#sure ray didn't say no but that's why mew chose ray

[iguessitsjustme]

Really not a fan of Cheum telling Ray off for treating her and Boston like third wheels when she's been treating everyone like a third wheel to her and Mew's friendship. She was literally telling Boston to leave because she didn't want him there 5 minutes ago but now that she needs him to throw in someone's face, she's friends with him again. I have no sympathy for that.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Sand's Reaction to Ray VS Boeing

I know some people will be annoyed that Sand wasn't more forceful in telling Boeing to leave him alone. In my opinion, this isn't really surprising. Sand's biggest strength and weakness is his kindness. He'll make concessions for people, even those who hurt him. Ray is a prime example. Why would his ex be any different?

Boeing's Dubious Intentions

It's glaringly obvious just how uncomfortable, stiff and exasperated Sand's body language is during their second exchange. This is someone he shared his ultimate dreams and passions with, which must have made the betrayal even more devastating. We still don't have the full context as to how this all went down, but I'm sure Sand hasn't forgotten that Boeing chose to leave him. Compared to their first re-encounter where Sand appears rattled and somewhat flustered, here he seems to display a more resolute lack of patience, possibly after reminding himself of Boeing's true colours.

This doesn't erase the fact that Sand had feelings for him once, cared about him once. Sand didn't choose to end the relationship, Boeing did. So there would have been unresolved feelings that Sand had to process alone in the aftermath. For Boeing to have the audacity to swan back in rightly warrants a less than lukewarm response.

Even so, Sand shows Boeing an incredible amount of grace when he certainly doesn't have to. He tries to calmly but firmly ward Boeing off. "State your business". "Just forget it. I don't think I'll go." "Just friendship. That I can give you." He makes it very clear that Boeing can find him at the bar but nowhere else. He's trying to establish a distinct boundary, which Boeing swiftly disregards.

Sand's Unease: Where Past & Present Collide

The way Sand is reacting says to me he desperately doesn't want Ray involved. He seems eager to keep him well away from Boeing. Sand could have chosen not to mention his ex's sudden reappearance, but decides to be upfront with Ray about it. I think Sand's turmoil is a sign of worry over what Boeing may do, rather than an indication of indecisiveness over his own feelings. The reason I say this is because Sand doesn't show any warmth, residual affection or happiness in seeing Boeing again. He looks mostly wary, unnerved even.

I can also see why Sand would try to refrain from openly displaying his feelings for Ray in Boeing's presence. If he exhibits just how much he cares about Ray, whose to say whether Boeing may pull another stunt like he did with Mew/Top and try to pursue Ray instead just to be messy. The way Sand looks at Boeing is laden with suspicion and uneasiness, particularly when Ray is around. This is really noticeable when Boeing first addresses Ray - Sand's whole demeanour gets much colder and standoffish.

We don't know precisely what Sand is afraid of - that Boeing may target any ill will at Ray? Or that Ray may be affected by his ex flaunting details about their history which could cause jealousy? Things are going really well between Ray and Sand right now but it's possible Boeing could try to stir up a misunderstanding or create conflict between them.

Ray's Protectiveness: "Deal with him or I'll do it."

Ray knows better than ever what Sand is like. He's all too aware of just how painfully kind and caring his boyfriend can be, often to his own detriment. Boeing is keen to exploit this very fact by trying to appear imploring towards Sand, "You never yell at me." Ray is also acutely familiar with how Sand struggles to say no to those he cares about.

Whilst Ray observes angrily, I like to think this comes from a place of being mad for Sand more than anything. If he's seen their entire interaction play out, he'll notice that Sand has not once initiated physical contact with Boeing. He doesn't shirk him off, but he certainly doesn't respond either. He keeps his arms firmly planted at his sides, and yet Boeing keeps trying his luck. Something about the way Boeing behaves with Sand feels like he treats him as a plaything - someone he used to have wrapped around his finger. Perhaps he thinks that the power he used to have over Sand still remains.

Sand's expressions also feel loaded with shame, as if he's repeatedly chiding himself for being foolish enough to love someone like Boeing, who so cruelly tossed him aside. That somehow he feels partly to blame. Maybe this is a Sand he doesn't want Ray to see. Yet here Ray is, on the side-lines, taking all this in.

From their very first interaction, Boeing is trying to undermine Ray. You can see Ray's growth as he doesn't confront or make a fuss, but chooses to respect Sand's wishes and instead stays quietly hidden to keep watch. He looks to Sand for confirmation he'll be okay on his own before leaving. Though he can detect something isn't right, he allows Sand the opportunity to handle this first.

As soon as he sees Boeing trying to cross a line, he steps in. He's not going to permit Boeing trying to drag Sand off somewhere alone, he'd rather keep the enemy directly under his nose.

What I'm hoping to see in Episode 12 is protective Ray to come out full force. I've said this before but the entire series has been Sand looking after Ray. Whereas this would be a great opportunity for Ray to look out for Sand, and to teach Boeing a lesson at the same time.

That eye contact in the last scene was so loaded. Ray's gaze is a silent threat- 'That's my man you're looking at, don't get used to it. If you're really stupid enough to try anything on my watch, I'll tear your neck out.' Don't ever underestimate Ray, he's small but feisty.

[mikuni14]

Only Friends Ep 6

Oh, but they're all nasty now 🥳 Even Sand, who seemed so cool, could throw the guy he had a crush on under the bus when the desire for revenge and to emerge victorious in this stupid and old fight with Top, the desire to have the last word, turned out to be stronger.

Ray and Sand Ray definitely won this episode. I wrote from the beginning that for me Ray was the most withdrawn, bland character who was nothing but a background for others. And it's quite possible that this effect was intentional, because this episode made it clear that Ray IS the backdrop for his crew and even for Sand who used him without any consideration. He is invisible, he is in this group probably because of his money, because I bet that if he were poor, with his drunkenness and detachment, he would have been excluded from this group a long time ago. Let's face it, money makes a whole difference in how drunks and drug addicts are treated 🤷‍♀️ But beyond that, Ray is invisible and the worst things can be said about him, even in his presence. No one noticed the tension between Ray and Boston, the way they looked at each other with hatred at school, during meals, ALL THE TIME. Likewise, what Chueam says about Ray is rude and I'm not surprised that she was the first victim of Ray's outburst when he finally had enough. In general, Ray was treated terribly by his so-called friends who behaved towards him as if he had no feelings and could be easily insulted without any consequences. Because he's a good sport and these are just jokes, right? Additionally, no one notices his depression or his new relationship with Sand. I really like that Ray used the weapon used by Boston - the truth served raw ✨💀 And I love that no one escaped his wrath, not even Sand (calling him whore was, I must admit, very satisfying). (The only thing missing is that Ray is unable to look at Mew other than through rose-colored glasses and sees no flaws in him. Even after he hit him. But that's just me, I simply don't like Mew :P)

It's very good that the series also showed Sand in a negative light, he has been shown too well so far. And here you go, data theft, lies, pettiness, taking advantage of people who trust him :) I hope that seeing Ray on the road to self-destruction will bring him to his senses and reflection. Personally, I think that for their well-being, Ray and Sand should limit their contacts with the rest of this increasingly chaotic crew.

Boston and Nick Poor Nick, every time he thinks he has a chance for a relationship with Boston, a new obstacle pops up 😉 Ah, Boston. His wierd honesty is so incredible. And it turns out that he wanted Top, just like that. He chose him and got him, because fuck you, that's why. And he probably didn't intend to do anything about it, it seems he didn't intend to use it against Mew, he looked genuinely concerned when Ray told him he knew about it. It's amazing that out of this whole team, Boston is the most honest person, who makes things clear all the time and is right about every single person. In fact, the only problem is with his way of presenting the truth - he did not do it nicely and sensitively. Just like Ray suddenly became the "bad guy" when he did the same thing.

Mew and Top I liked Top, who didn't deny what he did, didn't minimize his guilt, didn't lie. But the more I see him, the more I wonder what is so "top" about him... Mew felt a bit inconsistent in this episode. First, he presents himself as a fulfilled person who has plenty of love and doesn't have to look for it, doesn't have to prove anything. Then he makes a whole show of pretending his interest and love in front of Top to triumphantly prove his cheating. What for? I know it was a good scene, because it was, but the fight with Ray, then the whole.. acting in the bedroom… somehow it doesn't fit the story and how Mew is being presented. Because I'm 99.99% sure that Mew will give Top a second chance and will probably do something stupid as a revenge, and that fits Mew, who for me has been a contradiction of the image created from the very beginning. Many things are said about him, by others and by himself, but imo it's very simple, he just wants a specific guy, he wants Top, and that's why he has and will continue to look for excuses to be with him. And unfortunately, living in lies and delusion about oneself kind of poisons the soul, so I think that in his case it may be his villain original story 😃 And, hmm, maybe this scene in the bedroom is the first manifestation of this "poisoning of his soul"? Breaking bad? Maybe this makes some sense after all? 🤔

What this series does well is the butterfly effect, those little bad things that turn into big bad things. That they take on a life of their own and get out of control. Did Nick expect his little recording would cause so much trouble? Did Sand expect his little trick on Ray to cause such chaos? Did Chueam's expect, that her rude, thoughtless comments towards Ray would endanger her own relationship? It is also about underestimating others, their feelings, their habits, which ends exploding in their faces. Boston underestimates Nick, everyone underestimates Ray, Mew underestimates Top, Top underestimates everyone. Chaos is already spiraling beyond control. Woohoo! 🥳✨💀

[twig-tea]

I wasn't going to go into it but: to give more context to what I'm thinking about when I say I'm nervous: Boston has faced consequences for every person he's had sex with in this show. Gap (recorded explicitly against his will); Nick (voice recorded without consent); Top (friends blamed him for it); Atom (falsely accused of sexual assault). We know he's had more sex than that but we haven't seen any of it or have any specifics.

Mew clearly stated that he felt more betrayed because he'd already had sex with Top before he found out Top had sex with Boston while they were in the talking phase; he's put a lot of emphasis on having sex with the "right" person only (which is fine in isolation). He didn't have casual sex with anyone while on his revenge spree, and he couldn't have sex with Ray.

Sand and Ray are a mess--they're having sex and we know they care about one another and won't admit it, and Ray is cheating on Mew at parts, so there's all kinds of judgement around the sex they're having not being within a monogamous and committed structure (and you could say Ray calling Sand a whore multiple times is a consequence). Sand and Nick again, decided they couldn't have sex. (Which again is fine in isolation, and I enjoyed the decision when it aired, but in the pattern of the show, I now wish it had gone differently...)

Top has had sex with Boeing (and been punched and then had his sex with Boston exposed by Sand as revenge), with Boston (and lost Mew), and with Mew (who then broke his heart and lit a fire in front of him).

Nick has had sex with Boston (and had that go up in flames) and now Dan (which is so far fine, but in theory about to potentially lose him his job--we'll see about this one)

Has there been any casual sex in this show that was just a thing that happened, and it was fun or even just fine, and then everyone moved on?

There's obviously a massive difference between "this happened and it was bad and it caused bad things to happen" and "this happened and other people around you judged it as bad and punished you so bad things happened even though it's unfair"; but I'm not sure that nuance is landing, yet.

This is why I'm so invested in how the show ends. Because whether they meant to be sending this message, and whether the narrative supports or refutes that it's deserved, as it stands the show is saying that sex causes problems and not having sex outside of a committed relationship is the Right Decision. It would have been just as fine if Mew and Ray or Sand and Nick had sex and then said yep let's not do that again for the story, but that didn't happen and we're told that's a good thing. And of course, some of the drama is who these people (esp Boston) chose to have sex with and the drama that would ensue, but for my peace of mind I need just a few examples of sex being fine outside of a monogamous relationship (April and Cheum) without causing strife. Boston and Nick not being monogamous would be perfect, and I think they've set up that as a possibility, which is why I remain hopeful.

But yeah, this is why I'm nervous, not because I think the narrative says Boston deserves it, but because it can be read that he's (and everyone who has casual sex is) being punished anyway, and the narrative saying but it's undeserved isn't enough to counter the actual consequences, unless it's made more explicit and/or we get examples where folks aren't punished for casual sex.

Still lots of room to land this show, but that's what I'll be paying attention to as part of my assessment of whether it's successful!

Since we are talking about Boston and his unfair treatment by the narrative for his promiscuity, I just want to throw out a quick message to say I hope people aren't out here thinking that Jojo and Ninew think Boston deserves what has happened to him. I very much hope people are able to understand the commentary of the narrative.

[iguessitsjustme]

Also not a big fan of Mew (though I was never a Mew fan). Mew is more than happy to let other people be blamed and take accountability for his own poor choices. He starts smoking? Ray gave him the cigarette. He does drugs? Ray gave it to him. He starts acting out and being self-destructive? Well Top cheated on him and made him this way (don't even get me started on whether or not Top actually cheated). Mew is a grown ass adult who knew what he was doing when he chose Ray. He went to Ray because he didn't want to be stopped. Mew had no problem saying no to people before even when offered these things. So why is it now Ray's fault for giving in when Mew asks? Mew wants it so Mew gets it.

Only Friends the series? Yeah right. The only friends in this series are Mew and Cheum. Both of them are more than willing to throw Boston and Ray to the side the second they don't fall in line. The second those two are difficult. The second their trauma and their problems present themselves in unhealthy ways and make them hard to be around. If they don't want to be friends with those two, they should stop pretending. Stop throwing their mess ups and their destruction back in their face after refusing to help them and then abandoning them. No one is holding a gun to their heads making them stay friends with the "bad influences." Mew and Cheum just keep Boston and Ray around to feel superior to them. I'd rather chill with Boston, who at least knows what he is and embraces being an asshole, than two people who only actually care about each other and making sure they are on the moral high ground at all times.

[chalkrevelations]

#they all suck but that pissed me off more than anything else #also let's stop blaming ray for mew's choices yeah? #sure ray didn't say no but that's why mew chose ray #because he knew ray would let him do whatever the fuck destructive behavior he wanted to do #mew is a grown ass adult #he needs to be held accountable for his own behavior and not push it off on someone else #ray is a bad influence sure #but mew had no problem not being influenced before so it's entirely his choice #ray is not pressuring him into doing anything he's simply not telling mew no

Why are the rest of these golden observations consigned to the tags, op?

Really not a fan of Cheum telling Ray off for treating her and Boston like third wheels when she's been treating everyone like a third wheel to her and Mew's friendship. She was literally telling Boston to leave because she didn't want him there 5 minutes ago but now that she needs him to throw in someone's face, she's friends with him again. I have no sympathy for that.