rip his head off.

“What’s wrong?! You ignored me for weeks, up and left, and now you’re back?! Where were you? Why was I ignored? What did I do?” You rant. And his sudden amnesia seems to magically clear up

“What’s wrong?! You ignored me for weeks, up and left, and now you’re back?! Where were you? Why was I ignored? What did I do?” You rant. And his sudden amnesia seems to magically clear up

He’s silent, and you’re still looking at him. “If you’re gonna be silent here too you can get the fuck out.” “Okay hold on, calm down a little” he says, sitting up and looking you in your eyes.

“Uh, I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, I have a reason, it’s just really embarrassing.” He mumbles but it’s loud enough for you to hear. Your shoulders drop, you’ve always had a soft spot for him.

“Rin.” You say, and he knows he’s gotta spit it out eventually. “Okay okay, so you know how I love football right? And I wanted to focus on it more, that’s why I ignored you the way I did.” You stare at him. Does he really think that’s a good reason? “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Rin looks at you with wide eyes. And you’re rolling yours. “If you wanted space all you needed to do was ask, Rin. That’s not a good reason to cut me off.” And he feels guilty, he didn’t know how else to go for it.

“Listen. This is really hard for me.” “Harder for you than it is for me?” And he shuts up, “where did you go? What if you died? Why was I ignored?!” “I just told you why” “give me a better answer Rin Itoshi!” And your throwing a pillow at him, but it’s no use because he catches it like it’s nothing to him.

“I realized I liked you okay? That’s why I ignored you.” Now it’s your turn to shut up. “I couldn’t focus on football with you around, you made me too nervous.” He mumbles, looking for YouTube on your TV. Your silence is making him anxious, he flickers his eyes to you every once in a while to make sure you’re still there. You sigh out a “Rin” and flop down on the bed.

He looks at you with a “what” and you just wanna smack him. “I like you too. I thought you realized it and that’s when you ignored me.” He laughs “ignore you because you like me? I would have been jumping up and down.” He whispers, and pulls you closer. You can feel his heart beat and it’s going pretty fast—yours is too though.

You stare into his pretty blue eyes and catch a slight blush on his cheeks when he catches you looking. “What?” He mumbles and you softly grab his chin and kiss him.

Takes him by surprise but it doesn’t take long for him to grab your waist and tilt his head to the side to deepen the kiss. You two stay like that for a minute, you laying on top of him with your hands in his hair and him having a hand on your waist and another on the small of your back.

[ellswritings]

Heart Monitor 1x06

Episode 7

To Fallon’s surprise, after her accident and spending pretty much all night in the hospital, when she returned home, Derek was still there. Pretty engrossed in his book to her delight. He was pretty concerned about her leg, which happened to be a clean break. He was furious when he found out what happened, but so was Stiles. It was interesting hearing them say pretty much the exact same thing without the other knowing. They both unknowingly agreed that Scott needs to step away from Allison to regain focus.

Stiles’ idea of getting Scott to understand his mistakes is by giving him the silent treatment. So sitting in their shared class, Fallon stares blankly at the white board, periodically writing down notes as Scott desperately tries to get them to talk to him. After a while she did start to feel bad. He has apologized incessantly since the accident and while Fallon did originally want to hit him with a car of her own, she slowly began to miss talking to him.

“Seriously?” Scott sighs upsetly. “You guys seriously are still not talking to me?” No response. “Fallon, you know how sorry I am. I mean, at least it was a clean break, right? My mom says they have a better chance at healing without complications.”

The girl looks down at the white cast covering her leg. He’s right, clean breaks do have a better chance at healing fully. She’s devastated though that she’ll have to sit out at lacrosse practice for the next couple of weeks, which is actually one of the main reasons she wanted to wring Scott’s neck. But knowing Coach, he’ll kill Scott before she does.

She reaches into her backpack, pulling out a small bottle of painkillers. She pops one into her mouth, chasing it with a sip of water. She didn’t do it as a way to make Scott feel bad, but seeing him hang his head in shame out of the corner of her eye did make her feel slightly vindicated.

“You know I feel really bad about it, right?” He tries once again. Fallon can hear the sadness in his voice. She glances at Stiles, seeing if he’s ready to give in yet. Freckles shakes his head, commanding her with his eyes to stand her ground. She huffs, dropping her head into her hand with a frown. Scott leans forward even further, tapping Fallon on the shoulder. “Okay. What if I told you that I'm trying to figure this whole thing out, and... that I went to Derek for help?”

Fallon’s head snaps towards Stiles faster than it ever has before. She makes a wild gesture with her hands, showing how desperately she wants to give her opinion on the matter. Stiles tries to stay strong, but the pleading look in her eyes causes him to groan. He exhales loudly out of his nose, “If I was talking to you, I'd say that you're an idiot for trusting im. But, obviously, I'm not talking to you…”

Fallon’s lip quirks up in a small smile. She lazily writes in her notebook, pretending not to care. “And if I was talking to you, I’d say that I’m proud of you for stepping up and getting help from someone who has more experience with this than you.” Stiles glares at her for complimenting him and she just shrugs. “It’s like the devil and angel on the shoulder thing,” she explains. “I’m the nice one.”

“Uh-huh,” Stiles narrows his eyes, “And I’ve kissed Taylor Swift.”

Scott smiles brightly as things seem to return to normal between the three for a moment. Her and Stiles make eye contact, faces going stoic for a split second. They wordlessly communicate, making Scott wonder how they learned to read each other’s facial expressions so well. Both of them turn around at the same time.

“What did Derek say?”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Walking out of their class together, Scott sticks to Fallon’s side which isn’t heavily unusual, but she’s used to him taking up Stiles’ side, not hers. Most of the time when they walk together, Stiles is in the middle while Fallon takes up his left and Scott his right. But now she’s in the middle. She doesn’t mind it, it’s clearly him feeling guilty over what happened. He even took her backpack from her before she could even grab her crutches. If this is the new treatment he’s giving her, she’s definitely not going to complain.

“Wh--? He wants you to tap into your animal side and get angry?” Stiles asks him incredulously after hearing what Derek said to Scott.

“Yeah…”

“All right, well, correct me if I'm wrong, but every time you do that, you try to kill someone, and that someone is usually us.” He gestures between Fallon and himself.

Scott sighs, “I know. That’s what he means when he says he doesn’t know if he can teach me. I have to be able to control it,” he explains.

Fallon tilts her head in thought, “I mean, it’s not impossible…” she admits. “I know it feels difficult right now, but Derek has control doesn’t he?” She points out with a shrug. “He obviously learned how to do it over time. I don’t think he came out knowing how to be a werewolf. While I do believe he came out with a leather jacket and angry cat face, I don’t think he came out being an expert on control.”

“How do you think he’s going to teach you?” Stiles asks, nodding along with Fallon’s statement.

“I don’t know,” Scott adjusts his backpack strap with an unsure expression. “I don’t think he does either…”

Stiles rolls his eyes at his friend's lack of knowledge, “Okay. When are you seeing him again?”

“He told me not to talk about it,” Scott answers. “Just act normal and get through the day.”

Fallon shoots him a pointed look, “When?” She asks, knowing there has to be a more specific time than that.

Scott looks at her, huffing as he knows he can’t keep anything from her after letting her get run over. “He’s picking me up at the animal clinic after work.”

Stiles nods, “After work. All right. Well, that gives us to the end of the school day then.”

Scott furrows his brows, “To do what?”

Stiles and Fallon make eye contact, smiling in unison, “To teach you ourselves.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

When lunch rolled around, Fallon was summoned by Lydia and Allison, the two girls wanting to see how she was doing after all that happened. Unfortunately, the conversation didn’t last long as Stiles strode by, grabbing her backpack and lunch tray and taking it over to their usual table. She watched after him, jaw agape while the other two girls just looked at her confused. He just stared at her, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for her to hobble over to him. Seeing as he wasn’t going to give up anytime soon, she bid her two friends goodbye before venturing over to him.

That brings them to the present moment, her smacking the back of his head for his rude behavior. “Y’know you could’ve just asked me to sit with you like a normal person,” she scolds, plopping down in her seat.

Stiles takes her crutches, putting them on his other side so they’re not in her way. “If I would’ve done that you would’ve just put your finger up and told me to wait,” he points out. “At least this way, you couldn’t tell me no,” he smiles innocently.

Fallon narrows her eyes but can’t prevent the grin that spreads across her face. She shoves him playfully, “Don’t look at me like that when I’m trying to be mad at you.”

“You’re not mad at me,” he rolls his eyes, popping a french fry from her plate into his mouth. “You can’t be mad at me. You love me too much. Your life would be so boring without me in it.”

“What you call boring most people would consider peaceful,” she shoots back sarcastically.

Stiles reaches over, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into him as he messes up her hair. The two of them roughhouse for a moment before Scott not-so-subtly slides into the seat across from them, clearly still avoiding Allison.

Fallon tilts her head, still stuck in Stiles’ lap. They stare at him as he hides his face behind one of his textbooks. The girl lifts an eyebrow, “I think using the book as a shield is making your intentions more obvious,” she says. “Besides, she’s not even looking over here. She seems pretty engrossed in whatever that book is about.”

Scott peeks over the pages, noticing that his somewhat girlfriend isn’t looking in his direction. He exhales, lowering the book but not straightening his posture to full height. “So, did you guys come up with a plan yet?”

Stiles nods, silently checking with Fallon. “We think so.”

He stares at them hopefully, “Does that mean you guys don’t hate me now?”

“No,” Fallon takes a spoonful of yogurt.

“No,” Stiles scoffs in agreement. “But your crap has infiltrated Fallon and I’s life, so now we have to do something about it,” he answers sassily. “Plus, I’m definitely a better Yoda than Derek.”

“I choose to take on a more Haymitch Abernathy role in this situation,” Fallon shrugs. “Drunkenly making sure my pseudo children don’t kill themselves,” she points at the two boys.

“Okay,” Scott nods with a small smile. “Yeah, you guys can teach me.”

“Yeah, I’ll be your Yoda,” Stiles smiles.

“Yeah, you be my Yoda.”

“Your Yoda I will be,” Stiles says in a gruff voice, trying his best to mock the character from the films. Fallon chuckles, shaking her head at how horrible it was. “I said it backwards,” Stiles laughs.

“Yeah, I-I know,” Scott nods slowly, showing how he still has never watched the movies, despite how many times Stiles has begged.

“All right, you know what?” Stiles gets up angrily, grabbing Fallon’s bag and crutches before helping her up. “I definitely still hate you. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.”

He storms off, Fallon huffing as she tries to keep pace. She shoots Scott an apologetic glance, but by the way Allison is approaching him, Stiles having a fit about Star Wars is the least of the werewolf’s worries.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Fallon’s theatre class had ended up being rather active for the girl’s current predicament. They were introducing new stretches and class bonding exercises to get everyone ready for the Beauty and the Beast production. She was upset that she couldn’t participate, but her teacher, Ms. Potter was more than understanding. She gave Fallon the script early, granting her a free period to read over it since she can’t do any of the activities in class.

So now she sits with a highlighter dangling from her mouth on the lacrosse field, her legs sprawled out. Her eyes gaze over the pages, writing small notes in her notebook about each character and what makes them tick. She briefly glances up as Stiles throws the equipment for Scott on the floor, looking at her with curiosity.

“What are you reading?” He asks, tossing his lacrosse bag at her to hold.

She catches it with ease, setting it down beside her. “The script for the play.”

“Oh,” he comments, not knowing it was that time already. “When are auditions?”

“Next week,” she sighs, rubbing her face. “I don’t think I’m gonna audition though. There’s just too much going on.”

Stiles looks at her incredulously, “What?” He shakes his head. “No, absolutely not. You have to audition.”

“Stiles–”

“Fall, you are so good at singing,” he huffs. “You can’t just not audition. That would be like a crime to everyone’s ear holes.”

She playfully glares at him, “While I appreciate the compliment, there will be other shows for me to do. Right now, my priority is here with you and Scott.” She leans back on her arms, “Plus, I’m kind of stretched thin as it is with lacrosse and school,” she opens up honestly. “My counselor is already talking about enrolling me in a college English course next semester, so I just want to focus on getting through high school… and not getting ripped apart by a werewolf in the process.”

He looks at her with sympathy, but ultimately understands where she’s coming from. “All right. Well, you know that Scott and I would go see every show if you did decide to do it.”

“I know,” she smiles appreciatively.

At that moment, Scott comes running out of the school and over to his two friends. He stops in front of them, “Sorry I’m late,” he apologizes. “It took me a minute to convince Mr. Smith to give me a free period,” he sets his backpack on the floor next to Fallon as well.

“It’s fine,” Stiles waves off hurriedly, grabbing something and handing it to Scott. “Okay. Now, put this on,” he commands.

Scott takes it, inspecting it with a confused look, “Isn’t this one of the heart rate monitors for the track team?” He queries, unsure of how it would benefit them.

“Yeah,” Stiles nods. “I borrowed it.”

“Stole it,” Fallon corrects nonchalantly, still observing the script.

Stiles speaks defensively, “Temporarily misappropriated,” he counters before turning his attention back to Scott. “Coach uses it to monitor his heart rate with his phone while he jogs, and you're gonna wear it for the rest of the day.”

Fallon shakes her head as Stiles pulls out a cellphone that definitely doesn’t belong to him. Scott’s jaw goes slack, “Isn’t that Coach’s phone?” He asks warily.

Stiles nods slowly, “That… I stole.”

“Why?” Scott looks at his friend, not even knowing where to start on labeling his issues.

“Because Master Yoda over here doesn’t understand the concept of rules,” Fallon smirks as Stiles looks more than offended. “Or laws, or personal boundaries. A side effect of your father being the sheriff.”

“Okay, I don’t want to hear it,” he puts his hand up in her direction. “Last time I checked, that father got you out of a speeding ticket last week when you were practically flying through a residential area like Wolverine in X-Men Origins.”

“That was a very specific comparison,” Fallon snickers.

“Anyway…” he sends Fallon a look that says to stop interrupting unless she plans on being helpful. He points to the monitor on Scott’s wrist, “All right, well, your heart rate goes up when you go wolf, right? When you're playing lacrosse, when you're with Allison, whenever you get angry... Maybe learning to control it is tied to learning to control your heart rate,” he carefully explains the theory him and Fallon had been talking about.

“Like the Incredible Hulk?”

Fallon shrugs, “Kind of like the Incredible Hulk, yeah.” She figures letting him think he’s a superhero will get him to try harder. It’s like Stiles and his unnatural fixation with becoming Spiderman. She lets him believe it could happen. At this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if it did. He definitely wouldn’t look half bad in the suit.

Scott smiles widely, “No, I’m like the Incredible Hulk!”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “Would you shut up and put the strap on?”

The spastic boy tosses Fallon the phone, assigning her to keep track of his heart rate. The two boys travel out to the center of the field, Stiles duct taping Scott’s arms behind his back. Freckles smiles mischievously at Fallon from behind Scott. She raises an amused eyebrow, knowing this is Stiles getting revenge for the brunette girl.

“This isn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my free period!” Scott complains as Stiles walks a few feet away, bending down to pick up his own lacrosse stick.

He blatantly ignores Scott’s words, “All right. You ready?” He asks, scooping a ball into his net.

“No.”

“Remember– don’t get angry,” Stiles warns him, cocking his arm back to launch the ball.

Scott shifts on his feet, eyeing Stiles unsurely. “I’m starting to think this was a really bad idea,” he voices.

Without another words, Stiles chucks the ball at Scott’s body, pelting him roughly. Fallon winces from her spot besides Stiles, glancing at the heart rate monitor. Still steady for now, only moving up one point. Stiles readies another ball, throwing it as hard as he can, nailing Scott in the chest.

“Oh, man!” The boy cries out. “Okay, that one kind of hurt.”

Fallon watches as a small satisfied smile makes its way onto Stiles’ face. He wiggles his eyebrows at her, offering his stick, “Wanna give it a go? It’s pretty therapeutic actually.”

“No!” Scott shouts with wide eyes. “Do not give her that stick.”

Stiles shushes him like a child, “Quiet. Remember, you’re supposed to be thinking about your heart rate, all right? About staying calm.” He reminds before smirking as he helps Fallon to her feet. He hands her the stick, looking Scott directly in the eye. He pats her back, helping her stay upright. “Give it a go.”

Scott starts muttering encouraging words to himself under his breath as Fallon adjusts her grip on the stick. She smoothly scoops up a ball, licking her bottom lip. She lifts the stick, throwing it roughly at her best friend. The ball collides harshly with his gut, making him double over in pain. It sounds like the wind has been knocked out of him.

“AHHH! Son of a bitch!”

“Nice!” Stiles chuckles, high fiving her. Scott shoots them an incredulous look which makes Stiles clear his throat awkwardly. He dismisses Scott, “Heart rate,” he points stiffly.

“What do you think I’m doing?!” Scott screams at them with a heavily clenched jaw.

Fallon goes to sit back down, noticing his number climbing higher with every passing second. She shares a warning glance with Stiles before looking at Scott again. “Don't get angry.”

“I’m not getting angry!” He responds frustratedly.

Stiles continues his assault on Scott as Fallon carefully monitors Coach’s phone. She begins to get nervous as she watches the numbers climb higher and higher. 140. 141. 142. That’s when Stiles knocks him in the jaw, making Scott almost fall to the ground in pain. The boy tries to regain his footing, “Stop. Just wait– Wait, just hold on–” he groans, doubling over once again, but this time he actually collapses to the floor.

157. 158. 159. 160.

“Stiles!” Fallon gets his attention, a cautionary gaze in her eyes as she flashes him the phone. Scott continues groaning as Stiles places his stick on the floor. Suddenly the duct tape around his wrist flies off in different directions. Stiles and Fallon watch him with wide eyes. He’s shifting. The heart monitor starts beeping rapidly, his heart rate reaching high numbers that are nowhere near healthy for a normal person.

“Scott?” Stiles calls out warily, trying to find a way to calm him down.

His breathing gets heavier and deeper after a moment as he clenches and unclenches his fists. Fallon glances back at the phone to see the numbers slowly decreasing and returning to normal. She and Stiles let out a breath they didn’t even know they were holding.

“That could’ve gone in a seriously horrific direction,” she mumbles to him.

Stiles nods slowly, helping Fallon to her feet. The two of them travel over to the boy who is still folded over on the ground. “Scott, you started to change…” Stiles says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Scott breathes heavily as his pulse is still returning to normal, “From anger,” he adds. “But it was more than just that– it was like, the angrier I got, the stronger I felt.”

“So Derek is right,” Fallon says thoughtfully. “It is anger that elicits a reaction.”

Scott shakes his head defeatedly, “I can’t be around Allison,” he says glumly.

“Just because she makes you happy?” Stiles questions.

“No…” he looks up at them sadly. “Because she makes me weak.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Fallon walks alongside Stiles as they walk into Coach’s economics class. The two of them snicker at a joke Fallon told him on the way in, earning a confused glance from their teacher. For how funny that man is, he sure doesn’t seem to be a big fan of laughter. The two teens just giggle again at his look of confusion before finishing their journey to the middle of the class. Stiles sets Fallon’s stuff down in the chair next to Scott’s, the two boys not having let her carry anything of her own all day. It was endearing and annoying at the same time, but she let them do it.

Stiles goes to sit behind Fallon, but a quick panicked look from Scott gets his attention. “Stiles. Sit behind me!” He whisper yells.

Fallon looks up and sees Allison beelining it for the exact same seat. Stiles scrambles to the side, trying to get all of his belongings and himself into the chair before she can. Unfortunately, he wasn’t fast enough. Allison smoothly slides into the seat, smiling at Scott as she completely ignores Stiles. Scott turns in his chair, a frown plastered on his face as his plan to avoid Allison is not going as well as he hoped.

Fallon shoots Scott a sympathetic smile before reaching in her backpack to bring out last night's homework assignment. It wasn’t anything too difficult. Just a few pages of reading and a couple of questions to help summarize the important parts.

The bell rings loudly, indicating the start of the period. Coach turns to start writing about today’s topic of discussion on the board. She watches out of her peripherals as Allison leans forward in her desk to get closer to Scott. The boy tenses, sensing her growing closer in proximity. Allison doesn’t seem to notice the awkward tension as she goes to talk to him.

“Hey,” she smiles happily. “I haven’t seen you all day.”

Scott barely looks back, “Uh, yeah. I’ve been, uh, super busy,” he looks at Stiles and Fallon for help.

His two friends shrug at his misfortune, Fallon sinking further into her chair to avoid watching this train wreck go down. Scott has a look of momentary desperation until he has to cover it up when Allison grows closer. “When are you gonna get your phone fixed? I feel like I’m totally disconnected from you.”

Yikes. Fallon’s phone buzzes with a text from Stiles.

She sneakily pulls it out, hiding it underneath her desk to respond. I don’t know if I should be embarrassed for her or for him.

She’s clueless and he’s awkward. Why can’t it be both?

True. She giggles at his reply. I feel bad. They’re both happy when they’re together. Sucks that they can’t be.

I mean, we don’t know that yet. Stiles counters.

He said she makes him weak. She reminds him.

Once he learns how to control it, it’ll be fine. He reassures her. We just gotta show him that he won’t hurt her. Or anyone else.

Yeah, ‘cause this gross couple-ey mutual pining crap is starting to get on my nerves. She rolls her eyes as Allison tells Scott she switched her lab partner to him. She loves them both together, she really does. But Fallon’s hopeless romanticism stops in the fictional worlds she reads about.

You’re such a romantic. Stiles smirks at her with sarcasm written on his face. It really is a shock that you’re still single.

Ditto.

Stiles kicks the back of her chair and she leans her head back, looking at him upside down. She smiles innocently, booping his nose before sitting upright again. He scoffs lowly, crossing his arms as he tries to act offended by her response.

A book slamming on a desk pulls everyone’s attention to the front. Coach Finstock has a menacing look on his face as he analyzes the class, “Let’s settle down,” he commands. “Let’s start with a quick summary of last night’s reading.” Only one individual raises their hand, causing Coach to roll his eyes. “Greenberg, put your hand down. Everybody knows you did the reading,” he dismisses the boy, more annoyed now than he was before class. “How about, uh…” Everyone avoids eye contact with their teacher like the plague, trying to avoid being the one he calls on. “McCall!”

Scott looks up at him like a deer in the headlights, “What?”

Coach moves to sit on his desk, the tension within the small classroom slowly growing. “The reading.”

Scott shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, “… Last night's reading?” He wonders, seemingly trying to stall so he doesn’t have to do it.

Coach grows irritated with the question, starting to realize that Scott didn’t do the assignment, “H-How about, uh, the reading of The Gettysburg Address?” He suggests sardonically making the rest of the class laugh. Fallon wiggles her own between her fingers nervously. Coach making fun of him like this is going to make him shift in front of everyone.

Scott looks even more confused, “What?”

“That’s sarcasm,” Coach reveals with a tilt of his head. “You familiar with the term sarcasm, McCall?”

He slowly turns to the two friends on his right, “Very,” he answers. Fallon simply glares at him while Stiles smiles proudly, patting Fallon’s back like it’s a team effort. Which, most of the time it is.

Coach huffs, looking at him expectantly, “Did you do the reading, or not?”

The boy plays with the pages of the book in front of him, his embarrassment increasing. “Um, I think I forgot…”

“Nice work, McCall,” his teacher praises fakely. “It’s not like you’re not averaging a D in this class.” He leans forward on Scott’s desk, his anger being replaced by concern. “Come on, buddy. You know I can’t keep you on the team if you have a D.”

Fallon’s attention is stolen when she hears the familiar beeping of Coach’s phone tracking the heart monitor. She pulls it out of her pocket, eyes widening when she sees Scott’s pulse rising. Stiles leans forward, watching along with her as the numbers start to increase with everything Coach says.

“How about you summarize, uh, the previous night’s reading?” He suggests. 98. 99. 100.

Scott silently shakes his head, hoping that he somehow finds a supernatural way to turn invisible. “No?” Finstock mocks. “How about, the uh, the night before that?” Scott fiddles with his fingers as he avoids eye contact. 122. 123. 124. “How about you summarize anything you’ve ever read in your entire life?!” 135. 136. 137.

“I-I… uh–”

“No? A blog?” Coach asks, looking for any sort of hope that Scott’s done something. “How about, uh, h-how about, uh, the back of a cereal box?” Scott tries to hide his face behind his hand as their teacher continues grilling him. Fallon is now bouncing her leg up and down, hoping that Scott gets some sort of reprieve from this. “No? How about the adults-only warning from your favorite website you visit every night? Anything?” When Scott doesn’t answer, Coach gives up and goes to retreat back to his desk. “Thank you, McCall, thank you. Thank. You. McCall.” He emphasizes with a slap to his desk. “Thank you for extinguishing any last flicker of hope I have for your generation.” 159. 160. 161.

Fallon looks at Scott, trying to comfort him with a sympathetic smile, but he doesn’t notice. His face simply grows redder and redder and his chest heaves up and down with angry breaths. “You just blew it for everybody,” Coach continues. “Thanks. Next practice, you can start with suicide runs. Unless that’s too much reading.”

Suddenly the monitor stops beeping as rapidly. Fallon glances at it surprised as she watches his heart rate start to go down. Despite all the laughter and snickers from their classmates, it’s actually going down. Fallon and Stiles visibly relax and when they look over to their friend, they see his arm reaching backwards. Allison is holding his hand tightly, rubbing her thumb across the top of it comfortingly. Fallon tilts her head. Maybe Scott was right in a way. Allison is his weakness, but in a way that gives him control. She keeps his anger at bay, keeps him grounded.

When the bell rings, they all could not be happier to get out of there. Scott still looks a bit mortified after everything that happened. Stiles once again grabs Fallon’s bag, carrying it on his shoulder. Allison bids her goodbyes to Scott, heading in the opposite direction the trio is. As soon as they are sure she’s out of ear shot, Fallon smacks his arm, “Dude, it’s her.”

“What do you mean?” He tilts his head, confused by the random statement.

“It’s Allison,” Fallon elaborates while Stiles nods along.

“Remember what you told me about the night of the full moon?” He brings up. “You were thinking about her, right? About protecting her.”

“Okay…” Scott says, still not understanding what they’re getting at.

“Remember the night of the first lacrosse game? You said you could hear her voice out on the field,” Stiles adds, trying to see if he can put it together.

Scott nods with a small smile, “Yeah, I did.”

“Well, that's what brought you back so you could pass the ball and we could score,” Fallon finishes explaining. “And then, after the game, in the locker room, you didn't kill her– at least, not like how you were trying to kill us.” Scott frowns, sending her a pointed look. Fallon huffs, “She’s like your anchor is what I’m saying. She brings you back. No need to get your werewolf panties in a bunch.”

Scott shakes his head at her statement, “No, no, no. But it's not always true, because literally every time I'm kissing her, or-or touching her–”

Fallon’s nose scrunched up in disgust as Stiles cuts him off, “No, that’s not the same. When you’re doing that, you’re just another hormonal teenager thinking about sex, y’know?”

“I really do not want to be having this conversation with you two,” Fallon grumbles uncomfortably, especially when she notices the smirk on Scott’s face. She groans, squeezing her eyes shut, “You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?”

He chuckles sheepishly, “Yeah,” he admits. “Sorry.”

“Just don’t ever give me any details on anything you guys do, okay?” Fallon says before shaking off her disgust. “Anyway, back in the classroom when she held your hand, that was different. She may be your weakness per say, but not in the way you originally thought. I think she actually gives you control. You might go feral if she gets hurt, but that’s besides the point. She’s what actually keeps you human.”

“You mean because I love her?”

“Exactly,” Stiles nods.

Fallon’s eyes widen slightly at the sudden admission. She wasn’t expecting Scott to just randomly admit that out loud. He apparently wasn’t expecting himself to say it either, “Did I just say that?” He asks them.

“Yeah,” Fallon smiles softly. “You did.”

Scott gets even more giddy than he already was, readjusting his straps as he continues to profess his love. “I love her.”

Stiles rolls his eyes impatiently, “That’s great! Now moving on–”

“No, no, no, really– I think I’m totally in love with her,” he insists.

“And that's beautiful. Now, before you go off and write a sonnet, can we figure this out, please?” Stiles gesticulates over dramatically. “Because you obviously can't be around her all the time.”

Scott snaps back, refocusing on the task at hand. He nods, “Yeah, yeah, yeah… Sorry. So, what do I do?”

“We don’t know,” the boy huffs, pausing for a moment. “Yet.”

Scott looks at him alarmed, “Oh, no. You’re getting an idea, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” Stiles smirks.

“Is this idea going to get me in trouble?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Fallon nods, not knowing the specifics of the plan, but knowing Stiles well enough that it’s going to entail some more revenge.

Scott groans, “Is this idea gonna cause me physical pain?”

Stiles nods rapidly, “Yeah, definitely. Come on.”

Fallon crutches along behind the two boys, furrowing her eyebrows as they head out to the parking lot. Stiles looks back at her and she tilts her head, silently asking what his plan is. The boy simply shakes his head, mouthing “just wait.”

Scott looks just as lost as Fallon, “What are we doing?”

“You’ll see. Hold on,” Stiles looks into the distance as if he’s checking something before turning around to instruct Scott. “Okay, stand right there. Do you have your keys?” Scott pulls them out to show him. “Perfect. Hold ‘em up like so,” he demonstrates, lazily holding his arm up in the air. “Now, whatever happens, just think about Allison. Try to find her voice like you did at the game. Got it?”

“Okay…”

“Fallon, my partner in crime, come stand with me please,” Stiles requests and she moves over to him. “Just keep holding it right there…” He summons Fallon to follow him as he sneakily walks over to the black truck behind them. She narrows her eyes as she watches him pull out his own keys. Her jaw drops as Stiles nonchalantly keys the truck before sliding his keys back into his pocket. He taps her shoulder, telling her to call attention to it.

Fallon looks at Scott who’s silently begging her not to do what Stiles is saying. She glances back at Stiles who is just nodding menacingly. “Do it,” he whispers.

She sighs, sending Scott an apologetic look, “Dude! What the hell do you think you're doing to that truck?!” She yells fakely. Stiles has to hold back the mini celebration he wants to have as the owner of said truck turns around.

“What the hell?!” The student yells, approaching Scott who nervously fumbles with his keys. He tries to shake his head, saying it wasn’t him who did it, but the other student clearly isn’t buying it.

“Oh my God!” Fallon shouts, flinching backwards as the guy socks Scott in the face without hesitation.

Stiles grips onto her as Scott tries to fight the guy back, but he’s over powered when the other student’s friends decide to join in. Scott is thrown to the floor, giving the others the upper hand as they drag him backwards. They continue hitting him in the face and kicking his abdomen. Fallon hears the phone beeping once more and she sends Stiles a glare.

“This was your brilliant idea?” She snaps.

“If he just thinks of Allison, it should work!” He defends. His eyes travel back to Scott as Fallon pulls out the phone. His heart rate is spiking once again. “Ahh,” he taps his foot nervously. “Come on. Stay calm. Stay calm.”

Fallon looks over her shoulder, “Is there really no one here to stop this? No teachers? Nothing?” She asks with a scoff.

“Oh, that's not okay.” Stiles winces. 129. 130. 131. “Scott, come on, buddy…”

Fallon feels the need to interfere, but the way Stiles is clutching onto her prevents her from going anywhere. She holds her breath, waiting for this nightmare to be over. She knows Scott will heal from all of this, but it’s still hard for her to watch him get beat up like this.

Out of nowhere, Mr. Harris comes barreling through, barking at the assailants to stop. The brunette girl never thought she would be grateful to see Mr. Harris, but she stands corrected. The other boys run off, leaving Scott on the floor with a bloodied up nose and a decent amount of bruising. Something probably broke, but isn’t visible due to his supernatural healing.

“What do you idiots think you’re doing?” Harris asks harshly, glaring down at Scott through his glasses.

None of them could even bother responding to his insult, the only thing they’re focused on is the fact Scott managed to control his rage. Stiles and Fallon smile at each other.

“He did it.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Detention.

Fallon should’ve assumed that this is where they were going to end up after Mr. Harris caught them outside. She just wished she brought something more entertaining to school today so she could occupy her mind while being stuck here. She has a chair pulled up at the end of Scott and Stiles’ table. The three of them sitting rather dejectedly even though they technically just succeeded in teaching Scott control.

The brunette girl sketches in her notebook, drawing the Beacon Hills woods from memory. Stiles watches her interestedly, leaning forward to look at her work. He tries not to move too far forward as her broken leg rests on his lap for some form of elevation.

“That's really good,” he compliments.

She smiles, “You think so?”

“Yeah,” he nods with a scoff, like she’s stupid for even asking such a question. “Like I would frame that. Y’know, if I had the money to buy a frame… How about I hang it on my fridge?”

Fallon laughs softly, ripping the page out and handing it to him. “Do what makes you happy.”

He grins, carefully putting the drawing in his backpack. The two of them look at Scott who shifts around in his seat. He’s antsy to get out of here. After a moment, he finally speaks to Mr. Harris, “Excuse me, sir?” He gets their teacher’s attention. “Uh, I know it’s detention and all, but, uh… I’m supposed to be at work, and I don’t want to get fired.”

Despite Scott’s polite request, Mr. Harris just grins fakely at the boy, looking back down at the paper he is grading. Fallon shakes her head annoyed. She didn’t understand how someone who hates kids could choose a profession where they sit with them all day.

Scott tries to go back to working on his homework, but can’t stop himself from talking to his friends on the other side of him. “You knew I would heal,” he says, with an almost impressed tone of voice.

“Yep,” Stiles nods. “We both did.”

“So you did that to help me learn?”

“Yep,” he repeats, rubbing his hands together.

“…But partially to punish me.”

“Thought that one was obvious,” Fallon mutters, hitting her pen on the desk to a steady rhythm.

Scott sighs, looking at them sadly, “Guys, you’re my best friends,” he says, regret etched in his eyes. “And I can’t have you both being angry with me.”

Both her and Stiles pause for a moment. Fallon sucks in a deep breath, looking at Scott sincerely, “We’re not angry at you anymore.”

Stiles turns to him, “Look. You have something, Scott, okay? Whether you want it or not, you can do things that nobody else can do. So, that means you don't have a choice anymore– it means you have to do something.”

Scott nods his head, really taking in Stiles’ words. “I know,” he agrees. “And I will.”

“Just next time a car comes barreling at me and Allison, try to give me a five second warning so I can at least try to save myself,” Fallon says lightheartedly.

“There won’t be a next time,” Scott shakes his head. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Not again.”

Fallon smiles toothlessly, reaching across the table to grab his hand. Stiles places his on top of theirs, all of them coming to a truce. Mr. Harris watches from afar, his frozen heart slightly touched by the display. He rolls his eyes, “All right, all three of you– out of here,” he gestures towards the door with his head.

The three of them look at him with wide eyes, but nonetheless stand up and start collecting their stuff. For once the boys allow Fallon to carry her own backpack. She wings it over her shoulder and adjusts herself on her crutches before following after them.

“Miss Donovan,” Mr. Harris calls out. She internally screams, not wanting to speak to him more than she has to, especially after what her father said to him on parent-teacher conference night.

She turns, “Yes sir?”

“I hope this shows that I do not hate you, Mr. McCall, or Mr. Stilinski. I meant what I said. I see a potential in you that I… struggle to see within them. Or at least I did,” he concedes. “But if I keep witnessing displays like that,” he refers to their conversation, “then perhaps I can admit where I was wrong. They aren’t all bad.”

Fallon shuffles awkwardly, not knowing how to react to him being kind. “Thank you?” She says it more as a question than statement.

Mr. Harris nods, “And I hope your leg gets better. I’m sorry to hear that happened to you.”

“Yeah…” she nods. “I’m all right though.”

“Well, have a good rest of your day,” he says, suddenly reverting back to his cold demeanor as he looks back down at the worksheets in front of him.

She sighs, heading back towards the door, “You too.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Fallon didn’t even get a chance to get dropped off by Stiles before Scott called them, explaining that Derek showed up to the animal clinic and attacked Deaton. The older werewolf thinks that Scott’s boss may be the Alpha. Hearing that made the girl's blood run cold. She’s spoken to Deaton a couple of times and she never would have guessed him to be the murderous werewolf they’ve been looking for.

Scott requested them to come pick him up because he told Derek to meet them at the school. So Stiles and Fallon did a quick pit stop at his house to grab supplies they’ll need to break into the school and then they quickly go pick up their friend. When the arrive, Scott picks up Fallon, helping her out of the jeep.

They move to the trunk, Stiles glancing around worriedly, “This is a terrible idea.”

“Yeah, I know,” Scott admits.

Fallon furrows her eyebrows, “But we’re still gonna do it…?” She asks incredulously.

“Can you think of something better?” Scott questions a bit harshly.

Stiles shrugs, “Well, personally, I’m a fan of ignoring a problem until eventually it just goes away…”

Scott gives him a deadpan look, “Just make sure we can get inside.”

The headlights from Derek’s Camaro practically blind Fallon as he pulls up. She glances down at her watch. Ten-thirty. She hopes her dad believed her when she said she’d be sleeping over at Stiles’. Noah and him are working the overnight shift so as long as they choose to believe her and Stiles, they should be okay.

“He’s here,” she mumbles to Scott and Stiles.

Scott’s the first one to approach Derek as he smoothly slides out of the driver’s seat. Fallon crutches behind Scott, peeking out from behind his shoulder to look at Derek. “Where’s my boss?” Scott demands darkly.

“He’s in the back,” Derek replies shortly, nodding to the back window of his car.

Fallon glances through the window seeing Deaton tied up and knocked out. She feels bad for the man, even if he is the Alpha, there is no way he's waking up without a creak in his neck. Stiles scoffs, “Oh, well, he looks comfortable,” he comments sarcastically.

Derek shrugs, his suspect’s comfortability not a concern to him in the slightest. Stiles shakes his head in annoyance before waving at Scott to follow him towards the school. Fallon decided to stay outside as she didn’t feel like moving super far with her crutches if she didn’t have to. They tend to dig into her armpits when she walks around excessively. She removes them from under her arms and leans against the Camaro, figuring Derek wouldn’t mind.

“Wait–” Derek calls out, confused as to what they're doing. “Hey. What are you doing?”

Scott turns around, “You said I was linked with the Alpha– I’m gonna see if you’re right,” he replies before finishing his journey to the entrance of the school.

Fallon glances into the window and frowns when she looks at Deaton. She still can’t even fathom that he could be the Alpha. He’s so kind, gentle even. He takes care of animals, he wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not on purpose anyway.

Derek eyes her for a moment before slowly inching closer to her. He points to her leg, “How are you feeling?” His voice was low, gruff—almost like he was forcing himself to ask.

She looks up at him with a shrug, “Okay, I guess. Just a little sore. It’s also really hard to scratch when I have an itch,” she admits. “Not that you needed to know that last part.”

“It’s all right,” he replies, hands buried in his pockets. “Friends can share those details, can’t they?” He lifts an eyebrow, leaning against the car alongside her.

Fallon smiles at him, “Yeah, I guess they can.”

“Have you been taking your pain medication?” He questions curiously.

“Yeah,” she nods. “Actually… I may have forgotten tonight,” she says thoughtfully. “I left my backpack at Stiles’ house. Haven’t exactly had a minute of downtime today to think about it.” She tried to keep her tone light, but she couldn’t help the slight edge of frustration that crept in. She wasn’t used to being this vulnerable, this...weak.

He glowers at her for a moment, “You better take it when you get back there,” he says strictly. “If you’re in pain, it’s only going to slow you down.”

She met his gaze, surprised at the concern lacing his words. It wasn’t like Derek to show he cared—at least, not openly. “I’m not planning on going anywhere fast, Hale.”

Derek huffed, almost like he was amused. Almost. “Good. Because if you do, you’re going to fall flat on your face.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, despite herself. “Are you offering to catch me if I do?”

He didn’t answer right away, his eyes searching hers for a beat too long. “You wouldn’t need to be caught if you were more careful,” he said finally, his tone firm but lacking its usual bite.

Fallon let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You’re really bad at this whole comforting thing, you know that?”

“I’m not trying to be comforting,” Derek replied, his eyes flicking back to the school. But his posture had softened just a fraction, his stance less rigid than before.

They fell into silence again, the sounds of the night surrounding them. Fallon shifted slightly, trying to ease the pressure on her leg. “So what exactly was your original plan when you were gonna pick up Scott?”

Derek’s jaw tightens, “Teach him control,” he answers.

“Okay, obviously,” she rolls her eyes. “But how?”

“Test him. See what he can handle. Try to help him find a way to ground himself,” he explains briefly. “And if he couldn’t figure it out…”

“Then you’d step in,” she finishes for him. She looks at him, “Would you hurt him?” She wonders softly. “Y’know… if he couldn’t do it.”

He glances at her again, his expression softening just a touch. “If he puts anyone else at risk, yes.”

She nods, appreciating his straightforwardness. It was something she’d come to value in Derek, even if he was rough around the edges. “I can handle myself, you know. A broken leg isn’t going to stop me.”

Derek’s eyes darkened, his gaze dropping to her leg before meeting hers again. “You shouldn’t have to.”

The words hung between them, heavier than she expected. Fallon felt her chest tighten, the weight of everything they’d been through pressing down on her. But instead of feeling stifled, she felt… understood.

“Thanks, Derek,” she says quietly, her voice sincere.

He gave a short nod, his eyes lingering on hers for a moment before turning back to the school. “Just don’t make a habit of getting hurt,” he muttered, the gruffness back in his voice.

Fallon smiled to herself, leaning back against the car. “No promises.”

All of a sudden, out of nowhere the wimpiest howl Fallon has ever heard echoes over the PA system. Her jaw drops as she fights off the urge to laugh. She couldn’t even think of what to classify that as. It sounded like a cat having gas pains.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Derek winces as if listening to that was physically painful. Truthfully, it was. She normally tries to be an encouraging person, but that was awful. She’s pretty sure her ears would have bled if it had gone on any longer. She silently hopes that Stiles finds some way to inspire Scott to dig deep. Because at this rate, there’s no way the Alpha is coming.

When the second howl comes through, it actually makes the girl jump. This one is deep and powerful. It manages to cause the building to shake, making the doors vibrate with a loud jangle. A surge of fear fills Fallon’s veins as she realizes that this is it. There’s no way the Alpha could ignore that. She’ll have to face him again. Derek can sense the sudden shift in her demeanor. He can smell the chemo signals radiating off of her. Her face remains still, but her insides are twisting in ways they shouldn’t be.

“Hey,” Derek gets her attention. “You’re okay. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he reassures.

She nods, not having the ability to come up with a more witty response. She tries to shake off the overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen, but it continues to linger over her. Eventually Scott and Stiles make it out of the school, meeting a very pissed off Derek and a concerned Fallon. “I’m gonna kill both of you,” the elder of them threatens furiously. “What the hell was that? What are you trying to do, attract the entire state to the school?”

Scott tries to apologize genuinely, but anyone can see how proud of himself he is. “Sorry… I didn’t know it would be that loud.”

“Yeah,” Stiles scoffs excitedly, “it was loud… And it was awesome…” he finishes in a sing-song voice.

Fallon can’t help but smirk, pushing her growing worries aside. “Gotta admit Scotty, that was impressive.” She stiffens when noticing Derek’s glare, “I mean– not impressive. Not impressive at all,” she clears her throat awkwardly.

Derek looks at her incredulously, “Shut up.”

Her lips form a tight-line. So much for the moment they just shared. Stiles narrows his eyes, “Don’t be such a sour-wolf,” he mocks, pulling Fallon closer to him and Scott. She stumbles slightly, trying to get ahold of her crutches.

“Could you be a bit gentler, please?” She scoffs.

“What’d you do with him?” Scott asks snippily, pointing to Derek’s car which is now open.

“What?” The man’s eyes widen as he turns around. He looks baffled as he sees the backseat is empty. The nervous feeling fills Fallon’s gut again. Deaton was knocked out cold. There’s no way he could just get up and walk out without at least one of them hearing him. “I didn’t do anything,” he tells them.

“He didn’t,” Fallon confirms. “We’ve been talking the whole time.”

However, nothing else can be said as hot blood spurts out of Derek’s mouth and onto Fallon’s face. She stumbles back in shock before screaming loudly. Derek is being lifted in the air, claws belonging to the Alpha ripping straight through his back. His green eyes are wide as he chokes on his own bodily fluids.

Fallon tries to tell herself to move, but her body won’t listen. Staring into the bright red eyes of the creature that invaded her space, who made her feel unsafe, rendered her paralyzed. She can’t even blink as she watches the Alpha chuck Derek across the parking lot into the wall of the school. His body hits the ground with a loud crash. She makes eye contact with the monster as Scott and Stiles pick her up, carrying her into the school. She can’t seem to tear her eyes away from it. Again, the expression it wears is almost mocking. Like it’s silently telling her she’s existing on borrowed time.

She’s only brought back to earth when the doors to the school slam shut, both of the boys setting her on the ground before holding the doors closed. Her eyes still look distant, disturbed. Scott and Stiles share a concerned look, not just for their situation but for their friend who is once again covered in Derek’s blood.

[lumaconstante]

Hey guys, how are you?

I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to share my fanfic here, so here is chapter one, you can see more on my profile, or on the wattpad links. I wish you all a good read!

Star — Chapter One

Did some bird beat its wings in Asia?

Did some force take you because I didn’t pray?

Everything that was to come turned to ashes

Because it’s all over, it wasn’t meant to be

So I’ll say words I don’t believe

— Bigger than the whole sky - Taylor Swift

"My house... it’s not here."

It was the first thought I had upon waking up alone in one of the guest rooms of Wayne Manor in the morning.

The impeccably aligned white sheets, the cream-toned, monotonous walls, and the pitcher with a glass of water on the table beside the bed only emphasized the thought.

"My house is not here."

I whispered to myself, closing my eyes, and my heart ached.

Home. That word feels so foreign on my lips. Home has many names for me: "家 Ie," "maison," "hogar," house... whatever the name, I feel like I never truly understood its meaning. Home was never a physical place for me. Home, "a place where you can create lifelong memories." Home, for me, was wherever my mother was performing her shows. Tokyo, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Madrid. Wherever she was, I was too. She was my home. The only one I knew.

And now, I have no home at all.

Maybe that's the downside of making someone your home. Once you lose that person, no matter where you go, you become a stranger. Not that it’s a feeling I’m unfamiliar with. I’ve always felt like a stranger in my own skin.

The last time I felt at home, it was June 1st. I was on the balcony of our house in Whitechapel, London. A cup of Earl Grey tea rested beside me along with the candy jar, which was empty—cookie jars never lasted long, especially when they were within my reach—but the tea, almost spilling out of the cup, had gone cold. I had added milk to the tea, as recommended, but I didn’t like it.

— “Of course, there’s no backing out...” — I sighed after rereading for the thousandth time the email thanking me for participating but informing me I hadn’t been accepted into the selection process for joining another idol group.

In recent years, groups of young artists in the "idol" format had become astonishingly popular. A new revolution in art was unfolding before my eyes, with Asia leading the charge in innovation.

And more than anyone, I knew that if I didn’t keep up, I’d be left behind.

— “I took a year to study and train my performances, and I still couldn’t debut at the company I wanted... What’s the point of life, anyway?” — I sighed as my eyes wandered to the starry sky stretching above me.

— “You’ll do better next time,” — my mother said, placing a hand on my shoulder before turning her attention to a call from her producer.

I rested my head on my hands, watching the stars shining faintly in that dark sea of uncertainties.

When my mother ended the call, she excitedly told me she was going on a tour and that I could take a break from my classes to join her closely.

We traveled through Tokyo, Amsterdam, Paris, Sydney, New York... But nothing prepared me for Gotham.

"I love you." That faint whisper still echoed in my mind, staining my vision red.

"I love you." And then, a deafening silence, filled with anguish and despair.

"I love you." And now I’m here, in a place I don’t know, with people I’ve only heard about.

I sighed, trying to wash those thoughts away. I knew that at some point I’d have to leave that bed and interact with the other residents of the house, though I had no desire to.

I was about to roll over again in bed and bury my face in the pillow when my phone buzzed, alerting me to a notification. I dragged my hand across the white sheets to reach the phone, the screen lighting up as soon as the device recognized my fingerprint.

"Dear Alice Hoshi,

We inform you that you have been accepted in the Mystic group admission exam (2nd round). You will receive our integration guidelines and the agreement contract to join our company group.

Please complete the attached form to finalize the enrollment documentation. Once the documentation process is complete, your debut will take place on August 1st. You are required to attend our headquarters in Gotham to begin your training on September 1st.

Sincerely,

NextFuture Enterprises."

For a moment, the world went silent. All I could hear was the echo of my mother’s microphone hitting the floor and rolling to my feet.

That dry, metallic sound.

My eyes scanned those words again.

That was everything I had wanted to read for so long. A few days ago, I’d be jumping and screaming around the hotel room.

But now, I didn’t know how to feel.

What was I supposed to feel?

How was I supposed to act?

My eyes lingered on those words until the phone screen turned off. I remained still, staring at the device in silence.

The screen lit up again, and the phone began to vibrate and chime, overwhelmed by so many notifications.

I hadn’t been given an opportunity because the company believed I had talent. No, I knew what they had in mind. I was the novelty, the gossip that would make them profit.

Until the start of the tour, no one knew Kira Hoshi had a daughter.

No one knew; only she and my father kept that secret, and of course, my aunt. But beyond that, no one knew.

Until she decided to reveal it to her fans during the first show of the tour in London, causing an uproar among her fans by calling me on stage to open and close the show with her.

Over time, I could see their divided opinions. Most felt betrayed by my mother, dissatisfied. They hated the idea of her having a life they didn’t know about. Idols didn’t have children. They were angelic beings created solely to bless mere mortals with their art and talent. Idols didn’t have relationships; they existed only to illuminate and shine on those without the same light.

That was one of the first lessons my mother taught me when I said I wanted to be an idol like her.

Before it was revealed that I was her daughter, no one even noticed me, but now, it seemed all the spotlights were pointed in my direction. I skimmed through countless offers filling my inbox with disinterest and then dropped the phone on the bed, standing up.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, wearing the black dress someone had left at my door in a black box with a matching black satin bow, and applied makeup to hide the dark circles from a sleepless night.

I didn’t need anyone to tell me; I knew my father was waiting for me somewhere in the mansion to accompany me to the funeral, which he had personally arranged.

It was a kind gesture, considering he’d been absent for most of my life—not that I cared; I barely knew him.

Bruce Wayne was barely a name in my family.

— “All set?” — he asked softly as I descended the stairs, and I nodded silently in response.

“I’d like to introduce you to someone,” he said, and a boy with dark skin, green eyes, and hair as dark as Bruce’s appeared in the mansion’s entry hall, dressed in a fine, dark suit.

“This is my other son. Your younger brother, Damian.”

As for me, I almost blended into the white walls of the house. I was albino, a condition that had always bothered me. It wasn’t easy to go unnoticed; heads almost snapped when I walked through hallways. But my mother loved it.

"Kimi no kami ni wa hoshi no kagayaki ga aru (You have the brightness of stars in your hair)," she used to say.

— “Pleasure to meet you,” the boy who was almost a replica of Bruce approached, looking at me intently.

— “My condolences,” he added.

I studied him for a moment, trying to ignore the fact that my father had chosen to be part of one child’s life over another.

— “Likewise,” I murmured, looking away.

— “Thank you.”

— “There are more people I’d like you to meet,” my father said.

“Another time. The car is ready. Shall we?”

Again, I nodded silently and followed them into the car. The fifteen-minute drive to the mausoleum where my mother would rest was entirely silent.

When I stepped out of the car with my father and Damian, reporters surged toward us like vultures with insensitive questions.

The flashes blocked my vision; this was nothing more than a spectacle for the media. They would profit from my pain.

I didn’t answer the questions, didn’t look at the cameras; I just walked between my father and Damian to the front-row chairs as the priest began the sermon. My mother never considered herself Catholic; she wasn’t even a religious person, yet the people around seemed moved.

They tried to persuade me to say a few words about how she had been a good mother, but I didn’t want to.

Words weren’t necessary.

I had said everything I wanted to her while she was alive. We were never ones to leave what mattered for later.

At the end of the sermon, my father accompanied me to the casket so I could say goodbye. He left a bouquet of white roses on her eternal resting place, frowning as I removed them, replacing them with red tulips.

— “She always hated roses,” I said simply, looking at her eternally peaceful face. She looked more radiant than ever.

"The stars shine their brightest in their final moments, more than at any other time in their long existence," she once told me.

“You’re right,” I almost whispered but didn’t. I stayed silent, just watching her. I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually, I left, leaving my father and Damian behind, waiting in the car with the butler until everything was over.

The butler, whom I learned was named Alfred, kindly drove around in silence and returned to the burial site when everyone was gone, giving me a few minutes alone with my mother.

— “NextFuture Enterprises accepted my application,” I said, looking at her pale, serene face. “I wish you were here to see it; you would have been happy.”

Warm tears slid gently down my cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away. I leaned softly over her body and kissed her forehead, feeling my heart tighten.

"I love you..." The voice echoed in my mind.

— “I love you too,” I whispered, stumbling over my own feet as I stepped back.

— “I’m sorry I don’t have any words for you now; I spent all I had on you while you were alive.”

Finally, they closed the casket and carried it into the mausoleum. I watched the wooden door shut, and then it began to rain.

I stood there until I felt the rain stop falling on me. It hadn’t stopped raining; it was just my father holding a black umbrella to shield me.

— “Let’s go home,” he said, gently guiding me to the car with his hand on my back.

Before entering the vehicle again, I glanced at that mausoleum one last time, with the certainty in my heart that Gotham City would never be my home.

[b-skarsgard]

Exclusive Interview: Bill Skarsgård On Making Orlok His Own In NOSFERATU

Bill Skarsgård has been in the Nosferatu loop since writer/director Robert Eggers first began conceiving it almost 10 years ago. This was before Skarsgård had his horror-star-making turn as Pennywise in It, so initially, he auditioned for the part of Friedrich Harding, friend of central couple Thomas and Ellen Hutter. Then he read for and landed the part of Thomas before the project fell apart. Nosferatu, in fact, went through a few stops and starts before finally coming to fruition, with Skarsgård ultimately taking on the titular role of the hundreds-of-years-old vampire Count Orlok.

Eggers’ reimagining of the 1922 silent landmark gives Orlok a new look but the same goal: to possess Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) and drain the life from those around her. The film, which also stars Nicholas Hoult as Thomas, Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Harding, and Willem Dafoe as occult expert Professor Albin Eberhart Von Franz, presents Orlok as a resuscitated, centuries-old nobleman driven by obsession as much as bloodlust. (You can read more of this interview in FANGORIA #26, on sale very soon.)

read at the link or under the cut

Do you happen to know what Eggers’ change in thinking was, from seeing you in one of the heroic roles to playing the villain?

I don’t know if there are any heroic roles in the movie [laughs], apart from Ellen, in a way. I don’t know what changed in him, but that’s just how it ended up. At one point I was devastated because when it did finally look like Nosferatu was coming around for the third time, he was looking into other actors for Thomas, and then I heard that Nick got the part, and I was like, OK, what about the Harding role?

I also once read for that one. And then Aaron got it, and I was like, OK, I have to divorce myself from the idea of being part of this movie now, even though I felt so, I don’t know, destined to be a part of it. So it was a surprise and shock to me when he approached me with Orlok. In a lot of ways, it was a much more daunting task to undertake as an actor. It was as terrifying as it was exciting.

This is obviously a very different Orlok than we saw in the previous versions of Nosferatu. How did you view the character when you first took the role, and how did you develop him with Eggers?

Robert had obviously done a lot of thinking about what his Orlok would be like. And when he reached out to me about the possibility of playing him, I think he was a lot more confident that I could do it than I was [laughs]. But I was so thrilled for the opportunity, and I told him, “OK, now we’ll have to convince everyone”; we had to submit to the studio and whatnot.

We had this kind of 10-day workshop where he shared with me a lot of the material he had used for inspiration—different performances in different movies, what Orlok would have been like when he was alive, all that kind of stuff. And also how he saw Orlok’s look, which was quite specific. Then I started working on it.

I began with voice memos, and then I would send little clips of myself doing certain things. This was all before the actual screen test; it was all during COVID. Those 10 days were a very deep dive into the process of developing this guy, and proof for myself that I could do it. It was a great sort of dating phase with Robert as well, to see how we would collaborate. Auditions are usually horrible, but with this particular way of doing it, it was quite creative.

Then the movie fell apart again, so when we actually got to shoot it, I believe it had been two and a half years since I did the tape. So I almost had to restudy what I did for the tape in order to start re-prepping for the movie because, at that point, I was at the same place of, how the hell did I do this, or can I do it? I had to go through all that again, you know?

What were some of Eggers’ specific inspirations for Orlok that he shared with you, and were there any you came up with yourself?

There were a lot of different things. There was a Bulgarian movie called Time of Violence—a great movie, over four hours long, set in Bulgaria in the 17th century. And there’s this guy, the antagonist of the movie, taking over a village and forcibly converting Christians, and it’s incredibly violent and horrible. That performance was something Robert talked a lot about in terms of who Orlok could have been when he was alive. We talked about that one a lot, and various different things—little snippets from here and there.

But that was during the very early stages. Once you start delving deeper into a character, hopefully, you start getting inspiration from whatever it is you’re actually working on, and that creates seeds that come out of it. Robert also wrote a backstory for Orlok, just a few pages, that he shared with me, which was also very helpful.

You said before that there aren’t many heroes in Nosferatu except for Ellen. Would you consider Orlok a villain, or do you see him more as a tragic character?

He’s the romantic lead, isn’t he [laughs]? Yeah, it’s tricky. Is he a villain? Yeah, of course; I mean, he’s Nosferatu, he’s Dracula, he’s one of the most, if not the most iconic horror villain there is. But I think the script has nuances that make it more complex, more layered, in the sense that the movie is sort of a love triangle with Ellen in the middle. She’s torn between a good, stable, benevolent, loving husband and something that is very powerful, very destructive, but also very alluring to her, and you watch her being torn between these two forces.

How was it working with the heavy prosthetics that transformed you into Orlok?

David White did the prosthetics and the design, and he’s incredibly talented. And Stuart Richards and his wife were the ones who applied it on me every day. You tend to become very close to those people, because they’re the ones you spend the most time with when you’re playing a character like this. Just immensely talented, and very, very sweet.

And then there’s the process of getting it on for the first time and you’re like, OK, what works and what doesn’t work? How do my face and my expressions translate onto this new face that they’ve glued on top of mine? It becomes a whole process where you need to familiarize yourself with how your performance is being translated through the prosthetics. But I never felt like Orlok without the makeup, so the prosthetics and the costume were all pieces that I needed to perform him.

Since you were attached to the role for a few years, did the concept of Orlok change at all from the beginning to what we see in the final film?

Actually, not too much. Robert shared with me, when I was being considered for the role, a digital drawing he had made of Orlok, and that was pretty close to what he ended up looking like in the actual movie. Obviously, there were little changes here and there, but the essence of it, the mustache and so forth, stayed pretty close.

A lot of the character’s look is, what did a Romanian or Hungarian nobleman look like in the 16th century? As you probably know, Robert does extensive research and tries to be as historically accurate as possible in anything he does. So, the look is a representation of that. It’s a historically accurate Romanian nobleman [laughs]. And the same with the costumes. It was pretty specific, and what Orlok looks like in the movie is pretty close to what Robert initially envisioned.

Can you talk about working with Lily-Rose Depp?

It was an absolute pleasure working with Lily. I haven’t seen many people with such raw talent as she possesses, and how much she gives to the movie. It’s not an easy role at all; it was so emotionally demanding, and the way she could just turn it on every single time, take after take, was awe-inspiring.

The first few scenes I did with her, I wasn’t even acting; I was just a shadow hand behind the camera. And I could just see how gifted she was, and the nuances she brought. Then once we started doing scenes together, I couldn’t appreciate it as much because I was also performing, and we were dancing together. But she’s incredible, and an undeniable force in the movie. •

[whatiwillsay]

Girl I gotta tell you about the most batshit conversation I had last night. I should mention that we had weed/alcohol/❄️ in our systems so she very well could have been off her rocker and making half of this shit up, but it was so damn elaborate I had to share lol.

I Was at a party in New York and was talking with this girl who’s a friend of a friend. I wouldn’t necessarily call her a normie because she does have a bit of a following, but she’s definitely not a widely known person and has like a salaried job lol. Somehow Taylor comes up and the girl super casually goes “oh I used to know Taylor” and I’m automatically like ??? expand on that please.

She goes on to tell me she was working for Vogue at the time (2016) and was somehow involved with Taylor’s May cover. She said they got to talking and found out they had a couple mutual friends, one of which was ruby rose. She allegedly told Taylor about how she was going to Coachella with ruby and Taylor said she was going too and they planned to meet up there. She said she went to the house Taylor was renting for Coachella to party and she said Taylor got really fucked up and was talking shit about Calvin and todrick hall was like defending him or something and Taylor got extremely pissed off and started crying and made him leave???

Fast forward to the summer she said they became like casual friends and hung out a few times when Taylor was in New York. She said she went to a party at Taylor’s place and she had a tattoo artist there and taylor got a white ink tattoo of cherries in her bikini area and it looked like absolute shit.

She said that fall she was at another party at her place and taylor was on another planet and skinny dipped/made out with a famous girlie (not one that is speculated about in terms of Gaylor) in the pool in front of like a dozen people.

Cara Delevigne allegedly OD’d at the Cornelia St place and taylor had her security administer narcan and refused to let them call an ambulance. Her security team took Cara to the hospital and taylor kept the party going

She said she met Joe once and he was extremely quiet and sat in the corner by himself taking rip after rip from a bong.

This was funny but she said Taylor’s cat scratched the shit out of her hand one night and Taylor gave her a thousand dollars???

The girl ended up moving to Paris in 2017 and they hung out once or twice more when they were both in New York but kind of lost touch and she hasn’t spoken to Taylor since 2019ish, but Taylor did gift her really great tickets to rep tour and she showed me a photo of them backstage.

A few other things she mentioned - allegedly cokelor is real and at least back then taylor loooved the snow. She also smoked what she described as a significant about of weed and was always stoned. I asked about Dianna/Lily/Karlie - she said she didn’t know anything for sure but taylor was always open about being attracted to women at least sexually and that Karlie’s boyfriend was always around. She also said Karlie’s sister hooked up with Taylor’s brother at a party???

Basically her consensus on Taylor was that what the public sees isn’t what she experienced and that Taylor is a hot hot mess and a little crazy. Again I personally don’t know if I believe all this but she did show me some photos with Taylor/from inside her home, so I do kinda believe she did know her in some capacity. It was just too bananas not to share.

BESTIE COME OFF ANON LETS TALK LETS TALK LMAO