#tag yourself Im Beomgyu

[st4rwon]

enhypen followed you !

idol!jake x engene!reader

synopsis - jake, being the clumsy guy he is, accidentally follows you from the official enhypen account on twitter. this leads to your life taking a full 180 and now having to deal with being in the public eye.

featuring: enhypen, chaewon and yunjin of le sserafim, beomgyu and soobin of tomorrow by together

tags ⨾ crackfic, smau, strangers(?) to lovers, jokes (no promises they are actually funny tho), angst, fluff, miscommunication, reader is a bit oblivious, swearing

taglist ⨾ open (send an ask or comment ; check b4 asking)

status ⨾ on hiatus

clowns | no hyphen

prologue

1 ! rikijackson05

2 ! i don’t think bang si hyuk wants me

3 ! not you hypnotizing yourself

4 ! from state farm?

5 ! funsies

6 ! batshit crazy

7 ! it’s jake

8 ! no rizz

9 ! my immune system is too strong

10 ! that wasn’t very girl boss of you

11 ! i am enhypen

12 ! you’re not slick

13 ! shorter than me

14 ! sunki = enemy

15 ! def not you

16 ! sad hamster

17 ! i don’t got this

18 ! hi yn *heart eyes*

19 ! character development

20 ! yunki is over

21 ! jake’s a cheater!

22 ! pretty girl

23 ! im not delusional!

24 ! not the only loser

25 ! mr.best friend

26 ! girlfriend

27 ! hey…

28 !

29 !

30 !

tbd…

please don’t spam like posts, repost, translate, or use my work without my permission. all work is fictional and only used for entertainment purposes. © st4rwon 2024

[bamgyuuuri]

yk who i am hehe we're working together :3 but when i'll send you reqs, i'll be anon. i'll be ☁️ anon mwehehe

barista beomgyu. please. i beg.

⸝⸝ brewing love ┈ cbg.

⸝⸝ now playing : can't stop - taehyun & hueningkai

pairings and tags. barista!beomgyu x reader . fleeting glances . mutual pining . not-actually unrequited love . cute mutual crush shenanigans . beomgyu is the actual sweetest im crying . slow burn-ish . cheeky clichés . shy yet abrupt confession . tooth-rutting fluff

word count. 8.8k

short note! OOOOH i think i already know who u are mwehehe, hello ☁️ anon !! <3 i made this extra special just for you, i hope u like it :3

barista!beomgyu, who just so happens to begin working at the newly opened café a few buildings down your apartment. you were walking down the street, lost in thought, when something pulls your attention toward the soft hum of a new place. the café stands there, tucked in the corner of the street, windows wide open to let the fresh air in, light spilling onto the sidewalk. you slow down your pace, drawn to the cozy space inside. 

beomgyu was behind the counter, his hair a little tousled, falling into his eyes in a way that makes him look effortlessly adorable. his smile was the first thing you notice—bright, welcoming, and easy, like he’s been expecting you all along. it’s a smile that makes you pause, heart fluttering just a little faster, and before you even know what you were doing, your feet were taking you closer to the door, pulling you inside without a second thought.

“hi, welcome in!” beomgyu greets, his voice smooth and warm, with a hint of curiosity that makes you feel like he’s genuinely happy to see you. it’s more than just the usual greeting—there’s something about the way his eyes light up when he looks at you, something that makes you feel a little self-conscious and yet strangely special at the same time.

you hesitate for a moment, not knowing what to say. your usual confidence has fled, leaving behind a slight nervousness that catches in your throat. “uh… just a cappuccino, please,” you manage, your words coming out softer than you intended.

beomgyu doesn’t miss a beat, his smile widening a fraction as he nods. “coming right up.”

as he turns to prepare your drink, you find yourself watching him more than you mean to—his fingers moving smoothly over the espresso machine, his soft hums filling the quiet space, and the way his movements are almost… graceful. the whole scene feels so cozy, and as you stand there waiting for your coffee, you can’t help but catch yourself stealing glances at him. you’re suddenly so aware of how your pulse quickens every time he looks back at you, even just for a second.

when he hands you your cappuccino, the slight brush of his fingers against yours sends a tiny jolt through you, and your breath catches for a moment. it’s only for a heartbeat, but it feels like something more than just a simple touch. his eyes flicker to yours again, and there’s a softness in them that makes your cheeks heat up, though you’re not sure if it’s from the warmth of the coffee or the warmth of his gaze.

“enjoy,” he says, his voice low and sweet, and you feel a sudden longing to stay, to continue this moment, to keep this connection alive just a little longer. but you have to leave, so you turn away, suddenly feeling like the moment has slipped through your fingers too quickly.

the next morning, you’re walking down the same street, and without even thinking about it, your feet lead you straight to the door of the café. the anticipation builds in your chest, a little flutter each step closer, like you’re preparing for something—but you’re not sure what.

“good morning!” beomgyu greets, his voice as smooth as the morning light filtering through the windows. he’s leaning against the counter, his smile easy but warm, like he remembers you, and that makes your stomach flip a little. you try to act casual, but your words stumble out. “morning… uh, just the cappuccino please.”

“of course, i remember,” he chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that makes your heart soften. he’s so effortlessly kind, and it hits you a little harder than expected, making the air between you feel softer, more familiar.

as he prepares your drink, you can’t help but notice the little things—the way his hands move with purpose, yet they’re gentle, precise. when he hums to himself as he works, you catch yourself listening more intently, savoring the moment. you wonder if he always has this effect on people, or if it’s just you.

when he slides the cappuccino across the counter toward you, there’s that small moment again—his fingers brush against yours, light and almost fleeting, but the feeling lingers, like something unspoken. “here you go, have a great day!” beomgyu says, his eyes meeting yours again, and for a moment, everything feels still.

“thank you,” you murmur, a little shy, a little more self-aware than usual, but you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. you walk to a table, feeling the heat from your drink and from the gentle attention you’ve been getting from him.

over the next few days, you found yourself in the café more often than you mean to. it starts with little things—a smile, a laugh, the warmth of his presence filling the space whenever you enter. you can’t quite put your finger on it, but each time you see beomgyu, there’s this soft, almost electric feeling in your chest that keeps you coming back. “how’s your day going?” he asks one morning, leaning closer to the counter, his eyes bright with curiosity. you feel the familiar rush of butterflies in your stomach as you answer, and somehow, even the smallest of exchanges makes you feel a little lighter.

“pretty good actually, just the usual,” you respond with a smile, trying to act cool, though your heart is racing a little faster than it should.

beomgyu gives you that knowing smile again, the one that makes your knees feel weak. “i'm glad to hear that! if you need anything else, i’m here,” he adds, and the way he says it feels… different this time, like there’s something more beneath the surface.

over the next few visits, you start noticing small things—the way he remembers your name, the way he greets you like he’s genuinely happy to see you. and it’s not just the coffee anymore; it’s the quiet moments between you, the way you both linger just a little longer each time you speak. you catch yourself smiling to yourself when you’re walking away, your heart swelling a little bit more with each passing day. then, one morning, as you approach the counter, beomgyu slides a pastry next to your drink without you even asking. you blink in surprise, your heart skipping a beat as you stare at the delicate pastry he’s just placed in front of you.

“here,” he says smoothly, his voice warm, almost like it’s a secret shared only between the two of you. “for our most loyal customer.”

you’re caught off guard, unsure whether to laugh or melt into a puddle. your lips curl into a shy smile as you look up at him, surprised by the kindness—and maybe the hint of something else in his voice.

“what?” you laugh softly, raising an eyebrow, “i didn’t order that, though..”

“you didn’t have to,” he replies, his smile soft and knowing, like he’s been paying attention to all the little things about you. “you’ve been coming here every day. thought you deserved a treat.”

there’s something in the way beomgyu says it, something that feels more personal, more thoughtful than just a simple gesture. it makes your heart flutter, and for a second, you’re not sure if it’s the sweetness of the pastry or the sweetness of his words that makes your cheeks heat up.

“why, thank you,” you say, feeling a little shy but undeniably touched. you take a small bite of the pastry, and the sweetness was almost enough to make your heart race, but it’s the way he’s watching you—patient, interested—that truly has your heart fluttering.

“how is it?” he asks, his tone casual, but his eyes never leave you, watching intently as you savor the bite.

you look up at him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “it’s perfect,” you reply, feeling your chest warm in more ways than one.

beomgyu’s smile grows a little, and he leans against the counter, his presence filling the space between you both. there’s a small, shared moment of silence, and you’re left wondering if he’s feeling the same way—that strange, undeniable pull that’s slowly building between you two.

as you continue to visit the café over the next few days, the pastries continue. each time, he seems to know exactly what to offer, like he’s learned your preferences by heart. one day it’s a soft cinnamon roll that he claims is “extra special today,” and the next it’s a delicate almond cookie that you don’t even know you’d wanted until he suggests it.

it’s not just the pastries that stand out, though. it’s the way he makes sure to slide your coffee over with a smile that’s just a little more genuine each time, the way his hand brushes yours ever so slightly when handing you your order. you can’t help but notice the subtle things—the way his eyes linger just a little longer than they should, the way he seems to always find an excuse to keep talking to you.

one afternoon, you’re sipping your coffee by the window, watching the world outside, when beomgyu leans over the counter, his voice lowering as he speaks to you.

“just made a fresh batch of croissants,” he says, his eyes twinkling with something mischievous. “i think you’ll really like them.”

you raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “oh? you think so?” you tease lightly, glancing up at him. there’s something so endearing about how he’s trying to impress you with something so simple, yet it feels like a small, intimate moment shared between you two.

“oh, i know so,” beomgyu replies, his voice light and playful. he looks at you with a hint of mischief, and you can’t help but feel your heart skip a little faster. it’s not just the words, it’s the way he says them, the way his eyes sparkle with a knowing glint, as if he’s already certain that you’ll like whatever he’s offering.

“well, i’ll take your word for it,” you reply, your smile softening. “thanks.”

beomgyu slides the warm croissant toward you, his fingers brushing the edge of the pastry just lightly before pulling away. you can’t help but notice how he lingers, his gaze fixed on you, almost as if he’s waiting for your reaction. you take the croissant carefully, the golden flaky layers crumbling slightly as you break off a piece. the warm, buttery scent envelops you, and with your first bite, you feel the soft, rich texture melt in your mouth. it was perfect—the sweet, delicate flavor that you didn’t even know you were craving, and as you chew, you can feel the warmth spreading through you. it’s not just the pastry that’s making your heart race, though. you glance up at him, noticing that he’s watching you intently, his eyes a little wider, as if he’s holding his breath, waiting for you to speak. it’s the kind of look that makes your stomach flip, like he’s unsure whether you’ll like it or not, but he wants you to.

“this is…” you pause, savoring another bite, “amazing,” you finally say, your voice quieter this time, a soft smile curving your lips. you’re not just complimenting the pastry anymore, you realize.

“i’m glad you like it,” he says, his voice a little softer now, almost shy. his eyes flicker to yours, and you can feel the weight of his gaze, the way it lingers a fraction longer than usual. there’s something more here, something unspoken that passes between you both in the quiet of the café. too lost in the taste, you don’t even realize there was a delicate crumb on the corner of your lips until beomgyu’s gaze drops, focusing on your mouth. his hand moves before his mind seems to catch up, reaching out gently, his thumb brushing the corner of your lips, swiping away the tiny remnant of pastry. the touch was featherlight, his skin warm against yours, and the unexpected intimacy of it makes your breath hitch. his eyes widen slightly as he realizes what he’s done, his thumb still lingering close to your mouth, the warmth of his touch seeping into your skin.

“s-sorry…! there was…” his voice trails off, and he looks almost as flustered as you feel, a rosy tint coloring his cheeks as he quickly pulls his hand back. “crumb…” he finishes, his gaze darting away, but there’s a small, bashful smile pulling at his lips that makes your heart twist in the sweetest way.

“thanks,” you murmur, your own cheeks warming with a blush you can’t quite hide. the air between you shifts, a new layer of awareness settling in, making the moment stretch longer, deeper. and his sweetness didn't stop there. it started happening more often—small, thoughtful gestures that make your heart stir in ways you’re not quite ready to admit. little things, quiet things, but they settle into your chest like warmth spreading through your fingertips, like the first sip of coffee he made on a chilly morning. one afternoon, you’re hunched over your table, forehead resting against your palm as you stare at the endless pages of study material in front of you. the words blur together, your highlighter poised but unmoving, frustration pressing into your temples. your coffee sits untouched beside you, long forgotten, the steam no longer curling from the rim. with a tired sigh, you rub your temple, your free hand tugging absentmindedly at the edge of your sleeve.

then, out of nowhere, a plate slides onto the table in front of you.

your breath catches, startled by the sudden presence of something new amidst your sea of notes and papers. you blink, momentarily confused, before your gaze lands on a small slice of cake sitting neatly on a ceramic plate. delicate layers of sponge and cream, dusted lightly with powdered sugar, topped with a single, perfectly ripe strawberry. it looks almost too pretty to eat, like something out of a display case rather than a last-minute kindness.

but what truly made your heart stutter was the tiny yellow post-it pressed gently against the edge of the plate.

good luck! i know you can do it!

beneath the words, there was a small, round bear doodle, its arms raised in encouragement, as if cheering you on from the sidelines.

your lips part slightly, caught between surprise and gratitude. you reach for the note with careful fingers, peeling it away like it’s something delicate, something you want to keep. your eyes lift instinctively, searching for him, and sure enough, beomgyu stood behind the counter, absentmindedly wiping down a tray, but his attention was on you.

the moment your gazes meet, he doesn’t look away. he doesn’t smirk, doesn’t tease—he just smiles, small and knowing, like he’s glad you noticed, like he doesn’t expect anything in return.

your chest tightens, a breath catching somewhere between your ribs.

you duck your head, trying to hide the way your lips curve upward as you tuck the post-it safely between the pages of your book. picking up your fork, you take a bite of the cake, and somehow, the taste feels richer, the flavors sinking into your tongue like warmth itself.

but that was just the start. one morning, when you pick up your usual coffee, something immediately catches your eye. the foam wasn't just smooth and swirled like usual, no, nestled right in the center is a tiny, delicate heart, drawn so subtly that it almost disappears the moment you tilt the cup. your fingers tighten around the sleeve, the heat from the drink seeping into your skin. you glance up instinctively, and there he was, standing behind the counter like always, completely occupied with the espresso machine. or at least, pretending to be. beomgyu's head was slightly turned, watching—waiting—for your reaction, though his hands continue their practiced motions, adjusting knobs and pressing buttons with casual ease.

the moment your gaze meets his, he looks away. just a fraction too fast.

the next time, it wasn't just a heart.

you got this!

the words werescrawled across the side of your cup in his familiar, slightly slanted handwriting, the exclamation mark punctuated with a tiny, grinning bear doodle. your fingers hesitate for a moment before grazing over the ink, tracing the shape of the little bear as a small, involuntary smile tugs at your lips.

he’s never written on your cup before.

your eyes lift almost instinctively, seeking him out, and sure enough—beomgyu was already looking at you from behind the counter. he’s pretending to wipe down the counter, but the smug tilt of his lips betrays him.

“cute bear,” you murmur, lifting the cup slightly as you meet his gaze.

his brows lift, feigning confusion. “hmm?”

you nod toward the cup. “the one you drew.”

“huh.” beomgyu leans against the counter, tapping his chin as if deep in thought. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

you roll your eyes, though you can’t hide the way your fingers tighten around the cup, like you’re holding onto something fleeting, something precious.

then there’s the day he spells your name wrong.

not in the way baristas usually do—an honest mistake, a simple mishearing. no, this was very much on purpose.

you stare down at your cup, brows furrowing at the ridiculous, utterly incorrect jumble of letters scribbled across the surface.

“really?” you deadpan, lifting an unimpressed gaze toward him.

beomgyu grins, slow and wide, the kind of grin that spells trouble, one eyebrow quirking in amusement. “oops,” he says, resting his chin in his palm, eyes twinkling with mischief.

you narrow your eyes. “oops?”

he nods, unbothered. “must’ve misheard you.”

“you spelled it right yesterday. and the day before that. and the week before that.”

he gasps, hand flying to his chest in exaggerated offense. “are you accusing me of something?”

you take a slow, deliberate sip of your coffee, not breaking eye contact.

his smirk deepens, but then—just as you’re about to turn away— “… thanks, though,” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear.

and he does.

because his smile falters for just a second, something softer, something almost shy flickering across his face before he covers it up with another teasing grin. then on a particularly dreary evening, when the sky split open with rain and the wind howls against the buildings, you push open the café door, the small bell jingling softly above you. droplets cling to your sleeves, your hair damp from the unexpected downpour, and despite your best efforts, your clothes were thoroughly soaked.

beomgyu looks up the moment you step inside. his usual playful greeting dies on his lips, replaced by a flicker of concern. without a word, he disappears into the back, his apron swaying slightly as he moves. you barely have time to register his absence before he returns, something folded neatly in his hands.

a clean, fluffy towel.

he hands it to you like it’s second nature, like this is something he would’ve done regardless of who walked through that door. but you can feel the difference—the softness of the fabric, the way it’s still warm, like he pulled it fresh from somewhere just for you.

“you’ll catch a cold like that,” beomgyu murmurs, propping an elbow against the counter as he watches you pat down your damp sleeves. his voice is gentle, but there was something almost scolding beneath the words, something fond.

you let out a small, sheepish laugh, pushing away your damp hair with the edge of the towel. “i didn’t expect it to rain… and i don't really own umbrellas, so..” you mumble, voice quieter than usual.

beomgyu hums, shaking his head lightly, an amused sort of fondness flickering in his eyes. he doesn’t say anything else, just lets you dry off at your own pace, and when you finally return the towel with a grateful smile, he takes it without hesitation, like it was never an inconvenience in the first place.

the next time you visit, the rain has long since stopped, the streets drying beneath the weak afternoon sun. but when you settle into your usual seat, something unfamiliar catches your eye.

tucked neatly against the chair, as if it had always been there, is a small, folded umbrella. a sticky note rests on the handle.

just in case. :)

there’s no name. no signature. but the handwriting was unmistakable—slightly slanted, the letters round in a way that feels familiar.

and you didn't need to guess who left it. but your sweet routine was soon disrupted though. the morning rush hits like a wave, and you were caught in its current. the alarm blares louder than usual, dragging you out of bed faster than you'd like. the clock blinks a terrifyingly late hour, and you scramble to get dressed, brush your teeth, grab your things—anything to make it out the door on time.

you were running late, leaving you no time for the comforting morning stop at the café. you grab your things in a rush, throwing a jacket over your shoulders, your bag slung messily across your body. as you rush out the door, you can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment in the pit of your stomach. you had been looking forward to seeing beomgyu, the thought of his soft smile and the warmth of your usual drink always adding a little extra brightness to your mornings.

but today, it wasn’t meant to be.

still, as you rush through your classes, his face keeps popping into your thoughts. there were moments when you caught yourself smiling, thinking about his little jokes, the way he always makes sure to ask if your coffee’s to your liking. and then there were the fleeting moments when you'd remember the feeling of his gaze on you, how it lingers a little longer than you expect.

it’s silly, you tell yourself. he’s just being nice, right?

but then, your heart betrays you again, fluttering a little faster as you recall the sound of his voice, the way he’d tease you so effortlessly. it’s hard not to feel the small stirrings of something more, something that you can’t quite place. back at the café, beomgyu finds himself glancing toward the door more often than he cares to admit, a soft frown tugging at his lips each time it doesn’t swing open. his mind wanders, his usual focus slipping as the minutes stretch on, each one feeling longer than the last.

he’d noticed you weren’t there that morning, and it had been bothering him more than he would’ve liked to admit. usually, you’d walk in with that soft smile of yours, maybe a joke or two about the day ahead, but today—nothing. the absence of your usual routine feels strange, like a missing piece he hadn’t realized was so important until it was gone.

his hand moves to adjust the espresso machine, but it feels clumsier than usual, as though his thoughts were tangled with the same energy that swirls in the foam he’s trying to perfect. his fingers slip on the cup, almost knocking it over, and he pauses, taking a breath to steady himself.

it’s just one morning, beomgyu tries to convince himself, but the thought doesn’t settle. there was a quiet, persistent worry gnawing at him. his mind races. he wonders if something happened, if you just had a busy morning. he wonders if he’d done something wrong—if he’d said something that might’ve made you not want to come in. his gaze flickers back to the door, the hope of seeing you there quickly replaced by the sinking feeling that maybe you wouldn’t show up at all.

he sighs, wiping a hand over his face as he leans against the counter.

a few, agonizing hours later, you glance at the clock as your last class finally wraps up, the familiar weight of the day’s exhaustion settling into your bones. but there’s something else tugging at you, a quiet pull that urges you to make your way to the café. you can’t shake the feeling that you need to see him, to catch that last sliver of the day before it slips away.

there’s a fleeting hope in your chest, a hope that maybe, just maybe, he would still be there. you hurry through the campus, your steps quickening as the cold night air nips at your skin. your thoughts are scattered, your mind drifting between assignments, thoughts of the morning, and, of course, beomgyu.

by the time you reached the café, you were almost breathless, your heart beating a little faster than usual. you push open the door, the familiar chime ringing through the quiet space, and you freeze for just a moment.

and there he was

beomgyu was behind the counter as always, wiping down the last of the espresso machine with his back to you. the soft hum of the machine is the only sound in the room as he moves, his motions deliberate, like he’s trying to finish up for the night but something—someone—was keeping him here a little longer.

you hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should interrupt or just slip out quietly, but then he hears the door open, his head turning toward you with that smile that makes your heart leap in your chest.

“you’re here,” he says, his voice softer than usual, like he’s surprised to see you after the day you’ve both had. his gaze holds yours a moment longer than it needs to, his eyes catching on yours in that familiar, lingering way that always seems to make you forget how to breathe.

he looks... relieved.

you feel that same flutter in your chest, your nerves buzzing from the way he’s looking at you, like he’d been waiting for this moment too. without thinking, you find yourself smiling a little wider. “i didn’t want to miss seeing you today,” the moment they’re out, your breath catches in your throat. what did i just say? it feels like the room falls completely still, like everything has paused for just a second. your face burns instantly, a deep, flushed heat spreading across your cheeks, and you can’t stop yourself from mentally cringing. oh no, that came out way too—but then, beomgyu’s face shifts ever so slightly. his eyebrows raise, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. you can almost see the moment he processes your words, like his brain is trying to catch up with what just happened. he stands frozen for a heartbeat, as if unsure of how to respond.

and then, almost without thinking, he steps closer, his voice soft but undeniably sincere. “i…” he trails off, his gaze dropping for a second before meeting yours again. there’s an almost sheepish quality to his smile as he shifts his weight, his fingers nervously tapping against the counter. “i didn’t want to miss seeing you either,” he says, and his voice is quieter now, a little unsure but genuine.

your heart does a little flip, and for a second, the air between you both feels thick with something unexpressed, yet shared. the words were simple, but there’s a vulnerability to them, like you both opened up without meaning to. beomgyu clears his throat, shifting slightly, but you notice the way his fingers were trembling just a little as he adjusts the cloth in his hands. it’s the kind of nervous energy you recognize in yourself too, the same shy warmth you both feel in each other’s presence.

“so… how was your day? uh, i mean, not that you have to tell me. but, you know—did you—did you get up to anything fun? i noticed you weren’t here this morning, and i… uh, just…” he trails off, the words spilling out faster than he can control. “i was, uh, wondering if everything was okay? did something happen? you didn’t—um, you didn’t have time to swing by, or—uh, maybe you just didn’t feel like it? or—”

he stops suddenly, his eyes wide with embarrassment, realizing he’s been rambling. his hand moves to the back of his neck in that familiar gesture, the same bashful movement you’ve come to recognize in him. “sorry… i’m just, uh, rambling. didn’t mean to… go on like that.”

you can’t help but laugh softly, the sound light and warm, and it instantly makes his face turn pink. “no, it’s okay,” you say with a small chuckle, trying to reassure him. “i didn’t come by because i, uh, got caught up with some stuff at uni. i was running late and just… didn’t have time to swing by this morning, that’s all.”

beomgyu nods slowly, relief washing over his face as he lets out a quiet breath. “ah, i see…” he murmurs, and there’s another beat of silence, the tension between you two settling into something quieter, more comfortable. you then break the silence, your voice soft but curious. “so, um, are you closing soon?” he looks up, his eyes lighting up a little as he remembers the time. “ah, right, yeah…” he says, glancing around the almost-empty café. “i was about to start cleaning up, actually…” he looks back at you, a small, unsure smile tugging at his lips. you shift awkwardly, feeling the weight of his gaze on you as you try to offer a smile. “if it’s not too much trouble… i don’t mind waiting. i can, uh, keep you company while you finish up,” you say, your words coming out a bit more hesitant than you intended.

beomgyu’s expression softens even further, a small smile tugging at his lips as he looks at you. “you’d do that?” he asks, his voice quiet but filled with something genuine, something appreciative.

you nod, trying to ease the slight tension you’re both feeling. “yeah, of course. i don’t mind,” you reply, your voice warmer now, a little more confident in the offer. the idea of spending more time with him, even in the quiet space of the café, feels comfortable. natural, almost.

his eyes flickered with surprise, then melted into a small, shy grin. “well, in that case… i’d really like that,” he says softly, and there’s a softness in his tone that makes your heart flutter more than you’d like to admit.

as beomgyu begins wiping down the counter, the sound of the rag against the wood fills the quiet café, but there was something soothing about it. the atmosphere between you two had shifted, the awkwardness melting away, replaced by a mutual understanding.

he casually glances over at you, his eyes soft, and you find yourself easing into the rhythm of the moment. the gentle hum of the espresso machine still lingers in the background, and the quietness of the café feels oddly intimate now. it’s just the two of you, and for the first time in a while, it feels like time has slowed down.

you both start talking about your usuals, banter flowing effortlessly between you. you laugh at his silly jokes, the kind that seem to roll off his tongue without any effort, and he grins at your reactions, eyes sparkling with a joyful glint. the sound of your shared laughter fills the air, light and genuine. there’s no rush, no pressure to say anything in particular—just the soft cadence of two people enjoying the quiet connection between them.

"i saw that movie you mentioned last week," beomgyu says, his tone casual as he dries the cups, but his eyes flicker over to you, awaiting your response. "it was way better than i expected."

you smile, nodding. "i knew you’d like it! i was practically bouncing in my seat the whole time." the memory makes you laugh softly, and beomgyu chuckles along with you, his eyes crinkling at the corners, that familiar warmth present in his expression.

"yeah, i could tell," he teases lightly. "you were so into it, you probably didn’t even notice when the popcorn started spilling."

you laugh again, shaking your head. "hey, that's not true! well... maybe just a little bit... but it was totally worth it."

the comfortable back-and-forth continues, and the more you talk, the more natural it feels. you realize how easy it is to be with him—how effortlessly the conversation flows. beomgyu listens intently, his smile never quite leaving his face. you, in turn, find yourself talking more freely, your words coming quicker now, as if the walls you hadn’t even realized you put up were slowly crumbling.

as the minutes ticked by, you both seemed to settle into the quiet ease of the moment, the kind where you don’t have to worry about saying the right thing. the soft clinking of dishes, the occasional hum of the fridge, and your shared laughter fill the space, making the café feel like your own little world.

as beomgyu wipes down the last of the counters and sets everything back in place, the realization settles in—the night was truly winding down. you watch as he moves with practiced ease, stacking chairs, flipping the sign on the door to closed, and turning off the glowing menu board behind the counter. the once-lively café has now quieted into something more intimate, bathed in the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the windows.

you linger near the door, the warmth of his presence still wrapped around you even as he finishes tidying up. when he finally steps out from behind the counter, he stretches his arms above his head with a tired but satisfied sigh, his sweater riding up slightly in the process. you look away quickly, swallowing the sudden flustered feeling creeping up your neck.

"all done," he announces, running a hand through his hair, making it fluffier than before. he looks over at you with a small, almost reluctant smile. “guess it’s time to head out.”

you nod, though there’s a quiet hesitation between you both, like neither of you really want to leave just yet. still, you step outside together, the cool night air brushing against your skin as beomgyu locks up the café behind him. the street was quieter now, the usual buzz of the day replaced by the occasional passing car and the distant hum of the city settling in for the night.

you turn to him, shifting slightly on your feet. “well… thanks for letting me keep you company,” you say softly, offering a small smile. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

beomgyu looks at you for a beat longer than necessary, his lips pressing together before curling into something shy and thoughtful. “yeah… see you tomorrow,” he murmurs, but he doesn’t move, his fingers still loosely holding onto the keys in his hand.

you hesitate too, caught in the strange, quiet space between goodbye and something else. and then, just as you were about to turn, beomgyu shifts on his feet, sucking in a small breath before blurting out, “wait.”

you blink up at him, surprised. "yeah?"

he clears his throat, suddenly looking uncharacteristically shy as he scratches the back of his neck. "uh, are you… walking home?” his voice is casual, but there’s something tentative underneath, something unsure.

you tilt your head slightly, nodding. “i am, why...?”

beomgyu lets out a breath, as if he’d just made up his mind about something. “then—” he pauses, shifting again, fingers fidgeting with the strap of his bag. “let me walk you home.”

your heart stutters in your chest.

you stare at him, caught off guard by the unexpected offer, and beomgyu, ever so slightly, begins to fidget under your gaze. "i mean—" he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. “only if you want me to! if you’d rather walk alone, that’s totally fine! i just—y’know, it’s late, and you were rushing this morning, so i figured you probably had a long day and—”

he’s rambling again, words tumbling over themselves in his rush to explain, but there’s something endearing about it, something warm about the way he’s trying so hard not to make this feel like a big deal. and maybe it isn’t—to him, maybe it’s just him being considerate. but to you, the offer lingers in the air, heavier than just a simple walk home.

you find yourself smiling, something soft and fond curling in your chest. “i’d like that,” you say quietly, and the way his expression shifts—relief flickering across his face, followed by something almost bashful—makes your heart skip a beat.

“yeah?” he asks, as if he hadn’t expected you to agree so easily.

“yeah.. i really would..” you nod, and beomgyu presses his lips together to hide the growing smile threatening to spread across his face.

“okay,” he breathes out, glancing ahead before turning back to you. “then… let’s go.”

and so, the two of you fall into step, walking side by side under the glow of the streetlights. the air between you was lighter now, tinged with something warm and comfortable, and though neither of you said it out loud, there was an unspoken understanding lingering in the quiet spaces between your footsteps.

the night air feels softer than usual, the quiet hum of the city settling around you like a warm embrace. each step you took beside beomgyu feels slower, more deliberate—the way your arms sway just slightly too close, the way the sound of your footsteps seems to sync up in a steady rhythm, the way neither of you seem to be in any real rush to get anywhere. his presence beside you was warm, almost grounding, and yet, there was something just barely there; a tension that isn’t quite awkward, but isn’t entirely absent either. it lingers in the spaces between words, in the pauses that stretch just a little too long, in the way you catch him glancing at you before quickly looking away.

beomgyu clears his throat after a moment, the sound small but noticeable in the hush of the evening. “so… do you live close?” he asks, his voice carrying that usual casual lilt, yet it also held just the tiniest bit of hesitance. you glance at him, catching the way his head tilts slightly, his eyes soft in the dim light. he’s watching you, waiting—not impatiently, not expectantly, just curiously, like he genuinely wants to know, like he’s trying to hold onto the conversation for as long as he can.

“yeah,” you answer, voice light but honest. “not too far, actually. just a few more blocks.” beomgyu hums in acknowledgment, nodding slightly as his gaze flickers to the sidewalk ahead. he shifts a little, stuffing his hands deeper into the pockets of his hoodie, and for a moment, it feels like that should be the end of it. just a casual exchange, a small piece of information shared and then left behind. but you find yourself glancing at him again, feeling the question lingering on your tongue before you even fully process the thought. “what about you?”

he lets out a quiet, almost amused breath, as if he wasn’t expecting you to ask. then, with a small shake of his head, he admits, “kind of far, honestly... i usually take the bus home.” you frown slightly, your steps slowing just a little. “then… won’t you miss the last bus?”

beomgyu pauses for half a second before waving a dismissive hand. “no worries, i’ll be fine. there’s a late-night one that still runs. besides…” he sneaks a glance at you, his voice quieter now, “this is the longest i’ve ever spent time with you, anyway.” your breath catches, just for a second, and suddenly, the night air feels heavier, thicker, charged with something neither of you fully acknowledge but both undeniably feel.

beomgyu doesn’t look at you after saying it, doesn’t give any indication that he’s aware of how deeply his words just affected you. but you see it—the way his fingers twitch slightly where they’re tucked into his hoodie, the way the tips of his ears, barely visible beneath his hair, grow a faint shade darker under the streetlights. he’s nervous, you realize, and the thought makes something warm bloom in your chest.

neither of you spoke immediately after that, letting the moment stretch between you, the silence thick but not uncomfortable. the city continues on around you, distant sounds of traffic somewhere far away, but here, in this quiet little bubble of time, it feels like it was just the two of you.

and then, after a beat, beomgyu clears his throat, breaking the silence with a soft but distinct exhale. “so, um… i was actually kinda worried when you didn’t show up today.”

you blink, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his voice, and turn to him fully. his words catch you off guard, like a quiet breeze that brushes past unexpectedly. “worried?” you ask, your voice soft, the question almost coming out as a whisper. beomgyu nods, a slight blush coloring his cheeks as he scratches the back of his neck, his eyes flickering to the ground for a moment before meeting yours again. “yeah,” he admits, his voice quieter now, “i mean… i know you don’t have to come in every morning or anything, but…” he trails off for a moment, as if trying to find the right way to phrase it. “it just felt weird not seeing you,” he finally says, and the simplicity of it hits you, but it’s also layered with something more—something soft and real that you didn’t expect. beomgyu suddenly exhales, dragging a hand through his hair in a familiar gesture, almost as if he’s trying to smooth over the awkwardness that’s starting to creep in. “god, listen to me,” he chuckles, looking down at his shoes like they’re the most fascinating thing in the world. “i sound so—i dunno. i really thought maybe something happened. or—or maybe you got tired of the coffee.” you smile, feeling a warmth bubble up in your chest at the thought of him being concerned, at the idea that he missed your presence even a little. it felt good, almost comforting. shaking your head, you meet his gaze and reassure him softly, “definitely not tired of the coffee.”

beomgyu gasps dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest in mock offense, and for a moment, the tension between you two lightens. his expression shifts into something playful, teasing. “so just tired of me, then? great,” he quips, his lips curling into a grin, his eyes sparkling with the same mischievous energy he always has.

you roll your eyes, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. “i told you, i overslept, dummy.” you tease back, a small laugh escaping you at the way his face contorts in exaggerated surprise. “right...” beomgyu mutters, his voice lighter now. his eyes flicker over to you for a brief moment, a small but genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips. then, after a beat, he groans, dragging a hand down his face in frustration, his fingers tugging at his hair as if he’s mortified by himself. “god, i rambled again, didn’t i?” he mutters, his voice sounding a little defeated, but there’s a humorous edge to it, like he’s simultaneously amused and embarrassed by how he’s acting. you grin wider, not able to help yourself as you watch him. it’s almost endearing, seeing him so flustered and out of his element. “you kinda did, yeah.” you tease, your tone light but affectionate, knowing exactly what he’s feeling. beomgyu groans even louder this time, as if the embarrassment was too much for him to bear, dramatically tossing his head back with a sigh. “honestly.. why do i keep doing this around you?” his words were laced with a humor that was so raw and real, but there was an underlying vulnerability to it too. and that's when it happens—before you even have time to think, before you can stop yourself, the words slip from your lips as if they’ve always been there, just waiting for the right moment. “maybe it’s because you like me.” the moment the words leave your mouth, time seemed to have stopped. oh god, no. you freeze, a wave of panic crashing over you as you realize what you just said, your heart practically thundering in your chest. beomgyu’s reaction was almost instantaneous—he freezes too, his breath catching in his throat, his steps faltering, and when you glance up at him, his wide eyes meet yours. he looks stunned, like his brain needs a moment to catch up, his mouth opening slightly like he’s about to say something—but then nothing comes out. you can’t look away from him, your breath stuck in your throat as you process what just happened. oh my god, i just said that, you think, panicking. your heart races, your chest tightens, and before you can think of anything to say to backtrack, he just stands there, blinking at you as if he’s trying to understand the weight of your words. but then, out of nowhere, beomgyu speaks, his words tumbling out before he could think. “do you wanna go on a date with me?” now it was your turn to freeze. what? the words were almost absurd in their suddenness, completely unexpected, and you can feel the ground beneath you shift as if the world itself just stopped turning. it takes a second for your brain to even process what he just said. there’s a full moment of stunned silence before your heart stops completely, and in that moment, all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears and the soft thrum of your pulse. beomgyu, bless him, doesn’t seem to realize what he just did. he’s standing there, red as a tomato, his hands fumbling with his hoodie as he tries to make himself smaller, as if he could physically hide from the mess he’s just made of himself. his eyes were wide, the embarrassment practically radiating off him, but still—still, he doesn’t backtrack.

then, out of nowhere, he speaks. beomgyu’s words tumble out like he's trying to catch up with himself, his voice shaky. “w-wait, no, i—i didn’t mean it like that,” he stammers, his hands nervously twitching at his sides, unsure of whether to shove them in his pockets or rub them together. “i mean... like... uh... that sounded so much less—i mean... you know what i mean, right? it wasn’t supposed to sound like... like that—i wasn’t—i mean, i do like you but like—oh god—” the way his words crash into each other, barely making sense but all spilling out in one chaotic rush, only makes you smile. it was impossible not to. the sight of him, so flustered, trying to explain himself while stumbling over every word, was so endearing that you couldn’t help but laugh softly. the moment was so... him—so sweetly awkward, it made your heart flutter even more. beomgyu swallows hard, and you can practically see the nerves radiating off him. he grips the hem of his hoodie again, as if it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. his eyes were fixed on you, waiting for something, anything—his words a breathless jumble. “maybe you already knew that, or—or maybe i just embarrassed myself completely, but if you feel the same way... uh... y’know... would you wanna, like, you know, go on a date with me?” every single word beomgyu said was wrapped up in vulnerability, but there was still something undeniably hopeful in his eyes, something that made the tension in the air grow even thicker, as if the world was holding its breath with you.

and before either of you could take another breath, you just do it. without thinking, without hesitation, you lean in—fast—and pressed a soft, quick kiss to his cheek, right there in the middle of the street, in the quiet of the night. it was light, quick, and maybe a little impulsive—but it was enough. it was everything.

beomgyu stills, eyes wide, his entire body stiffening for a moment, before his hands slowly creep up to his cheek where your lips just were, as if he’s trying to figure out if it really happened. his face was so red, you think it might burst, and the awkwardness that settles in the moment was palpable, but it was also beautiful.

“there,” you say, your voice a little softer than before, your smile warm and genuine. “that’s your answer.”

beomgyu doesn’t say anything at first. his mind clearly short-circuiting as his fingers hover over his cheek, still in disbelief that you actually did that. it takes him a full moment to process what just happened before he lets out a strangled, breathless laugh, eyes still wide.

“wait, does this mean—is that a yes…?” he asks meekly, his voice a little more unsure this time, the words tumbling out in a rush as he tries to piece it all together.

you can’t help but laugh softly at how sweetly flustered beomgyu was, the corners of your lips curving into a gentle smile. “mhm,” you answer, your voice soft and teasing, like you’re savoring the moment. you try your best to hide the warmth that rushes to your cheeks, but it was impossible when he looked at you like that, with such a mix of relief, hope, and something else—something that made your chest tighten with a quiet excitement.

“i would love to go on a date with you, gyu,” you add, and the words come so naturally now, like they’ve been waiting to slip out for ages. there was no hesitation, just the soft certainty of it all.

beomgyu’s eyes widen, and his smile, though shy, spreads across his face like sunlight breaking through clouds. it was slow at first, but then it deepens, his entire face lighting up with a happiness so pure, it almost makes you forget how to breathe. he then lets out a breath after a moment, a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, something light and nervous. “so… uh, when do we… uh… go on this date, then?” he asks, his voice soft but uncertain.

you couldn't help but smile, feeling the warmth of the moment settle in your chest. without thinking, you suggest, “how about tomorrow?” beomgyu falters for just a second as he processes your words. his eyebrows knit together slightly, his lips parting as if he’s about to say something, but nothing comes out at first. he blinks a few times, clearly taken aback by the quickness of your offer.

“wait—tomorrow?” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, and for a moment, he looks almost stunned by the suddenness of it all. there was something undeniably adorable about the way he’s trying to catch up with the pace of your words.

you bite your lip, feeling the nerves creep up your spine, but you don’t back down. “yeah,” you say with a playful shrug, trying to sound casual, like suggesting tomorrow as a date wasn't the most nerve-wracking thing you’ve ever done. “why wait when we could just… go ahead and do it, right?” beomgyu looks at you for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing as if he’s trying to process what just happened. then, slowly, as if the weight of your suggestion has finally registered, his lips curl up into a shy, crooked smile. “that is true, yeah,” he says, his voice shaky but filled with that same eagerness that makes your heart skip a beat. “tomorrow sounds.. perfect. yeah. let’s do that.” you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, the excitement swirling in your chest. “it’s a date, then,” you say, your grin spreading wider, the words feeling so right as they leave your mouth.

beomgyu’s face was still flushed, and you can see his hands twitching at his sides, like he doesn’t know what to do with them. he laughs nervously, the sound filling the quiet street around you. “yeah, tomorrow,” he repeats, as if saying it out loud helps solidify the reality of it all.

then, without a word, he reaches his hand toward you. it was a simple gesture, but in that moment, it felt like everything you could ask for and more. you looked at his hand for just a second, a tiny flutter of nervousness in your chest, before you reach out, your fingers brushing against his.

beomgyu’s hand closes around yours, the warmth of his skin sending a quiet thrill through you. there’s a sense of quiet satisfaction, of happiness shared in the simplest touch, and you both fall into step side by side, fingers intertwined. the world feels a little quieter, a little softer, as you walk together into the night, the promise of tomorrow’s date lingering between you.

꒰🧸꒱ @pagelets @jettithink @killa-1009 @j-ji-jia @frankghgr @dawngyu @usuallyunlikelyfox @sxmmerberries @napipope-ta @bamgeutori @xylatox @hyunj00 <3 (click here if you want to be added !! ^^)

[beom-pyu]

cologne ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ choi beomgyu

choi beomgyu x fem!reader , tags; lakeside cabin vacation funtime yay , summer , frenemies w beomgyu , annoyed reader , more friends to lovers bc why not! , some enemies to lovers? , jealous!beomgyu , nsfw , reader is in deep denial , silent pining , can't be a beom-pyu fic without fluff at the end!

warnings: smut (minors dni!) , slight frottage , thigh fucking , jealousy , subtle perv beomgyu? very subtle , beomgyu is a little possessive , cursing , needy beomgyu

( inspiration: cologne by beabadoobee!! literally has nothing to do with the song, but the vibe just reminded me of this fic so! :] )

a/n: just something cute and simple since it's almost summer!!! also, THANK YOU ALL FOR 100+ FOLLOWERS!! im oh so grateful for all of you readers and your lovely comments as well as cute tags and reblogs <;3 you guys make my day!!!

wc: 4.1k+

12:01 a.m

you place the last pillow in between your bodies, humming in approval at your makeshift pillow border. you clap your hands once to get beomgyu's attention, the brunette looking up at you with exasperation from the other side of the small bed.

"okay, so the rules are very clear. don't cross this line, don't—"

"don't touch your stuff, and don't talk to you. i know. you've repeated yourself like twelve times," beomgyu finishes your interrupted speech, ending his sentence with a roll of his eyes.

your face contorts into disgust at the boy on the other side of the pillow wall, rolling your eyes back at him. "whatever. don't steal all of the blanket either." 

beomgyu's lip curls up in an equal amount of repulsion, running his annoying fingers through his annoying hair. you abruptly turn your back to him, laying down to pull the sheets up to your chin. 

it’s just your luck to be stuck with beomgyu for your friend group outing. you are now solidified in your belief that flipping a coin was the most idiotic way to pick roommates. 

how did you end up with the single bed and choi beomgyu? this has to be some type of spiritual karma. maybe you should've given up your seat on the bus for that old lady after all.

"don't tell me what to do," he mumbles as he reaches over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table next to him, settling into the covers. you have half the mind to shoot a snarky retort back at him, but you decide to be the bigger person (for once) and just go to sleep. 

this does not mean he wins though.

rule  #1 (don't cross the pillow border) seems to be the easiest rule to follow. you both sleep with your backs to each other, bodies fully separated by the plush cushions you’d stolen from the cabin’s couch. it may be the littlest bit uncomfortable, but you rather wake up with a stiff back than feel beomgyu's annoying foot touch your leg under the sheets.

a shiver racks down your spine simply at the thought.

rule #2 (don't touch your stuff) is a little harder for choi “annoying bitch” beomgyu, much to your dismay. when you get up at 3 a.m. to pee, you notice your charger plugged into beomgyu's annoying phone, your own phone sitting sadly next to it at a whopping 23%. when did he even…?

you inhale deeply to calm yourself.

now, you would’ve… should’ve chucked beomgyu's phone across the room and poured ice down the back of his shirt in retaliation to breaking your rule, but when you look down at his sleeping face, you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

beomgyu's annoyingly pink lips are slightly parted, his annoying hair all messy and flopped over his annoying forehead into his annoying eyes, and his annoying chest rises and falls deeply.

he looks peaceful. cute, even.

...

wait.

what. the. fuck?

you silently gag at yourself, shaking your head before pulling a face at the passing thought. you must really be sleep deprived if you think choi “assface” beomgyu looks cute right now. even after breaking rule #2 (don't touch your stuff)!

you shake your head, shuffling over to unplug his phone, pretending to hit him with the device before you toss it to the foot of the bed. you happily plug yours back in before carrying on with your mission to the bathroom.

by the time morning rolls around, rule #3 (don't talk to you) is beyond broken.

there is no reason, no reason at all, as to why you are awoken to beomgyu's shouts bouncing off the walls of the small cabin room. 

"SPIDER! Y/N, GET UP! THERE'S A FUCKING SPIDER!"

you groan as you try to blink your eyes open to assess the situation, but the blinding sunlight through the sheer curtains of the room burns your corneas, your eyes squeezing shut again.

“just kill it then!” you whine, burying your head back into your pillow in an attempt to tune him out and fall back asleep. you couldn’t have been any dumber though—in a single beat, the warm white blanket over your body is pulled off, the cool morning air attacking your skin immediately. “what’s your fucking problem?!”

“get your ass up and kill it for me!” beomgyu’s annoying voice fills your ears, and that was your final straw, grabbing the pillow from under your head to chuck it in the direction of the noise, successfully hearing a muffled ‘oof’ in the distance. you smile in victory.

“damn, what did i do?” 

instead of hearing beomgyu’s complaints of getting hit, you’re instead met with his loud cackles. you peek an eye open to see soobin standing in the doorway with a pout on his lips and a pillow in his hands. wrong target.

“sorry, soobin! i was trying to hit that loser,” you apologize, sitting up to rub the sleep out of your eyes as you point toward beomgyu’s annoying figure. you see soobin give you a small smile, shaking his head slightly, and beomgyu frowns at the name you called him. serves him right.

after a good 5 minutes of soobin attempting to chase down the spider and get rid of it with beomgyu on his tail recording the entire interaction, you manage to drift off to sleep again, happily spreading your entire body out in the starfish position now that you have the bed all to yourself.

another few hours pass before a hand is shaking you awake.

“5 more minutes,” you grumble, turning onto your side to curl up into the fetal position, blanket still long gone.

“c’mon, y/n! get dressed—we’re going to the lake!” kai announces enthusiastically, shaking you again until you finally open your eyes, feeling a little disappointed at the fact that the voice doesn’t belong to beomgyu.

…

only because you're in the mood to argue! that’s why!

that’s totally why…

3:36 p.m

"soobin!" you shout down the trail, waving a bit as said soobin stops in his tracks, turning around to wait for you to catch up. you jog a bit to meet him, a wide smile crossing his face.

"hey y/n. you coming from the lake?" you guys fall into stride together, nodding mindlessly at his words.

"mhm. i forgot a towel.” you motion to your drenched body, and soobin hums in confirmation.

“i’m heading back too. yeonjun’s rod broke,” soobin informs you, holding up the broken fishing rod with a small, sheepish smile. you laugh a bit at the poor sight, covering your smile behind your hand.

“how did that even happen?”

and from there ensued a step-by-step breakdown of how yeonjun managed to break a pro-grade fishing rod, trailing into a bunch of other crazy stories soobin has to tell as you trek to the cabin. once you get back, your stomach hurts from laughing so much. soobin has his arm slung over your shoulders as he continues to tell the most embarrassing story of his life and you just can’t help it.

"stop laughing at me! everyone saw naruto my underwear," soobin whines, but the smile on his face gives it all away.

“maybe stop wearing jeans that are 2 sizes too small? you’re not in one direction,” you tease as you walk into the cabin, slipping off your flip-flops by the door. you hear soobin half scoff and half laugh at your comment, his hand coming to your waist faintly as to move your body so he can slip past.

you see beomgyu sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, watching you guys with narrowed eyes as he bites into an apple slowly. you feel uncomfortable with his intense gaze on you, suddenly aware of the wet bikini on your body, wrapping your arms around yourself self-consciously.

“you try finding a good pair of jeans when you’re 6’1,” soobin retorts, taking his own shoes off before looking around for the fishing supplies. you puff out a chuckle, heading over to the kitchen, you brush past beomgyu’s figure to dig in the freezer, your back fully turned to him.

“you want a popsicle, soobin?” you call over your shoulder as you pick out a strawberry one for yourself and a cherry one for soobin, already knowing his answer.

“yes, please!” he responds in a silly voice and you smile a bit at the action, turning around to make your way back over to him. your brows furrow at the sudden disappearance of beomgyu’s presence but shrug it away, making your way over to your lanky friend.

“did you want me to walk you back to the lake?” soobin asks from where his head is ducked into a closet, sounds of clanking filling the space as he digs around. you think for a moment as you lick your popsicle.

“no, you go ahead. i’m gonna shower and then help taehyun set up the grill,” you respond, soobin letting out a little noise of triumph as he finally locates the fishing rods, standing back up straight. 

“thank you,” he speaks as you pass him the popsicle, patting your head affectionately. “i’ll see you later!”

“see you!” 

and then he’s swiftly out the door, leaving you alone in the front room of the cabin. you’re reminded of your drenched body when you look down to see the puddle you’ve trailed across the hardwood floor, mentally promising to clean it up before you make your way back to your shared room.

you knock on the door before entering, just in case someone just so happens to be inside changing or something. when you receive no response, you push the door open to see beomgyu on the bed, headphones covering his ears. they don’t seem to be doing the best job though, considering the fact that you can still hear the music blasting through the speakers.

the eardrum damage must explain why he ignored your rules last night. you accidentally let out a cackle at your own inside joke, somehow gaining the attention of beomgyu who looks up at you with startled eyes. he removes his headphones to settle around his neck before the infamous lip curl appears on his face.

"you fucking scared me. why were you creeping like that?" beomgyu shoots towards you, venom in his voice. it doesn’t phase you one bit though, pursing your lips as you shrug your shoulders, licking your slowly melting popsicle as you head over to your bag on the opposite side of the bed.

"i knocked but you didn't hear cause of your loud ass music. not my fault."

you can feel beomgyu's eye roll from behind your head, but instead of receiving a retort back, he remains silent. it’s odd. choi “always has something to say” beomgyu doesn’t have a comeback ready for you? you grab your towel and stand back up to face him, cocking your head. he’s acting weird.

"why are you acting weird?" 

very classy.

beomgyu looks up from his phone screen, squinting his eyes at you. his lips are pressed together tightly, his hair messy, and in his eyes like it had been that night, your mind flashing back to his sleeping appearance.

gross. totally not cute. he’s choi beomgyu—so he’s automatically gross. he has to be.

"i'm not..." beomgyu drags out as if he’s unsure of his own statement. "i'm just tired because someone decided to make us sleep in the worst position known to man."

you give him a small glare before focusing your attention back down on your bag to grab your body wash and loofah. a beat passes as he continues.

"you seem to be having fun with soobin though."

your head lifts back up, giving him an inquisitive stare. 

“what? you can’t stand seeing me actually happy and not trying to rip my hair out like when i’m around you?” you laugh in amusement, flipping your towel over your shoulder to reduce the clutter in your hands. you could’ve missed it—you almost missed it—the way beomgyu’s eyes slightly dull at your words, nibbling on his bottom lip in thought. you try not to think of it though, walking to leave the room.

“anyways, we’re grilling at the lake in like 2 hours so don’t try to say i didn’t tell you!” and that was that as you exit, an uneasy swirling within your gut.

2:23 a.m

you sit on the edge of the bed as you plug in your phone, making sure its in the outlet on your side of the bed this time to avoid any more rule-breaking. you adjust your tank top as you stand to retrieve some more pillows. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re struggling to ignore the way beomgyu has been acting around you all day. 

little touches at the lake, playfully wiping your mouth during dinner, sharing a blanket with you as you all sat around the campfire, his head on your shoulder. maybe he really was just tired today. maybe he was so out of it that he didn’t realize how out of the norm he’s been acting.

it’s not like you hate choi “mr. annoying” beomgyu. that isn’t the case at all! you’d even go as far as to consider him your… friend. he just has a knack for pushing all your wrong buttons, evoking such guttural annoyance out of your body in a way that no one else can. it’s always been that way since the day you first met in high school.

but he’s never been like this, you think as you grab the pillows off of the floor to rebuild your pillow wall. his voice stops your movement, though, your head whipping around to see a freshly showered beomgyu—his hair is all wet and wavy, his skin smooth and golden from the summer sun. the sweatpants he’s wearing hang low on his hips, revealing the waistband of his underwear.

you swallow a bit as your eyes widen at his figure. 

only because you’re not used to seeing him in such a minuscule amount of clothes!

yeah… that’s why.

“can we go without the stupid border? my back still fucking hurts from last night,” beomgyu complains as he makes his way over to the bed, looking a little too good in the warm lighting of the bedside table’s lamp, an orange hue casting over his skin. 

you’re frozen as you watch the way his muscles move as he climbs into the bed, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. his eyes meet yours, a brow raised in question. you blink, snapping yourself out of whatever trance you were in, clearing your throat as you drop the pillows back onto the ground.

“yea, whatever. just—don’t touch me with your gross feet,” you mumble, slipping into the bed yourself. beomgyu laughs a bit at your words, reaching over to turn off the lamp. 

“just my feet, huh? so you wouldn’t care if it were my hands?” he asks, obviously joking—but you feel your stomach swoop slightly at the thought.

no! you’re just tired. it’s been a long day.

“don’t touch me at all, loser. and don���t talk to me either! starting now.” you turn your back to him, a perfect mirror of the night before as you pull the blanket up and over your body. the room is silent other than the slight creaking of the wooden bedframe as beomgyu gets comfortable. 

as much as you want to ignore his presence completely, you simply can’t. he’s too close to your body, so close that you can feel his steady breaths on your shoulder, his body heat radiating onto your exposed skin. you try to squeeze your eyes shut and force yourself to just sleep, but he scoots closer. and closer. and closer—until his chest is fully pressed against your back, a hand coming to rest on your hip.

your heart pounds in your ears as you take in his touch. you should be telling him to get off of you, or push him onto the floor for breaking your rule! but his hand is heavy and hot on your hip, his fingers playing with the hem of your tank top for a second before they dip underneath, splaying his hand out onto your tummy. his touch is hot and searing. your stomach flips at the sensation.

you can feel his dick chub up against your sleeping pants, his hips slowly rutting up against you. you feel heat rush to your core at the simple action, your heart stuttering a bit.

“beomgyu, what are you doing?” you whisper, voice shaky and unstable as you feel him roll his hips onto your ass. 

“please, let me break your rules just this once,” he whispers back, deep voice filling your ears, clouding up your mind. his voice is breathy and low, holding you back against him. “i need—fuck, please, i just—”

his words come out sparse as he rolls his hips against yours again. your mouth is dry, unsure if this is even real. the beomgyu you know wouldn’t even dare to be closer than 2 feet near you, and now here he is, begging in your ear.

“what do you need, beomgyu?” you mumble back, biting your lip as he ruts against you a little faster, a small broken moan leaving his lips at the friction. you’re wet—you can feel yourself dripping into your panties as his fingers press into your skin. 

“you, y/n. i need y—been wanting you all day,” he whines into your ear, his nose nudging against your shoulder. it’s all too intimate, too intense—and you hate the fact that you like the way his breath feels on the back of your neck. “can i fuck your thighs, please? please, i won’t put it in—just your thighs, please.”

you inhale, wanting to weigh out the pros and cons—but you want him just as badly. your head is nodding before you can even think and beomgyu’s lips press against your shoulder, mumbling thank yous as his hands scramble to pull down your pants and underwear in one swift motion, before pulling his dick out. you feel it twitch on your lower back and you press against him, enjoying the way his breathing picks up a little too much.

you lift your leg a bit so he can slide his heavy dick in between your thighs, his shaft nudged up against your wet pussy. you sigh at the weight, beomgyu’s hand pressing flat against your stomach to hold you in place.

“thank you, thank you, thank you,” he whimpers out as he begins thrusting quickly, going dumb at the way your cunt drips onto his length, easing the glide. you tilt your head back a bit and beomgyu’s immediately kissing up the expanse of your neck, nipping at your skin, moaning in your ear. it’s so lewd and dirty and your hand comes down to rub at your clit, moaning quietly at the relief.

beomgyu notices your movement, brushing your hand away to do the work for you, his soft fingers rubbing delicious circles on your bud as his thrusts quicken, your thighs becoming wet with a mixture of your own slick and his precome. you can’t help the quiet moans falling out of your mouth at the feeling, his fingers moving just right over your sensitive clit, the drag of his veiny dick applying the perfect amount of pressure against your entrance. 

“‘m better than soobin. so much better than him. only i can make you feel like this,” he mumbles into your skin, voice high and whiny as he thrusts against you, pressing down on your clit in a way that makes your gut tighten. you can barely process his words—something about soobin?—but you’re too lost in beomgyu’s touch, his hips stuttering against your gushing pussy.

you’re unable to control your noises as your hand grabs onto his wrist, feeling your orgasm rushing upon you quickly. beomgyu’s dick is twitching against your folds and the combination of his breathy moans and stimulation on your swollen bud is too much. your body tenses up as you cum, pleasure washing over you in waves as you whimper in beomgyu’s arms.

“that’s it, baby. cum on my cock—fuck, just like that,” beomgyu talks you through your orgasm, fingers only slowing on your clit as he cums himself. you can feel the stripes of burning cum shoot onto your thighs, his thrusts faltering as he whines, mouth hot against your skin. you lay there catching your breath, head spinning as you gradually come back to reality, beomgyu’s hand still pressed against your rising and falling stomach.

his forehead rests on your shoulder, breathing heavily for a bit before you feel delicate kisses on your skin, trailing up your neck. you lean into his touch, letting those butterflies swarm your stomach again at the little action. 

you don’t want to speak first—you don’t know what to say. after all these years of fighting with beomgyu over the pettiest things, all the tension has led up to this point. you aren’t sure how to feel… but you think you kind of like it.

and maybe you kind of like choi “annoying loser” beomgyu as well.

you feel beomgyu slide out from in between your legs, moving over to the other side of the bed in silence. you feel a little disappointed at the disappearance of his touch.

“i’m gonna go get a towel, okay?” beomgyu speaks softly as he moves to stand, pulling his pants back up. his face is flushed and the tips of his ears are bright red, a shy smile on his face. 

“okay,” you respond quietly with a small smile of your own, acknowledging the way your stomach flips at the sight of him. what the hell are you going to do now?

it doesn’t take long for beomgyu to return with a wet rag, climbing over the sheets to clean you up. his brows are furrowed as he focuses on his task, and you cover your face in embarrassment at the closeness of it all—with his body in between your legs, gently wiping up the mess he made. you pull your hands away as his movements stop, helping you get dressed again. 

his gaze on you is heavy and you try not to meet his eyes, face hot and flustered as the entire situation fully dawns on you. he’s having none of it though, hovering over your body to turn your head so your gaze locks onto his eyes, his blown-out pupils a little too sparkly, making your heart flutter a little too much.

“are you okay?” he asks quietly—gently as if his voice was only made for you to hear. you nod in response. you want to shrink under his inquisitive stare, but there’s nowhere to run as you’re fully caged in by his body. 

you see the way his eyes flutter down to your lips for a quick second before they’re glued onto your eyes again. “please don’t tell me you regret that because i don’t. not at all.”

he sounds desperate, pitiful almost, and you reach up to brush the strands of hair out of his face with a small smile. because you don’t regret it either.

“remember that no talking to me rule?” you start, seeing the way beomgyu’s lips pout in disappointment, unsure of where you’re going with this. “how about you kiss me instead?”

beomgyu doesn’t give you a second to breathe before his lips crash onto yours roughly, as if he’s been waiting for this moment for years.

and oh fuck... maybe he has.

you sigh into the kiss, reaching to the back of his neck to bring him closer to you, his body lowering onto yours. his lips are incredibly soft, his weight comforting on top of your body. his hand comes to hold your cheek gently, thumb swiping over your skin. it’s everything and more—it’s something you didn’t even know you had been waiting for.

when he pulls away from you, it’s slow and gentle. beomgyu leans down to press a few more quick kisses onto your lips, a tiny smile settling onto his face as he rolls over to the other side of the bed, pulling you into his arms. you melt into his embrace, resting your head against his chest as you wrap your arms around his torso.

“i swear to god though, gyu. your feet better not touch me,” you mumble into his chest, feeling his body rumble with laughter.

“rules are made to be broken, baby,” beomgyu speaks before his still-very-annoying foot touches yours under the sheets. you squeal in shock at his cold skin, but laughter quickly overtakes any annoyance that was bound to wind up in you.

you’ll let it slide. just this once.

reblogs are highly cherished!

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[acedocx]

do something about it

•

c.b.g (oneshot)

word count: 2.35k

tags: choi beomgyu x reader, college au, enemies to people that make out in a classroom, academic rivals to lovers, can you tell i'm stressed about college, pretty suggestive but there's no actual full smut (its story required in fics like this tension is the point im not weird guys), brat!beomgyu, dom!reader, makeout sequence, dry humping/grinding/idk what to call this ive never done this before

warnings: smut kinda, swearing, degradation, reader goes off on gyu (i love gyu guys i feel like i make him annoying in my stuff but i love him so much i promise), kind of public place stuff (classroom and building are empty), shitty formatting bc the author still doesn't know how tumblr formatting works

📖 author's note: hi guys! been a while, college is crazy! obviously, i'm handling the stress well (lie) (haven't slept) (publishing this at five in the morning) which is very evident in this fic lol. i'm pretty nervous to post this, as it's much more risqué and suggestive than my last one—it does kind of border on smut. i've been on smth recently i don't know what's wrong with me. but it's almost certainly totally unrealistic, so sorry in advance lol. this was originally supposed to be a full fic, and i do have some ideas for it, so if yall want more (or a part two or smth) let me know! perhaps ill make it a full fic lol. enjoy!

it was on that crisp february afternoon, in the confines of the worn concrete walls of your anthropology class, that you genuinely (and ironically) began to reconsider your moral stance on murder.

you stifled a sigh of annoyance as you heard the screech of the chair in the row behind you as it ground against the linoleum floor. always first. he was always first. you really thought you had him this time, only two questions away from the final eightieth question.

you glanced up from your exam and immediately wished you hadn't. you felt rage begin to simmer in your stomach as you made eye contact with choi beomgyu, who smirked at you as he all but sauntered back to his desk to grab his things.

"prick," you hissed to yourself, hoping the sound of the closing door disguised your outburst.

choi beomgyu. you didn't believe in nemeses—you hadn't, until now, even really believed in academic rivals—but there was something about choi beomgyu that made you so angry it was difficult to breathe.

he was insufferably annoying—cracking jokes, sleeping in class, talking and laughing loudly as the professor explained concepts that would surely be on the test. but more than anything, it was that it didn't matter.

beomgyu had top marks, had never failed an exam, almost always the highest score in the class; you hated him for it. you were always the second highest, always just below him, if only by a half-point. it drove you insane, because you slaved over the assignments and spent hours studying—not a day went by where you didn't. you had basically no life outside of school.

and along comes choi beomgyu, who could come into class hungover and get a perfect score on an exam. just the thought of it made you sick.

despite just having an exam, you found yourself in the library again that afternoon slaving over study materials. you had been staring at your screen for what felt like hours, back and shoulders aching from your poor posture. your head swam with information—definitions, dates, people, everything blended together into one hazy blur. you let out a sigh of exasperation, letting your head rest on the table, eyes closed. i bet beomgyu isn't even studying, you thought with a flare of annoyance. he probably won't. he's probably out partying, having fun, enjoying college—

"d'you expect to find the information in the wood grain, or what?"

your head shot up at the teasing voice from in front of you. had you summoned him? was this a divine joke—god's cruel punishment upon you when you needed it the least? you sighed, turning your eyes back to your computer.

"just resting my eyes. i've been at this for a while," you answered curtly. something you probably wouldn't understand, you added to yourself.

"the anthropology stuff? really?" he scoffed. you clenched your teeth. don't let him get under your skin. "we just had an exam. which, how'd you do on that, by the way? i think i did pretty well—98%, could've done better."

"fine," you snapped, probably too quickly to be believable. you honestly hadn't looked at your grade yet, but you knew it wasn't that. you prayed you could change the subject quick enough before beomgyu bragged about his any more. "what are you doing in here anyway? since obviously, you don't need to study," you said, fighting to keep the venom from your voice.

"ouch," beomgyu laughed, pushing his long brown hair out of his face and moving closer, leaning against the table. "so what, i'm not allowed in here if i'm not boring myself to death?"

"what do you want?"

"nothing! just coming to talk to my classmate," he said innocently. he began to turn to walk away before turning back to look at you. something in his gaze lit a spark of anger in your chest that you fought to swallow. "sorry you have to work yourself to death to keep up."

you didn't know if it was the exhaustion or the two months of pent-up frustration that caused you to snap, but that did it. you pushed yourself up from the desk so forcefully, the chair nearly fell behind you. beomgyu turned back to you with a start. that familiar tightness in your chest took hold, and forgetting about your computer and bag, you grabbed beomgyu by the wrist and began to drag him out the door and down the hall.

it was long past the last class of the day leaving, and golden hour beams filtered lazily in through the windows—a stark contrast to the tempest that you could feel raging through your veins. you dragged a protesting beomgyu into the first empty classroom you saw, slamming the door behind you and whirling to face him.

"okay, we're doing this now, what the fuck is your problem?!" you all but spit at him, trying with everything in you to not raise your voice—it made sense to you now; he wanted a rise out of you, and you couldn't bear to give him the satisfaction of knowing it was working.

"what are you talking about?" beomgyu said with feigned innocence, smirk still tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"do not play stupid with me. you've proven too many times that you think you're smarter than me to play stupid." your hands shook at your sides with the monumental effort of not grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, and you squeezed your eyes shut to block out the smug expression that was undoubtedly still plastered on his face.

"have you ever considered that maybe i am smarter than you? did that cross your mind? wow, your ego must be fuckin' crazy if you really believe no one at this university could possibly be smarter than you," beomgyu scoffed. your mouth hung open in shock. ego? he was talking to you about ego?

"do you know how hard i had to work to get here? do you know how many hours, how many nights i slave over materials to have as high of a grade as i do? do you know how exhausted i am? do you?! no! you don't! because you don't have to work!" you could feel your throat growing tight as you fought the urge to tear up from anger. you sucked in a deep, shaky breath, lowering your voice to a near-whisper, the vitriol in it acidic enough to burn.

"do you know that i can't stand you? every time i see you, i feel my, my blood boil. everything goes to static—you make me so angry that my head spins, you infuriate me to the point of—of," you squeezed your eyes shut once more. "of total incoherence. you make me incompetent, and i hate you."

the words hung in the air, electrifying the atmosphere in the room. the tension was thick enough to taste—you could feel it pulled tight like a cord between the two of you, waiting to snap. you slowly opened your eyes again, defiantly meeting beomgyu's gaze.

the smirk was gone, replaced by surprise and—you noted with a surge of pride—slight outrage. but behind his eyes, there was something else. a challenge—like he was waiting for you to yell at him again. it was him who broke the silence finally.

"yeah? i make you that mad?" he leaned in closer, the spark of defiance behind his eyes brighter now—different in some way. "do something about it."

you were warm, hot, unbelievably hot, as you felt the blood rush to your face, pounding in your ears, drowning out all logic or reasoning. everything outside had disappeared—your vision tunneled on beomgyu. it felt like flames—tearing through your body, screaming to get out in some way. you wanted to hit him. you could—you could hit him, punch him, kick him, slap him, something—anything.

your lips slammed against his with enough force to fully knock him back into the desk behind him, nearly knocking the both of you over in the process. something in the both of you snapped, and all the fight and indignation in beomgyu seemed to have fled him.

one of your hands found his wrists, pinning them behind him to the wooden tabletop below. the other found his long brown hair, snaking up into it, grip tightening as you pulled. you smirked into the kiss at the whine beomgyu let out, his legs seeming to go weak beneath him.

you wanted to devour him—you bit and sucked at his lips, surely leaving them swollen and bruised, tongue exploring every inch it could of his mouth—the mouth that had caused you so much chagrin for the last two months, finally silenced at your discretion. this was justice, vindication, you thought to yourself. putting him in his place.

it was only when you became truly dizzy from a lack of oxygen you pulled away—more accurately, pulled beomgyu away, yanking his head back by his hair, to which he let out another pathetic noise. as you both gasped for air, your gaze settled upon him again, and you noted with disdain how beautiful he was like this.

his eyes were half-lidded, teary, the pupils blown out with lust. his cheeks and the tips of his ears flushed a bright pink, a sheen coating his whole face. as you suspected, his lips were swollen, red, and trembling. this close, you could clearly see that the spark in his eyes that you had seen as challenge before was something else entirely—it was desperation.

everything began to click into place. he wanted your attention. that is why he acted out that way in the library. your mouth twisted into a smirk reminiscent of the expression beomgyu wore minutes ago. pride surged through you where there should have been annoyance—he enjoyed this. he wanted this, wanted you to put him in his place.

beomgyu seemed to come back to himself for a moment, the infuriating arrogance that you had come to associate with him adorning his features once more. he gave you a smug look again, shakier this time—he knew he had been caught.

"l-look at you, kissing me like you're—you're trying to eat me or s-something—thought you said you...couldn't stand me."

you scoffed at him. "i can't," you hissed. "so sit. get on the desk."

beomgyu pushed himself back and up until he was sitting on the desk, legs to either side of you. you pressed your lips to his neck in slow, lazy kisses that trailed up to his jaw. beomgyu tilted his head back, eyebrows knitted, bruised lips parted in a shaky sigh, trying and failing to stay quiet as your teeth found purchase below his jawline.

once you were satisfied with the bruise, you leaned in close, lips brushing the shell of his ear.

"do you get off on this?"

the shiver that went through his body was confirmation enough, and it nearly made you laugh. you were giddy, power-drunk—you would later blame the power trip and the blinding rage for just how much you enjoyed seeing beomgyu unravel so beautifully beneath you. it was almost enough to convince you that you weren't enraptured by him, almost ethereal in the golden light that bathed the empty classroom.

"that's humiliating. are you excited by this? by me yelling at you, degrading you," you made another mark near his collarbone, "being rough with you?"

"yes, god—i'm, i—please, please—" beomgyu was incoherent, speaking in fragments, newly freed hands grasping at your shirt, your arms, anything to pull you back into him.

you pouted at him in mocking pity, pulling his hands from your shirt, pinning them back firmly on the desk.

"poor thing, can't even speak. thought you were smarter than me," you said in a sickly sweet voice. "please, what?"

"please, please, anything—kiss me, touch me, something—" you could see tears in his eyes that threatened to fall, and you looked down at the mess you had made of his outfit. the collar of his white tee had been stretched to reveal his collarbones, necklaces askew in every direction. the hem of his shirt had ridden way up where your hand had found its way under it, revealing some of his stomach as it rose and fell with his short, shallow breaths—and the obvious tent in his black jeans.

it was impossible trying to lie to yourself—you wanted this just as much as he did. but you couldn't lose now, not when you've finally bested him for once. you swallowed, hoping he didn't see the way you faltered as you stared. a smirk found your features again, and you traced the waistband of his jeans with the tips of your fingers, pressing more lazy kisses into his jaw.

you pressed your body flush against his chest, your thigh coming to rest between his legs. beomgyu shivered again, chasing the friction as he began to grind against your leg. it was unholy, the sounds he made—even worse the almost undeniable urge to let him, to fuck him there in that classroom.

you tugged him back from you by his hair once more, pulling yourself away from him entirely as he whined in protest, standing back to observe your handiwork a second time.

beomgyu looked an absolute mess. hair wild, eyes puffy, face flushed almost burgundy and streaked with tears—fucked out, and you had barely even touched him. entirely pathetic, entirely at your mercy. you couldn't have been more satisfied.

"we're in a classroom, y'know," you taunted. "you didn't really expect to do it here, right? freak," you added venomously. beomgyu couldn't even respond, only shaking his head dazedly.

you turned towards the door, smoothing your shirt and hair nonchalantly.

"you...y-you're such a...you are evil, you can't..." you heard beomgyu stammer out from behind you. you turned towards him with a perfect mimickry of his smug smirk from earlier.

"do something about it."

[bethebesttoyou]

Times are Hard for Dreamers - Choi Beomgyu

synopsis: Friends Beomgyu and Y/N try to have a good day at the fair.

pairing: College student! Beomgyu x College student! reader

song: Times are Hard for Dreamers - Amelie

warning/tags: cursing, fluff!!, me trying to be funny and failing, friends to lovers, I wanted to make it jess and nick coded but Beomgyu is just too sweet... reader is an overly optimistic person!!!!

Wc: 3.6k (I swear im not doing this on purpose D:)

A/N: Beomgyu fic... we win. I actually really wanted to write a Beomgyu fic for awhile but I didn't really have an idea, UNTIL NOW!!! I have like half of vampire in the corner worked on, but I started school, so idk IDK I'll have to see where I can go with that story. I also get so many ideas for longer fics, but I can't lock in :( In the meantime, I want to continue writing one shots!! :3

Beomgyu leans his head against the headrest, stretching out his arms and grunting before checking his watch again. He closes his eyes in frustration before looking back at your front door, his sunglasses dimming his overall view. When you told him 12 pm, he should've known better, should’ve read in between the lines, the way you excitedly ranted about the day you had in store for the both of you. He should've known when he surprisingly got you tickets to the very popular fall fair, that you would overwhelm yourself with planning. Now, 30 minutes later, he watches your front door intently, praying it opens. And it works, out you come prettily dressed in a tan long sleeve and plaid long skirt, both accentuated the curvature of your body so nicely, he wishes you could go back in so he can compose himself. But as you smiled widely at his presence, sending him a wave before adjusting your bag over your shoulder, he settled for a nervous cough and looked away, only looking back at you when you were finally sitting in the passenger seat. He scowls at you playfully. 

“Oh. Beomgyu we have to leave by 12 or we're gonna miss the opening…Oh Beom, please sleep early and get here on time, Oh Beom-” He mocked, only letting out a laugh when you punch his shoulder. 

“It's still 12…we’ll make it if you just drive, like now!” You roll your eyes playfully and start messing with his radio and he just scoffs, putting the car on drive. 

Beomgyu honestly couldn't care less about this fall fair, if it were up to him, he would've been home, relaxing after the terror from being buried in papers and exams and research during midterms, but he didnt think twice of buying them. When he saw the posters all over campus he knew you would want to go, he already pictured the way your eyes would brighten from the mere mention of the mazes, the games, the snacks, he knew you would just obsess over the last activity of the day, fireworks. And when he mentioned it to you, he was right. 

“I-I would love to!” You exclaim turning to your friends behind you, some of them snickering knowingly. 

“Hey gyu, where are our tickets?” Yeonjun bumps Kai’s shoulder before feigning ignorance. 

“Shut up.”

So maybe his crush on you wasn’t exactly hidden, he was a man after all, and it was only natural that someone as optimistic and bright as you would catch the attention of a pessimist that lacks that brightness in his life. He loved to act like he didn't care much about anything, but he cared a lot about you. He couldn't fight the urge of showing it, catering to your likings with fake annoyance, but in reality he lived for your excitement, it only fueling him to continue, he was surprised you've been the only one to not catch on, or maybe internally grateful you hadn't, he didn't think he was ready for that yet. 

But he thought of it, especially now as he heard your raving about the itinerary for the day, having done your research on the different activities and food stands being offered at the event, and he was glad to be the first one to ask you, he couldn't imagine you doing this with anyone else, he would rather die. 

“Jesus, does it tell you how I'm gonna die on that paper?” He teases anyways, and you grunt. 

“I want to take full advantage of today, we deserve a day of stress free fun!” 

“I guess I can agree.” 

“Trust me Gyu, we're gonna have so much fun, you're gonna want to come back.” You promised. “This paper is gonna be our lifeline today, just as long as we stick to it, we should be able to do everything! Here’s your copy.” 

He laughs at your ridiculous planning but believes in you anyways. He just wanted to spend time with you, grateful to have you all to himself, so he was more than willing to follow a piece of paper if it meant it was guaranteed. 

The car ride was meant to be a long one, the directions sending you out of the city you both occupied, to the closest open field your campus can find to set up. Yet, the drive didn't feel as long as Beomgyu expected, your voice causing him to lose track of time, paying attention to your silly stories and gossip he hated to admit was pretty interesting. 

“So, they were not dating? Just fucking?” 

“Ningning said that she said they weren't…and now they're just not talking anymore…” 

“That's annoying…” 

“That's what I'm saying!They definitely like each other, they’re just dumb.He’s gotta step up.” You roll your eyes and he can't help but feel the pink heat rise to his face. 

He finally parks, turning off the ignition and turns to you, once again taking in the sight. You were everything, he thought, there's not a single sweet word that doesn't describe you. Watching you as you straighten the paper, he watches your delicate fingers scan the page, before speaking. 

“Okay! Well, we missed the opening ceremony but it's fine, I didn't care much for it anyways…First on the list is for you. Let’s start with…coffee! yay!” You say hoping out of the car, him laughing at your excitement. Giving the worker the tickets, you immediately head towards the coffee stand to the right, ignoring that Beomgyu was in awe of the set up. It was the middle of the day, but the entire fair was lit up like those old carnivals you would see in the movies. Laughter and screams could be heard from every corner, the smell of popcorn and sweets mixing together and clogging his nostrils, he could see why you were excited, this place was like a manifestation of your personality: fun, nostalgic and comforting. 

“Beomgyu! I got your drink!” you yell from afar, and he turns around, walking, stepping towards you before, watching in horror as someone cuts him off, bumping into you and spilling both coffees on your chest. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Beomgyu says turning to the offender, as they apologize profusely. 

“Are you okay?” 

“-you okay?” they both asked frantically, Beomgyu already taking your hand, starting to lead you to the closest stand with napkins. He completely misses the way your face turns pink, before you laugh awkwardly, distracted from his own flustered feeling, he feels like a Victorian man by just the touch of your soft hand, the hotness spreading from your connected hands to all over his body.

“Good thing, it wasn't hot coffee right?” You squeeze his hand before taking a napkin. 

You turn to the apologizing stranger, “it's fine! You're fine! It was an accident!” you say, before turning back again and smiling at Beomgyu, “it was an accident.” Now softer, trying to ease the scowl on his face. 

After politely rejecting the strangers' pleas to help, he finally leads you to another nearby stand, hoping to find a shirt to replace the sticky top you were now stuck with. After looking at the selections, the only one in your size was a muddy green shirt that had a random koala bear with sunglasses on with the words, “Koalified to party” Beomgyu looks at you with sorry eyes, as you gulp at the shirt. 

“So much for cute pictures today…” You say from behind the fitting room curtain.”But it's okay! This is gonna be a fun story to tell the group!,” You laugh lightly, walking out of the makeshift fitting room only to Beomgyu trying to stifle a laugh. You flick his forehead before continuing, 

“No! It looks good! You look good!” He laughs. 

“Well, forget coffee! Back to the paper! Next stop…um…the swings!” 

The high swings were towards the back, and Beomgyu noticed every time you looked down at your watch, you’d start walking faster, the furrow of your eyebrows becoming more evident as the walk continued. Once you got to the front, your smile came back and shined brightly towards the worker before dropping completely when he pointed out the line that stood behind you. 

“A-and um… how long is the wait?” 

“All ride lines right now are going to be about two hours or so.” the worker says, apologetically looking at you both. 

Beomgyu is starting to realize what type of day this was going to be, and he wanted to suggest going home, or finding something else to do, trying to avoid even more disappointment. If he had known it was going to be this packed or this difficult to enjoy the day, he wouldn't have suggested it at all and you would have had to plan an entire day just for it to completely fall apart in front of you. But when you turn to him with determination in your eyes, he remembers you are never one to back down.  

“Okay, new plan! We no longer wait for the rides, let's just play some games! Maybe head to the maze after! That should still give us time to make it back for the fireworks!” you say, your smile was not as big as it was 3 hours ago, but it was still there. Beomgyu wanted to check on you just in case. 

“You okay? We can always just-” 

“No time for that! We have the paper!” You say already walking away. 

—

It had been two hours into playing games, and after you exclaimed how obsessed you were with the giant  light brown teddy bear that hung from the corner of the stand, the bow that laid just below its ear making you squeal, you both took turns playing trying to knock down the obvious glued golden cups. You and Beomgyu both lost about 100 dollars combined. The carny had been a bored looking teenager, would laugh every time he saw you guys walk back to the end of the line, but you both were too frustrated to even care. Beomgyu honestly didnt want the stupid fucking bear, it wasnt worth it, but in his mind, you needed this win (and he wanted this win for you, so bad)and so each time it was his turn, he would throw the ball more aggressively, trying to fight the look of disappointment on your face when the cup would resist the blow. He didn't want to feel bad, but he did, immensely, as he watched you throw the ball and grunt loudly. You start rubbing your temple out of sheer frustration before sighing. 

“One more go…Just one more go, okay?” You say to him, and he watches you line up one last time, the look of determination etched on your face. Only for the small child in front of you to knock the golden cup, the ringing congratulatory bell going off as you watch with a straight face. The cheers were so loud and in Beomgyu’s opinion, obnoxious, that he wanted nothing more than to just comfort you, take you away from the scene and offer you some solace, but the fear of rejection kept him from doing so. 

“Well, it's maze time.” You say as you watch the child and their parents walk off with the giant bear, your eyes reflecting shame, embarrassment and sadness. Beomgyu decided that his heart could bear the negative emotion in your eyes, it wasn't you,he thought.

“Hey what if we just get out of here? Get something to eat, yeah?” 

“N-no we cant! The paper! The maze! fireworks! We can't miss the fireworks! You bought me these tickets, we can let them go to waste!” you panic, but your eyes look defeated. Beomgyu doesn't want to burst your bubble, he really wishes things could have been different, but he can't stand the thought of watching you get disappointed again. With the way things are going, he knew the fireworks were gonna follow the same fate. He knew you to be optimistic, never letting things get you down, but he wasn't so sure as to why you were so determined for this day to go perfectly. You had never been so obsessed with the details before.  

“y/n… it's okay, really! … l-lets just go…” your eyebrows, that were slightly slanted and eyes that were soft, immediately switched to anger, with now furrowed eyebrows and flames in your eyes. 

“Y-you can go then. But I'm going to the maze. Don't follow me. ” You say stomping away, leaving Beomgyu shocked and guilty. He wasn't sure what was going on, what had made you so determined to finish the day, even if it meant you were no longer standing by the end of it. 

He felt horrible. All he wanted was to see your smile again, to see you enjoying the fair like he had hoped you would, yet this mysterious pressure was nearly forcing you into a breakdown. He wanted to fix this, needed to. He was determined now, no longer caring if he looked too doting, even if it made his feelings visible to you, he was going to make it up to you. Starting with that fucking bear. 

He stalks up to the stand, where the same bored looking teenager now stood with an amused look on his face, watching Beomgyu stand mere feet away from him. 

“How much for the bear.” They had replaced it with a new one already. 

“Not for sale, man, you gotta win.” 

Beomgyu stares at him, hoping to read him well. 

“Ill give you 50 bucks for it.” 

“Ha! Make it a hundred and you got a deal.” 

“60.” 

“120, and I'll throw in a ferris wheel ride with my buddy over there.” Beomgyu blushed at the thought. That sparked an idea. 

“During the fireworks?” the boy thought about it for a second. 

“I guess I can make that happen…might cost a bit extra though…” 

“Fuck, whatever. Deal.” 

–

Beomgyu thought about waiting for you outside of the maze entrance, but it had been 30 minutes and you were still not out. He had seen those that enter after you already come out and he began to feel nervous. Worried thoughts of missing the fireworks became worried thoughts of something happening to you in the maze. His worries got worse when your phone was sending him to voicemail. 

So with tired arms and heavy grunts, he walks into the maze, keeping track of his turns, which he learned he didn't have to, you weren't that far from the opening, yet, you were scrunched down, head buried in your hands, crying. 

“Y/N?” He says muffled the giant bear barely fitting through the small isles of corn. 

“Oh thank god!- Wait what the hell?” You said, tear stained cheeks, and now wide confused eyes staring at the bear that covered most of his body.

‘Why are you crying?” He asks, and it almost looks like the bear is talking. 

“I got lost…” You were lost in the presence of the bear, “D-Did you win this?” 

“Um…”

He had questions too, but as he looked up and realized that it was finally dark, he pulled your hand and began to run out of the maze, 

“Questions later! We're gonna be late!” 

“For?” 

“You’ll see!” 

—-

Once you got to the ferris wheel, you watched as Beomgyu walked past the long line into the stand. Beomgyu notices you are about to interrupt, glossy eyes and all, but turns when he hears his name. 

“You Beomgyu?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is the bear your date? If not, it's gonna have to stay down here, it's not gonna fit.” the carny chuckles, Beomgyu glares back. 

“Whatever gets me up there man.” 

“Hey… A-Are we getting on?” 

Beomgyu notices your face that was just laced with pure confusion. He smiles softly before leaving the bear behind, leading you to your cart, sitting next to you and securing your seatbelt. It's only then does he understand the gravity of the situation and he's thinking he might have flown a little too close to the sun. This was, very clearly, a romantic gesture, and Beomgyu had no plan, whatsoever. This was it, he planned getting you up here, watching the fireworks, but then what? What can you do on a ferris wheel in a platonic way? Talking! You could talk! Talk while you wait for the fireworks! 

He tries to think of things to say, but how can he?  when you are so close and he can smell your fruity perfume, mixed with a hint of coffee. Your lips ,that had always attracted his eyes to stare at them while you spoke, now don't have to say anything for him to notice them there, parted and soft before stretching into a shy smile. 

“...How did you do all this?” he shakes his head.

“That doesn't matter, I'm sorry the day has been such a mess and I haven't been much help either…” You scoff. 

“That's definitely not your fault, I'm sorry…the one that wanted to make this all perfect.” 

“Yeah, why is that?” Beomgyu feels self conscious as you stare at him for a minute, before laughing awkwardly. 

“Can I give you something? You promise not to laugh?” He feels the pressure from your words, fear of what may come next. Oh god, he thought, someone told you about his feelings… He nods anyway, accepting fate. You were now at the highest point on the ferris wheel, and Beomgyu begged for the show to start, scared of hearing what you were going to say. 

You reach into your bag, before pulling a thinly worn folded notebook paper before handing it to him. Written on top was his name and a small heart next to it. He shivered at the sight. 

“I-its a note… I wrote it the day of graduation” You laugh, “it's silly and it was never going to see the light of day, but I don't know…I felt ready. Well sorta…” You are looking away now, trying hard not to make it more awkward than you are starting to feel. The fireworks start, popping and lighting up the sky, but Beomgyu can't focus as he's now shakingly opening the note. 

A confession note. 

Beomgyu gasps, reading the contents, before looking at you. You’re looking up in admiration of the colors before you, the shapes that manifest in the night sky, a nervous smile sets on your lips, fingers nervously holding on to the rail of your cart. He knows you feel his gaze on you but refuses to turn to him. 

“Y/N…” 

“It's okay, Beomgyu! Really! I just…I needed to do something about this letter… I was holding on to it for way too long.” You're not really talking about the letter, Beomgyu believes. When he can't find the words yet, you continue. 

“I just.. I hope this doesn't change us, I hope we can still be friends… Please…” Pleading eyes are what finally meet Beomgyu’s shocked ones and he finds you so beautiful in this moment, he can’t bring himself to say everything that he's ever wanted to. That he has waited for some kind of sign for two years, that you had occupied a space in his heart since the first day he's met you, that he did all this just for you, and would never ask for anything in return, that your smile and presence was more than enough. But instead, hoping to convey the mutual feeling or perhaps stronger ones,  Beomgyu grabs your face by each side and brings you closer, and you let out a squeal, the fireworks only getting more aggressive and intense. And it matches the way Beomgyu’s heart is feeling, accelerated, like it's about to explode as he lays his lips on yours, feeling the petal likeness of your lips.

And the butterflies swarm all over his body when you finally kiss back, fluttering your eyes closed, and pressing further in, shivering from your own nerves slowly dissipating. He hopes you can feel everything he’s thinking, everything he wants you to know, but in case you didn't, he pulls back and looks at you, now possessed with the same determination you had all day: 

“I dont want to stay friends. I want to be with you. I want this, all the time. I like you, Y/N. Please, tell me this letter still means something."He pulls a stray hair behind your ear, watching the pinkness in your cheeks get darker. 

“O-Of course it does. It always will.” You whisper with shining eyes. Your hands that had been glued on the railing, now moving to his waist and wrapping them around and hugging him tight. He sighs and smiles widely, hands now holding you close, it was only then had he noticed that the cart was making its way back down. At the entrance, was the giant bear, sitting patiently as you both got off the wheel, trying to pretend neither of your hearts were still pounding from excitement and giddyness. The carny holds a fist bump with a smirk that beomgyu shyly returns before grabbing the bear. 

“W-we missed most of the show, sorry…” He says after a moment of walking in silence. Remembering the taste of you, already growing addicted.  

“No! Don't be… it was perfect, actually the whole day was.” You say, your eyes still beaming with what he can only hope for satisfaction and fondness.

He laughs at that. Before putting an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer. Walking towards the car, you rambled about the maze, how the kid had to have had some steroid in him, he realized just how much the atmosphere has changed. The presence of something filled the air: the makings of new love. 

"You gotta let me borrow that shirt..."

"Shut. Up."

A/N: YAY!! you made it!!! thanks you for reading!! Like always, let me know what you think! :3

[bgomtori]

☆ casual - cbg

synopsis -> was everything casual? or something more?

-> beomgyu x afab!reader

-> friends to lovers?.. "more than friends less than lovers." angst, fluff, suggestive

-> warnings! situationship typa problems :( , self-harm, implications of self isolation, beomgyu can be an ass if you think about it.

-> note! this has been on my mind for a while now, sooo as a way to comeback to tumblr, i'm writing this :D BUT IM BACCKKKK!! i actually have 1 paper left but it's fairly easy to score soo i have a LOTT of time to write now!! also i'm really rusty right now SO IM SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES 😞🙏🙏

was it casual now?

beomgyu was confusing, so confusing. one second he’s all over you and affectionate, the next he’s just friendly and nice. you’ve always tried to let it slide but it has been eating you whole from the inside, no ‘platonic’ friend would do this, what the hell does he want from you. a relationship? a regular friendship? you can’t even answer it, not even your mutual friends can answer that question. you’ve constantly been caught in the pretense of a friendship or something deeper, you definitely wanted the latter.

beomgyu has always been close to you, you met him in middle school, at the playground, where he invited you to play a lame game of ‘freeze tag’ with a bunch of his friends. fortunately, or unforturnately, the friendship stayed throughout the years of ups and downs, but now you are stuck with the constant thought of, ‘is this something friends normally do with each other?’. how can it be casual when you know how soft his lips were against your skin, how he tasted like, how his body felt like against yours? these questions were left unanswered.

was it casual when you kissed all my scars and told me that there was more of me to love?

highschool was a rough time for you, having to balance studies, co-curriculars and your social life was not easy. you often found yourself mentally drained, and always out of it. beomgyu noticed all of these signs, yet you wouldn’t tell him anything, which eventually upset him. what was so secretive to the point you had to hide it from him. your best friend.

beomgyu needed to know, he didn’t want you to suffer alone, he wanted to be your light, your pillar of support. he went over to your house one day, just to chill. as soon as you opened the door, he noticed how detached you seemed, he could see it in your eyes even if you looked perfectly normal. he shut the door behind him, following you up to your room after greeting your parents. when he entered your room, he was shocked to see how messy it looked, which was unlike you at all.

“sorry for the mess, i didn’t have time to clean up at all..” you mumbled a quiet apology, sitting on your bed, looking up at him as he stood there.

“no, it’s alright.” beomgyu shook his head, making his way to your bed, sitting beside you. his eyes scanned your figure, before falling onto your arms. there were scars, scratches? no. he knew it wasn’t that, no cat would scratch a person that many times at the same spot. beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed, how did he not notice? was he blind?

“yn. let me see your arm.” beomgyu asked, his voice sounded firm and worried. you started to panic, you forgot to cover them up before he came.

“it’s nothing beomgyu..” you denied it, unable to make eye contact with him, the floor of your room suddenly being the most interesting thing you’ve ever chanced upon.

“i’m not dumb yn.” you’ve never heard him this serious before, you reluctantly extended your arm to his direction, letting him inspect it. beomgyu winced at the sight, some were fresh, some were old and recovering. he shifted closer to you, his hands intertwining with yours.

“please.. tell me everything, all your worries and concerns, i don’t want you to suffer in silence anymore yn, you’re very dear to me.” beomgyu’s thumb brushed against your knuckles as if reassuring you that everything is going to be alright. your breath hitched, words stuck in your throat as yout lips quivered slightly. beomgyu noticed this, pulling you close and hugging you. his tight embrace triggered something in your head since you started to bawl your eyes out, letting out everything at once.

beomgyu listened intently, his chin rested on top of your head as he rubbed your back consolingly. he didn't care if you stained his shirt with your tears and snot, he just wanted you to be okay, to find solace in his presence.

after a while, you finally calmed down, your breathing becoming more steady. beomgyu lifted you up from his chest slightly, looking at your red, puffy eyes and pouty lips. his thumb carressed your cheek, wiping away the stray tear that fell from your eye. beomgyu's hand fell from your cheek to your arm, rubbing it.

"you're so strong, i'm proud of you for coping this much.." his words were genuine, so.. comforting. he took your arms, leaving chaste kisses on your scars. at this point, you felt as though the words 'let me kiss your pains away' had come to life. your heart began to race at the sheer feeling of his lips against yours.

"there's more of you to love, so please don't look down on yourself like that again. if you ever feel like your world is crashing, come to me, i'll always be here for you yn." beomgyu mumbled in between his kisses on your arm, his words providing you with perfect reassurance.

the words, "yeah.. i will." was all that you could utter out. beomgyu smiled against your skin, pulling away as he brought you closer to him again, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

"that's my girl."

was it casual when we went stargazing and you told me that my eyes reminded you of the galaxy?

beomgyu knew you loved space, you've always had a fixation on them, whether it's about meteor showers or the stars beyond, you'd always talk about them. thus, on one random day, he brought you out to a secluded field, away from the chaos in the city.

"why are we here?" you asked beomgyu, following him closely through the grassy field. beomgyu smiled at you.

"stargazing, you told me you've always wanted to do it, so i decided to do my research." beomgyu said, his eyes looking up at the sky, "saw that this place was perfect for stargazing, plus it's close to our neighbourhood, so why not."

you felt your heart skip a beat, he actually listened to your constant whining about wanting to go stargazing but not having anyone to go with. you allowed beomgyu to drag you to the perfect spot, in the middle of the field, to just sit and stare at the stars. the two of you talked as per usual, ranging from harmless bickering to deep talks. your heart swelled in contentment, continuing to watch the stars shine back at you.

little did you know, while you were rambling, beomgyu would take his gaze away from the night sky and look at you, admiring the way your eyes would light up everytime you talked about something you liked.

"y'know, your eyes remind me of the galaxy." beomgyu suddenly muttered out, your eyes widened, along with his. he could feel his ears growing warmer with each passing second.

"huh?" you looked at him, still in disbelief.

"i meant what i said.." beomgyu sheepishly admitted glancing back at you, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. he smiled to himself, before looking back at the pretty night sky.

"yeah i definitely meant that.."

was it casual when you kissed every inch of my body, comparing me to the stardust i was made of?

"do you trust me?" beomgyu whispered, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. you gave him a quick nod, giving him some sort of approval.

he looks at you with affection and tenderness, each glance warming you to your core. his hand reaches out, fingertips grazing along your jawline. his gaze dips down to your lips, closing off the distance between the two of you. as his lips finally met yours, the kiss was slow, gentle, filled with unspoken emotions, his hands cupping your face carefully as if you were glass. beomgyu was savouring every moment of this, the world around him disappearing.

he pulled away, just to look at your flustered face and to catch his breath. you looked ethereal in his eyes, from the way your lips were swollen from the kiss to how red the apple of your cheeks were. without saying anything, he pulled you in for more. his tongue pushing past your parting lips, exploring your mouth. he pushed you slightly, making you lean on the headrest of your bed.

beomgyu continued on, leaving opened-mouth kisses along your jawline, moving down to your neck and collarbone.

"you're perfect.. so pretty." he mumbled against your skin, his hands intertwining with yours. he lifted his head to look at you, smiling at you fondly, he added on, "you're like stardust, so quiet yet filled with depth and light.."

"since when were you so poetic." you joked, looking straight into his eyes, it was corny, but it made your heart race. beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head.

"not sure, it just comes to mind when i'm with you." he shrugged, his lips meeting your forehead, placing a gentle kiss. your eyes roamed his face, scanning it for no particular reason, you words coming out without even thinking.

"what are we?" your voice was soft, barely a whisper. beomgyu looked at you, raising an eyebrow, "friends. are we not?" your throat went dry at his non-chalant response, fuck you hated it. you were disappointed, at him and at yourself, how could he do all this without any attachment? and why did you wish for so much?

"right.." you mumbled under your breath, letting him kiss you again.

is it casual now?

now that you're older, you noticed how beomgyu runs around, talking to other girls, not bothering about your feelings and the relationship between the both of you. you were pissed, he still had the decency to kiss you behind closed doors, but act differently around you infront of others.

he was in your dorm, laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist loosely, giving you light pecks on your lips. however, you stopped him.

"beomgyu, we can't keep doing this." you pushed him off, scanning his face for any reaction. he looked at you slightly stunned, speechless.

"what?"

"i mean what i said, we need to stop this, you can't keep acting like we're not more than friends. i'm tired of it, it hurts you know." you explained yourself, letting your emotions get the best of you. beomgyu still looked at you speechless, unable to say anything, you took this as a sign to continue.

"if you only see me as a girl that you can just screw around with, then our friendship is done. if the 12 years of us being friends mean nothing to you, then we can stop all of this." beomgyu's eyes widened at your words, panic filling his eyes.

"no, no please don't.. i really didn't mean to hurt you, i'm so sorry." beomgyu shook his head, "please don't leave me, you're everything to me. i'm sorry that i felt you in the dust, i'm sorry that i flirted with other girls, knowing that i might hurt your feelings, i'm sorry for neglecting your feelings everytime. i'll change please yn.."

he was desperate, he couldn't bear seeing you leav him. the only reason why he decided to continue was because he felt like this was the only way he could have you, without the fear of rejection. he hated himself for hurting you like this out of his own selfishness.

"i'll change, we'll be more than friends, i'll drop the act now. i'll continue loving you like how i always did, i won't ignore you anymore." beomgyu begged, rubbing your arms gently. you listened to his words, not knowing if you could trust him.

"we'll start over. i promise i'll be the man you want." beomgyu mumbled, hoping that his proposal would gain a little bit of your trust. you slowly nodded your head, "you break your promise and i'll kill you."

beomgyu chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, leaning his head against your chest, "my life is yours then.."

[arisuraxz]

Twinkling Watermelon (pt.2)

summary: you fell in love with beomgyu first, but he fell harder.

warning: cursing

taglist: @eclipse-777 (lmk if you want to be tagged!)

im actually happy writing this JIHSUIYGSIHI but hope u enjoy!1!!!

if you havent read part 1, look at my page!

beomgyu was holding you, and running, rushing to the hospital. beomgyu was actually worried because a guy has to take care of a girl, right?

and this is how it started. Beomgyu at the time beomgyu now has a crush on you. Blushing hard. As soon as he went to the hospital, he shouted.

"nurse! help! this girl collapsed! help!"

the nurse ran up to beomgyu, to take care of you, so they put you into a rolling hospital bed, and took you into a room.

🪢

an hour later, you still haven't woken up. the nurses talking to beomgyu, saying something.

"mr. choi, for this, you have to sign a paper for y/n," as she passes out the paper to beomgyu.

"oh yeah, ofc, nurse!"

well, beomgyu didnt know what to do. he just thought of 'its just letters all over the paper' in his mind. all he did was just put his signature in the paper.

"thank you!" beomgyu told to the nurse.

so he ran, to check on you, so he went to the room your in, and checked to see if your okay. as he was checking, you woke up. you saw yourself lying down in a rolling hospital bed, looking around, and before you realized you were even in a hospital, you saw beomgyu. you were shocked. you asked yourself in your mind, 'did he take you to the hospita-'

"y/n? are you okay? im so glad you woke up!" he was relieved, he was waiting for 1 hour, and 15 minutes for you to wake up.

huh? you didnt know what was happening, and you finally realized, you were in a hospital.

"beom-beomgyu? what are you doing here?" you said, clueless.

"you dont need to know about that, y/n, are you really okay? you got me worried."

"yeah, im okay, i think im gonna go now" you got out of your bed and went outside, going to your home.

"wait nono, y/n! are you hungry? i can take you to a restaurant and ill pay you!"

wait, what? hes really paying me? we arent even close, or not even friends, but this? Nah, no way.

"no, im not hungry, now leave me alone. my mom will be angry at me." then, your stomach rumbles.

"ehehehhheh!! what do you mean? your hungry! hahahah!!" you realized, so you covered your stomach with your arms and you walked away. and, beomgyu was infront of you again.

"nonononono y/n, im sorry! ill actually pay you! which restaurant do you wanna go? anywhere, y/n! i dont care if its expensive, ill pay you!" he begged, with his puppy eyes, watering.

"fine. lets go to the restaurant there."

so you both went to the restaurant you wanted to go, and he was actually serious. he did pay you. after he paid, you and beomgyu went to the table, waiting for the food. and maybe after twenty minutes. the foods finally here. you both were eating peacefully, and you looked at beomgyu, eating, and damn, he looked so pretty. you were admiring him. beomgyu realized, and as soon as he realized, you went back to eating your food. Beomgyu was blushing, crazy, like, actually crazy. he was blushing so hard, that his legs are swinging and kicking. so he went back to his food, and he was about to tell you something.

"y/n, do you like your food?" he wondered.

"yeah, i do, do you?" you wondered back.

"ofc i do! why? did you think that my food was bad?"

"what? no! im also just wondering" you told to beomgyu.

and you both went back to eating your food.

🪢

you both were walking to your guys home, and around 8pm, and you normally was supposed to be home at 5pm, but you didnt care at all. you didnt want to ruin the moment.

"hey, y/n, since we are going home, ill give you my number. so, if you need any help, contact me. ill be here for you. or, if you cant, please think about me!" while he said that, he showed you his number.

your heart felt like it was about to burst. you were blushing, and beomgyu was too. so you smiled.

"your smiling.." beomgyu looked at you, as he said quietly.

"what did you say?" you asked.

"what, y/n?"

"oh, nevermind."

"well, y/n, please walk home safe! ill see you tomorrow!!" he ran. "tornado!"

you look at him, running. then, you walked home. while you walked home, you were thinking about the scene that happened with you and beomgyu. you were happy. you never been so happy before in your life. As soon as i got home, i went into my bed, laid down, and thought all bout the things me and beomgyu did. and i realized, i have the biggest crsuh on him.

[akuvrus]

#⠀EYE CONTACT !!﹒🎸༉‧₊˚.⠀⠀[choi yeonjun] ✧︵

☆ 》 summary ー when you make eye contact with the male you have always been staring at secretly, not knowing he had a thing for you too everytime you paid a visit to the guitarist store.

♡ 》 genre！﹒fluff, strangers to lovers. non!idol au, teenage era.

ʬʬ disclaimers﹕my first unrelated beomgyu fic, poggers! also i just noticed how pretty yeonjun is and he might just be my bias wrecker.. reader staring at yeonjun a lot, yeonjun being off character (i think) ; im not sure if im proud of this one haha, i got distracted a lot + this isn’t proofread!

now, you wondered, how did you get here in this position? well, let’s go back from the very start.

it all started when you were going to buy a electric guitar for your brother’s birthday, a gift that you knew he was trying to save up for. but you were steps ahead, having much more earnings than him and decided to use it for good use.

that is, until you walked in the store, your eyes laid on a specific male, he worked for the store and today, you couldn’t help but keep staring. whatever he wore today, stood out to you a lot; you can’t help but daydream about him.

wait, daydream?

oh no, you weren’t here to daydream; you were supposed to buy the electric guitar for your brother, that’s right. but he just looked so.. captivating, you just can’t control yourself staring at his beauty. he’s definitely trying to lure you in, like a siren. except, he wasn’t one and that’s the problem.

man, if only other men were just as handsome, captivating and pretty just like him.

you quickly snapped out of your thoughts when you realized you were standing like a complete idiot at the door, mentally facepalming yourself as you quickly made your way towards the guitar you were going to buy and bringing it to the front counter.

“hey.” he smirks, looking at you. gosh, even his voice and smirk was captivating. “you’re planning to get this, hm?” he says, “i think it’s about time.” he says, that you look at him dumbfounded. what did he mean by that?

“didn’t you notice? i lowered down the price for you, silly.” he grins at you. “huh? really?” you asked dumbfoundedly as you checked the price tag you noticed, that he did indeed lower down the price by $100, making it only $280. you raise your brows in surprise.

“ah.. this means i get to save an extra $100..” you smile to yourself, glancing down at your card. “hmm, i’m taking this that you’re paying with card then?” you nod in response. “alright, then insert it here..” he points to the payment terminal, giving you a sign to insert the card when you both accidentally made eye contact.

oh shoot.

you really, really wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. his eyes were too captivating, too pretty, you had to stare and admire everything about his eyes.

yeonjun felt like he was doing a staring contest the moment you both made eye contact and locked eyes together. he can’t help but notice how pretty your eyes were. but he quickly snapped out of it, hoping you would do the same too, except you kept on staring. it seemed like you had zoned out, and he waved his hands in front of your face.

“hello? earth to..” he stops. ah, he doesn’t even know your name.

“ah! i must’ve stared again, i’m so so sorry! i really- i was just- i got captivated by your looks!” you blurted, freaking out. he stares before laughing it off. “i feel confident when you stare, why don’t you do it more often? how about, everyday?” he smirks.

“everyday..?” you question, “but i don’t think i’ll be coming here anymore after i buy this-” he cuts you off by leaning over the counter, closer to your figure. “then why don’t we get together? we stare at each other often, i think it’s obvious we like each other. it’s a win-win situation.” he states, grinning at you. “so?”

“your looks are too captivating, i don’t think i’ll be able to handle it.”

“that’s alright,” he shrugs, “i can lower it down for you,” he pauses, looking towards you. “if you agree to be mine.”

“it’s not like i can say no,” you slightly grin, “then, we’re a couple now, right?” he asks, arms crossed leaning over the counter as he looked towards you with a smirk.

“yeah.”

“great, let’s go on a date tonight then. i’ll treat you because i’m such a gentleman.” he says with confidence, smirking to himself. “don’t get too high of yourself.. we still have a lot to learn about each other.”

“well then, i’m choi yeonjun, seventeen. what about you?”

“[last name] [name], seventeen also.”

“good start, we’re the same age.” he smirks. “i mean.. of course we’d be, if not, that would be, like, horrendous!” you gasped, over exaggerating it on purpose. he chuckles at your actions.

“uh-huh.”

suddenly, your phone’s alarm goes off, saying it had already been thirty minutes and it should be time for you to be heading home. “ah right! the electric guitar! i haven’t even paid for it,” you panicked, inserting your card into the payment terminal.

after paying and pulling your card back out, you quickly apologize to yeonjun, “i’m sorry, but i have to go head home now,” you apologized, swiftly grabbing the electric guitar before rushing out in a rush.

you failed to miss a “see you tonight for our date!” as you made no time running back home in a rush to package your gift.

you soon quickly realize you forgot to ask for his number, until you spot a sticky note taped onto the guitar, noticing a phone number to it and a little cute note written by yours truly, yeonjun.

“don’t forget our date tonight, here’s my number as well.”

you smile to yourself knowing that you are no longer single like your brother.

© akuvrus ★ do not repost. a/n ー this is rushed and not really my favorite, but i still hope you guys like it; it’s my first time writing for a different txt member other than the one i’m used to writing for.. (beomgyu)

[bunnyluvs-blog]

"Who do u love" "I love Gyu"

Gamer!Beomgyu x roomate reader, non-idol au

Tags -- Fluff, irl games, Make out session, cuddles, cod, gyu is a rage quiter

"WOOOO HEADSHOT" You could hear even if you were actually there. If was your lovely and oh so quiet roomate, Choi Beomgyu. The biggest nerd youve ever seen. He was dorky with his messy dark brown hair. If he wasnt busy playing games he was working or napping. Often falling asleep on the couch after watching a whole series of k-dramas. However dispite all of this, you found him to be darling. The chocolate haired boy never failed to put a smile on your face as he would smile at you when you brought him food during his midnight gaming sessions.

It was 10pm on a friday, which is a normal gaming beomgyu hour. You were at the gas station picking up some extra snacks for you and beomgyu. He paid just a little bit more then you for rent so it was the least you could do. You walked around the aisles, your phone lights up with a message.

beargyu !: "Can u pick up some sour patch kids plsss 🤤"

Y/n: "yes i can anything else ?"

beargyu !: "A MONSTER 👹"

Y/n: "original im assuming"

beargyu !: "u know me sm OK BYE"

You close your phone and pick of the sour patch kids and two monsters. Last time you only brought one beomgyu got mad because he didnt have one for the morning. Now you always get 2 monsters for him. You actually have a list on your notes app for all the stuff he gets from different places. Down to the amount of pickles he wants on his burger. You start heading back to the apartment. Its not far from where you and beomgyu live so you often just walk.

You get back home and place your keys down and kick off your shoes, placing the snacks on the counter. You could already tell he was playing Modern Warfare just by the noises the TV was making. You lay on the couch for a bit. Too tired to really move around. You were a sleepy girl, not much someone can do there, well besides sleep. Which is what you did for about 15 minutes before your phone was being blown up by beomgyu telling you to hurry up. For all he knew you were still at the Corner store buying him snacks. Sitting up and stretching for a bit, you got up to grab the snacks.

You made him some Mac n cheese so he could have real food and not just snacks. For some weird reason the owners if the apartment never thought it was a good idea to get a modern day stove, so it takes 25 whole minutes just for the water to boil a bit. and whole 40 minutes later, it was ready. You got the bowl of mac n cheese and his monster and knocked on the door before opening it. And there he was, your adorable roomate yelling at the TV because some kid shot him. Placing the food down on the table you tapped him softly. "Gyu i made you food so you dont starve yourself mk?" He looks at you brightly as if you were a genie from a bottle and closes his game. He never liked to game and eat, something about the food being too good he doesnt do his best. "Thank you! Your the best, omg you even got the right shape for the noodles. Its like you were made for me" He says, smiling widely before taking a big bite of the food. All you could do was smile.

Once he finished he put his bowl away in the sink then headed straight back to gaming. By now it was almost 12 and beomgyu was still gaming away. Yoy thought too bring the sour patch kids he asked for. Putting them in a bowl so he doesnt have to dig around for them, and removing all the yellow ones. Beomgyu never liked the yellow sour patch even though you loved them. You brought the candy to beomgyu, as he turns to look at you as he flashes his one of a kind smile. It makes your heart flutter like it always does. "Y/N you have my candyyy ugh howd you know i was craving them right now" He ask but its not really a question, you just smile and giggle. "Im just magic" you said to him "You're welcomeee" you say leaving the room. "Thank you, love you" He replied. Which made your heart stop. You had always had a little crush on Beomgyu if it wasnt clear as day. He was exactly your type and he was major cute. You never wanted to act on it though incease he didnt feel the same and one of you would have to move out because of your feelings.

You chose not to think about it. Maybe it just slipped out, Friends say i love you all the time, he probably wasnt even thinking. You scroll through your phone for about half an hour before you hear an angry scream and a door slamming, along with a very pouty beomgyu. He sits next to you pn the couch with a loud huff sound. "Oh no what happned" you say with a sorry look. "Some 12 year old just killed me in overwatch, he was actually cheating and he got the play of the game!" Poor gyu you thought for a bit before he laid ontop of you. He always does this when he loses a game. He comes to you with that adorable pouty face and cuddles you. "Is there anything i can do to make you feel better" you said softly, messing with his hair. It goes quiet for a bit and you think he's fallen asleep when you here. "You could kiss me" What. The words leave his mouth and all of a sudden your at a loss for words. He just said you could kiss him, AND IT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER? "Only if you want me to.." you say softly in return. And that was all beomgyu needed before he shuffled up and planted a quick kiss on your lips.

Both of your faces turned red, beomgyus ears turning the same shade as well. Next thing you knew, you kissed him, deeper and more passionate this time. He returned the kiss putting his hands on your waist. Wrapping your arms around his neck. Your lips moved in sync with one another. Passion and romance filled the room. Beomgyu licked your lips as a way to ask to add tongue to the kisses, and you happily open up your mouth a bit to let him in. These kisses last for what seems only a fee minutes, but you both stop due to the fact that air is needed to be alive.

"Idk ive just always had feelings for you" he said softly, "I mean how could i not, your so pretty and sweet, and loveable. Your eyes are so soft, and you always seem to just know me its amazing." He lets his thoughts run free from his brain to his mouth. And you dont mind. "Like you get me food and hold me when in sad, you never judge me. You take out the yellow sour patch even thought i do like them, i just tell you to take them out so you can eat them because i know theyre your favorite. But i told you i didnt like them once, and that was 6 months ago" You couldnt help but giggle and give him another kiss. "Oh gyu your so silly, thats one of the main reasons i fell for you" you say smiling and plant a kiss on his forehead. You were so happy, nothing else was said that night as you and beomgyu fell asleep on the couch, not caring what back problems came the next day

[yutasbimil]

Ride With You

beomgyu x fem!reader | txt ff. [one-shot] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: fluff cw: frenemies vibe, friends to lovers, lots of bantering, teasing, much used 'person a got sick in bed, now person b takes care of 'em', falling in love, domestic fluff, playing video games, fluff! note: needed to take a break and cleanse from writing nasty things, need fluff in the meantime. needless to say, this is inspired by a post, and how reoccurring it is w/ beomgyu’s role in txt mvs and the beef(?) bikes have with him lmao. and im dumb af as well in riding one, this is the result ig lmao Surprisingly, I have a song in mind about this writing I did?! :0 (Shocking for me at least haha) ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ | ‘Bodybag’ by chloe moriondo ! also, not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, tho hope 3rd POV is good for y'all ♡ word count: 4.6k

do not repost © yutasbimil (2024)

“Pabo-yah! We’re already late, Gyu!” Y/n huffed, stepping on the bike pedal harder. 

“Step on it, Y/n!” He further pressed his tone along with his grip on her waist. Her smirk is anything but mirth at the male’s hot touch.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Y/n resisted to roll her eyes and keep her eyes on the road. Heck, she can’t even shut her eyes for a moment but she’s very much annoyed already.

And I know what you’re thinking, you’d usually expect the guy pressing on the bike to lead, with the girl riding behind them. Not that she's thinking of rom-com tropes with this dweeb. Ew. 

If anything, Y/n thinks the same as well, but the exhausted cranks ticked her off. All of this whilst on how much Beomgyu is berating her while he’s the one sitting behind her. The nerves!

“Yeonjun keeps calling me! Our call time was ages ago—”

“Yes, I know, Captain Obvious!” Another huff, aligned as another tramp as a steep path meets them. And the ringing and vibrating noise in the background is pressuring her. “How about you be the one to take the wheel? Not me having to carry your ass up this hill!”

Man, why did they even think of taking a bike ride to go to the meetup?!

His dumbness is so contagious, that she might have to rethink her life choices hanging out with him too much. The single brain cell the two people have to share is oozing.

“Sorry if I have such a big ass—”

“For all things you have to apologize for,” Y/n grunts. “Why don’t you start with your stupidity? Pabo Beomgyu—”

The bike ride all the way to the hangout was rough, coarse as the words the two spit out to each other.

It was opposite to how soft her tone was at Taehyun, whom they just catch on with his magic tricks as if it’s an intermission number before their arrival.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes at how amused Y/n reacted, pulling two seats for both of them. He grabs her bag with a huff, putting it on a vacant seat.

“I know it’s impressive, but you seem overly fascinated by it, Y/n.”

“I don’t need your opinion, shut it, Gyu.”

“Hey, hey, how about you two chill?” Kai gestures to them to lower it down. 

Soobin bats an eye at Kai. Of course that will calm these two feisty beans. 

It earned another huff from Beomgyu as Yeonjun butts in, rubbing his hands in anticipation, he smirks at the two new arrivals. “And you two already know the deal right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Beomgyu throws a towel near Y/n, sliding his card with his other hand. “I’m on it—”

Barely having enough reaction time on the thrown towel, she wipes her sweat in confusion, furrowing her eyebrows at Beomgyu. “I also have to contrib—”

“I said I’m on it,” he pressed. “Don’t make me change my mind, Y/n.”

“Geez, Choi Beomgyu,” she says in defeat. “Suit yourself, Sweet Cheeks.”

Before another banter ensues with his sharp daggers at her, Soobin intervenes.

“Thank you, Choi Beomgyu!” He beams, wrapping both Beomgyu’s arms to grab his attention. 

‘I’m also late, why does he have to take all of the credit?’ Y/n pouts at the thought, and it remains a thought as Beomgyu looks like he's already settled it. She just stayed eased in her seat, having to emphasize at least to herself. ‘I need to pay for the food too since I’m also late.’ But she doesn't want to ruin Beomgyu’s already good mood.

In Beomgyu’s defense, they wouldn’t be late if it weren’t for him, and Y/n’s effort in taking them there, he had to make up for it. Of course, he won’t say that directly. 

“Beomgyu, you dummy,” she says inaudibly, more on pouting seeing him this energetic with them.

She just goes on and joins them but alas, her social battery is bound to be quickly depleted with a group dominated by extroverts.

“I'm sure Y/n missed us so much she's this speechless huh?” Yeonjun says, making Y/n smile wide at how he's even laughing along with the others. Hyuka’s laugh, in particular, is hilariously contagious, oh lord— “It's just been so long with the semester piling up uni work, y’kno? This is a nice break.”

“Look at how this cutie is gracing us with her charm.” He goes on and pinches her cheek but Beomgyu is quick to swat his hand away from her, earning a smirk from Yeonjun.

This sly fox.

Beomgyu quickly catches on and he gets caught in his clutches, turning to what Yeonjun wanted.

“Aigooo…” Yeonjun turns his attention to him. He just goes on to aggressively wipe Beomgyu's lips as he's pretty much slobbered with gochujang sauce to be even bothered.

“Hyung! You almost wiped his lips off!” Kai points out how Yeonjun is holding down Beomgyu's head a bit too firmly.

Soobin just laughs hysterically. “That better shut him up, he's hella noisy!”

Yeonjun continues with his agenda at hand, further throwing Beomgyu off with his question. “Don't you agree Y/n is such a cutie, Beomgyu? Good enough to be someone's girlfriend, hmmm?”

Yeonjun kinda hitting on Y/n earns an eye roll from the other. “Ya! Stop that.”

“I ought to start than being a slowpoke!” Yeonjun was clearly taking Beomgyu's annoyance with his comment rather than Yeonjun touching him.

“What are you on about?”

Y/n is just ignoring them. Not catching on as it's pretty much the same thing with their bantering. Right? She just shakes her head, it can't be even bothered. Hyuka is mostly the only one who got the hang of being nice to a girl, and Taehyun… Soobin as well. Maybe because they have a sister. Or who knows?

Y/n sighs.

It's not just being nice and giving compliments being the lack or being the problem.

“You guys need to talk to girls more.” her tone is a bit prim. The jerk of the guys’ brow set a different mood. It just left Y/n tilting their head on them.

Or whatever they’re trying to achieve here for the matter.

Is this Yeonjun’s way of making up for all the teasing? But how is it that Beomgyu is against this whole 'being nice' thing? And towards me?

Yeonjun was simply complimenting me, right? How is it that Beomgyu is so provoked?

Her thoughts just left her spinning like a cyclone.

Given that it's Beomgyu that talks the most with Y/n. They're pretty close. And his company fills the warmth and hole that she needs to be entertained.

As much as she despises his guts, might as well put his existence to use, right?

But is bantering all there's to it? 

Because outside the claw ripping and hissing, there isn’t much room given for them to talk heart-to-heart. The others give them a chance but it’s often thrown out the window quickly, as bantering seems to be the top priority and the most natural and most sane option for the two.

What even begins to draw and intrigue me with such a guy?

Y/n had her chin propped up in her palm, lazily glancing over Beomgyu and others going about their day. 

What's stopping them from being close?

Not that she wants to be close with him of course. 

It’s not like she really looks at her obnoxious friend in a certain light right? Y/n doesn’t treat Beomgyu any differently, if anything she’s mostly focused on him just because he’s an attention-grabbing loudmouth of a friend. She’s even sure that given Y/n had four more other guys to validate this, they’ll say the same tops how they just appear as frenemies at most give or take.

She’s left quiet the whole time just observing the group, particularly the loud megaphone they acquired of a friend. There was a clear distinction between who is introverted and extroverted. With how Soobin and Y/n are just munching their way into the bread they ordered in peace. 

Can there ever be a day for me and Beomgyu to be this solemn as well?

Aish, what am I even saying? The redness on her face is easily prompted up her skin as she fixes herself in her seat. Y/n kept her demeanor stoic and expressionless. Not that she was even trying to give effort on this.

Having gotten used to their silence and behavior, Taehyun picked up something else from the lady that he had to tap into her shoulder.

“You good?” Taehyun says, gesturing with a thumbs up. She mirrors his bright expression, though it came off bleaker than expected. “Fine, Taehyunnie, just tired.”

She didn't know that that would be the first surge of her fatigue.

“Where’s Y/n?” 

You wouldn't really expect it to be coming out of Beomgyu's mouth as 1. They are almost always the two stuck to the hip, it's mostly the gang asking either of them where each other is. and 2. Don't they hate each other's guts to be this concerned about the other's absence?— But that dismisses the first point— Soobin shook his head and finally answered Beomgyu's query, though with the same worry. 

“Didn't she message you that she's staying sick at home?”

A crease appeared on Beomgyu's forehead. “Wasn't she just fine the other day?”

Soobin shrugs. “I thought so too, we're thinking of visiting her later but she refused. Her cold is contagious, she said.”

“Aish, I don't care. You know how that girl is.” 

With a sprint, Soobin wasn't able to stop Beomgyu in his tracks. But he knows as well how his friend means well, and Beomgyu knows Y/n the best. Even if they appear they would slit each other's throats.

-

“Fudgesticks, my throat is killing me.” 

It’s as if a slit down her neck appeared, along with piles of tissues by her bedside consuming her space.

Y/n also forgot due to her raging headache to buy some necessities to at least ease her pain. She can't talk well to let her Mom know so she's mostly stuck in bed.

“My vision is too blurry for this.” 

Even tapping on her phone is strenuous. Y/n gets into another coughing fit before she hears a knock on the door. 

She didn't order anything, or know someone coming over. But the familiar footsteps and patterned knock even pushed through her muffled hearing.

Her ears turned red at the sight of her friend, a bag on hand with some fever-cooling patches. Even with a mask on, he still looks cool. Huh?

What was that about, Y/n?

Moreover… What the hell is he here for?!

“Beomg—” She was quickly shut silent as he peeled off the seal on the cooling patch, placing it on her forehead. It at least soothes her, relaxing her in her bed. Maybe because of the elevated temperature that she softens for Beomgyu. 

He pulls down his mask as he leans close, checking her neck with the back of his hand. Y/n didn’t know but this was the most quiet she had seen Beomgyu. His face painted with worry and seriousness even throws her off. Is her fever turning her delirious? How is it that every bit of his movement is caught by her vision? As if played in slow motion? Heol. 

Y/n from her is sure she’s stone-cold sober and off her fever already. So this might be caused by something else… Okay, breathe.

But it's not usual for him to be this way. 

He even fixes the placement of the cooling patch before speaking again. “Damn, it barely fits with your forehead so big.”

There we go.

“Be glad I'm not in the energy to argue right now.” She barely responds as another cough kicks in, Y/n quickly covers her mouth as Beomgyu hands her a tissue.

“I'll make the most out of it, no worries “ He beams a shit-eating grin.

“What are you doing here?” she finally asks. Most probably to annoy me, she figures. That’s practically the reason he was born to do so. But what added another crease on her forehead was her realization hitting her, glancing back at her door. “And how…?”

“Your mom is going out, so she told me to take care of you.”

“Heol.”

“Hey, don't be like that,” Beomgyu shakes his head, but no dismay can be traced in his wide smile. “What I'm doing is already charity, showering you with my presence.”

“That goes more to Mom.” she snarks. “She likes you so much.”

“Hmmm? I'm so handsome and nice that she wants me as a son huh?”

She probably shouldn't have said that. It's obvious how it pumps his ego with his head already so massive.

“Since I'm done acknowledging your presence, how ‘bout you go home.” she huffs, pulling the blanket over her face.

Beomgyu just sits beside her in her bed, shrugging as he keeps his lips pursed. “I know you'll reject me coming here if I don't barge in, so I had my way.”

“Right…” she coughs again, limiting her words and pulling further away from Beomgyu. “I suppose…ha- the others… told you not to visit?”

“Yeah, you were quite persistent on it, knowing Soobin he'll comply. But remember I'm more persistent than you, Y/n.”

“Making it a competition still, huh?” She barely rolls her eyes at him, in a mix of amusement and annoyance. But the cooling feeling on her forehead and the paper bag beside her puts her at ease. She can't help but stare at him but it feels quite strange seeing him like this, and the two of them not bantering for a hot minute. 

The sickness buff I guess, he's being nice.

“Plus, your mom makes delicious soup, I ought to have it all by myself without the gang.”

His true colors show through. Y/n snickers. “FYI, that's for me, Beomgyu.”

“For us.”

He’s still as cheeky, she digressed.

Usually, it's no fun being sick in bed, boring at most with nothing to do. But Beomgyu's visit at least lessened that boredom. 

After a warm meal together, he still stayed in and revealed to bring some of his DVDs for them to share. Besides the more calmer version of Beomgyu, their conversation is to the least minimal with bantering, even having to adjust to her not screaming or straining her throat too much over video games. Fighting games and cooking games are surprisingly a good match for the two of them despite being cat and dog most of the time.

He had been incredibly mindful and detailed in being patient with her despite being a fanatic gamer on things. His tone and deep voice are soothing to the ears he's even helping her in the process.

Is it really just the heat of the slight fever or is the warmth of her cheeks different from anything?

“Ya! Pabo-yah! The rice is burning, Y/n!” It snaps Y/n back to her place, they're playing Overcooked, and Beomgyu is their supposed Head Chef. 

He had a stern look on his face that made her flustered.

“Sorry!” She didn’t even bump his arm that harshly but having to hear him wince at her closeness, she had to follow-up another apology. I didn’t notice the band-aids and bandages earlier. “What happened to your arm?”

“That’s nothing, come on, let’s go over this stage again.” Beomgyu quickly brushes off any means of asking about it. It draws her attention away further when he’s back with his immersed stare and explanation to her throughout the game.

She can't help but enjoy this moment but has he been this warm leaning close to her and less annoying?

Wasn’t this what tickled her curiosity about what it would look like if they were anything but down each other’s throats?

And this is surprisingly… to her liking. Being with Choi Beomgyu like this.

This was different from the other day. Much different from their usual time around each other. Or has his smile always been like this and I just refused to see it this way because my pride is in the way? 

Nah, being prideful and spouting the word ‘pabo’ runs smoothly and is easier.

This is easier to maintain.

But his smiling at her as they got 3 Stars in the game struck her as well.

“We work so well, Beomgyu.” I can at least give him the same warmth for now.

Y/n needs to get out of this fever-like dream.

Y/n is still not quite out of it even with her fever and health recuperated. It added more confusion to her seeing Beomgyu up and early before heading to school, near an alley practicing riding a bike.

He almost topples over along his bike seeing her presence— is he embarrassed or?

Y/n jerked her body in a mix of running towards him to check up on him and a sense of withdrawal. She might’ve looked stupid, glitching in place.

She's supposed to hide as she's still not ready to face him, but there's nothing wrong right? How is it that she's this ditzy? Why did she even think of hiding in the first place?

But she cannot stand looking at his stupid face, ridiculous how it's all for another reason other than annoyance—

“Y/n~!” Beomgyu chimes as he comes rushing to her.

He invites her to go to school together, mostly it's incoherently received on Y/n’s end as she's washed with disbelief.

Blinking a few more times, she just stands there motionless. More on how, he… Choi Beomgyu… wants to go together with me to school?

“Okay… uhm, are we taking the bus or?” The words finally reach Y/n’s tongue but her vision still cannot process much looking at Beomgyu's face.

“We can take a bike ride on the way?” Beomgyu suggests. 

Okay, coming off with an odd but usual start for them. 

Huh?

“Are you asking me to drive for you, or—” She starts slowly, trying to conceal her tone. Y/n is a bit pissed knowing she just came off from a fever but was dumbfounded at his answer.

“I’ll be the one…” Beomgyu says.

She perked a brow at him, skeptical of his answer. “You sure about that?”

Beomgyu promptly nods.

Being too caught up to think of even bringing up what she saw earlier, by the looks of it… was he learning how to ride a bike these past few days? She can’t even begin to look at his obvious bandages… Choi Beomgyu, you… sighs… Don’t tell me it’s because of him practicing too much? But why so suddenly? And for what…?

“Come on, Y/n, we're gonna catch up to Christmas if you still don't plan on budging.”

Y/n barely even had a chance to refuse with Beomgyu already pulling her close.

The bike ride was a little bit bumpy, but more or less smoother than expected not till they encountered some humps along the road. 

“Beomgyu, slow down!” she yelps. It made Y/n cling to his torso, the vibrations of his laughter didn't help as they scurried on their way to university. 

He's having too much fun with this.

-

“Why are you suddenly being nice to me?” She finally mustered up. 

“Haven't I always been nice to you?”

“Are you kidding me?” For once she was not amused by his teasing, her knowledge of the bandages on Beomgyu’s arm added to her withdrawal from banter.

“I'm the nicest out of the crew, what do you mean?” Beomgyu appealed.

“Yeah, yeah. You're a saint compared to Kai.”

She was trying her best not to fidget in place, but her fingers landed at the edge of his polo shirt. Her pleading eyes made Beomgyu give in. And this isn’t the first time this happened to him.

“I feel bad, okay?” Beomgyu slips, but the context is still not out there for the other end to comprehend, making the girl look up at him. 

“Hmmm?”

He tried his best to keep the light atmosphere, but maybe the sting on his arms urged him to reach out to her? Here goes nothing.

“You've been doing much for me, Y/n.” Beomgyu voiced out. “I didn't even realize you were tired. Last week when you still pushed through to ride a bike with you. I mean I've always seen you as a strong person, but I often forget how you hide your problems. And I at least want to give back to you.”

“Huh?” Is he for real now? But he had done so much for her in taking care of her when she was sick, and in some other instances—

“I know you don't like hearing this or me taking the blame but I know it's partly because of me you got sick. You got fatigued over carrying my big ass. And yeah, I've been a big ass for quite some time now towards you so I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, your big ass is at fault here. Definitely.” It slipped off Y/n’s lips out of disbelief that he even apologized for that, she sneers. “You're heavy up that hill when you’ve got mountains,” Y/n added, pointing at his bottoms.

“Y/n, what the heck? You're talking to me about my ass like that?” Beomgyu goes on and hides his bum with both his hands.

“Yeah, you're my ass.”

“What?”

“What?”

Y/n is shocked at herself as well, did she just claim him-oh sh—

“You're an ass,” she retaliated. “A-and, you started it!”

“Nuh-uh, I heard something else.”

Is he sure he wants to guarantee what I just said?!

“It's probably because you fell from that bike from that curb.” Y/n turned her back to him quickly and fastened her pace. “Now come on, chop-chop! We're gonna be late, remember?”

Beomgyu blushed to himself, didn't know she'd catch him that way but he'd act nonchalant and turn the tides back at her.

Just as she’s secured in his back, he stepped on the pedal and took her by surprise. “So you want me as your ass?”

The emphasis on ‘your’— It took all her self-control to convert her urge to push him off into huffing out CO2. “Can we stop talking about asses?”

“Aye, sorry you don't have one—”

“Choi Beomgyu!”

“No worries, I'll let you carry mine anytime.” The obvious wink in his tone made her writhe in embarrassment. Y/n just holds onto him even though she’s going to turn this smooth ride unstable with the amount of teasing he’s doing.

“I'd rather not.”

“Okay, I'll ride along with you in whatever you prefer. But don't you want to ask me what I prefer?”

“What?” She lightly tapped him on the shoulder, even by the leg to signal him to side the road first. Without going down the bike, they just stayed there, the atmosphere between the two not as still as the raving wind. The two are slightly in regret for being too close to each other. But they’re also too stubborn to budge to hide away the obvious pumping heartbeats deafening them.

“How about you take the whole package, can I be yours?” Still not turning to Y/n, Beomgyu shakes like the leaf on the tree.

Y/n furrowed her brows, mouth agape as it’s been robbed with words. She did her best not to touch his bandages to make him twirl and turn to face him properly. 

Y/n leaned in close to him but the words still not quite reconnected with her brain.

Beomgyu blushes at their distance, much the same and quite different from when she was sick. There's a hint of rose pink in her cheeks that he is quite distracted to not notice her flick his forehead. “Aish!”

“Are you sick in the head?!” Y/n fumes. “What nonsense are you spurting, do you even take responsibility for that?!”

“Yes!”

“Pabo. Let's go.” Turns her back blushing, but he easily catches on to get the bike from her. “Let's go, Pabo-yah.”

Moment of silence enveloping them, the thumping of their hearts still quite not simmering down their caged bodies. The only thing distancing them are the bike handles they’re walking in by other ends.

“Are you serious?” She almost blurted way too loudly to her liking, it came off breathless. “Be mine?”

“Be yours, be my baby. Whatever suits you.” Beomgyu directly stares at her but he’s also on the verge of melting in his scarlet cheeks. But he had to stand his ground and make this clear. “And okay, I know Yeonjun and I get on each other's nerves a lot but the last time just pushed me to admit it, okay? 

“The randomly brought up comments about ‘cutie’ and ‘GF’ thingy with me?”

“So you were listening to that time— but that’s beside the point, you’re more than that, Y/n.” He heaves in a breathe. "Okay… it’s just that he did push me to admit that I like you. I like you, Y/n. Not to sound like a high school kid but I like- like you, Y/n. To be clear. And I'm sorry for being an ass most of the time but you know that it wasn't meant to hurt you like harm you."

“I know, Beomgyu,” she admits, finally without that mask of pride of wanting to one-up him, as there is no means of doing that at the moment. As of right now, she’s also seeing Beomgyu as he is, without their childish attempts to get into each other’s skin. 

And why did they even begin to do that, and since when?

That is not for this agenda to go through, Y/n just laughs in disbelief, but it’s now about her whole belief system being rearranged about this man standing so close to her.

Without any ounce of fake-built grudge, she warmly smiles at Beomgyu.

“Same here. I like you.”

It really showed through more in her vulnerable state, and that time he took care of her when she was sick in bed resurfaced a lot of things in the past as proof he had been looking out for her all this time. Even though it is mostly swept under the rug forcibly by the guy himself by the amount of teasing and bantering. He was hiding it under the guise of being a prick when he’s actually soft on the inside.

But it’s all no longer for naught.

Aish, Choi Beomgyu. We really went all through that as it’s more fun that way huh?

“I bet Soobin will say ‘Took you guys long enough!’” The thought brushed past Y/n, making her shake her head in all this absurdity. 

“I’ll add another 5,000 won if Taehyun says ‘I almost got sick of your bantering!’”

Calculating the closeness and blurting out her summation, she marveled at the near future expectation. “Now they have to deal with us being lovey-dovey, huh?”

“Heol.” 

The duo, as if in full sync, made fake barf noises, then burst out laughing. Y/n and Beomgyu unconsciously intertwined their fingers until fully wrapped around each other, giddily holding hands on the way to the university.

So the feelings were hindering them, and they concealed it underneath all that cat and dog masquerade.

But what’s sure for her is that she’ll certainly ride along these feelings and where this would take them, together.

※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※

[spicyseonghwas]

hurt-comfort ; with - beomgyu

pairing :: choi beomgyu x male reader genres/au's :: fluff, angst, hurt-comfort viewer rating :: 13+ content warnings :: cursing, crying word count 530 words network tag @preciousillusions-net a/n im only postng this today to keep the murderer-by-fluff allegations going

"yaaah, what's wrong with youu?" gyu whined out of nowhere, giving you a scathed look.

"wh-" you stuttered, confused by the sudden lashing out. "gyu, what the hell? no, what's wrong with YOU??" you nearly yelled. hurt, you scowled, turning away to hide the tears that had suddenly begun to burn in your eyes. you scooted almost a yard away from him in an effort to get away.

"y/n-" gyu heard the pain and shake in your voice, reaching over and putting a hand on your shoulder in an effort to console you.

"FUCK OFF, GYU, YOU-" you cut yourself off before you could stoop down to the low, icy level your best friend was sitting on. you shoved his hand off your shoulder and ran from txt's dorm common room, your face in your hands as you paid no mind to the sobs ripping from your lips.

"that was fucked on a real low level, my man." yeonjun said, having looked up from his phone to the commotion.

it was now gyu's turn to cover his face with his hands, which were already soaked in the hot tears now brimming in his own eyes.

"i-i know." he choked out.

"then go fix it, you sad little shit..." soobin mumbled absently; but he was still right. gyu had to fix this...

~+~

"y/n?" gyu whispered, knocking softly on your door. when you didnt answer he softly and carefully added, "y/n, i know you're in here, i can hear you crying... let me come in, i wanna talk this out."

your weak, half-assed, near-silent "fuck you..." went respectfully unheeded by beomgyu as he opened what he now realized was his bedroom door the rest of the way and walked quietly into the room. he crawled onto the bed and laid down behind you, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling his nose in your neck in a spooning position.

"i'm sorry for lashing out at you, y/n," he whispered into your ear, reaching around and gently caressing your wet face. "it was really unnecessary and mean of me." he used his thumb to carefully and softly wipe the tears from your face.

gyu huffed quietly through his nose when you didn't answer. he crawled carefully over you, flopping down on his side in front of you. he reached out and cupped your face softly in both hands, pressing his thumbs every-so-gently on your bottom eyelids to help stem hte flow of the tears he knew were burning your eyes and sinuses and probably causing you a headache.

"why did you snap at me..." you whimpered, leaning hesitantly into his hands- even as broken as you felt you still couldnt say no to the gentle contact he was giving you.

"i don't know, i'm not sure what happened to me there." he whispered back.

"but i know i love your cuddles, and i'll never snap at you for giving them to me again." he added, a smile spreading across his face and infecting your heart with softness.

"we cool, bestie?"

you giggled as though drunk- which you metaphorically were: his smile was all the wine anyone ever needed.

"yeah."

© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.

[koqabear]

hi!! im back to your acc after a while (i need some healing and your ffs are perfect)

i wanted to ask if your masterlist is updated ? i remember loving the emo beomgyu fic SOOO MUCH and I NEVER KNEW IT HAD A CONTINUATION? i randomly stumpled upon it when searching for stuff to read last night but i couldnt find it in the navigation part

maybe im just blind tho :O

i hope youre doing well!!

haiii, it’s updated yea ! if you ever find yourself looking for something i wrote but can’t find it in my txt masterlist, try my mini masterlist for my 2K event !! and if somehow i did forget to add smth on there, you can always go through the #txtfanfic tag on my blog ! :D

here’s the continuation for emo boy btw U_U hope you liked it, i made them so insufferable and corny aughwjdbw

[bamgyuuuri]

⤷ call it what you want ┈ cbg.

sypnosis. ah, choi beomgyu, your best friend. he's always had a habit of keeping you on your toes, but lately, his actions had you second-guessing everything. why does he treat you differently? the more you think about it, the harder it is to ignore—there’s something more behind his sweetness, and you're determined to find out what.

pairings and tags. bestfriend!choi beomgyu x reader (f/m) . unresolved romantic tension . unspoken feelings . playful banter . beomgyu is lowkey (highkey) bad at expressing emotions . oblivious idiots in love

word count. 2.4k

short note … hi !! first ever fic posted on tumblr, kinda nervous … nevertheless, i hope you like it ! do tell me what you think <3

oftentimes, you found yourself caught in the web of your own thoughts, spiraling deeper with each passing day about the enigma that was beomgyu. he was your best friend, your confidant, your partner in crime—but sometimes, he felt like a puzzle you couldn’t quite solve.

it wasn’t just the big things, like the way he always seemed to show up exactly when you needed him, even without you asking. it was the little things, too—the way he’d hold your bag without a word when you struggled with too many things in your hands. the way he would sit through hours of your favorite shows—ones he didn’t particularly like—without a single complaint. the way his gaze lingered on you just a second too long when he thought you weren’t looking.

you didn’t know what to make of it. beomgyu wasn’t exactly a people pleaser. with others, he had a sharp tongue and a knack for playful teasing that often bordered on exasperation. but with you? he softened, like an untouchable winter snow melting under the warmth of spring. he never said no to you, even when he should have. even when you knew you were being unreasonable.

and it wasn’t like he didn’t have boundaries. you’d seen him draw them with others—firm, unyielding lines that no one dared to cross. yet, with you, those lines blurred until they were practically nonexistent.

it didn’t make sense. friends had limits, didn’t they? there were unspoken rules, boundaries that even the closest of friendships respected. but beomgyu seemed to exist in a different realm when it came to you, a realm where rules didn’t apply, and you were left wondering why.

was it guilt? pity? some unspoken sense of obligation? the thought made your stomach churn, and yet you couldn’t shake the tiny flicker of something else—a hope you didn’t dare name.

today, that flicker burned brighter, fueled by the quiet ache in your chest as you (im)patiently waited for his arrival as you sat on the park bench. you had asked him hangout once again just a few hours prior, and like always, he agreed without a second thought.

you clenched your hands together, the words bubbling up inside you like a storm waiting to break. you needed answers.

lost in your thoughts, you barely registered the faint sound of footsteps crunching against the gravel path, growing louder until they stopped right in front of you. a shadow fell over your face, and a familiar voice jolted you out of your reverie.

“hey. you alive in there?” beomgyu’s face hovered close, upside-down in your line of vision as he bent over to peer at you.

you blinked up at him, startled. “you—what are you doing?”

“checking if you’ve been body-snatched,” he replied, his grin wide and mischievous. “you’ve been sitting there looking all existential. do i need to call someone?”

you sat up straighter, huffing in mock indignation. “it’s nothing. i was just thinking.”

“dangerous,” he teased, straightening up and plopping onto the bench beside you. he threw his arm dramatically over the backrest, tilting his head to look at you with an exaggeratedly concerned expression. “don’t hurt yourself, okay? your brain only has so much capacity.”

“funny,” you reply dryly, rolling your eyes.

but his presence, his warmth beside you, already started to untangle the knot of thoughts swirling in your chest. that was the thing about beomgyu—he always had a way of pulling you back to the surface, no matter how deep you were sinking.

“what were you thinking about, anyway?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his. “was it me? wait—let me guess. it was me, wasn’t it?”

“wow,” you deadpanned, yet trying to hide your surprise on how he was so spot on.  “how’d you figure it out?”

“i mean, come on. i'm a pretty captivating subject,” he said, flashing you a cheeky grin. “if i were you, i’d think about me too.”

you snorted, unable to stop the laugh that bubbled up in your chest. “you’re too full of yourself.”

“only when I’m around you,” he retorts without missing a beat, his tone playful but carrying a hint of something deeper.

the words hit you in a way you didn’t expect, and you found yourself staring at him, searching his face. he looked completely at ease, his eyes sparkling with amusement and the corners of his mouth still curled into a smile. but there was something in the way he looked at you—something that made your heart skip a beat.

“you’re so weird,” you muttered, looking away before he could notice the way your cheeks had started to heat up.

“says the person who was just having a staring contest with the sky,” he shot back, leaning closer until his shoulder bumped yours. “come on, tell me. what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

his tone was light, teasing, but there was an undercurrent of genuine curiosity, and you dare say concern, that made your chest tighten. you hesitated, the words you’d been mulling over all day sitting heavy on your tongue.

“it’s really nothing,” you respond, but the words came out too quickly, too forced.

beomgyu raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “liar.”

“i'm not lying!” you insisted, though your voice betrayed you by pitching higher.

“oh, you so are,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “your nose is doing that twitchy thing it always does when you’re trying to cover something up.”

“my nose does not twitch!”

“it totally does.”

“does not!”

“does too,” he said with a laugh, leaning back and stretching his legs out in front of him. “you’re a terrible liar, you know? it’s one of your most endearing qualities.” even when teasing you, he just couldn’t help but let some of his fondness slip out.

you crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. “if you’re trying to get me to confess to some made-up crime, it’s not going to work.”

“who said anything about crime?” he shot back, tilting his head with a mock-innocent expression. “i’m just saying, if you want to pour your heart out to me, i’m all ears. i mean, i’m basically your emotional support rock at this point, right?”

you laughed despite yourself, the sound easing the tension that had been building in your chest. “you’re impossible.”

“impossible to resist,” he said with a wink, earning another eye roll from you.

but the banter, as much as it made you smile, wasn’t enough to distract you from the weight of the question pressing against your ribs. beomgyu, with all his lightheartedness and teasing, made it so easy to forget, but you couldn’t keep brushing it aside.

your gaze softened as you looked at him, really looked at him. the way his grin reached his eyes, the way he never seemed to run out of things to say around you, the way his entire demeanor shifted when it was just the two of you—more animated, more comfortable, like he could let down his guard.

“beomgyu,” you said, quieter this time, your voice cutting through his playful chatter.

upon hearing his name, he turns to you with a curious expression. “yeah?”

“why do you…” you hesitated, the words catching in your throat.

“why do i what?” he prompted, his tone gentler now, though his eyes still held a spark of curiosity.

“why do you act so differently with me?”

the question lingered in the air, and for the first time, you saw the confidence in his expression waver. his grin slowly faded, replaced by something more cautious, almost vulnerable.

“different how?” he asked, though you could tell he already knew what you meant.

“you let me get away with everything,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “you’re so… patient with me, even when i know i’m being ridiculous. you don’t act like this with anyone else. why?”

beomgyu opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if the words he wanted to say were caught somewhere between his heart and his tongue. his fingers drummed nervously against his knee, his gaze flickering away from yours. “i don’t know,” he said finally, but the words sounded hollow even to him.

“yes, you do,” you said, leaning in slightly. “be honest with me, gyu.”

beomgyu didn’t look at you. instead, his eyes were on the ground, his fingers toying with the sleeve of his hoodie, as if the fabric was the most fascinating thing in the world at that moment. there was something different about him now, something that made your heart beat a little faster, but also a little heavier.

“right.” his voice wavered slightly, but he quickly masked it with a cough. “you know, i don’t really think it’s that complicated.”

you narrowed your eyes at him, sensing his hesitation despite his nonchalant tone. “not complicated?” you almost scoffed, trying to mask the vulnerability creeping into your chest. “well, it’s a little complicated for me. i’ve been thinking about this for days, gyu.”

he shifted uncomfortably, his fingers tightening into fists, his gaze still avoiding yours. there was a flicker in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly you couldn’t catch it. his lips pressed into a thin line. “i don’t know what you want me to say.”

his words were like a soft slap to your chest, and for a moment, you were silent, unsure if you should push further or retreat. but the question, the confusion inside you, was too loud to ignore now.

“i just want you to be honest with me,” you pressed, voice quieter this time. “why are you so... different with me? you’re not like this with anyone else. you just let me... let me do whatever I want.”

beomgyu’s shoulders stiffened at your words, and for a moment, it looked like he might say something, but he clamped his mouth shut. his brow furrowed, and the muscles in his jaw twitched as he fought to hold back whatever he was thinking.

“maybe... maybe i just don’t care enough to question you.” his tone was too light, too dismissive, but it didn’t quite match the storm of emotion brewing behind his eyes. his voice was steady, but there was a nervous edge to it; a trembling hesitation that you could feel radiating from him like heat.

that wasn’t it. you knew it wasn’t it, and it made you press on. “no, beomgyu,” you say, your voice a little firmer now, though your heart was thumping harder in your chest. “it’s more than that, and you know it. you let me cling to you, drag you across the city, and you never complain. you never ask why. you just... go along with it. no one else gets that from you. so tell me why.”

the silence that followed felt suffocating. beomgyu was so still beside you that it almost scared you. his hand clenched, then unclenched by his side, and you could see the muscles in his neck tighten, the pulse in his throat racing. his eyes flicked to you for a split second before darting away again.

"i don't know," he muttered, his voice almost too quiet to hear. "maybe i just... like spending time with you."

it wasn’t an answer, it was a deflection; a weak attempt to hide what he really meant. his words were wrapped in a layer of indifference, but underneath, you saw the flicker of something else—something warmer, something real, but it was buried under layers of uncertainty.

his breath hitched as he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here, with you, in this moment. you could see the conflict in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed as if the words were physically painful to say. the quiet moments between you were the loudest, filled with all the things neither of you were saying.

“i just don’t get it,” you said, voice trembling slightly as you leaned in closer, watching him with wide eyes. “you act like... like you care about what i want all the time, but why? why is it always so easy for you with me?”

beomgyu froze at the question, his expression faltering for the briefest moment. his lips parted, but the words didn’t come. you could almost hear the internal battle waging in his mind—his desire to be honest, to tell you everything, fighting against the fear of what would happen if he did. his eyes flickered to you again, but quickly darted away, unable to hold your gaze for longer than a second.

“i don’t... i don’t know how to explain it,” he finally relents, albeit slightly, his voice distant and strained. “it’s just... you’re... you’re easy to be with. okay? with you, it's like i don’t have to think; like i don’t have to second-guess myself and my actions. it’s simple. simple and... easy.”

you didn’t buy it, but you didn’t press him further. the hesitation in his voice, the way his gaze avoided yours, told you everything you needed to know. he was hiding something, something deep, something that made his heart race whenever you got too close to the truth.

but what? what was it?

for a moment, the silence stretched between you again, and you found yourself leaning back slightly, letting the words settle in the air. you studied beomgyu carefully, noticing how his posture had changed—how his shoulders were tense, how his hands were gripping the fabric of his pants like he was trying to ground himself.

“i just... don’t want to mess it up, okay?” beomgyu’s voice cracked on the last word, and you saw his eyes flicker to yours for the briefest moment before he looked away again, his face flushed in a way that made you feel both confused and oddly warm.

you stared at him, trying to process everything that had just happened. beomgyu wasn’t saying it—he wasn’t giving you the straightforward answer you were hoping for—but his emotions were clear. the way he was avoiding your gaze, the way his heart raced every time you got close to asking, and how his words came out jagged and unsure... it all pointed to something he wasn’t ready to admit.

but deep down, you could feel it—he genuinely cared. you just had to wait. you just had to be patient with him. with the way he held back, with the way he tried to guard his feelings so fiercely, it was clear that he needed time.

"beomgyu," you whispered, your voice softer now, as you took a small step closer to him. "it's okay. you don't have to say it if you're not ready. i... i'm sorry for pushing you too hard."

he finally turned to you then, his eyes meeting yours in a silent exchange that spoke volumes. and though he didn’t say it, the unspoken words hung between you like a promise—one he wasn’t ready to make, but one that you knew, deep down, he was already thinking.

[dawngyu]

OKAY, NINA. YOU KNOW HOW I patiently waited for this like the good girl I am… RIGHT??

BUT 26K. LIKE, WOW. OKAY. (I’M LIVING FOR THIS DAY BECAUSE OF IT, BUT THOSE TAGS? THEY’RE GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS.)

spoilers under the cut!

The first few paragraphs? UGH. I adore how you wrote them. Her inner monologue?? I’m such a sucker for that because it explains so much and sets the perfect mood—and you NAILED it. Wowowow. The way she’s torn between Beomgyu and Soobin… I know you planted those seeds back in Part 1, but girl, you reaped them beautifully here. You’re insanely talented—I swear, I need to kiss you.

And the dialogues—I love how you bring out each character’s personality just through how they speak. Her longing for Soobin?? My GOD. I’m on the verge of sobbing.

“I think so. If not, then I’ll be at Soobin’s place.”

For the first time, Beomgyu has the decency to not make a face when you bring up Soobin. Instead, he looks away and lets out a heavy exhale. Well, improvement is improvement. You’ll take it.

“Who else will be there?” he asks.

“Some of his friends.” You see him tense a bit at your side from the information. A slight unease fills you, but you don’t let it consume your mood. Tonight will be fun. You can’t let anything ruin it already.

“Are they all guys?”

You pause for a second in thought. “I’m not sure.”

He looks down and shakes his head in disbelief. “So you’re going to his place with a bunch of random guys?”

OKAY—this scene was such an eye-opener for who Beomgyu really is. I’ve dated a guy like this before… and let me tell you, it did not end well. (We dated—like, full-on dated. And here? They’re not even official yet. But I’m trying to adjust my lens because it’s GYU??? Sick behavior.)

AHHH, THE SCENES WITH TAEHYUN, KAI, AND SOOBIN. (SOOBIN IS GIVING ME BUTTERFLIES.) My heart twists every time with Soobin. The fact that he wants her to be his before kissing her? A label. A clear signal. His integrity… honestly, it’s making me feel so small.

“Don’t worry about it. You could take a year if you need.” His words are so effortless, and he really means it, which pushes your heart further towards a path alongside him.

IM GONNA CRY???

“You want me to change? You want me to be more like him?” he asks. There’s something unhinged in his expression. It’s like he’s losing his grip on his sanity. Fear creeps up your spine, but it doesn’t overshadow your frustration.

OKAY, BEOMGYU?? NINA?? I SCREAMED. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F. The manipulation—I can’t. He knows he can’t win her heart yet… so he tries to get to her physically. AND THE SMUT?? HELLO?? It has me in a chokehold—I don’t even know if I’m breathing right now…

OKAY, YEONJUN CAME IN STRONG HERE. But honestly, I’m glad he told her what Beomgyu’s been saying behind her back. A guy who kisses and tells… sighs deeply I’m unwell. The confrontation is inevitable at this point, and is it safe to say I’m crying now? Because you’re starting to crush my heart.

GOD. YOUR WRITING. I HATE THAT I LOVE U.

The manipulation Beomgyu’s pulling—UGHHH ASJDHASDG. I fear it would work on me… banging my head against the wall.

Somehow, Beomgyu becomes the only person you don’t feel guilty being around. When you’re with Soobin, you feel guilty for what you’ve done with Beomgyu. When you’re with Chaewon, you feel guilty for not taking her advice and controlling your life more. With Beomgyu, you don’t have to feel guilty, as long as you don’t let yourself think too hard.

OH NO. I see it now… THE FACT THAT HER PHONE WENT MISSING?? AUSDGHUAISGD. I’m officially starting to have trust issues too. This just proves how deep and immersed I am in your writing.

He drops to his knees as a sob escapes him. Unintelligible pleading escapes his lips, but you can’t allow it into your mind. If you stay here a second longer, he’s going to find your soft spots and attack. Adrenaline forces you to start moving.

THIS. OMG. I’M AFRAID THIS MIGHT WORK ON ME TOO. I’m so sorry. (God… the writing. Again.)

And honestly, I feel for the reader. Sometimes, when you really want someone and the path to them feels impossible, it’s so easy to fall for someone else’s manipulation—because it seems easier. But deep down, it’s not. Ugh, I don’t know. I’m so conflicted.

“He fell for you?” he fills in. “I can see why.” He brushes your hair back. Even now, his smile is pure and soft.

i’m crying… completely lost for words. you’ve absolutely shattered my heart. don’t think I’ll be able to process this for at least three business days.

He steps back. “I’m glad I knew you. You’re the best thing this city has to offer.”

:((((( (kms)

I honestly don’t even know how I managed to finish this… Maybe it’s the tissues piling up on my desk from wiping my eyes that got me through. I love it. I love how you, time and time again, differentiated Soobin and Beomgyu—their positives, their flaws. The way you balanced it all was perfect. And the way you ended it? I have to say, you’re such a brave writer for choosing that path. Because at the end of the day, THIS IS YOUR FIC.

I’m truly honored to have had the chance to read this masterpiece—and even more honored to call you my friend.

I can’t wait to see what else you’ll bring. I love you ninaaa. xxx

PS: you deserve an award for writing this, really.

cold, cursed city (part 2)

summary: You wish your best friend would just leave your budding relationship alone.

pairings: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader

word count: 26k

tags: ANGST, smut (MDNI), best friend and roommate!beomgyu, crush!soobin, possessiveness, manipulation, arguments, very bad reckless dumb decisions, codependency, beomgyu gets a bit crazy

smut tags: multiple smut scenes yet again sigh, switch!gyu, switch!reader, handjob, masturbation, fingering, squirting lollll, praise, degradation, pet names (puppy, baby, etc), overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, mind breaking kinda, utilization of a mirror, some pussy slapping, dubcon!! please beware!

notes: the smut here is so depravedddjshjshdjdjhs 😭 mind the angst in all caps btw… don’t get too mad at me LMAO. this is the final part btw! enjoyyyy<3

Being home feels so awkward now. You feel like you have to avoid Beomgyu, and that’s something you never would have imagined. You wonder if there’s any going back now in your friendship. Will it ever be normal again? It will take some time, you think, but you don’t doubt it. You can’t doubt it. It’s just that you need some time right now.

A part of you is thankful that he leaves you alone. It reprieves you of the constant guilt you were battling with, and you can talk to Soobin without feeling like a liar. Another part of you is terrified that he’s leaving you alone. It’s so unlike him to not be clingy and talkative. You wonder what he’s been going through these past few days.

You don’t even eat dinner together anymore. When you get home from work, you grab something quick to eat and go to your room as soon as you’re finished. The only times you’ve seen Beomgyu since your last conversation is in passing, when you see his figure walk down the hall or pop back into his room.

You really hope he’s okay. You can’t stand to dwell on it too much, obsessing over how he might be dealing with this. Maybe it’s been easy for him. Honestly, he probably needed this too. He must have been going insane the same way you were in his attempts to keep you to himself.

But you do miss him. You miss him when you’re sitting at the table, staring at an empty chair across from you. You miss him when you’re wiping off your makeup, looking for his presence behind you in the mirror. You miss him when you’re laying in bed, watching a movie on your laptop all alone. You miss him a lot.

You’re getting ready for work, staring blankly at yourself in the mirror as you fix your hair. You don’t really have anything to look forward to today. You’re not seeing Soobin after work, Chaewon’s been busy all week, and Beomgyu’s not talking to you. Maybe you’ll invite one of your other friends to hang out later. You hate feeling so lonely.

You grab your purse and head to the kitchen, opening a breakfast bar to eat before you put on your jacket and shoes. You’re about to head out, but a small bright-colored paper on your fridge catches your attention. That wasn’t there last night. You step closer to the fridge and lean in to read the post-it note.

Won’t be back till late tonight. Also eat up the fruits they’re gonna go bad!

Huh, you wonder why he didn’t just text you that. You take the note off the fridge and fold it neatly into your pocket. Your hand is wrapped around it for the whole duration of your walk to work.

When you get back home, you already know what you’ll eat for dinner. You feel a little happier than you have been the past few days as you bite down on the fruits, feeling giddy at the smallest hint of reconnection with Beomgyu. Not talking to him for so long was taking a toll on you.

After you finish cleaning up, you decide to write Beomgyu a note too.

Fruit is all done. Mission accomplished

With a satisfied smile, you stick the post-it on the same spot Beomgyu put his. Maybe a part of you hopes he’ll hang onto it the same way you did with his.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Beomgyu normally isn’t awake when you leave for work; today, he is. You stop in your tracks for a second when you see him sitting at the table, resting his head on his arms. You consider stepping into the bathroom to give him time to run off to his room, but decide against it when he looks at you with brightened eyes.

“Good morning,” he says when you finally enter the kitchen. You give him a small smile.

“You’re up early,” you note as you grab something quick for breakfast. You keep your distance, standing at the counter even if you yearn to leap into the seat across from him.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he explains simply.

“About what?” You keep your guard up.

“Anything,” he says. “I just miss talking to you.” Your standoffish demeanor melts, and your eyes soften. You know how he feels.

“Me too.” You finally move into your seat, excited to finally see something besides an empty chair when you eat here. “What have you been up to recently?”

He shrugs. “Playing games. Sitting in my room. Working. What about you?”

“Pretty much nothing,” you answer. While a part of the conversation does feel weird, seeing as you’re trying to reconnect with your literal best friend, it doesn’t feel stiff or awkward. You’re more happy than anything to hear his voice again. It’s been a long few days.

“We need to do more with our lives,” Beomgyu laughs. It feels good to see a smile on his face again.

“No literally, my screen time this week is embarrassing. Netflix has seen me more than you have in the past five days.” You mean it as a lighthearted joke, but Beomgyu only frowns a little at that. He looks away for a few seconds, then back at you with a gleam in his eyes.

“Why don’t we do a movie night tonight then?” he offers. You light up at his suggestion.

“Yes! I’ll pick up some take-out for dinner too.” You clasp your hands in excitement. A semblance of normalcy is coming back to you, and it tastes so sweet.

“I’m so happy,” Beomgyu says, and it shows on his face. You resist the urge to pat his head at how cute he is.

“Me too.” You get up from your chair and throw out your trash. “I’ve gotta head out now,” you announce, looking at the time.

“Okay, have fun at work!” You feel his stare on you as you gather all your things and move towards the door.

“Thanks, I’ll try,” you say before heading out.

Work feels less stressful today. You don’t feel as frustrated at your little mistakes as you have been recently. You talk to your coworkers a little more than usual at lunch, and you even offer to help on an overdue project for the company, feeling more generous than usual.

As you walk back home, take-out bag in hand, you find yourself feeling foolish for ever worrying that you and Beomgyu couldn’t go back to normal. It was so easy to fall back into this, it’s as if it was second nature. As long as Beomgyu knows not to cross the line, this night will prove that you made the right choice. See, you can have both Soobin and Beomgyu in your life.

Your phone buzzes, and you fish it out of your pocket to check the notification. It’s a text from Soobin.

[Soobin] Hey, if you’re not busy do you want to grab dinner?

You pout, hating to have to reject him.

Omg I literally just got food :(

[Soobin] That’s okay!

[Soobin] There’s always tomorrow

Your cheeks hurt from how hard you’re smiling. Today is going so well, you almost can’t believe it. Finally, finally you get a day like this, where the world is kind to you again. Suddenly you find yourself more grateful for all the people you have in your life.

Tomorrow it is then!!

Beomgyu’s already sitting on the couch when you enter your apartment. You quickly take off your shoes and jacket so you can dash to your spot next to him, placing the take-out bag on the table in front of you.

“Hiii,” you greet while pulling a blanket into your lap.

“You’re finally back,” he says, smiling. You get yourself cozy as Beomgyu rips open the take-out bag, pulling out all the food.

“Yeah, I stayed a little longer to help with a few extra things.” You grab the remote to start scrolling through movie options. “What do you feel like watching?”

Beomgyu hums in thought. “Something scary?”

“That’s more for autumn, though,” you say. You start scrolling through some comedy movies instead. Those are always fun to watch with Beomgyu.

“Why’d you ask me what I want to watch then?” he laughs. You hold back your smile and whack his shoulder with the remote. He pouts at you in faux hurt as he places a hand over the impacted spot.

“Same reason you ask me what I want for dinner.” You scroll past a bunch of movies, trying to find one you haven’t seen that actually looks interesting. It’s a difficult task when you and Beomgyu have already watched so many movies together.

“It’s gonna take longer to find a movie than it is to watch one,” Beomgyu complains through a mouthful of food.

“Ew, finish chewing.” You keep your eyes on the screen, but you see him snicker in your peripheral. You finally land on a movie that sounds compelling, turning to Beomgyu to gauge his reaction.

He nods. “This one’s good.” You click on it and turn up the volume, then abandon the remote in favor of grabbing some food.

It feels just like a movie night a month ago would have felt. You fill the air with laughter and banter, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The only difference this time is that when you finish eating, you don’t cuddle into Beomgyu’s side. You have to be more mindful of keeping space between you now.

You laugh so hard at one point that you have to pause the movie to catch your breath and wipe your tears. “Oh my god, this was so needed,” you say to Beomgyu, still fighting off the last of your laughter.

“It literally was,” he agrees. “The past few days were legit the worst of my life.”

Your laughter finally dies when you hear that. “The worst? Why?”

Beomgyu laughs a little, but it doesn’t sound genuine. “I was scared that you hated me now.”

You turn your head to Beomgyu, but he doesn’t look back at you. God, did he seriously think that? You would never hate him. A weight falls onto your shoulders, and your heart aches.

“Well, don’t think like that ever again,” you say. He finally looks at you. You channel all your sincerity into your gaze. “Even if I’m mad at you, I still love you. You’re my best friend.”

It takes a second for him to react. He gives you a small smile that looks awfully forced, then looks down at his lap. “I love you too,” he says. You don’t want to ruminate on how weird that felt, so you take the remote to resume the movie.

“Back to watching,” you say, leaning back into the couch.

Once you finish the movie, Beomgyu helps you clean the mess on the table, and the light mood persists. You’re glad that you didn’t ruin your friendship with Beomgyu, cause you only feel this comfortable and at ease with a select few people. When you go to bed, you almost cry thinking about your day. You knew that you were having a hard time, but you didn’t realize how hard it was until you got a slice of your normal life back.

A feeling aside from happiness grows in your chest too, something more reflective: you feel proud of yourself. It was hard setting your boundaries with Beomgyu, but you’re so glad you did. Even this one day serves as evidence that you made the right choice.

You can barely fall asleep because you’re so happy, but you have work tomorrow, so you force your eyes shut and wait impatiently to see what the day brings.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

“How have you been?” Soobin asks as you seat yourself in front of him. The restaurant he chose is a warm, cozy one, which is a relief. You were worried that he might pick somewhere too fancy, because you had no time to change out of your office attire.

“I’ve actually been pretty good, how about you?” You’ve been looking forward to talking to Soobin again. Ever since he asked you to be his girlfriend, you’ve been itching to feel ready for the label. You won’t force it upon yourself, but you know you’ll be there soon. You’re once again reminded of how lucky you are that Soobin’s willing to wait for you.

“I’m good too,” he answers. You love his smile, you hope he never stops giving it to you. The two of you catch up a bit on life, talking about work and friends. He seems to have been busy this week.

The food at the restaurant is great, but that’s no surprise because Soobin always knows the best places in the city. The night passes quickly, and you find yourself walking back home all too soon. He accompanies you when you ask him to walk you to your apartment. You blamed it on how late it is, but it’s actually because you want more time with him.

“Are you free on Saturday?” Soobin asks, looking at you with hopeful eyes.

“For you, yes. What do you have in mind?” You want to hold his hand so bad, but you don’t know if you’re at that stage yet. You crave the weight of his hand in your own, swinging between the two of you. You want to lean into his side and engulf yourself in the brewing romance.

“I was wondering if you’d like to meet my friends? I’ve been talking about you a lot, and I know I promised you I’d introduce them.”

You light up at that, making sure to look up at him so he sees your grin. “That would be so fun.”

You’re thrilled at the idea that he talks about you with his friends a lot. Whew. Good thing you’re already outside, cause you need the fresh air. He’s everything you could ask for in a man.

“We’d be meeting at my place if that’s okay,” he says, sounding a little shy as he brings it up. You can’t hold yourself back now—you grab his hand and squeeze it excitedly.

“Of course! I’m dying to see your home. And your friends.” You can imagine the nerdy little decorations he might have lying around his place. You’d let him ramble about each and every little trinket for hours on end if he wanted to.

You’ve arrived at your street all too soon, finding yourself wanting to slow your steps to get a little more time with Soobin. “Thank you for taking me out today,” you say as you see your apartment come into view. You stop walking so that you can fully turn your body toward him. You just want one last good look before you’re off.

“Thanks for giving me the time,” he responds. His warm, sincere words always find the right way to strike your heart.

“I’ll see you Saturday, then.” You send him a parting smile, backing up a couple steps. “Good night, Soobin.”

“Good night.”

As you walk away, you have a revelation. Your body aches to run back to him, you feel like you’re missing something and you can’t quite end the night yet. There’s something that leaves you feeling only half fulfilled. There’s something more you crave.

You wanted to kiss Soobin. Your wish is left ungranted, lips tingling with the feeling of what could have been.

Your feet pause for just a second when the realization hits you again. You wanted to kiss Soobin. You wanted to feel his arms around you, wrapped in a hug that meant more than just a hug. You wanted to hold his face in your hands, feel the warmth of his skin beneath your palms. You wanted to kiss him.

Oh, your poor heart. Where do you store all this longing?

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Saturday comes faster than you anticipate. You change into outfit after outfit, trying to find the perfect thing to wear. You don’t want to over dress, but you don’t want to look like you don’t care at all either. What do you even wear to a get together for a friend group you don’t know?

You settle on a cute dress that you bought while shopping with Chaewon some time ago. It’s modest enough to wear casually, but pretty enough to make you feel confident in it. You’ll have to wear tights to save your legs from the cold, but that’s okay. You move to your vanity so you can do your hair, looking at yourself in every angle in the mirror.

“Where are you headed?” The sudden voice startles you, and you turn around to see Beomgyu standing by your door. You didn’t even notice him enter your room. You wonder how long he’s been there.

You look back in the mirror, fixing your hair. “Just meeting some people,” you answer. Beomgyu steps closer to you, only stopping once there’s just a few inches separating you. You look at him through the mirror. His eyes trail down your body.

“Well, you look pretty.” He fixes the strap of your dress on your shoulder.

Your face heats up, and you forget what you were about to do. “Thank you.”

His hand trails down your arm and stops at your elbow, rubbing your skin. “Won’t you be cold?”

“I have a jacket. Plus, I’ll be indoors,” you answer.

He hums and nods. “Are you coming back tonight?”

“I think so. If not, then I’ll be at Soobin’s place.”

For the first time, Beomgyu has the decency to not make a face when you bring up Soobin. Instead, he looks away and lets out a heavy exhale. Well, improvement is improvement. You’ll take it.

“Who else will be there?” he asks.

“Some of his friends.” You see him tense a bit at your side from the information. A slight unease fills you, but you don’t let it consume your mood. Tonight will be fun. You can’t let anything ruin it already.

“Are they all guys?”

You pause for a second in thought. “I’m not sure.”

He looks down and shakes his head in disbelief. “So you’re going to his place with a bunch of random guys?”

You pucker your lips and look down, feeling like you’re getting scolded. Was this a bad decision? Maybe you should have done this at a public place. Beomgyu’s words worry you. Soobin’s not that kind of guy, though, and you’re sure his friends are just as great as he is. He’s thoughtful and always concerned about your feelings. You shouldn’t be nervous.

“I trust him,” you say, making Beomgyu scoff. “Gyu, please.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just… worried.” He meets your eyes in the mirror. He really does look worried. You realize that maybe it’s not selfishness driving his words this time, not the need to keep you to himself, but the need to make sure you’re safe. Your heart softens at that.

“I’ll be okay,” you promise, giving him a small smile. “I’ll call you if anything goes wrong.” He nods and stays quiet for a second.

“Where does he live?” Beomgyu asks. You freeze at his question, but he’s quick to explain, “So I know where to go if something happens.”

He means well, you’re sure, but you’re still wary about giving him Soobin’s address. Of course you understand his concern, but another part of you wonders what he’ll do with it if nothing happens. He doesn’t exactly have a great streak with Soobin.

Is this you being paranoid? You feel like you have a legitimate reason to be cautious, but you also feel bad for thinking about your best friend like he’s some freak that’ll show up to Soobin’s house for no reason.

“I’ll just share my location if it comes to that.” You hope he doesn’t feel offended.

“Let me walk you to his place at least,” Beomgyu pleads. You sigh, trying not to look at him and focusing on your appearance instead.

“Don’t be so worried. I’ll be back by ten. Does that make you happier?”

He doesn’t hide his smile. “You know it does. You should watch me play League when you get back.”

You roll your eyes. “Watch you get it on with your one true love?”

“Weirdo. I love more things than just League.”

“Like Overwatch?” That earns you a smack to the back of your head. “Hey! Careful with my hair!”

You catch a glimpse of the time when your phone lights up, and you realize you’ve been taking too long to get ready. Why does time only fly in the most inconvenient moments? You take one final glance at yourself, ignoring Beomgyu’s frame in the mirror beside you.

“You sure you don’t need me to walk you there?” Beomgyu asks. You turn to him with a smile, and it takes a surprising amount of effort to not go up and loop your hands around his neck. You can’t help but feel endeared by his cuteness. You stay quiet for a few seconds just to look into his eyes.

“I’m sure,” you finally answer. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” Beomgyu sits on your bed, and you wonder if that’s where he plans on staying while you’re out.

“Be safe,” he says as you’re heading out of your room.

You look over your shoulder with a grin. “No promises!” The flash of fear on his face makes you laugh. “I’m just kidding!”

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You gather your breath as you stand before Soobin’s door, not wanting to knock until you’ve fully collected yourself. Your heart races in anticipation—well, also because you walked twice as fast as usual to get here, but mostly anticipation. Soobin seemed to get along with your friends, so you can assume that his friends should get along just fine with you too.

Finally, you tap your knuckles against the door, swaying on your feet as you wait for Soobin to emerge. It’s cold outside, the kind of cold where your breath fogs up with even the tiniest exhale, so you hope he’s quick to answer your knock.

You give Soobin a hug as soon as he opens the door. Part of it is to feed off some of his warmth, but most of it is because you’re excited to see him. His arms wrap around you to hold you close to him, and he doesn’t let go until you do.

“Are your friends here yet?” you ask when you pull away.

“Yes, they’re in the living room,” he answers. “Did you want a drink or anything?”

You shake your head. You’re too impatient to see his friends, wondering what kind of people he hangs out with. You follow him into the living room, and your eyes immediately fall on the two boys on the couch. It makes sense that his friend group is on the smaller side. They must be very close.

You wave and introduce yourself to his friends cheerfully. They do the same, and you learn that his friends are named Taehyun and Kai. Kai seems just as shy and endearingly awkward as Soobin, but Taehyun is pretty quick to open up to you. You find yourself talking to him a lot. You’re glad that you’re not the only chatty person here.

“So how’d you guys meet?” you eventually ask them, interested in how their friend group formed. The question makes Kai and Soobin laugh.

“I was friends with both of them before they knew each other,” Taehyun starts, leaning forward as he tells the story. “I had this match I wanted them to watch”—

“Match?” you interrupt, tilting your head.

“Yeah, I was really into boxing at the time.”

Your eyebrows shoot up at the information. That explains his muscular physique. You can’t imagine Soobin watching a boxing match, though. “Oh, boxing, wow.”

“Obviously I won the match, but that’s beside the point.”

“You did not win,” Soobin chimes in with an incredulous laugh.

“Yes I did! I literally won by knockout!” Taehyun defends.

“I still feel like the other guy got way more hits in than you,” Soobin says.

“I think you’re just still mad from what happened that night.” That piques your interest.

“Why? What happened?” you ask.

“He’s gonna tell it way more dramatically than it was,” Soobin warns.

“That’s probably true,” Kai chimes in.

“I’ll say exactly what happened,” Taehyun starts. “After my match, I went to Soobin and Kai, and we all got to talking. Eventually, I brought them to the practice rooms so I could show them some basic MMA moves.”

“After basically forcing us to!” Soobin exclaims. “I tried to say no!”

Taehyun starts laughing already, seemingly caught up in the memory. It puts a smile on your face as you wait for him to finish the story. “These guys start swinging with the weakest moves I’ve seen in my life,” he says through his laughter. “And I was trying to motivate them, but when I pushed the sandbag so it would swing toward Soobin, it hit him so hard it knocked him over.”

You cover your mouth with your hands, concealing your amusement and looking towards Soobin to gauge his reaction to the story. He wears a sheepish smile and leans his head down, rubbing his arm to ease his embarrassment. Taehyun’s still laughing his ass off when you look back at him.

Kai stands to Soobin’s defense, “He didn’t really get knocked over, he just stumbled back.”

“He did more than stumble back,” Taehyun says. “He had his arms swinging in circles to save himself and everything.” That image gets a chuckle out of you.

“So upon my first impression of Soobin, I could tell he was on the unathletic side. I kind of am too, though,” Kai says.

“Don’t worry, Soobin. I don’t think I’d fare any better in the MMA world,” you say.

“We can be the world class losers of boxing instead,” he jokes.

The night lives on with lots of laughter and snacks. You start playing card games at one point, to which they have to extensively explain the rules first, and you end up having more fun than you expected to have. Turns out you’re not too shabby of a Spades player.

Taehyun and Kai head out after a couple hours, saying goodbye to you and telling you that they hope to see you again soon. You actually enjoyed yourself a lot today, so you wouldn’t mind seeing them again either.

Once Soobin’s friends are out the door, it leaves just the two of you in his living room. You see Soobin yawning and stretching out in his chair. “Are you tired?” you ask. His sleepy nod makes you laugh a little.

“You can sleep on my bed if you want. I’ll take the couch,” Soobin offers. What a sweetheart. You must be smiling so stupidly, but you can’t help it. Your heart is a fickle thing.

“Thank you, but I promised Beomgyu I’d come back home tonight,” you say.

Soobin looks out the window. “It’s so dark out, though. And it’s freezing, your jacket won’t be enough. Your legs will be ice.”

“It’s okay, I’m good at handling the cold.” You aren’t really, but you don’t want him to worry. He frowns, looking down at your outfit.

“You didn’t have to dress up for me. I think you look pretty in everything. I’d love for you to dress warmly next time.” There’s a distinct hammering in your chest now. His compliment makes you weak in the knees.

He grabs your coat and delivers it to you. You thank him as you put it on, zipping it all the way up to prepare for the cold. You smile up at him in hopes that it eases his worries.

“Let me grab you a winter hat,” Soobin says, disappearing for a minute. He emerges once more with a beanie in hand, placing it on your head for you. “There. To keep your ears warm.”

“Thank you,” you say, looking down at yourself shyly. You’re not the type to get all flustered and quiet, but something about Soobin brings it out of you.

“Thanks for seeing me, and for meeting my friends.” You meet his eyes again when he says that.

“Of course. Today was fun,” you say. You stare at each other for a few long seconds as you linger by his door. You don’t really want to leave.

Soobin is every bit as handsome as ever, and suddenly it’s killing you that you’re not all over him. You want to grab his shoulders and pull him close, let your souls intertwine for just a few moments. You want to feel his breath on your face, you want his eyes on your lips and a yearning to stir inside him.

Your heart jumps, every thought in your head is filled with something about kissing Soobin. You’re so easily reduced to instincts when your mind is clouded like this. Your face is pulled by some unknown force closer and closer toward his face. Your eyelids flutter, and you tilt your head just slightly.

All to meet nothing.

“Not yet…” Soobin says, slowly retracting his face. You watch him back away from you, and the inches start to feel like miles. A sense of humiliation washes over you. Your face heats up. Why did you do that?

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking up at him apologetically. At least he doesn’t seem mad or upset—that would kill you.

He shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t be.” He presses his lips to your forehead. You reach for his hand, holding it so that you know he won’t try to leave. He accepts your touch easily, lacing your fingers together and staring into your eyes. There’s a warmth in there that makes you want to lean in and try to kiss him again, but your humility saves you from that.

“Can I ask, when will you be ready?” Your voice is meek, and a part of you almost fears his answer.

“Whenever you’re ready to call me your boyfriend,” he answers softly, simply. You nod, considering his words. Your gaze must be distant because you’re so deep in your thoughts, wondering if maybe you are ready now.

Does your heart stop at the idea of calling him yours because it entices you, or because it scares you? You don’t want to waste Soobin’s time standing here to contemplate it; you know you’re going to need more than a couple minutes to figure this out. No matter how much you want to, you can’t act on impulse with him—you want to foster a love that’s true and natural.

“I think I’ll have that answer soon,” you say.

“Don’t worry about it. You could take a year if you need.” His words are so effortless, and he really means it, which pushes your heart further towards a path alongside him.

“I’ll see you soon,” you say, blinking up at him sweetly with a small smile.

He squeezes your hands. “Soon can’t come soon enough.”

You giggle, then stand on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. “As a goodbye present.” His blushing cheeks at your action serve as a goodbye present for you.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Something changed last night. Your mind can’t stray from Soobin for too long, wondering when you’ll see him next, what he’s doing right now, how his day has been. You feel a yearning unlike any kind you’ve felt before. Your girlish heart has become something weak, so prone to go haywire at the slightest thought of him.

More than anything else, you think of calling him yours. You think of how you’d be able to spend the night at his place, cuddling up to him and falling asleep in his arms. You think of how you could stare into his eyes and call him your boyfriend. You could lean in and kiss him whenever you wanted, you could let him call you sweet pet names.

You think you might be ready. You want to be Soobin’s girlfriend.

You’re freaking out, body buzzing as you pace around your room, waiting for Chaewon to pick up the phone.

“Heyyyyy,” her voice greets through the phone, and you finally stop pacing to focus on talking.

“I got huge Soobin news,” you say, getting straight to the point.

“Tell me!!!” she screeches.

“I think I’m gonna ask him to be my boyfriend next time I see him.” That earns you an even higher pitched screech.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m so excited! Oh my god. What happened?”

“I literally just can’t stop thinking about being in a relationship with him. It feels like I’m going through withdrawals whenever I’m not with him. He’s been wanting to put a label on us, but I’ve been pushing it off till now,” you explain.

“I’m so invested in this. You would be the cutest couple ever. I will gladly be your third wheel and take all your cute Instagram photos for you,” she rambles.

“So you think it’s a good idea?” Her approval is important to you, and you’re desperate for her to give you a little more confidence in this.

“Yes, do it. As long as you make me your maid of honor.”

You laugh, so relieved that Chaewon supports you in this. You hope Beomgyu takes it just as well, but of course that’s wishful thinking.

“What’s the right way to ask him? Should I be casual or go all out with some extravagant date night?” you ask.

“Come on, it’s you we’re talking about. Obviously you’re gonna go crazy with it.” You laugh because she’s totally right.

“I’m thinking a hotel by the sea and a rose petal path to the bed. And candles, like so many it’s a fire hazard.”

“Yes, and then those eat me panties,” she adds. You burst out laughing at the idea. “Body oil too probably.”

“Oh, you got the whole vision. You want me to record it for you too?” you tease.

“No need, I’ll be hiding in your suite’s closet.”

“Thrilling. I finally get to help you live out your voyeuristic dreams.”

“Right? It’s a win-win,” she says. “But anyway, how do you think Beomgyu’s gonna react?”

You hum in thought. “I don’t know, but we’ve pretty much gone back to normal over the past few days. He didn’t put up a huge fight when I went to Soobin’s last night.”

“Girl, hold up. You went to Soobin’s place?!”

“Yep.”

She’s quiet for a second. “Did he rock your world?” You smile and roll your eyes.

“We didn’t have sex, I just met his friends. They were very nice, by the way.”

She tsks. “I’m so mad, you missed out on such a perfect opportunity to sex him up.”

“Well, I’ll let you know when that happens.”

“Please do.”

“Anyway,” you say, getting back on track. “I’ll tell Beomgyu when he gets back from work. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it if he gets all annoying about it. It’s actually pissing me off just imagining it.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not his life. You don’t even have to tell him,” Chaewon reasons.

“I mean, he’s my best friend, he should know. You and him are the two people I talk to about everything.”

“Yeah, but at this point you should be more focused on protecting your peace. What Beomgyu doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

You know that Beomgyu would find out eventually, though, and then he’d be even more mad at you for not saying something sooner. Any peace you’d have would be very temporary and delicate.

Chaewon starts up again, “I honestly think you should tell him after you make things official. That way he can’t stop you from doing it.”

You hold back a groan, not wanting to weigh out the options. “He’ll be so upset if I don’t tell him first,” you say.

“Still. He knows he can make you halt those plans, and I don’t want you getting hurt again.” You frown, but it softens you to hear how much Chaewon cares about your feelings.

“I’ve got a few hours until he comes back to decide,” you say.

“Just know that I’m one hundred percent team ‘don’t tell him’. Up to you, though.”

“I’ll let you know. Anyway, I’m gonna go now. Going to rehearse this conversation in my head.” Chaewon laughs and says her goodbye, then you hang up.

You drop onto your bed with a sigh. You hope Beomgyu can keep being normal about Soobin, and a part of you really thinks he can, but what if he hates you after this? He might decide he doesn’t want anything to do with you if you’re going to be in a relationship with a guy that he hates. (Hates for no reason, but that’s not something you choose to dwell on today.)

Beomgyu should understand why you want a love life. You crave a second half, someone who will mold you into a better person and navigate the rest of your life with you. Soobin can soften your rough edges. He’s got all the patience and goodness of heart that you need in someone. You want to know that a kind of love exists that you have not yet felt, something deeper and more colorful than anything you know. You want Soobin’s eyes to melt you each time you look into them, each time you think of them. Your heart has grown tired of just being a beating thing; it needs to be lit aflame, to burn for someone, to love so hard it doesn’t fear ruin.

Do you need Beomgyu’s permission for that? Is it as if he’s some guard to your heart? No, but the threat of conflict from his disapproval unnerves you. You try thinking of the best way to break the news to him.

Some long-winded explanation where you pour out your heart would probably irritate him most. You’ll have to keep yourself from going off on tangents—the more you say, the more ammunition he has against you. It’s not like you have to defend your decision to him.

If you’re too broad or dismissive about it, he’ll assume you don’t care or you’re hiding something. His accusations peeve you like nothing else, so the more you can avoid that, the better.

Realistically, his reaction doesn’t depend on your wording, for the most part. It depends on how mature he is about you getting a boyfriend. If he can’t handle the idea, then it won’t matter how you break the news, he’ll freak out no matter what. If he can accept that you can have other men in your life, then he won’t give you a hard time about this.

All you can do is hope for the better outcome. You pray that Beomgyu has learned his lesson in maturity by now.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

When you hear Beomgyu open the door, you rush down the hall to him. You’ve spent all day considering how to have the conversation about Soobin, and you’re excited to just get it over with now. The sooner this weight falls off your shoulders, the better.

“Hiii,” you greet as you watch him take off his coat and shoes.

“Hi. You hungry?” he asks. You shake your head.

“I had lunch an hour ago.” You notice he ordered food somewhere, which he just stuffs in the fridge.

“Do you wanna hang out with me and Yeonjun tomorrow night?” he asks. “We’re gonna watch some band perform at the common.”

“Depends how I feel after work.”

“Alright. You should definitely come though.” You don’t know how to respond to that, so you just don’t. You’ve got a different conversation on your mind anyway.

After a few seconds, Beomgyu starts walking off, but you call his name to stop him before he gets too far. He looks at you expectantly, raising his eyebrows.

“I wanted to talk about something,” you say. He remains still for a second, then carefully takes a few steps closer to you.

“Bad thing or good thing?” he asks.

You hesitate for a second. “Good thing.” You’re feeling nervous again, even though you know you shouldn’t be. Beomgyu’s been fine. He’ll survive if you tell him this.

“You don’t look like it’s a good thing,” he says. He must have caught on to your anxiety. Your fidgeting hands probably gave it away. You hold them behind your back so you stop fiddling with them. You breathe in as deeply as you can without making it too obvious that you’re calming your nerves.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to ask Soobin to be my boyfriend.”

You wait for a reaction. He blinks. Is that a good sign? He’s still breathing, too. Okay, so the news didn’t kill him at least.

“You’re asking him to be your boyfriend?” he repeats, as if he didn’t hear you right the first time.

Fuck, why is your heart pounding so hard? “Yes.”

He sighs and averts his gaze, looking around for a few awkward seconds. You tighten your lips, not really knowing what to do now.

“Your boyfriend?” he asks again.

You give him a curt nod. “Yep.”

You see it flash in his eyes then, something that brings you back to all those times he made your life so difficult. He doesn’t even need to say anything for you to start feeling disappointed, that expression was more than enough.

“I tried backing off, but I just can’t do it anymore. You can’t do this,” he insists. Your head is going to explode. Not this again. Things were going so well.

“Stop. I don’t want to hear it,” you say, but you know he won’t listen.

“I can’t stand it. I hate thinking about how much you like him, how you kiss him, how he’s doing everything I could be doing,” he rambles.

“I’m not hearing this,” you dismiss as you start walking down the hall to your room. You feel Beomgyu’s presence loom behind you. He sure is determined. “Knock it off, Gyu.”

He pushes the door open when you try to close it, stepping in and facing your hard stare. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t back off. You feel inclined to be stubborn and stand your ground too.

“You want me to change? You want me to be more like him?” he asks. There’s something unhinged in his expression. It’s like he’s losing his grip on his sanity. Fear creeps up your spine, but it doesn’t overshadow your frustration.

“No, I like you the way you are,” you answer.

“No you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t need Soobin.” He sounds angry, you must have really bothered him this time. That’s okay. You’ll take this over his pity parties. It’s easier to fight fire with fire.

“I don’t need Soobin, I just like him,” you say.

“Then what’s wrong with me?” he counters. He’s really worked up this time, frustration radiating off of him.

“Nothing! You need to stop with this!” you exclaim. You’ve never had an argument like this with him, fueled by rage and nothing else. There’s no undertones of sadness or attempts to remain calm this time.

“Just tell me you hate me,” he says, stepping closer to you, invading your space. You meet his gaze, unwavering, even if you have to tilt your head up to challenge his stare.

“I don’t fucking hate you.” You cross your arms, not letting your guard down.

“Then prove it,” he says. You wonder if your eyes hold as much fire as his do right now. You refuse to back down. You refuse to lose this. He wants you to prove you don’t hate him? Fine.

You don’t let yourself think about it as you crash your lips onto his. You hold his head still, but it’s not like he was going to run away. He meets your lips with equal amounts passion and frustration. The kiss is nothing friendly or nice—it’s not soft and slow, not sweet, not the dreamlike kiss you’ve been waiting to have with Soobin. This feels less like a kiss and more like war.

You don’t hold yourself back, sucking and biting at his lips carelessly. Your fingers are pulling so hard at his hair that you know it has to hurt, but you don’t care. You hope it does. His hand is on your jaw, keeping you in place so he can lick into your mouth as he pleases.

You hope he tastes your anger on your lips. You hope your tongue feels bitter in his mouth, that it leaves burns in its wake. You hope this kiss will haunt him at night, that he’ll feel you lingering hours later, that he sees your face on his ceiling when he’s trying to fall asleep.

He can never settle for friendship. The simple life could have been so good if he accepted it. You were stupid to think he’d let things go back to normal and stay that way. You hate feeling so dumb. You hate being so easy.

“Is that what you fucking wanted?” you ask as you pull away from the kiss. You wipe your mouth to clear the saliva that collected there. He doesn’t answer, only pulling you in for another kiss, unforgiving and angry. Your teeth clash and he shoves his tongue into your mouth. He tangles his hands into your hair, pushing you deeper into the kiss.

You’ve never felt so angry at him in your life. You try to channel it all into the kiss, using more force than necessary. He should pay for doing this, for getting under your skin yet again.

He growls into your mouth—you guess he’s still angry too. Why should he be? You’re making out with him and no one else. If he wants to complain about that, then he must really be losing his mind.

You walk him backwards until he sits back on your bed, disconnecting your mouths so you can look down at him. His lips are swollen and coated with saliva. He’s hungry—starving—and can’t stand not touching you for even a second, so he grabs your hips and pulls you onto the bed with him.

There goes those walls you built up. There goes those weeks of putting in effort towards you and Soobin. You lose, again. Is this how it will always be with him? Was he playing the long game all along?

He knows you better than anyone. If anyone could figure out a way to set your life off course, it would be Beomgyu.

You have to get even with him. You have to stop taking everything lying down. You stare at him, who looks up at you like he’s waiting for your next move. Fucking prick. You’ll show him.

You shove his pants past his hips and pull his cock out to find him already fully hard. You’re not surprised. Precum oozes from his slit, leaking out on his tip. When you look up to see his face, he’s biting his lip in anticipation.

“Always need to have your fucking way, huh,” you say, squeezing the base of his cock. He throws his head back and moans, thrusting up into your fist. You let go of his dick to push his hips down with angry force. “Don’t you dare move.”

You spit into your hand and jerk his cock quickly, with little care as to how rough you are with him. You squeeze his length like you’re milking him, like you’re trying to get him to burst. If you can embarrass him and have him spilling all over himself in such a short amount of time, you’d feel on top of the world.

He’s thick and hot in your hand, but you don’t let it cloud your mind. You need to put him in his place. He doesn’t deserve a spot in the lustful crevices of your mind right now. This is about balancing the scale.

You keep your stare hard even as he cries and whimpers. You don’t let him see any reaction out of you, because the last thing you want is for him to take control of the situation again. At least like this, you feel like you’re not totally weak for him.

His hips jolt up and he gasps at your ministrations. He grabs onto your wrist, trying to pry you off.

“Behave,” your order, no room for compromise in your voice.

“Baby! Baby, stop, I’m gonna”—his sentence is cut off by a drawn-out moan. It’s like his body can’t decide whether to run away from your hand or rut into it.

“Fucking do it then,” you say through gritted teeth, fucking your fist over him faster. You spit onto his cock to lubricate it even more.

“No, not yet,” he pleads, breathing heavily. It’s cute watching him try to escape the feeling, but you won’t let him. You use your other hand to fondle his balls, and once you do that, he’s a goner. He’s spilling his seed onto your hand with his head thrown back and a loud cry. His hips stutter up into your fist, and his cock twitches in your hand. You feel a bit of a power high from that.

You slow down for only a few seconds before you’re pumping him wildly again. He looks at you with wide, helpless eyes. His body’s jolting with the shocks of overstimulation, and you can’t help but let out a laugh at that.

Beomgyu whimpers your name pathetically. His arms are shaking as they cling onto yours. You don’t relent, merciless as you try to coax another orgasm from him.

“It’s too much!” he cries, and you can even hear the shake in his voice.

“Take what I give you or I’ll leave,” you spit. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No! I can take it.” He pries his arms off you and keeps them at his sides, deciding he wants to be good and listen all of a sudden.

“That’s what I thought.” You twist your hand as it goes down on his length, squeezing harder. Your thumb swipes over his slit when it reaches the head of his cock. “Cum for me, dirty little puppy. Show me how filthy you are.”

As you command it, his orgasm crashes over him immediately. You watch in awe. It’s like he’s trained to follow your words. His hot cum lands on your hand yet again, and you continue jerking him until his high is over. You have to stop yourself from making him cum a third time, too addicted to his little sounds of pleasure.

“Thank you,” Beomgyu says breathlessly. You run your fingers through his hair with your clean hand.

“Looks like the dirty pup is good for something,” you coo condescendingly.

“I am good, let me show you. Sit on my face.” Before you can even respond, he’s already lying down and sticking his tongue out. You furrow your brows at his eagerness and decide to put his mouth to use a different way. Your cum-coated hand meets his tongue, and you let him lave at his mess all over you.

“Hm, guess your tongue is pretty good,” you say mindlessly as you watch him lick all his cum off you. When he finishes cleaning your hand, he sucks two of your fingers past his lips. You smirk and slowly fuck them in and out of his desperate mouth. He swirls his tongue around your digits, then licks up between them. He circles the tip of his tongue on the skin between your two fingers as if it was your clit. You wish it didn’t make your pussy throb.

You pull your fingers out of his mouth and spread them apart, admiring the strand of saliva that forms. You take off your bottoms and panties, and Beomgyu damn near starts panting in excitement.

“Yes, come sit on my face, let me taste your cunt,” he babbles, stars in his eyes. His excitement dies when your saliva-slickened fingers meet your core instead. You make sure he has a great view as you play with your pussy.

“You got me so nice and wet, thank you puppy.” Your voice is sweet, even if your motive is to torture him. You exaggerate your reactions to your touch, moaning extra loud when you circle your clit. Your other hand disappears under your shirt to play with your nipples. You bite your lip as you push your hips up into your hand.

Beomgyu sits up and watches you with a slackened jaw. He starts leaning in between your legs, and you push him away with a foot to his chest.

“Uh-uh, you can’t touch,” you tell him.

“But look! My fingers are longer and thicker than yours,” he says, holding out his hand. You roll your hips up into your hand, remembering the way his fingers felt inside you. You slip two fingers into your cunt to make up for the sudden emptiness you feel.

You fuck yourself with vigor, pistoning your fingers into you, putting on a good show for your best friend. You want him to think you’re not some weak girl who folds for his touch every time. Even though your body yearns for Beomgyu to take care of you, you have to make a point to him.

You get so lost in the feeling of your own fingers that you stop looking at Beomgyu, focusing entirely on the pleasure taking over. That was clearly a mistake, because suddenly you feel two of his fingers entering your pussy alongside your own. You cry out at the sensation, body shaking at the stretch.

It’s hard to move your hand now, but Beomgyu seems to find a way perfectly fine. “B-bad boy,” you scold, but your voice is so shaky that it holds no real bite. When he aims his fingers up, it forces your own to sit snug against your g-spot, resting there as Beomgyu jackhammers into you.

“See? Feels good,” he says. With his other hand, he rubs at your clit viciously, needing to please you more than you can please yourself. “This is so much better, right?”

Your body is buzzing, and you can’t even respond to him. Your mouth hangs open stupidly as he pulls moan after moan from you. A foreign pressure starts building inside of you, more intense than anything you’ve felt before. Your eyes widen and you try to pull your hips away, but Beomgyu’s determined.

“P-puppy, it feels different,” you manage to stutter out. His breath hitches and he connects his mouth to your inner thigh to kiss it. He doesn’t stop his ministrations—if anything, your words encourage him to go even harder.

“You’re gonna squirt for me?” he says with astonishment, and you feel his grin growing against your thigh. It’s blinding, the way the pleasure is consuming you. His hands are wild, working at you without mercy to bring you over the edge. It’s like he needs this more than you.

“I’m—nngh, oh god,” you stammer, body twitching away, but Beomgyu’s so desperate to see you fall apart that he doesn’t let you stray from the feeling for even a second. The pressure snaps and you cry out, legs kicking out as you release all over him. You feel your juices squirting out of you, and if you were in your right mind, you would’ve been embarrassed at how much seems to leak out.

Beomgyu loves it, lapping up what spills onto his wrist and your thighs. You’re shaking uncontrollably, immediately pulling your hand from your center once Beomgyu draws back. You focus more on gathering your breath after that orgasm than on Beomgyu’s tongue licking every inch of your thighs.

You flinch when his tongue finds your pussy, too sensitive to take anymore. You push his head away and sit up, snapping your legs shut. He pouts, but sits up as well.

“Was that good?” he asks, biting down a smile. He leans in like he really wants to know your answer.

You press your palms into your eyes like you’re relieving a headache. Rationality comes back to you, but there’s no point in yelling at him now. You’re the one who shoved your hand down his pants.

“You really don’t want me dating Soobin, huh?” You feel more exhausted than angry now.

“I’ll do so much worse if you make him your boyfriend,” he says.

You blink at him. Is that some kind of threat? “What do you mean?”

“Just don’t be with him and you won’t have to find out.” You don’t have it in you to fight him. If it was this easy for you to fall back on your word and get intimate with Beomgyu again, you might as well hold off on the boyfriend label anyway. Maybe you weren’t as ready as you thought you were.

“You can leave my room now,” you say, leaning your head against your pillow. You’ll probably spend the next hour contemplating everything you’ve been through in the past month. He doesn’t need to be there for that.

“Nah.” He lays down beside you. You inhale slowly, gathering the control to not push him off the mattress.

“Whatever.” You’ll just have your mini crisis with him next to you. It doesn’t even matter.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

To your surprise, you don’t feel completely miserable the next day. Of course, you go throughout the day feeling awful about ruining your chance to be with Soobin any time soon and angry at yourself for touching Beomgyu again, but besides that you’re feeling normal.

You wish your work day would have lasted a little longer—something you never thought you’d hope for—because when you get home and see Beomgyu on the couch, you’re already feeling annoyed. You were doing so good before yesterday. Seeing him is just a reminder of how much you screwed up.

He seems as giddy as he could ever be when you approach him on the couch. You grab a blanket and curl yourself into his side wordlessly, just wanting his warmth. He accepts it gratefully, throwing an arm over you and getting you comfortable.

You can’t even really feel upset. You’re familiar with this cycle already: Beomgyu will bitch about Soobin to you, you’ll get each other off, you’ll argue some more, then you’ll hang out like nothing happened. You put yourself back in this situation, so you spare yourself the pity.

“I’m so glad we’re back to this. It was killing me to not hold you all those days,” Beomgyu says before pressing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I don’t want you to be upset anymore.”

“I’m not upset,” you say flatly.

“I want you to be happy. I’m really happy now.” You only hum in acknowledgement. You don’t really have anything to say to that.

Some time passes in which you and Beomgyu watch television, except you’re mostly going on your phone and Beomgyu’s halfway to falling asleep. You get a notification from Soobin, making you freeze for a moment.

[Soobin] We should meet up tonight if you’re available :)

Beomgyu reads the text over your shoulder. “You better not say yes.” You flinch and back away from him, clutching your phone to your chest.

“Why not?” you ask.

“Cause you said you’d go with me and Yeonjun to the concert!” he whines.

“I didn’t say I was gonna go with you and Yeonjun,” you counter. The entitlement is crazy.

“I asked you first though. If you feel fine enough to hang out with Soobin, why can’t you hang out with me?” he asks.

“What have we been doing for the past hour?”

“That doesn’t count! We live with each other, we have to hang out at home.”

“Wow, ungrateful. You should thank the universe for each second you get to spend with me, home or not.”

“I do. I can show you how grateful I am too, if you want.” You roll your eyes at his suggestion.

“I think I’m okay,” you say. When you lift your phone back up, Beomgyu takes it from your hand and tosses it gently onto the floor. You watch it land a few feet away from you. You don’t feel like getting up to grab it, so you let the device stay where it is. You settle with insulting him instead, “You suck.”

“I don’t want you to hang out with him tonight,” he complains with a pout. “I want my best friend.”

“Gyu, you’ll live.” What a flair for the dramatics he has.

“Just this once, please,” he begs. “You know you’re going to feel guilty and awkward hanging out with Soobin after what we did yesterday anyway.”

Shit. You hate it when he’s right.

You sigh, “Fine.” You’re enveloped in his embrace immediately, face smushed into his chest as he cheers in victory. “This better be the best band I see perform in my life.”

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The concert is pretty mediocre. The band consists of some grungy college-aged boys who sing about being depressed and cheating on girls. Not quite your music of choice, but you enjoy your time as much as you can nonetheless.

Beomgyu’s arm stays slumped over your shoulders pretty much the entire time. For warmth reasons, you don’t complain, but it is pretty embarrassing to see Yeonjun looking at the two of you weirdly from time to time. He must be able to sense that something’s off between you.

Beomgyu splits off at some point to buy a water bottle somewhere, and you’re left alone to talk to Yeonjun. He doesn’t even spare you a glance at first, which makes you think he might be having a bad day.

“You like this band?” you ask him, breaking the silence. You’re confused why he glares at you when he finally turns his head your way.

“You like Beomgyu?” he retorts, voice filled with some weird scorn.

“Woah, what?”

“Aren’t you dating Soobin? Why are you letting Beomgyu touch you?”

You have no clue where this is coming from. Beomgyu must have been talking to Yeonjun about the things you two did together. “Did Beomgyu say something to you?”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun says. “He’s been telling me all about how you’re sleeping with him while seeing Soobin.”

That motherfucker. He’s bragging about banging you to other guys? You’re nearly seeing red, but you keep your composure so you don’t look crazy in front of Yeonjun. “Soobin and I aren’t exclusive,” you defend.

Yeonjun gives you a humorless laugh. “Would you be happy if Soobin was fucking other girls right now?”

The thought puts a bitter taste in your mouth. “I wouldn’t like it, but I”—

“Don’t lie. You’d cry your heart out.” Yeonjun levels you with a knowing stare. You meet it, unwavering, but you know he’s right.

“You don’t know the whole story. I tried putting a stop to it,” you say.

“And what? You relapsed like he’s some drug? You need to get real.”

You want to be mad, but what’s the point? You’re getting reality checked, and it burns, but maybe Yeonjun’s right.

“Beomgyu puts up a fight every time I talk about Soobin. He won’t let me be.” You feel defensive, like you have to prove you’re not totally at fault.

“So you let him down easy with some pussy?” he asks with sizable disappointment in his voice. God, this is embarrassing.

“You don’t get it.” It’s not like you didn’t say no to him before. You tried removing yourself from the room, you tried telling him this can’t happen, you tried everything except leaving him. It doesn’t work.

“I don’t have to get it. You should do better.” The conversation ends at that, his words left to linger in your mind.

You stand silently beside Yeonjun and stare blankly at the band on the stage. Time has got to move a little faster. You pray Beomgyu doesn’t take much longer getting back.

When he does come back, you don’t let him cling to you like a magnet. He looks at you a little weird for rejecting his arm around you, but he doesn’t say anything until you get in his car.

“Are you okay? You seem kinda pissed.” His question only serves to irritate you further.

“You told Yeonjun that we sleep with each other?” You don’t hide the anger from your voice. He looks at you with wide eyes. Clearly he knows he fucked up. “I never once let you put your dick in me.”

Beomgyu breathes out slowly, then pouts his lips and taps awkwardly on the steering wheel. You allow him his minute of shameful silence before starting up again, “Do you just not respect me? I doubt you told him what exactly led to this.”

He still doesn’t look at you. He can try all the cute, pitiful tactics he wants, you’re not falling for it this time.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, head down like he’s hating his life right now. Good, you hope he is.

“If you’re really sorry then you’ll stop doing anything more than platonic with me.” He looks at you with upturned brows and scared eyes. It’s as if you spoke his worst fear into reality.

“No, I’ll tell Yeonjun I lied, I promise,” he pleads.

“Why? You didn’t lie. I’m just some whore you get to brag about, right?”

“No! I lied, I was wrong, I should have never opened my mouth to Yeonjun. I’m stupid.” Ugh, you can’t take his self-pity.

“We’re never crossing that line again. I was stupid. I’m actually glad Yeonjun gave me that reality check.”

“I’m sorry. We don’t have to stop, I’ll just shut my mouth about it now,” he says.

“I don’t want to risk ruining everything anymore.” He has nothing to say to that. It’s eerily quiet for a moment. “Can you bring us home now?”

He puts the car in drive. The ride is silent the whole way home.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The longest week of your life passes by, in which you barely hang out with Beomgyu, barely see Soobin, and barely talk to anyone. You consider it to be a reset week for you, trying to detach yourself from everyone else to focus on finding out what you want. With so many complicated relationships in your life, you need plenty of time to think this through.

You spend a lot of nights considering what exactly you want from Beomgyu and Soobin. You weigh all your thoughts out and philosophize them, waiting for something to click and show you all the answers. What you learn instead is that no amount of contemplation is going to clear things up for you completely.

When looking at it honestly, your life has been a mess of ups and downs since meeting Soobin. It’s not his fault at all—actually, when you try to pin the blame on someone, the dart lands like a bullseye on your own face. And it’s not that Soobin is a bad influence on your life, making you do all these stupid things; instead, it’s that you have no willpower when it comes to Beomgyu.

So, do you end things with Soobin? You rack your brain for a smart answer, but it’s hard to even think anything after forming that sentence. A pit of emptiness forms in your chest instead, and avoiding that uncomfortable feeling is within your own self-interest.

You itch to call Chaewon more times than you can count, but you don’t let yourself give in. You want this to be something you tackle without the influence of anyone else. You already know how Chaewon would tell you to solve this, anyway.

A couple nights throughout the week, Beomgyu has knocked on your door, and neither time did you let him in. Out of everyone you know, he has the biggest influence on you. Your rational mind is thrown out the window when it comes to him. You don’t think that’s something you can stop or control.

He texts you and makes sure you’re okay, which you’re grateful for. You still eat dinner with him, and you even let yourself indulge in one movie night, but you’re trying to keep your distance so you can keep your head clear.

You’re at a mental standstill, looking down a multitude of paths that have no clear end. You could move in with Chaewon and make Soobin your boyfriend. You could end things with Soobin and see if you can go back to normal with Beomgyu. You could do nothing and give up your hand in this game.

You feel like you’re finding a new law of arithmetic trying to decide what to do next. You’re not the thinking type—clearly, as if the past couple months haven’t been proof enough—so you earn no insight and all headache from this.

Go you, trying to be independent and figure out your life on your own. Look where that got you, huddled up in your bedroom and even more depressed than before. You need a drink.

Matter of fact—

Wanna go to a bar?

You don’t even have to wait a minute for Chaewon’s response. ‘Bar’ to her is exactly what ‘squirrel’ is to dogs.

[Chaewon] You already know my answer. I’m getting ready right nowwww

No boy talk or I’m ending my shit in front of you

You need one night to just let loose and stop thinking. You’ve had enough of deliberating upon the men in your life this week.

[Chaewon] Oh you need those drinks bad

[Chaewon] Okay noted

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You don’t expect to be interrogated as soon as you open the door to your apartment the next morning, but Beomgyu’s insistent prying serves as a lovely pairing with your massive hangover.

“Where were you last night?” he asks before you can even open the door all the way. You’re too busy adjusting to how bright the room is to process his question at first. You squint to save your eyeballs as much as you can. You walk right into Beomgyu when you try to properly enter the room. He holds your waist to steady your balance. “Are you drunk?” he asks.

You shake your head and instantly regret it, since it makes it feel like your brain is sloshing around inside your skull. “Hungover.”

“You didn’t tell me you were going out,” he says. He doesn’t sound mad or accusatory, but it still irritates you because you don’t want to deal with this right now.

“Didn’t realize I had to.”

“You always do when you go out drinking,” he reasons.

You sigh, “Yeah, well, I didn’t this time.”

He scrunches your brows as he takes in your tone. “Are you mad at me or something?”

You rub your eyes. You need to bury your head under your pillow, this light is killing you, and this conversation needs to be over with. “I’m not mad at you.”

He’s quiet for a second. “I feel like you are.”

“Okay. Have fun feeling like that.” You open one of the cabinets to look for some medicine.

“See? You’re talking to me like you’re mad at me. What did I do?” All your patience leaves you at that. You don’t want to be doing this right now.

You place the pill bottle onto the counter with more force than necessary and turn around abruptly to face Beomgyu. “I’m hungover. I don’t want to talk. Take a hint.”

He blinks at you stupidly, and it just annoys you more. You scoff and turn your attention back to the medicine.

“Were you with Soobin?” he asks, breaking the ten seconds of peace and quiet he allowed you.

You groan. “Does it matter? I could have fucked Soobin last night and it still wouldn’t be any of your concern.”

“Did you fuck Soobin last night?” he asks urgently now that you planted the thought in his head. You swallow your pills in place of answering him. He holds onto your arm to stop you from leaving when you try to walk past him. “Did you??”

“What if I did? Do you think you have any right to tell me anything about it?” You didn’t, obviously, but at this point you’ll say anything to get him to stop talking.

His jaw clenches and he tightens his lips, but you don’t give a damn what displays of anger he gives you. He could pull his arm back and get ready to punch you and you still wouldn’t waver. You raise your eyebrows, waiting for his answer.

“I just—I don’t get—You’re not even…” He sure is having trouble finding his words. Some defense he’s got built up.

“Interesting.” You turn, ready to storm off to your room, but he stops you once again.

His hands stay clung to your shoulders, not even blinking as he turns you back toward him. “Please just tell me who you went out with.” He almost reeks of desperation.

You’re annoyed and you don’t owe him shit, so you don’t open your mouth to give him a response. You shrug with a straight face.

He whines and leans his head down onto your shoulder like you’ve just stabbed him in the gut. You roll your eyes. He always has to be the victim. You might just trudge to your room with him clinging onto you if he doesn’t give this up. You’ll get to your bed one way or another.

“What did I do? I’m so sorry. Why are you so mad at me?” he says, voice breaking like he’s holding back tears. He nuzzles further into your shoulder.

“Gyu, I swear, I’m just tired and my head hurts. You had nothing to do with this until five minutes ago. So please get off of me.” You push against him to try to pry him away, but he locks his arms around you. You sigh deeply, accepting his embrace because it’s not like you can run from it. You wait until enough time has passed where it’s safe for you to pull away without him freaking out.

“So you’re not mad at me?” he asks, giving you those sweet puppy eyes that you’d melt over any other time. Unfortunately, you’re still pissy and in need of rest, so you don’t coddle Beomgyu like you know he wants you to.

“No.” His lips tilt up just slightly at that. He wipes his eyes dramatically.

“Can I lay down with you then?” he asks, eyes carrying all his hope.

You shouldn’t, but you don’t want to deal with his moping if you don’t let him. “If you stay quiet and keep your distance.”

You’re already walking to your room when you hear him start complaining, “Keep my distance!?” You don’t stop to respond. Now that you have your sight on your bed, nothing could stop you from getting wrapped up in your blankets.

You fall against the mattress with a groan, smushing your head into your pillow. You register the bed dip next to you with Beomgyu’s weight, and you’re half-surprised that he allows you a respectable amount of space. A good five minutes pass in which you nearly fall asleep just listening to yours and Beomgyu’s breathing. Silence is always fleeting with Beomgyu, though, and it’s not long until he has to break it.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stop thinking about this. Did you seriously… sleep with Soobin?” Beomgyu asks in a quiet voice, words coming out hesitantly like he’s almost scared to ask.

You sigh, turning your head so you’re facing him instead of being buried in a pillow. You blink slowly, still wanting to fall asleep. He’s pouting and looks like he feels bad for even asking. Luckily for him, most of your annoyance evaporated from you the moment you laid down.

“No, I didn’t. It was just me and Chaewon,” you answer. You let your eyes flutter shut again, assuming the conversation would be over now.

Nope. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier then?” You contemplate pretending to be asleep so that you don’t have to respond anymore, but you feel his arm wrap around your waist and you have to shove it off. There goes that idea. “And why can’t I hold you anymore?” he asks.

“Because of what we talked about after the concert.” Your eyes are still closed, but you bet he does something sassy in response like roll his eyes or curl his lips down.

“Well I think that’s stupid,” he says. You open your eyes to make sure he sees it when you scowl at him.

“You’re free to leave my room if you don’t want to respect my rules.”

“Putting rules on our friendship is so ridiculous,” he argues. “We have literally always been touchy with each other. Soobin can go cry about it if he thinks there’s a problem with that. Why should we change for him?”

“It’s me who’s putting these rules down, he never told me to do anything. It’s not just because of him, either.” Your head threatens to start pounding again.

“What else would it be for?”

“Us? Do you not worry that we’ll go too far and never be able to go back?” you ask incredulously, like the reasoning should be obvious. He must not fear losing this friendship the way you do.

“No, because I know nothing could break the bond between us.”

“Hooking up does. Don’t you see how much we’ve changed already? For the worse?” He’d be blind to deny that much.

“Hooking up didn’t change us, Soobin did,” he counters. He’s not holding anything back, overflowing with audacity today.

“I would have told you to stop with or without Soobin in my life.” Because you actually care about preserving your friendship. You know that a lifetime of shared memories is better than twenty minutes of sexual gratification.

“And you think this time will be any different from the last hundred times? You keep saying this is going to end, and then it doesn’t.”

“But I mean it this time,” you say with full confidence.

“You say that every time.”

“Then how about you make it easier for me and stop trying to get with me? It might make things easier if you actually fucking respected it when I try to lay down boundaries.”

“Or you can just say no to me, unless I’m that irresistible,” he snides. Is he serious? Does he think you’ve never tried to say no?

“Fuck you.” You turn away from him, done with this conversation. He doesn’t leave your bed, but he does keep his distance. Either he’s pissed off now too, or you’ve finally convinced him to respect you. Your bet’s on the former.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You’re getting ready to go out, wanting to spend your Sunday with Soobin. You haven’t seen him in a while, and you feel like you need this to clarify things for yourself. You aren’t supposed to meet him until later today, but you’re planning on running some errands first, and you might as well get ready now so you don’t have to rush to do it later.

The sounds of you roaming around your room seem to beckon Beomgyu over. He walks up to you with a soft smile on his face. “Heading out?” he asks.

“I am,” you confirm. You stop struggling with the necklace you were trying to put on and hand it to Beomgyu instead. You might as well make use of his presence. “Can you put this on for me?” You pull your hair off your neck to make it easier for him.

He’s able to secure the clasp much faster than you. He pats your shoulder when you’re all set, and you put your hair back down.

He’s quiet for a few seconds before he speaks up again, “I’m sorry for arguing with you yesterday.” He looks bashful as the apology rolls off his tongue.

You weren’t expecting that. You guys don’t really apologize to each other over small arguments, you just move on. You turn to face him so he can see your honesty. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

He laughs. “I deserved it.”

You shake your head. “No you didn’t.”

You two smile at each other, and it’s times like this where life feels a little simpler. It’s surreal that you share your own little section of the world together, and that you still get to have these bonding moments years after meeting.

“I’m glad that I have you in my life,” you say. “Even when I’m hungover and annoyed at you.”

His response comes in the form of a giggle and a squeeze of your hand. You allow it, letting him be sentimental.

“Okay, I need to continue with my makeup now,” you say, pulling away to rummage through your products and find your eyelash curler. Beomgyu lingers behind you, just watching.

“This skirt is really cute,” Beomgyu says, pinching the fabric of it.

“Thanks, I thrifted it.” He hums and nods in response. A minute passes in which he silently observes you.

“You doll yourself up a lot when you go out with Soobin.” You slowly turn to face him, not understanding the point of his statement.

“Is that a problem?” you ask. You didn’t even tell him you were going out with Soobin.

“No. You look good.” You hum and pull out mascara from your vanity’s drawer. You lean forward as you apply it to your lashes, trying your best to ignore Beomgyu’s stare.

A part of you is admittedly confused that Beomgyu isn’t trying to stop you from leaving or fighting with you about seeing Soobin. Just now, he was actually the most collected you’ve ever seen him be when it comes to Soobin. You don’t want to jinx it, so you try to shift your thoughts somewhere else.

You and Soobin are going to the vintage market later, since you found out that you both share a love for vintage things. (For him, it’s old gaming systems and figurines, and for you, it’s clothes and home decor.) You’re thinking about trying to convince him to get dinner with you too, but that might be pushing your luck. You know he had some errands to run today too.

“Those are nice,” Beomgyu says. You don’t know what he means until you see in the mirror where he’s looking. You widen your eyes and straighten your posture immediately. Bent over the vanity like that, your panties were on full display under your skirt. And to think you were sharing a sentimental moment just a few minutes ago!

You scowl at him. “Thanks for staring, creep.” You shove your mascara back in the drawer.

“I’m sure Soobin would love them,” he says. You pause as you register his words. You’re not sure what his goal is, or why he suddenly switched up so much. You decide it’s best to not add fuel to the fire and just keep your mouth closed.

Beomgyu’s all fire though, and needs no fuel to keep going. “Your makeup’s really pretty too. You look like an angel.”

“What are you trying to do?” you ask, voice full of suspicion. Even in his tone, you can hear his ulterior motives.

He comes closer to you with a grin, leaning his head on your shoulder and locking eyes with you in the mirror. He wraps his arms around your waist, and you feel a bit overwhelmed by his presence.

“I know you worked so hard getting pretty, but I don’t really think you should go out today… It’s windy, and you’ll be so, so cold in this…” He slowly pulls the thin strap of your top off your shoulder until it falls limp around your arm. His finger lightly traces the skin he revealed.

You’re not so curious what Beomgyu’s intentions are anymore. They’re pretty easy to guess now. “I’ll be fine,” you say.

He pouts, continuing to trace little swirls onto your skin. “You’ll get sick,” he adds.

“That’s not what you actually care about,” you say.

“I do though.” He places a kiss on your neck as if to show his earnestness.

“Beomgyu—no, this is too much.” You try pushing him off, but it’s as if he doesn’t feel your efforts at all. You give up after the second attempt.

“You should stay home with me so I don’t have to worry about you all day.” He stares at your side profile and brushes your hair back. He places another tender kiss on your neck, higher up this time. You try to fight any heat rising in your body from the action.

“Stop this,” you say, but it doesn’t sound so confident with how your voice shakes. You turn your head to look him in the eye. He just smiles up at you from where his head still leans on your shoulder. You hold back a gasp when his finger stops tracing lines on your skin and hooks under your bra strap instead, just barely starting to pull that aside too.

You’re so flustered by his finger slowly inching your bra strap down that you barely notice when his lips are back on your neck, attached to your pulse point like your heartbeat was calling for him.

“Y-you told me I could say no to you,” you remind him as his lips continue their slow descent down your neck.

“Yeah, if you actually meant it.” He places one last kiss to your skin, then props his head back on your shoulder to look into your eyes through the mirror. He smiles as if he likes what he finds; you must look as confused and malleable as you feel.

“You lied,” you say quietly, as if it’s a revelation to yourself and not a response to him.

“I didn’t. I’m just obsessed with pleasing you.” He runs his hands down your sides soothingly, then prompts you to bend with a gentle hand on your back.

“Beomgyu!” you squeak, fighting against the hand that beckons you down. You hold on tight to the edge of the vanity to keep your body up.

“Stop thinking. Let me take care of you.” His voice is so soft and coaxing, and you feel a sizable sense of shame hit you when arousal oozes from your cunt. An even greater amount of shame finds you when your arms shake and eventually give, letting Beomgyu ease you down until you’re bent over the vanity.

“We really can’t do this.” It might be too late to keep fighting, but you don’t want to suffer the consequences of this all over again.

“Shhh, baby,” he whispers as his hand travels down your back and settles on your hip, massaging the area.

Oh god. This is so bad. You’re supposed to be hanging out with Soobin in a few hours. You can’t do this right now.

“Gyu”—

“It’s okay,” he soothes. “Stop shaking, why are you so nervous?”

“I’m supposed to see Soobin today!” you squeak. He tsks.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop thinking?” A warm hand trails up your thigh. He doesn’t go under your skirt, he stays well enough away from your center, but something about his touch is still making your head spin. No one can make you lose reasonability like Beomgyu can.

You whine, and you don’t know if it’s out of defeat or out of need. You blink a tear from your eyes and follow Beomgyu’s advice: you stop thinking.

“Gyu…” You don’t even know what you’re calling him for. You hide your face in your arms so you don’t have to watch your reflection give up her fight.

“Yes, baby?” Your hips push out in search for his touch before you can stop yourself. Tears of shame pool in your eyes, and you're glad Beomgyu can’t see your face to coddle you for that. “You need something?”

You don’t respond. It’s embarrassing how bad you need his touch, but you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. A part of you wishes he’d leave you here like this so you could take care of your needs yourself.

He flips your skirt up with a careful hand, and you keep as still as possible. You try not to even breathe too hard. “You’re wet,” he says. “Want me to help you?”

What’s the point of asking? He went this far already. “No,” you say, and half of the reason is just to test if he’ll do it anyway.

“But you need me,” he says, brushing your hair out of your face and turning your head to him with his fingers on your chin. He looks at you like you’re a deer caught in a bear trap, like he’s being merciful to offer his help. You feel powerless when he looks at you like that.

His pitiful stare just makes you blink more tears out of your eyes, and you’d hide your face if you could, but he insists on keeping your head tilted towards him. He coos when the wet trails reach your cheeks, bringing a thumb up to wipe your tears.

“Do you wanna feel better?” he asks, continuing to spoil you with tender touches. He grabs your hand and lifts it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. You feel every bit the deer caught in the trap—Beomgyu’s got you in his claws now.

“I don’t know,” you say, pouting up at him.

“It’s okay. I’ll help you. Just tell me when to stop…” The light press of his fingertip against your clothed core makes you sigh, tension melting from your body. You close your eyes, shutting off your brain and relaxing into the feeling.

“That’s right, it feels so good, doesn’t it?” He circles your clit, keeping his touch feather-light. Even that much drives you crazy and makes your legs tremble. “Can I take these off?” His finger moves from your clit to hook beneath the hem of your panties.

“Please,” you say. He kisses your shoulder blade in appreciation.

“What nice manners.” Your panties are slowly peeled off of you until they hit the floor. The cold air hits your wet folds, making you shiver in anticipation.

“Fuck,” Beomgyu utters as he stares at your pussy. He brings a hand down and starts rubbing your clit, leaving you a gasping and mewling mess already. “I missed this cunt. God, you haunted me. You tortured me.”

He attaches his mouth to your neck, kissing down to your shoulder. You cry out when his tongue meets your skin, licking and nipping at whatever skin he has access to. You clench around nothing, making more arousal drip out of you. Beomgyu coats his fingers in the slickness and continues drawing tight circles onto your clit.

“Beomgyu!” you yelp out when he speeds up. He places a parting peck onto your jaw before leaning away to look at your face. He smiles down at you.

“You need something inside that wet little cunt? Are you aching for my fingers?” His words make you feel lightheaded. You’re already having trouble thinking clearly, but now with that thought in your mind, you’re a goner.

“Yes, I need you!” He’s quick to give you what you want, sinking two fingers in with ease. You’re left crying and panting as he fucks his digits into you, filthy sounds filling the room.

“You’re so hot,” he praises, pulling your head up with his fist in your hair. You’re forced to stare at your own reflection, met with an image of you that looks so unfamiliar. Your mouth is hung open, spilling out moans and cries as Beomgyu’s fingers continue ramming into you. Your makeup is smudged and no longer suitable to go out in. The strap of your shirt and bra still hangs limp on your arm, and that side of your neck is coated in Beomgyu’s saliva.

“I look like a slut,” you say, pouting only for a second before your mouth is forced open again around a whine.

“You look beautiful.” His fingers curl into you, searching for the spot that will have your eyes rolling back. Your legs tremble when he finds it, and you have to rebalance yourself, clutching onto the vanity to keep yourself up.

“There! Oh, god, Gyu!” His mouth is back on your throat, hot and wet as he sucks and tastes and kisses. He nibbles on your jaw, then moves up to breathe into your ear.

“Let me fuck you, let me fill you up,” he whispers. You clench around his fingers at the thought. He stills inside you and you whine. “Baby.” He holds your face so you’ll look at him. He presses a quick kiss to your lips. You’re too far gone to complain. “You need more, right? You need my dick inside you?”

He curls his fingers inside you once more, and your back arches at the sensation. You try not to get too heady at the idea of him splitting you with his cock. That’s the one thing that absolutely cannot happen, so you can’t let yourself give in to that.

“Tell me, or else you won’t cum at all,” he says, rubbing his fingers inside you so perfectly it leaves your legs shaking.

“No, please!” you exclaim, panicked at the prospect of him leaving you on the edge. Your frantic hands are quick to play with your clit and squeeze your tits, trying to get yourself off while his fingers are still inside of you.

“Are you gonna let me fuck you today?” he asks, moving his fingers slower so you won’t cum. You pout and push your hips toward him, but a strong hand of his retaliates and keeps you still.

“We can’t,” you say. Immediately, he pulls his fingers out of you. He slaps your pussy, making you yelp and shut your legs. He pries them back open and slaps you again, harder this time. His fingers collect your wetness and tease your entrance, but never slip back inside.

“Did my slut already give it up to Soobin? Because that would really piss me off,” he says, staring meanly at you as he waits for your answer.

“No! We never did anything together,” you answer, the truth leaving you easily when you’re so desperate for his touch. He huffs out a laugh.

“That’s right. You know you’re mine.” He’s so pleased that he decides to relieve some of your need, rubbing your clit. “No one else would be able to touch you like me. Tell me how I ruined you for any other man,” he prompts.

He pulls his fingers off of you and pushes his pants down, whipping his dick out and stroking it as he looks down at you. He taps your clit with the head of his cock and bites back a grin when you mewl at the action. He thrusts against your pussy, letting his length slide between your folds.

You have to cling onto reality and keep yourself from slipping into a brainless haze. It’s hard to do when his cock feels so girthy and hot against you. He would stretch you so nicely. Your cunt oozes at the thought.

“Say it,” Beomgyu demands, grabbing your face again so you’ll make eye contact with him. He leans over your body to do so, and you feel completely surrounded by him. His stare is hard and demanding. Your eyes bug out when you feel him press his tip against your entrance, pushing with just the slightest bit of pressure, but not quite sliding in. “Say it or I’ll fuck the words out of you.”

That scares you into compliance. “You ruined me for anyone else! Only you can make me cum! I only want your cock!” you chant thoughtlessly.

He laughs and smooths his hands down your body, resting them on your waist. “Good girl. Was that so hard?” He’s so condescending, but it makes you drip like crazy. He goes back to thrusting against your pussy, making you sigh in relief.

Beomgyu runs a hand under your shirt, squeezing your tits. Your back arches when he twists and pulls at your nipples while continuing to slide his cock through your folds. He takes his dick and starts swiping his tip over your clit rapidly, watching you spasm at the sensation with a grin. Your hole continues to flutter, aching to be stuffed with his cock. Unfortunately, Beomgyu takes notice of that.

“You need that hole filled, baby? Need to be nice and stretched?” He brings his tip back to your entrance. He circles around it teasingly, making you whine. You can’t let him fuck you. You need to keep at least that much from him.

“Don’t,” you plead, getting more antsy the longer he stays at your entrance.

“Don’t?” he repeats, but doesn’t move away.

“Please don’t!” you cry, unwilling to let him go that far. He finally relents.

“Then you’ll cum like this,” he huffs and goes back to stimulating your clit with the head of his cock. You moan out, pushing your hips down to feel him pressed against you more. Your mouth is dropped open in pleasure, eyes shutting as you focus on the feeling. Your legs shake and try to close, but Beomgyu urges them back open with his hand on your thigh.

You can’t form any coherent sentences, stuttering out a garbled mess of words that tells Beomgyu you’re right there. “Let go, baby, be good and cum for me,” he says, and your body obeys. You spasm everywhere as your orgasm takes over, breathing out in sweet relief. He’s moaning behind you, movements getting shakier as his release finds him.

Beomgyu pulls away so his cum lands on your ass, but his fingers play with your pussy to help you come down. Your legs clamp shut when it gets too much, and he takes that as a sign to stop. The sound of you and Beomgyu panting fills the room as you recover from your highs.

“Fuck, I wish I could take a picture of this,” Beomgyu says, staring at your ass painted with his seed. You can’t even think of a smart reply to that, still trying to get your breathing back to normal.

Beomgyu takes off his shirt to wipe you down with it. You’re glad he still has the mind to take care of you. You cringe when you feel him try to put your soiled panties back onto you. “Stop, I’ll just get a new pair,” you say, kicking his hands away.

You stand up and stretch, trying to avoid looking at your reflection as much as possible. You grab your phone to check the time. What catches your sight instead is a text notification from Soobin, and suddenly you feel sick. Beomgyu smirks when his eyes land on your screen. “You still going out with him today?”

You almost feel like you could cry. Was this his plan all along? You put your phone back down, unable to stand the guilt.

He wins again. “No, I’m not.”

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Your life recently has just been a continuous cycle of proving that you can, indeed, stoop even lower. You’re so confused how you even got to this point. Your fairytale relationship was lined up for you, it was supposed to be easy to stop whatever you’re doing with Beomgyu and make Soobin your boyfriend.

Things are more complicated and confusing than ever, a precedent you continuously find yourself in. You can’t grow accustomed to this. You’ll go crazy before you ever figure out why Beomgyu won’t quit. What is the root of his insecurity? Why is he so threatened by the idea of you having a boyfriend? You’ve already told him you won’t leave him.

When you notice that Beomgyu’s not home when you get back from work, you decide to invite Chaewon over to keep you company. You don’t feel like being alone with your thoughts right now.

She’s there in a heartbeat, and the two of you are quick to settle on the couch and watch a bit of the show she’s currently binging. You’re only half an episode in when you stop paying attention and start talking to Chaewon about life instead. It doesn’t take long for Chaewon to land on the million dollar question.

“Alright, this has been killing me since we went to the bar. What happened with Soobin?” Chaewon asks.

You want to punch yourself. This is so embarrassing. “Well…”

“I swear, if you…” she starts, and you know what she’s thinking.

“I did.” You get a hard smack on the arm for that. You deserved it, honestly.

“You fucked Beomgyu?!”

“He didn’t stick it in, but we did basically everything else,” you admit.

“Why?” she asks. “Everything was going so well.”

“I don’t know. Because I’m stupid. I tried to say no, but you know him.”

She looks a little horrified to hear that. “What?”

You scramble to explain, not wanting her to get the wrong idea, “I mean, like, I gave in and let myself enjoy it because he wasn’t stopping anyway.”

“Do you even know how concerning that sounds?” Chaewon asks, looking genuinely worried for you. “Seriously, are you okay?” She runs a hand down your arm to comfort you.

“I’m okay. Thank you.” Her eyes have lost all their hardness and accusation, and she looks at you with only pity now.

“How’d this happen? Give me the timeline,” Chaewon says, and you sigh as you try to recollect the whole story.

“I actually initiated it the first time we hooked up again,” you explain with a sense of shame. “I was angry, and he kept insisting that I hate him, so I kissed him. Then it went further.”

“I hate him,” Chaewon says with a bitter laugh. You frown, so she continues, “I do. I can’t stand him anymore. He knew he was cornering you when he said that shit.”

“Well, it worked. It keeps working. I tried again to stop after that, which is when he told me I should just say no and”—

“What the hell?” Chaewon interrupts, appalled. “As if you haven’t been saying no in a million different ways!”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” You shake your head and shrug defeatedly. “So the next time he tries to initiate something, I say no, and he doesn’t listen because he said he could tell I didn’t mean it.”

Chaewon’s jaw is dropped open. It takes a few seconds for her to get a response out. “I really hate him. I’m fuming for you.”

“Well, I didn’t tell him to stop once he really started touching me. I don’t know why. He told me to tell him when to stop, and I just… didn’t.”

“He needs to get it together. You need to give him an ultimatum.” The drastic measures make your heart pound. Beomgyu would lose it.

“I can’t,” you say. “Even if I did, he’d find a way around it again.”

“Stop giving him so much power over you. You need to detox yourself clean of him.” She says that like he’s some bacteria you can just flush out. He’s more like a parasite taking control of your whole being.

“But I live with him,” you reason.

“Then stay at mine. As long as you’re here with him, he’s going to keep doing this. He’s been messing with your head and ruining your life on purpose. It’s such bullshit. He’ll never take no for an answer,” Chaewon spits.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” You snap your head over to where the voice came from. Fuck. Beomgyu came home.

Your heart stops. You hold your breath, staring at him with wide eyes. What do you say? There’s no excuse that could get you out of this situation.

Chaewon on the other hand doesn’t seem scared at all—she seems furious. “You,” she answers, unphased at his attempt to intimidate her.

She rises from the couch and approaches him with quick footsteps. You get scared for a second that she might hit him, so you follow her quickly. She stops in front of Beomgyu, and you stand back, observing the scene with your nerves on edge. Beomgyu doesn’t back down, staring daggers into her.

“Beomgyu, you are the most disgusting excuse for a friend in the world,” Chaewon snaps. She pokes a finger against his chest to make her point. “I can only pray that karma gets you one day and makes you see what a piece of shit you are.”

Beomgyu looks at you while pointing at Chaewon. “You’re just gonna let her talk to me like this? Did you even tell her the full story?”

You see red at his accusation. “I told her everything, matter of fact.”

“Yeah? Then she should know that you’re just as much to blame as I am,” he says, walking away from Chaewon and towards you. “I can’t believe you’ve been shit-talking me with your friends for things you chose to do with me.”

Chaewon chimes in, “How much of a choice does she have if you’re bugging her nonstop until she gives in? Crying, fighting, begging. If you were fucking normal she’d already be with Soobin by now.”

Beomgyu doesn’t turn to look at Chaewon as she speaks, so his face is still close to yours as he takes in her words. He doesn’t look remorseful at all. He just looks pissed.

“You can leave, Chaewon,” he says, voice dripping with venom. He looks you in the eye even as he says that. It sends a chill down your spine.

Chaewon grabs your wrist and pulls you a few steps away from Beomgyu. “Come sleep at mine tonight,” she urges you. “You don’t deserve to hear whatever shit he’s gonna put you through.”

“Fuck that,” Beomgyu says. “Get out of my house.” He points to the door. You’re shocked at the slight raise in his voice. He’s never done that before.

Chaewon looks at you, waiting for you to say something. You feel like the smallest person alive because you can’t bring yourself to accept her offer. It would only strain your relationship with Beomgyu more.

“Don’t be mad at me, Chaewon,” you plead, even though that’s probably too much to ask for. But she’s Chaewon, and she carries all the understanding she’s ever had, so she doesn’t get mad at all.

She squeezes your hand. “Be smart,” she says, then wraps her arms around you for a tight hug. “Text me if you need anything,” she whispers in your ear.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper in hers. She pulls away and pats your hair down, looking sympathetic.

“I’ll see you soon,” she says, heading towards the door.

“See you.” You can’t bring yourself to sound happy or excited as you watch her leave. It feels like your life force has been drained out of you, and yet you’re nowhere near done with the arguments tonight. You turn to Beomgyu, already expecting it.

“Please don’t listen to her,” he says. You blink up at him, confused. He’s not going to get mad at you? “I don’t know what she’s telling you, but don’t listen to it.”

You don’t have it in you to fight him right now. “I just chose you again, Beomgyu, even if I shouldn’t have. That should tell you everything.” It’s the last thing you say before heading off to your room. You don’t think your pout leaves your face all night.

Time and time again, you prove you can’t change. You can’t prioritize anything over Beomgyu, not even yourself. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic.

You want to believe you can grow as a person, but it’s so impossible when Beomgyu insists on bringing you back to square one every chance he gets. Chaewon’s offer rings in your head, telling you there is a way out. You could stay with her and leave behind all the mess that comes with being here.

Your eyes water. If only you weren’t so weak. You can’t imagine how that life would be better than one with Beomgyu in it. You can’t abandon him; for both his sake and your own, it’s better if you stay. You just have to get used to this being your new life.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

Somehow, Beomgyu becomes the only person you don’t feel guilty being around. When you’re with Soobin, you feel guilty for what you’ve done with Beomgyu. When you’re with Chaewon, you feel guilty for not taking her advice and controlling your life more. With Beomgyu, you don’t have to feel guilty, as long as you don’t let yourself think too hard.

You end up spending most of your free time cooped up in his room. It’s better than being alone—your thoughts might send you spiraling if you’re left to deal with them on your own. If making you codependent was Beomgyu’s goal, it looks like he’s succeeding.

You let Beomgyu hold you in his bed, you let him wipe the tears off your face, you let him comfort you with peppered kisses all over your skin and honey coated words whispered into your ear. You let him do whatever he wants because it’s better than fighting with him and breaking yourself down even more.

You open your phone to see you’ve got a text from Soobin.

[Soobin] Are you free today?

Well, technically you are…

You look over at Beomgyu, still caught up in his game. You think of spending time with Soobin, lounging in some restaurant or walking across the city. It’s nice, but any of that niceness is crushed when you think of telling Beomgyu that you’re going out with Soobin. You think of his petty arguments, of the tricks he has up his sleeve, of all the right words he knows just when to say to keep things going his way. You’ve had such a shit week that you just don’t feel like ruining your weekend like that.

You send your response.

I’m not :(

You shut off your phone and lay it against your chest. You feel like you’re becoming an awful person. A few minutes later, Beomgyu cheers and claps at his screen, pushing his chair out a bit and looking back at you.

“Come look at this,” he says. You wrap a blanket around yourself as you trudge over to his desk. He points to each statistic and explains how awesome and amazing they are, looking to you for validation.

“Super cool.” You nod and try to pull an impressed look, but he can always see through your bullshit.

“Why do you sound like that? What happened?” he asks. You fight back the urge to roll your eyes. Curse him and his stupid ability to read your mind.

You sigh. “I just feel like I’m always lying to Soobin recently.”

Beomgyu, ever the asshole, just smiles at that. “Why?”

“He asked if I was free today and I said no,” you explain.

“Well that’s right. You’re hanging out with me.”

“But we don’t really have plans. We hang out like this every day.” You don’t fight it when he pulls you into his lap. You relax into him.

“Just stop dragging him along. This is going nowhere.”

“It could, though,” you say.

“It couldn’t,” Beomgyu denies with complete certainty. He runs his fingers through your hair when you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. You would make sure of it,” you say, defeated.

“Don’t act so innocent.” His voice is soft even when he says that.

“I was so set on him. You never liked me like this until you found out about him,” you say, equally as soft, no real fight in you.

“I always liked you like this.”

“No. You never acted like this.”

“I was scared of losing you to him, so I had to act like this,” he defends.

“It makes me feel crazy. Makes me feel like a bad person.”

He hums, still comforting you with his hand in your hair and an arm around your waist. He pulls you up just a bit to position you so that you’re face-to-face with him. The blanket falls off of you and onto the floor behind you. He coos when he sees your teary eyes, cupping your face.

“You’re right, I would make sure of it. I’d never let you get into a relationship,” he admits. His voice drips with gentleness, and it’s smooth as ever, but you don’t feel soothed by it. You back up when his face gets a little too close to yours.

“What if I only want to be friends?” you question.

“Then just be my friend. Don’t be his girlfriend, though,” he pleads. “Would you really hurt me like that?”

“I can’t be his friend?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

A little fire of rage is starting to burn inside you at his possessiveness. It’s like he can sense it, and he’s trying to calm it down, gently rubbing his hands down your thighs.

“Don’t touch me like that,” you demand. He moves his hands to rest on your hips instead. “Don’t touch me at all.”

He pries his hands off of you and holds them behind his head. You feel yourself getting pissed off, but for some reason you don’t make a move to get off his lap.

“Why do you treat me like this?” you ask harshly.

“Cause I’m in love with you,” he answers like he can’t hold it back anymore. Your heart stops and your eyes shoot to his own in shock. He’s looking at you with all the honesty he’s ever had. “So forgive me if I can’t stand you being with someone else.”

You open your mouth, but you have no clue what to say, so you just shut it and stare at him, dumbfounded. It takes a few seconds for rationality to hit you and urge you up and away from him. He stands up as soon as you do, holding onto your wrist.

“No, don’t go,” he begs, lacing your hands together. You lean your head into his chest and cry out in confusion. What are you supposed to do?! God, a part of you wishes you’d never even met Soobin now. If you knew it would come to this, you’d have never stepped foot in that library. It’s just not worth it. You don’t even know how you feel right now.

“What the fuck Beomgyu!” you yell as you burst into tears. Everything is ruined. You can’t be with Soobin. You can’t be with anyone. You can’t have your old dynamic with Beomgyu back. Nothing will be the same.

Beomgyu hugs you, swaying you comfortingly and slowly. You hear him sniffle. He doesn’t deserve to be crying right now. What reason does he have to cry? Everything has gone his way.

You drop to the floor and hold your face in your hands, crying into your palms. He sits in front of you and pushes your hands down, brushing your hair back. His eyes are red from his tears too, but he’s tending to you. Your stomach twists. You don’t know what to think. A guttural sob leaves you.

“Maybe this city isn’t right for you. Let’s move away,” Beomgyu offers, trying a new approach.

“Like you know what’s right for me,” you mock.

“I do,” he asserts.

“You don’t.”

“Just stop with this. Do you not love me?” he asks, angry and serious. You don’t respond. He calls your name. You look away from him.

You don’t know. Somewhere in this whole mess, you’ve lost your perception of what you feel for who. You don’t respond because you have no answer.

He whines and hangs his head, clutching his chest like you’ve just stabbed him in the heart. Always the drama queen. You feel yourself calming down a little as you see it. At least you’re not the only one breaking down now.

“You want to be with him that bad?” he asks. He looks at you with pathetic eyes, tears falling from them pitifully. You feel nothing.

He grabs you by the shoulders with urgency and desperation. You have no more fight in you, so you let it happen. He picks you up and sits you on the edge of his bed. He stands over you, holding your head up so your eyes meet. He frantically searches for something in them. You’re not sure what.

“Can you talk to me?” he requests. “At least give me that much?” He pulls your mouth open with his thumb, staring at it like he’s waiting for something to come out. You don’t know what possesses you, but you feel broken enough to not question it when you take his thumb in your mouth and suck. Perhaps you’re just used to turning to sex in the midst of heated moments now. He pulls it out and stares at you funny.

“What?” you ask. He gives a sigh of relief, and you realize it’s because you finally said something.

“We gotta talk about this,” he says.

What’s there to talk about? He told you what your whole life is going to look like anyway. You don’t even want to think about it anymore.

“Let me sleep,” you whisper. Your head is pounding.

“Okay,” he agrees, laying you back on his mattress, adjusting the pillow beneath your head. You shut your eyes. He tucks you in neatly, making sure you’re extra comfortable. He uses gentle fingers to tuck your hair out of your face. You feel his presence stick beside you like a guard dog until you fall asleep.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You wake up with a clearer head. The room is dark, you must have slept your way into the night. You remember everything that happened and your eyes shoot open. Beomgyu’s sleeping soundly next to you. He has you right up against him, like he knew you’d try to run away as soon as you woke up. You realize that that’s what you should be doing right now.

You remember you left your phone on the bed somewhere. You feel around for it, more frantically the longer it takes, but you come up empty. A part of you wonders if Beomgyu took it. You shake the thought. He wouldn’t. You despise your mind for trying to paint your best friend as evil.

He can’t help how he feels, right? If he scared you or hurt you, he didn’t mean it. If he’s serious when he says he loves you, then he wouldn’t want to hurt you. You feel sick as you think it over. You probably shouldn’t run away. Where would you even go?

An idea pops into your mind, but you need your phone first.

Gathering your courage, you slip from Beomgyu’s grasp and get out of bed, causing as little commotion as you can. You scan the room with just your eyes, seeing if you can find your phone. You contain the urge to groan when you don’t see it anywhere. You bend down to check under the bed. Nothing.

You startle when you rise up and see Beomgyu looking at you. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m just looking for my phone.” You sound so meek and unnatural in your own ears. You sound scared of him.

“Oh.” He eases back into the bed. You didn’t realize how tense he got. Strange.

You look at him speculatively. “Do you… know where my phone is?”

He furrows his brows. “Are you accusing me right now?”

Yes. “No.” It’s so much harder to rationalize the situation when you’re talking to Beomgyu. He’s quiet for a minute, and it unnerves you. You wonder what he’s thinking.

You watch him closely as he reaches for something on his nightstand. It’s his phone. He taps around on it, and you have no clue what he’s doing until you hear it ring. He’s calling you.

The vibration of your phone is muffled, but present. Beomgyu looks to his side and lifts your pillow, revealing your phone. He hangs up the call from his end. You grab your phone, feeling guilty now.

“Now you can stop looking at me like I’m some psychopath,” he murmurs off-handedly. It stings your heart.

“I’m sorry.”

He sits up and stares at you, then lets out a heavy sigh. His eyes look puffy now from all his crying before, and you figure he must not have slept much. You wonder if he stayed up crying while you slept in his arms.

“I’m sorry too,” he says. You appreciate that, because he’s got a lot to be sorry for. “I got scared and it made me act crazy.”

So you’re finally having this conversation. Your heart rate picks up.

“You did. I guess I did too,” you say. You remember how you broke down. You remember everything he said. “Did you mean it all?” you ask.

He’s quiet for a second. “I meant it when I said I loved you.”

“And when you said you’d never let me have a relationship?” you push. He looks like you just kicked him, and he bites down his response. You remember what Chaewon said about him doing that, how he only does it because he knows you’re weak for him. Not this time. Fuck that. “Talk to me now, Beomgyu. I’ll walk out of your life forever if you don’t.”

He rushes to respond now, eyes wide with urgency. “I don’t know, I’m just desperate, and—and I need you.” He stands up, but doesn’t dare get too close to you. His hands are held together in prayer. “Don’t walk away. I’ll control myself now. Please stay. Who else do I have?”

You take a deep breath, trying to not let his words hit you too hard. You need to keep a clear mind. If your heart starts getting soft, you’ll lose to him again.

“I want you to never meddle in my love life again,” you say, speaking as clearly and confidently as you can.

“But I”—

“Never again. No excuses. Let me be.”

“But I love you!” Beomgyu cries, desperate to keep you to himself.

“Stop,” you insist, locking up the iron gates that protect your weak heart. You can’t let him get through.

“I love you, I love you, I love you! You can’t do this to me!”

You feel him slicing away at the bars guarding your heart. You have to get out of here before he breaks you down again.

“I’m staying at Chaewon’s tonight. If you try to contact me while I’m gone, you’ll never see me again. Give me space.” You fear your sanity might slip from you if you take too long to head out the door.

He drops to his knees as a sob escapes him. Unintelligible pleading escapes his lips, but you can’t allow it into your mind. If you stay here a second longer, he’s going to find your soft spots and attack. Adrenaline forces you to start moving.

You leave the room, leave the apartment, but you still hear his cries. They echo in your mind and torture you as your feet take you to Chaewon’s house. You move as fast as you can, desperate to clear your head, but Beomgyu proves himself again to be a parasite, a stain you can never wash off.

Chaewon’s eyes widen when she sees you. You must look as rough as you feel. “What happened?” she asks, ushering you to her couch. She wipes your cheeks, brushing away tears you didn’t even know were there.

“Beomgyu loves me.” You choke on a sob, leaning forward until your head is buried in Chaewon’s chest, wrapping your arms around her body. You’re glad you don’t have to beg her to comfort you—she’s quick to pat your hair down and hold you while you let it all out.

“Honey, it’s okay,” she soothes. You’re soaking her shirt with your tears, but she doesn’t say anything about it.

“No, everything has changed. Nothing’s okay.” Chaewon picks your head up at that, cupping your face so you’ll look her in the eyes. You sniffle back your tears, suddenly embarrassed by them when she’s looking at you so intensely.

“You will be okay. I promise you.” She sounds so sure of it that you have no choice but to believe her. You nod, and she looks pleased at that. Once she releases you from her hold, you wipe the wetness from your face. You feel yourself calming down.

“Thank you,” you say. Even if all you want to do in the moment is wallow in your own self-pity, you can’t let that be the rest of your life. Once you feel confident you won’t start crying again, you tell Chaewon everything that happened with Beomgyu. She’s quiet the whole time, nodding as you explain the whole ordeal. You don’t have it in you to joke about it right now, and you appreciate that she doesn’t try to either.

“Well, how do you feel? Do you love Beomgyu?” she asks.

You sigh. This is a loaded question. “I’m not in love with him, but I do love him. Even after everything he did, I still love him. I probably always will.”

Chaewon nods slowly and hums in acknowledgement. She takes a minute to ask her next question. “What about Soobin?”

You pout as you ponder it. When you think about being with Soobin now, it’s not heart fluttering anymore. Beomgyu ruined that for you. Maybe Beomgyu ruined any man for you. You can’t imagine talking to another guy, now—not for a while, anyway.

“I’m not in love with him either. I don’t know how I feel now,” you answer honestly.

You get another cryptic hum from Chaewon at that. “I think you should see Soobin tomorrow and see if that clears things up.”

Tomorrow? That’s so soon. You need time to recover from today. The thought of meeting up with Soobin fills you with some sort of dread and fear.

“I don’t know if I can ever see him again,” you admit.

It’s too late for you to come back from this. The damage is irreparable. Beomgyu has carved his name into you, and you can scratch it away all you want, but the slate will never be clean again. You’ll always be marred.

“See him one more time,” Chaewon insists. “Don’t give up yet.” You feel a little bit of life leave you as you sigh. You’re not the fighter that Chaewon wants you to be. You’ve tried so hard, but it never worked.

She puts a hand on your shoulder and continues, “Text him. Ask him to go out with you tomorrow. You can still make this work.” She picks up your phone and puts it in your hand.

You look into her eyes. She has enough hope in them to encourage you to unlock your phone and go to Soobin’s messages. You stare at your texts from earlier, regretting how you didn’t just accept his offer to hang out. You wonder how differently your day would have gone.

You take a deep breath and look at Chaewon for reassurance. Her smile gives you the courage to send something over.

If you’re free tomorrow, I’d love to go out

You doubt he’s awake right now since it’s so late, but you’ll settle with seeing his response in the morning. Chaewon encourages you to get some rest, and you think half of the reason is because she’s tired too, but you don’t argue. If you’re seeing Soobin tomorrow, you’ll need as much rest as you can get tonight. You’ll sleep away the pain and open your heart up to whatever comes with Soobin tomorrow.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You do your best to not think about Beomgyu at all as soon as you meet up with Soobin. You want to enjoy your day, and you’ll be damned if you don’t at least try. You’ve put up with so much, you need a break. A day out with Soobin could offer you that solace.

It’s colder by the lake that you walk along the edge of, but the sight is so nice that you don’t mind it. Being outside is helping you feel better, too. The lake is still mostly ice, with fresh snow piled on top of it.

“I’m glad we get to spend time together today,” Soobin says, walking slower until he comes to a stop. He looks angelic even with his nose red from the cold.

“Me too,” you say. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure you were busy.” You can’t look him in the eye when he says that, it hurts too much. You weren’t nearly as busy as he thinks you were. Your mind was preoccupied with someone else.

“How has work been?” You almost cringe at how surface level the question feels. You’ve been past the small talk stage for a while now, but you’re having trouble thinking of what else to talk about. It’s not like you can talk about your own life as of recent.

“It’s been okay. I miss you sometimes when I’m working in the library,” he says. Your heart should flutter at that. You should feel weak in the knees and butterflies in your stomach. Instead, you feel something inside you shrivel up. You push past the feeling, still determined to try to save this.

“I wish I went over more.” You wish you did a lot of things different.

“You still can,” he says, hopeful. You pray that he’s oblivious to your uncertainty. You smile at him, hoping it doesn’t look as forced as it feels.

“I can,” you agree. A beat of silence follows. You look out to the frozen lake. In the summer, this place is alive with the sound of birds chirping and people laughing. It’s quite different now. You look at the barren trees and strain your ears for any noise.

You don’t usually hate winter, but this year it feels eternal. You’re dying for the snow to start melting and to feel the sun again. The sight of flowers in bloom, of leaves returning to trees, is something you find yourself craving more than ever.

“Do you like the snow?” you ask, turning to Soobin.

“I love it. It makes everything look brighter.” You nod, looking back out to the world. The sunlight reflects off the stretch of snow, and you suppose it does look brighter like this. A gust of wind sends snow blowing at the two of you. You flinch, and he laughs.

“Have you ever gone skiing?” he asks.

You shake your head. “I went snowboarding with Beomgyu once, but I hated it. I had so many bruises the next day.” You laugh a little at the memory.

“I’ve been waiting to hear that,” Soobin says. You look at him in confusion. “Your laugh,” he clarifies.

“Oh.” You feel your face heat up.

“I love skiing, even though I’m not great at it. You should try. I know a great place. We can fall and get matching bruises,” he says, grinning. It puts a smile on your face, and you don’t have to force it this time.

“I don’t know if I can take up that offer,” you say.

Soobin nods. “That’s okay.”

It goes quiet again after that. Silence doesn’t bother you normally, but it feels deeper than usual when there’s nothing going on around you. You sway on your feet, kicking awkwardly at the snow.

“Are you alright? You’re never this quiet,” Soobin notes. You sigh. You couldn’t even begin to explain how you feel to him.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry I’m such a bore today,” you apologize, wanting to shrink into yourself.

“I’m never bored of you. Tell me what’s going on,” he prompts, looking at you attentively. You’re flattered at how he shows his care for you.

You stare at him for a long second, wondering how much would be acceptable to spill. “It’s just Beomgyu.”

Soobin laughs for a second at that. “That’s not the first time I heard that sentence.” He doesn’t look upset or bitter, but it still makes you feel bad. Even if he’s joking, it’s true that you keep bringing Beomgyu up around him.

“I don’t know what to do about him anymore.” You wish you had the guts to say more, but you’re a coward.

Soobin takes a while to respond to that, so long that you think he might just drop the conversation. His smile has shrunk, and you fear that he’s finally putting the pieces together. “You do what feels right,” he advises.

You swallow, trying to calm your nerves. “How do I know what’s right?” Your brows are upturned, lips pouted as you struggle to draw a conclusion. His eyes trail down your face like he’s assessing you.

“Your heart will tell you.” He has no clue the torment your heart’s been through. The poor thing is too weak to make any decisions. Following it will lead you nowhere.

You shake your head. “No it won’t.”

He sighs, and that’s when you know he’s caught onto your dilemma. “You already know what your heart wants. You’re just ignoring it.”

His words strike you with panic. You search his eyes to try to find the answer he’s come to. “What do you mean?” you ask.

“I just feel like…” Soobin starts. You hang onto his words as he struggles to finish his thought. “You’re always thinking of him.”

Your heart sinks. It feels like the world has gone weak, and everything around you is ready to collapse. Can you even deny what he said? You open your mouth to try, but any noise struggles to come out.

“So, can I ask you something?” he continues.

You nod. This moment feels so delicate and fragile, you’re scared of breaking it. Your voice comes out in a whisper when you respond, “Yes.”

“Did you like me at all?” His eyes dart between yours.

You hate this so much. You can’t protect your pride. Guilt spills out from the pit of your stomach and sickens you. Have you turned into something vile? Have you hurt Soobin so much?

“Of course I did. You’re wonderful,” you answer honestly. He wipes a tear from your cheek when it falls from your eye.

“And now?” He keeps his hand on your face. You can't stand his kindness. The knife twists further.

“I don’t know. Beomgyu—he…” You don’t even know where to go with that sentence.

“He fell for you?” he fills in. “I can see why.” He brushes your hair back. Even now, his smile is pure and soft.

“Soobin…” You’re stuck with the most impossible dilemma. A selfish part of you begs to keep Soobin around. The butterflies he summons still come back to life at times like these. You’ll never have to question his sanity. What bloomed between you was innocent and untarnished until Beomgyu dug his claws into you.

The other half of you tells you to stop torturing everyone. Yourself, Soobin, Beomgyu—you all suffer the longer you remain on the fence. You can’t have both men in your life, and you know that you’re not going to give up Beomgyu so easily. You just wish you could figure something out.

“I know your choice,” he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. How? How can he know so clearly when not even you do?

He takes your hand and brings it to his lips. The most gentle kiss you’ve ever felt is placed delicately onto it. You blink up at him. It’s almost like you can already see him flickering away.

He’s letting you go.

You feel the moment melting. You feel the world slowly coming back to life around you, and you want to ask it for one more minute. One more minute, where you and Soobin can be the only two people that exist. He’s putting your hand down, he’s releasing his hold, he’s getting ready to go. You know better than to cry and beg for him now. This is what has to happen.

“Do you know your way home from here?” he asks.

You’re crushed, but you don’t show it. “Yes.”

He steps back. “I’m glad I knew you. You’re the best thing this city has to offer.”

“That’s not true.” There is nothing more cursed in this city than you.

He smiles at you. It’s the last time you’ll ever see it. “It is. I hope he helps you see that.”

That’s the last thing he says to you before he leaves for good. You watch him walk away. Your feet don’t itch to run for him. Your hands don’t yearn to tug him back. The only thing you want now is to see your best friend.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You try to control the way your body shakes as you stand in front of the door. You need to get yourself together. You steady your breathing. Your fist meets the door to knock on it gently, like you’re unsure if you actually want to go in or not.

You’re glad you ran out of tears already. It would be quite embarrassing for Chaewon to open the door to you crying for the second day in a row.

She assesses you with a frown. “It didn’t go well, did it?”

There’s no need to sugar coat it. “It’s over.”

Chaewon’s lips part in surprise. She’s quiet, and for the first time, it seems like she doesn’t know what to say. You walk to her room without a word, and she follows just as silently. You take your usual spots on her bed, and you try to make yourself feel something. You just come up empty.

“Are you okay?” Chaewon asks, breaking the silence hesitantly.

“I guess,” you answer. You didn’t expect Soobin to let you go. Selfishly, you thought he would never leave you. Chaewon sighs heavily, but you don’t dare to look at her right now. Whether it’s disappointment or sadness on her face, you don’t want to know.

Karma must be real. This was always bound to happen, you realize. This is some cosmic joke, some lesson from the universe to tell you what happens when you let control slip out of your hands. You dug your own grave. Soobin was always going to leave you.

A pang in your chest strikes you when you think of the beginning. Soobin’s shy introduction at the library, his giggles at your flirtations, his eagerness to keep you talking. Everything was so light and easy. You could’ve sworn there was an invisible string connecting you.

“I’m sorry. It’s killing me that I can’t do anything for you,” Chaewon says, and you finally look at her. Her eyes are brimming with tears, lips quivering in an effort to not cry. You frown and hold her hand.

“You’ve done everything for me,” you correct. If it weren’t for all her talks with you in the past couple months, you would have gone crazy long ago. You’d be caught between Beomgyu’s teeth. Now you’re here, sulking over Soobin with her, instead of going home to your other best friend. “You helped me more than you think.”

Chaewon gives you a small smile as a tear falls from her eye. Her hand squeezes yours, and it makes you genuinely smile for a second. “I’m always here for you,” she says.

“Same here, for anything.” She scooches closer to you, and you rest your head on her shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” You ponder her question for a minute, trying to match a label to your inner turmoil.

You sigh, “Numb.”

She hums. “What are you thinking about?” That question brings the pang in your chest back. You can do nothing but succumb to the defeat and hopelessness of it all.

“We never even kissed.” You stare into nothingness as you meddle with the fact. It’s a stupid thing to be upset about, but you feel like you had your one shot at romance ripped away from you. Who can you blame besides yourself?

You could’ve had innocent, pure love. You could’ve had sweet kisses and interlocked hands and a hundred cute little dates, but you traded it all for anger-laced intimacy, endless confusion, and nights ending in tears. You’re a fool.

Chaewon looks at you with such pity that it makes your stomach twist. You must seem so pathetic right now. A part of you wishes you’d run off to Beomgyu instead. He would’ve pampered you, made you forget about Soobin if only for a moment. You know you were right to see Chaewon instead, though. You’ve made enough dumb decisions with your life. You’re sick of destroying everything because you can’t let go of Beomgyu.

Chaewon seems to be thinking the same thing. “I can’t stop thinking about where you’d be now if Beomgyu never brought himself into this.”

You tighten your lips, not knowing what to say. You don’t want to think about it at all. “Yeah.”

She turns to you fully, looking more serious now. “You’re not going back to Beomgyu again. Don’t let him get away with this,” she says.

It’s not that easy. What does she expect you to do instead? Ignore him, drop him now that it’s already too late? You’d gain nothing from that at this point.

“It’s useless,” you say. She takes both your hands in hers, holding them over her heart and looking into your eyes.

“I care about you too much to watch you spiral like this. Stay with me. I’ll help you bring your things here.” She looks at you with pleading eyes. Your heartbeat races. The choice is yours.

“I can’t burden you like that,” you say, shaking your head.

“It would burden me more to know you’re letting Beomgyu win again,” she insists. You exhale shakily, trying to stop your thoughts from flying by so fast. You need a clearer mind to be able to make this decision.

“I need to think about it.” Chaewon nods, always understanding of you.

“Just let me know. I promise I’ll be there in a heartbeat.” You feel like you owe this girl the world.

You look out the window, noticing how dark it is. You would stay over her house again, but something inside you urges you to go home. You shift on the bed, stretching as you get ready to stand up again.

“I think I’m gonna head home now,” you say, and you see her eyebrows knit in confusion immediately. You know what she’s thinking. “It’s not for Beomgyu. It’s for me.”

She still looks uneasy, but she doesn’t put up a fight. You’re glad she saves her lectures on Beomgyu this once. She gives you a parting hug.

“Think about my offer,” she says as you pull away. Her eyes are hopeful, like she’s counting on you for this one thing.

“I will,” you promise.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The moment you get home, you take yourself straight to Beomgyu’s room. It’s late, and you know he must be sleeping, but you don’t want to feel alone for even a second. You don’t want to think about Soobin.

Beomgyu’s room is slightly illuminated by the glow of his gaming setup. He looks so peaceful laying in his bed. His chest rises and falls in a perfect rhythm, and you find yourself calming down. You stand there in the doorway for a minute, debating whether or not it was too far to go and wrap your arms around him.

He stirs in his sleep. Perhaps he felt your presence—you wouldn’t doubt it at this point. The boy has always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to you.

“Gyu?” you whisper, testing if he’s waking up or not. His eyes flutter open, so slightly and sleepily that you barely see it. When he notices you standing at his door, he shifts on the bed to make room for you. He pats the spot next to him on the mattress, and your body responds to his call immediately. It seems the magnets attracting you together have never left.

You settle in beside him, cozying up to his warmth. Your eyes are unblinking as they stare at his ceiling. You barely feel like you’re in your own body as Beomgyu tucks you into his side. You only sort of register it as the weight of his arm falls across your waist.

“You came back,” Beomgyu says, voice scratchy and deep from sleep.

“You knew I would.” He doesn’t respond. He knows it’s true.

His breathing is starting to grow slower again, and your heart pounds in unease. You won’t be able to fall asleep. You don’t want him to leave you in the real world right now.

“Beomgyu,” you say in a quiet voice. He hums in response, and you feel the vibration of it in your bones. “I ended things with Soobin.”

He freezes. You don’t even feel him breathe anymore. You keep your gaze off of him; if he’s happy, you don’t want to see it. He tries to sit up, but you coax him back down. You don’t want to be up right now.

You continue, “Or, I guess, he ended things with me.”

His silence would irritate you if you didn’t feel so numb. You focus on your breathing, still staring at the ceiling. You feel weightless, like your body could break from the slightest shove.

Finally, he moves beside you. It’s just a turn of his head, but it’s enough to make you feel a little less stiff. You feel his eyes on you, but you can’t be bothered to meet them.

“Well, I’m not gonna say I’m sorry…” he says. You don’t need to look at him to know that he’s smiling.

“I know. Cause you’re an asshole.”

“But I’m not a liar.”

“Sometimes I wish you were,” you sigh. Your life might’ve been easier in that case.

He ignores that. “I’m here for you. Whatever you want, whatever you miss from him, I’m here.”

You don’t need that. You just need a cork in your chest to fill the space your heart has leapt from. His bandages will never stop the bleeding when it’s this profuse.

“I think you were right, I don’t know if this city’s right for me,” you admit quietly, resting your head on his chest. You hope the world is kind enough to let you find sleep tonight. His response comes in the form of hugging you closer to his body. You let it happen, soaking in all his warmth and comfort. This might be the last time you see him, after all.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

You don’t say goodbye. You pack a couple bags while Beomgyu’s not home, doing your best to ignore your blurred vision from the tears welling in your eyes. Chaewon greets you with open arms when you arrive at her place.

“Just these?” Chaewon asks, picking up your bags.

“Yeah, I didn’t grab everything. I left most of my stuff there,” you explain, voice hoarse from your crying earlier.

“That’s okay.” She brings your bags to her work room, which she promised to repurpose for you as your own room. You tried saying that you could crash on her couch for now, but she insisted that she’d do this for you, even if it’s just for a couple weeks.

The room is mostly empty—Chaewon must’ve been up all night clearing it out—save for her desk in the corner. You’re reminded of when you moved into your apartment with Beomgyu. The thrill of independence, of being a young adult in a new corner of the world. Everything was exciting and new back then, and you miss the innocence that came with it.

“My friend has a twin size mattress that he’s bringing over later today, we can find a frame for that at some furniture store,” Chaewon says.

“Oh my gosh, your friend doesn’t have to do that!” you exclaim. You already feel yourself becoming a burden. “An air mattress is fine.”

“Stop, I’m probably doing him a favor helping him get rid of it. I’m not making you sleep on an air mattress, those things suck.”

“We shouldn’t buy a bed frame yet, I don’t know how long I’ll be here,” you reason, but Chaewon’s not hearing it, shaking her head and dismissing the thought with a wave of her hand.

“We can just get something cheap. I know a really good place. I got mine there for, like, three hundred.” Your eyes widen. You can’t control your natural reaction to a great bargain. “Yeah, I know. So let’s go there.”

The rest of the day goes by in a blur of setting the bed frame up, putting half of your things away, and chatting with Chaewon about how nervous you are about this.

The two of you are cramped into your twin bed, talking the night away like it was any normal sleepover. Chaewon gave you one of her LED lamps, and its multicolored glow is the only source of light in the room. You lean into her, and she lets you practically use her as a pillow.

“Did you tell Beomgyu?” she asks. Her fingers run through your hair calmingly.

“No.” You don’t know if you should feel bad for that. He is your best friend...

“You don’t have to,” she reassures. “You should mute his number. He’s going to find out fast and bug you nonstop.”

Your eyes well up once again. You would have never, ever imagined your friendship with Beomgyu would come to this. Is it for the better? You’ll hate yourself forever if this is the wrong choice. If only you could see into the future. That would have saved you a lot of trouble long ago.

“He’ll know I came to you. He knows exactly where to show up,” you say.

“He could knock on my door all damn day if he wants, he’s not coming in.”

“With how he is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he brought a blanket and started sleeping at your door,” you joke. Your laughter is quick to turn to tears, and you don’t even know why. You wipe your eyes, not wanting to cry again, but you can’t help the loss you feel. Beomgyu’s your best friend. You just wish it could’ve stayed that way.

“It’s okay,” Chaewon comforts.

“No, I don’t want to cry,” you say, sniffling back the rest of your tears. “Let’s just watch videos and fall asleep.”

Chaewon leans over to pick up her tablet at the end of your bed, unlocking it to resume the movie you were playing in the background earlier. “Do you still want to watch this?” she asks.

“We should put on YouTube,” you offer instead. You yawn, closing your eyes as she looks for something interesting to put on. You’re already asleep by the time she makes her choice.

──── ──── ──── ──── ────

The first thing you see after waking up is Beomgyu’s texts. Chaewon would tell you to ignore him, but she’s sleeping soundly next to you and therefore can’t judge you for opening his texts immediately.

[Beomgyu] u out for the night?

[Beomgyu] helloooooo

[Beomgyu] ok well make sure u get to work on time

You should be getting ready for work. You shouldn’t be answering him. You don’t even know what to say, but your fingers itch to respond.

He still doesn’t know you won’t be coming back for a bit. Should you keep it that way? An ache in your heart begs you to spill everything to him. You look at Chaewon again, making sure she’s asleep. You look back to your phone with a sigh and let your fingers fly across the keyboard without a second thought.

You don’t reread the text once you send it. The only move you make afterwards is to mute his notifications. Something about it makes you feel so empty. You don’t know if you feel like a whole new person or the shell of a person. You don’t have time to linger on it either, because you have to get ready for work.

The feeling persists throughout the day. You feel like a robot, like you’re living life on autopilot, letting your body carry you around while your soul is busy searching for the important answers. You don’t care which font your boss would like best for the title on this report, you don’t care what kind of smoothie your coworker should get. You want to know how to fix your life.

Your walk back from work is much stranger now that you can’t take the path your feet have memorized so well. The thought that this could be the path you’d walk to walk everyday for weeks or even months strikes you with a sort of dismal feeling. This feels different than going to Chaewon’s place after work just to hang out. This is going to Chaewon’s place because that’s where you have to go.

You’re not granted reprieve from the whirlwind of thoughts as you make your way home to Chaewon. You question every choice you’ve made up to this point, all the way back to if moving here with Beomgyu was ever a good idea in the first place.

Is there a way to repair all the damage that has been done? The thought of starting all over again is frightening. If you ruined it all, if there’s no going back to how things were, then you might as well make a life for yourself somewhere new.

Maybe you could convince Chaewon to fly across the country with you. You picture a life where you don’t have to worry about bumping into Beomgyu or Soobin again. It both frightens and intrigues you. You can’t be so greedy, though; she has everything set out for her here. You can’t rip her away from the city that loves her so much. You just wish it was as good to you.

The possibilities of what could have been haunt you. You look at passing couples with a sense of envy, picturing you and Soobin in their place. Every store you pass, every street you walk down is a memory that you’ve made. It’s almost too much to handle.

Your feet almost stop as you pass the library. You only let your eyes linger on the building for a few seconds, but that’s long enough to make your insides twist. The warm lights that seep through the windows don’t feel comforting to you anymore. You walk a little faster and tug your jacket closer to your body. The trip back to Chaewon’s feels a little colder now.

You open your messages with Beomgyu as you near her place. You don’t know if you should be happy or scared that he still hasn’t responded. You finally allow yourself to read your parting message, feeling a little emptier as the words linger in your mind with nothing back from him.

Hi Gyu, I’m staying with Chaewon for a bit. I’ll come back if and when I’m ready. I really regret a lot of my recent decisions, and I think I just needed this as a refresh.

Don’t be mad at me. You’ll always be my best friend. Love ya

You swallow down the knot building in your throat. This is for the better. You repeat the phrase like a mantra as you make it to Chaewon’s house. You wonder when her place will start feeling enough like home, when you’ll stop craving to return to your real one. You open the door and shove down all your thoughts and feelings.

This is for the better.

notes: sorry team soobin. sorry team beomgyu. no one wins... and maybe that's what needed to happen... much love and i hope you enjoyed the read!!!

taglist: @beomgyusluver @blankliving @ewsnup @flowzel @immelissaaa @multistansimp4life @nanamongmong

© delugyu 2025, do not translate or reupload

[bumblebaubles]

i literally can’t breathe

[heart2beom]

second lead syndrome

pairing: taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff, just tons of fluff

synopsis: taehyun, your neighbor, has been helping you out with beomgyu, the best friend you've been in love with for your entire life. when you finally score a date, albeit taehyuns plan working, you're in crisis.

because you start getting second thoughts.

warning: purposeful wrong tagging for more reach. sorry babes im greedy 😭 though i dont specify pronouns, this is more fem leaning!!

notes: i wrote this in only an hour, not the most quality work but i had to release something for my favorite man's birthday hello????!?! also was listening to this is what falling in love feels like by JVKE on repeat, if that helps with the reading experience. i have no idea if it does. lol as always, reblogging will help the algorithm pick this up so as a content creator, ill love you for it.

you were extremely fidgety as you looked at yourself in the mirror -- this was the fourth outfit you've changed into. you slightly chewed on your bottom lip, furrowing your brows together thinking...none of this felt real, that was one thing you were sure of. preparing to go on a date with beomgyu...it's like dying and actually walking up the stairs of heaven.

the man that was all your firsts yet, felt like a distant, unachievable dream. the man that makes you go to sleep with the biggest smile, and the man that makes you kick your feet, squealing into your pillow even after long graduating high school. he felt just like a celebrity crush. a celebrity crush, someone you'll never ever have the chance to date.

that is, until taehyun moved in next door. you heard rumors from the old ladies at the apartments' lobby that he was a genius, a young einstein if you will, graduating seoul university with top marks.

you don't know what, but something possessed you to go knock at his door's flat, pushing a welcome basket of bread in his arms, saying word for word, "teach me how to make a guy fall in love with me". of course, you managed to squeak out a please for politeness sake.

it was the built up desperation, you guessed looking back. but despite thinking highly of taehyun's mind, you never expected whatever voodoo steps he made up to actually work. sure, it took...what? like, months and twenty bucks every now and then, but it worked.

you turned away from your mirror, looking back at the man occupying your bed, cocking your head to the side.

"what? are you feeling like you're dreaming again?" he asks, mirroring your action. "want me to pinch you?"

you exhale, exhausted. "i need to change."

which taehyun sat up straight to, "again? i already told you, you look pretty."

you roll your eyes to that comment. maybe getting a man to help you prepare for a date wasn't the brightest idea you've had, though, you aren't particularly known for having bright ideas anyway.

"i need an honest opinion, but you just keep on saying oh you look good, oh you look pretty" you mock, deepening your voice to mimic taehyuns'. before he could retaliate, you add "and it's not helping, at all."

it was silent for a while, until he folded his arms,"you want me to give my honest opinion?" he asked. and you nod, frantically at that.

"brutally honest, hit me with the straight, cold facts." you say, preparing yourself by straightening your shoulders.

"well, for one" he starts, to which you take a deep breath at anticipation, "you'll never make it on time for your dream date. that's one fact."

you groan, walking in your stupidly long heels to sit on the edge of your bed, next to taehyun. "okay, well, that's a given at this point. give me something else."

"and you're incredibly, weirdly nervous for a movie date with your best friend. that's another fact." he had put his phone face down next to him, now with his legs crossed, as he looked out for your reaction.

"taehyun." you drawl, beyond annoyed.

"what?", he asked innocent, like he wasn't just taunting you. all you did was give him a death glare, which earned an airy laugh from him.

"alright, i'll be serious now, i promise." he said, scooching up to sit directly by your side now, his legs touching yours with how close he was.

"starting with your face— don't get mad, you asked for this." he warned with a raised finger, which made you nervously gulp. did you really look that bad? you nodded to reassure him to continue anyway—you weren't going to risk going to this date looking bad.

"your eyes; the glitter, though it helps pull your whole look together," he makes a hand gesture, your breath hitched in your throat, as you nodded for him to continue "it's dull when you compare it to your eyes."

you furrow your brows, incredibly puzzled. "what does that mean?"

"your eyes shine more" he said with a cheeky grin, your mouth left agape at his playfullness.

"glitter doesn't shine. you..you suck at flirting." you said hitting his shoulder, letting out an unbelievable scoff.

he fauxes hurt as he rubs his shoulder, "this isn't flirting, i'm being very honest right now!"

you roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. "mhm"

he shrugs, "i'm not going to continue if you don't believe me."

"okay, okay. i believe you, continue kang."

"alright. so, your brows," you nod. "perfectly trimmed, which..." he leans closer to your face, his thumb grazing your eyebrows. you didn't expect the sudden closeness, so your breath was hitched, stuck right in your throat. "which is good. there's no little hairs in between, or surrounding them."

he moves away after what felt like a whole hour, in reality, was just a few seconds. only beomgyu ever got that close to you — that's your justification for your heart quickening at the proximity. you just got reminded of beomgyu, that was it.

"going well so far." you breathed out, finally being able to talk.

"yeah? told you you don't look bad." you narrowed your eyes. "taehyun. you're not doing this just to say i told you so are you? that's, like, cheating!"

taehyun sighed. "y/n, do you think i'm trying to sabotage you or something? i'm not. i'm not praying on your downfall, i'm being honest."

your previously furrowed eyebrows turned into pleading ones, filled with insecurity. "yeah?"

"yeah." you looked up to see his eyes. they always calmed your anxiousness, you found that the eyes are the doors of the soul saying couldn't have matched anyone more than it did taehyun, you knew everything just by looking at them. and this time, when you looked at them, it was almost overwhelming how they looked back at you with such softness — sincerity.

so overwhelming, your heart picked up at a faster speed, once again. what was up with you?

"okay, now, your lips," and again, his thumb. the one responsible to all of this. it was on your lips, going back and forth on the bottom one, then facing it to his eyes. he looked a bit taken back, kind of shocked.

"what?" you ask with your brows raised. he turns his thumb to you, with an amused smile spread on his face, "there's no red."

you let out an airy laugh, he was way too cute. "well, yeah, it's a no smudge matte lipstick. it's impossible to get off without makeup wipes."

"huh. then, that's good. you can kiss beomgyu without it being all messy." you nod slowly to that. "hey, on that note, refrain from giving me details about the kiss... if it happens."

you're quick to retaliate with a scoff. "it will happen, why won't it happen? it'll happen!"

he shakes his head, which earns an offended expression from you. "i'm just saying, you're the biggest coward i know."

"you're the biggest coward i know." you replied immaturely.

"i'm going to...i'm going to ignore that lame comeback and pretend it wasn't awful." he said, taking a look at his phone. "it's about to be ten...are you feeling less..insecure?"

you look at your heels, then back at him with a smile. "think so, yeah."

when you finally lock your door with keys, taehyun hovering over your back, you turn to him chirply. you're ready, you're ready to go out with beomgyu.

"so." you started, looking up at him, a large smile on your face. "thank you, taehyun. seriously. i know it was kind of weird at first, like you know, spending a lot of time with a stranger but to be completely honest—"

"it wasn't." he interrupted.

"huh?"

"it wasn't weird spending so much time with you."

"oh—well, uh" again, taehyun catches you off guard with his aloofness, making you stutter like an idiot, completely forgetting your monologue.

it didn't help that taehyun somehow was closer than you thought, way closer than the usual arm length. seriously, what was up with the proximity?

when you catch a glimpse of his eyes, it was again, so soft, waiting for you to say something. then, when taehyuns hand found its way tucking a strand behind your ear, you couldn't hear anything anymore. your heartbeat was magnified to your ears, despite seeing that his mouth was moving, saying something, you couldn't focus.

he waved a hand at your face, and you refocused again.

"think you should go now, love of your life's blowing up your phone."

"um—um yeah" you stuttered, waking up from your thoughts. "it's probably beomgyu" you muttered, smiling weakly.

"yeah," he chuckled a little, and god, was it so fucking cute. "thats why i said love of your life."

it was weird how you didn't catch that, you've always been referring to beomgyu as the love of your life, especially with taehyun.

you watched as he unlocked his door knob, looking back at you with his eyes twinkling a little under the dim hallway lights, "don't get nervous, you really do look pretty."

then he was gone, cruelly leaving you with one thought as you looked at the texts from the contact name, 'love of my life'.

you weren't ready. you weren't ready to go out with beomgyu. at all.

ending a/n: soooo how we feeling? cute? cute? readers so starstruck by taehyuns eyes and im just like..yup, same. me. this was originally apart of a very long fic i was working on, but that was scrapped, so..lol have this cute lil thing