#switched to new editor just to make this post not rebloggable so that's my level of commitment

[veliseraptor]

ready for a major whine that's almost certainly going to come off sounding horribly entitled? yes?

so last night I posted a new fic for cql that I was very self-conscious about and tentative about posting. and also posted (unwisely!) an old mcu fic as part of my ongoing project to crosspost tumblr only fic to ao3 a little at a time. woke up this morning to 11 new comments on the latter and one on the former and it's just. idk.

I know I'm being whiny as hell, I know I get more attention than many people ever do, and it's not like the old fic isn't still my fic and also that it's for a bigger fandom and not a niche threesome but there's a part of me that's still like :( :( :( because this is the fandom I'm actually in right now and want to be writing for and the nagging part of me that is litcherally always like "the majority of people doesn't want you here and you should just get out" got significantly louder this morning, and another part of me is like "oooh look once again people are moving on without you and losing interest in the things you care about :)" and just. augh.

it may be apparent that I woke up in a weird/bad headspace this morning. maybe I'm still settling back into actually taking my meds. hoping that's it.